Tales of the Leaves
by Soraya the All Speaker
Summary: Stories and secrets of Konoha, dreams and whispers, tears and laughter. A collection of drabbles, mostly Tsu/Jir but there are others. Daily Update, completed.
1. Why Are You Watching Me?

So we were playing Truth or Dare, and I kept being dared to write Tsu/Jir ficlets by Carlafox1997. So I decided as long as I have them, why not post all of the drabbles? I'll add to them as she gives me more dares ;)

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Why Are you Watching Me?

Tsunade walked along the streets of Konoha lost in thought. She had only been back in the village for a couple days and she was still uncomfortable with the respect people gave her. Even Jiraiya, the baka, had referred to her as Hokage-sama a few times. Speaking of the other Sannin...

"Jiraiya, what are you doing?" the blonde woman shouted, startling her former teammate who was perched in a tree. With a thud and slight yelp, the man fell off his branch and landed right in front of her.

"Give me one good reason I shouldn't crush you where you lay," Tsunade threatened, heel raised high to slam down on Jiraiya.

The white-haired shinobi spoke out quickly, "Because I was looking at you." The unexpected answer stopped the descent of her foot. "What?"

Jiraiya stood up from the ground slowly, dusting himself off.

"I was looking at you," he repeated, staring into her amber eyes. "Y-You baka! I bet you were only looking at a certain part!" Tsunade spluttered, raising a fist to punch her teammate.

"Yes," he agreed quietly. "A certain part, but not the one you're thinking of."

Again the answer stilled her body, preventing her from wreaking pain upon the toad hermit. "Which part then?"

"You're face," he told her quietly, searching it with his eyes. "Your hair, your eyes, your nose, and your mouth. Your cheeks, your eyelashes, each and every part perfect."

An uncharacteristic blush spread over Tsunade's face, making her even cuter in Jiraiya's opinion. "Stay perfect, hime," he told her almost inaudibly, and pressed a kiss to her forehead before walking away.

Tsunade stood in the middle of that deserted street for a long time, just remembering the moment


	2. A Former Teammate

A Former Teammate

Orochimaru had been dissapearing for days, being nigh unfindable by his two teammates who simply wanted to talk and catch up. They had been growing apart for years, but sometimes Jiraiya and Tsunade just wanted to go back to the good old days when Team 7 was close and known as the best. Sure, now they were known as the Sannin, but it wasn't the same.

The two were walking along a street close to the Hokage tower, when their sensei, Hiruzen, came rushing out, a squad of ANBU behind him. "Sensei! What's wrong?" Tsunade called as he ran past, but received no response.

She looked over at Jiraiya who just shrugged, before motioning with his head to follow their sensei. It was easy to keep up with the ANBU, but they soon took to the sewers to Tsunade's disgust. She followed doggedly anyway, keeping her eyes firmly on Jiraiya's broad back in front of her.

When the ANBU and Hokage came to a halt in front of a door, the two teammates hid themselves quickly so as not to be spotted.

Hiruzen busted down the door, revealing their third teammate, Orochimaru in the hidden room. They exchanged harsh words, before Orochimaru rushed out, leaving their sensei stunned in his wake. None of the ANBU gave chase, apparently waiting on orders, and the snake shinobi made his way straight towards Tsunade and Jiraiya's hiding place.

"So you were watching," he sneered, nearing his teammates. "How much did you hear?"

"Nothing," Jiraiya responded, perplexed. "Orochimaru, what's going on?"

"Sensei confronted me," the sannin replied coldly, his eyes boring into those of the two. "I've been conducting illegal experiments on children, and he found me out. I'm leaving Konoha."

"What! Why would you do such a thing?" Tsunade cried, not understanding her teammate's motives.

"I want to become more powerful!" he hissed, grabbing hold of her hair before either she or Jiraiya could stop him. "And those genes that you carry, those of the moukton, they have never been replicated! So I went to your grandfather's grave and stole his body, cut it up into little pieces and took its genetic material."

Tsunade recoiled as if slapped in the face. Her grandfather's precious body had been butchered by someone she had once considered a friend, someone close to her heart. After all of the heartbreak she had gone through, all of the pain, this was yet another blow, and it almost decimated her. Jiraiya's face turned livid, and in a swift movement he made to punch his former teammate; but Orochimaru was too fast and slithered out of reach.

"Think of it, hime," he spat. "Your grandfather's body no longer exists. Not even the tiniest bit survives!" with that he quickly whipped around and ran out of the sewers, and probably Konoha.

Tears poured down Tsunade's face; she couldn't control them, nor did she want to. The very last piece of her family, besides their residence and her necklace, had been maliciously destroyed by someone who knew exactly what it meant to her. Dimly she felt Jiraiya's arms encircle her and pull her close to his muscular chest, letting her soak his shirt with tears.

"Shhhh, shhh hime," he soothed, rocking back and forth slowly. "It will be okay, I promise."

"How?" she sobbed, unable to catch her breath through all of the tears. "My last link to him is gone!"

She felt a gentle finger beneath her chin tip her head up, and her watering eyes looked into Jiraiya's obsidian black ones. "I promise it will be okay. He said he put the genetic material into babies, right? If one of them survives, they will essentially be your family. You will have someone related to you by genes, if not by blood."

Tsunade sniffed slightly, considering his point. "I guess you're right," she conceded softly. "But, he knew! He knew what it meant, and he did it anyway!"

Again he pulled her face into his shoulder as the tears started afresh. "We'll get him for that, I swear to you, hime," he whispered quietly in her ear. "I promise you."


	3. Ewww, Cooties!

Ewww, Cooties!

"Oi, flat-chest Tsunade!" From afar the blonde girl heard the title, and immediately spun around, seeking the only perpetrator who dared to call her that, Jiraiya. The white haired boy was jogging towards her, a hand raised high in greeting. She waved back, deciding to deceive him long enough to get his defenses down so she could torture him fully.

"What's up, baka?" she asked him as he drew close, keeping both hands locked firmly behind her back.

"You aren't going to punch me?" the nine year old asked, confused. Always before when he had insulted his teammate he had received a quick punch to the face.

"Nope! This time I've decided to prove you wrong!" Tsunade proclaimed, her ponytail bouncing slightly. "To prove my chest is NOT flat, I'm going to measure mine, and then measure yours. If mine's is larger, you have to promise not to call me that ever again!"

"Fine!" Jiraiya agreed happily, bouncing up and down. "And if I win you have to promise never to punch me again except in sparring!"

"Deal!" Tsunade told him, holding out her hand to shake. He took it, pumping it up and down. "Now let's go find a tape measure!"

After a few minutes of searching, the two children found one in Tsunade's mother's room, next to her sewing materials. "Here goes!" Tsunade said, and wrapped the tape measure around her chest. "43cm!" she proclaimed, showing Jiraiya the proof.

"Do me, do me!" he cried impatiently, bouncing up and down, white hair jiggling with him. "I'm going to win!"

"Yeah right," Tsunade snorted as she wrapped the measure around his chest. Reading the number she grinned. "Hah! It's only 40cm! That means I win and you can't call me that ever again!"

"You cheated!" the boy yelled, pointing an accusing finger. "You inflated your chest, I know you did!" Tsunade's eyebrow twitched. "I didn't cheat! I bet you tried to!" she cried back, sticking her face close to Jiraiya's. "There's no way a skinny boy like you could have that big a chest!"

Jiraiya pushed even closer to her, so their foreheads and noses were touching. "I didn't cheat, I would never! It's all your fault!"

Just then the door opened behind Jiraiya, and Tsunade's mother entered, trying to see what all the commotion was about. But the door bumped the boy and pushed him closer to Tsunade, just close enough that their lips touched for a second. Almost immediately the two broke apart, both screaming "EWWWWW!" and scrubbing at their mouths. "That was YOUR FAULT!" the two nine-year-olds cried in unison, pointing at the other perpetrator. "NO, YOURS!"

Tsunade's mother watched, entertained. "It was mine, she finally said, placing a hand on each of their backs. "Now go and play outside."


	4. Its Expected

It's EXPECTED

Tsunade sat in the academy, very bored. It was history class, the more boring lesson in the whole academy's routine. She already knew everything from the discussions around the dinner table at home, and so she could pretty much sleep through anything the teacher taught.

Out of nowhere, a ball of wadded up paper hit her head. Tsunade shot up, irritated beyond words. However, she couldn't just scream out, "Who did it," and so looked around for the perpetrator. She didn't have to look far; the only white haired boy in the class, Jiraiya, was snickering behind his hands, looking gleefully at her. She flipped him off, something a six year old shouldn't know, but she didn't care. It was enjoyable to watch his face turn from shock to fury. Sticking out her tongue, she turned back around, and zoned out the teacher again.

Another paper ball hit her in the head. This time she spun around fully and glared daggers at the now laughing boy.

"Tsunade-hime, Jiraiya-san," the teacher called strictly. "If you are unable to maintain the decorum required in the classroom you can go wait in the hall."

Both students stood up; Tsunade sullenly, and Jiraiya cheerfully. When they made it out to the hall, Jiraiya tapped Tsunade on the shoulder. "So, what's up?" he asked obliviously.

"What's up!" she shrieked, irritated. "You got me kicked out at class all because you couldn't stop from hitting me with PAPER BALLS!"

The boy recoiled slightly, shrinking in the face of Tsunade's wrath. "It's not my fault!" he whined. "History is so boring!"

"I have to pass with perfect grades!" Tsunade yelled at him. "It's EXPECTED of me! And if you go getting me kicked out of class I can't do that!"

"But you sleep through history anyway," Jiraiya retorted angrily. "T-T-That doesn't matter!" Tsunade spluttered. "If I get kicked out of class and ojii-sama finds out!"

She trailed off, not even voicing what unspeakable things would be done to her. "Well thats your problem!" Jiraiya stuck his tongue out at her.

In a quick move, Tsunade's fist shot out and hit Jiraiya hard in the eye.

"Owwww!" The boy staggered back, nursing his already brusing eye. "What did you do that for!"

"Becuase you were being stupid," Tsunade replied primly, blowing off her knuckles. "And you deserved it."

"Sureee," he pouted. "You just wanted to hit me cause you're attracted to me!"

Before Tsunade could give him a matching black eye, the door opened. "You two can come back in now," the teacher announced. With another death glare at Jiraiya, Tsunade turned on her heel and followed the teacher back into the classroom. _Baka._


	5. To Be a Pedo?

This is an OroTen ficlet by order of CarlaFox1997, so you can blame her ;) I tried to make it as non-pedo as I could, but there being that age difference and it being Orochimaru...yeah. I'm not sure how good it is as the TV was on while I wrote it.

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To Be a...Pedo?

Tenten was practicing her weapons in training field 8 when it happened. A ripple went through the ground. She looked around warily; she could feel the chakra running through the earth. When she felt a person rise up behind her she spun around quickly and yanked on some of the ninja wire in her hand; it was attached to weapons she had thrown into the target. To her surprise, she heard the weapons deflected easily.

When Tenten turned around she saw a boy, about age 14 like herself, with long black hair and purple shadows around his eyes. He also had a Konoha hitai-ate. "Who are you?" she asked, holding a kunai out in front of her as protection.

"Just another genin," he responded lightly. "I graduated early. You are Tenten, the weapons mistress of team 9, correct?"

His knowledge of her made Tenten even more wary. "How do you know this?" she asked him, moving slowly sideways towards the exit of the training field.

"I know all the genin in Konoha," he answered cryptically. "But you are the one who most intrigues me."

His words stopped her in her tracks. "What do you mean, I intrigue you?"

"You're put on a team with a genius of hard work, a genius of brains, and a sensei who is a taijutsu specialist. And yet you hold your own and keep up with them perfectly. You intrigue me," he replied, moving closer to her. "Despite being surrounded by males, you also manage to retain some feminism among all of your tomboyishness."

He was almost too close, his face right next to hers. Almost against her will Tenten's breath quickened, something she was sure he could feel.

"But...I have to. It's my nindo," she said quietly; his ear was right next to her mouth.

"I know, and that is what I like about you," he replied just as quietly. Okay. That was just too creepy for her. Tenten backed away, and quickly ran away from the training ground.

"Kukukukuku," the boy grinned maliciously, his shape morphing into that of a taller man, and a line appearing through his hitai-ate. "You are very interesting, weapons mistress of Konoha," Orochimaru chuckled.


	6. Memories

This is my longest drabble - I honestly didn't expect it to be that long. Anyway, it was inspired by Kaiser969 who wanted me to write a drabble about Tsunade in her coma and all her regrets.

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Memories

"Where am I?" Tsunade looked around at the green hill she was sitting on. "How did I get here?" The last thing she remembered was ordering Katsuyu to split up and channeling her chakra through the slugs to heal all of the villagers injured in the attack. "There are no green hills left in Konoha."

"We're in Konoha, silly," came a voice from her right. Tsunade turned her head and saw a mini-Jiraiya, in all his glory, at age ten. "Jiraiya!" she exclaimed in shock and not a little astonishment. "But - you're dead!"

The sad expression on his face didn't fit his ten year old body. "Maybe out there I am," he told her quietly. "But in here, in your mind, I'm however you imagine me to be."

"In my mind?" the blonde stuttered, completely confused. "But I was reviving the villagers."

"You collapsed from _chakra_ exhaustion," Jiraiya replied, lying back on the hill. "You saved as many villagers as you could and then slipped into this coma. Here in your mind you are safe; you can relive any memory you wish to."

As soon as he said that, Tsunade's brain snapped back to the conversation they had right before he left on his suicide mission. She was sitting on a bench and Jiraiya was sitting next to her. But it was as though he was frozen in time. _There was so much I should have told him,_ she thought sadly, studying his profile with her eyes.

"Then tell him now," came a voice from behind her. Turning around, she saw the same ten year old Jiraiya standing behind her. "Tell him out loud exactly what you wanted to say back then."

"What?" she asked skeptically. "Talk to myself? That's all he is now."

"But it would give you peace," he retorted, unperturbed. "Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

"Fine," Tsunade huffed, turning back to the larger Jiraiya. She opened her mouth and paused, feeling foolish. Talking to yourself was usually the first sign of craziness.

"I-I'm sorry," she began uncertainly. "I keep pushing you away and rejecting you, but really...really..." she trailed off and turned to the child behind her. "I can't do it!"

"Then you're still in denial," he told her harshly. "Let go of it, and reach inside to what your true feelings are. Otherwise you will only hold yourself back." He pointed back to his larger counterpart. "Try it again."

This time, Tsunade paused to think about exactly what she had wanted to tell him before opening her mouth. "I'm sorry," she began again, this time with confidence. "I should have told you long ago that I loved you, back when we were teenagers even. Every time we were broken up on missions it hurt me inside, and when you stayed back in Ame it was almost unbearable. But I kept pushing you away, trying to protect myself. When I dated Dan, I saw him as another facet of you, not as himself.

"And then when he died, and I left - " her breath caught. "It was too painful to stay. It was almost as though I saw you dying all over again. But I couldn't bear to be away from you, couldn't bear all of the death - I lost myself in drink. But I never stopped loving you. And when you came to fetch me to be the _Hokage_, part of me was glad. Glad that I would be able to be near you all the time again, glad I would be back in Konoha, despite how much it had hurt me. And you brought me Naruto, who was so much like Nawaki - it was almost as though we were back in time again."

Behind her back, she couldn't see the smaller Jiraiya nodding, knowing she was expressing her heart.

"I miss you so much. I've always missed you, and always loved you, you silly _baka." _

Slowly the ten year old Jiraiya walked forward glowing slightly. The closer he got to his larger counterpart, the brighter he glowed, until he merged with the adult. Jiraiya became unfrozen, turning to look at Tsunade.

"Thank you," he said softly, "for finally telling me." He leaned forward and placed an infinitely gentle kiss on her lips, cradling her face with his hands. Tsunade closed her eyes, delighting in the feel despite it all being in her mind. It was exactly as she had imagined it to be.

"I love you, and always will," Jiraiya whispered quietly as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. Tsunade simply smiled. They remained like that in her mind until she was finally awoken from her coma.


	7. I Couldn't Let Him Hurt Her

I Couldn't Let Him Hurt Her

Tsunade wiggled her hands, trying to loosen the wire trapped around them. "Let me go, you bastard!" she spat at the snake man who was lounging against a tree with s smirk on his face.

"But you are so entertaining, Tsunade-chan," the man cackled. "And oh so pretty when you are angry."

Tsunade lashed out with her feet, despite the fact they were still bound, but the man simply stepped out of reach, tutting at her. "Attacking me will only make things worse for you in the long run, Tsunade-chan. Just accept that you are my prisoner and things will go much more smoothly."

"Never!" she yelled at Orochimaru, thrashing against her bonds. "You'll never be able to keep me!"

"Oh, but Tsunade-chan, you were always the weakest of us. What makes you think you can escape?" Orochimaru taunted her, stepping slightly closer while playing with a _kunai_.

"The fact that I'm here," came a voice from the other side of the trees. Jiraiya stepped out, glaring daggers at his former teammate.

"I don't need your help, Jiraiya!" Tsunade yelled at him. "I can get out just fine on my own!" She pumped _chakra_ through her limbs until she was able to snap the ninja wire around her wrists and ankles with ease. Slowly the blonde woman stood up, rubbing the affected areas to get blood circulation flowing again.

"Oh and I suppose you are the knight in shining armor, Jiraiya?" Orochimaru bit out, staring at his white-haired teammate with hatred.

"No," he replied with just as much heat in his tone. "I'm here in-case she needs back-up." He saw the grateful look Tsunade flashed him, even if she thought it was too quick to see.

"_Kuchiyose no jutsu," _all three of the _Sannin _cried as if on some predetermined signal. With huge bursts of smoke the three main bosses of their respective summons, the slug, snake, and toad, appeared.

"Orochimaru!" Manda roared as soon as he appeared. "Where are my sacrifices! Without them I will not battle!"

"Jiraiya, what's going on?" Gamabunta asked loudly. "Why have you summoned me in the middle of this forest?"

"Tsunade-_sama_," Katsuyu whispered. "You are hurt."

"It's nothing, Katsuyu," Tsunade reassured her summon. "I can move fine."

"Until you have my sacrifices ready and waiting, I will not fight!" Manda yelled at Orochimaru, before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

"Ohhh, Orochimaru," Gamabunta glared at the snake man. "Jiraiya, I will crush him for you!"

"I will help as well, Tsunade-_sama_," Katsuyu added quietly, "because he hurt you."

"I won't be sticking around long enough to fight, kukuku," Orochimaru informed them, melding slowly down into the earth. "But some day, we will fight again and I will master both of you!"

"You won't get away, traitor!" Tsunade screamed, punching the ground with a fist charged with _chakra_. But the cracks revealed no Orochimaru. "He escaped!" Again she hit the ground, this time in anger.

"I'm just glad you are okay, _hime_," Jiraiya told her quietly, coming up behind Tsunade.

"He got me only because of Shizune," she told him, her voice trembling. "I had to go with him, I couldn't let him hurt her."

Without a word, Jiraiya opened his arms, and the blonde woman slowly leaned into his hold. "I couldn't let him hurt her…" she repeated quietly, trailing off to bury her face in his chest.


	8. Its Just Business and Money

Feel free to blame CarlaFox1997 for this one as well. I bet almost all of these will come from dares...

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Its Just Business and Money

"Who are you?" The question froze Kakuzu in his tracks. He had made sure every inhabitant of the mansion was asleep under a genjutsu before entering to steal some of the copious fortune of the Senju Clan. He looked to the side only to be confronted by the sight of a young girl, maybe aged three or four, standing in the doorway rubbing at her eyes.

"I'm just a Konoha shinobi," he replied carefully, the stitches holding his mouth together moving with every word he spoke. "Go back to bed."

"I don't recognize you," she said suspiciously, then yawned, her eyes squinting closed as her mouth opened wide.

"I was on a long term mission," he replied quickly. "I've been gone for five years. I was just going to go see Hokage-sama."

"Okay then," she replied trustingly, and waved at him. "Gnight..."

* * *

Fifty years later he was a missing nin, and it was her mission to take him out. There were no pictures of him in the bingo book, only a description. But when she saw him, she knew immediately. "YOU!"

"Ah, if it isn't that little girl from all those years ago," Kakuzu commented as he eyed her lithe form. "You're all grown up. And the Fifth Hokage I hear. You've certainly done great things since then."

"You stole from us! You stole part of our family fortune!" Tsunade yelled, flying forward a fist raised to punch.

"Its just business and money," he replied nonchalantly. "Pleasure doing business with you as well, but I must run. This corpse has an expiration date on it, and I must get my money before it goes bad." He patted the body slung over his shoulder.

He began leaping away, Tsunade poised to follow until she found she couldn't jump. Black threads had sprung out of the earth, wrapping themselves around her ankles, and no matter what she tried, they wouldn't come free.

"Don't worry!" he called back over his shoulder. "They'll let go after I know you can't follow me. I have no intention of killing you yet - I will wait until your value increases even more."

"Kuuso!" Tsunade growled, tugging at the bonds restraining her movement. "I won't let you kill me!" she yelled. "You will die first!"


	9. Dysfunctional Family

This idea came from Kaiser969, so you can thank him for it!

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Dysfunctional Family

"Tsunade-_baachan_!" Naruto shouted as he barged into the Fifth _Hokage's _office. "Save me!" He ran behind her chair and crouched down, hunkering to stay out of view of the door.

"Naruto, what – " Tsunade began in confusion, wondering who or what Naruto was hiding from.

The door burst open again, and this time Jiraiya pushed his way into Tsunade's office. Her eyebrow twitched. Two unexpected visitors just running into her office was _not_ on her 'things I want to happen' list.

"Tsunade, has Naruto come through here?" Jiraiya panted, bracing his hands on his knees. "I've been chasing him all around Konoha!"

The _Godaime_ was torn between ratting out Naruto behind her, and foiling Jiraiya. On the one hand, Naruto might just be trying to mess with both her and Jiraiya, but on the other it was quite possible Jiraiya was trying to teach him something perverted.

"Why are you looking for him?" she asked cautiously, resting her hands on her desk.

The Toad Sage ran a hand over his spiky hair. "Because he decided if he had a dysfunctional family, you would be the mother and I the father!"

Tsunade froze in shock. While she cared deeply for Naruto, for him to consider her his mother at all was…surprising, to say the least. And even more so that he would consider Jiraiya the father. Hold on a moment…

"_Dysfunctional!"_ she shrieked, quickly reaching behind her chair and pulling Naruto out by the back of his bright orange jumpsuit. The twelve year old grinned sheepishly and rubbed at the back of his head. "_Gaki_, you had better have a good explanation for this!"

"Tsunade-_baachan…_" he started, avoiding her eyes for fear of seeing her anger.

"Yeah, tell her, Naruto," Jiraiya stated, leaning back against the wall and crossing his arms.

"Well, I was thinking, _Ero-sennin _is kind of like my dad, cause he's been teaching me all these _jutsu_ and looking after me and stuff…and you're kind of like my mom cause you look out for me and make sure I eat right and everything…" he said all in one breath, than took a large gasp to continue, "and you two used to be teammates and know each other really well, but Tsunade-_baachan_ beats up _Ero-sennin_ all the time, and _Ero-sennin_ is a huge pervert, so it's kind of dysfunctional!" He finished with a cheerful grin on his face and a thumb up in the direction of each adult.

Jiraiya's hand came up with a loud _smack_ and hit his face, covering it from view. But Tsunade could see through his deception; his shoulders were shaking with repressed mirth.

With a sigh, she lowered Naruto to the ground. As much as she wanted to be like his mother, she felt as though she didn't deserve it for all she had done before. _I was unable to protect Nawaki and Dan, what makes me think I can protect Naruto?_

Jiraiya recognized the look on Tsunade's face, and told Naruto, "Run along now, _gaki_. Go buy yourself some ramen." He pressed some _ryou_ notes into Naruto's hands.

"_Yatta!"_ the boy shouted and took of out of the office.

"Tsunade-_hime?_" Jiraiya asked softly, moving forward slowly.

She turned away from him, staring out the large window behind her desk. "That made me…really happy to hear," she confessed to him, hugging herself lightly. "That he would consider me like that…even with you being the 'father'." The _Hokage_ let out a rippling laugh. "Is that why you were chasing him?"

"Heh, maybe," he replied laughing as well. "But only because he paired my up with such a beautiful woman, I thought he must have been making a joke out of it."

He missed the blush that spread over her cheeks upon hearing his compliment. "Go chase him down again then, _baka,_" she told him fondly. "I'm sure he hasn't changed his mind yet."

After Jiraiya had left the office she stood staring out the window, still hugging herself. _Thank you Naruto._


	10. To Catch a Demon Cat

So you can thank Dagomon for this idea...he wanted a funny young Kakashi Team 7 mission =) And what is funnier than Tora?

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To Catch a Demon Cat

"The target is approaching the capture zone," came a whisper over the mic. "Masked, are you in position?"

"Affirmative, healer," another voice said. "Goggles?"

"Why am I called Goggles? Why not Red-Eye?" was the irritated response.

"Just answer the question," replied the one called Masked.

"Yeah, yeah," the boy Goggles muttered under his breath. "Just because you're 'better'…"

"Shut up both of you," Healer berated the two boys. "Or I'll come over there and hit you both, cat or not cat!"

"The target has discovered the bait," Masked reported, peering out from his position high in the foliage of a large tree. "Goggles, now!"

With a yowl, the target, a black cat with a pink ribbon on its left ear, was swooped up in a net to dangle from a branch in the same tree as Masked. It flailed around with its claws, trying to cut through the ropes to no avail.

"Target has been neutralized," Masked reported into his headset. "Healer, Goggles, gather at the capture site."

From a bush on the other side of the clearing from the tree, a boy appeared. He had orange lensed goggles and jet black hair that was in disarray.

"I still don't see why I couldn't be Red-Eye, Kakashi," he complained to the other boy, who had left his tree. 'Kakashi' was wearing a dark blue mask, explaining his name, and had gravity defying silver hair, as well as a _chuunin_ vest over a tight blue sleeveless shirt.

"Because you don't have the _sharingan_ yet, obviously," Kakashi dismissed his companion. "Where's Rin? We need her to confirm the target."

"I'm right here, Kakashi, Obito." A girl entered the clearing as well. She had mousy brown hair and purple triangular markings on each cheek.

"Is this the target?" Kakashi asked curtly, gesturing up to the still yowling cat.

"Black fur, pink bow on left ear, yes, it's Tora," Rin confirmed. "Obito, if you would?" She gestured to the net.

"Sure, Rin-_chan_!" The goggled boy leapt forward to cut the net down, and caught the cat as it fell. "_Itai!_"

The cat had whipped out with all four paws and clawed marks all over Obito's face before racing off once more.

Rin sighed. "Kakashi, go fetch it while I tend to Obito." The goggled boy was rolling around on the ground clutching at his face and screaming "_Itai, itai, itai!"_

Kakashi took off without a word after the cat, and promptly returned holding it away from himself by the scruff of its neck. "Let's just turn this cursed thing in for the reward already," he said in disgust, eyeing the furious feline.

* * *

The three children stood in front of the _Hokage's_ desk, watching with varied expressions as a rather large lady practically molested her cat. "Tora-_chan! _Don't you ever run away from me again, sweetie! Mommy was so worried!"

Kakashi's face had an expression of mild disgust on it, Rin's held pity for the poor feline, but Obito's…his face showed unrestrained glee as he watched the cat desperately attempt to escape its owner.

"How is it that she can hold onto the thing with no problems, but it took us three hours to catch the demon?" he whispered to Rin next to him.

"Who knows," she whispered back, eyeing the struggling cat. "Maybe she has some sort of _jutsu_ on her."

"Here is you reward, sweetums!" the woman told Kakashi cheerfully, handing him a very full bag of gold. Kakashi's eye twitched at being called 'sweetums', but he didn't respond. The woman was the wife of the Fire _Daimyo_, and he couldn't afford to piss her off.

"Thank you _madamu_," he said with a deep bow to the woman. Obito and Rin bowed as well as the woman left the office, still hugging her struggling cat.


	11. A Drunken Confession

CarlaFox1997 prompted me with this, and I ran with it. Some sad things have been happening today as well, so I kind of used this as an outlet for my emotions.

* * *

A Drunken Confession

"Paperwork!" Tsunade said it like the curse it was. An unending pile of paper that grew every night she left it alone. And today it was the worst time to suffer through such agony.

"Shizune, where is my _sake_?" she yelled for her assistant. Her secret stash was gone, but she wasn't sure whether it was because she had drunk it all or Shizune had 'confiscated' it.

"I took it away, Tsunade-_sama_," Shizune said, coming through the door at that moment, her hands mercifully empty of that bane known as paperwork.

"What, no more work for a toiling _Hokage?_" Tsunade asked sarcastically, not in the mood to exchange niceties.

"No Tsunade-_sama_," her assistant told her quietly, bowing her head slightly. "I finished it all. You are free to go."

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Tsunade stood up quickly from her desk and made her way towards the door. As she passed her assistant, she whispered a soft "Thank you Shizune."

She wasted no time in making her way to her favorite bar, with all intents of getting drunk. The _Hokage_ had no desire to remember the rest of the night.

"Two _sake_ bottles and keep them coming," she told the bartender, and retired to a table deep in the corner.

"You know, I didn't expect you to start so early in the day, or Shizune to let you," came a voice from the seat across from her.

"Save it Jiraiya," Tsunade snapped, grabbing the first _sake_ bottle and chugging straight from the mouth. "I'm not in the mood, and it's not the time."

He grabbed the second bottle before she could drink it all as well. "Getting drunk won't solve the problems, Tsunade," he told her seriously, leaving off the _hime_ he always put after her name.

"No, but it will help them go away all the faster," she retorted, snatching the bottle out of his hand and drinking half of it.

"It won't bring them back, _hime_." The Toad Sage looked directly into her eyes and read the sad truth in them – she knew they weren't coming back, but she couldn't think of any better way to forget the pain for a little while.

It was Nawaki's birthday. He would have been a strong man by now, all grown up and tall, maybe losing that baby fat. But he would never have the chance. And every year on his birthday, Tsunade drowned her sorrows in _sake_, waiting for the next morning to come. The alcohol took her problems with it, if only for a little while, but Tsunade would take whatever reprieve it gave her.

Fifteen bottles of _sake_ between the two later, and Tsunade was flat out drunk. Jiraiya was oddly sober; she wasn't to know he wasn't actually drinking any of the _sake_ she plied him with. Someone had to protect his _hime_.

"Let's go outside," the _Hokage_ decided suddenly, standing up and walking out of the bar. It had already been decided between Jiraiya and the barkeep to let Tsunade have her _sake_ on the house; the man had been one of the few around when Tsunade had lost her brother.

He led her to their hill, where they had lain to look at the stars all those years ago as children. They were quiet for a time, until…

"You know I love you, right Jiraiya?" Tsunade said suddenly, turning to look at the man lying beside her.

"I know _hime_," he told her quietly, still gazing up at the stars.

"Not as a brother," she continued doggedly. "I'm in love with you."

"I know _hime_," he repeated, this time turning his head to stare into her eyes.

"I didn't get a chance to tell him." Tears rolled down her cheeks. "I wasn't able to tell him I loved him. Don't die on me, you promise?"

"I promise _hime_," he answered softly, reaching out a hand and stroking some tendrils of hair back from her face."

Her hand came up and clasped his for a moment before relaxing into sleep; the sleep of someone who wanted to forget everything.

"You won't remember this _hime_, but I know you're in love with me, and I'm in love with you too."


	12. Candy Brothers

My friend Helen gave me a location and three words - Candy Store, crystal, tangerine, and cobblestones. Enjoy!

* * *

Candy Brothers

"_Nee-san_, I want candy!" Gaara tugged at his older sister's hand. She was only five to his two, but Temari was already very responsible with money and used to looking after her brother. "You promised you promised you promised!"

"Fine, Gaara," the blonde girl sighed, pulling out some _ryou _notes. "The candy store is right there." She pointed to one of the buildings made of sand with the _kanji_ for candy on the front.

"Yay!" the little boy screamed and made a beeline straight for the store across the cobblestones.

"Gaara! Watch – out…" her warning trailed off as her brother was bowled over by someone coming out of the store. However the boy seemed to just brush it off and get up, continuing on his quest for candy.

By the time Temari entered the store, her _otouto_ had already headed for his favorite sweet, rock candy. The clear crystals could be flavored to any the customer desired, including Gaara's absolute favorite of tangerine.

"_Nee-san, nee-san, _I want one!" the boy jumped up and down in front of the jar holding the candy.

"Fine," she sighed reaching in and grabbing a handful. "But you can only have them after dinner!"

"Thanks _nee-san_, you're the best!" Gaara ran off to the front counter to wait for his sister to arrive to pay for his candy.

"That will be five hundred _ryou_," the shopkeeper told her, bored, holding out his hand for the money. Temari handed it over quickly, and took the candy back, placing them in her pocket securely.

"C'mon, Gaara, let's go," she told her brother, holding her hand out for him to grab. But he wasn't there. "Gaara?"

Her pocket felt light…quickly checking it she saw the rock candy she had _just_ put in it was gone. "GAARA!"


	13. Is It Edible?

So...this one is another product of random words! I was given Kitchen, river, broom, tablecloth. Enjoy!

* * *

Is It Edible?

"_Sensei,_ why do I have to do this?" Tsunade whined as she stood in front of the counter.

"Because you need to know how to prepare your own food at all times," Sarutobi responded blandly. "And if you have no rations on hand you will end up starving if you cannot cook using any materials on hand." He waved his own hand at the row of ingredients.

"Haha, Tsunade has to cook!" Jiraiya gloated from his position at the table next to a quiet Orochimaru. "I bet it won't be edible!"

Tsunade sent a death-laden glare at him, but Sarutobi beat her to the punch. "You had better hope she is able to cook well, Jiraiya-_kun_," he said enigmatically, "for you will be the one taste-testing her food."

Immediately his expression changed from outright glee to desperate horror. "What! But _sensei!_"

"As her teammates it is the least you can do," he told the boy, hiding a smile behind his hand.

"Haha Jiraiya-_baka_!" Now it was Tsunade's turn to gloat.

"Try not to make it to inedible, Tsunade-_chan_," Sarutobi cautioned her. "After all, a visit to the hospital would derail our training plans. You have thirty minutes, begin!"

"Eat up!" Tsunade announced, placing a steaming plate in the middle of the tablecloth. Jiraiya poked at it with a chopstick, wary of getting any closer to the food.

"Are you sure this is edible?" he questioned, casting a sidelong glance at the girl. Half a second later he was clutching his head, bent over the table courtesy of a quick blow from the questioned cook.

"Just eat it, _baka_," came Orochimaru's soft voice from next to the cowering boy. "Otherwise you'll just cause yourself more pain."

"Why don't you eat it then?" Jiraiya was generosity itself, offering his teammate the plate.

He was rewarded with a scathing glance. "You brought this upon yourself."

Jiraiya's chopsticks tentatively reached out and grasped one of the morsels on the plate. They shook as he brought it up to his mouth and he popped it in.

Almost as soon as it touched his tongue Jiraiya was bolting for the door, and Tsunade grabbed a broom and chased after him. "_It wasn't that bad! Get back here you baka!"_

The white-haired boy made a quick dash for the river, running across its surface to escape his wrathful teammate.

"That won't save you!" she screamed, slamming a fist filled with _chakra_ down into the water. The _chakra _pulsing through the water disrupted Jiraiya's own _chakra_, and he fell into the freezing river.

"That will teach you to insult my cooking!" Tsunade huffed and turned to go back into the house.

"It…wasn't that bad," Jiraiya moaned as he pulled himself out a few seconds later.

"You should have told her that up front," Orochimaru told him sagely as he watched his teammate suffer. "You know how she gets."


	14. Drunken Teammates

This was courtesy of Kaiser969...I really need to get more dares from Carla to pump some more out!

* * *

Drunken Teammates

"Two bottles of _sake_ please!" Jiraiya walked right up to the bartender, his hand outstretched and a smile on his face.

"Aren't you a bit…young…to be drinking?" the man asked, eying the teenager skeptically. With the red streaks beneath is eyes and wild white hair, Jiraiya didn't look like he was over fifteen or so.

"Nope!" the boy replied cheerfully. "I'm a sixteen year old _shinobi_, I'm perfectly legal!" He flashed his _hitai-ate_ at the man, and grabbed the bottles reluctantly proffered. "Thanks!"

"Here ya go, Tsunade!" he announced, plopping one of the two bottles on the table in front of his blonde teammate. "Drink up!"

Without a word, the girl grabbed the _sake_ and upended it, drinking quickly.

"Woah, woah, slow down!" the white-haired boy cautioned. "It's your first time getting drunk; you don't know what your tolerance level is!"

"Screw tolerance!" Tsunade exclaimed, slamming the bottle down on the table with a contented sigh. "I'm getting as drunk as I want as fast as I want!" Her cheeks were already beginning to flush.

"Okay, okay," Jiraiya quickly backed off, waving his hands in front of his torso and taking a seat. He had no idea how a drunk Tsunade would react to anything he said, and playing around with her monstrous strength was just asking for pain.

"So…" he started, the faltered, unsure what to say. Finally he just decided not to talk. Tsunade wasn't quite listening anyway, immersed in her _sake_.

Eventually she finished the bottle, and sat back in the booth with a contented sigh.

"Um…" Jiraiya began, blushing slightly. Her action had caused her shirt to open slightly, revealing more that he thought she wanted exposed. While he did like being a pervert, having even thoughts of such towards his female teammate would cause instant pain for him. "Your shirt…"

"My what?" she asked, not quite understanding. Quickly following his gaze, she saw exactly what his eyes were fixated on. "_PERVERT!" _she screamed, a fist shooting out to hit the poor boy in the chest. Normally she wouldn't react to simply that, but she was drunk, and apparently a very violent one.

"I-I-I wasn't looking!" he swiftly defended himself, but it was too late. As Tsunade approached him, fist raised to deal out justice, he broke and ran.

"_Get back here coward!_" came a shriek from behind Jiraiya, and he could almost feel the earth pounding from her chasing him.

_Gotta hide, gotta hide, gotta hide!_ was the mantra running through his head as he fled the streets of Konoha. _There!_ The boy turned into a dark alley, quickly masking his _chakra_ and breathing. Tsunade stormed past, screaming "_Jiraiya!"_ fist prepared to punch.

"Good, she's gone," Jiraiya whispered to himself as he heard the sounds fade into the distance. "Who knew she would get that bad just because she got drunk?"

"Yes, who would have thought?" came a voice from deeper in the alley.

_Oh shit._ The white-haired boy slowly turned around, staring fearfully at the person now emerging from the shadows.

"Prepare yourself," Tsunade ground out, grabbing Jiraiya's tunic before he could run away.

"I'm sorry!"


	15. Resemblances

So this was a dare from a reader, Ella Unlimited. I took it and made a drabble =) Any other readers want to see a certain drabble, feel free to submit a 'dare' ;)

Hope its what you wanted!

* * *

Resemblances

Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Naruto were walking back to Konoha announce the blonde woman as the new _Hokage_.

"So, Tsunade," Jiraiya began, looking over at his former teammate, "what was your first impression of Naruto there, besides _gaki?_"

The blonde boy was running ahead of the two, far out of earshot, so Jiraiya had no worries of him overhearing the conversation.

"Hmmm." The _Hokage_-to-be placed a finger on her lips, considering Jiraiya's question. "Loud. Annoying. Strong. He has an uncanny resemblance to his father as well. And his mother…" she trailed off, getting slightly lost in memories, but snapped out of it quickly. "He has Kushina's attitude perfectly. The spitting image of his father physically, with the personality of his mother."

Jiraiya grinned at her, a twinkle in his eye. "And his skills? How are those?"

She punched him lightly in the shoulder, causing him to stumble off the path for a few seconds before regaining his balance. "Well enough, but don't go fishing for compliments! I'm sure you assigned him a task and went 'researching' every day."

He looked at her, wounded, a fake pout coming over his face. "What, you think I would just abandon my own student to his own means while going off and pleasing myself? I'm hurt, _hime_!"

"Yes, that's exactly what I think you would do!" she retorted, grinning as well.

"Well…that may be true," he conceded, "but at least I taught him an amazingly cool move that belonged to his father!"

"Yeah, at least," Tsunade mocked him, watching the boy as he ran off the path to look at something interesting in the woods. "How does that _gaki_ have so much energy and will after all he's been through?"

"Ahhh, _Sensei's_ Will of Fire," Jiraiya sighed, crossing his arms and gazing off into the distance. The pose was ruined when Tsunade hit him in the gut. "I honestly don't know. _Sensei_ didn't have excessive interaction with the boy. But if I didn't know better I would say he inherited it from his parents."

"Yeah, probably," Tsunade replied, stepping lightly over a branch on the path. "Kushina was always an upbeat spitfire of energy, and Minato could have his moments as well. Its only fitting that their kid have that from both of them.

"And what about when he yelled at you?" the Toad Hermit prompted. "What did you think of him then?"

"I thought he was being a loudmouth dumb _gaki_," she responded glibly. "Telling me what I could and couldn't do, especially about being _Hokage?_ But he was right, for all that he put it wrong. Just like Nawaki."

Not wanting to delve into the deeper subjects, she quickened her pace, moving forward to catch up to Naruto. "Hey _gaki_, enjoying the necklace?" she greeted him, ruffling his hair.

"Yeah its great, _baa-chan_!" he told her, holding up the green gem so it sparkled in the light. "I'm gonna wear it always!"

_Yup, just like Nawaki._


	16. Corruption

This was suggested by Freewolf17 =) The muses were deserting us both and she had this random brainflash. Its a bit longer than any of my other drabbles, but I had to do it the justice it deserved =D

* * *

Corruption

"Hey, Nawaki!" Jiraiya called out to Tsunade's nine year old brother, who was sitting on a bench outside the Senju compound, reading a scroll.

"Jiraiya!" the boy looked up surprised, and smiled gleefully upon seeing his sister's teammate. He liked Jiraiya much more than Orochimaru, because he was more open and brought him treats, even though Tsunade said not to.

"Whatcha reading there, bud?" the white-haired teenager asked, coming up and ruffling the Nawaki's short brown hair.

"Hey!" he protested, quickly reaching up to smooth down the unruly strands, then glared at Jiraiya. "A _jutsu_ scroll _onee-chan_ told me to learn."

"How would you like to ditch that," Jiraiya began and paused dramatically before continuing, "and learn something from the great Jiraiya?"

Nawaki hopped up off the bench, quickly setting aside said scroll. "You're going to teach me something? Really? Is it awesome, and cool, and –"

"Woah, woah, calm down there kid!" Jiraiya interrupted him. "This is a secret man mission! Only real men can appreciate what I am going to teach you. Are you a real man?"

"Yes!" Nawaki yelled, pumping his fist in the air. "Teach me, Jiraiya-_sensei_!"

"Perfect!" the teenager exclaimed, a grin spreading over his features. "Follow me!"

He led Nawaki into the main part of the village, and up to the bookstore. "This is the first stop of our mission," he explained, putting on a scholarly look. "Inside you shall find the first clue to my lesson." Jiraiya stroked at an imaginary beard before pointing into the shop. "Go in there all the way to the back. Ignore the warning signs, for they are to keep the weak-hearted out! I want you to look through two of the books cover to cover and come back to me and report what you have learned!"

"_Hai, sensei_!" Nawaki snapped a salute and ran into the store, quickly disappearing from view. Not two minutes later he returned, panting and chased by an angry shopkeeper with a broom, complaining about a 'perverted kid'.

"I did it, _sensei_!" he exclaimed proudly as he caught his breath, puffing out his chest. "But what's a pervert?"

"Nothing for you to worry about," Jiraiya was quick to reassure him, and swiftly bustled the nine year old off to their new destination.

"You know how to use the _Henge no Jutsu_, correct?" he asked the boy as they arrived in a clearing. Nawaki nodded vigorously, not taking his eyes off his idol. "Good. I want you to use the _henge_ and transform into one of the pictures you saw during your research."

"_Hai, sensei!"_ the brown haired boy cried, snapping to attention and forming the seal for the transformation _jutsu_. "_Henge!"_ he shouted as a puff of smoke surrounded his body. When it cleared he had changed into a nude brown haired girl, with long silky locks and thin arms and legs. Her face was perfectly round, and her body was shaped to any man's dream.

"Perfect! First try!" Jiraiya praised him, eyeing the body with a critical eye. "Not a single flaw! This may be easier than I expected! Do that two more times to two different pictures and we may move onto the third step of the training!"

Nawaki quickly acquiesced, transforming into first a blonde girl with pigtails, and then a raven haired beauty with cropped hair.

"My pupil, you are progressing faster than I had ever imagined," Jiraiya told him solemnly, then a huge grin spread across his face. "On to the third destination!"

He led the boy to the bathhouses, which they stopped just outside of. When Nawaki made to enter the men's side of the hot springs, he was quickly pulled back by Jiraiya's hand on his shoulder.

"No, no," the teenager told the younger boy in a knowledgeable tone. "We're going into the women's side. This is where all of your training culminates!"

"But, _sensei_," Nawaki asked, confused. "We're boys. Why would we go to the girl's side?"

"Ah, my young pupil," Jiraiya sighed, placing an understanding hand on Nawaki's shoulder. "The female form is that of perfect beauty, and therefore needs to be appreciated visually and often. How better to do so than at the women's hot springs?"

"I guess so," the boy said dubiously, but followed his _sensei_ as he approached the entrance to the women's springs.

Just as they slipped inside the door Jiraiya whispered to Nawaki, "_Henge _as I taught you, now!" With two bursts of smoke, two naked women stood in the women's changing room of the springs. "Now follow me!"

Nabbing two towels, Jiraiya led Nawaki through the maze until they entered the large spring where a few women were relaxing, eyes closed. He counted two blondes, a brunette, a pink-haired woman, and a raven.

They entered the pool next to a blonde who seemed to be sleeping, her face turned away from the males. "You see, Nawaki," Jiraiya began explaining to the boy in a whisper, this lovely lady here is a specimen of the perfect body. Large breasts, a narrow waist, and wide hips. Be sure to –"

He was cut off as the blonde turned her head and revealed herself to be none other than his teammate Tsunade, and Nawaki's sister. "Jiraiya…" she growled menacingly, glaring at the 'woman' next to her. "Exactly _what_ are you teaching my _baby brother?"_

"T-Tsunade!" the teenager squeaked out, quickly vacating the pool and backing up towards the wall. "I-I wasn't teaching him anything!"

"_Die, pervert!"_ the blonde girl screamed, swiftly raising a fist and running forward to punch the 'woman', who transformed back to Jiraiya and quickly leapt over the fence behind him. Instead of punching the boy, Tsunade ended up putting a huge hole in the wooden fence.

It would have been a perfect peeking spot for Jiraiya, but the damage had been done. Upon hearing the word pervert, all the ladies in the spring had quickly evacuated, shrieking, until only Nawaki was left, still floating in the water, perplexed as to what was going on.

"_You will die for trying to corrupt my brother, you wretched pervert!"_ Tsunade's cry of vengeance could be heard over all of Konoha.


	17. Sage Training

Kaiser969 came up with this idea, and I loved it =) So enjoy! It jumps around a bit, but I figured three shorts in one did it well

* * *

Sage Training

"Ah, Jiraiya-boy!" 'Pa' greeted the white-haired teen. "How are you?"

"Did I hear you say Jiraiya?" came Ma's curious voice from inside their little house on Mount Myoboku. "Ah, Jiraiya-_chan_!" she cried happily, coming out of the dwelling. "We were expecting you! Come come, I made you some food!"

Without giving Jiraiya a chance to speak, she pulled him by the hand inside, and sat him down in front of a table with a bowl of…worms on it.

"Uh, no thanks, I'm not that hungry," he told her hastily, eying the _moving_ food warily.

"Nonsense!" Ma said, pushing the bowl towards him. "That reverse summoning must have taken a lot out of you, eat up!"

"Just bear with it and hold your nose, Jiraiya-boy," Pa advised him quietly from his spot next to the teen. "Get it over with fast, you'll get used to it eventually."

Jiraiya nodded bleakly, and reached forward with the chopsticks set out for him, grasping one of the worms and bringing swiftly to his mouth. _Here goes nothing._ Two seconds later the worm was gone, and Jiraiya was attempting to suppress a gag.

"How is it?" Ma asked eagerly, watching for his reaction.

"It was…great!" he managed to choke out, praying she didn't try to feed him more.

* * *

"Today we shall work on your mediation," Pa explained, leading Jiraiya to a field full of tall sharp rock spikes, each with a flat rectangular stone in front of it. "Without meditation, you cannot hope to achieve sage state, as it is the crucial point to gathering nature _chakra_."

Jiraiya nodded determinedly. "What must I do?"

He didn't catch the slight smirk that passed over the toad's face. "You must balance perfectly on that rock spike while sitting cross-legged on this stone," Pa told him, picking up the rectangular piece and handing it to the teen.

"Piece of cake!" the white-haired boy said confidently, leaping up to the top of one of the spikes and landing on the rectangular stone in meditation position. It only took three seconds before he lost his balance and fell towards the ground, flailing wildly.

Pa winced from the impact Jiraiya made, and approached the crater. "Are you okay, Jiraiya-boy?" he asked worriedly, peering down.

The boy's hand shakily rose and waved at the toad. "Tsunade's punches hurt worse," he reassured his mentor before rising from the hole. "I can do this!"

* * *

"You've reached the final stage of your sage training, Jiraiya-boy," Pa told his pupil proudly. "And you've done it quite quickly. I have high hopes you will be able to achieve sage state."

Jiraiya looked back at him, just as proud of himself. He was about to try for the final stage of sage training, going into sage state.

"You must gather the nature _chakra_ and mix it in even parts with your own _chakra_. If you do not keep the two in equal balance, you will fail. Use too much nature _chakra_, and you will begin to transform into a toad," Pa cautioned him before Jiraiya's ego grew too large. "In order to control this, we are by the fountain of Mount Myoboku, which will reverse any transformation before it becomes permanent. Now, begin!"

Jiraiya concentrated, pulling in and forming all of the nature _chakra_ he could, and mixing it with his own _chakra_ in his core. He felt slight changes to his body, particularly to his face, but he had no idea what was happening.

"You did it, Jiraiya-boy!" Pa crowed, prodding the teen so his eyes opened. "Go look in the fountain!"

Jiraiya approached the fountain eagerly, wanting to see what the transformation looked like. But what he saw was _not_ what he expected. His nose was more bulbous, he had two warts on his face, and the red lines beneath his eyes had extended and broadened. His face was also squatter. He looked like a toad!

"_Pa!"_ he yelped pushing himself backwards from the pool. "What happened! I look like a _toad!_"

"That's to be expected when you haven't mastered the transformation yet," the toad responded sagely. "Hopefully it should get better, although you will always retain some physical transformation."

"I can't use this!" the boy yelled, horrified. "Tsunade would never let me live it down! I have to keep it a secret, it has to be my last resort!"

"You're concerned about what your teammate will think over the power you could achieve?" Pa asked incredulously.

"When it's Tsunade, yes!" Jiraiya retorted, plunging into the pool to change back his body.

"Very well," Pa sighed, covering his eyes briefly. "I will teach you the rest, and it will be up to you to do as you will with it."


	18. Name Him What?

So this was the first part of a three part dare given to me by Ella Unlimited =) I decided each part should be a drabble of its own, so the others should be going up over the next day or so =D Enjoy!

* * *

Name Him What?

"Sensei, I'm glad you could make it!" Minato greeted his teacher, the great Jiraiya, at the door to his home. "We've been expecting you!"

"You've been awaiting the company of the amazing Jiraiya, have you?" the white-haired man laughed, stepping over the mantel and entering the house where Minato and his wife Kushina lived.

"Yes, we've been meaning to tell you something," Minato explained, leading Jiraiya into the living room and gesturing to the table. "Sit, sit."

Both men sat, and Minato pushed a book that was lying on the table towards his _sensei_. "We've decided what to name our child," he told his teacher excitedly, gesturing to the novel.

"Oh?" Jiraiya was thrilled; they had been putting the decision off for a while until Kushina was further along. The book in front of him was his own first novel, but he had no idea what relevance that had to do with what Minato was saying.

"Yep! We've decided to name him –"

"Naruto," Kushina finished from her position in the doorway, before walking over to stand behind her husband.

"As in the fishcake?" Jiraiya asked, completely confused. "Why would you want to name your child –"

"No, _sensei_," Minato cut him off before he could finish. "As in your character, Naruto. The one in your book." He again gestured to the book on the table, and this time Jiraiya realized its significance.

"Wait, wait, back up!" he choked out, waving his hands in front of himself quickly. "You want to name your son after a character in a _book I wrote? _Why would you do that to –"

Again he wasn't allowed to finish his sentence. "Because your character has guts, bravery, pride, and wisdom, all things we want our son to have," Kushina told him, grinning slightly at the _Sannin's_ reaction.

"But-but –"

"And we wanted to have some testament and tribute to you, _sensei_, for everything you've done for us," Minato continued, not letting Jiraiya get a word in.

"I –"

"And the name fits his heritage perfect," Kushina told the dumbstruck Jiraiya. "Naruto also means maelstrom, a tribute to my hometown of Whirlpool."

"He –"

"It fits, it really does, _sensei_," Minato pleaded earnestly. "Please let us use it!"

"Of course I'll let you use it!" Jiraiya finally exploded. "I'm honored that you would use my name and character for your son, but are you _sure _you want to do this?"

"Completely," Minato and Kushina said together, smiling at the toad sage.

"Well, if you're sure…" he told them, getting up from the table. "Thank you." As he walked towards the door he heard Kushina's voice from behind him.

"You owe me a thousand _ryou,_ I told you he'd be reduced to a gibbering wreck!"

"Fine, fine," Minato grumbled.


	19. Sacrifices

Part two of Ella Unlimited's dare! Warning - warning! Spoilers for the manga!

* * *

Sacrifices

"_Sensei!_ What happened!" Jiraiya rushed into the office of the _Hokage,_ where the _Sandaime_ _Hokage_ was currently sitting. "Where's Minato? What happened to the village?"

"Sit down," Sarutobi told his student tiredly, gesturing to the chair in front of the desk.

"Where are Kushina and Minato, and what happened to Konohagakure?" Jiraiya persisted, not letting Sarutobi off the hook.

"They are both dead," the _Hokage_ sighed, covering his face briefly.

"What!" The white-haired man shot out of his chair in fury, a blazing glare directed at the old man in front of him. "Tell me what happened. _Now_." His voice was implacable and harsh.

"The seal was going to weaken when Kushina gave birth," Sarutobi began, turning to face the window in his office that looked out over the village. "We knew this, and took precautions to keep both her and the _Kyuubi_ safe. But somehow we were betrayed, and someone went in and released the _Kyuubi._"

"How did they find out about the birth?" Jiraiya interrupted, beginning to pace around the room. "Surely you kept it completely quiet…"

"We did, and even moved them out of the village to a secure location, but somehow we were compromised. The only ones who know how are now dead."

"What about their son! Did he survive!" Jiraiya was almost frantic now, tugging at his hair.

"Yes, Naruto survived." There was a heavy pause before he continued. "But Minato was forced to seal the _Kyuubi_ in the newborn. Naruto is now the new _Kyuubi _host."

"How could he do that! He used the _Shiki Fuujin_ didn't he? He died to save this village!" Tears were beginning to leak out of Jiraiya's eyes; his beloved student was now dead, sacrificed to save this village.

"Do you want to see Naruto?" the _Hokage _offered that one consolation to his bereft student.

"I…can't," Jiraiya forced out, averting his eyes. To see such a reminder of his student and his wife would just break him further. "Maybe the next time I return to Konoha." _Which won't be for a long time if I have any say in the matter._


	20. Blond Gaki

And this is part three of the dare from Ella Unlimited! Hope it live up to expectations!

* * *

Jiraiya was back in Konoha for the first time in twelve years. The last time he had been to the village was when the _Kyuubi_ had been released and rampaged across Konoha, flattening half the buildings.

Everything had been rebuilt, and was looking nicer than before if his memories were correct. Definitely including the hot springs. Although the fence may be sturdier than a self-proclaimed pervert might wish, they were also larger and possessed a convenient knot for which to see through.

However, his 'peekings' were interrupted by an odd man in sunglasses and a bandana, and his blond pupil, dressed in a bright orange jumpsuit. _That boy looks slightly like Minato...nah._

"W-What are you doing!" the man spluttered, glaring at the pervert fiercely. "How dare you defile women like that!"

"Quite easily," Jiraiya advocated, gesturing towards the fence. "Want a look? It's a pretty good view."

To his complete surprise, the man immediately suffered a huge nosebleed, falling back into the stream outside of the springs.

"Hm, he's out cold," the white-haired _sannin_ pronounced after examining him briefly. His gaze shifted to the man's pupil. "What are you going to do?"

"You knocked out my _sensei_!" the boy yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the toad sage. "That means you have to teach me now!" _He looks like Minato and has Kushina's attitude…can that really be Naruto?_

"Yeah yeah," he brushed the accusation aside. "Hey _gaki_, what's your name?"

Arms crossed over an orange jacket as the boy pouted, annoyed at Jiraiya's lack of response. "Naruto, what does it matter? You aren't from around here?"

_Yeah, that's him. _Jiraiya could feel his heart pounding slightly faster at seeing living proof of his student's legacy. _His and Kushina's. I wish they were here to see the boy._

His eyes raked over the frowning _genin_ – a bright orange set of clothing Minato wouldn't have been caught dead wearing, vibrant blonde hair just like Minato's, Kushina's expression adorning his face, and apparently Kushina's temper, personality, and distractibility. _It's a good thing he didn't get Kushina's red hair, or he would be a beacon from ten miles away; as it is he could probably be spotted from a mile even when hiding._

"Yo, kid, who are your parents, and why's this closet pervert teaching you?" Jiraiya asked, not letting on his recognition.

"I don't know who they are! I was in the orphanage forever. But Kakashi-_sensei_ assigned this guy to me," the boy grumbled, glaring up at the taller man. "And since you made him faint, now you gotta teach me! I have to be stronger for the _Chuunin _Exams!"

"Yeah, yeah," Jiraiya responded, distracted. He had to figure a way to get over and talk to Sarutobi as fast as possible. "Maybe later." He disappeared in a puff of smoke, and reappeared in the office of the _Sandaime Hokage_.

"Ah, Jiraiya-_chan_," he was greeted by his _sensei's_ voice. "How pleasant of you –"

"Forget it, old man," the white-haired man interrupted the _Hokage_. "Is that blond haired, orange wearing boy Minato's son?"

"Yes, I saw you meet him," Sarutobi continued equably. "That is indeed Minato's son."

"Then why does he not know who his parents are!" Jiraiya raged, glaring at his _sensei_ in fury. "He deserves to know he is the son of the Savior of Konoha!"

"It's not that simple, Jiraiya," Sarutobi sighed.

"Don't give me that bullshit! It _is _that simple! He is the son of Minato and Kushina! There is no greater legacy in this village except Tsunade's!"

"What about Minato's enemies?" Sarutobi interrupted the tirade, meeting Jiraiya's eyes. "When they came looking for the boy, would he be able to fend them off?"

Jiraiya sighed as well, sinking back in a chair. "You're right. He couldn't protect himself. But I will remedy that, so when he does learn he can fight off anyone who comes at him!"

* * *

And I put this in for Kaiser969 and Freewolf17's sake - Yoda dies! (No not starwars)


	21. Babysitting

This was tons of fun to write! Thanks Kaiser969 for the idea!

* * *

Babysitting

"I told you, I need someone to look after Nawaki tonight!" Tsunade was pacing in front of her two teammates, frustrated and aggravated beyond bounds. "Mom and Dad are out of the village for a month, and Nawaki is only five! I can't leave him alone yet without him destroying the house."

"And that's why you're asking one of us?" Jiraiya raised a skeptical eyebrow at the blonde girl. "I thought you didn't trust us not to destroy everything in sight."

"Yes, you repeatedly stated on numerous missions –" Orochimaru continued where Jiraiya left off only to be interrupted by Tsunade.

"I know what I said! Whenever you're together I _don't _trust you not to break out into a fight at any given moment! But right now I'm just asking for _one of you_ to babysit my little brother!" She was yanking at her hair now, pulling it into disarray. Why was it whenever she had to ask her teammates for a favor she ended up more irate and frustrated than she could ever imagine? Oh, that's right, it's because they were Jiraiya and Orochimaru. Nothing else had to be said.

"Why do you need us to babysit anyway?" Jiraiya asked shrewdly, eyeing Tsunade.

"_Because my parents are gone_," she enunciated slowly, glaring at the white-haired boy with every syllable.

"But where are you going tonight?" Orochimaru had picked up on his friend's drift, and was enjoying interrogating Tsunade.

"_Argh_!" she let out a growl of pure anger. "It's none of your," she poked Jiraiya in the chest, "or your," she did the same to Orochimaru, "business! I'm going out tonight and I need someone to watch Nawaki! End of story!"

"Well in that case," Jiraiya began, stroking an imaginary beard, "I would think Orochimaru is definitely better suited for the job."

"No, no," the pale-skinned boy replied, gesturing formally to Jiraiya, "you are certainly more highly qualified to babysit him than I."

"But you need the experience my friend."

"This is Nawaki. All prior experience is needed to keep him under control."

"True, but think about what a learning opportunity –"

"Enough!" Tsunade finally interrupted the two with identical punches. "You will both babysit him, and if I come home and find even the smallest thing broken I will make your lives living hell!"


	22. Aftermath

So, by popular agreement - namely Freewolf17 and Kaiser969, I decided to do a part two to my previous drabble - the aftermath of the babysitting!

* * *

Aftermath

Tsunade paused before walking up to her house to ensure it wasn't burning, breaking, or falling. She didn't trust Jiraiya or Orochimaru to have remained calm while babysitting her baby brother, and Nawaki was a handful in and of himself.

She cautiously opened the front door, expecting things to fall on her at any moment. But nothing came. In fact, the front room was abnormally clean.

"Nawaki?" the blonde girl called, a little spooked. The house was quiet. "Jiraiya? Orochimaru?" No answer.

Tsunade padded even further into the house. Lights were on, and there were dishes in the sink, but no sign of the three males that should be in the rooms. "Where are you guys?" she tried again, pitching her voice so it would be audible throughout the house.

"Nawaki? Orochimaru? Jirai –" her voice was cut off, muffled by something placed over her face.

"I got her!" Nawaki's childish voice yelled, before rope was wrapped around her body, binding her arms and legs together.

"Nawaki!" Tsunade tried to yell, but could only hear a muted sound from her own mouth.

She could feel her body being moved, up some stairs and through some rooms. However, they spun her around in multiple directions until she had totally lost any sense of direction she might have retained. Tsunade had no idea where she was, only that she was still in her house.

After a few minutes, the cover was whipped off her face. The girl was sitting in a chair in the middle of a room; the walls were bare and devoid of any cover, and there were no other pieces of furniture in the room.

"What have you done to my house!" was the first question out of Tsunade's mouth. No rooms like this existed in the Senju household, she was sure of it.

"We'll ask the questions." Nawaki strutted importantly in front of his tied up sister, chest puffed out and a stick in hand. Behind him, both Jiraiya and Orochimaru were struggling to muffle their laughs. Tsunade caught both of their eyes and glared at them, although it did little to affect their levity.

"Now," the five year old continued, tapping the stick on the floor officially. "Where…is the candy?"

"What?" Tsunade blurted out, completely taken aback by the unexpected question. "The candy?"

"I know you have it!" Nawaki poked the stick in her direction, a childish frown molding his features. "Now where is it?"

"Jiraiya, what's he talking about?" Tsunade was completely lost now, having no idea what candy her brother was talking about.

"Apparently he always gets candy after dinner," Jiraiya supplied helpfully, gesturing to the now pouting boy. "And when we went to give it to him this time, there was none."

"He's convinced you hid it to keep him from destroying the house," Orochimaru added, his shoulders still shaking with suppressed mirth.

Now that she thought about it, Tsunade recalled her parents asking her to buy a bag of candy – they didn't tell her why – before they left. _Oops_.

"I didn't buy it yet, Nawaki," Tsunade told her brother. "And unless you untie me, you won't get any till Mom and Dad come back!"

That got her brother moving quickly to loosen the knots binding her to the chair. She could have broken out of them with her monstrous strength, but saw no need to scar her baby brother like that.

When she was free Tsunade glared daggers at her two teammates. "And what exactly did you do to this room to make it look like this?" she threatened, her voice deadly.

"Nothing at all!" Jiraiya laughed, forming a hand seal. With a flicker, the room was restored to its former glory…the front room.

"I've been here the whole time!" Tsunade asked in disbelief. She hadn't moved at all from where she had come in!

"Yes," Orochimaru smirked, still laughing. "You need to hone your _genjutsu_ detection, _hime."_

"I'll deal with you two later!" Tsunade again glared at the two boys, before taking her little brother's hand. "But right now I need to give Nawaki some candy."


	23. The Power of Youth

Thought up by Dagomon =) At first I found the idea of Gai and Lee hosting their own TV show terrifying, but quickly thought of all the possibilities. =D

* * *

The Power of Youth

"Tsunade-_sama_, thank you for joining us on our TV show, 'The Power of Youth'!" Gai beamed at the camera pointed towards him, a thumbs up blocking out his body.

It was all Tsunade could do to keep from punching the wall already. Why had she agreed to do this again? Oh that's right, Naruto blackmailed her into taking his place…

"So Tsunade-_sama_," Lee began, moving his chair slightly closer to hers as she edged away, "why did you agree to become our _Hokage_?" A loaded question if there ever was one.

"Well," Tsunade began carefully considering her words. After all, who knew where this would end up? "Jiraiya and Naruto came hunting for me, and it took them a bit, but they convinced me being the _Hokage_ of Konoha was a worthy cause." There. That should be politically correct enough for those old advisors.

"Is it true you had challenged my eternal rival Naruto that he had to beat you before you would become the _Hokage_?" Lee pressed, leaning forward in his chair.

"Where did you hear that bullcrap?" Tsunade's eyebrow twitched; a mangled tale she was sure had something to do with the pervert, the blond _gaki_, or both. "I challenged him to master the ransengan to get my necklace, but the _Hokage _position never had anything to do with it. I would never bet on something so important to others."

"So your youthful grandfather's necklace is not important to you?" Gai's eyes widened; that was a new revelation. It was sure to get their channel many viewers.

"That's not what I said!" Tsunade struggled to keep her voice clam, to yell at either of the spandex clad _shinobi_ would only be asking for trouble, and possibly a comment about her 'youthfulness'. "I believe I said 'to others'. While my grandfather's necklace is of great importance to me, the fate of thousands does not depend on it!" Oh how wrong those words would prove to be, but that was another matter.

Gai tactfully decided to change the subject, seeing the _Hokage_ on the verge of losing her temper. If she exploded, he would be paying back damage costs to his studio for months, and he was pretty sure the _Hokage_ would be disinclined to give him missions to work up the funds.

"How has Tonton been?" he questioned her about her pet pig. "Has Shizune been taking good care of her in her springtime of youth?"

Tsunade nodded, happier to be back on neutral ground, and choosing to ignore Gai's flowery language as was usual. "Yes, Shizune watches her while I'm working, and I play with her and walk her when I'm done."

"How is the beautiful flower Shizune?" Lee butted in. "Is it true she does most of the work you should be doing as –" He stopped, cut off by a quick buffet from his mentor to his head.

"_Shhh, _Lee, my youthful student!" The man obviously thought he was whispering, but Tsunade could hear every word. "Do not go into political matters here, especially not ones that are true! The honorable Tsunade-_sama_ does her duty to the village, and we keep quiet about the paperwork!"

The blonde woman could feel her eyebrow beginning to twitch again. The worst kept secret in Konoha – that Shizune did part of her paperwork, or the damn thing would never be done. But to bring it up on TV, especially when others could hear everything…

"That's it, interview over." Tsunade stood up abruptly, brushing off her green jacket. "And to make sure this never makes it to TV…" With one punch, the recording camera was destroyed, and its tape along with it, as was most of the studio. "I'll compensate you two for all damages."

"Um, Tsunade-_sama_," Lee began, his voice tremulous as he looked at the wreckage. "This feed was live."

"_What!"_ Tsunade's shout could have been heard over all of Konoha, even if every TV in the village had not been tuned to that channel.


	24. Three Legs

Okay so I'm 99% sure the last bit wouldn't happen if the laws of physics had any effect, or the laws of sanity, but who said Naruto made sense OR was sane! CarlaFox1997's idea!

* * *

Three Legs

"Remind me why we're doing this again?" Tsunade asked with exaggerated patience. Jiraiya was crouched next to her, tying a bandana around both of their ankles, binding them together.

"Because this is a fundraiser for the orphanages, and I promised Minato I would take part!" he retorted, his voice floated up to her.

"But why am _I _your partner?" came the next question in a disturbingly calm voice.

"'Cause he likes you more than Orochimaru, and…he's going to be cheering us on. Loudly." Jiraiya cringed, waiting for the hit across his back, but all he heard was an aggravated sigh and a 'Fine.'

"Fine?" he asked incredulously, his head snapping up to stare at his teammate. "Fine! You _want_ to be recognized as participating in this race by a loud _gaki_?"

"Well, I like Minato, and if it makes him happy then I'll do it."

"Who are you and where did Tsunade go? _Ow!"_ Jiraiya rubbed his head where the blonde woman's fist had made hard contact. "Uncalled for!"

"That proves I'm Tsunade," she replied simply, then looked away, ignoring the white-haired idiot.

Just as he stood up, the referee, Sarutobi, approached the starting line. "Prepare yourselves!" he announced, looking specifically at his two students. "The race starts in THREE, TWO, ONE, NOW!"

The competitors took off, each wanting to be the first across the finish line. Within two steps three of the pairs had already fallen, leaving seven still in the race.

"Right, left, right, left," Tsunade muttered under her breath, working on keeping a steady pace. Apparently Jiraiya heard her, for the next time she said right he also moved his right leg, forcing her to stumble.

"What are you doing you idiot!" she screeched, fighting to regain her balance.

"You said right! I moved my right leg!"

"I was talking to myself, you move the opposite!"

"How was I to know that!"

"Go _Ero-sennin_! Go Tsunade-_hime_!" they both heard a cry from the sidelines. At the front of the crowd stood Minato, holding a huge sign with both of their names written on it. "Win, win, win!"

"Well if everyone's attention wasn't on us before, it is now," Tsunade quipped, poking Jiraiya in the side to make him move faster. "We had better win now."

"I'm going, I'm going," he grumbled, making sure to keep time. "Flat chest."

Her eyebrow twitched. "What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing."

"I could swear I heard you say flat chest. Don't lie to me Jiraiya."

"I didn't!"

"LIAR!" Tsunade dealt him a forceful punch, with so much power packed behind it he actually flew thirty feet. What she neglected to remember was that she was attached to him at the ankle, and since he had tied them together so well, she was dragged along for the ride.

Well, they were the first to cross the finish line.


	25. Mendokuse

Another CarlaFox1997 idea! She wanted something with Chouji and Shikamaru as kids, and where is Shikamaru without Shikaku and Yoshino?

* * *

Mendokuse

"Shikamaru! _Shikamaru_!" The boy's mother's voice floated up the hill to the pavilion where he lay on his back, gazing at the clouds.

"Aren't you going to answer her?" Chouji asked, not pausing in his eating. Barbeque chips should not be so disrespected by menial things such as talking.

"_Mendokuse. _Why bother? She just wants me to do some chore Pop can do," came the response. Clouds should not be slighted by such troublesome things as chores.

"_Shikamaru!_" this time it was more of a screech. "Get down here now or you'll be feeding the deer for a week!"

"It can't be helped." The six year old boy yawned and stood, stretching. "C'mon, Chouji, before she ropes you into this too."

When they got to the bottom of the hill, they found Shikamaru's mom standing there, his father right behind her. Shikamaru's eyes zeroed in on the man, then they narrowed.

"What gives, Pops? You ratted me out!"

"Sorry." He shrugged, unrepentant. "Your mom threatened to make me feed the deer for a week."

"That's the threat she used on me!"

Another shrug.

"_Mendokuse._ What did you want, Mom?"

"The academy starts in ten minutes, get over there!" Yoshino told her son strictly, pointing in the direction of the teaching building. "And Chouji, make sure he gets there!"

"Yes m'am!" Chouji snapped to attention, shoving his chips behind his back. The bag was almost empty anyway.

"Now march!"

Obediently, both six year olds began walking towards the academy, picking up their pace to a shout of "Faster!"

"Hey Chouji," Shikamaru muttered to his friend without turning his head, "I'll give you two bags of chips if you'll ditch with me."

"Two bags aren't worth the torment your mom will put me through," the Akimichi replied under his breath. "Five is though."

"Five it is then." A deal was struck, and right before the two boys reached the academy they ditched to the right, off towards the Hokage heads; a perfect place to watch the clouds where the Nara matriarch was sure not to look.

Five hours later, the two boys were still sitting up there, Chouji relaxing next to his friend and simply gazing at the clouds passing across the sky.

"So you two skipped, eh?" Shikamaru's father's voice floated over the two, easygoing and carefree.

"Yeah," Shikamaru drawled out. "Going to class would have been too troublesome."

"Chouji, how much did he bribe you?"

The boy was about to lie when a sharp glance from the Nara head changed his mind. "Five bags of chips sir. I'll be going home now."

Shikaku stood by to let the six year old pass, and gazed at his son.

"Mom's behind you, isn't she?" Shikamaru commented, without moving.

Silence was his only answer, a definite yes.

"_Mendokuse_."


	26. Fangirls?

Another dare by Ella Unlimited! I tried thinking of what Sakura and Ino would do before they were enemies, and the only things that came to mind had to do with Sasuke. What does that say? =)

* * *

Fangirls?

"Hey, Sakura!" Ino called out to her best friend who was sitting underneath a tree, thinking.

"Hm?" The pink-haired girl looked up, slightly out of it.

"Wanna do something fun?"

"Like what?" Sakura was suspicious. Anything fun to Ino usually came at the expense of someone else.

Ino beckoned, summoning Sakura closer for the secret. When the girl approached, Ino whispered in her ear "Catch Sasuke and tie him up for fun."

Sakura was about to vehemently deny any part in such a ploy, but stopped and considered. Sasuke was from the Uchiha, and while he wasn't absurdly arrogant like the rest of his clan, he was a very good student, and taking him down a notch would certainly boost her ego. "Count me in."

"That's more like it! So here's the plan…"

* * *

"Are you sure this will work?" Sakura asked anxiously. They had strung tripwire across an alley that Sasuke always took on his way home from school. "I mean, he's studying to be a _shinobi_, wouldn't he realize the wire is there?"

"I have a plan," Ino replied confidently. "You'll see."

Sure enough, Sasuke appeared at the end of the alley, engrossed in a book.

"Watch and learn," Ino whispered, and a flicker, an image of herself, appeared behind Sasuke.

"BOO!" shouted the _bunshin_, right behind Sasuke's ear. The boy immediately started forward, falling over the tripwire and triggering the trap. In less than a second he was wrapped up in a cocoon of _shinobi_ wire, and unable to break free.

"Now!" Ino cried, pulling on a loose wire she was holding, pulling Sasuke into the abandoned building next door.

* * *

"Ino, what are we going to do with him now?"

"Why, torture him of course!"

"But he's our classmate!"

Sasuke listened to the two girls arguing, working on loosening the knots tying him. They weren't very secure, and he could feel them giving way.

"It doesn't matter; if we caught him he's weaker than us!"

"But he's an _Uchiha_!"

"So? The Uchiha aren't all that great, are they Sasuke?" Ino taunted turning to their prisoner. "Sasuke?"

The bonds supposed to be holding the boy were empty.

"We lost him!" Ino cried, rapidly spinning around looking for the boy. "We have to catch him!"

And so began the fangirl stage of forever chasing after Sasuke.


	27. To Live for Ramen

So I decided the other one sucked. Here's a new one! Still has Naruto and ramen. Any better, Echo Uchiha? And I kept the line Ella Unlimited liked =) If it's still bad...blame first day of classes!

* * *

To Live for Ramen

"Old man! A bowl of _miso_ ramen please!" Naruto ran into Ichiraku's and immediately plopped down on one of the many empty stools in front of the bar.

"Sure, Naruto, coming right up!" Teuchi replied, grinning at his favorite customer. Then he turned to the woman sitting at the end of the row, her face hidden. "And for you?"

"Same as him," the woman replied in a low voice, gesturing at Naruto.

"Sure, sure," Teuchi disappeared into the back of his stall.

Naruto glanced over at the stranger, something about that voice was familiar…only one way to find out. With a quietly whispered "_kage bunshin_" the boy made a shadow clone who crept out of sight behind the Ichiraku stand.

The clone snuck around the stand, circling until it stood right behind the woman, just waiting for the right time to 'attack'.

"Ramen!" Teuchi announced, re-entering the front of the stand with two steaming bowls. _Perfect. _Just as the woman reached out to receive her bowl, the clone yanked on her cloak, trying to unmask her.

It didn't work. Instead of sliding off, the cloak jerked the woman back as well, causing her to spill the ramen all down her front.

Naruto watched in horror as his beloved food spilled, going all to waste. "Ramen is the gift of the gods to man! It needs to be treasured, eaten, and worshiped, not spilled!" he moaned, darting forward to help his clone in saving as much as possible.

"Naruto…" the woman growled, finally turning to face the boy. When the light finally hit, blonde hair was revealed, framing a face with a purple diamond in the center of her forehead, and golden amber eyes. Those eyes were narrowed on the perpetrator in fury.

"Tsunade-_baachan_!" Naruto squeaked out, quickly backpedaling. A pissed off Tsunade was _not _a good person to be around.

"You ruined my new coat!" the blonde woman roared, her left hand flying out and slamming the clone in the face, immediately dispelling him.

Naruto took that as his cue to run, grabbing his ramen on the way. Such a precious resource was not to be left behind even in the threat of certain death. "_Gomennasai_!" he cried as he fled, his voice floating back to the irate woman.

"That won't save you!" she yelled, charging forward in quick pursuit.

"Gotta hide, gotta hide, gotta hide…where to put the ramen?" Naruto muttered under his breath, darting through the crowds clogging Konoha. "There!" He spotted the Yamanaka flower shop, darting inside.

"Ino, Ino, I need a place to hide!" he burst out, skidding to a stop in front of her counter.

"What did you do this time Naruto?" Sakura contested from her spot next to Ino.

"Yeah, and it had better not bring any damage to my shop or you'll pay," Ino warned.

"I didn't do anything!" Naruto protested, but faltered under two identical glares. "I spilled ramen on Tsunade-_baachan_."

Two seconds later he was back outside the shop, and Tsunade was almost breathing down his neck. "Gotta go!" He shot off again, diving out of the way of Tsunade's grab.

Right across the street was Chouji's favorite barbeque place, sure to be full of many people to get lost in. As soon as he made it inside, Naruto saw his friend eating the last of an order of barbeque, and slid into the booth next to him, conscientious to not spill a drop of his precious ramen.

"Hey Naruto, what's up?" the Akimichi asked jovially, looking over at the blond boy.

"Not much, just running from Tsunade-_baachan_," Naruto replied nonchalantly, checking back over his shoulder for his pursuer. He didn't see her anywhere and allowed himself to relax. _Maybe I lost her._

"Oh really?" Chouji inquired curiously, eyeing the ramen. He was still hungry. "What for?"

"I spilled ramen on her," Naruto whispered, not wanting to announce it for fear of the woman hearing. "The same ramen as mi – HEY!"

The bowl of ramen was empty, and Naruto stared at it in disbelief. "Where's my ramen? You ate my ramen!" He leapt out of the booth, pointing an accusing finger at Chouji. "How dare you eat my life source!"

"You're going to need it," came a sinister voice from behind the blond boy, and he turned around, trembling. With a single finger flick, Naruto was flying backwards through the window of the restaurant, crashing into the Yamanaka shop across the street.

"Narutooooo!" Sakura's voice roared from the shop, and he flew out once more, crashing along the street until he slammed into Ichiraku's.

"Here's your ramen," Tsunade stated, marching right up to the prone boy and grabbing a bowl of miso, dumping it on Naruto. "Bowl's on me."


	28. Tell Me Why

Another dare from Ella Unlimited - you really come up with some awesome ones! Sakura explaining to Tsunade her love of Sasuke ;) Hope I got equal parts of funny and serious in there!

* * *

Tell Me Why

"So." Tsunade steepled her fingers and peered over their tips at her student. "Tell me why."

Sakura's brows knitted into a frown. "Why what, _shishou_?" she asked, confused.

"Why you continue to moon over Sasuke," was the blunt reply.

The pinkette blinked in surprise, stunned by the line of questioning. Sasuke had been gone for months now, and she had been progressing quickly in her training. Yes she cried over him some nights, but was it that noticeable?

"I…don't know what you mean."

"Don't lie to me Sakura, I see it when you come in tired from crying all night. I'm a medic _shinobi_, trained to notice such details. Enlighten me."

"Well…" she fiddled with her hair before answering. "He's…hurt. So hurt by his past. And he tries to deal with it, but I can see it's tearing him up. And he pushes people away, because he's afraid of being hurt again. He's so brave, and strong, and tragic and…"

Tsunade let her apprentice ramble on about all of Sasuke's good qualities, from his attitude, to his hair, to his moves. When she was finally done the blonde woman tapped her fingers on the desk.

"So, has he ever showed you that he wanted help or asked you for any?"

"No, but I can tell he –"

"Has he…approached you, looking for your company?"

"No he's being –"

"Has he, say, ever demonstrated that he cared about your wellbeing?"

"Many times!" That was a true point, but there were many others not so obvious.

"When did he ever demonstrate that he wanted help?"

"Never, but that's because –"

"Did he ever show he wanted friends?"

"Yes! He and Naruto –"

"Naruto has nothing to do with this," Tsunade interrupted her, then continued her questioning.

"When he betrayed this village, why did he knock you unconscious?"

"Because he wanted to protect me! He said so!"

"And so, you think his leaving the village was a cry for help?"

"Yes! He's too afraid to use words, it's his actions that speak!"

"So when he almost killed his pursuers, you're saying that's a sign of his affection," Tsunade clarified, skeptical.

"Yes!" Sakura was overjoyed her _shishou _was understanding her point of view.

The _Hokage_ sighed, covering her face with her hand. "Sakura, you're reading what you want in his actions. It's making you blind to the truth. I admire your devotion to Sasuke after all he has done, but this is getting absurd.

"He has defected from Konoha. Nothing changes that. He nearly killed his pursuers who attempted to bring him back. The proof is in the scars on Naruto's body. He has sworn to avenge his family no matter the cost; to kill Itachi. He wants no help in that endeavor, he has said so multiple times. He will do anything for power, and destroy anything and anyone who stands in his way. If you try to bring him back, that will include you."

"I…understand, _shishou_," Sakura said quietly, her head downcast and hands knotted tightly. _Sasuke, I will bring you back!_ She stood up and left the room, not looking back.

Tsunade watched her back until the door closed behind her. "Sakura, I wish I had your naivety..."

* * *

Oh and, since I replaced the other chapter (27) people couldn't double review it...I'd appreciate any feedback on if it was any better than the first try I put up! PM me! =D


	29. Troublesome Women

Not so much funny as just...cute? Serious? Oh well, hope its up to standard

* * *

Troublesome Women

"Hey, you!" Shikamaru turned around to look at whoever had shouted at him. He was the only one on the street besides that blonde girl from the _Chuunin _Exams, so it had to be at him.

"Yeah you! Where are you going?"

The question was odd. He hadn't talked to the girl outside of the Exams, and she was going to be his opponent later on. There was really no reason for her to approach him except to figure out his strategies.

"Home," he replied in a monotone, shrugging with his hands deep in his pockets. "Got chores to do, and if I'm late Mom'll get on my case."

"Oh?" Her eyebrow arched in interest. "What kind of chores?"

He didn't know why she was so interested in him, but maybe he could take advantage of it. "Feeding the deer."

She perked up at that. "Deer? We don't have any deer in Suna. Mind if I tag along?"

He really couldn't refuse, because that would lead to arguing, which was far too troublesome. Another shrug was her answer as he turned and continued walking.

"So why do you raise deer?" Temari asked, quickening her steps to catch up. "Is it a family hobby or something?"

"We use their antlers for medicine. It's a clan thing," Shikamaru replied in a bored tone. "It's rather mundane actually."

"So what's your family like? Will I get to meet them?"

The boy shot a sideways glance at Temari, surprised. Why would she want to meet his family? What was her motive? He would have to wait and see how it played out.

He shrugged again. "If they're there. Mom probably will be at least. It's not that much farther."

A few minutes later he turned into the Nara Compound, Temari still following him. _Why_ was this girl following him?

"Mom, I'm back!" he called into the house, stopping by to pick up one of the buckets of feed outside the door. "Going into the forest!"

"Aren't we going in?" Temari asked confused, looking between him and the door.

"Nope, the faster we get out of here the better. Mom will be here when we come back." He walked the fastest she had seen him move away from the house, the bucket swinging from his hand. Again Temari had to run to catch up.

"The deer will be pretty far in, but they'll come when they're called," he explained on the way through the forest. "They aren't afraid of humans."

He stopped in a clearing, placing the bucket down at his feet, and made a strange hand seal; Temari had never seen it before. Apparently it signaled the deer somehow though, as they began picking their way through the trees.

It was slightly creepy, all of them stood around in a circle, just gazing at the two with intelligent eyes, as Temari looked back.

"Give them a handful of feed," Shikamaru muttered out of the side of his mouth at her, as he did the same. The quicker we get this done the quicker we can leave."

As Temari reached for the feed a small deer, just a fawn, approached and nuzzled her. She started, and looked down at it in disbelief. It was so cute! All she wanted to do was pet it! Her hand creeped out tentatively, furtively, and touched the top of its head. So soft!

Shikamaru watched it all from the corner of his eye as he swiftly fed the rest of the deer. Who knew that girl had a soft spot from the way she acted? She would definitely get on well with his mom – no way should they meet, if he wanted to keep his sanity.

Finally all the deer had eaten and left, except the fawn and its mother. The doe walked over and began nudging her child away gently. Temari was sad to see it go. It really was so cute.

"C'mon." Shikamaru broke the spell, picking up the bucket once more. "If we hurry back, you can meet my mom and go before dad gets home."

"What's the rush?" Temari asked, keeping pace with the boy has he hurried home. "I could meet your dad too."

"Only if you want to be cross-examined."

They had reached the house, and Shikamaru walked right in, announcing "Mom! We have a guest!"

A woman appeared from the kitchen, brushing flour from her hands. "Shikamaru, what –? Oh!" Her eyes lit upon seeing Temari. "And you are? I apologize for my son's manners; he gets them from his father." She reached forward and twisted Shikamaru's ear, making him yelp.

"Hey mom, what gives!"

"Be more courteous! Take this young lady into the kitchen and get her something to eat!" She followed the two in and sat across from Temari at the table. "I don't think we've been introduced?"

"I'm Temari, from Suna," the blonde girl replied, slightly uncomfortable with the piercing glance directed her way.

"Oh, how wonderful! I'm sorry my son is so lazy, I promise most of our _genin_ are nothing like him."

Temari stifled a laugh. "It's not a problem; I have plenty of experience at dealing with lazy boys. My brother is one."

Shikamaru placed a plate of dango in the middle of the table, and slumped in a chair as far away from the two as possible. "Great. Now you're finding similarities. Soon you'll be conspiring…"

Both females looked over at the boy, and with identical glances dismissed him. "Too late," he muttered.


	30. An Idiot Shinobi

I swear Kaiser-969 wrote like half of this! It was ALL his idea! And I'm so sorry it took so long! I had an essay due yesterday, one today, and one tomorrow!

And to Thetroublemaker because you went anonymous and were apparently too cowardly to try to flame me on your own account - I said there might be other drabble characters mixed in. Learn to read.

* * *

An Idiot Shinobi

Jiraiya felt a tap on his shoulder. He was peeking through the knothole at the hot springs, looking for a certain female teammate of his.

_It can't be anything important, certainly not more important than finding Tsunade._

He disregarded the person, thinking they would go away soon enough; or, if they wanted the peephole, they would go find their own.

Again a tap. He didn't look away from the bounty of beauty on the other side of the fence, but muttered loud enough for the person to hear, "Hey, do you mind? Go find your own or go away."

For a minute there was no tap, and the white-haired man thought the person had left. Then…._tap_. This time a bit harder. _If I just ignore them they will go away,_ he thought to himself, annoyed now. "Where is that flat-chested…"

The hardest tap yet. "Do you _mind_?" Jiraiya's head shot up to glare at the person next to him. Wait, that wasn't a face it was a…

Jiraiya flew twenty feet back from the fence courtesy of a flying fist.

"You were looking for me?" Tsunade remarked sweetly, examining her knuckles. "How touching. Well now that you've found me, why don't we play a game?" Her eyes sharpened until it seemed they would cut him where he lay. "It's called cat and mouse."

Jiraiya disappeared so fast he left an afterimage on the grass, but he wasn't fast enough.

"Too slow!" Tsunade shouted as she slammed her fist into the ground, cracking the earth beneath him. As Jiraiya stumbled, she ran forward and delivered a sharp uppercut to his chin, forcing him to fly into the air, then appeared above him, and releasing a devastating axe kick across his chest. He hit the earth so hard he made a crater, and lay there, gasping.

"I'm not finished with you!"

When Orochimaru walked by a little later, he saw his male teammate lying sprawled on the ground in the middle of a ten foot wide crater. From the looks of it, he had at least twenty different broken bones.

"What's up, _baka_?"

For once Jiraiya didn't answer with a customary insult. "A _shinobi_…is a man…who can…endure…anything," he managed to gasp out.

"You tried peeping on Tsunade again, didn't you?" Silence was Orochimaru's answer. "Idiot."


	31. In the Rain

I apologize for this, I really do. I've been in a very melancholy mood for the past couple days, and anything I write is tainted. As such, I decided if I have to write sad, why not write a funeral. This is kind of from Tsunade's view...as much as I could make it while remaining third person.

* * *

In the Rain

Tsunade stood in the pouring rain, watching her grandfather's funeral. She was only eight, and one of the founding pillars in her life was gone. True, he had stood for the village as a whole as well, but she was not the whole village. And he was her grandfather.

Senju Hashirama was laid into the ground in front of the carved flame at the head of the graveyard. He had created it himself, and even let Tsunade help to paint it.

She couldn't hold back a silent sob, even with the mantra _Kunoichi don't cry, kunoichi don't cry, kunoichi don't cry…_she especially couldn't let her teammates see. She was the strong one, and the only girl.

From her left, she could sense Orochimaru's look but he did nothing. On her right, Jiraiya was also looking at her, but leaned over and whispered, "It's okay to cry, Tsunade-_hime._"

He so rarely called her that, except when he was being serious. When Orochimaru tentatively patted her on the shoulder at Jiraiya's silent urging, Tsunade lost control. The tears poured down her face, although she remained silent. She wouldn't defile her grandfather's memory by sobbing aloud at his funeral.

Soon enough the procession moved to the Memorial Stone, where the names of all _shinobi_ killed in action were to be written. There were so few names there; Hashirama's would be near the top.

They let Tsunade lead the procession, her parents and great-uncle one step behind. Every person in the line carried a red rose to lay down on the pedestal once his name had been engraved.

"Tsunade-_hime_, would you hold the hammer?" one of the _jounin_ asked quietly.

Wordlessly the girl stepped forward, taking the wooden hammer from the man and waiting as he positioned the chisel. When he nodded, she pounded the hammer down on the flat head of the chisel, beginning the carving of her honored grandfather's name.

Each member of the remaining Senju family carved one of the _kanji_ making up Hashirama's name. Tsunade could see her mother fighting to hold back tears, her father's mournful expression, and her great-uncle's stony countenance.

After the _jounin _had stepped back with a respectful bow to the stone, the four Senju moved forward. Each bowed before the stone and laid their foreheads on the pedestal, wet from the rain. They remained there for a few minutes, sending up their prayers to the great man.

As soon as the four had moved back, the rest of the Konoha population moved forward, each pausing a moment before laying their red rose down in front of the Memorial Stone.

Tsunade couldn't remain and watch. She turned and left, walking away quickly before she was noticed. But Jiraiya and Orochimaru followed. They trailed her in silence, and she knew they were there, but didn't acknowledge them until she reached their special training spot.

Her grandfather had trained her there, and it had been their little secret. But somehow it felt right to have her teammates there with her. She sat in the middle of the clearing, and both boys sat on either side.

They remained silent, sitting there in the rain for the rest of the day.


	32. Pictures and Books

The last two lines Tsunade speaks are word for word from Kaiser969! =D They are brilliance! Yes this is the shortest one I've done in a while, but short and sweet! My mood is slowly getting better so soon I will be able to work up to my next idea - it includes Kakashi and Tsunade! =D

* * *

Pictures and Books

"Hey Tsunade." Jiraiya leapt into the _Hokage's_ through the open window, startling the blonde woman at the desk, although she didn't show it.

"Why can't you use the door like a normal person?" she asked, not looking up from her paperwork.

"What I have to show you is much too important to use the door for!" Jiraiya protested as he leaned over her shoulder. "And definitely much better than paperwork."

"Okay, you've convinced me," Tsunade replied, pushing the paperwork away. "Anything is better than that crap."

The white-haired man grinned. "Great! Now for a drumroll…" he wilted slightly under the glare sent his way. "Fine. I wrote a new _Icha Icha_ book and signed one just for you! First one off the press, people would kill for it!"

Tsunade's eyebrow twitched. "Anything is better than paperwork…except this!" She snatched the copy from Jiraiya's hands and threw it into the trashcan next to her desk. "Why would I want to read something so completely perverted?"

"But –"

"Go away if you have nothing better to show me, Jiraiya." She returned her attention to her paperwork.

Only when she saw him leave the room by the window again did she reach over to her trashcan and pull out the book.

A secret drawer in her desk popped open when she pressed the latch, revealing each and every book in Jiraiya's _Icha Icha _collection.

"Thank you for the homage, Jiraiya," she whispered softly, running her hands over the covers of the novels. Even if she didn't read them, she appreciated the sentiment.

She didn't notice Jiraiya looking in the same window he had left from, watching her every action. He had seen her do this with each book he gave her, and he knew the exact words that came next.

"A picture is worth a thousand words, but a heart is worth a thousand books," they whispered together.


	33. Dreams and Age

So this was another dare from Ella Unlimited - she comes up with some really good ones! She wanted me to write about Tsunade/Jiraiya's dreams of the future =D And here's what I got!

* * *

Dreams and Age

"Hey, what do you want to do when you grow up?"

Tsunade turned her head to look at her white-haired teammate next to her on the grass. "I don't know, I've never really thought about it."

He gave her a wide-eyed stare. "You _haven't_? I have my whole future planned out!"

"I was just going to become the strongest _kunoichi_ ever," she shrugged. "Nothing really specific. How about you?"

He grinned so wide she thought his cheeks would split. "I want to be a great novelist!"

Tsunade couldn't suppress a snort of disbelief. "A _novelist_? You?"

"Hey!" he defended indignantly. "I can be a great writer! I'll make millions off of it!"

"Sure, sure…"

"I will! But I'm also going to train a great student who will become the _Hokage_!"

Her eyebrows rose. "Ambitious, aren't you? You don't want to be the _Hokage_ yourself though?"

"Nope! You don't either do you?" he asked shrewdly.

"Hell no! After I see all the work _ojii-sama_ has to put into it why would I want to do that to myself? I wouldn't mind being related to the current _Hokage_ in the future though."

"Well that's why I would train a student to be the _Hokage _instead! So I get all of the recognition and none of the work!" Jiraiya retorted happily.

"Well I'll become the greatest healer in the world!" Tsunade felt she had to match Jiraiya's ambitions or be inferior. "_Obaa-sama_ is really good at medical _ninjutsu_ and I'll learn it all from her, then make my own!"

"And when you're all old and wrinkly?"

Tsunade scrunched her nose up in disgust. "I'll never be old! I'll age gracefully, as a pretty woman should."

"Yeah, but if you don't?" he pressed, pushing her buttons as always.

"Then I'll invent a way to stay young!" she told him fiercely. There was no _way_ she would be wrinkly! "How about you? You already have white hair, the only thing that would change would be your attitude and eyesight."

"No way! I'll be so powerful, age won't be able to touch me!" He sobered slightly. "And even if it does, most _shinobi_ don't live that long anyway."

"We'll be the exceptions," she laughed, turning back to gaze up at the sky. "We won't age, and we'll be the most powerful for at least three decades!"


	34. Addiction

I had promised a Kakashi one for two drabbles now...so here it is! Enjoy!

It might be a bit before I put up another depending on how much more sick I get...'

* * *

Addiction

Kakashi stood outside the _Hokage's_ office, his nose buried in a book as usual. He and the rest of Team Seven were awaiting their debriefing on their newest mission; a D Rank again, no doubt, but it was still money.

"Kaka-_sensei_," Naruto whined from his position on the floor, "when can we go in?"

"Patience, Naruto," he responded sagely, not looking away from the scene that was becoming even more interesting. Time was irrelevant when compared to the great writings of Jiraiya-_sama_.

Shizune poked her head out of the door and beckoned to the three bored _genin_ and one intrigued _jounin_. "You can come in now."

Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke quickly filed in, wanting to get the meeting and mission over and done with, but Kakashi took his time, sauntering in, his face still hidden behind the novel.

"Kakashi!" Tsunade's voice reprimanded him sharply. "Put that trash away and pay attention!"

He snapped to attention, swiftly stowing his treasure in his weapons pouch were it was least likely to be stolen.

"Now, your mission will be another gardening mission…"

Tsunade's voice started droning on in the background as Kakashi's attention focused completely on the book behind him. He was just getting to the best part, and the main character was about to…

His fingers started inching backwards, sneaking under the flap of his pouch.

"Kakashi!" Tsunade ordered again. Her eyebrow was beginning to twitch. "Pay attention!"

"Yes'm!" This time his attention stayed on her for a full minute before being diverted back to the book. A quick peek couldn't hurt…

His hand whipped back, pulling the book out and opening it to the exact page – well-thumbed and dog-eared – where the climax of the book occurred. His eyes skimmed greedily over the lines, and even though he had them memorized, it always gave him a thrill to read them.

He didn't notice the _kunai_ whizzing towards him until it was too late. His precious book was pierced through the center and stolen out of his hands to be fastened to the wall.

For a second, he could only stare in disbelief at the empty location where his precious, his life, and once been held. Then his eye traveled slowly sideways, until it spotted the book hanging from the wall.

"Kakashi! I warned you!" Tsunade stalked over from her desk and snatched the _kunai_ out of the wall, brandishing the book on it. "I will not tolerate being ignored for any reason, especially not for any of Jiraiya's _trash_!"

She yanked the weapon out of the book, before tossing the novel out the window behind her, not heeding the crash of the broken window.

Kakashi was transfixed by the sight of his life being thrown away as such trash. Then he regained control of his body. The silver-haired _jounin _rushed towards the window, a scream tearing itself from his throat. "_Nooooooo!"_

But he never reached his goal. "Give it up, and sit down, Kakashi," Tsunade threatened him, standing in his path, "or I will go to your house and take the other five copies I know you have of that book as well as the rest of that blasted series and _Burn. Them. All!"_ She grinned at him, all sadist. "Understood?"

Kakashi gulped and nodded slowly, backing towards his team. "Understood…"


	35. Clouds

Okay, I honestly cannot speak out loud at ALL right now, that's how sick I am...but it's only my throat! GRAHHHH...

Anyway, this was a dare from Ella Unlimited (Seriously, great dares you got!) and there were a few ways I could have taken this - the past, the present, the future...;)

If you don't remember, Hanare is from Shippuuden ep 191...Enjoy!

* * *

Clouds

"I want you to show her around the village."

Inoichi's charge echoed in Kakashi's brain. He vaguely recognized the girl who had supposedly interrogated Konoha, but it was like a memory of a memory, it was so faint.

The Yamanaka had told him Hanare had a memory of him from when he was young, and he could believe that. After all, he had been somewhere near the Hidden Lock Village after Obito's death. He was prone to go wandering around by himself a lot in the aftermath.

Ah yes, he remembered now.

* * *

"Hey, why are you crying?" The thirteen year old boy stared at the girl who was rubbing at her eyes, tears dripping down her cheeks.

"I want to go to the village," she responded softly, staring up at him. "Who are you?"

"No one of importance." He didn't feel comfortable with disclosing his name. "Where is your village?"

"I don't know." More tears welled up. "But I have to find my _otou-san_ and _okaa-san_. I have to meet them…"

His heart went to the girl. To not know her parents at all… "I'll help you look for it then," he promised.

She brightened considerably, her long black hair swaying slightly in the breeze.  
"Thank you!"

When she ran the few steps to catch up to him, he could see her faltering step. She was so young to be searching all alone, and he didn't think she was a _shinobi_.

"Tell you what, I'll carry you, and you can direct me," he told her lightly, swinging her up on his back before she could protest. Her tinkling laugh made his heart lift ever so slightly, pushing back the dark cloud that had covered it.

"Okay…that way!" She pointed over his right shoulder, not that there was really any way to see if one direction was different from another.

He humored her, marching onward for an hour or so as she commented on everything she saw. It was as though she had never been outside before.

Finally she fell silent, and he could sense the somber mood that over took her.

"Do you know your _otou-san _and _okaa-san_?" she asked finally, peering over his shoulder to see his face.

His left eye tightened convulsively, but she couldn't see because of the bandana covering it. "Not my _okaa-san_, and my _otou-san_ left when I was little," he responded evasively.

"So you don't know them either?" Her voice was sad as she tightened her hold on his shoulders.

"No but…" he thought quickly, trying to come up with a way to make the girl happier. The clouds. They always worked for him…

"You see those clouds?" He pointed with his free hand up at the sky, where they were floating, all white and fluffy. "Clouds can be whatever you want, if you just have the imagination for them. So I'll picture my _otou-san_ up there, or my friend, or a good memory. It always works."

Her brow wrinkled. "So if I wanted a bunny, I could look up there and picture a bunny and see it?"

"Yup!" He eye-smiled at her, because she couldn't see the grin under his mask. "Try it!"

"Okay!" Her brow cleared as she chose an image and then stared intently at the clouds. "I see it! I see it! My bunny, and _otou-san _and _okaa-san_, and the village, exactly as I pictured them!"

"See? I told you it would work!"

Again he walked on, this time with her naming every object that came to mind and describing its cloud shape to him in detail.

But the trip didn't last. "Hanare!" An old man's voice echoed over the hills, and Kakashi saw a brown clad figure with a hat staring at the two.

"Oh!" She seemed to recognize the man, for she hopped down from Kakashi's back and started running towards him.

Then she turned back, as though a thought had just occurred. "Thank you! For teaching me about the clouds and all…" she called shyly, waving at him. "I promise I won't forget you!"

Then the girl, Hanare, turned and ran away, leaving Kakashi waving after her until she disappeared among the hills.

* * *

Somehow the encounter had made his heart lighter from then on, and he could imagine Obito up there in the clouds, grinning down at him, goggles and all.


	36. The Darkness

So just to clarify - this is when they are teenagers. You can thank Kaiser969 for the idea for this! *Has been so wrapped up in Bleach fic there's no room for any other ideas!*

* * *

The Darkness

"Tsunade!" Jiraiya ran to catch up to his blonde teammate, ignoring the disinterested glance she sent his way. "Wanna get a drink?"

Tsunade's whole demeanor perked up at the mention of alcohol – technically they were still forbidden from drinking it, but that hadn't stopped the two from getting their first taste of the liquor last week.

"Where and when?" She lowered her voice conspiratorially, bringing her head closer to his.

"Tonight, behind Training Ground 7," he whispered back, enjoying her nearness. "I'll supply."

With that the white-haired boy tweaked his teammate's pigtail before running away, to a screech of "Jiraiya! Get back here!"

* * *

The training ground was dark and silent when Tsunade arrived, and she couldn't feel Jiraiya's _chakra_ anywhere. But she knew he had to be there – he had promised he would arrive early.

"Jiraiya?" she called softly, her eyes roaming all around. She didn't particularly like the dark. Too many things could hide in it. "Jiraiya?"

She could barely suppress a scream when something grabbed her ankle from below, pulling her down into the earth. When they reappeared out of the earth a few seconds later, the first thing Tsunade did was deck her teammate.

"You _baka! _You _know_ I _hate_ the dark! How _dare_ you do that!"

"Hey hey hey!" Jiraiya quickly backed up, waving his hands in a pleading gesture. "I brought the _sake_! Don't hurt the supplier!"

"Fine." With one last punch Tsunade settled down, grabbing a proffered bottle from the teenager.

It didn't take much to get them both drunk, only a few bottles each. Their second time lasted them one bottle longer than their first, however.

"Jiraiya?" Tsunade slurred, weaving a little where she sat.

"Yeah?" he asked, trying to focus his eyes upon her.

"You know I'm really afraid of the dark, right?"

"Don't worry about it, I'll protect you!" Jiraiya declared, standing up despite his unsteadiness.

"Aw, that's so sweet!" Tsunade tipped forward, sliding against one of his legs and grabbing it for support. "Jiraiya-_kun_."

Even she seemed surprised to hear the honorific come out of her mouth, and the white-haired boy stared down at her, shock painted across his face.

"Hm?"

"Jiraiya-_kun,_" Tsunade tried again, liking the sound of it.

This time the teenager's knees gave out, plopping him down right next to his teammate. Now instead of leaning against his leg, Tsunade was leaning against his chest, and she rather liked it there.

"So you'll fight the darkness away for me, Jiraiya-_kun_?" She placed a little pop on the honorific, nuzzling into him.

"Always, _hime_," he responded, arms slipping around her. He had wanted to hold her for so long. Check. Now about the next item on that list: kissing…

Her head tilted up at him, eyes wide and trusting. "You promise?"

"Always, _hime_." He lowered his own head, lips brushing against hers tentatively. He knew she had never kissed anyone before, and neither had he. That honor had been saved for Tsunade…

That kiss was awkward, as neither knew exactly what to do, so their lips simply remained pressed against each other.

When they both pulled back their eyes stared into each other: Jiraiya's happy and warm, and Tsunade's in shock.

"I'm –" Jiraiya began, with the full intention of apologizing to his teammate.

But he was interrupted when she moved forward again, pressing her lips to his. "Don't be sorry."


	37. Happy Birthday

I decided Tsunade needed a birthday party. I have NO idea how they would go in Japan, and so its kind of Americanized...

Haven't eaten in 24hrs - so if its good maybe I should do that more often...and if its bad blame that! ;)

* * *

Happy Birthday

"Happy Birthday Tsunade!" her grandmother congratulated the six year old as she was greeted at the door by the birthday girl.

"Mito-_obaa-san!_" Tsunade grinned, leaping forward to hug the woman tightly. "You came!"

"Of course we came," Hashirama's voice floated out from behind his wife. "We wouldn't miss our granddaughter's sixth birthday!"

"Hey, what's the crowd?" came another voice from even further back. "I want to get to the cake!"

Jiraiya squeezed around the two elders in the doorway, stopping when he realized exactly who was there. "_Hokage-sama_! You're coming too?" Then his head whipped around to Tsunade. "You never said _Hokage-sama _would be coming! Now I gotta change my present!"

She laughed at his expression, pulling him inside by the collar. "Of course he would come, he's my grandfather! And any present you can show to me, you can show to him. Actually, you could probably show him more presents than me…"

She turned back to her grandparents. "Come inside! _Kaa-san_ will be home soon with the cake, and _tou-san_ is in the kitchen waiting for you."

The two adults stepped inside and headed for the kitchen, but what caught the two six year olds attention was the boy following them. "Orochimaru-_kun_!"

"Hello, Tsunade-_hime_, Jiraiya," the black haired boy said with a slight bow. "Happy birthday."

"_Teme _why were you back there!"Jiraiya immediately started, grinning at his teammate. "And what did you get Tsunade?"

"Like I would tell you, _baka_," came the quick retort. "That is for Tsunade-_hime _to find out."

"Hey, you two!" Tsunade grabbed each of their collars and pulled. "It's time for cake!"

Two minutes later Tsunade's mother entered the house, bearing cake, juice, and ice cream. She was immediately set upon by three hungry six year olds. "Cake!"

"Woah, woah!" she laughed, setting down her burden. "Everyone take some and go. Take them to the kitchen."

The teammates did as they were told, carting off the food to Tsunade's father in the kitchen, who placed six candles in the cake before stowing the other food.

"Since Hashirama-_sama_ has to get back to work soon, we'll do cake and presents first," he announced. "Congratulations to Tsunade-_chan_ for turning six years old!"

He handed her the knife after she blew out the candles, allowing her to make the first cut. "Cake!" cheered Orochimaru and Jiraiya, watching as each slice was cut from the main cake.

"Jiraiya!" Tsunade yelped after they had all been given their pieces. "I get first bite!"

"Oh!" The boy blushed, lowering the piece of cake that was halfway to his mouth. "Go on then, I'm hungry!"

"Just for that…" Tsunade slowly cut her piece, and brought it to her mouth, pausing for a few seconds before finally popping it in. "Now you can eat."

"Finally!" Jiraiya dug in with gusto, while Orochimaru and the others took smaller, neater bites.

All too soon the cake was gone and it was time for presents.

"Mine first mine first!" Jiraiya jumped up and down, waving his very flat wrapped present in the air.

"Nope! You can go last, _baka_," Tsunade laughed at him, only for her mother to scold her for her language. "Sorry. But you're still last! _Ojii-san_ gets first!"

With a smile Hashirama handed over his gift, a square box with a large golden bow on top. Inside was a set of wrist and arm weights, fit perfectly to the six year old.

"_Ojii-san!"_ the blonde girl immediately squealed, leaping up to embrace the _Hokage_. "Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome, Tsunade-_chan_," he replied warmly, hugging his granddaughter back. "Now maybe you should open your _obaa-san'_s gift."

Immediately the girl redirected her attention, focusing on the larger gift held by Mito. "May I?"

"Of course," Mito told her, holding it out. In less than two seconds the wrapping paper was gone, and Tsunade was holding a large book in her hands. "It's a tome on medical _ninjutsu_!" Tsunade crowed, hugging it close. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

Then she turned to her parents, but they shook their heads; their present to her would be revealed later. And so it was Orochimaru's turn.

"Here, Tsunade-_hime_," said softly, holding his present out. She took it from him gently, unwrapping it without tearing the paper.

"Oh!" Her entire face lit up as she gazed at it. It was a _very _accurate sketch of the _Hokage_ monument, and her whole family standing in front of it. "Thank you!" She moved quickly and embraced the boy in a hug, not seeing the blush that spread over his pale cheeks.

Jiraiya looked on bemused, enjoying his friend's discomfort. "Now for mine!"

Tsunade huffed before reaching out to take his present. When she opened it she found an upside down picture frame, and when she flipped it over… "_What?"_

"It's a picture of me!" the white haired boy told her proudly. "Now you can kiss me goodnight every night!" He was immediately hit over the head by an irate six year old.

Hashirama got a glance of the picture and doubled up laughing, as his wife simply put her head in her hands.

It was a picture of Jiraiya winking, his hair in disarray and without a top, and a thumbs up extended towards the camera.


	38. Secret Memories

So CarlaFox1997 left me a review on the previous ficlet - what if Tsunade finds that picture again after Jiraiya was dead? So I took it and ran =)

* * *

Secret Memories

Tsunade sighed, sitting back in her chair. Paperwork was a sure way to kill a brain faster than any other form of torture. The monotony, endless stacks…where was her _sake_?

The blonde _Hokage_ rooted around in her desk, looking for that one secret drawer she had kept from Shizune for just such emergencies as these. Where was the catch…oh, there it was.

With a _snick_, one of the wood panels in the desk popped out, revealing a hole in the desk only two people knew existed – well now, one. It had been built in by the _Shodaime_, passed down to the _Nidaime,_ then the _Sandaime_ as the _Nidaime's _student, and to her being the _Shodaime's_ granddaughter. All the previous owners of the desk were gone, leaving only Tsunade.

She reached in, pulling out that one special bottle of _sake_ she kept for certain occasions. Jiraiya had given it to her when he came back from one of his many missions, and it was how he had presented it to her that made it special.

Her fingers brushed against the other mementos she kept in that drawer and she smiled, pulling them out.

A hand drawn picture by Nawaki of both him and his older sister holding hands.

A pair of earrings from the _Shodaime_ for her seventh birthday.

A cute stuffed animal she had been given as a baby by her parents, uncannily looking like Katsuyu.

But there had been another…she reached into the desk again, and pulled out the flat photo, edges curled slightly with age. The frame had broken long ago, and while she had repaired it and put other photos in, this one was too special to keep far away.

It was the picture Jiraiya had given her on her sixth birthday – himself, shirtless, and a thumbs up directed at the camera.

Tsunade chuckled, remembering her reaction to the present. She had hit him so hard over the head Mito had to heal the boy right there in the family room, even while her grandfather was laughing hard enough to fall off the chair he was sitting on.

"You idiot," she whispered affectionately, running her fingertips over the spikes of his even then white hair. "You tried to do that again, but it was never quite as good as this one."


	39. Survivor

Why is it that the ones I think will be long are short and the short ones are long? Weird...

So sorry its been a while! This is the first time in two days I've had to sit down and think about something not homework or school related! You can thank Kaiser969 for the idea! And the last line. Enjoy!

* * *

Survivor

Tsunade and Shizune walked into the dingy building, their eyes adjusting to the gloom, and their noses to the stench.

"Tsunade-_sama_, why are we here?" Shizune asked cautiously, her eyes darting around. All around the building, almost filling it up, were pens, cages, and blankets, each occupied by an animal.

The blonde woman had taken her assistant with her to a pet center, deep in Waterfall country. Due to lack of funds, lighting was somewhat scarce, but the pets were well fed and groomed, and seemed happy enough.

There were dogs, cats, and rabbits, as well as rarer ferrets, hamsters, and even a couple mice. All looked up at the two women with hopeful eyes.

"I'm here to get a pet," Tsunade responded determinedly, setting off with a confident step into the chaos. A few people were running around carrying animals, food, water, and blankets to whichever place needed them. With skills honed from years of experience, the two women dodged the workers gracefully, making their way to the back of the room where a makeshift desk was set up.

"Can I help you?" the man seated there asked without looking up, his thick glasses focused on the papers spread before him.

"Yeah." Tsunade slammed her hands palm down on the wooden desk, shaking it so hard a few pencils fell off. "You can direct me to the special animals."

The man didn't flinch at all, simply looking up at the blonde woman. "We have some very well trained dogs, they can do any trick. Cats impeccably groomed, suited perfectly for house life. Rabbits you can let run the house and not worry about them leaving droppings anywhere. Ferrets –"

He was cut off as Tsunade sliced her hand in a negative gesture. "The _other_ specials."

This time he was startled, but didn't ask any questions, the glare on her face enough to quell any. Shizune followed like an obedient puppy as he led the two back into a small room behind his desk, with individualized open pens.

Inside were small, malnourished, scarred animals. Most flinched as the door opened, and Shizune didn't miss the softening on Tsunade's face as she took in their situations.

"Which one would you like?" the man asked, bored, as Tsunade's eyes skimmed the room.

In the corner was a young girl, nursing a pig from a bottle. The pig was quite small, probably the runt of its litter.

"That one." Tsunade pointed to the pig, and the girl looked up, her eyes wide.

"Her?" she asked tentatively, pointing to the pig, hope shining from her face. "You would take her?"

A brief nod was all Tsunade gave in response, but it was enough for the child. "Thank you!" she exclaimed, but didn't rise as the pig wasn't finished eating.

The blonde woman approached carefully, making no sudden movements that would startle the other occupants of the room. "What's her name?" she asked as she crouched down next to the girl, watching the pig eat.

"Tonton," the girl whispered shyly, not looking away from her charge. "We only got her recently. Will you take care of her?"

"Of course," came the gentle response. "I even have a present for her." The _kunoichi_ reached into her pocket, pulling out a string of pearls she carefully placed around the pig's neck as she finished eating. "Can you take care of her for me until I finish my business?"

A nod from the girl, and Tsunade turned back to the manager. "How much?"

"Hm?" he asked, dragging his eyes away from the ceiling.

"How much for Tonton?" Tsunade repeated, an edge growing in her voice.

"Oh, that," his eyes flicked to the pig. "You sure you want it? Probably won't live long."

"Yes I'm sure," Tsunade ground out as Shizune quickly moved forward to calm her mentor. "How much?"

The man backed up a step, feeling for the door. "You can have it for free. No charge." With that he escaped through to the main part of the building, leaving the three women alone.

"Thank you for taking her," the girl piped up from her spot in the corner. "She needs a real home, not to stay here."

"We're happy to take her," Shizune responded for Tsunade, smiling at the girl. "She deserves the best."

Tsunade moved forward once more, reaching forward and taking the now sleeping pig into her arms.

"_Puhi-puhi_," came a gentle sound of contentment from the mammal as she snuggled further into the warmth of Tsunade's body, and the woman grinned.

"Yes; just like me, she is a survivor."


	40. What Not to Expect

So! I got two dares: one from Ella Unlimited - use the line "Holy crap, I did NOT see that coming," - and one from addster - Naruto takes Tsunade out for ramenbefore he leaves to go train with Jiraiya

So I figured there was great laugh potential in the two being combined, and this is the result! Hope it's as good as it sounded in my head!

Oh and - YAY This is the 40th drabble! And THANK YOU TO ALL WHO REVIEWED I JUST HIT MY FIRST EVER 200 REVIEW MARK!

* * *

What Not to Expect

"Tsunade-_baa-chan_!" Naruto burst into the _Hokage's_ office, startling the blonde woman who was taking a sip of forbidden _sake_.

"N-Naruto!" she spluttered as soon as she had swallowed most of the liquid. "Don't just barge in here! Knock! I could have been in an important meeting!" She surreptitiously stowed the _sake_ bottle beneath the desk, hoping he hadn't seen it.

"I asked Shizune-_nee-chan_ and she said you were clear for the rest of the day," the boy retorted, running right up to the desk. "And that you were probably drinking," he added in a conspiratory whisper.

"I was doing no such thing!" Tsunade quickly denied, glaring at the _genin_.

"Sure, sure _baa-chan_, it doesn't matter to me," he waved his hand dismissively. "I just wanted to take you somewhere before me and _Ero-sennin _leave!"

"I'm busy!" The _Hokage_ quickly pulled a stack of papers in front of her, only for them to be knocked away.

"Not now you aren't!"

"Naruto…" she growled, glaring at the mess of papers decorating the floor. "I'm going to have to clean those up!"

"Clean them up later. Come now!" He put on his best cute face, cerulean eyes wide and slightly pouty lip.

"Fine, fine," Tsunade stood up from her desk. "Where are we going?"

"_Ramen!"_

"I should have known."

* * *

"_Ojii-san, _two bowls of miso and one beef!" Naruto yelled the moment they set foot in the stand.

"Ah, Naruto!" Teuchi came out to the front, grinning at his favorite customer. "And, _Hokage-sama_! It's a pleasure to see you here. What would you like?"

She grinned too, knowing just as well as he that Naruto's order was only for Naruto. "A beef ramen would be great."

"Coming right up!"

"Naruto, has Jiraiya told you where you were going yet?" the blonde woman wondered – he had been deliberately sparse with his details to her.

"Nope! All he said was we'd be traveling around and he'd train me."

"That no-good, lazy, perverted –" Tsunade muttered under her breath, only to be cut off.

"Do I hear a lovely lady talking about me?"

One eye-twitch later and a fast reaction, Jiraiya was laying on the ground clutching his head where Tsunade's fist had connected. "That was uncalled for!"

"You were behind me," Tsunade told him, unrepentant. "You should have expected it."

"Yeah, yeah," the toad sage muttered, getting up and sitting next to the two. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking her out for ramen before we leave!" Naruto butted in from his spot on the other side of Tsunade.

"Like you have the money to pay for both your appetite and her monstrous one, _gaki!_" Jiraiya chuckled, only to break off as Tsunade hit him again.

"What did you say about me?"

"Only that such a pretty lady as you shouldn't have to pay for your food!" he quickly backtracked, pasting an innocent expression on his face.

"That's what I thought."

Ten bowls of ramen later, nine of Naruto's and one of Tsunade's, they were done.

"That will be a thousand _ryou_!" Teuchi grinned, holding his hands out for the money that was sure to be forthcoming.

"A thousand! Man, Naruto, you sure can eat. How are you going to make up for all that money while we're off training?" Jiraiya grinned.

No answer. "Naruto?" He looked to his left to see two empty stools and the bowls arranged in a smiley face. "Naruto?"

His eyes quickly shifted back to the still grinning shopkeeper, who was growing slightly menacing. "Holy crap, I did _not_ see that coming."

Two stands away, Naruto and Tsunade were doubled over laughing as Jiraiya frantically dug in his pockets for the change while Teuchi loomed over him.


	41. The Secret Compartment

At addster's request, the secret compartment in the desk of the _Hokage_ makes a reappearance! Only this time its Sarutobi reaching inside to his memories. Enjoy!

* * *

The Secret Compartment

Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed, relaxing back in his chair after another long day of paperwork as the _Hokage_. Sometimes he didn't even know why he had taken the job from his _sensei_ with the amount of work he had to put in. Oh yes. It was because he had wanted to protect his village and its young students, just like Tsunade, Orochimaru and Jiraiya.

Thinking of his former students, Sarutobi straightened, reaching under his desk for a secret catch that had been shown to him by the _Nidaime_. It opened a hidden compartment in the old wooden desk, a place to keep treasures for no one else to find. Ah. There it was.

A wooden flap popped open on his right, and Sarutobi reached in, feeling a few different items. He pulled them out one by one, reliving each memory.

A crushed metal bell.

He had assigned his team to get two bells from him, while the one who didn't would be tied to a pole while the other two ate lunch. Both Tsunade and Orochimaru managed to get the bells, while Jiraiya was far too noisy and loud to sneak up on him.

But when Tsunade found out they all passed because of the teamwork they showed, she had crushed the bell in anger of being on the same team with Jiraiya, who called her flat chested.

A hand written letter, with flowing script.

Orochimaru had written it in thank you to his _sensei_ for his support with learning a _jutsu_ from each element. He had aspired to master all five, and before he had defected, Sarutobi was sure he had.

A sheaf of papers, covered in scribbles and cross outs.

Jiraiya's first attempt at a novel, and he had shown it only to his _sensei_ to get his opinion on it. Once he had grasped some of the finer points of writing, he had no longer wanted to manuscript and gifted it to Sarutobi for his help in starting his authors career.

A picture of all four of them.

It was the standard team picture – a _sensei_ and their three students. Since his students had been so short at age six, Sarutobi had to crouch behind them in order not to tower over the three.

Orochimaru had been in the middle, the calm in the storm of two quick tempered teammates, and the peacemaker. Jiraiya and Tsunade stood on either side, Jiraiya creating a funny face and Tsunade looking prim and proper as the granddaughter of the _Hokage_ should. That was until Jiraiya pulled her ponytail right after the picture and a squabble had broken out. Sarutobi had been thankful the picture was seconds earlier.

Such good memories, so long ago now. All three of his students had left Konoha to scatter across the continent, and rarely returned back to their home village – one had defected, one sworn never to come back, and the third was out spying most of the time.

But he still had those precious memories.


	42. A Bad Dream

This was another challenge from addster! "Gai has a youthful challenge for his eternal rival, Kakashi. Who looks sexiest in a loin cloth?" You can tell by the topic its gonna get bad. But hillarious! So prepare yourself for some slight disturbingness...as always accompanies Gai.

* * *

A Bad Dream

"My eternal rival!" Kakashi heard the call from all the way down the street where he was walking reading his amazing – no, masterful, no, coveted – book.

_No, please no more challenges…_he begged internally, turning to face the bowl cut _jounin_ running down the road towards him.

"Kakashi! I have a challenge for you!" Gai yelled, oblivious to Kakashi's very visible face-palm.

"Hm?" The silver haired _jounin_ took advantage of Gai's distraction to act as though he hadn't reacted at all, and pretended indifference.

"Prepare yourself, for this challenge I shall surely win with my youthfulness!" Gai was practically bursting with excitement. "For this challenge consists of – _who looks better in a loincloth!"_

And with that he whipped out two of the contraptions – in the middle of the street – to Kakashi's complete mortification. He could feel the blush creeping up his neck and was once again glad his mask and _hitai-ate_ hid all of his face but his eye.

"Did you say something?" The only way to sidetrack Gai was to pretend nonchalance and ignore any of his flamboyant actions. Kakashi kept his nose buried in his book and didn't look at those – monstrosities – Gai was waving around like flags.

Everyone in the street had stopped to stare at the _jounin _for a few minutes, but Gai was well known for his eccentricities, and the general population of Konoha had learned to ignore it.

"My eternal rival, you are a master of coolness, but I shall not let you defeat me this time!" Gai deflated slightly, but rallied himself to greater heights of enthusiasm. "This is a matter of honor! Now that you have been challenged you must accept this battle of youthfulness and spirit!"

Kakashi snapped his book shut with a sigh. "Gai. Seeing who is sexier in a loincloth is not a decent challenge. It does not require skill, strength, or wit. Just good looks – which I would obviously win."

Crap. He should _not_ have mentioned sexy in a street filled with potential fangirls. All of a sudden the two men were surrounded by many women, all pressing closer in an attempt to convince the two men to complete the challenge right there on the street.

"Kakashi?" Gai's voice had a slight tinge of fear to it, although the man would never admit such a thing. "What did you do?"

"Just follow my lead," the masked _jounin_ muttered back, edging away from the crowd. He pitched his voice to carry over the crowd. "Look! There's Uchiha Sasuke wearing one of these!" He grabbed a loincloth and pegged it over the crowd. Dozens of eyes tracked its movement until it slapped right into a surprised Sasuke's face.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" The squeal from the throats of the many women shook the street.

"Now, _run_!" Kakashi urged Gai before following his own advice. They made for the roofs, only to run straight into two people.

"You didn't think you'd get away that easily, did you?" asked one of the women, grinning evilly.

* * *

"This is all your fault," grumbled a trussed up Sasuke to his _sensei_, who was tied equally as tight on his right.

"Don't blame me," Kakashi groused back, attempting to gesture with his bound hands to the man on the other side of him. "It was all Gai's idea. And now I'm blind." He couldn't look to his right, not after the last time...

The three males were bound by their hands to poles behind them, each dressed in one of Gai's horrendous 'loincloths'.

"But this means I win the challenge!" Gai grinned happily.

"Gai-_sensei_!" came Lee's voice from in front of the three. "What are you doing there?"

"Ah, Lee, my pupil!" Gai greeted him. "I challenged my eternal rival in a competition of youthfulness as to who looked sexier in a loincloth!"

Lee's eyes lit up like flames. "Yosh! I too shall compete in this competition! Sasuke, I shall beat you!"

"No, no, no…" Kakashi groaned, banging his head against his pole as the boy ran off. "This is just a bad dream…a bad dream…"


	43. How to Bet

So I got this as another line dare from Ella Unlimited - '"I win," he whispered a grin spreading over his face maliciously. "I actually won!"' - and therefore I must use that exact wording! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

How to Bet

"How do you feel about a bit of gambling?" Jiraiya appeared in the window of the _Hokage _office, grinning at Tsunade.

The blonde woman looked up from her paperwork, her eyes lighting up. "You have to ask?"

"I thought you would say that!" The man hopped into the room, hands hidden behind his back. "So I brought a game to gamble on. But before we begin, or I show it to you, we must name the stakes!"

"Stakes?" Her eyebrow raised, Tsunade regarded her old teammate.

"Sure, what's gambling without stakes?" he smirked amicably. "You first."

"Fine," she sighed, leaning back in her chair. "If I win…you have to buy Naruto ramen every day for a month."

"Every day for a month!" His eyes shot out, incredulous. "Are you insane woman? That would break my bank account!" Then he grinned evilly. "Such a wager has to be met by one of equal value. If I win you have to go on a date with me once a week for a year."

Now it was Tsunade's turn to be disbelieving. "Fifty-two dates in a year? With _you?_"

"Those are the stakes, take it or leave it!" Jiraiya taunted her, knowing she couldn't resist the gamble.

"I'll take it, and I'll win it!" she immediately shot back, clearing a space on her desk. "What's the game?"

"_Chou Han Bakuchi_!" the man declared, pulling his hands from behind his back, displaying the cup and dice.

"Hah! I'll beat you at that one hands down, it's a fifty-fifty chance!" Tsunade stated triumphantly. "Even my luck can't make me lose every single one."

"Famous last words."

"Actions talk louder than words," she countered.

"Then let us begin. Fifty rounds, whoever has the most wins gets their bet."

"Then begin," she gestured imperiously at the clear desk top.

He shook the dice officially in the cup and slammed it down on the wood.

"_Chou_!" she declared, confident. The cup lifted. Seven.

Again they were shaken. This time Jiraiya stated, "_Han._" Three.

The mark was scratched on a notebook he had set up to the side.

"_Han._" Four.

"_Chou_." Eleven.

"_Han_." Two.

"_Han_." Five.

_"Han_." Twelve.

The score was thirteen to zero, and Tsunade was losing her mind.

"_Chou_." One. "Yes! I got one!" she crowed, eagerly marking it down on the notebook.

"_Han_." Eight. "To my fourteen," Jiraiya grinned at her.

"Shut up. _Han_." Nine.

"_Chou_." Three.

"_Chou_." Ten.

Twenty four to one and Tsunade was frantic. It wasn't that going on fifty two dates with Jiraiya was a bad thing, but it was the principle of the matter. She had denied him for so long, only to lose it on a gamble…

"_Han_." Eleven.

Tsunade held her breath as the cup was flipped and Jiraiya's turn was begun. "_Han_," he declared with finality. The cup was lifted ever so slowly…two.

"I win," he whispered a grin spreading over his face maliciously. "I actually  
won!" Then he pointed gleefully at the irate blonde woman. "You have to go on fifty two dates with me!"

"You never said what year I had to do it," she laughed at him. "I choose five years from now!"

"No fair!" His cry could be heard echoing across the village.


	44. Crazy Business

Okay, I honestly apologize, this is such a crack-drabble. I have no idea how to write Orochimaru and Kabuto XP Idea was suggested by Freewolf17 and Kaiser969 to the prompt from addster - "Orochimaru and Kabuto after their first meeting with Tsunade and what they did during their week break" It doesn't quite match exactly what I did with the other prompts but really...I had no ideas...

Hope its somewhat decent...

* * *

Crazy Business

"Orochimaru-_sama_," Kabuto began tentatively as he and his mentor left the town of Tanzaku behind and Tsunade with it, "what are we going to do during the week we allowed Tsunade to decide?"

A truly sinister smile slid over the man's face, despite his useless arms. "We shall perform the ultimate marketing move," he replied silkily. "Did you see how Tsunade weakened Tanzaku castle? We shall force her to destroy it, and then sell our own miniature replicas of the pride of Tanzaku!"

Kabuto frowned in disbelief at his master's statement, but quickly cleared his expression. "That sound's perfect," he replied politely. "How shall we do such a thing?"

"_You,_" and Orochimaru put emphasis on the pronoun, "will go and gather many workers and materials, and begin production. If they are not satisfactory by the end of the week…" he trailed off menacingly.

"_Hai, _Orochimaru-_sama_!"

* * *

"Kabuto!" Orochimaru summoned his assistant imperatively. "How goes production?"

"We have duplicated everything down to the miniature cracks in the stone!" Kabuto reported, snapping to attention in front of his master.

"And the materials?"

"Set to degrade three days after exposure to keep them coming back for more."

"Perfect," the snake man hissed, his eyes slitting in glee. "This shall be the best marketing scam in existence!"

"Orochimaru-_sama_, for what do we need the money?"

"You think bandits come cheap?" Orochimaru scoffed, shooting a look at his assistant.

"I thought you terrified them, not paid them."

"Well, the food and water…"

"Which you stole…"

"The cages! And the excavation of the mountains…"

"The workers of which you killed before paying them…"

"If you really must know," Orochimaru lowered his voice conspiratorially, "I'm saving it."

"For what?" Kabuto's interest was peaked, to put it mildly.

"For when…I perfect my rebirth _jutsu_ in order to buy an eternal supply of eggs!"

Kabuto almost fell on the floor in shock. "_Really?"_

"No you idiot!"

"My apologies Orochimaru-_sama_."

"Prepare the replicas for quick sales, we shall have to move fast after the castle is destroyed!"

"_Hai_, Orochimaru-_sama_!"

* * *

"That could have gone much better," Kabuto commented, rubbing his chest after that Naruto boy had drilled a Ransengan into it.

"But it could also have gone much worse," Orochimaru cackled. "While my arms may still be useless, sales have already skyrocketed!"

"Yes, our production and sales rates are through the roof," Kabuto agreed, looking at the sheet in front of him. "So where do we go after we fix your arms, to destroy Konoha?"

"No," Orochimaru grinned, cackling at some plan.

"No? But I thought you wanted revenge on…"

"I have better plans now! We shall create a factory the likes of which was never seen here in Tanzaku and expand our business to Konoha until we have taken it over!"

"_Hai,_ Orochimaru-_sama_," Kabuto bowed once and quickly escaped his quite possibly insane, cackling master.


	45. The Allure of Power

This was a dare from addster! Jiraiya and Minato are talking about being Hokage and how all the ladies love a man with power.

Except then my thoughts began to wander and it went slightly off track...^^; Enjoy!

* * *

The Allure of Power

"Minato my boy!" Jiraiya swung into the office of the newly appointed _Yondaime Hokage_. "How does it feel to have all the power?"

"_Sensei_," the blond man rose from his seat to greet his teacher. "What brings you by?"

"I wanted to impart a little knowledge to my favorite student," he grinned, winking at the younger man.

"What kind of knowledge?" Minato asked warily, eyeing his _sensei_.

"Oh, just some important life lessons," the white-haired _sannin_ immediately decried. "Number one. Women love a man in power."

"What do you mean?"

"Power acts as an allure, women are drawn to it like a magnet," Jiraiya launched into the explanation with gusto. "The more power you have, the more likely they are to come flocking to you."

"Like you?" Minato looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Precisely!" Jiraiya crowed, glad his student was understanding already. "I am one of the _Sannin_, the three most elite _shinobi_ known across the continent. Women come crawling to me, just because of the aura I exclude, and when they find out my name," he winked lecherously.

"So you're basically abusing your power."

"No no, no such thing! They love me, and I keep them happy!" Another lecherous grin.

"Oh? Then what about Tsunade-_sama_?"

"Pft. She's immune to the allures of power because she possesses so much of her own," Jiraiya defended. "If she didn't have nearly as much she would appreciate the charms of the great Jiraiya!"

Minato grinned, enjoying teasing his teacher. "So you're saying Tsunade has more power than you because you're continuously chasing her?"

"Hey!" The white-haired man glared indignantly at the new _Hokage_. "I do not chase her! I simply follow her and appreciate – "

"You pine after her," Minato stated bluntly. "Have you ever heard your drunk ramblings?"

"This isn't supposed to be about me," Jiraiya swiftly countered, trying to change the topic. "This is about your new amount of power and fending off all the hordes of fangirls!"

"And avoiding Kushina's wrath?"

"And avoiding Kushina's wrath." The two men shuddered in unison.


	46. What Did We Do?

So this is in response to a dare from Ella Unlimited - Tsunade and Jiraya walk into a bar together- completely by accident, neither knew where the other was, and begin talking.

Again I kind of ended up modifying it slightly...^^; Gotta stop doing that.

Anyway as a warning to any innocent 9 year olds that happen to read this (as unlikely as that is)...it's a bit suggestive later? Not that that really matters probably XP Its very very light. Anyway.

So yeah, enjoy!

* * *

What Did We Do?

"Brown hair, check. Ripped body, check. Height – " he looked down at the ground, contemplating the distance. "Check. Operation pick up is go!"

The tall, brown-haired man swaggered into the bar, snagging a stool and sitting on it casually next to a blonde chick who had her back turned to him.

"Bartender, a bottle of _sake_!" he called, raising his hand authoritatively. "And one for the lovely lady next to me!"

"Thanks," her voice floated back over her shoulder. "But I'm not interested."

"Are you sure I can't get you interested with a few more?" he asked her, signaling for the barkeep to bring a few more bottles.

"We'll see how well they go down," she replied suggestively, reaching for the first of four bottles.

It only took three. The woman had turned to face him then, her face a blushing pink color from the alcohol's effect. He too was pretty drunk, unable to see completely clearly, although the woman seemed to have a slight resemblance to his teammate. But she wasn't here surely…

"So, big guy," the woman purred, reaching for his elbow. "What do you say we take this somewhere else?"

"I could be easily convinced to that idea." He stood up, stumbling slightly as he attempted to keep his balance. "I know just the place."

They stumbled through the streets, leaning on each other for balance, and eventually fell through the door, as the man fumbled for the light switch.

"You won't need that," the woman told him, yanking him away.

* * *

Jiraiya stirred, stretching to relieve his muscles. For some odd reason they were loose, but tired. He paused as his arm brushed up against something in his bed – something…warm?

"Mmmmm," came a murmur from next to him, and the white-haired man turned his head to look at the form beside him. Blonde hair, a pale shoulder…

The woman rolled over, her eyes still closed as she enjoyed a slow waking up.

_No way…_Jiraiya thought, staring at the woman's face. _There is no way I slept with Tsunade…_

Her amber eyes opened. "Jiraiya? What are you doing in my…" her voice trailed off as she noticed his bare chest and her own state of undress. "What the _hell_ happened last night!"

"I don't know!" he immediately defended, scrambling out of the bed. Mercifully he was wearing his boxers, preserving his modesty. "And it's _my_ bed!"

"I don't give a damn whose bed it is, I want to know why we were sharing it!" Tsunade was growling right now, her _chakra_ almost emanating off of her in waves.

"I'd assume the five bottles of _sake_ we shared had something to do with it!"

"Hey, a brown-haired guy bought those for me, not some albino…no…" her eyes widened in shock. "That was _you?_"

"You must have been really out of it not to sense a _henge_," Jiraiya quipped, edging for the door. "I never knew it was you anyway."

"But did we…"

"I don't _think_ so…but you can never be one hundred percent sure with such a good looking man as I…" the white-haired man immediately fled as random items began flying in his general direction.

"You better not come back until I'm gone, _pervert_!"


	47. Prank King

This was a dare from Ella Unlimited (I love dares give me more!) - "A night within the two years that Naruto spent with Jiriya training- can be anything from man to man talking to Naruto snooping through his packs and finding one of Jiriya's rough drafts." I thought the last idea had very much merit for funniness, so here goes!

* * *

Prank King

_"Ero-sennin?"_ Naruto asked the darkness quietly, trying to see if his mentor was awake. "_Ero-sennin_?"

A snore was his only answer, the man being out cold from his 'researching' at a bar that evening.

"Oi, wake up!" the boy whispered harshly, glaring in the direction of the sound. But nothing happened.

He had finished the second stage of the Ransengan, and now the stupid pervert wasn't even awake for him to gloat at!

Well, there were other things he could do to occupy his time.

Naruto turned on the lights in the room, not caring if it woke the drunken man up, and searched the room for his mentor's pack. Maybe some of that money Jiraiya had taken for 'safe-keeping' was still in there – if he hadn't spent it all on _sake_.

"I'm going to search your pack," he announced to the room at large, just so he could say he had permission. Another snore. "That means I can!"

Naruto flipped off the top of the pack, immediately reaching inside to feel around for whatever it was the man kept so secret. All that met his searching fingertips were…books. Journals. Hardbound things that were filled with paper.

Curious as to why the pervert protected them so aggressively, the blond boy pulled one out, cracking the cover to read what was inside.

"His hands reached out, grasping the door handle. As soon as he opened it…"

Naruto's eyes widened as he read further down the page. "What _is_ this?"

He had seen that passage somewhere before…back in Konoha…when he went to do research for his _Oiroke no jutsu._ It had been in a book next to all those pictures of women…and he had opened it to see why it was in that section.

Naruto immediately flipped back to the cover, reading the title and author in disbelief. "_Icha Icha Paradise, _author Jiraiya?"

His head whipped from the book to the white haired man sprawled on the floor, back to the book. "_He wrote those books Kaka-sensei is always reading?_"

Very curious now, he immediately began rooting through the pack once more, pulling out other published books and journals full of plans for new books.

No wonder that pack was guarded as though it was his life.

Then Naruto grinned. Jiraiya was always messing with him, and the blond boy was the prank king. Why not mess with him back?

Working quickly, he pulled out one of his own scrolls, sealing all of Jiraiya's books and notes into it. Then he created as many _kage bunshin_ as there were books, and transformed them all into exact lookalikes. These he carefully placed back in the man's bag, and put the backpack in its previous position.

He couldn't wait to see the pervert's reaction.

* * *

The next day the two sat down for a break on the same hill where Naruto had been training for the past seven days, and Jiraiya reached for his backpack to write some of his story as usual.

He pulled out the right journal, opened it up to his last page…but it was _blank_. "Wha –" he began in surprise, only to yelp as the book disappeared in his hands.

He reached into his backpack quickly once more to check if the other books were all right, but every time he opened one, it _vanished_ in a puff of smoke.

After the third book Naruto was rolling on the ground in laughter, and Jiraiya was glaring at the boy. "_Gaki,_ what did you _do?"_

"You'll have to catch me first!" Naruto managed to gasp out, before he too disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Get back here, _gaki!"_ Jiraiya's yell echoed across the town.

In an alleyway near the hotel, the blond boy clutched the scroll containing all the books to him, tears of mirth streaming down his face.


	48. He is Worthy

A very short drabble from a prompt by addster - Tsunade and Jiraiya after the epic sannin fight, like maybe what they discuss while they're waiting for Naruto to wake up."

Enjoy!

* * *

He is Worthy

"Tsunade?" Jiraiya's voice broke the blonde woman from her trance, staring out the window. She had woken up three days ago from the fight, her body somewhat recovered from all the damage done to it under Shizune's expert care.

"Hm?" She didn't tear her eyes from the blue sky, not a cloud in sight. It reminded her of…

"You can't stay away from him forever," Jiraiya continued, moving in front of her vision. She had to move his eyes from his chest, focusing on the floorboards next to his foot.

"I know," was all she would say.

"Look at me." His hand appeared under her chin, forcing her eyes up until they met his. "It's not your fault."

"It is!" she cried, ripping her chin from his grasp. "If I hadn't frozen up –"

"Don't give me that." His voice was unusually harsh. "You overcame it for _him_. _You_ defended him. What happened in the past –"

"–happened in the past, I know," she cut him off. "That doesn't make it any better. The vessels to his heart were almost completely severed! He came so close to death; he almost _did _die!"

"And you took a sword though your chest to save him."

"But –"

"Stop it. You need to go see him. Now." Jiraiya grasped her arm gently, pulling the unresisting blonde woman from her chair. "Maybe you can forgive yourself then."

He led her down the corridor to Naruto's room, where the boy lay prone on the bed. His eyes were closed and face relaxed, but Tsunade's eyes were immediately drawn to every scar, from the one on his hand to the invisible one she knew was on his heart.

Then a glitter caught her eyes. Almost involuntarily, they were drawn to the blue crystal resting on his chest; her legacy.

"It won't end up like Nawaki or Dan this time," Jiraiya's voice rumbled from behind her. "He's strong. You saw just how strong. He is worthy of it."

"Yes he is," she whispered.


	49. That Book

A dare from Ella Unlimited! *I still have 2 more lined up after this but welcoming any others!* - "Team Seven decides to ask Kakashi how he got the small book that he's constantly reading."

Enjoy!

* * *

That Book

"Kaka-_sensei_?" Naruto's head popped into Kakashi's vision as he leaned against the tree reading his favorite orange book. "Whatcha reading?"

"Hm?" The lazy _jounin_ turned his one visible eye to look at his student. "Just a good book."

"But you've had it forever!" the blond boy pestered, trying to lean around to read the upside-down text. "And you're _never_ done reading it! Where did you get it?"

Over by the tree Sakura and Sasuke perked up from where they had been resting, interested to hear their _sensei's_ answer.

"I got it," Kakashi began dramatically, eye twinkling, "from the greatest writer to ever walk this earth, the great Jiraiya-_sama_."

Sakura almost fell off her rock. "The Jiraiya-_sama_?" she questioned excitedly. "One of the three greatest _shinobi_ in all of Konoha's history, one of the three _Sannin_, Jiraiya?"

"Yup! That's the one!" Kakashi confirmed, slightly scared of her enthusiasm for the topic. "He gave it to me personally, signed it and all."

Sakura was almost a blur rushing over to see the alleged signature, ripping the orange book from the unsuspecting man's hands.

"H-Hey!" he protested the moment he realized it was gone, staring at the pinkette as though she had gone insane.

Sasuke slouched over and the three _genin _clustered around the book, searching for Jiraiya's signature from front cover to back. As Sakura paged through the book, she caught glimpses of some of the words on the page…

"Wait a moment." She stopped on a random page that had caught her attention, quickly skimming the text. The further she read, the redder she got…behind her she could hear Sasuke spluttering and Naruto's eyes were growing wider.

"This is…"

"_Sensei! What are you doing reading porn?"_ Naruto screeched, a quivering finger pointing at the man who began to laugh.

"Well written porn," he told them, plucking the book from Sakura's loose, trembling hands. "Written and signed by the great Jiraiya-_sama_ himself!"

"H-He…y-you…" Sakura's brain was in overload, and soon it was too much. She crumpled to the ground, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth.

Behind her Sasuke wasn't in a much better state, staring off into the distance and lips moving as though doing calculations or possibly just trying to assimilate the information.

Only Naruto seemed functional. "_That makes you a pervert!"_


	50. At the Beach

Okay I honestly have NO IDEA if this one is any good. I had a great dare - 'And the sea went on forever, a never ending supply of blues and greens. It took his/her breath away. "Wow..." they murmured softly, more to themselves than anyone else.' - from Ella Unlimited, but then it kind of shot off in its own direction, and I wasn't really sure how well I portrayed it.

Please tell me if I should rewrite it...since its number 50 - :O - I want to do a really good job on it...

* * *

At the Beach

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Tsunade came up behind Naruto, her eyes focused on the ocean in front of her.

The blond boy was staring transfixed at the panorama before him; the sea went on forever, a never ending supply of blues and greens. It took his breath away. "Wow..." he murmured softly, more to himself than anyone else.

He had convinced both her and Jiraiya to take him up to the land part of his heritage hailed from, the land of the Whirlpool.

The white-haired man came up behind the boy, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Never seen the ocean, eh?" he laughed, gazing out over the rolling waves as well. "Wait till you get even closer. Then you can taste the salt in the air, feel the ocean spray…"

He was speaking to thin air as the boy took off, leaving an afterimage in his haste to get closer.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow at her dumbstruck teammate before following Naruto, at about the same fast pace, leaving Jiraiya quickly in the distance.

By the time she had caught up, Naruto was kneeling next to the ocean, not caring how the rolling waves soaked him. He was marveling at a handful of sand, seeing the different shells caught between the grains and simply enjoying the texture.

"Have you been here before?" he asked her, looking up with childish glee painted on his face.

"Once," she told him, grinning at his happiness. "And you know what I learned?"

"What?"

"This!" She scooped up a handful of water and threw it in his face, running into the ocean without regard for her own clothes.

He was stunned for a moment, tasting the salt saturated water, then jumped up and threw his handful of sand after her, which she quickly dodged.

"Hey, no starting a fight without me!" Jiraiya called from behind the boy, and before Naruto could react, a pile of sand was dumped over his head, collecting in his hair and the collar of his jacket.

"No fair, _Ero-sennin!_" Naruto yelled in surprise, scooping up a handful of sand and whirling around to throw it right in his mentor's face.

As the white haired man spluttered on a mouthful of sand, Naruto followed Tsunade's example, taking to the water to escape.

What he didn't count on were the waves, and Tsunade stifled a giggle as she watched the boy lose his footing and fall, bowled over by a crashing wave.

Just before he came back up, she ducked under the water herself, making like a beeline for his legs and yanked them, taking him down once more.

The surprise on his face was worth it as he shot under water, cheeks puffed out with air and eyes wide.

She just grinned at him and waved, before taking off underwater like a torpedo, swimming away as fast as she could.

But then Jiraiya appeared in front of her like a roadblock, preventing any forward movement. Before she could dodge around him, she was picked up in the air, wriggling and yelling at him to "_put her down now!_" then she was flying, airborne across the water.

A huge fountain crashed up as she landed, and she popped right back up, glaring daggers at the guffawing man.

Naruto looked over at her, a grin spreading his lips wide, motioning with his hand.

One quick nod later the two had split up, Naruto making a _Kage bunshin_ and throwing himself at Jiraiya, skimming the water, while Tsunade ducked under, swimming straight for the man's legs.

They timed it perfectly. The moment Tsunade grabbed Jiraiya's legs, Naruto crashed into his torso, getting a good grip on the _Sannin's_ arms as he took him down.

They both stood up in the waist deep water, pulling the white haired man up with them, strung between the two like a hammock out to dry.

"Count of three," Naruto declared cheerfully, beginning to swing the protesting man.

"One," Tsunade chuckled, grinning at her teammate's stricken face.

"Two," Naruto continued, swinging him wider.

"Three!" they both called together, releasing the man at the pinnacle of the swing.

Jiraiya flew high and far, shouting curses all the way. The fountain of water that sprung up at his point of impact let the two know just how hard he had fallen.

"Lesson: How to take down Jiraiya at the beach, complete," Tsunade smirked at the cackling boy. "Last time it was Sarutobi-_sensei_."


	51. Survival

Good, bad, great, horrible? Pounded this out in under ten minutes before I have to leave to a dare by addster - the sannin are kids and Sarutobi takes them to the forest of death for a "camping trip".

Yay for inspiration. Enjoy!

* * *

Survival

"Sarutobi-_sensei_," Tsunade whined, brushing yet _another_ patch of dirt off her shirt, "why do we have to camp _here?_"

"Because this is the best place for you to train your reflexes," the man answered patiently, setting up his tent. "You'll never learn if you keep having me take watch."

"But you're the most experienced!" Jiraiya complained from his spot on an old tree stump. The wooden base was larger than three times his body, and his legs dangled high above the ground.

"Sarutobi-_sensei_ is right," Orochimaru told his teammates quietly from his spot by the campfire. "At some point, we will have to learn to wake at a moments notice, or the slightest sound."

"Hmph." Tsunade stuck her tongue out at the black haired boy. "Then you should take first watch!"

"Gladly," he retorted. "Deadman's watch is always the worst anyway."

That night, both Jiraiya and Tsunade were fast asleep, rolled up in their sleeping bags, each in their own tent.

Orochimaru was standing on the same tree stump Jiraiya had been on earlier, gazing up at the stars barely visible through the tree tops. "Wha –" He spun around quickly as he felt a presence behind him, _kunai_ instantly in hand.

"Shhh," Sarutobi gestured to his student to remain quiet, a finger to his lips. Then he beckoned to the boy, leading him further away from camp.

"They have to learn sometime," Sarutobi told the curious Orochimaru, pulling out some _shinobi_ wire with a few _kunai _attached.

Seeing what his _sensei_ had in mind, the boy just grinned.

Tsunade stirred in her sleeping bag, shifting uncomfortably. She must not have cleared out all of the twigs and debris under her tent, because something was digging into her back. And for that matter her legs and the rest of her body as well…

She heard Jiraiya's yell and sat up quickly, trying to see what was the matter. The moment her eyes locked onto his body, she froze.

The white haired boy was suspended on a net of _shinobi_ wire, strung over a deep blue lake. His arms were bound tight by his sleeping bag as he attempted to keep his balance and not fall through one of the many holes in the net.

"Tsu-na-de!" he called, flailing desperately. "Help me!"

Wait. If he was on a net…what was she…Tsunade looked to her left and down, trying to see what she was on. No. Way.

Instead of resting on a net of wire like Jiraiya was, Tsunade was in a cradle made of the stuff, loops around most of her body, supporting her. They were just tight enough that she couldn't wiggle her arms or legs free, but loose enough if she moved too much she could slip out of them, falling into the water encased in her sleeping bag.

Then her eyes zeroed in on the two males laughing on the bank. "You two!" she screeched, indignant. "What did you do?"

"You had to learn, Tsunade-_chan_," Sarutobi managed to call through his laughs, watching both his students struggle. "Someday you won't wake up and you'll be in a much worse situation.

"Get me down!" she yelled at him, trying not to move.

"No way!" Orochimaru told her, giggling at her predicament. "Find your own way down, Tsunade-_hime."_

In front of the blonde girl there was a splash as Jiraiya lost the battle with the net, falling into the water with a drawn out "Noooo!"

"Get me down no –" Tsunade's order was cut off as she too slipped out of her trap, falling like a stone into the water. It was _cold_. Five seconds later, she had shed the cumbersome sleeping bag and was standing on top of the water, death in her eyes.

Jiraiya crawled up on the surface of the water as well, glaring furiously at his _sensei_ and teammate.

"You. Will. Pay. For. This!" Tsunade growled, and took off at a dead run for the two males, Jiraiya right on her tail.

"Orochimaru-_kun_, it is time for another lesson," Sarutobi began, watching their progress across the lake. "How to save your own skin!"

With that the two dashed away into the Forest of Death, desperately trying to avoid the furious _kunoichi_.


	52. A Betrothed?

Ah! Why is it that the ones I think will be short are long and long are short! I do not understand this.

Anyway, this is response to another dare, from Ella Unlimited - Naruto somehow manages to get a girlfriend on the two years he spends with Jiraiya as they're staying in a village... how does the pervert react to the news?

Its a really good dare, I just have no idea what I did! So tell me if I needa rewrite this. Cause...yeah.

* * *

A Betrothed!

"Hey, _gaki_, where have you been?" Jiraiya called as he heard Naruto enter the cluster of rooms the two had been staying in.

"Out," the fourteen year old called vaguely, placing his bag on the floor of his room.

"Out?" Jiraiya immediately perked up. Normally Naruto gave a detailed description of where he had gone and what had happened immediately upon arrival, but this time…"Out where?"

"Just out," he responded, appearing in the doorframe of the room.

Jiraiya's eyes were immediately drawn to the boy. He wasn't in his normal orange jumpsuit, and that alone had his curiosity piqued. "What are you wearing?"

"Hm?" Naruto looked down at his clothes as though he had forgotten what he wore. "Just some clothes _baa-chan_ got for me."

A white eyebrow shot up. "Talkative, aren't you."

"Fine. If you need to know, I was on a date with my girlfriend."

Immediately Jiraiya's eyes bugged out. "You have a girlfriend! When did _that_ happen?"

"The second day we were here," Naruto replied, eyeing his mentor warily.

"Oh?" A leer began to form. "What does she look like?"

"None of your business."

"Oh come on!"

"Nope."

"Fine. Sit down boy, it's time we had a talk." Jiraiya ordered, pointing at the floor in front of him.

With a skeptical expression, Naruto settled himself on the floor, not sure what to expect.

"Now," Jiraiya began officially, "I am going to instruct you on the necessities of knowledge regarding women. Lesson one –" he raised a finger to cut off Naruto's protest. "How to woo one. Find out what she likes, and make sure to buy her it at the soonest chance. When you go shopping offer everything at your treat, and don't let her buy a single thing. Offer to go window shopping, and when something catches her eye, admire it. Got it?" The finger lowered, pointing at the boy.

"Yeah yeah, buy her everything she wants, admire what she likes. I _know _all this. Why do I have to –"

"Lesson two. Manners. I know you never had formal training in this category," he commented disparagingly, "so listen closely. When she goes to sit down, pull out her chair. Take her jacket from her, and hang it on the back, or a coatrack if available. Always walk her back to her door when the date is over, and never, _never_," his eyes twinkled, "forget that kiss goodnight."

"Ew, kissing!" Naruto exclaimed, rocking backwards from his spot on the floor. "Gross!"

"Gross!" Jiraiya was outraged. "Kissing is only the first part of one of the best parts of life! How can it be gross?"

"It's disgusting!" Naruto retorted, glaring up at the man. "Why would you want to – ew!"

Jiraiya heaved a sigh, shaking his head in dismay. "You have much to learn my young pupil. As such, my next task for you is to read this." He produced a lurid pink covered book from nowhere, handing it to his student. "Cover to cover by tomorrow morning."

Naruto took the book skeptically, looking at the cover, which had a man chasing a woman in a bright red dress on it. "Isn't this one of those –"

"No!" Jiraiya told him swiftly, knowing if he thought it was at all dirty the boy wouldn't touch it. "Just read it. Goodnight." The moment the boy was out of the room he turned off the lights and pretended to be asleep. Naruto wouldn't bother him until the morning if he thought it involved waking up the white-haired _sannin_.

The next morning Jiraiya woke up late, stretching and yawning widely. He listened for any exclamations of either disgust or delight coming from Naruto's room, but instead heard nothing but silence. Hm.

He got up, tiptoeing quietly over to the open doorway to the blond boy's room, and peered in. The book was open to about a quarter of the way through, in front of Naruto. But the boy himself was curled up in a ball on his side, eyes wide and staring at the wall unseeing, arms wrapped around his knees.

"Naruto?" Jiraiya asked, walking into the room to pick up the book and waving a hand in front of Naruto's eyes. "Naruto?"

"Y-Y-You…" the boy stuttered out, eyes shifting to look up at the man's face but not moving otherwise. "Why would you do that to me!"

Even the memory caused his cheeks to flame bright red to Jiraiya's amusement. "Let's see where you got to…" he looked down at the page, reading the words written there. "You didn't even get to the best part! If you can't handle this, how do you expect to become a man?"

"That isn't how to become a man!" Naruto retorted, slowly unwinding. "That's how to become a pervert!"

"What's the difference?"

"Everything! I couldn't do that to –" he broke off before telling his girlfriend's name.

"Yes, yes?" Jiraiya prodded eagerly.

Naruto moved quickly, grabbing the offending book from Jiraiya's hands and throwing it out the window. "To my betrothed!" he finished, just to see the look on the man's face.

Immediately the _Sannin's_ jaw dropped, and he even forgot to cry about his desecrated book. "No no no!" he howled. "That's not how you do it! You don't tie yourself down, you play the field, you experiment, you – _how did you get a betrothed this fast? Why did you get a betrothed?"_ Then his eyes narrowed at the grin Naruto was giving him. "Why you…"

He lunged for the blond boy as he ducked under the man's arm, quickly escaping out the window onto the next roof. "I'm going to go meet her, see ya!" he called before disappearing, Jiraiya struggling out the window behind him trying to pursue, but unable to fit through the small opening.

"Get back here!" he yelled after his fleeing student, growling as the boy only waved over his shoulder. "I won't let you do this to yourself!"


	53. How to Control a Man

So a dare from addster - Try this, Minato introduces Kushina to Tsunade and Jiraiya, and the girls have a verbal slugfest.

Ideas from Kaiser969 and Freewolf17! Put together by me obviously.

Enjoy!

* * *

How to Control a Man

"Jiraiya-_sensei_!" Minato called to the white-haired man where he was walking down the street next to his former teammate, Tsunade. "Tsunade-_sama_!"

"Hm?" Jiraiya turned around, eyebrows raising as he saw his blond student darting towards him, holding onto the hand of a red-headed woman. "Who's that?"

"I wanted you to meet Kushina!" Minato exclaimed to both _sannin_, glee lighting his face. The woman seemed a bit shy about meeting two such famous figures, blushing slightly and hiding behind the man.

"Hey, hey, come on out now!" Jiraiya crooked a finger at her, a lecherous smile making its way across his face. "Someone with a body as pretty as yours has no need to –" he was cut off by a slap to the back of his head by Tsunade.

"Don't you go objectifying women again, or I'll break your ribs," she threatened, gathering _chakra_ into her fist. "Just because you're a lecherous old man –"

"Tsunade-_sama_!" Minato leapt to his _sensei's_ defense, jumping in front of the white-haired man who was clutching his head.

"Don't you go defending him!" Tsunade turned on Minato, shaking her finger in his face. "You know what a pervert he is! Don't you forget the last time he went peeking on the women's baths…"

Kushina watched Tsunade telling Minato off, frowning the more she heard. "Is that why you're the exact opposite?" she demanded, cutting off Tsunade's rampage.

The blonde woman looked at the younger in surprise, an eyebrow raised, while the beleaguered blond man frantically waved a hand in front of his throat.

"This guy," Kushina jerked a thumb at Minato, "doesn't know the first thing about seduction or the like! When I tried to seduce him, you know, dressed all nice, guess what the first words out of his mouth were?" Minato turned beet red. "'Is that practical to fight in?'"

Tsunade let out a strangled laugh, quickly clapping a hand over her mouth. "Oh? Jiraiya is the exact opposite. When I wore my _jounin_ vest out to a team dinner, he asked me if I had anything _prettier_ and more _feminine_. Two smacks later and he never bothered saying such again."

Kushina laughed as well, moving a little closer to Tsunade. "And he spends so much time on his appearance! I swear, he has more products than _I_ do!"

"Jiraiya doesn't care so much for his appearance than the appearance of those he _peeks_ on," Tsunade countered, twisting the white-haired man's ear without looking as he tried to sneak away. "Tried that on me once – spent six months in the hospital."

"Oh?" Two raised eyebrows were directed at the crouching man. Then her eyes shifted to the cringing Minato. "You ever try such antics on me, and you'll be sleeping on your front for a month."

He nodded sheepishly, distancing himself surreptitiously from his _sensei_. "I swear it's all him! I tried not to become like him!"

"You betrayer!" Jiraiya exclaimed, directing as much attention as he could towards his student despite the pain in his ear. "You said you loved my teachings, you – OW!" His rant was cut off once more as Tsunade wrenched his ear.

"I would shut up if I were you," she advised him sweetly. "You never know the kind of pain you could end up in." She let go of his ear, allowing him to move away.

"Now, where were we," she turned back to Kushina, only to have her attention diverted once more as she noticed where Kushina's eyes were directed.

She had to stifle a laugh as she saw the two logs dressed in both men's clothes, falling to the ground. In the distance they could hear faint screams as the men ran away, apparently only in their underwear if the logs were anything to go by.

"That's how to control a man," Tsunade chuckled to the redhead, clapping her on the shoulder.

"That and a couch," Kushina agreed, malicious glee sparkling in her eyes.


	54. Eat That?

So this is another joke on Tsunade's cooking - I should probably stop doing that. Hehe...^^; So this was for a dare from Ella Unlimited - "Hn," they grunted, looking at them with distaste. "How can you even LOOK at that?"

Hope it suits!

* * *

Eat That?

"Hey Tsunade!" Jiraiya called back into the kitchen. "Are you almost done yet?"

The nine year old and his fellow teammates were watching Tsunade's three year old brother, Nawaki. The brown haired boy was far too hyper for Jiraiya's taste, running around everywhere making Orochimaru and himself follow the kid to make sure he didn't break anything.

Tsunade was in the kitchen, cooking, or rather attempting to cook, dinner for the four. "Almost done!" she called back, eyeing the contents of the pan. Maybe if she arranged them well enough…

"Well hurry up! We can't control him forever!"

A crash only accentuated what was happening in the main room. "Okay, okay! Take him to the dining room!" she called, rapidly arranging the food on a few separate plates. With luck, the burnt and mangled bits would be unnoticeable… "Jiraiya, can you come help?"

The white haired boy appeared in the doorway instantly, grateful to be called away from trying to manage Nawaki. "Sure what do you need?"

"Can you take those out?" she gestured to the prepared plates behind her, working on her 'masterpiece' dish.

Jiraiya's nose wrinkled at the smell coming off of them, it wasn't the most appetizing, but didn't say anything as he eyed the large knife she was wielding. He liked his face unscarred.

The moment he entered the dining room both Orochimaru and Nawaki's eyes snapped to him,

"Food?" was the querulous question from the three year old as he craned his neck to look at the topmost plate.

"Yeah kid, food," Jiraiya responded, setting the plates down in the center of the table. Orochimaru looked at them incredulously, but Nawaki's eyes were eager.

Then Tsunade came through the door with the _piece de resistance_, at least in her eyes. She set it down closest to Nawaki, as it was the three year old's favorite dish.

"Yay! Chicken breast!" Nawaki cheered, immediately reaching towards the plate. Both Jiraiya and Orochimaru blanched.

"Orochimaru-_kun_, would you care for a piece?" Tsunade generously offered her silent teammate the first bite.

"Hn," he grunted, looking at the plate with distaste. "How can you even _look_ at that?"

"Hey!" Nawaki shouted in defense of his sister, glaring at the black haired boy. "_Nee-chan_ makes great chicken breast!" To prove his point he grabbed a piece, stuffing it into his mouth, making sounds of enjoyment. "See?"

Both boys raised an eyebrow at what was revealed by the lifted chicken breast – black mangled chicken, carefully hidden. But Jiraiya had no desire to suffer Tsunade's wrath.

"He's right Orochimaru," the white haired boy leapt to Tsunade's defense as well, supporting Nawaki. "It looks great!" When neither Senju was looking he stuck his tongue out at the pale boy.

That did it, Orochimaru jumped over the table, attempting to tackle his annoying teammate, and slipped in some of the food on the table, sending it splattering at the wall.

Tsunade's shout of dismay was lost in the clatter of dishes and Nawaki's cheers for the fight as Orochimaru took Jiraiya down, toppling a few chairs.

A splintering crash and one of the table legs collapsed, destroying the rest of the dinner, and causing splatter across some of the walls, but most began to coat the boys. There was broth, rice, and even some kind of creamed vegetable, smeared all over both teammates.

A pitcher of ice cold water fetched from the kitchen caused both to freeze, gazes slowly traveling up to the irate Tsunade holding the metal water pitcher.

"You two," she began slowly, glaring at both, "will clean this room, yourselves, and remake dinner. And it _will_ be edible. Understood?" Even for a short blonde nine year old, the girl could be imposing. From behind her leg, Nawaki peeked out, nodding his head to emphasis Tsunade's words.

"But yours wasn't edible!" Jiraiya immediately protested, ignoring Tsunade's sharpening glare.

"That just means yours has to be all the better then," she growled at him, pulling out a _kunai_. "Get to work."

"You just _had_ to jump me," Jiraiya muttered to Orochimaru as they cleaned the room under Tsunade's watchful eye. "I get you can't resist me, but couldn't you wait?"

As Orochimaru made to slap his annoying teammate, the spike in Tsunade's _chakra_ made him freeze in place.

"I would get back to cleaning, Orochimaru-_kun_," and the _kun _had extra emphasis, "or you'll make my meals for a week to my satisfaction."

He had no doubt she would find a way to force him to fulfill that threat.


	55. Frozen

So, I'm really really depressed right now. No cause, so don't know why or how to become undepressed. When depressed I write depressing stuff. Just as a warning.

* * *

Frozen

There was no time for a funeral. Jiraiya had died going on a mission to search out information on Akatsuki, and they were on the verge of an all-out war; too many forces powerful forces were against Konoha. But that didn't keep them from mourning.

She remembered when she first heard the news – Gamabunta and six of his kin had popped up next to and in her office, and told her they needed to say something private.

That was when they had introduced themselves, and told her of the prophecy of Mount Myoboku. And of Jiraiya's death.

That had cut her deeply, so deep it felt as though an ice cold spring welled up inside her, never to abate. But she wasn't the only one to be affected.

Naruto had to be told.

She had first called in the rest of Team Seven, and told them and Shizune of the news as well. Tsunade did not allow any of her tears to fall, and watched as the others remained strong as well. They had to support Naruto when he learned of the news.

By the time Naruto arrived, Tsunade had no idea how she would react. She knew Naruto would be betrayed, hurt, and angry, but if his sadness would set her off…the blonde woman could not allow that.

She had to remain strong for the village, for Jiraiya, for Naruto.

Her voice was steady when she answered Fukasaku, showing no sign of the news to come.

And when he told Naruto of Jiraiya's death, her eyes remained fixed on the boy as his whole world crashed around him, even while his teammates discussed how Jiraiya had infiltrated Ame.

When they mentioned Nagato as Pain, she heard herself whisper "Who would have imagined those kids…" and her voice trailed off, but she wasn't even aware of speaking. It was as though her mind resided in a different dimension from her body.

She contributed to the rest of the conversation, but it was as though she was on autopilot, only going through the motions of assimilating new information.

It was Naruto's whisper that she heard. "Did you let him go, _baa-chan_?"

An ice cold dagger pierced her heart, impossibly colder than her body already, and her eyes slipped closed. It was a good thing her hands were blocking her mouth otherwise he would have seen it quiver.

He needed an answer. Her eyes opened once more, and the moment she said "That's right," his whole countenance was consumed by anger.

"Why would you let him do that?" The question was flat, with just a hint of anger, as if he couldn't believe her. "You knew him better than anyone! How could you let him go to such a dangerous place alone!" His voice was rising, and there was a hint of hatred.

The knife in her heart twisted, winding her grief even tighter. Naruto. For Naruto to hate her for Jiraiya's death…

Kakashi stopped him. "You of all people should know how _Hokage-sama_ feels."

_I tried. He wouldn't listen, and in the end I had to let him go._

She remembered his words to her, some of the last he had said – always with that inspirational charisma, the one that convinced you to believe in him.

Naruto turned away, cursing. He couldn't look at her.

His last words before he went out the door – they were like lines of fire lashing across her ice cold body. "If _Ero-sennin_ had been the _Godaime Hokage_ instead of _baa-chan_, he would have never let her take such risks, _never_."

And with that he left. Sakura tried to go after him, and she stopped the girl. He needed to be alone.

She was sure just like herself, he needed time to remember, time to reflect on those memories.

It took days before he could look at her, days while her body remained frozen, her mind frozen, simply going through the motions. She couldn't abandon the village.

But when he returned, the agreed on one thing. Even without a body, he needed a place of his own.

There was a large rock out in the forest, far away from the normally traveled paths. Only those who knew it was there would find it.

The _kanji_ for teacher was carved on it, and lines strung to keep the rock upright. They left him small offerings, ones he would appreciate.

She went there often, when she could find the time. Just to stand there and reflect on the great sage himself. The insolent little boy, the proud teenager, the lecherous man. The brave companion, the steadfast, loyal friend.

Slowly she felt her body thaw. She would always miss him, but she had to honor him as well. He wouldn't want her frozen forever.


	56. Rain and Rainbow

I'm still partially depressed. Its raining here. I like the rain. A lot. So I decided to write about the rain. It got happier as I wrote. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Rain and Rainbow

Tsunade ran her finger along the foggy window pane, watching the condensation drip down in its wake like tears.

She hated waiting.

It was raining hard outside, and the difference in the temperature out there with her warm, heated office made it very hard to see anything.

She loved the rain, she really did, but it reminded her too much tears.

Her finger traced idle patterns on the window and she watched it, interested. A few spikes, two 't'-shaped lines in a larger circle, a mouth…Jiraiya? A quick wipe of her hand cleared away all the water droplets.

The doodles started anew, this time writing a _kanji_. "Miss you both" she read, an eyebrow raising at the message.

Tsunade looked at her finger. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

Jiraiya had taken Naruto out of the village for a few days, intent on showing the boy something, but being _Hokage_ Tsunade had had to stay behind.

And now it was raining.

"This had better not be a hint or anything!" she called up at the sky. After all the last two times her loved ones had left the village and it rained…she didn't want to think about that.

As if in answer, thunder rolled and the rain sheeted down even harder. She could hear it bouncing off the window and the roof like little stones.

Even if they were on their way home now, the two were probably stuck somewhere waiting for the rain to stop as well.

She didn't know how long she sat there, tracing idle patterns on the misty glass and conveniently ignoring the stacks of work behind her. The patterns kept filling in and disappearing, forever creating new spaces for her to work.

It was certainly an advantage to having a whole back wall of windows.

A patch of condensation began to disappear from the window to her right, and Tsunade scowled, wheeling her chair over to it. She hadn't done anything…

The ray of sunshine shone right into her face.

The rain was still falling from the sky, but lightly, almost more of a mist instead of a downpour. And as the sun broke through some of the clouds, it began to evaporate, creating rainbows where the light hit it right.

There was even one right over the front gate.

An open front gate.

A front gate with two figure walking in, one tall and one short.

Her hand circled across the patch quickly, clearing more space to gaze out of.

Her boys were home, and they had brought the sun.


	57. Breakfast

So this was a special request from DarkShadowRaven for an AU Tsunade Jiraiya and Naruto breakfast scene...hope it suits! It's not very 'out there' as AUs go, but they do have more technology and no _shinobi_ skills.

I've skipped over 3 or so dares to do this, but don't worry they'll be done!

And *gasp* Tsunade can cook!

* * *

Breakfast

_Sizzle._

Tsunade moved the spatula around the pan once more, making sure not to burn any of the eggs in it.

"Is breakfast almost ready?" came Jiraiya's voice from behind her, muffled slightly by the newspaper he was reading.

She could cook. Sure it had taken quite a few lessons, and she wasn't amazing at it, but her food now was much more edible than any of her husband's efforts.

"Almost," she replied, glancing up at the clock on the wall. It was almost time to get her boy up.

The radio with the news provided a constant background noise as she checked the eggs once again, sprinkling a little more cheese on top.

"These won't have as much pepper in them as last time, right?" came her husband's voice in a light whine. When she turned her head she saw him looking up at her with puppy dog eyes, all wide and pleading.

Could she resist them?

Hell yes.

"Of course they will," the blonde woman retorted, reaching for the pepper next to the stove.

Jiraiya's eyes widened as he lunged to grab it out of her hand, but he wasn't fast enough. Tsunade sprinkled a few good shakes of the ground pepper across the eggs, adding brown and black specks.

"Noooo," he whimpered, watching as they were mixed into the eggs.

"You know Naruto loves it!" Tsunade scolded him good naturedly. Speaking of which…

"Here." She thrust her white apron with its picture of a grinning bowl of ramen – a gift from Naruto – at her husband. "If he isn't up by now his alarm isn't doing its job."

"You know he won't be," Jiraiya told her absentmindedly as he stared at the apron in his hand. "And you gave this to me because…"

"So you can finish the eggs. Remember if you see smoke it's a _bad sign_." Tsunade patted the perplexed man on the back and headed up the stairs.

The music blasting out of Naruto's room through the closed door was enough to make her wince – the sound level could wake the dead. And yet her son seemed to be able to sleep right through it.

Sure enough when she pushed open the door to his room, the boy was sprawled on his bed, the covers wrapped around him and showing a bare leg and foot here, an arm there…and that ridiculous night cap he loved so much.

It had taken years, but Tsunade had finally figured out the best way to wake her son up.

She crossed the room, not masking her footsteps, and shut the music off. Almost immediately Naruto stirred, obviously missing his background noise, and the moment his forehead was visible Tsunade poked it, hard, with a finger.

"Hey!" The protest was quick, and the swat even quicker, although the blonde woman danced off the bed with reflexes well trained from avoiding such reactions.

"Wakey wakey, Naruto-_kun_!" she laughed, watching as her son rubbed at his eyes with two fists and glared.

"Do you have to do that _every_ morning?"

"Yup!" Again she reached out and poked his forehead. "It's the only way to get you up."

"Not true, you could just bring me ramen…"

"And what kind of breakfast is that? Speaking of, I left your father tending the eggs, so we had better get down there before he burns them all." Tsunade headed for the door, only to find two small hands at her back, pushing her forward faster.

"Breakfast!" Naruto cried the moment she was out of the way, pounding down the hallway and then the stairs. He sounded like a herd of rampaging elephants, and Tsunade could only imagine what it sounded like to Jiraiya. She hoped he braced himself.

"Augh!" Apparently he hadn't. Chuckling to herself, Tsunade descended the stairs in Naruto's wake, straightening a picture here, picking up some papers there…

"Boy what are you _doing?_" came Jiraiya's irate voice from the kitchen.

"Breakfast breakfast breakfast!" Naruto was chanting, banging on the table.

A harried looking Jiraiya – wearing the apron – was standing in front of the stove, staring at the eggs with spatula poised.

"What are you…" Tsunade began, only to be choked off by a laugh as her husband swooped the spatula down and scooped up the eggs in one movement. They flew neatly over his shoulder to land perfectly on the plate in front of Naruto, who stopped banging and began to eat ravenously.

He had perfected that trick years ago.

"You've gotten better," Tsunade murmured, coming up behind her husband as he began to wash out the pan. Naruto ignored them, focusing solely on his eating.

"I should hope so, the last time I almost burned up the kitchen," he retorted just as quietly, keeping a watchful eye on their son. How was I to know cloth could get hot enough to burn?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe because it's common sense?"

"And how would I possess that?" the white-haired man teased, ditching the apron.

"_Baka_." She hit him on the head lightly, but he still winced and rubbed it.

"Not so hard, geez."

"Well what does it matter if you lose a few more brain cells to compliment your lack of common sense?"


	58. Mud Fight

Sorry its so late today - I was hiking all over some mountains at Gunpowder Falls today. Tiring...but so fun.

And I forgot to put this in the last chapter - Thank you so much! This drabble string has gotten over 300 reviews and 7000 hits in 2 months! That makes me soooooo happy...*glomp to all!*

I'm _really_ on a rain tangent - its all I want to write about. So...yeah. This one _also_ has to do with the rain.

I liked the idea, but it wasn't well thought out, so I don't know how well it turned out...

I swear I'll get to those dares eventually!

* * *

Mud Fight

Tsunade sighed as she looked out the open door of the _Hokage_ tower once more. It was wet. And it was raining. And that meant puddles.

She loved the rain but it would make her hair unmanageable and her clothes stick to her skin, only encouraging that pervert…

A shove to her back broke her from her thoughts – and also pushed her out into the very rain she was thinking about.

Quick as ever on her feet, Tsunade regained her balance and spun around to see her attacker – that selfsame pervert.

The white haired man was giving her a cheeky wave from the doorway where he stood, sheltered, oblivious to the pissed off glare leveled in his direction.

"Enjoy the rain, Tsunade!" he called to her, grinning widely. "When was the last time you got a good drenching from it?"

"The last time we were in Ame," she retorted, ignoring the rivulets of water running down her forehead and cheeks. "That was quite enough rain to hold me over for a few decades."

"Aw, come on," he told her, pouting slightly. "I spent three years there and I did fine."

"Yeah, well you did that by choice. I never said you were sane."

A hand went to his chest in false hurt. "How could you say that about me? That just means I have all the more reason to stay in here where it's warm, dry…"

His voice was cut off as Tsunade dashed forward, spraying mud from her heels, and grabbed his shirt collar, dragging him out into the rain and throwing him face first into the mud. "Warm and dry like that you mean?"

"Foul play!" he protested, wiping mud from his face so he could see her.

"How?"

He couldn't answer with words, so instead he scooped up a handful of water from one of the numerous puddles on the ground and threw it in her face, not that it added much to her already drenched form. Even her green jacket was dripping water.

"Now _that's_ not fair!" she spluttered past the taste of water and a hint of mud in her mouth.

"Why not? You did it to me!"

"Oh really?" With a spin that sprayed a circle of droplets around her, Tsunade sent up a wave of water from her feet, hitting the male _sannin_ right in the face where he was lying down still.

His arm snaked out to grab her ankle as she foolishly got too close, pulling her so she sat down in the mud abruptly, the impact jarring her head.

"Hey!" she kicked her legs in protest, looking almost like a child throwing a tantrum, even more so when her fists slapped the ground.

Her only response was a grin from her former teammate.

"Fine." She launched herself at Jiraiya, forgetting all _kunoichi_ skills in the moment and just tackling him.

They rolled over and over in the mud, neither getting the upper hand, but each receiving a full coating of the brown substance.

First Jiraiya's head was ground into the mud, then Tsunade's arms were pinned as he put her in an arm lock, then…

"Tsunade-_sama_! What are you _doing?_" came Shizune's scandalized voice as she looked at her mentor and the great Jiraiya rolling over in the mud like two five year olds.

"It's quite fun, come and join us!" Tsunade grinned at her assistant, a tendril of blonde hair pasted to her forehead with mud, and a few others to her cheeks and shoulders.

Shizune gave a negative shake of her head.

Tsunade looked sidelong at Jiraiya, caught his own sinister smile, and then each were gone, grabbing one of Shizune's arms a piece, and dragging the protesting raven out into the pouring rain.

"Come on, some rain is good for you!" Tsunade told her as they began to spin around, determined to make her enjoy the experience.

"But –"

"Just relax and enjoy it!" Jiraiya called from her other side, releasing the woman so she spun around a few times before stabling herself.

Shizune stumbled slightly, still protesting, and Tsunade grinned at Jiraiya. If nothing else, she could pass her own discomfort on to her assistant…_splat_.

Shizune had scooped up two handfuls of mud and with careful aim, plowed them straight into the two faces of the _sannin_.

"Now you're getting it!" Jiraiya crowed as he and Tsunade raced for Shizune, each determined to be the first to get her.


	59. Blond

Back on the dares - this one is from last week from addster - Naruto's in the academy and one of the kids are calling him stupid because he's blonde, but Iruka comes to his defense saying blondes like Tsunade and Minato are awesome.

It ended up kind of more informative than funny, and not quite serious so...*Shrug*. With luck *much of it* I might be able to get another one out tonight!

Oh and this one broke my rain streak. XP Ran out of ideas to do with rain for now, but it shall make a comeback!

* * *

Blond

"Hey you, stupid blond!" Naruto tried not to turn around to respond to the voice, but it was hard. "Yeah you!"

The boy twitched again. He knew who was antagonizing him; the class bully, Maro. The kid really needed to come up with some new insults.

It wasn't like the teachers hopped to his defense anyway; they ignored the small blond boy sitting in the corner, getting continuously picked on.

So it was with a smile he turned around, grinning cheesily at Maro. Yeah, I'm a blond. What's up?"

"There's no way you're smart, not with that hair," Maro continued the jibe, as well as a six year old could. After all, Naruto was the only blond in the class. "No wonder you're dead-last!"

He didn't notice Iruka come up behind him and flinched at the unexpected hand on his shoulder.

"You're saying blonds are stupid, Maro-_kun_?" he asked, eyes smiling at the boy, but his mouth slightly set. "I'm sorry, but I can't let you continue that claim."

"Why not, Iruka-_sensei_?" Maro challenged. "Look at him! He dresses in bright orange, and he fails _everything_!"

"But there are other blonds too," the _chuunin_ replied. "Minato-_sama_, the _Yondaime Hokage_, and Tsunade-_sama_ are two very prominent ones."

He crossed to the board, writing up both of their names. "Tsunade-_sama_ is known as _the_ best medical _ninjutsu_ specialist in all of the land, and has come up with over twenty new cures and procedures that revolutionized medicine. She is also one of the famous_ sannin_, a rank higher than any but _Hokage_ in our village."

A _hn_ was all he heard from the six year old, distinctly unimpressed with the qualifications and achievements of Tsunade. "She doesn't count, she's a _girl_!"

"Oh?" Iruka arched an eyebrow. "Then what about Minato-_sama_? He studied under the legendary Jiraiya for years before becoming our very own _Hokage_, and was a master of _fuinjutsu_, one of the hardest of the _shinobi_ arts to learn. And then he proved himself bravely and sacrificed his body to seal the Kyuubi."

"_Hokage-sama_ is awesome, he doesn't count!"

"But Naruto looks like him, so does Naruto not count?"

That put a wrench in the boy's thinking. Iruka knew how six-year-old minds worked, and logic wasn't a big factor in it.

"But…he…" a finger was pointed at the now sleeping blond boy. "He's dead-last!"

"But that doesn't have anything to do with his hair," Iruka corrected, "and everything to do with his _inability to stay awake_." The last part was yelled directly in Naruto's ear, causing the boy to jerk awake, almost falling out of his chair.

"I didn't do it, I swear!"


	60. Rain and Sunlight

So this was another AU dare from addster and I loved it so much...I kinda jumped over 5 others still waiting in the wings. ^^; - Tsunade's at the hospital having Naruto and Jiraiya's late, but makes it in time to get his hand crushed and watch his son come into the world.

And I got to put in rain. Muahahahahahaha =D

Hope you love it as much as I do!

* * *

Rain and Sunlight

"Where _is_ he?" Tsunade growled, straining against the bed. She was strapped down so she couldn't burst off it and punch whoever was standing next to her. "That lazy, no good, idiot had better show soon or I'll…._argh_."

Her voice broke off as another wave of pain rushed over her. Almost involuntarily her head turned towards the lone window in the room, trying to see past the light fog on the panes to the rain beyond.

It had begun raining almost the exact moment her labor began, and she wondered if it was a sign.

"If this kid is nearly as bad as him, I'll skin Jiraiya alive," she panted after the contraction had finished, not turning her gaze from the window. Somehow the rain calmed her, almost as though she could feel it falling on her face and cooling her down.

It had already been ten hours. Ten long, drawn out hours full of spurts of pain. And he hadn't been there for it. She was getting close now, she knew she was…

Her eyes were yanked away from the window as the doors burst open in a whirlwind of green, red, and white, and the clean smell of rain accompanied the figure rushing right to her bedside.

"Tsunade-_san_," the doctor by the foot of the bed began in confusion, as he stared at the intruder, but she waved him down right before another contraction started.

"Its…fine…he's…" she managed to get out in between gasps of pain, squeezing the railing of her bed in a white knuckled grip. The machine next to her, attached to the band wrapped around her stomach, showed a graph where a tall spike was growing, signifying the intensity of her contraction.

_That is NOT an accurate representation of the pain I'm in_, the blonde woman growled in her mind, but couldn't force the words out of her mouth, lest she scream. And she'd be damned if she showed that form of weakness in front of the doctors who worked under her.

Or her no-good excuse for a husband.

"I'm so sorry I was late, is he here yet, did I miss it…" Jiraiya's words were almost incoherent he was talking so fast, and he only shut up when Tsunade's hand detached from its iron grip on the bar to latch onto his left wrist in a numbing grip.

"Shut. Up. And. Give me. Your hand," she ordered, emphasizing each word. She could feel the pressure growing.

Mutely Jiraiya handed over his right hand, his left still incapacitated, and tried not to wince as she squeezed the life of it as a new contraction struck. She wanted him to feel her pain. After all, he had had a part in it.

"Tsunade-_san_, it's time." The doctor looked up from his position between her knees, the tent of the blanket over her legs mostly hiding him from view.

The white-haired man shot a nervous glance at Tsunade's stomach, it was still mostly round, although it had moved significantly lower than where it had been for the past month. The baby was between her hips, and he didn't want to think about how that must feel.

"You. You did this to me, you –" Tsunade's voice was cut off as she curled around her abdomen, pushing through the pain for all she was worth.

"1, 2, 3, 4," Jiraiya counted for her, watching her relax as he got to ten. He had lost all feeling in both hands after five, and could see them as though they belonged to another.

She could feel the baby very low now, pushing at her. It wanted out, and she was completely willing to help it on its way. Again her eyes turned towards the glass, where condensed droplets were trickling down on both sides.

It seemed as though the rain was letting up, and she hoped it was a sign her own labor was almost over.

She didn't know how many more minutes and hours passed, only that her own hand had gone numb but she refused to let go of Jiraiya's. His eyes were locked on hers when they were open, and when they weren't gazed down at her stomach.

Soon there wouldn't be any barriers in the way of his child.

"One last push!" the doctor told her, reaching out with gloved hands to receive the baby as it arrived. "It's crowned!"

She could feel it slip from her body. And then she heard the cry. It was quite high pitched, and slightly squeaky, but it was a cry.

It took her a few seconds to unwind her hand from Jiraiya's so he could go and look at their child.

"Can I see him?" It surprised her how hoarse her voice was, but maybe that was what screaming did to a person.

A blanket was placed on her stomach, and her child, the umbilical already cut and his body dried, was laid there.

He had blond hair, not thin like so many newborns but bushy and thick just like his father's. There were three faint thin dark lines, birthmarks of a sort, adorning his cheeks, and his bright blue eyes were open and gazing at her.

She knew he couldn't see her, but felt the jolt anyway. He was her son.

And he was her sun. For just as he was laid on her stomach, a golden beam of sunlight lanced through the rainy and misted windowpane and landed right on her child, illuminating and bringing out the golden streaks in his hair, and his nose to wrinkle cutely.

"He's ours," she said softly, knowing Jiraiya was standing next to her without even having to look. She didn't notice the bustle around the room as the doctor called some nurses to clean up after the birth, her eyes fixed on her baby boy.

Tsunade's hand reached out to touch him, and chuckled as he grasped her finger when it nudged open his tiny palm. Jiraiya's hand rested lightly on his head.

"He's our Naruto."


	61. Baby Ramen

And we return to AU land! Its rather surprising the enthusiasm they're receiving! =)

This one was from DarkShadowRaven - although I kind of ended up twisting the dare...sorry! If you want I can do another one adhering more to what you asked...^^;

No rain in this one! Awwww, I'll have to fix that soon! ;)

* * *

Baby Ramen

"Naruto?" Tsunade asked cautiously, eyeing her son. "What are you doing?"

The blond boy was sitting at the kitchen table, head resting on folded arms and gazing intently at two bowls of ramen sitting together with edges touching.

"Waiting for them to make a baby ramen!" he responded cheerily, not looking away.

"Waiting for them to…what?" Tsunade repeated, eyebrows knitting as she tried to figure out what he had said.

"_Tou-san_ told me if I put them _really_ close so they're touching and wait long enough, they'll make a baby ramen and I'll never have to buy ramen again!"

She was about to scream Jiraiya's name to get him down there, when a thought stopped her. "And what did you ask him that provided that answer?" she asked, not sure she wanted to know the response.

"How babies were made," he shrugged, arms still on the table.

Oh. Her hand was up to her forehead before she even realized it had moved. "_Jiraiya!_"

"Yeah?" his voice floated down the stairs.

"Get your ass down here this minute!"

"Do I have to? I'm kind of…"

"Now!" She turned to Naruto. "Sweetie, you won't get a baby ramen from that."

"I won't?" Tears began to well up in his eyes. "But _tou-san_ promised…"

Tsunade mentally promised herself to deck her husband the moment she had a chance. "He'll make it up to you; _tou-san_ will buy you all the ramen you can eat for the next week, right, _tou-san_?" The last words laden with malice as she reached out and grabbed Jiraiya's shirt, bringing him forward and glaring daggers at him.

He had caused the mess and he would certainly be the one to fix it.

"Eheheh, yeah…" he scratched at the back of his head, eying his wife. Magically Naruto's tears dried up as he began to cheer.

"Now. _Tou-san_ and I will explain to you exactly where babies come from. And _what can have babies_." She poked Jiraiya in the chest hard at the second sentence, making sure he knew that she knew exactly what he had done.

She sat down in the chair next to Naruto, gesturing for Jiraiya to take the one across from the boy. And next to her so she could stop him if he said anything too outrageous.

"Okay honey. First of all, only things that are alive can have babies," Tsunade began. "Animals, plants, and humans can have babies. Things that aren't alive, like furniture, food, and clothes, can't. So your ramen can't have a baby."

"You said it would!" An accusatory finger was pointed at Jiraiya who feigned innocence. "And you said that I had to have a male ramen and a female ramen…"

A hand was clamped over Naruto's mouth before he could say any more.

"_Second_, you _do _need a male and a female – at least animals and humans do. We won't touch plants."

Jiraiya broke in – this was his area of expertise. "The male and the female are the _kaa-san _and _tou-san_, and they have to do a special dance," he ignored the death glare he got from his wife, "and that makes a baby."

"Then how does the baby appear…?" Naruto wondered, looking up at his parents with wide eyes.

"The _kaa-san_ carries it around with her for a while, until it decides to be born," Tsunade continued. There was no way she was going to let her little boy grow up thinking a flying long necked ugly bird had dropped him on their doorstep.

"How is it born?"

Tsunade opened her mouth, then closed it again. Why did he have to be so inquisitive?

Jiraiya noticed her discomfort and decided immediate rescue actions were necessary. "Would you look at that, it's dinner time! Naruto, I think it's time you got free ramen!"

"But I have ramen right there…" the boy gestured to the two bowls still sitting on the table.

"I thought you wanted_ special ramen_," Jiraiya told his son, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "At a _special place_ _kaa-san_ doesn't know about. But if you don't want to go…"

Naruto was already racing for the door. "C'mon, c'mon, let's go!"

Jiraiya chuckled, watching Naruto running around trying to pull on both shoes and a jacket at once. "Don't worry about it, Tsunade. I've got him."

"Thanks," she told him softly. "Even if you messed it up the first time around. Really, _baby ramen_?"


	62. The Village

This one is kind of dark, and was in response to a dare from Ella Unlimited - Naruto is traveling with Team Seven, and while on their way to a mission, they stumble across a village that has been completely ravaged by enemy ninjas. There are no survivors. How does everyone react?

Suited my own mood as well as hers, and so...yeah. It's not heartwrenching like some, but it's definitely not happy.

* * *

The Village

"Why is it so _wet_?" Naruto complained as he pushed his way through the underbrush.

"Because it's been raining for two straight days, _dobe_," Sasuke replied in a monotone, dodging a shower of raindrops sent off by the flailing branches Naruto disturbed.

"But we aren't even there yet!" the blond whined. "Why couldn't it have done this –"

His voice was immediately cut off by Kakashi's hand over his mouth.

"Silence," the _jounin _hissed in Naruto's ear, signaling for Sasuke and Sakura to fan out. Two flicked fingers and the whole of Team Seven moved forward stealthily, not knowing what lay ahead.

Sasuke was the first to reach it, and stopped moving. "Kaka-_sensei_?" His voice was low but pitched to carry to the _jounin_, and Kakashi immediately appeared at his side.

"Oh."

He tried to signal Sakura and Naruto to stop, but was too late. They saw it too.

Sakura gasped, falling to her knees in the muddy ground at the sight, and Naruto just stared slack-jawed, before turning, trembling, to his mentor.

"Kaka-_sensei_…what is…that?"

Kakashi's one eye was bleak as he looked out at the ruined village. "That used to be Hakukawa Village. We stopped at it during the Third _Shinobi_ War on our way to the bridge…" he trailed off, his eye closing briefly at the memories.

"What happened to it?" The unfamiliar tone belonged to Sakura. Her eyes were wide as she clutched her knees to her chest. She didn't even flinch as rain fell into her face.

"They were massacred," Sasuke grated out, eyes flashing red. "They're all dead."

Kakashi darted a worried glance towards the raven. It was quite possible the village would remind him of the massacre of his family. What effect that would have on his psyche…

Naruto moved forward, entering the village among the smoldering wrecks of half burned houses and bundles of clothing on the ground. The rain must have kept the whole village from becoming nothing but char.

"This wasn't a normal raid…" he muttered, looking close, but not to close, at one of the people half in half out of a doorway. He pulled a _shuriken_ out of the sodden ground next to the man.

"Kaka-_sensei_ _shinobi_ did this." He was unusually serious, walking up to his teacher, holding the _shuriken_.

Sakura moved closer to hear what Kakashi said, and Sasuke's eyes darted between the weapon and the village. He was trying to suppress the memories, but they just kept rising to the surface.

"We have to check for survivors!" he shouted, startling his three teammates and dashed out to the village. The rain quickly masked him, hiding him like a veil.

"Sasuke, come back!" Kakashi called after him, "We don't know if –" he broke off with a curse as the raven disappeared. "You two, stay here. Keep a lookout for any remaining _shinobi_. And _don't move_."

Naruto and Sakura nodded nervously, each pulling out their own weapons and getting in a ready stance.

Kakashi took off after his wayward student, cursing with every muddy step that he hadn't stopped. He had no doubt the whole village had been slain, and there was a high chance some traps had been laid as well. The rain just lowered his perception of possible threats.

He caught Sasuke quite easily, as the boy was running from body to body, checking for a pulse at each one. His hands were already red.

"Sasuke – Sasuke, stop." Kakashi caught the _genin's_ sleeve as he ran by, holding tighter as the boy tried to jerk free. "There's no way they survived. These were _shinobi_, remember? They know better than to leave loose ends."

"They could still be alive!" Sasuke tried to free himself once more, but gave up. He knew it was just as unlikely.

"We can't stick around here. We don't know if they'll come back," Kakashi told him ruthlessly. "We have to continue with our mission. There's nothing we can do."

Sasuke's eyes flashed red as they bored into Kakashi's own, but then he nodded slowly and relaxed. Kakashi let go of him, sure he wouldn't run.

"Did you find anything?" Naruto asked in a subdued voice after the two returned. "Anyone?"

"Nothing," Kakashi replied, not meeting Naruto's eyes.

A whimper was all that came from Sakura as she tried to keep from staring at the village.

"We have to continue," Kakashi herded his _genin_ away, but not without one last look at the destroyed village. _I will have to let Hokage-sama know, and hope these three learn to cope. It's a reality of a shinobi's life._


	63. Hate, Love the Rain

I got another dare - and you know what THIS one means! I get to write about my favorite subject - RAIN! *dances*

It's from Ella Unlimited - It's raining. And she just hates rain. But somehow, he manages to make the weather a bit more enjoyable. Jiraiya and Tsunade are on a mission together, their last mission together to be exact. And it's raining. Tsunade hates the weather but Jiriya manages to teach the Slug Princess that rain, isn't all that bad.

I'm really sorry about skipping over so many - I have 7...well 6 now...to still do. I swear I'll get them all done, just not in the order they were given...inspiration screws with plans. . BUT THEY ARE NOT FORGOTTEN! No, they are saved on a notepad document ^^;

* * *

Hate, Love the Rain

"I hate the rain," Tsunade grumbled, staring out of the open door of the ramshackle hut they were staying in. "Why does it even exist?"

"Hm?" Jiraiya glanced up, distracted, from his writing. "Why don't you like the rain?"

"It's wet, cold, and makes everything muddy. What is there to _like _about it?"

The white-haired man stared at her for a few seconds. "Everything?"

"'Everything'?" she mimicked, turning to look at him incredulously. "You _like_ _everything_ about the rain?"

"Well, yeah. How can you _not_ like the rain?"

She shuddered. "I hate the mud. And rain makes the mud…and it makes everything so uncomfortable! When it's really hard and pounds on your windows you can't sleep, it erases any tracks the enemy leaves, it can _collapse your tent_," – she knew from personal experience – "and it's _wet_."

Without warning he was running towards her, books and manuscripts scattered behind him, and had grasped her arm, tugging the resisting woman out into the rain.

"What do you think you're doing, you oaf?" she shouted at him, incensed. She was already soaked. "I just told you _I hate the rain!_"

"And I plan to fix that!" he grinned at her, letting go after making sure he blocked her path back to the hut. His normally spiky hair was sodden, water dripping off the points.

"First off, how can you not like the _smell _of rain? It makes everything new and refreshed, and the earth smells so good after a good rainfall. Go on, _smell it_."

She felt kind of silly just sniffing, but his eyes told her there was no way he would let her go back in until she had obeyed his every instruction. So she took a breath in through her nose.

There was an indefinable tang in the air, one that always accompanied the rain, but she felt as though she had never smelled it before.

"Good! Next – it makes our trees grow all the taller. And do you know what you can see when you go to the tops of these monsters?" Jiraiya patted the trunk next to him affectionately. "You can see it all pouring down, and if you look up it's amazing."

He grabbed her wrist swiftly, leaping up into the branches so she had to jump as well or risk being dragged along by her arm. "L-Let go of me!"

"Not until you see!" he called back to her, words almost whipped away by the wind and the rain.

It took a minute before they were at the top of the great tree – the whole forest was huge. But when they got there, Tsunade's breath was taken away.

Sure she had been to the top of the forest many times, but never during the rain. It was completely different. Gray sheets were falling everywhere, but there was a depth to the rain the blonde woman had never seen before. It seemed endless, untouchable.

Almost hesitantly she put out a hand, as though she could reach into that eternity.

"Look up," Jiraiya told her softly from his position next to her, tilting his own head up.

This time she gasped. Looking up into the raindrops, she could see them all falling towards her and magnificent speeds, the background of grey, water heavy clouds forming a soft contrast.

The drops hit her occasionally, whether it be on the forehead, nose, eyes, or chin, but she couldn't look away. Tsunade felt as though she was rushing upwards through the drops, as though they were stationary and she was the one moving.

She didn't know how long she stood there, only that Jiraiya never left her side and that the rain eventually began to slack off.

"And do you know what the best part about the rain is?" came his voice, almost as though he didn't want to disturb the quiet after the rain finished falling. His arm lifted slowly, directing her gaze across the treetops.

"The rainbow at the end."


	64. Suntan Lotion and Speedos

Doesn't THAT title grab your attention? ^^

I'm HOME! THAT MEANS I HAVE FAST INTERNET THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE A PASSWORD AND DOESN'T DISCONNECT EVERY TWENTY MINUTES! *Dance*

Anyway, this was in response to a long ago dare from addster (10 days ago?) - Jiraiya and Orochimaru go to the beach, Oro gets bad sunburn as he mocks hisfriend and Jiraiya wears a speedo to "attract" the ladies (it doesn't work,though. Speedo's never do...) set when they're about 15.

Kaiser969 and Freewolf17 were the masterminds behind most of this!

* * *

Suntan Lotion and Speedos

"He's asleep," Jiraiya muttered to himself, watching his pale skinned teammate. Orochimaru had decided to take his anti-sun self under an umbrella to relax, and Jiraiya had just the plan to prank him.

Grabbing the bottle of suntan lotion he knew Orochimaru forgot to use, thinking he was safe, Jiraiya stealthily approached, making sure the raven didn't stir.

"Perfect," he whispered, dipping his finger into the bottle and making sure it was coated. With careful strokes he painted it onto his teammate's body, making sure to stop and hide the bottle every time Orochimaru seemed to wake up even the slightest bit.

It didn't take long until he was done.

Chuckling under his breath, Jiraiya left his teammate lying there, making sure to take the umbrella with him.

Just two hours later Orochimaru woke up, wincing slightly at the pain that seemed to be all over his body. But there was no reason for any pain – the only thing that would cause it was sunburn…

It was then he noticed his umbrella was missing.

"What?" he sat up quickly, only to curl up and hiss in pain. His whole front hurt – chest, stomach, legs, and arms. When he managed to unwind enough to get a look at them, they were all bright red, but with odd white lines all over them.

In fact, they looked almost like _kanji_…

He maneuvered his arm so he could read it properly – a hard feat, but he was flexible – and gaped in surprise and anger at what it said.

"I am a pedo…" he read, eyes widening. "_What?_"

Looking down at his chest, he saw more _kanji_, but they were upside down and unreadable. Quickly getting up he ran to the nearest person, a little boy of 8, and gestured at his chest. "What does that say?"

"I…am a snake…dork…kick me!" the boy read slowly, ending with a grin as he kicked Orochimaru hard in the knee and ran away laughing.

"No way," the raven growled under his breath. He would bet anything there was another sentence on his back.

Looking around swiftly, he saw another person, this time a man in his middle years, and moved over to him. "Sir, is there something on my back?"

The man squinted at the lobster red skin, nodding. "Yup. It says "Toads eat snakes for breakfast"."

A yell of pure fury forced its way out of Orochimaru's mouth. "_Jiraiya_!"

He ran away from the old man without stopping to thank him, causing the man to shake his head and mutter "Kids these days. No sense of respect."

"Where are you, _teme_?" Orochimaru shouted, looking around wildly for his white haired teammate. It didn't take long to spot him – the fifteen year old was in a speedo of all things, and trying to woo a group of girls.

That didn't last long.

Orochimaru was over there in a flash, grabbing Jiraiya by the back of his speedo and dragging him by the material far away from the giggling girls.

"What did you _do to me_?" he cried, gesturing to his body.

"Do you like it? I thought you needed a little color!" Jiraiya couldn't stop laughing at his prank, it was too good.

"Fine, you want a joke? I'll give you a joke! _Kawarimi no Jutsu!"_

For a moment nothing seemed to change, and Jiraiya laughed all the harder. Then suddenly he stopped, a weird expression coming over his face. "You didn't…"

"Yes I did!"

"There's no way you put a _crab in my speedo_! _Ow!_"

"Payback's great, isn't it," Orochimaru smirked, walking off.

Jiraiya high-tailed it in opposite direction, aiming to get behind some sand dunes so he could fix his problem. But he wasn't getting very far as he kept jumping in the air, screaming "Son of a – !"

Needless to say the ladies didn't want him anywhere near them.


	65. School and Pebbles

I swear I don't MEAN to twist the dares...they just do? This one was from addster - I have an AU dare! It's Naruto's first day of school ,he's like five or six(the age you start kindergarten at...) and Tsunade is walking him, her mindwhirling with what ifs and omg's.

I totally put things in my mouth all the time when I was five...I remember standing in the hallway deciding a penny definitely tasted like metal (later identified as copper) while a nickel had no taste and a dime was very different.

Enjoy!

AN - I'm SO SORRY! Fanfiction hasn't been letting me post ANYTHING since the 19th! *Cry* But the forums saved me! For all those still having that issue that read this - go to the URL when you get the error and replace 'property' with 'content'

* * *

School and Pebbles

"Naruto, come back!" Tsunade called to her five year old son, who had run ahead of her. It was to be his first day of kindergarden, and the first time in five years she hadn't seen him all day every day.

She didn't know why she had agreed to allow him to start school…

_What if the other kids bully him? He's already small for his age; he wouldn't be able to defend himself!_ Even though she had made sure he knew how to head-butt…

The blond boy returned to his mom, oblivious to the thoughts running through his head. He had a shiny pebble in his hand, clutching it tightly as he stared at it.

She didn't know where he had gotten it from, so when he began to bring it towards his mouth to taste it, she quickly intercepted her own hand, catching the pebble and making an authoritative gesture for it.

"But _kaa-san_," Naruto whined, looking up at her pleadingly. "I just want to know what it is…"

"And you can tell from taste?" she asked him, eyebrows raised as she examined the pebble. It was flecked with shiny metallic like specks, what she knew to be called mica.

He reached for the rock again instead of answering, and she let him have it. It seemed clean enough, and the mica wouldn't hurt him. But he didn't put it in his mouth, for which she was grateful.

_What if he did that at school and the teacher didn't notice?_ She began to panic again different scenarios whirling through her head. _He could seriously hurt himself with all the weird things he tries to 'taste' or eat, and not everything can be childproof. Goodness knows nature isn't..._

She had to stop the thoughts before she went crazy.

They had reached the school, a large building made of bricks and metal, with a large field in front where other children Naruto's age ran around as parents stood in groups, talking.

Her little blond boy looked back at her for permission, and upon receiving her nod raced off to join the play, immediately assimilating himself with a group of boys.

She herself moved forward and joined a group of moms, each of whom were keeping a watchful eye on their kid.

"So, how safe is this place?" she asked lightly, trying not to seem too nervous in front of the other mothers.

Inuzuka Tsume wasn't fooled though. "Yeah it's safe here," she told Tsunade without preamble. "The teachers make sure the kids don't hurt themselves by running with scissors or some stupid thing like that, and that they don't eat anything; especially not something small enough to hurt them."

Unconsciously, Tsunade relaxed. The woman had just relieved two of her strongest fears. "And when they play outside?"

"There's always someone on duty," and Tsume flapped her hand at a woman leaning against the side of the building, her watchful eyes scanning between all of the children. "They make sure the kids don't fall into the stream, eat a stick, or do something else idiotic like fall out of a tree. Mine almost did, the first day, but one of the teachers was close by and was ready to catch."

"They let them climb those things?" Tsunade was appalled. The trees were big, with thick branches and trunks. A fall from one of the branches could be five feet or more.

"Well sure, how else will they learn?" Tsume asked her, eyes probing. "Can't protect them in bubble wrap forever. Gotta let them experience the world, and some of the pain that comes with it. Our job is just to let them have it a bit at a time."

There was wisdom in her words, however harsh they were. As Tsunade mulled them over, the woman against the building moved forward, clapping her hands loudly. "Come children, time to go inside!" she called, voice pitched to carry.

Most children ran right towards her, only the new ones going to their mothers first. Naruto came running up to his mother, shiny pebble still clenched firmly in his fist.

"_Kaa-san_?" he asked, and although he didn't specify his question, she knew what he meant.

"Go." She gave him a soft kiss on the forehead, brushing a hand through his spiky blond hair. "I'll pick you up this afternoon."

He nodded, running off towards the woman, but he looked back at her once more just before he joined the crowd of kids.

She just gave him a wave and a nod, watching her little boy disappear among all the other children his age. _He'll be fine_.

When she picked him up that day, even while he was babbling about how amazing the day had been and all his new friends, she saw he was still clutching that pebble.


	66. Maelstrom

I don't know where this came from, except that when everything is happening around me at a really fast pace and I don't know what's going on, that's what it feels like. Being in a maelstrom...

I tried to get the sense of spinning faster and faster, confusion, not knowing what was going on in the first part. Please tell me if I got it to work?

Enjoy.

* * *

Maelstrom

Churning colors, mixing and blending together. That was all she saw. A whirlpool of reds, blues, yellows, and all the colors in between flowed before her eyes, and she couldn't look away.

Her head was locked in position, unable to move back and forth as the beginnings and ends of the colors faded away, but that wasn't all she saw.

Brief flashes of light, as though shining off of tendrils of hair, light feather touch brushes that she could feel on her arms, shoulders, face.

They were running around her, she could almost hear the squeals and giggles, the yells and shouts, the whispers. The hums. The questions, the answers. But she couldn't open her own mouth to respond.

It was as though she was at the center of a maelstrom; things were happening all around her, touching her, talking to her, sights and smells assaulted her, she couldn't take them all in.

Her brother's voice was next to her ear; she turned and he was gone. In his place was a golden blur that streaked away laughing, leaving a trail of pitch darkness. The scent assailed her nose, death and decay, but it was vanquished by the light smell of roses, a memory of a long ago past. The hand touched her on her shoulder, disappearing to touch her head, her back, her nose. She couldn't see it.

Something was twining around her body, binding her tighter and tighter, she couldn't escape, couldn't breathe, couldn't scream, couldn't hear, couldn't smell…

Her eyes snapped open.

"So you've joined us." His voice was slow and melodic, a tone she should have been able to place. "You've been out for a few weeks."

A white head entered her vision. "Do you know who I am?"

Obsidian eyes stared into hers, probing.

She opened her mouth to respond, nothing came out. She tried again, moistening lips and tongue dry from disuse, dry from screaming. Or so she thought. How could she be sure what was real and what was fantasy?

"Tsunade." His voice snapped her back to reality.

Cool water touched her lips, flowing through her parched mouth and down her throat, restoring function. She tried to speak once more, and this time a moan emerged.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

She wracked her brains. Fighting with her teammates; taking a hit, one that sent her flying into a tree, then the swirling colors. The maelstrom. She didn't want to go back.

He touched her shoulder, easing her shuddering. "You have to tell me what you remember. You don't have to go into details."

She took a breath. "Fighting. Someone got behind me, I don't know who. Then flying." Another breath.

"You're doing great." His voice was low. Encouraging.

"Darkness. Then colors, sounds, smells…I don't know."

Her frame trembled slightly; for all that she wasn't very petite, there didn't seem to be very much of her at the moment.

"You don't have to remember those," he soothed her. "You didn't lose any memory. You're in Konoha now, you're safe."

She tried to reach up a hand, was surprised when she saw it enter her vision. Then it was grasped onto his arm, a death grip that wouldn't let go.

"I'm sorry." It came out ragged, through broken gasps.

"For what?" He was genuinely surprised, she could see it in his face.

"I let…you down."

"You did no such thing." Jiraiya's hand smoothed over her own, relaxing the death grip just enough that it was a clasp, one of reassurance. "We're all here and fine, you're the worst hurt. And you'll be better soon."

"Promise?" Her eyes sought his, seeking the truth.

He looked straight into her eyes, never flinching. "Promise."

He stayed there until she had relaxed back into sleep, but her hand never left his sleeve, and he didn't try to pull away.


	67. Backfired Prank

This started off as rain but then...it kind of changed. Whoops. ^^; Anyway this was in response to a dare from Ella Unlimited - 'He laughed, the kind of laughter that hurt your stomach and made tears fall from your eyes. The kind of laughter that left you gasping for air and unable to stop. The kind that earned glares from old ladies and stares from others. Then he paused and looked up from his knelt over position. "Oh, you were serious?"'

Now I only have...1...2...3...4...5! 5 more dares! Gotta get cracking!

Enjoy!

* * *

Backfired Prank

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

Tsunade's eyebrow twitched at the sound. Wherever it was coming from, she couldn't concentrate on the evil in front of her known as paperwork. And if she couldn't get her paperwork she couldn't get her _sake_.

_Drip. Drip. Dri~~~~~p._

This time the twitch was visible, a shake of the shoulders. She concentrated on her ears, trying to pinpoint the location of the sound.

_Drip. Drip. Dr –_

There it was. In a flash Tsunade was out of her chair, pen flying across the room like a _shuriken _to lodge in the ceiling; a miniscule hole through which water had been falling.

What she didn't expect was to hear an _"Ow!"_ from that same area as her pen disappeared_ through_ the hole.

The blonde woman frowned up at the ceiling. Above her office was only the roof, and who would have business on the roof? She had an idea.

Tsunade slid open one of the windows, jumping out of it with a graceful leap and quickly making her way to the roof with a judicious use of _chakra_.

Sure enough her white-haired former teammate was rolling on the ground, clutching his arm and muttering profanities. On the ground beside him lay her pen, the sharp point slightly red.

"_Jiraiya_," she began in a far too friendly tone. "What are you doing up here?" She could see a bucket of water next to him. Did he really not have anything to occupy his time with but annoying her?

"Oh, Tsunade!" He grinned at her innocently, quickly moving in front of the incriminating bucket. "So rare to see you out of the office…" Jiraiya trailed off, his face falling as she marched past him and grabbed the bucket.

"I don't like to repeat myself." Manicured red nails tapped impatiently on the metal. "What are you doing up here?"

"Nothing of importance –" he stopped abruptly as the contents of the bucket flooded over him.

"Don't lie to me!" she barked, out of patience with him and her lack of _sake_. "You were deliberately disturbing me, trying to annoy me!"

"Guilty as charged," he finally said, looking up at her. "Tell you what. I'll get you some _sake_ as repayment." The best thing to do to head off an angry Tsunade was get her drunk, and fast.

But she wasn't having any of it. "No, I have a better idea. And if you do it, I promise I won't come hunting you down later." Her eyes gleamed at the prospect of his task, something the other _sannin _didn't pick up on.

"Really?" Anything to get Tsunade off his case for disturbing her work.

"Really. All you have to do is be Naruto's assistant as I let him be _Hokage_ for a day." For him to be at Naruto's beck and call while the blond boy has the most power in the village would be extremely hilarious for her. And they were at peacetime anyway, so one day couldn't hurt.

He laughed, the kind of laughter that hurt your stomach and made tears fall from your eyes. The kind of laughter that left you gasping for air and unable to stop. The kind that earned glares from old ladies and stares from others. Then he paused and looked up from his knelt over position. "Oh, you were serious?"

"Yup!" She grinned at him, enjoying his spreading expression of fear and disbelief. "And you have to clean up any political messes he creates in the village." That would keep the whole headache out of her hair.

"But – but – Naruto?" he asked almost desperately, trying to get her to take it back. She couldn't be that cruel…

"Keep talking and I'll make it two!" She held up said two fingers, smirking at him. He immediately shut up.

In the office below she could hear Shizune rummaging around, no doubt wondering where she had gone.

"Shizune!" Tsunade called out authoritatively, knowing her voice would carry.

"Tsunade-_sama_?" Her assistant's head popped out of the window below. "What are you doing up there?"

"Never mind that. Naruto is going to take my place as _Hokage_ tomorrow. It'll be good experience for him since he still wants the position. And Jiraiya will be his assistant, so anything that goes wrong will be on his head," she announced.

There was no mistaking the brief expression of glee that played over Shizune's face. "Does that mean I have the day off?" It was a testament to how tired Shizune was of the work that she didn't protest the insanity of the decision.

"Precisely!" Tsunade crowed, grinning at her assistant. "And now, I think I'll take the day off."

She wiggled her fingers at the dumbstruck Jiraiya in a flirty goodbye, then high tailed it off the rooftop, making for the nearest bar after finding Naruto to tell him the news. She couldn't wait to see how Jiraiya fared as Naruto's assistant at his every whim.


	68. A Day as Hokage

So, by popular demand, a continuation on the last drabble I put up! Unfortunately I couldn't find a way to work another dare into this one, so my number of dares has actually _grown_ to six. ^^; Really better start working on those - I'm sorry to all whose dares have been postponed a week or longer...yours will be done soon! I swear!

And as a side note - THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL WHO READ THIS! It hit 10k hits today, making me SO HAPPY! *Glomp to all* It's only been almost three months!

Hope you enjoy Jiraiya's torture!

Oh and two of the devices of Jiraiya's torture were suggested by Kaiser969 and Dagomon - one each =)

* * *

A Day as Hokage

It was the day she had been dreaming of. She was _Hokage_, but it was her day off! And even better, she wouldn't have to clean up the messes made while she wasn't on watch. That was Jiraiya's job.

Speaking of which…

"Good morning!" the blonde lady chirped as two people entered the office. She was sitting in her nice wheeled chair, turned to face the window.

_"Baa-chan!"_ Naruto exclaimed racing forward as she swiveled around. "Do I really get to be _Hokage_ for a day?"

She chuckled, keeping mirthful eyes on Jiraiya's fearful ones as he mouthed the words "no, no, no…"

"Yes Naruto, you get to be _Hokage_ for a day, and that means you can do whatever you want, and Jiraiya gets to clean up all your messes."

"Really?" His eyes sparked as he turned to grin at the white-haired man who was seriously considering running except for the fact he knew Tsunade would hunt him down. "Everything?"

"Everything," Tsunade confirmed, getting up out of her chair. In a casual move, she picked up the red _Hokage_ hat resting on the desk and put it over Naruto's head. "Have fun!"

She sauntered out of the office, clapping Jiraiya on the shoulder as she left. Of course she wouldn't go far, she wanted to watch the drama unfold.

The moment the door shut she heard Naruto's yell of joy, which predictably came out as "_Ramen!_"

Time to be one step ahead. Tsunade headed directly to Ichiraku's, where she knew Naruto would drag Jiraiya.

Just as predicted, the blond boy showed up, tugging along his reluctant white-haired companion, and yelled cheerily, "Ten bowls of beef and miso ramen_, ojii-san_!" Then he grinned and gestured to Jiraiya next to him. "He's paying!"

Tsunade grinned as she watched the blood draining out of the man's face; no doubt he was counting and recounting the money in his bank account. She and her teammate had taken the blond boy out to Ichiraku's_, _and they had learned exactly what kind of bottomless stomach Naruto had.

Naruto had almost worked his way through his twenty bowls of ramen when he was interrupted. Tsunade flinched back from her spot against the building next to Ichiraku'sas the little kids ran past, immediately clinging to Naruto.

"Naruto_-nii-san_!" the boy in the lead cried, his blue scarf trailing behind him, as the two others called_ "Boss!"_

"Hey guys!" he greeted them, slurping up the last of the broth in his twentieth bowl. "What's up?"

"_Nii-san_, will you play ninja with us?" Konohamaru begged, looking up at the blond boy with pleading eyes. "Please, please, please…"

"Sorry guys," Naruto told them, prying their hands off his pants and shirt. "I'm the _Hokage _for the day!" He gestured grandly to the hat positioned jauntily on his head. "I got important stuff to do, but Jiraiya can play with you!"

The _sannin_ did a quick double take between Naruto and the kids. "Say what? You want me to play 'ninja' with these_ gaki_?"

"Yup!" Naruto nodded sagely, crossing his arms officially. "And you get to be the bad guy, I would start running."

"Yay!" the three cheered, pulling out toy _kunai_. Jiraiya gave them one glance before sending a pleading one at Naruto. "I have to?"

Naruto simply grinned as a toy _kunai_ hit the poor man. "They won't stop."

"_Kuso,_" Jiraiya cursed, making a swift departure from the ramen stand. "I hate you," he added as he passed the guffawing Tsunade who was leaning back against the building for support.

"Good luck!" she called after him, wiggling her fingers in his wake.

Afternoon found Tsunade enjoying her time off with a well-deserved soak in the hot springs. She so rarely got to use the luxury because they were closed by the time she left the office, so any chance she had she utilized.

"Whatcha doing?" The voice was a whisper, one she almost couldn't make out.

The few other women in the same spring seemed to hear it too as they tensed slightly.

"Shhh," another voice responded, just as low.

"Why are you here?" the first voice persisted. It sounded young…

"Doing research," the second voice bit back. That one was older…Tsunade had a sneaking suspicion who was behind that fence.

Now the other ladies were sitting up, eyes beginning to train on a board with a convenient hole in it.

"I know what you're doing, you're peeking! As _Hokage_ I order you to stop!" The first voice was louder and outraged, and Tsunade correctly identified it as Naruto's. Which meant the other person was Jiraiya.

Quickly grabbing a towel, she darted out of the pool and straight towards the board, charging _chakra_ into her right fist.

"Crap!" she heard from the other side, as Jiraiya attempted to dart away, but she wasn't a _kunoichi _for nothing. Her fist slammed through the boards, splintering them, and right into the man behind them.

Naruto was standing off to the side, pointing a quivering finger at the now groaning man on the ground. "How could you!"

Behind Tsunade, the other women, all _kunoichi_, gathered at the opening, each with a menacing expression adorning their face.

"Thanks kid," called Yuugao, grinning at Naruto. "Looks like you caught us a peeper."

"N-No problem!" Naruto yelled back, edging slowly away from the women. "As _Hokage_, I order you to stay here, _Ero-sennin_!" he added before sprinting away.

Tsunade watched him go before turning her attention back to the man on the ground who was attempting to inch away. "And where do you think you're going? Your _Hokage_ ordered you to stay here. We'll reinforce that, won't we girls?"

A chorus of assent came from the group behind her.

Tsunade had the satisfaction of watching Jiraiya turn pale as the women descended upon him.

She didn't join in though. She had a boy to seek out and relieve of his powers before he caused too much damage without Jiraiya around to take the blame.


	69. Rain and Tears

This dare definitely caught me in a melancholy mood - going back to college, leaving the friends still here and home for another month and a half to work my butt off. Who wouldn't be sad?

The dare was from addster - 'She looks down on the baby, who sleeps soundly in his crib, while his mother sheds tears of pain as she drops a kiss on his soft forehead and walks away.' - had to change the tense though, sorry I work best in past not present.

Enjoy...and try not to cry?

* * *

Rain and Tears

"Shhhh, shhhh," Tsunade whispered, walking around the room slowly. She cradled the warm bundle in her arms closer to her shoulder, trying to get it to quiet down. "It'll be okay, baby boy…"

Blond hair became visible as the blankets covering the baby's head slipped, and watery blue eyes looked up at the woman. Then his tiny mouth opened and he let loose another cry.

"Shhhh," Tsunade tried desperately again, walking over to the window while gently bouncing her baby. Rain was trickling down the glass, barely visible in the dark pre-dawn, but she knew soon enough the sun would come up; she had been awake all night with her fussy baby.

She didn't want to remember him like this, his face streaked with tears, almost as though he knew what she was going to do. She much preferred her bouncing sunshine boy, always with a smile on his face and a giggle just for her.

His crying stopped for a few moments as he looked curiously at the window, trying to turn around in her arms. She let him, watching as he reached out with a small chubby hand to touch the cold window, trying to get to the rain drops on the other side.

Instead his hand left a small print in the fog covering the inner pane, down to each finger. He pulled his hand back quickly at the cold, then pressed it to her cheek.

She held it there, savoring the feel, the scent of him. She would miss her baby boy.

Slowly he began to quiet, worn out from his continuous crying and staying awake for so long, relaxing back into her arms and snuggling his head into the crook of her neck.

She held his head there, running her fingers lightly through his blond hair, playing with it. She didn't even flinch as she felt something wet on her neck.

Finally he fell asleep, his body completely limp and an arm wrapped around her neck. She detached him from her body, making sure he was snugly wrapped up in the blanket.

He didn't stir as she placed him down in his crib, completely tired from the night's crying. The sun was rising, barely visible through the gray clouds still covering the sky, but enough to cast a dim pane of light onto the floor of the nursery, the tracks of rain reflected as well.

She felt her own tears begin to start as she placed him there, but held them back. She couldn't let any sound escape lest she wake him. Her eyes drifted over to the window, gazing at and memorizing her son's miniature handprint, imprinting it indelibly on her heart.

She looked down at the baby, sleeping soundly in his crib while his mother shed tears of pain; she dropped a kiss on his soft forehead and walked away.

The rain poured down on her, soaking her to the bone the moment she stepped outside. Her tears mingled with the rain so she couldn't tell which was which.

"It's for the best, baby boy," she whispered to herself as she made her way down the still dark street. "It's the only way to protect you, Naruto."


	70. Defense

This whole thing kind of ended up being an action sequence...^^; - was in response to the long ago dare from Timber Wolf of Purity - 'She gasped in the air gratefully and looked up to see his hand reaching outto her."Need a little help?" He asked her, heaving her off the floor'

And yes. There's rain. =D

Thought it needed a little cuteness at the end though! Enjoy!

* * *

Defense

"Tsunade!" Jiraiya cried out as he watched his teammate lose control over her _chakra_ and fall beneath the surface of the water. The rain was obscuring his vision, but he couldn't see her opponent either.

The blonde woman struggled, fighting to get her head above the tumbling waves and out into the air, where she could draw a breath. The enemy _shinobi_ she had been fighting had pulled her down into the water, into his domain.

She kicked out at him, cursing the resistance of the water, and flickered through hand seals. A geyser of water shot up from beneath her, propelling Tsunade out of the water and back onto the boat she and Jiraiya were guarding.

The captain of the vessel and its warriors had been slain in the initial attack, and the three Konoha _shinobi_ were the only protection it had left.

She gasped in the air gratefully and looked up to see his hand reaching out to her.

"Need a little help?" He asked her, heaving her off the rain-soaked deck.

"Yeah, thanks," she told him, getting ready for the next attack, planting her feet firmly despite the rain. "These _Kiri-nin_ are a pain in the ass."

Jiraiya's agreement was cut short as another wave of water washed over the boat. "Time to get back to work."

Orochimaru had been separated from them a while ago, drawn away to fight off three of the lower leveled _Kiri-nin_; he would have beaten them but for the fact they were at a distinct advantage on the ocean.

Three heads popped up from the water, surrounding the vessel in a triangle. Slowly the _shinobi_ rose from the water, forming hand seals in sync as Jiraiya and Tsunade maneuvered themselves back to back in a defensive position.

"Do you know what they're doing?" the blonde woman whispered to her comrade, keeping an eye on two of the _shinobi_.

"No, but whatever it is, it's not good," he replied grimly. "Our best bet is to break the triangle and make at least one stop forming the seals."

They nodded in unison, each leaping for one of the enemies. Jiraiya let loose a blast of fire from his mouth, but the rain quickly dampened the effect, and his enemy sidestepped the rest.

Tsunade took a different approach, landing on the water and forming a few quick seals, then slapped her hand down on the surface of the ocean. A bolt of lightning shot through the water, darting straight for her opponent. He never had a chance to dodge.

She sent a quick glance over at Jiraiya, but he looked to be handling his opponent quite well.

As she ran towards the third member of the triangle, Tsunade heard a low voice behind her. "Not so fast, girlie."

In a moment she had spun around, _kunai_ out and blocking the _katana_ descending upon her, sparks flying from the wet metal.

The man she faced used his superior breadth to push down on her, putting Tsunade at a disadvantage. Until she released her _chakra_.

The blonde woman dropped beneath the ocean's surface, lashing out with her _kunai _as she did so, cutting a bloody trail down the man's leg. Even underwater she could hear him cursing.

She was unable to move quickly beneath the water however, and when his grasping hand plunged down, she couldn't prevent him grabbing her arm and yanking her into the air once more.

The rain pelted down on her like bullets from the speed of her travel, and he quickly twisted her arm up behind her back.

"Now you're going to answer this nicely, girlie," he spat at her. "Where is –"

He cut off in surprise as with an athletic twist, Tsunade executed a neat flip that brought her around behind him, and grabbed his own wrist, turning him expertly and incapacitating him.

"Don't call me girlie," she chided him before ending his life.

From her left, Jiraiya came running up across the swelling waves, barely visible through the curtains of rain. "Did we do it?" she panted, the fatigue from her battles catching up.

"Yeah, I don't sense anymore _chakra_ signatures," Jiraiya responded, draping her arm around his shoulders for support. "Oro-_teme_ showed up a few minutes ago, he's guarding the boat."

"Good."

They made their way slowly back to the vessel, taking care not to fall as the waves tried to unbalance them, their sodden clothing only making the journey more arduous.

Finally they arrived, Jiraiya letting go of Tsunade as she leaned against the cabin in the center of the deck. Orochimaru was standing on the bow, and the white-haired man moved to stand at the aft, leaving Tsunade to handle the next part alone.

She opened the door slowly, peeking into the tiny room.

"Are they gone?" a voice asked, small with terror.

"They're gone," she reassured the voice, and opened the door all the way.

Five children crept out of the cabin, hugging tightly to her legs as they looked around, trying to see if there were any bad guys left, not caring if they were soaked by the rain.

"Promise?" asked the biggest of the five, tugging on her pants leg to get her to look down at him.

"Promise," she reassured him, crouching to his level and smoothing back bangs plastered to his forehead. "They won't bother you anymore."


	71. Under the Moonlight

This was in response to an anonymous review left by Snakekiss - Can you perhaps write a sweet scene with Jiraiya and Tsunade?With cuddling and gentle kisses? Please? - And in response to said anonymous review - thank you so much =) I'm glad you like the oneshots!

In response to the dares I have - I have 7 still unwritten. I am getting to them I swear, but which ones I write doesn't depend on when they were given, but rather my mood and how well I think I can write them. I _will_ do them all, but some will take me longer than others.

So I've never written anything like this really - I think the closest I came was when they were drunk and thats not nearly the same. That and I've never had any real life experiences like this to draw on lol...

I hope its good!

* * *

Under the Moonlight

"I knew I'd find you up here," came Jiraiya's deep voice as he completed the climb up the hill.

She was lying on her back, hands behind her head as she gazed up at the stars, view unobstructed by clouds.

"Hmm?" Her head turned, eyes half closed as they gazed at the white-haired man. "So you did."

"Thinking?" he asked, sitting down behind her and she adjusted accordingly, leaning back against his chest as she sat between his legs.

"Hmm," she agreed, the sound vibrating in her chest.

Jiraiya nuzzled her ear, pushing away silky blonde strands with his nose. "About what?"

She didn't respond, and he turned his head from her ear to look into her eyes as she nestled back against him. "_Hime?_"

"Just thinking about us," she smiled at him, stretching up and planting a gentle kiss on his lips.

His eyes closed and he enjoyed the sensation, wrapping his arms around her waist as she leaned into him.

They separated just as gently, and both looked back up at the stars, noting those which shone most brightly.

Jiraiya intertwined his right hand with hers, and reached up with their two index fingers. "See that star?"

She followed the line of their arms, hands, and fingers, looking at the bright, almost blue, star he pointed at. "Mhm."

"That's our star; do you know why?"

She wrapped his free arm tighter around her waist as she snuggled deeper against his warm body. "No, why?"

"Because that's the first star I see every night when I think about you." This time he leaned down and gently brushed his lips over hers.

"Hmm, really?" She contemplated the star, noting its position. She would never forget it.

"Yup." He planted another kiss on the tip of her nose, then the top of her head.

Tsunade found that if she moved her head just right, she could hear his heart beating under her ear. She didn't mind she could no longer see the stars; she was content to just relax and listen to him.

"Tell me about your day?" she asked him, looking up at Jiraiya with half-lidded eyes.

He began explaining his day to her but she didn't listen to the words, just the rumble of his voice under her ear as she gazed across the grassy hilltop, moonlight glistening off the blades of grass.

She hugged the arm across her waist to her with both of her own arms, playing with his hand as she began to drift off.

Dimly, almost as though in a dream, she felt him place more gentle kisses on her eyelids and forehead, before one last one on the top of her head as he stroked her back with his free hand.

She fell asleep in his embrace on that hilltop in the moonlight.


	72. Choosing

In response to a dare I got a few weeks ago from DarkShadowRaven - a one-shot about Naruto askingadvice about girls. I imagine Jiraiya boasting about how attractive and dashing he was, and Tsunade shooting him down with him being just a peeping tom who women avoided... and both giving their intake on girls (Jiraiya telling him to go after the ones with curves and Tsunade telling him to go after sweet good girls and both ending up arguing)

It got a bit changed. Sorry.

* * *

Choosing

"_Tou-san_?" Naruto walked up to where his dad was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper.

"Yeah? What's up?" The man's attention didn't waver from the paper; there were a slew of fashion show pictures in the paper and they deserved his worship. As long as his wife didn't find out…

"I need help choosing a girl."

All of a sudden all of Jiraiya's focus was on his son. "A girl? My son is finally growing up to be a man? I'm so proud!" He wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. "So what do you need help with?"

"Choosing between Sakura and Hinata." Naruto sat down, looking up seriously at his father. "I like both of them, but Hinata is so shy, and Sakura is so outgoing, but Sakura hates me and I think Hinata likes me…" his voice trailed off.

"Ah," Jiraiya's eyes lit up with a gleam. "This is quite simple. All you look for is the curves. Just like this lovely lady here!" He gestured to the picture in the paper now lying open on the table. "Whoever has the most wins!"

"The most curves what?" Tsunade entered the door behind the two, placing a bag of groceries on the counter. "What are you two up to?"

"Nothing!" Jiraiya jumped to reassure her, but the blonde woman's eyes fell on the open paper.

"What are you telling him _Jiraiya_?" She stressed the man's name as her face settled into an eerie calm.

"_Tou-san_ is helping me choose between two girls!" Naruto piped up, not understanding why his father was trying to hush him. "He says the one with the most curves wins!"

"Oh really?" Tsunade asked mildly, sliding into the seat next to her husband. "Do tell."

"O-Okay," Jiraiya stuttered, casting a wary sideways glance at his wife. "There was Ami, Suzuki, Hana, Kin…all beautifully curvaceous. And of course they all worshiped me…"

"You mean Ami, who cut off all your hair, Suzuki who hit you into a locker, Hana who made you fetch everything, and of course Kin who –" Tsunade corrected, grinning slightly.

"Hey now, just because you're jealous," Jiraiya began, cutting off his wife's rant.

"You couldn't catch a single buxom girl you went after," Tsunade told him ruthlessly. "You ignored all the nice ones you should have dated, who would have loved to date you!"

"Well obviously you aren't on that list!" he retorted, turning to face her fully, forgetting his son. "You were flat chested and mean all through high school and college!"

"Hey! Just because you couldn't keep a girl in your life because you perved on all of them –"

They were both standing, Tsunade backing Jiraiya up towards the door. "And the next time I see you looking at those pictures and trying to corrupt our son –" Jiraiya didn't stay to hear the rest, instead running out the door with his wife on his heels.

Naruto remained sitting at the kitchen table, looking after his parents for a few seconds before redirecting his attention to the paper still on the table. "So who should I choose then?" he wondered out loud.


	73. News

This is in response to a dare from Ella Unlimited - Jiraiya never died- and he continued to train Naruto until the day he was named Hokage at the age of 19. Now 21 and married to Hinata, he decides to visit his old sensei and HIS wife, Tsunade with some big news. - she suggested two different approaches and I kind of took all of the options in ;) SO most of these ideas are hers! =D

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

News

_Knockknockknockknockknock –_ the sound cut off as the door was yanked open by an old man with white hair, in his late sixties.

"Hey _gaki_!" Jiraiya greeted the twenty-one year old _Hokage_, giving him an affectionate clap on the shoulder. "Where's Hinata?"

"She couldn't come today," Naruto replied, grinning easily. "Had something important to do."

"What's more important than talking to her almost-grandparents?" Jiraiya chuckled, pulling his student inside the house. "Hey, _hime_, Naruto's here!"

"I know!" she shouted from the kitchen, and came out through the doorway, wiping her hands on a towel. Ever since retiring from the position of _Hokage_ two years ago, she had become slightly more domestic, to the point of having Hinata teach her how to cook.

"Tsunade-_baa-chan_!" Naruto greeted warmly. He had never stopped calling her that and she had stopped protesting when he became _Hokage_. She figured he had earned the right.

"What brings you by, Naruto?" she asked, getting straight to the point as they all sat down at the table in the main room. "Usually we have to work our way into your busy schedule."

"Do I have to have a reason to visit my old _sensei_ and his wife?" the blond man asked innocently, leaning back in his chair.

"Hey, who are you calling old?" Jiraiya immediately protested, trying to slap Naruto on the arm.

"Ah, ah, ah," the _Hokage_ waved a finger at Jiraiya. "Too slow."

"Men," Tsunade groused, sending a good-natured glare at them both. "Always getting off track."

"Have you heard about the new ramen stall?" Naruto changed the subject. "I've been meaning to get down there and try some, but I haven't had time."

Jiraiya snorted in disbelief. "You? Not have time for ramen? Perish the thought."

"It's true! I've been so busy with other more important things, I've barely had time to eat some days."

"Ah, the life of the _Hokage_," Tsunade sighed. "So glad I retired."

"Oh! And Hinata made me bring this by –" Naruto reached into the small bag he had brought with him, pulling out a box. "A three year's late wedding present. Sorry." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "We got a bit caught up in other things."

"A present, finally?" Jiraiya grabbed the box from Naruto's hands, opening it quickly. "What's this?" He pulled out a bowl with an interior liner and a top with a button.

"It's a salad mixer!" he told them cheerily, enjoying the mild rage on Tsunade's face as she got the implication. "We figured it was one of the few safe foods _baa-chan _could make."

"You little _gaki_," the blonde woman growled, resisting her urge to throttle the boy – man.

"No, no, it's a good present," Jiraiya chuckled, pushing the button on the top experimentally. "At least you won't burn down the kitchen!"

"I've gotten better, at least you'll eat my cooking now," Tsunade shot back, "which is more than I can say for yours."

"Ah, but that's what restaurants are for."

"Eating out every night is a waste of money."

"It's not as though we don't have enough from my books and your retirement."

Naruto grinned, watching to two argue back and forth, waiting for just the right moment when they forgot he was there. Finally it came.

"Oh, and Hinata's pregnant and at the doctors."

The moment the words left his mouth he was up and running for the door.

Tsunade and Jiraiya stared at each other in shock, then after the fleeing blond man.

"Pregnant?" Tsunade tested out the word. "Doctor?"

Then both she and Jiraiya were up and running after Naruto. "_Gaki, get your ass back here!"_


	74. Meeting the Parents

I hate it when I have no motivation. It is the ultimate writers block. I had to scrap a drabble before this because it was crap, and even this one was not as easy as is usual. And I still have to finish a chapter for my larger fic by tomorrow morning...gah. I hate April. Make it go away.

This was in response to a dare from Ella Unlimited - AU dare. Tsunade and Jiriya are Naruto's parents. Naruto his bringing his new girlfriend, Hinata, home to meet them.

Enjoy

* * *

Meeting the Parents

"C'mon, Hinata!" Naruto urged, standing on the front porch of his house. "They won't bite, I promise!"

"Are you sure, Naruto?" she asked shyly, pushing the tips of her two forefingers together. "I don't want to intrude…"

"They know you're coming," he assured her. "They're looking forward to meet you!"

She blushed slightly, looking down at the wooden boards of the porch. "But…"

"No buts!" he grabbed her hand and pushed the front door open. "Mom! Dad! I brought her!"

"Hinata!" Tsunade bustled out of the sitting room, a genial smile on her face. "Welcome!"

"Yes, welcome indeed," Jiraiya called from the top of the staircase. He slid down the banister to the ground, grinning the whole way. "We've been expecting you!"

Hinata started back a step as he landed with a thump, losing his balance and falling flat on his face.

Tsunade just laughed at him, watching him lay on the ground, cradling his nose. "Serves you right; you didn't learn from the last ten times!"

"I thought I could make it this time!" he whimpered, standing up straight. He checked his hand for blood, and satisfied there was none there, held out his other for Hinata to shake.

She shied back from the gesture, then at Naruto's silent urging, tentatively took it and gave it a quick shake before letting go and hiding her own hand behind her back.

"So Hinata," Tsunade began, placing a gentle hand on her back and ushering her into the sitting room, "how are you?"

"I'm…I'm very well, thank you," she stuttered, all eyes as she looked around the comfortable room.

Naruto bounded in after them, flopping down on the couch and pulling his girlfriend down to sit next to him. She squeaked but allowed him to, although she didn't relax.

"So Hinata," Tsunade began, bracing her elbows on her knees as she sat across from the couple. "How is school?"

Such an innocuous question, yet Hinata still blushed and looked down, shy.

"She gets straight A's, mom!" Naruto announced proudly, placing a friendly arm around her shoulders. "She's brilliant!"

"Straight A's?" Jiraiya asked, coming in with a paper towel held to his nose just in case. "Sounds like Naruto could take some lessons from you."

"Hey!"

"Well if you got better grades –"

"Ignore them," Tsunade told Hinata as she watched Naruto shout over the girl at his father. "They never stop. So how did you meet Naruto?"

Hinata's whole countenance brightened at that question. "H-He was sitting next to me in homeroom, and some other students –"

"Some kids were picking on her," Naruto broke in astutely. "'Cause of her stammer. I made them stop." He scowled, blond eyebrows knitting as he took Hinata's hand. "It's not nice to make fun of others."

Tsunade didn't miss the happy expression that passed over the girl's face as Naruto held her hand. From Jiraiya's look, he didn't miss it either.

"Tell you what," the blonde woman told Hinata, grinning. "I heard from a little yellow bird," she raised an eyebrow at Naruto who glowered at her, "that you're an amazing cook. Can you teach me a few tricks?"

Again Hinata blushed until she looked almost like a tomato. "I-I'm not that good," she began.

"Nonsense!" Tsunade stood up and took Hinata's free hand, pulling her up off the couch. "Naruto raves about your cooking! And as he can tell you, I'm horrible at it. I would really appreciate the help." That was the right approach.

"If y-you need help, I'll gladly…"

"Perfect!"

Jiraiya waited until the girls had gone into the kitchen and shut the door, although he kept one ear alert for any noises of explosion due to habit, before sitting down next to his son on the couch.

"You really like her don't you?" he asked seriously, watching for Naruto's reaction.

"Yeah." The boy looked down at his hands as they clasped each other tightly. "I love her."

"Good," his father replied, clapping him on the shoulder. "Then remember this – treasure each and every moment with her, no matter how bad it seems. Just like I do with your mother. Then you'll never regret your life."


	75. Memories and Masks

This was something I thought up on the bus as we returned from a trip. The song I wrote a year and a half ago, so it's mine.

I'm trying a new thing with the ficlet, by putting it with the song, I hope it works.

I hate April. It causes this mood.

* * *

_As daylight turns to darkness_

She watched the sun set over the village, darkening the front gates from her view, a shadow creeping up to her office.

_And yellow fades to white_

The sun was long gone, as was its heat, and in its place hung the moon in the black star-studded sky, shining coldly down on her village.

_My tears fall with the sunset_

When the sun disappeared no one bothered her; she felt safe enough to cry, no one would see her.

_And crystallize with light._

She could never stay inside for it. The moonlight glinted off her tears as she stood at the bridge, looking down into the reflective water.

_Crying to forget_

She didn't want to remember them, but it was impossible not to. She saw the signs everywhere.

_The pain I have inside_

For the longest time she had tried to drown the memories in alcohol, but it never worked.

_Crying to forget_

She stared into the water, a bottle of _sake hanging from her hands. She kept wishing that maybe just this once it would work._

_The loneliness that hides_

She missed them. It was a hole in her chest that never left, buried deep inside.

_Nobody sees it_

Her job was to lead the village, not to show emotion.

_Nobody knows_

She didn't want their pity.

_My masked face hides it_

Every time someone came into her office, yet another mask slipped over her face.

_My sorrow never shows_

She refused to let it win.

_Hidden by the daylight_

Naruto was her daylight, her sunshine, with his bright yellow hair and cheery manner.

_Revealed by the white moon_

Jiraiya was her moon, shock-white hair, and the one person who had seen it all, knew everything, every last one of her secrets.

_I cry when no one sees me_

She refused to let Naruto see her tears. It was her job to be strong for him, not the other way around. He had enough burdens on his shoulders.

_Nobody but you._

Only Jiraiya was allowed to see them.

_You can feel my sorrow_

He had been there through it all, and had his own losses.

_You can feel my pain_

Nawaki, Dan, Minato, Kushina – and neither had their families.

_You feel same as I_

All they had were each other, the only other person who knew what they felt like.

_Our tears fall down like rain._

Rarely did Jiraiya cry with her, but when he did, the tears coursed silently down his face, following the red tracks on his cheeks as he leaned against the railing next to her on the bridge.

_Nobody sees it_

He masked it with his perverted nature, deliberately trying to make her laugh.

_Nobody knows_

Everyone saw her as the quick-tempered _Hokage, _stern and commanding yet strong, someone who cared about her village deeply. They saw him as a powerful sage, but a super pervert, one who went after every busty thing to move.

But that wasn't all they were.

_My masked face hides it_

Every day when she set foot in her office, she put on the façade. It was one facet of her personality, the one meant for the public.

_My sorrow never shows_

And when Naruto bounded into her office, she laughed with him, teased him, and scolded him, ignoring the heartache as he reminded her of the past. _  
_


	76. Prank Day

So I got this idea as a response to a dare from a senior prank...awesome idea it is. Almost as good as putting a cow on the roof or bricking up the doors. I hope I wrote it well. If not tell me and I shall rewrite.

The dare was from Ella Unlimited - It's kiddy time! It's back at the Acadamy, and the famous 9 are six years old. It's just a normal day until Naruto decides to pull a prank...

* * *

Prank Day

Naruto grinned, looking around the classroom expectantly. The day had only just started, and he already had plans to make the day go his way.

It wasn't that hard for someone of his pranking caliber.

Iruka had only just began to take roll after quieting the class down – an effort that took him the better part of half an hour and a _very _loud scream – when one of the teachers rushed in, hair in disarray.

"Iruka-_sensei! _They're everywhere! They're running all over the place, and we have a scheduled trip! You have to take care of them!" she almost shouted, slamming her hands down on the desk.

"I-I…what?" Iruka asked confused, but the woman just told him "Thanks!" and ran out again.

They heard the stampede of fast moving students and teachers, then the school was eerily silent.

"Well," Iruka sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Looks like we need to go figure out what the problem is. Come on class."

The eighteen six year olds that made up Iruka's first year academy class got up reluctantly, Chouji almost dragging a sleepy Shikamaru with him.

Iruka poked his head out into the hall tentatively, and when he saw nothing stepped out fully. "I wonder what she was talking –" He had to jump quickly out of the way as some form of bovine barreled past him; barely two feet tall, it still startled the man.

"A serow?" he asked, gazing after the creature. "What is that doing in here?"

A second one darted has the door frame as well, and this time Iruka was able to see the number on its side. 3.

Naruto stood behind his teacher, both hands clasped over his mouth as he struggled to muffle his laughter. He wondered how long it would take Iruka to notice.

A third serow passed the doorway, this time in the opposite direction, and he saw an 11 on its side.

Another sigh. Iruka turned to face his class, looking at the faces of the six year olds turned up to see him. "It would appear someone let a group of serow loose in the school. We might as well make this a training mission. Your goal is to split up into groups. Whoever finds the most serows wins."

"What's the prize _sensei?" _piped up one of the girls in the back.

"The winner gets to go last in the next practical test," Iruka responded. That would make them work for it. "Go!"

He stood aside as his class poured out into the hallway, breaking up into separate groups to search out and round up the escaped animals. After all, how many could there be?

Naruto just went up to the roof of the academy, not joining in the search. He knew they would find out the best part of the prank soon enough, and he wasn't going to waste effort searching for something that didn't exist.

Two hours later, and Iruka's class was gathered once more, as well as serows 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,10,11.

"Where's 9?" Iruka frowned, looking over the animals circling around in the largest room in the academy. "Didn't anybody find it?"

"No, _sensei," _they chorused, Naruto chiming in a beat later.

"It can't have escaped, can it?" Iruka continued patiently, gesturing towards the barred academy doors.

"No, _sensei,"_ the class responded again.

"Then where is it?" His eyes zeroed in on Naruto, who was bent almost double with silent laughter. "Naruto, do you know?"

"N-No, _sensei!"_ he managed to choke out, before falling to the ground and rolling on the floor. The kids around him moved away, glaring down at the boy, while Shikamaru took the advantage of the distraction to sit against the wall and doze.

"Naruto, did you do this?" Iruka asked sternly, frowning down at the blond boy.

Naruto nodded, still convulsed with laughter.

"_Is_ there a serow 9?"

A head shake.

"So we have them all?"

Naruto didn't respond to that one, but he could feel the killer intent, small as it was, coming off his classmates. He had made them waste a day of effort.

In a flash he was up and running, no longer laughing, as Kiba, Sasuke, and most of the annoyed girls in the class on his tail, determined to beat him up.


	77. Payback

Dare from Ella Unlimited - the first three lines are the dare XP

So fun to write! I guess what they said about blood donation is true - it does give you a sense of euphoria ^^; Well, it created this drabble!

The idea for the torture was from Kaiser969!

Enjoy!

* * *

Payback

He pushed himself harder than before, sweat slid down his forehead from effort and his breathing quickened. He strained every muscle, nerve, and atom of his body, his body stretching with pleasure as he quickly warmed up and worked. He grunted every once and awhile but other than that, no noise could be heard except the rhythmic pounding of his hands and legs hitting the tree.

"Hello!" A voice squeaked, he yelled and lost his balance, glaring as a girl stepped out of the shadows, a brilliant smile on her face.

"Garr!" He yelled, angry that he'd been disturbed, "What was that for!"

A shockingly blonde girl dressed in eye-watering neon green bounced up to him, grinning widely at his anger. "Teach me!"

"Say what?" He stared at her, eyes raking over the small girl. She was petite and stood barely four feet tall, with bright yellow hair and bright clothes to suit. And she was bouncing. Constantly.

"Teach me!" she repeated, bouncing around him in a circle. "Teach me teach me teach me teach me…"

"Teach you what?" he asked desperately, trying to get her to stop. Just her voice was giving him a headache.

"Teach me to be a _shinobi_!" she squealed, grabbing onto his arm.

He resisted the instant urge to shake her off, sure it would cause him only more headaches. "Why?"

"'Cause I want to be one!" she replied as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Teach me!"

He resisted the urge to slap both hands over his ears. He had to get rid of her.

"Fine, I'll teach you," he told her, extracting his arm from her grasp. "Lesson one – how to find a _shinobi!"_

He disappeared in a cloud of smoke, high-tailing it into the village. With luck she wouldn't be able to find him up on the rooftops.

He had only been up there for a minute when he heard a sound behind him. Only ANBU trained reflexes allowed him to avoid the high speed hug headed his way.

"Found you _sensei_!" the girl chirped, alighting lightly on the roof next to his as though she hadn't been dodged.

"How…?" he started to ask, then stopped himself. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to know…

"Can we do that again? That was fun!" she grinned at him, blonde hair bouncing as she did. "Please please please please…."

"Okay." Again he disappeared, this time heading towards the wall. It was much higher than any of the roofs…

It took her five minutes. "Boo!" she giggled, appearing in front of him in a streak of neon green. "More!"

He spent the whole morning trying to find hiding places, from the top of the _Hokage_ monument to the inside of his own apartment. And he had even triple checked the locks on the windows and doors there. Somehow she always found him quickly.

"_Sensei_, I'm hungry!" the girl whined, dragging on his large hand as he walked down the street. "Feed me feed me feed me feed me…"

"What do you want?" he sighed, running his other hand through his messy blond hair.

"_Ramen!"_

That at least he could go for. Maybe it would calm his nerves after dealing with her all morning.

That is, until he saw the amount she ate. The girl was worse than he was at her age; she sucked down fifty bowls with no problem and showed no sign of slowing down!

He was only on his tenth when she was finished, sitting back with a contented sigh and gazing at the stacks of bowls in front of her with a pleased eye. "Thanks _sensei!"_

He was counting up the money in his account and wincing at the number, when Teuchi came over. Just looking at the man's grin he could see his hard earned money disappearing into the black hole known as 'ramen payments'.

But instead the grin was for the girl. "Hello, Kioko-_chan_! I see you found one of my other regulars," the shopkeeper greeted the blonde menace. "As always, your ramen is on the house."

"Thanks Teuchi-_ojii-san_!" she grinned at him, somehow managing to bounce on her stool. She leaned over the counter and gave the man a quick but tight hug, then grinned at the blond man sitting next to her. "Thanks for the training!"

He sighed in relief as he placed all the money back in his bank account in his mind, and watched the streak of green run off. "She certainly is spirited," he remarked to the air.

"You have no idea," Teuchi grinned.

* * *

Six years later he was no longer an ANBU, and instead served as a _jounin_ – one required to take students.

Looking over the list of names he had been assigned, he frowned seeing one called Kioko. _It couldn't be…_

When he stepped into the classroom, he saw the same neon green clothes, the same bright blonde hair, and that hyperactive bouncing. "This will be interesting," he muttered to himself.

* * *

In the afterlife where they had both been for a few years, Tsunade and Jiraiya watched Naruto and the girl, laughing at his frustration. "Payback is a bitch," they grinned to each other.


	78. Gamachan

Response to a dare from Ella Unlimited! Now I just have 2 left! The dare is the first few lines before the line break...=)

Picture this taking place the first day of their hunt for Tsunade.

Enjoy!

* * *

Gama-_chan_

Naruto watched his_ sensei _sleeping, in a very stalker-ish way. His bright blue eyes watching his older counterpart sleep soundly, an almost evil grin coming across his tanned face.

"_Ero-sennin, _wake up." He whispered, poking the old man in the side. "Ero-_sennin_!"

"Naruto? What are you—"

But the young _shinobi_ didn't let another word pass through Jiraiya's mouth. "Where's my money you pervert!"

* * *

"Hey, Naruto," Jiraiya called, walking up the top of the hill his student was training on. "Where's your wallet?"

They had only been on the road for a day, and training had just begun.

"Huh?" The blond boy looked inquisitively up at the much taller man. "Why do you need Gama-_chan_?" He reached for his frog wallet protectively, squeezing it.

"You're still a _genin, _so if we get held up and separated at all, your money will be at risk," Jiraiya explained slowly, as though Naruto were dumb. "It would be much safer with me."

The boy pouted, a rebellious expression on his face. "He did just fine with me in Konoha."

"C'mon, _gaki_, just hand it over! I need to buy some food anyways," Jiraiya replied, exasperated.

"Fine." The fat orange frog was withdrawn from the equally as orange pocket and handed over with not a little reluctance. "You'll bring him back, right?"

The sage nodded, eyes lighting up as he flicked open the frog's mouth and saw the mounds of _ryou _notes. "He'll be back."_A lot emptier, _Jiraiya thought to himself, rubbing his hands together in his mind.___It's my payment for being his willing teacher._

Three bars, two dango stands, and one rather interesting fight later, Jiraiya found himself pulling the last of Naruto's money out of the orange frog. "Thank you, Gama-_chan_," he told the wallet courteously, suppressing a giggle at his actions.

The girl sitting next to him giggled as well, leaning heavily on his arm as she tried to get a look at it. "What a cute wallet! Is it yours?" Her eyelashes batted flirtatiously at him.

He had spent all night trying to make her happy – all in the order of information gathering of course, but who said he couldn't have a bit of fun while he was at it?

"Of course!" he told her heartily, handing over the wallet for inspection. "It's been mine for years."

"It's so cute!" she cried, hugging it to her chest. Suddenly Jiraiya was envious of the little orange wallet.

"Now, now," he reached over to take the wallet back, but the girl pouted at him.

"Can't I hold it, just for a bit?"

How could he say no?

* * *

"Ugh," Jiraiya groaned, trying to roll away from his irritating student. "Whatcha talking 'bout?" Sleep crusted eyes, opened blurrily, focusing on the shock blond head far too close to his face for comfort.

"Where is my money!" the boy demanded again. "And _where is Gama-chan!"_

The memories were starting to come back to Jiraiya, slowly. He reached into the pocket of last night's clothes that he was still wearing, telling Naruto, "Relax, Gama-_chan_ is right…" he paused, feeling nothing in his pocket. "I could swear…"

He started patting his clothes frantically, not feeling the frog wallet anywhere. The bedding was torn apart as Naruto's glare grew, pinning his guilty _sensei _like a fly to a wall.

"You lost Gama-_chan_!" the boy shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Jiraiya. "You owe me him and a new wallet! You promised!"

"Say what?" Jiraiya squawked, indignation flooding his face.

"You lost him when you said he'd be safe, you owe me a new one!" Naruto shouted again, this time pulling at Jiraiya's backpack. "Or I destroy this!"

"Okay okay okay!" the white haired man placated hastily. "Just put the backpack down slowly…"

"Not until you bring me Gama-_chan _and my money!" Naruto announced mulishly, plopping down on the floor and tugging the backpack into his lap. "Now."

Jiraiya was helpless but to do exactly as Naruto ordered, although it took him an hour to track down yet another frog wallet, let alone the pain it caused his bank account.

* * *

Back in the hotel room Naruto grinned to himself, pulling Gama-_chan_ out of his own pocket. The frog was even back to his normal fat self.

"That nice lady brought you and _Ero-sennin _back," he told the frog happily. "She even refilled you for me 'cause she said he used all my money."

The grin morphed into a smirk. "I wonder how long it'll take him to notice?"


	79. Cleaning Day

In response to a dare from Ella Unlimited -  
AU- Tsunade and Jiriya are married. Naruto, their son, is a small toddler thatloves to destroy everything. It's Saturday- cleaning day. The daily chores must be done, and armed with rubber gloves and cleaning supplies how does the day play out?

Yeah...it morphed. Ehehehehehe...

It isn't extremely cute, funny, sad...its a...normal drabble?

Enjoy!

* * *

Cleaning Day

"Boys!" Tsunade's voice rang out officially as she yelled up the staircase. "Get down here, now! It's cleaning day!"

No movement was forthcoming, and she could feel her temper starting to rise. "Last one down has to pull all the weeds!"

With Naruto being only four, that would end up being Jiraiya for sure, but if he beat Naruto down maybe she'd go easy on him.

Her sunlight kissed blond boy appeared at the top of the stairs, giggling at her and holding a bucket almost as large as himself. "Momma!"

She watched apprehensively as he started to trudge down the steps, walking backwards. It was cute how he did it though. First he would place the large grey plastic bucket on the step next to him, then step down one backwards, grab the bucket, and repeat the process.

He descended slowly until he was standing next to her proudly, gazing up the steps at his monumental feat. "I did it!"

"Yes you did, baby boy," she told him ruffling his hair affectionately. Then her gaze sharpened at the staircase once more. "Jiraiya if you don't get your butt down here right now you're doing all of the cleaning, and that _includes _housework!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," he grumbled, appearing at the top of the stairs. "Can't wait a minute…"

He was carrying another bucket full of gardening supplies, while Naruto's proved to be full of cleaning sprays and equipment.

"We have to do the windows, the garden, the lawn, the furniture, and all the rooms," Tsunade listed off officially. "So who wants outside and who wants inside? Outside has to have Naruto with them," and she glared at her son, who pouted. The last time they had done inside cleaning it had taken her a week just to fix the kitchen.

Jiraiya immediately volunteered, raising his hand and waving it. "I'll take outside with my boy!" he crowed, clapping Naruto on the back. "Anything to get away from the varnish…" The last bit was said under his breath, but Tsunade still heard it.

"It's not that bad! You just aren't supposed to stick your head over the bottle and inhale it," she chided him. "You weren't calm for the next week!"

"Anyway," he interrupted, intent on forgetting the memory. "I'll be taking Naruto and leaving now." He picked up his plastic bucket with ease, disregarding Naruto's protests that _he could carry the bucket, he was a big boy!_

She watched them go, then grabbed her own cleaning supplies, eyeing the cloth with distaste. She didn't like inside cleaning either, but it was much better than being roped outside with Naruto. She loved her boy, but he was far too hyper to handle at some points.

As if to prove her point, they had only been working for half an hour when she heard Jiraiya's yell. She ignored the first one as a common occurrence, but when it occurred a second time, and louder with her name in it, she felt the need to investigate.

When she got outside, somehow Jiraiya was hanging half off the roof, and the ladder he had used to get up there was nowhere in sight. For that matter, neither was Naruto.

"Jiraiya, where's our son!" she shouted up at the struggling man, watching his feet flail as he tried to climb up.

"How should I know!" he yelled back, finally getting a foothold and boosting himself up. "I've been hanging off a roof for the last five minutes! And it's his fault!"

She didn't waste any more time with him, choosing to leave her husband stranded on the roof and ignoring his yells of, "Hey, what gives? Let me down!"

"Naruto?" she called, setting off down the block. She came across the ladder first, laid across the road as though it were a bridge. A bit further along she saw the green netting that was supposed to go around their blueberry bush to keep the squirrels out laid down as though it were water, and a few 'islands' created of grass seed laid on top.

Naruto sat in the middle of the mess, playing happily with the remainder of the gardening tools.

He looked up at his mom as she approached, grinning happily. "Momma!" His arms reached out, inviting her to join him in his play.

She sighed, plucking the boy from the ground and scooping up some of his 'toys' and depositing them in the bucket. "Naruto, what are you doing?"

"Playing," he answered innocently, reaching out with a grubby hand to pull at some of her blonde hair.

She wouldn't get a better answer than that. "Let's go get daddy down off that roof," she suggested, heading back to their house. "And get daddy to clean up the rest of that mess," she muttered to herself.

When they got back to the house, Jiraiya wasn't on the roof any longer. Nor was he calling complaints from anywhere she could see.

"Jiraiya?" Tsunade queried, setting their son down on the grass where he immediately began running around. "Where'd you run off to?"

No response. She wasn't _worried,_ just…curious. At least, that's what she told herself. It's not like he could fit down the chimney, right?

"Jirai –" Her call was caught off with a yelp as someone picked her up from behind, carted her a few feet, and dumped her on the ground, where she was immediately soaked.

The man had hung a hose from a tree and turned it on full blast, then stuck her right under it. "Revenge is sweet!" he crowed, watching his angry wife.

"Yes it is," she growled, grabbing the hose out of the tree and turning it on him. In a second he was just as soaked as she.

"Foul play, foul play!" he called as he ran away, her chasing him, brandishing the ice cold water.

"All is fair in love and war!" she yelled after him. He was just out of the hose's reach. Then she saw her son, giggling as he watched his two parents.

"You think that's funny do you?" she teased him, edging closer. "How about now?" The hose was turned on the four year old, who immediately squealed and ran towards his mother instead of away, dodging the hose until he could cling to her leg.

"Get daddy, get daddy!"


	80. Half a Moon

In remembrance of the best man I've ever known, my teacher, Karl Savage. http:/ aoarashi. deviantart. com/ art/ Savage-s-Board-203998306

The Haiku below is his, created on April 3rd, 2010. He died April 7th, 2010. RIP Mr. Savage.

* * *

"We've used half a moon,

Uselessly,

Happily."

* * *

Half a Moon

The full moon wasn't her favorite night of the month, as it was of so many others. Too much light lit the world then, leaving no shadows, no place to hide. For a shinobi that was the worst situation.

Neither did she like it when the moon was dark. Then there was no light, no hope. No way to see anyone else in the world, and it was far too lonely.

No, instead, she liked the half-moon. Half in light, half in shadow. Some hope, but also some despair. It characterized her life; it showed the futility and the happiness.

The moonlight gleamed off her blonde hair, making it seem paler than normal as she walked the deserted streets of Konoha. The half-moon was shining tonight, veiled in shadow as it glowed with light.

The stream that cut through Konoha brushed past the training grounds with all their closely gathered trees. She wandered there, sitting down on one of the high, thick, branches and resting her back against the trunk.

She had a perfect view of the stream. While the forest was in shadow, the water reflected the light perfectly, including the moon. It rippled gently as the water moved slowly, never looking the same twice. Ever-changing, as everything else in the world was.

Water was the element of healing. No two wounds were ever the same, and so water had to accommodate, each time soothing and healing a different way. What worked for one person may not work for another.

For Tsunade, the mooring rope, the one who held people from the roaring, raging, water, water was both her savior and her enemy. Just watching the stream calmed her spirit, while it had no qualms about ripping away someone she loved. She was its disciple, a healer, even as she kept people from its grasp.

But the moon, the moon gave her no false pretenses, no promises and exchanges of life. The moon was pure, and held no lies.

Even as she knew she wasted time looking at the moon, time that could be much better spent doing something productive, she was happy to sit there.

Happy to watch that half-moon.


	81. The Path of Loneliness

I really liked how my last lyric drabble turned out, so I decided to try another one. The song is Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day. The 'she' is Tsunade, obviously.

I hope it worked well, if not, drop me a pm or a review telling me whats wrong with it.

* * *

The Path of Loneliness

_I walk a lonely road_

She could see the path she was going to travel in her mind. It let straight out of Konoha.

_The only one that I have ever known_

She couldn't stay in Konoha any more, it hurt her too much.

_Don't know where it goes_

She didn't know where she would travel to, she had no destination in mind.

_But it's home to me and I walk alone_

Anywhere out of Konoha was all she wanted, she would have no home but the road.

_I walk this empty street_

She could hear her footsteps on the hard dirt path.

_On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams_

Her dreams had been shattered once more, she couldn't go back. This was her path.

_Where the city sleeps_

Konoha was only a speck in the distance, no one knew she had left.

_And I'm the only one and I walk alone_

She had left them a note, but they wouldn't find her. She had to be alone.

_I walk alone__  
I walk alone  
I walk alone  
I walk a..._

The thought echoed in her head, repeating.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me_

Shizune was behind her, a silent reminder of her past. One that never talked.

_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating_

She wasn't sure she even had a heart anymore, except for the pulse she could feel through her body.

_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_

Even as she wanted Jiraiya or her _sensei_ to track her down, she made it as hard as possible.

_'Til then I walk alone_

But until they did, she would be on her own, with no one to remind her.

_I'm walking down the line_

She was at the border of Fire Country.

_That divides me somewhere in my mind_

Once she stepped foot outside of it, she would leave behind Konoha, and all memories of it. The ones that hurt.

_On the border line_

Once she left, would she be able to come back?

_Of the edge and where I walk alone_

She trusted Shizune to keep her from harming herself, but the girl couldn't do anything for her emotional pain. The one where she felt like she was spiraling over the edge of a cliff in free fall.

_Read between the lines_

She had been gambling her money away, always trying to find that one winning bet, getting lost in sake.

_What's fucked up when everything's alright_

When she was drunk, the world was a better place, but she had to be wasted to feel that way.

_Check my vital signs_

Some days she felt for her pulse, not sure if she was alive or dead.

_To know I'm still alive and I walk alone_

Only the thrill of gambling, the warmth of the sake let her know she was still breathing, still living. And Shizune always picked up the pieces of her afterwards.

_I walk alone  
I walk alone  
I walk alone  
I walk a..._

She was still alone. They hadn't come for her yet.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me_

Shizune was just as silent as before, always deferring to whatever she wanted to do.

_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating_

She had forgotten most of the pain, only remembering it in her nightmares, when the sake wore off.

_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_

She was running from the people she owed debts to, always changing her name to become unfindable. She wondered if Jiraiya with his massive spy network knew where she was.

_'Til then I walk alone_

He had never approached her. She wouldn't be surprised if he never wanted to see her again.

_I walk alone__  
I walk a..._

The paths between the cities and villages were lonely. She walked in silence, alone but for her thoughts and her shadow.

_I walk this empty street_

When she left the gambling pub, the streets were quiet and deserted.

_On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams_

She had continued her self-destructive habits for ten years.

_Where the city sleeps_

She didn't even know how many places she had gone to now, still running from the memories. Everywhere but Konoha.

_And I'm the only one and I walk a..._

Shizune hadn't deserted her yet, but she knew it would be only a matter of time. Devotion couldn't last forever.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me_

The black-haired girl still remained with her, running from the debt collectors, never settling down.

_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating_

She didn't know if her heart was healing, but it was no longer frozen in ice.

_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_

If Jiraiya or her sensei was going to rescue her, they had to do it soon.

_'Til then I walk alone..._

Or she would be lost forever.


	82. Bringing Her Back

Addster told me to do this after reading my last drabble - this one is to the song I'd Come for You by Nickelback. Just as the last one was about Tsunade leaving Konoha from her 3rd person POV, this one is bringing Tsunade back from Jiraiya's 3rd person POV.

Unlike the last one I had to do this one in chunks of text because there were so many lines. It still works I think though

Enjoy *Crosses fingers*

* * *

Bringing Her Back

_Just one more moment, that's all that's needed.__  
Like wounded soldiers in need of healing._

He hadn't seen her in decades. He wondered how she had changed, if those wounds to her heart had closed up.

_Time to be honest, this time I'm bleeding__  
Please don't dwell on it, cause I didn't mean it_

He remembered her last, angry, words to him, written in that letter. She hadn't even said them to his face – "Keep away. I don't need you, you'll only hurt me more."

_I can't believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground__  
But it doesn't matter cause I've made it up forgive me now_

He knew he had hurt her, with his proclamation of love after Dan had died. He hadn't meant to let it slip out, and he kept wondering if that was what had pushed her over the edge.

_Every day I spend away my souls inside out__  
Gotta be some way that I can make it up to you now, somehow._

He wanted her to forgive him. He _needed her to forgive him; without her he was nothing, just a shadow. He promised him he would do anything Tsunade asked, as long as it brought her back to Konoha._

_By now you'd know that I'd come for you__  
No one but you, yes I'd come for you  
But only if you told me to_

He could have run after her, he should have run after her. But he knew she was hurting too bad, she would just push him away. And even if she regretted it later, she couldn't take it back. So he bided his time, waiting until she either called him or was needed. It turned out to be the latter.

_And I'd fight for you__  
I'd lie, it's true  
Give my life for you  
You know I'd always come for you_

He knew it would be a fight to get her to come back. Tsunade had always been stubborn, especially when she knew she was being manipulated into something. And he knew this was the best thing for her, so he would fight her to come. Even if he had to lie.

_I was blindfolded, but now I'm seeing__  
My mind was closing, now I'm believing_

Before he had never been able to read her feelings. He had been deluded by his own hormone crazed mind, unable to see past his feeling for her.

_I finally know just what it means to let someone in__  
To see the side of me that no one does or ever will_

To love someone was a two way track – you couldn't just take for yourself and give for them, now he knew you had to take for them and give for yourself. He had hidden parts of himself from her she had never seen, and now he realized she had done the same.

_So if your ever lost and find yourself all alone__  
I'd search forever just to bring you home,  
Here and now this I vow_

She had been gone for decades, away from Konoha her home. It was time for them to bring her back. Even if it took him months he would find his lost teammate. He swore it.

_By now you'd know that I'd come for you__  
No one but you, yes I'd come for you  
But only if you told me to_

He suspected she had gotten wind of their search for her, because she kept moving. It was either that or the debt collectors were on her tail once more. She was never in a city for more than a day, and they always seemed to be a week behind her.

_And I'd fight for you__  
I'd lie, it's true  
Give my life for you  
You know I'd always come for you  
You know I'd always come for you_

He dogged her as though he had one of Kakashi's tracking summonses with him, Naruto tagging along for the training and complaining about how long the search was taking.

_No matter what gets in my way_  
_As long as there's still life in me_  
_No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you_

He had also heard of Orochimaru sniffing around the region. He wanted to kill the _Ero-hebi _for what he had done to their _sensei_. And if he got in the way of their tracking down Tsunade, he would die even more painfully.

_Yes I'd come for you, no one but you,_  
_Yes I'd come for you_  
_But only if you told me to_

She didn't want his help, Tsunade told him. She was fine on her own, without him, without Konoha.

_And I'd fight for you_  
_I'd lie, it's true_  
_Give my life for you_  
_You know I'd always come for you_

He saw the way her eyes softened as she saw Naruto, then hardened even further. She was still trying to push away the memories, to protect herself. He wouldn't tell her of the boy's parents yet, although he thought she had probably guessed. He would still try to protect her.

_No matter what gets in my way__  
As long as there's still life in me  
No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you_

Orochimaru tried to attack her, to kill her. He fought through the drug she had given him to keep him incapacitated – he wouldn't let her die. Not on his watch. By the time he got to the battlefield he was feeling a bit better but still lacking coordination. He wouldn't let that stop him.

_I'd crawl across this world for you__  
Do anything you want me to  
No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you  
You know I'll always come for you_

He took a beating from Orochimaru for her, but it was worth it. She was coming home. ___  
_


	83. Can't Not Call

Okay these song-drabbles are far too much fun to do. This one stars both of them - pretty much AU what with the phone and all. Song is Need You Now by Lady Antebellum.

Enjoy

* * *

Can't Not Call

_Picture perfect memories__  
Scattered all around the floor_

There were so many photos of them, from the time they were children to teenagers to adults. The photo albums and loose pictures were in disarray around him, a circle of memories.

_Reaching for the phone 'cause__  
I can't fight it anymore_

He needed to call her, but she would just reject him again. But he needed to. His hand crept towards the phone, and he was unable to stop it.

_And I wonder if I_  
_Ever cross your mind_

He wondered if she had even given him a second thought since their last fight. If she ever thought about how much she had hurt him.

_For me it happens all the time_

He couldn't forget it. Couldn't forget her blonde hair as it fanned out when she turned sharply on her heel, the way her eyes flashed in anger.

_It's a quarter after one__  
I'm all alone  
And I need you now_

He could see the bright red digits on the clock, flashing 1:15. He shouldn't be awake, but he couldn't sleep with the emptiness of the house. He needed her presence.

_Said I wouldn't call__  
But I've lost all control  
And I need you now_

It was a lost battle. His might was resigned to the action as his hand began dialing, hoping she would pick up; hoping she wouldn't. Caller ID would give it all away.

_And I don't know how__  
I can do without  
I just need you now_

If she wanted him she would answer. If she didn't it would just be another blow. But he needed her.

_Another shot of whiskey__  
Can't stop looking at the door_

She swirled the bottle of _sake _in her hands, hearing it slosh against the sides. It had become her routine to get drunk at night, sitting on the couch where she could see the door.

_Wishing you'd come sweeping__  
In the way you did before_

She was waiting for the knock to come, the same one as all the times before when he had barged into her apartment, not letting her rejection get him down.

_And I wonder if I_  
_Ever cross your mind_

She wondered if she had hurt him once too many times. She didn't want to, but she couldn't stop it. Was he thinking of her right now, of those times he had come back?

_For me it happens all the time_

The memories wouldn't stop coming, of his long white hair streaming behind him as the door flew open, her running into his open arms…she wished he would come back just one more time.

_It's a quarter after one__  
I'm a little drunk  
And I need you now_

She needed to hear his voice, to feel his arms around her. The _sake _was messing with her brain, making her think he was just around the corner.

_Said I wouldn't call__  
But I've lost all control  
And I need you now_

She couldn't resist the motion as she went to the kitchen, picking up the handset resting there. Almost automatically her fingers dialed his number, listening to the busy beeping of the line.

_And I don't know how__  
I can do without  
I just need you now_

She listened as the busy signal beeped in her ear, sighing as she placed the receiver down again. It was too much to hope that he was calling her too.

_Whoa, whoa__  
Guess I'd rather hurt  
Than feel nothing at all_

He listened to the steady beeping of his phone. She was busy. His eyes closed as he gently hung up the phone, wishing it was her calling him, but knowing that was too much to ask. Why did he keep calling when all it would do was hurt him? Because he didn't want to be numb. She breathed the life back into him.

_It's a quarter after one__  
I'm all alone  
And I need you now_

Her clock read 1:15, and the _sake _bottle was in one hand, the phone in the other. It was a familiar pattern.

_And I said I wouldn't call__  
But I'm a little drunk  
And I need you now_

He had called her every night at 1:15, and always received the busy signal. It was almost as though it was a well-choreographed dance.

_And I don't know how_  
_I can do without_

They both stared at the phones in front of them, seeing the missed call notice from the other. Such as it was every night. Now the question was who would be the one to call again?

_I just need you now__  
I just need you now_

They had both learned long ago they couldn't go without seeing each other, no matter how much it hurt. _My turn. _Tsunade dialed Jiraiya's number once more, a shiver running down her spine as she heard him pick up.

_Oh baby, I need you now_

"I need you."


	84. Pregnancy's Toils

Response to a dare from DarkShadowRaven - "When I read about 4 year old Naruto, I was thinking what would Tsunade be like when she was pregnant, with mood swings, cravings, morning sickness etc. and Jiraiya by her side to see to her every need. "

Never having experienced obviously, I'm going on whatever I learned from...well reading lol And observation

Enjoy *crosses fingers*

* * *

Pregnancy's Toils

"Jiraiya?" her plaintive cry echoed through the house, searching out the white haired man.

"Hmmm?" he groaned from the bed in the next room, his head turning towards the source of the noise.

"Jiraiya!" the cry was cut off this time, and his brows immediately furrowed in concern.

"Tsunade?" He was out of the bed as quick as possible with a sleep fogged mind, stumbling over the covers that trailed on the floor and making his way towards the bathroom. "What's wrong?"

"Your child is what's wrong," she glared at him from her position hanging onto the toilet bowl. "This is the tenth time in five days."

"Hey, hey, I have no control over morning sickness," he defended, even as his hand moved to smooth back her blonde hair from her forehead and neck. With his free hand he wet a towel, laying it across her neck to cool her down.

"This kid is half yours, and if he was obeying my wishes I wouldn't have any morning sickness at all, so it's all your fault," Tsunade rambled, leaning back as her stomach seemed to calm down.

"Whatever you say," he placated his wife. After all, he wasn't the one running to the bathroom twice a day. That had to count in her favor.

* * *

"Jiraiya." She shook his shoulder almost violently, forcing a groan from deep in his throat. "Wake up."

"Whazzit," he mumbled, eyes struggling to focus on his wife.

"Jiraiya I'm hungry," Tsunade whined, making puppy dog eyes at her husband. "Can you get me some food?"

Her baby bump was noticeable enough that it was more of a struggle for her to get out of bed and down the stairs to fix food.

"Yeah, what do you want?" he asked, forcing himself to sound more alert. This was for his wife after all.

"Chocolate ice cream with syrup, caramel, cucumbers, mango, and sprinkles," she rattled off immediately, grinning at him like a little kid.

He almost gagged at the two ingredients she had thrown in that list, but suppressed the reflex. She had chucked a clock at him the last time he had made any sort of non-encouraging motion towards her food.

"Coming right up." As soon as he got the nose plugs.

* * *

"Honey?"

Jiraiya sighed as he heard the call from the family room. Tsunade had been taking a nap there, but now it was obvious she had woken up. And a newly woken up heavily pregnant Tsunade was the most dangerous Tsunade of all.

"Yes, dear?" he asked cautiously, making his way into the room.

Her eyes were still closed as she lay there, although her blanket was on the floor. They opened as he approached; revealing the light golden brown color that always seemed to deepen right before the storm.

"Can you help me get up?" A simple enough request, but one that he had learned to dread. The mere fact she needed help getting up irked Tsunade to no end, and she tended to take it out on the cause – him.

"Of course," he answered swiftly, moving to the front of the couch.

He waited while she swung her legs over so she was sitting up, stomach protruding, then courteously extended his hand for her to grasp.

"You can do better than that." Her eyes were darkening, he noticed, danger, danger. "Be a real man and lift me up."

Obediently he moved to grasp her beneath the arms, intending to lift her straight up, but she stopped him with a slap.

"If you do that, you'll dislocate something," Tsunade growled. "Either mine or yours. Do it properly or don't help at all."

She pushed off the couch with both hands, trying to gain enough momentum to stand, but was unable to. With a nearly audible thump she fell back on the cushions, glaring indiscriminately around. "I used to be able to do this!"

"That was before you had an extra passenger," Jiraiya responded carefully, making sure not to use any words that could be related to the words weight or fat. Those were trigger points faster than a machine gun.

"And whose fault is that," she replied acerbically, although with not as much heat as before. "Just help me up."

This time he extended two hands and she grasped them firmly; he braced his body as the blonde woman hauled her extra weight up with her until she was finally standing.

"Thanks dear!" she chirped in a one eighty mood turn around, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. She almost skipped out of there, as well as her stomach would allow, as Jiraiya stared after her with one eyebrow raised.

You would think he would be used to that by now.


	85. Lost Memories

This song is My Immortal by Evanescence. I love it, and I think it fit Tsunade really well...

So I plan on doing one tomorrow as well as a warning...if they are getting tiresome just tell me and I'll stop! ^^;

* * *

Lost Memories

_I'm so tired of being here__  
Suppressed by all my childish fears_

She roamed into his room, trailing a finger along the dust across the top of his dresser. It had been untouched since that day; she couldn't bring herself to clean it.

_And if you have to leave__  
I wish that you would just leave_

The door was there day after day, the image of his face burned into her memory, his laugh echoing down the hall.

_'Cause your presence still lingers here__  
And it won't leave me alone_

She could feel his ghost still residing in his room, almost as though Nawaki himself was there. She wanted to be able to reach out and pick him up off his bed one more time, to swing him around. With a thump she sat down on it, staring around the room blankly.

_These wounds won't seem to heal__  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

He had been gone for three years now, and the pain was still as raw as the day she had found out. She hadn't even been able to tell him goodbye. Almost inadvertently her mind flashed to his childhood.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

He had always thrown tantrums – over food, over discomfort, over desire – but she could always sooth him, better than anyone. By the time she was done with him he was always smiling, the tears coursing down his cheeks gone to her handkerchief and no new ones in attendance.

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

Her bed was his hiding place from nightmares. He would run into her room screaming, burrowing under the covers next to her and trembling. She was his monster fighter. She 'hunted' down the terrors, scaring them out of the room and out of his mind, until he forgot all about the dream. But he always got to spend the night next to her.

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

They would walk along the street hand in hand, that occasionally being the only way to keep Nawaki from running off after any shiny thing that caught his eye. His hand was so much smaller than hers, but he loved the difference.

_But you still have__  
All of me_

Most of her heart had gone with her little brother, and a piece of it remained in his room as well. She didn't know how much if any she had for himself.

_You used to captivate me__  
By your resonating light_

Dan had become her light in the darkness, bringing hope back into her world after her brother's death had made her almost numb. She had shared the part of her heart she had left with him, and her days had finally brightened.

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

Then he had died too, right under her hands as she tried to save his life. Some days she felt as though he was standing right beside her, as though a piece of his life had been absorbed into her.

_Your face it haunts__  
My once pleasant dreams_

She couldn't close her eyes without seeing his face, smiling at her, frowning, sorrowful, covered in blood. It was with her every time she tried to sleep, joining Nawaki's.

_Your voice it chased away__  
All the sanity in me_

Every time she thought she heard his voice she turned around so fast her ponytails whipped out behind her, but it was never him. She knew it was Konoha, there were too many memories, too many places she expected them both to be.

_These wounds won't seem to heal__  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

She left Konoha, unable to stay there anymore. She didn't ask for the blessings of those she left behind – she wouldn't have even stayed behind if they bribed her. There were too many memories wound up all around the village, too many reminders of what she had lost.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

Now it was her own tears she was suppressing, drowning them in alcohol. But at night she couldn't keep them from dripping onto her pillow, the sorrow pinching the area where her heart used to be.

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

She woke up screaming of blood, of death, nightmares that haunted her. Shizune tried to comfort her, but it never worked. These weren't fabrications of the mind, they were memories, indelibly printed on her mind, on her non-existent heart.

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

She roamed from place to place, never staying long enough to make connections with anybody, remaining the wanderer. She had learned her lesson – making connections only hurt in the end when they were ripped away.

_But you still have__  
All of me_

They were the only two owners of her heart, her two boys. She didn't think she had anything else left to give or keep. Nawaki and Dan were the only ones who mattered.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone__  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along_

She tried to bury herself in the happy memories, suppress the sad ones, lock every memory away. She could feel their presences with her every day, as though they were experiencing things with her. But she was just as alone, just as lonely as always, an empty hole nothing could fill.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

After Jiraiya got her back to Konoha he would come to her office, and just sit there as she drank her _sake, _watching as her tears fell.

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

He knew all of her nightmares, and she found the more she shared, the less they came, but even then she still felt the lingering pain of them.

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

He was her last connection, the last one who knew her old life, the only one who remained at Konoha that knew the memories.

_But you still have__  
All of me_

And when she went to the memorial stone, just looking at their names, he would join her. Most of her heart was on that stone, and it was the one place she hoped the last small piece that remained wouldn't end up. Because then the stone would have it all.


	86. Staying

This one might not make as much sense...I didn't realize the chorus repeated quite so much ^^; So it got kind of hard to be inventive towards the end and not just restate things...

Starts off Naruto and Jiraiya bringing her back, and goes all the way to just before the Hokage Summit. Hope you can recognize where the time breaks are...

And my apologies for the fact the past few have been depressing

* * *

Staying

_Feeling broken  
Barely holding on_

Contrary to her name, she wasn't a mooring rope. Instead, the _sake _kept her sane, kept her mind intact, despite the strain on it.

___But there's just something so strong  
Somewhere inside me_

She had tried giving up, and realized it was just as bad as caring at all. So if she had to make a choice, she would decide to care. After all, how could she not when a small blond boy sitting across from her spoke with such conviction?

_And I am down but I'll get up again  
Don't count me out just yet_

His spirit convinced her, made her decide it was time to put her demons in the past. He singlehandedly did what she had been trying to do for twenty years – leave the darkness.

_I've been brought down to my knees  
And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking_

She had lost the people most important to her, one after another. The memories of them had lingered in Konoha, until she was forced to leave to preserve her mind. She didn't know how she had managed to stay sane through all of it, but she was proof a person could live through any emotional trauma.

_But I can take it  
I'll be back  
Back on my feet_

Now she was going to be Konoha's _Hokage. _How was that for a comeback?

___This is far from over  
You haven't seen the last of me  
You haven't seen the last of me_

She would make her mark on the village of her birth, make them remember her as something other than the drunk gambling _sannin. _She would make a name for herself living Dan and Nawaki's dream, so they could share their dream through her.

_They can say that  
I won't stay around_

The council didn't think she heard their whispers, "Will she leave us when things get bad again? Will she abandon us?"

_But I'm gonna stand my ground  
You're not gonna stop me_

But she heard every word, and with every comment her resolve to stay, to lead, strengthened. She would prove them all wrong.

_You don't know me  
You don't know who I am  
Don't count me out so fast_

They might know _of _the pain she had been through, but she was positive none of them had ever faced such devastation. And until they did, they had no right to talk. No right to say she couldn't do it.

_I've been brought down to my knees  
And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking_

She wouldn't let Naruto or Jiraiya be the next slam to her heart. It had already been stressed to the point, no past the point, of shattering, held together only with luck and help from Shizune. She would do everything in her power to protect them.

_But I can take it  
I'll be back  
Back on my feet_

She would be damned if the past brought down her present. It was another lesson she learned from Naruto – if he was able to put all those memories of pain and loneliness behind him, she could too.

_This is far from over  
You haven't seen the last of me_

The _Hokage _had to make some hard decisions. That included letting a piece of her heart go, go on and put itself at risk. She wouldn't let it take her away, She would do her duty, her promise. She would never back down again, no matter what happened.

_There will be no fade out  
This is not the end_

Jiraiya was gone, but she refused to let him disappear, or to linger too close as Dan and Nawaki had. She remembered him, mourned for him, but she still functioned.

_I'm down now  
But I'll be standing tall again_

Her heart had been taken apart so many times now she was almost used to it, she knew she would be able to do her job through the pain, and that gave her pride. She knew it would have been what he wanted_._

_Times are hard but  
I was built tough  
I'm gonna show you all what I'm made of_

She was strong for Naruto, for everyone Jiraiya had known and who knew him well. Strong for herself, remembering him, and strong for his spirit.

_I've been brought down to my knees  
And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking_

So many losses over the years, so many times she was torn apart. But this time Konoha was her heart, and she invested everything in it. She wouldn't let it fall to any threats that came to its borders.

_But I can take it  
I'll be back  
Back on my feet_

Overwhelming odds wouldn't take her, take them, down. She refused to let it. Every time she sent a team out, a piece of her heart went with them, and every time they came back safe, a sense of relief came with them.

_This is far from over  
I am far from over  
You haven't seen the last of me_

They could say she was past her prime all they wanted, she knew the truth. She was strong enough to protect everything she loved, and she wouldn't leave any of it behind.

_I'm not going nowhere  
I'm staying right here_

She refused to abandon Konoha when it was going to fall. The villagers and children were the hope it could be rebuilt even if the houses and buildings themselves fell. She sent her life force out to each, striving to protect and heal each of the citizens. She wouldn't leave them.

_You won't see me begging  
I'm not taking my bow_

They could try to pretend she wasn't fit for duty all they wanted, she had almost sacrificed her life for Konoha; indeed she had put it on the line when she went into the coma. She wasn't going to bow down the post just because she had almost died. She wasn't that weak.

_Can't stop me  
It's not the end  
You haven't seen the last of me_

She wasn't going anywhere, and they could all deal with it. She was _Hokage _and she was going to stay.


	87. Home

Look at that, we have a _happy_ song drabble! This song is "This is Home" by Switchfoot from the Narnia soundtrack. Thanks to addster for making me remember Switchfoot existed ;) I'll get to your suggested song soon =D

And all those other drabbles - I find it hilarious they all circle around AU and an either unborn or toddler Naruto with Tsunade and Jiraiya as parents. Apparently those are quite the hit ;D

Enjoy!

* * *

Home

_I've got my memories__  
Always inside of me_

He would never forget those early days, when he ran for his life, fended for himself by rummaging in the trash cans and dodging stones and sticks.

_But I can't go back  
Back to how it was_

He pushed the memories out of his mind – they were in the past, he refused to revisit them. He refused to become the boy he used to be.

_I believe you now  
I've come too far_

Iruka had become his light, his big brother, the first one besides the old man to believe in him. He was stepping farther and farther from that life where he was ridiculed, hated by all.

_No I can't go back  
Back to how it was_

There was no way he would let those bonds break now that they had been formed; they were his lifeline, his reason for living.

_Created for a place  
I've never known  
_He always felt as though he didn't belong as that stray waif everyone hated, so he forced on a smile, waiting and longing for the day everything would change.

___This is home  
Now I'm finally  
Where I belong_

He had friends, people who believed in him, who talked to him without trying to hit him – well, most of the time. Sakura was the exception. And Sasuke was a monosyllabic teme, but they were still his friends.

_______Yeah, this is home  
I've been searching  
For a place of my own_

Team Seven became the family he never had, those people he could rely on to watch his back at any turn, to defend him against the villagers, against the people who tried to kill him.

_Now I've found it  
Maybe this is home  
Yeah, this is home_

It had taken him twelve years but he was on his way to finally having a home.

___Belief over misery  
I've seen the enemy_

He would keep a smile on his face despite the unchanged attitudes of the villagers towards him, the hard looks he received and the exorbitant prices they named for him whenever he went to buy necessities. It was what he had done all his life, he could do it a bit longer.

_And I won't go back  
Back to how it was_

But he wouldn't be a pushover like he was when he relied on daily stipends of money. Now he made his own. If they wouldn't sell to him, he would just get it another way. He had the money to be a bit choosier now.

_And I got my heart set on  
What happens next_

If he had come so far in just the few months they had been a team, who was to say what would happen in the next couple months?

_I got my eyes wide  
It's not over yet_

Their mission to Wave only brought the team closer. Training, competition between Naruto and Sasuke, fighting Zabuza…he couldn't wait for more.

_We are miracles  
And we're not alone_

They would never be alone. The three of them had each other now, he wouldn't let them go. They were his saviors from the loneliness, his friends.

___This is home  
Now I'm finally  
Where I belong_

They were each other's support throughout the _Chuunin_ Exam; they all knew each other's strengths and weaknesses, their abilities to survive. Wherever the team was, that was home to Naruto.

_______Yeah, this is home  
I've been searching  
For a place of my own_

He was an indispensable part of his team, and even as he took down Kiba, he knew he was getting recognized. He wasn't that 'fox brat' they kept talking about; he was Naruto, and he was going to make his own place in Konoha.

_Now I've found it  
Maybe this is home  
Yeah, this is home_

When he beat Neji, he could hear the stands erupt with applause for him, and he beamed to know he was recognized, that they had liked him for what he had done. He was proving himself to Konoha, winning them over. It was his home.

_____And now after all  
My searching_

They had to search for a new _Hokage_, and they were going for Tsunade. As they searched, following her trail, he worked to get Jiraiya to recognize him, to be a father figure. There were still some connections he needed, and he knew Jiraiya could provide one, if he could just get the man to accept it.

___After all my questions  
I'm gonna call it home_

The woman didn't want to come back to the place he called home, she said it hurt too much. He knew all about the hurt Konoha could inflict, he had questioned himself about why he stayed so many times. But he knew it was his place, the one he would protect. He had to convince her of that too.

_I got a brand new mindset  
I can finally see the sunset  
I'm gonna call it home_

Naruto had finally gotten through to Tsunade, she agreed to come back to Konoha. He had the power to change people's minds, to make the believe. He showed here there was still good in Konoha, still a reason to protect it. She would come back for him.

___This is home  
Now I'm finally  
Where I belong_

Tsunade was the _Hokage_, before he left and after. Jiraiya had told him they were going on a long training trip, and he knew it was for the best. When he came back to Konoha he would be even more able to protect it, to protect those who lived in it that were precious to him, protect them from defecting like Sasuke did.

___Yeah, this is home  
I've been searching  
For a place of my own_

When he came back they still remembered him. They had _missed _him. And despite how Tsunade acted, he knew she had missed him too. It made him feel warm inside, to know he_ mattered_ to people, that they needed him as he needed them.

_____Now I've found it  
Maybe this is home  
Yeah, this is home_

Even though the place had changed while he was gone, it was for the better. Shopkeepers recognized him, they didn't put him down and try to kill him. They actually waved to him and greeted the once ostracized boy. Yes this was his home.

_______Now I know  
Yeah, this is home_

It was how they acted now that mattered, not the past. He changed them, and himself. A home was the place you felt like you belonged.

___________I've come too far  
And I won't go back  
Yeah, this is home _

He had come so far from the small orphaned boy everyone hated. That boy was in the back of his mind, but he never showed up anymore. Naruto was liked by the people of Konoha, needed by them. And he would protect them with hislast dying breath. It was his home. _  
_


	88. Jiraiya's Books

Kaiser969 suggested this topic - how Kakashi got hooked on Jiraiya's books. I'm sorry I haven't been able to write any of the dares given to me recently, I just don't have any ideas on how to expand on them. And the song drabbles are being received with less and less enthusiasm, so a change was needed.

Enjoy

* * *

Jiraiya's Books

Kakashi sighed as he looked at the memorial stone. It was his daily routine to go there every morning and just look at the names, remembering the people they belonged to. He was only in his teens and he had already lost everybody he cared about.

He didn't have anything else to do during the days except missions; whenever he was in Konoha his mind was occupied with memories of his fallen comrades.

"Sad place isn't it?" came a voice floating out of the trees behind him. With lightning fast reflexes a _kunai _was in his hand and poised to throw.

"Woah, woah, calm down," Jiraiya told him, stepping out, hands raised. "Twitchy, aren't you?"

Kakashi relaxed as he recognized his _sensei's _mentor, and stowed the weapon as he eyed the man warily. Jiraiya had a certain reputation for being followed by a pack of angry women after all.

"It's been a while since I visited," the man continued, walking towards the stone and looking at the names. "It's about time I came by for a good look." Then his eyes were piercing sharp on Kakashi. "But you've been here every day."

Kakashi slid his eyes away from Jiraiya's, suddenly uncomfortable. "Yeah?"

"You, my boy, need something else to distract your mind!" Jiraiya exclaimed cheerfully, clapping Kakashi on the shoulder.

The silver haired teenager flinched at the unexpected contact. "Excuse me?"

"Moping around here isn't doing you any good, or them," Jiraiya explained, beginning to steer Kakashi away from the monument. "You need something to occupy your time."

Kakashi frowned; he couldn't extricate himself from Jiraiya's grasp without seeming rude, but what the man was implying wasn't in his plans. "I have no desire to run around seducing women."

The laugh Jiraiya let out was long and loud. "Kid, that's my signature, I'm not going to teach you how to do that," and he winked. "No, I'm going to give you something better to take your mind off the past." Out of nowhere, he produced a book bound with a bright orange cover.

If anything Kakashi eyed that even more warily. "What is that?"

"This, my young friend, is the key to all your problems." Kakashi twitched at the word 'problem', he didn't have a problem. "This is the key to paradise."

A silver eyebrow was quirked at the book, even if Jiraiya couldn't see it. "Paradise?"

"Start reading this and you'll be hooked, I guarantee it," Jiraiya told him, pushing the book into his hands. "Just tell me exactly what you think of it after you give it a week."

With that he disappeared, leaving a bemused Kakashi staring at the book in his hands with a cover of a man chasing a woman in a dress that was a little too revealing.

He took one more glance at the Memorial Stone behind him, then leapt away, heading towards his house. Jiraiya had peaked his interest.

The moment he was home he cracked the cover, taking a look at the first page. He was hooked with the first chapter. It wasn't until he had read the book cover to cover that he realized who had written it.

A week later he was at the memorial stone again, waiting for Jiraiya.

"You didn't come here for the whole day all week," the white haired man observed, dropping out of a tree to land lightly next to Kakashi.

"Yeah," the teenager replied lazily, leaning back against a tree. "Your book caught my interest." He held out the copy to Jiraiya, but the man pushed it back at him.

"Keep it. Did you know Minato refused to read those?" he commented idly, watching Kakashi sharply for a reaction. "He said they were too explicit for him, and Kushina would murder him for reading my books. I meant to give him that book, and these." He produced another five books, all of the same set. "Might as well give them to someone who would appreciate the story."

Kakashi reached out with hands that trembled almost invisibly, taking the books that had been meant for his _sensei. _"I'll appreciate them." He wouldn't put them down.

"Great!" Jiraiya grinned at the teenager. "Just don't walk into any poles while you're reading them."

He made to leave the clearing, before turning back just before he disappeared from view. "Even if he refused to read them, Minato gave me the ideas for half of them." Then he leapt away, leaving Kakashi staring at the books in complete amusement, wondering how on earth his very proper _sensei_ had the imagination to come up with any of what he had read. The books were quite…detailed, after all.


	89. Why Do I Even Bother?

Response to a dare addster gave me last night - Tsunade's making dinner for her boys and it turns out really good. But before she gets a chance to sit down and eat it, Naruto shoves most of it down his mouth and runs off to his room. Jiraiya shovels his down and kisses her before heading off to meet with someone. So she sits at the table, wondering why she even bothers.

I'm aware it kind of follows script, and is short, but sorry. Brain fried from schoolwork today

* * *

Why Do I Even Bother?

Tsunade turned off the stove, giving a sigh of relief her stint of cooking was done. This time nothing had caught on fire, spilled, broken, or any other form of kitchen hazard. Her cooking had gone _perfectly._

Now all that mattered was the taste test.

She grabbed a small plate, dishing a portion of her newly made meal onto it. Her hand trembled as she brought a morsel to her mouth, knowing this was the 'make-it-or-break-it'.

The moment the food touched her tongue, she grinned, eyes closing in happiness.

"Jiraiya! Naruto!" Tsunade called up the stairs, waiting impatiently for them to come charging down. She had set a table all ready for the three of them to eat, with her succulent meal in the center. "Come down and eat!"

Naruto was the first one down, almost tumbling down the stairs in his haste.

"Food?" he asked pleadingly, looking up at her with large blue eyes.

She grinned at him and ruffled the twelve-year-olds hair before pointing towards the adjacent room. "In there."

In a flash he was gone, and Jiraiya was on his way down the stairs.

"What food did you mangle this time?" he asked, coming to a stop next to her.

"I didn't mangle anything!" she defended, punching him in the arm. "Come see for yourself."

Just as they made their way into the next room, Naruto shot out past them.

"H-Hey! Naruto! Come back here!" Tsunade called after him, confused. She thought her food was _good!_

"Already ate!" he yelled back, speeding up the stairs.

The blonde woman looked in disbelief at the table, and lo and behold, a portion of the food and a plate was missing.

"Was it at least good?" she muttered to herself, accompanying Jiraiya into the room.

The white-haired man reached out with a utensil, acquiring a small morsel that he tasted tentatively. She watched apprehensively as his face lit up, and he quickly reached for a share for his plate.

"This is great Tsunade!" he exclaimed, shoveling food as fast as he could into his mouth.

She collapsed back into her chair in relief; after all the effort she had put into the meal, she was glad both boys accepted it.

Then Jiraiya was getting up from the table, taking his empty plate with him.

"Hey, where are _you _going?" she asked, straightening and frowning at the man.

"Sorry, _hime, _I have a meeting to go to," he told her coming over to give her a kiss on the cheek._ "__Ja ne."_

Tsunade looked first at the two empty chairs at her table, then at the food itself.

"Why do I even bother?"


	90. Smelling Colors

Sorry this is so late - I wrote one and a half essays today and have to finish the other half before 3pm tomorrow. .

Anyway I think this is the product of a fried brain in return to addster's dare - Shizune, noticing her mistress is looking rather sluggish, gets her an energy drink to boost her paper-working speed. Tsuande goes through like three when Naruto walks in, all sluggish and sleepy."Baa-chan...I'm really sleepy...can you help?" Or something along the lines of that. She says of course and lets Naruto finish the rest of her last energy drink. He goes completely nuts and they run through the village screaming their heads off about how they can smell colors.

Tweaked of course - enjoy

* * *

Smelling Colors

"Ugh," Tsunade groaned, cradling her head in her hands. "It's far too early to be awake, let alone working…"

She glared daggers at the stacks of papers in front of her, and the sunbeams only barely making their presence known on her wooden floor. "Far too early…"

The knock in the door disturbed her from the staring match – she _was_ winning! – with her paperwork, and she looked up with bleary eyes. "What?"

Shizune popped her head in, far to awake for Tsunade's taste. "Tsunade-_sama_, I have – "

She was cut off by Tsunade's groan and the words "No more paperwork, leave me to die in peace."

She was disconcerted slightly by the tired outburst, but then looked at her employer, bemused. "This isn't paperwork, Tsunade-_sama_, this is much better."

"Anything is better than paperwork."

"Be that as it may," and the raven suppressed a chuckle, "this should at least help you complete it." She placed a six pack of bottles on Tsunade's desk.

The blonde woman immediately examined them to see if they were _sake_, pouting when they weren't.

"These are energy drinks, they should get you awake enough to finish all your paperwork before the day is over then maybe you can go and have some fun," Shizune told the _Hokage_, grinning as the woman's eyes lit up at the word fun.

"_Mine_," Tsunade growled, immediately reaching for one and popping the top off. Ten seconds later the bottle was empty and slammed down on the desk. "When will this kick in?"

"Well, they're pretty strong," Shizune cautioned, backing out of the room slowly. "So it shouldn't be too long." Then the door closed behind her.

Ten minutes later and Tsunade still wasn't feeling the effect, so she downed two more of the suckers, waiting for them to kick in.

In the meantime she re-engaged in the staring contest with the paperwork – which she was still winning despite their lack of eyes! – and tapping her fingers on the desk. She didn't notice as the tapping slowly increased in speed.

A knock on her door broke her concentration and made her lose that staring match – which she vowed to restart due to disqualification – and she yelled, "Enter!"

Naruto walked in, rubbing at his eyes with one hand and scratching at his tangled hair with the other. "_Baa-chan_," he mumbled, not quite focusing on her, "I'm really sleepy."

"Did you get any sleep last night?" she asked him, finger speed increasing on her desk.

"No…" he swayed in place, although he didn't seem to notice. "Noises…Have to wake up…"

She beckoned him forward, pulling out one of the three remaining bottles of energy drink. "Try this, it should help."

He reached out, missing the first grab for the bottle before latching onto it and popping the top, chugging down the liquid inside.

Tsunade considered the blond boy in front of her, and the effect the three drinks had had on her, then gave him the other two. She didn't notice her fingers moving so fast they were almost blurring on the desk.

"Drink these two as well," she told him, watching to make sure he didn't fall over and spill the drinks across her floor.

By the time he had finished the last one, Naruto was beginning to bounce up and down, and Tsunade was almost vibrating.

"Thanks _baa-chan_, I feel great now!" he told her, his words almost slurring together they were so fast.

"No problem, Naruto!" she replied, then looked at him oddly. "You smell orange."

"I smell orange?" he questioned, sniffing his shirt. "You're right! I do!" Then he ran up to her, sniffing at her jacket. "You smell green!"

Then his eyes widened, following some trail only he could see. "That smells yellow!" He was out the door like a shot, Tsunade hard on his tail.

"What smells yellow?" she yelled, not even bothering to question why they were associating colors with their noses. "Oh! Red!" She was momentarily sidetracked, sniffing at a flower arrangement in the corridor, then ran after Naruto once more. "Get back here!"

She was able to track him by the orange, following his scent out of the _Hokage_ Tower and along the streets.

He was standing at the ramen shop, a pure expression of bliss on his face. "_Baa-chan_, it smells like rainbow," he sighed, not seeing Teuchi's bemused expression as he watched the boy.

"No way, it smells clear!" she retorted, almost vibrating in place.

"Rainbow!"

"Clear!"

"Rainbow!"

"The ramen smells like a color?" came Jiraiya's voice from behind the two, confused. "Are you both crazy?"

"Tell him it smells clear!" Tsunade pouted at Jiraiya, pointing at the bouncing Naruto.

"No way its rainbow!" the boy yelled, hanging off Jiraiya's arm. "Tell her!"

"I side with the _gaki_, I say rainbow," Jiraiya decided, wanting to see how Tsunade reacted. He should have guessed.

"Clear!" the _Hokage_ shouted, punching Jiraiya square in the face, lifting him off the ground.

"Okay, okay clear!" his voice echoed behind him as he flew down the street.

"See?" the blonde woman turned to Naruto, all smiles and innocence. "I was right!"


	91. A Complete Surprise

So this started as Tsunade kind of representing me today - completely bone-weary and just uncaring. Then it kinda maybe morphed...so yeah.

Enjoy

* * *

A Complete Surprise

Tsunade sighed, resting her head in her hand wearily. She was simply exhausted from the day, and from her duties. She doubted she even had the energy to stand up, let alone leave her office.

"Tsunade-_hime_!" The window to her right burst open with a loud yell, and Jiraiya forced his way into her office. "I was wondering –"

"Not now, Jiraiya." The words came out tired, without emotion. She didn't even look up at him. "Now is not a good time."

"But I just –"

This time her head raised, and her half-closed eyes gave him a half-hearted glare. Then it disappeared, as though such an expression had taken too much effort to maintain. "Not now."

Now his face was concerned as he moved closer to Tsunade's desk. "What's wrong?"

She sighed, thinking through the day, the mountains of red tape, paperwork, problems to solve, quarrels to fix… "What isn't wrong?"

She could tell that stumped him. "Well…"

"Just leave me alone for now Jiraiya. Come back another time."

"No." The word was firm, resolute. In a smooth movement he was next to her and had scooped her up in his arms.

"Jiraiya _what –"_

"Shh," he told her, not putting her down despite her struggles. "Listen to me. Whatever is wrong can be solved another day. _You're _the most important thing right now_, __hime."_

Tsunade stared up at his face, its solemn expression, then sighed. "That doesn't mean you have to _carry _me. Put me down."

"No." Again with that same tone.

"_Jiraiya –"_

"I won't put you down," he told her, and began to walk out of the office.

Tsunade's face started to turn red as she thought of all the comments she would get from those who saw Jiraiya carrying her. "Jiraiya, please, I have an image to uphold –"

"They won't think any less of you for admitting weakness," he replied placidly, if anything tightening his arms against her struggles. "Just relax."

"That's not the point! I know perfectly well how to walk on my own!"

"Really?" he grinned down at her. "I hadn't noticed in the past fifty years."

"Shut up you idiot," she growled at him, hitting at his chest halfheartedly. They were almost out of the _Hokage _Tower and her struggles redoubled. "Not outside, don't carry me outside…" Her eyes closed in defeat as he made for the door, and she resigned herself to be made fun of for the next decade.

They went through a door, but to her surprise she didn't feel the sun, or smell the air of the world outside. No, instead, her world went dark as the room they entered was pitch black. "What –"

"I brought her," she heard Jiraiya whisper, then her eyes snapped open as the world grew bright suddenly.

"Surprise!" was shouted from multiple voices, and Tsunade looked around in shock.

Naruto, Sakura, Shizune, Konohamaru and his gang, all the _jounin_ still in Konoha…they were all gathered around a large table with a cake on it.

"Happy birthday Tsunade," Jiraiya told her, his face almost splitting from his wide grin.

"It's my birthday?" Quickly she counted the days, doing a mental check and recheck. She had completely forgotten.

"_Baa-chan,_ you don't remember your own birthday?" Naruto laughed from his spot at the table. "You are getting old!" He didn't flinch under the glare sent his way. "___Ero-sennin, _put her down so we can eat already!"

"Manners, Naruto," Kakashi chided the boy, but he was eye-smiling. "But I second the notion."

As she was deposited in a chair, Tsunade looked around the table. "When did you plan this? I'd forgotten all about…"

"We knew you did, and that made it easier to plan," Sakura answered from her right. "What with you so distracted lately, _shishou_, you made it quite easy to plan a surprise party."

"Thank you, all of you," Tsunade told the table as a whole, completely touched. Then she scowled at everyone indiscriminately. "And if you ever tell anyone Jiraiya _carried_ me here –" the threat went unfinished, but it didn't need to be completed. They all shivered as a whole, then the party began.


	92. Sickness

Everything I put Tsunade through in the below text has been my life. In the past 48 hours I went from completely healthy to suffering...worse than she is if anything. Words cannot do it justice. Honestly this _sucks_.

Except I didn't get the massage. I really really really could use one...its insane how much my body and face hurt. . And I have _no_ idea why my face hurts, except that its in the vicinity of my sinuses.

Anyway sorry for the rant but this is about all I can concentrate on now. Kaiser969 had some good ideas I plan to do later when I'm not sniffing and falling over from exhaustion every ten seconds.

* * *

Sickness

Tsunade groaned, trying to get comfortable in her bed and failing horribly. She kicked off the covers, got twisted in the sheets, and searched out another cool spot on her pillow to rest her hot cheek on.

She was without a doubt sick.

The blonde woman sniffed, desperately trying to get an unlabored breath, either through her nose or her mouth, but it was not to be.

The knock at her door startled her, although she didn't have the energy to even flinch. After receiving no response for a few seconds, the knocker cracked the door open, revealing a shock of white hair.

"Hey, _hime_, how are you doing?"

A groan was his answer, and half-closed eyes attempted to glare at him. "How do you think?" Her voice came out raspy, the product of a dry throat that had been plaguing her for days. Nothing could quench it.

Jiraiya scratched at the back of his head nervously, bringing forward the hand he had kept behind his back. "I brought you a present…"

Her head turned slowly, trying to get a good look at whatever it was he was holding. It was a basket, small and filled with what seemed like tissues, pills, and…an aromatherapy rub?

"What is that for?" she pointed at the bottle before her hand flopped down weakly as a spasm of coughs overtook her.

"I figured since you said your body hurt so much, I could maybe give you a massage and it would help your nose too…" the man replied sheepishly. "But if you don't want me to –"

The happiness in her eyes cut him off, and he grinned, sitting on the bed beside her. "Roll over then."

She did so obediently, not able to mask the hiss of pain as her face pressed into the pillow. For some reason unknown to her, the area below her eyes was swollen and in pain as well. If the medic in her had to take a guess, she would think it was her sinuses. But that was too much misfortune to wish on anybody. All she knew was that her face _hurt._

Jiraiya slid her loose top up her body, baring her back to him. A couple squirts of the aromatherapy oil onto his hands, and he was ready to begin.

The moment his hands began working their magic, Tsunade sighed, one of pure pleasure and happiness. He knew just how to make the muscles loosen up and stop hurting.

"Do you like that, _hime_?" Jiraiya asked with a teasing grin, his smile widening as he received a moan of pleasure in response.

"Don't you dare stop," she mumbled, feeling her body relax as though it was melting. Even her nose was starting to become less annoying as the fumes of the oil made their way up her body.

Thirty minutes later the massage was finished, and Tsunade felt much better – considering that she was still sick.

"Thank you Jiraiya," she told the man, eyes showing him her gratitude even if her voice couldn't convey it.

"Anytime _hime_," he responded, gathering up the oil and leaving the rest of the basket next to her bed. "I'll be back later to give you another."

"I would hug you but I don't think you'd appreciate it," Tsunade joked weakly, but he understood the sentiment behind it.

"Get well soon, _hime_," were his parting words before he left through her door.


	93. Closure

Sorry this is so short...still quite sick. Topic was suggested by Kaiser969

Enjoy

* * *

Closure

Jiraiya cleared his throat, shuffling uncomfortably in front of the stone. "So I know it's been a while," he began, then groaned. "I'm no good at this."

He looked at the stone, at the names on it. Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina. Two of the people he had loved and lost.

He tried again. "I know it's been a while since I came here…actually I don't think I ever did." He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "But I'm here now. So…" Again he fidgeted. "I miss you."

He paused, trying to put his thoughts in order. "Both of you. I'm sorry I wasn't around more after you became _Hokag_e, Minato, we could have had so many good times. Buying all the ramen you can eat, pranking_sensei_, peeking on the hot springs – not that we would Kushina!" he added hastily, hands waving in front of his body in a placating gesture.

"And maybe if I had stayed, you would still be alive," he continued in a quieter tone. "Maybe Naruto would still have his parents here. You know, you're kid is a good boy. I figure you already know what he looks like, but now he could be the spitting image of Minato. Except he has your temper and spirit Kushina," he chuckled.

"I wish you could be here to meet him. But if wishes were fishes we would all be under a pile of them." His head shot around as the crack of a twig was heard, and his eyes widened as he saw Tsunade standing behind him. He had been so wrapped up he didn't even sense her presence. "Hey."

"Hey," she responded quietly, moving forward to stand next to him. "Took you long enough."

"Yeah," he agreed softly, reaching out to touch the stone. "I should have come sooner."

"You should have," she agreed equably, looking over at him. "But it's better to come in your own time rather than from duty."

He didn't ask how she knew that.

"It's good to finally be able to make your peace though," Tsunade continued, looking back at the stone. "It gives you…" she trailed off, not knowing how to describe the feeling.

"Closure," Jiraiya offered.

"Yeah, that," the blonde woman agreed. "I think it gives them a sense of relief too. To know people here still care about them."


	94. Kicks

I forgot to say this last chapter - but congrats to Ella Unlimited for being the 500th reviewer! With any other story it would probably work to have you suggest something you want put in...but seeing as this is based off of dares that doesn't really change anything ^^; So if there's anything ELSE you want - yeah just say so XD

This is in response to addster's dare - Tsunade's pregnant with Naruto, and in the middle of her eating her BBQ covered jalapenos (or whatever wacky preggo craving you can think of), she rushes over to Jiraiya to have him feel their son's first kick. And the little guy kicks hard, too!

Enjoy!

* * *

Kicks

Tsunade picked out another jalapeño, eyeing it for any drips of the barbeque sauce liberally slathered over it. Seeing no escaping vestiges, she popped it into her mouth, making sure to bite off the stem.

So good.

The blonde woman let out a little hmm of pleasure at the taste, it hit the spot. It didn't matter that her husband had cringed and beaten a quick retreat from the kitchen the moment he saw her pulling out the ingredients, nor that it would burn the tongue of any normal person. Who said a pregnant woman, let alone Tsunade, was normal or even sane?

Just as she was reaching for yet another out of her bowl, something _twitched._ Her hand froze, and Tsunade didn't dare move, trying to identify what the odd feeling was. It had felt like someone was blowing tiny bubbles against her stomach.

Almost unconsciously her golden eyes drifted down to her stomach, and when the feeling came again, she saw her stomach _jump._

"No way," Tsunade breathed, placing her hand over the spot. Again that same feeling, but a little stronger, as though whatever was causing it gained confidence. "Jiraiya!"

No answer. She tried again, not daring to move from the couch for fear of the movement stopping. "Jiraiya!" Again silence met her ears. "Jiraiya there's a line of models in the living room!"

One and seven-eighths seconds later, Jiraiya was standing in front of her, looking around expectantly. "Where are they? Where?"

"Be careful, you have some drool…everywhere," his wife commented dryly from behind him, smirking when he turned to face her, a dejected puppy-dog look on his face. "Aw, don't be so sad. I have something even better."

"What could be better than a bunch of models?" he moaned, dejected, but sat down on the couch where she was patting. "What is it?"

"Put your hand here," she told the white-haired man, taking his big hand in her own and flattening it against her stomach. Three…two…there it was.

Jiraiya jumped nearly an inch off the couch, his hand snaking back in shock. "What was _that?"_

She had felt the kick that time, was sure it had made her whole body move just a tiny bit upwards with its force. No miniature flutter was that one, but a full blown attempted front kick if she was any judge.

"That," she grinned, and paused for effect, "was your son."

"That was him?" Jiraiya stared first at his hand, then at her stomach, which jumped under his gaze in response to another kick. "You're sure?"

"Well, unless I have two babies in there, I'm pretty confident, yes," Tsunade told him with great forbearance, although she smiled at his face. It held a look of pure wonder.

"He's going to be really powerful," Jiraiya whispered proudly, placing his hand once more on her stomach. "What were you doing when he started?"

"Eating my snack," she replied blithely, holding up the bowl of jalapeños. "They're quite good, would you like one?"

"Eurgh," he grimaced, making a face at the bowl. "Maybe he was just protesting your choice of food. I don't know how he can stand it."

"Well he made me crave it, so he had better enjoy it," Tsunade told her husband, miffed.

As though in agreement their son kicked once more, hard.


	95. Prank Date

Dare from Trickymander - Minato and Kushina tries to set up Jiraiya and Tusnade on a date the date willnot go so well and than the two kids will get into troble. However, thesannins will get to gather just fine.

Enjoy!

* * *

Prank Date

"Minato!" Kushina whispered loudly, beckoning to the blond twelve-year-old who looked surprised, but walked over to where the redhead was crouched.

"What's up?" he asked politely, squatting down next to her.

"_Shhh_!" she quickly pushed a hand over his mouth, peering over the fence behind her as though expecting someone to pop up any moment. "Don't let them hear you!"

"Who?" Minato questioned curiously, wondering who she was hiding from or pranking today. He chanced a quick look over the fence before Kushina pulled him back down, and saw his _sensei _with his former teammate, Tsunade. "Them?"

"Yeah," she grinned at him, pointing a thumb over her shoulder. "Those two love birds."

"But they aren't dating," Minato protested, utterly confused. His _sensei _might pretend to woo Tsunade, but surely they weren't in a relationship?

"They will be after I'm done with them!" The grin on Kushina's face was nothing if not mischievous. "They won't know what hit them." Her eyes sharped on Minato. "And if you tell them…" she threatened, pleased when his eyes grew panicked.

"I won't I won't!" Oh the power a girl had over Minato. His _sensei _would be shaking his head if he knew.

"Here's what we're going to do," Kushina whispered, tugging Minato close so no words escaped…

* * *

The redhead beckoned to her partner in crime, who was struggling with a bucket nearly as big as himself.

They had each individually lured the two _sannin_ to one of the nicer parks in the village, and were about to put stage two of their plan into action.

Soak Tsunade.

Kushina was _sure i_t would make Jiraiya be the gallant gentleman he claimed to be, and he would offer Tsunade his jacket, and from there they would realize their love for each other and date forever and ever until they married and had ten kids and Kushina was an aunt to every single one…

Minato was sure the first step would work, but after that? He edged away from the girl so she couldn't hear him mutter "Delusional" under his breath. And there was always Tsunade's reaction to worry about.

"Ready?" the redhead whispered, gesturing frantically to Minato. The two _sannin_ were approaching the 'target zone'. "Now!"

Minato gave the bucket a shove, and gallons upon gallons of water poured down upon the blonde _sannin_, who wasn't able to dodge in time. She was completely soaked.

Her outraged yell was clearly audible to the blond boy in his perch, and he paled. He'd seen the beatings Jiraiya received when he pissed off Tsunade.

"_Gaki_," she growled, eyes shooting up to where the two were perched. "I'll give you five seconds to run. Then you're toast."

Minato didn't even need one – he was gone, tugging the protesting redhead along behind him.

"We have to make sure they date!" Kushina yelled, pulling ineffectually at Minato's vice-like grip on her wrist. "Otherwise the plan's ruined!"

Jiraiya heard her words and grinned, putting an arm around Tsunade's shoulders. "Aw, they're just kids, let them have their fun," he teased her, subtly drawing he away. "Besides, aren't you cold?"

He shrugged off his jacket and placed it around her shoulders.

* * *

Read from that what you will ^^


	96. For You

Yeah its another song drabble. Song is "The Reason" by Hoobastank. I wove some scene in there that I made up intermittently, it's all connected. Enjoy.

* * *

For You

_I'm not a perfect person__  
There's many things I wish I didn't do_

Tsunade didn't want to be a drunk. She didn't want to be a compulsive gambler. She didn't want to be a coward. She was all of those.

_But I continue learning__  
I never meant to do those things to you_

She was sorry for leaving him behind. Sorry for not protecting someone who meant as much to her as his parents had. And because she couldn't stand it, she had left him behind in a place that hurt him.

_And so I have to say before I go__  
That I just want you to know_

"Hey, Naruto!" Tsunade called out, watching the boy in front of her run ahead up the path. He had so much energy, she didn't know where he got it.

_I've found a reason for me__  
To change who I used to be_

It was that energy that had convinced her to come back to Konoha. His words that had changed her mind about who she was and what Konoha meant.

_A reason to start over new__  
and the reason is you_

She watched as he turned back, grinning, and began running towards her. He didn't hate her, he didn't revile her, he didn't blame her, he didn't fawn over her. He actually liked her for who she was, and that meant everything.

_I'm sorry that I hurt you__  
It's something I must live with everyday_

When he had protected her from Kabuto, she had watched in fear as her blond boy bled, watched as he almost _died _to save her.

_And all the pain I put you through__  
I wish that I could take it all away_

She wouldn't let that happen again. "Don't think you can just speed me up by running ahead now," she teased him. "Getting to Konoha any faster won't make me buy you more ramen." Tsunade grinned at his pout.

_And be the one who catches all your tears__  
That's why i need you to hear_

IF she had anything to say about it, he wouldn't be shedding any more tears. She refused to let him suffer any more pain. _If anyone hurts you, they'll have me to deal with._

_I've found a reason for me__  
To change who I used to be_

Before she would have pushed that over exuberant blond boy away; she had actually tried it. But he persevered, and the necklace resting on his chest now was the proof.

_A reason to start over new__  
and the reason is you_

"But _baa-chan_, I'm a growing boy! I need all the ramen I can get! And you two old people need to move faster!" Naruto grinned at her, then took off running at her growl.

"You better run!" Tsunade yelled after him. "_I am not old!"_

_I'm not a perfect person__  
I never meant to do those things to you_

She may have her faults and her quirks, but if Naruto could accept them after everything she had put him through, then she could too.

_And so I have to say before I go__  
That I just want you to know_

Hearing a laugh next to her, Tsunade turned and gripped the man next to her by the back of his shirt. "And if you're agreeing with him, you can meet him face first in under a second," she warned Jiraiya. "Anyways, you're older than I am!"

That wiped the smirk off his face.

_I've found a reason for me__  
To change who I used to be_

She took great pains to hide her age and appearance, and still would no matter what Naruto said. But now it didn't seem to matter quite so much when he called her _baa-chan_, an affectionate nickname. But if she heard it out of anyone else's mouth they could expect a flying lesson.

_A reason to start over new__  
and the reason is you_

Konoha would be a different place with Naruto around. She was sure of it. And even with her _baka _of a teammate frequenting the area, things would be better.

_I've found a reason to show__  
A side of me you didn't know_

Before she had refused to become the _Hokage_, declaring it to be a job only for those who intended to die. Maybe it still was.

_A reason for all that I do__  
And the reason is you_

"Naruto, you better not speak that way to your_Hokage_! After all, who will I pass it on to if you piss me off?" she called, not missing the flash of pride that crossed the boy's face as she all but declared him her successor.


	97. Easter Egg Hunt

This was suggested by addster who had a wonderful Easter dare just meant for today - Naruto is just learning to walk and Tsunade is helping him find his Easter eggs. He tumbles and trips, but Tsunade's quick hands catch him just in time. He gets like four eggs, and then he falls asleep, Jiraiya films the whole thing. It requires fluff, and maybe some cursing between the parents over the amount of screen time Tsunade's chest gets over her son

I wrote this while eating chocolate covered blueberries, Easter candy of my own - all to get in the spirit of the drabble, of course ;)

Enjoy!

* * *

Easter Egg Hunt

"Naru-_chan_!" Tsunade called to her little boy, watching him look at the huge lawn before him. "Come here!"

The young boy looked first at the step before him, then at his mom who was only a few feet away, holding an Easter basket out to him.

With a nearly audible 'plop', he sat down firmly on the stair, small legs dangling over the edge as he tried to reach the ground. The blond boy slid off the bridge edge, landing with a small giggle on the grass upon impact.

"Did he do something? Did I miss anything important?" Jiraiya cried, running out of the house behind his son and brandishing a video camera. "I'm going to get everything on tape!"

His momentum carried him over the step and onto the lawn, right over his baby boy. "Where is he?" Jiraiya asked his wife, who was glaring bloody murder at him. "What?"

"Turn around," Tsunade ground out, fist tightening on the handle of her son's Easter basket in an attempt not to punch her dunce of a husband.

The white-haired man turned and his eyes were drawn to Naruto, who was bouncing on the ground and clapping his hands gleefully.

"There you are!" Jiraiya grinned, scooping up his son. "Are you ready for egg hunting?" Naruto tugged at his hair, seemingly more interested in why it was white than any candy filled eggs.

"No, they aren't hidden in my hair," his father chuckled, setting the boy down on his feet where Naruto promptly leaned against his father's legs. He had just learned to walk.

"Come here Naru-_chan_," Tsunade called again, crouching in front of her son with his basket just in reach. "You want candy?"

At the word candy the little boy's eyes lit up, and he took the few steps between him and his mother with confidence, catching on to the basket just as he reached her.

"Candy?" he chirped, looking up at her expectantly.

"You have to go find it," she told him, tapping him on the nose and watching as his whole face scrunched up in response. "That way." She turned his little body so he faced out towards the edge of their property, where she and Jiraiya had placed some eggs in plain sight.

Naruto took off, leaving his basket behind as he ran towards the source of candy with all the speed his small legs could provide him. Jiraiya followed easily with the camera, taking only one step for Naruto's four.

The video camera captured Naruto's face as he came upon the first egg, lighting up with glee. He picked up the egg with two hands, waving it above his head in the direction of his mother who was still standing where she had been.

"Good job, Naru-_chan_!" she called, coming forward with the basket to take the egg from the boy. When he wouldn't give it up, she reassured him, "You'll get it back when you're done, promise."

Reluctantly, the blond boy placed it in the basket, but in a moment had forgotten all about his prize and was searching out yet another. This time he couldn't find the eggs, although he searched and searched.

Seeing some help was required, Tsunade knelt on the ground next to one of the eggs and made a show of looking for an earring she surreptitiously dropped in the grass. "Naru-_cha_n, can you come help me?"

Jiraiya came over with the video camera, zooming in on the pair as they searched the grass, and caught the exact moment Naruto realized there was another egg.

"Egg! Egg! Egg!" the young boy chanted, holding yet another candy-filled prize above his head.

Tsunade chuckled as she relieved him of his burden. "Great job, Naru-_chan_! There are still some more though!"

Again he ran off, his mother following after reclaiming her earring. As he neared the hiding place of the third egg, Naruto tripped and fell over the egg, only to be caught by Tsunade's quick hands which set him back upright. "Look what you found! Aren't you smart?"

With a quick nod, Naruto took the egg from his mother and placed it in the basket, and shot off once more.

He managed to find one more before growing too tired to even stay upright, plopping down in the grass and rubbing at his eyes with two fists.

Tsunade scooped him up, feeling his small arms twine around her neck as he buried his face in her shoulder. "Aw are you tired, Naru-_chan_?" A sleepy nod. "You found every single egg." No answer, the boy was fast asleep already.

Jiraiya walked over, brandishing his video camera proudly. "I caught it all, the whole glory," he told her, grinning.

"Can we watch it?" Tsunade asked him, gesturing to the house with her free hand. She didn't miss Jiraiya's immediate nervous reaction.

"I don't know if that's a good idea…" he trailed off as Tsunade grabbed the camera from him and quickly rewound through the tape to watch it.

The moment it finished she glared up at him, only to see her husband had retreated to a safe distance. "_Jiraiya..."_ she growled, skewering him in place with her eyes. "_Why_ is most of this video a recording of my _assets_?"

"Because they deserve the screen time?" he offered weakly, edging even further back.

"You're lucky I'm holding our son right now," the blonde informed him, "otherwise you wouldn't be standing. This was supposed to be of Naru-_chan!"_

"He won't remember it!" Jiraiya defended himself. Wrong thing to say.

"That's the _point_! This is supposed to be so he can see it when he's older!" Tsunade whisper-yelled at him, careful not to wake her son. "That's it. You don't get any of the Easter candy."

With that she turned and went back into the house, ignoring the pitiful pleading issuing from Jiraiya's mouth behind her as he begged to be allowed some of wonderful Easter treats.


	98. Knight in Shining Armor

Response to Ella Unlimited's dare - Tsunade and Jiraiya are on an undercover mission as a married couple. They'reboth about twenty and they hate each others guts with a burning passion. Asthey extract the information from the targeted personal, they begin to wonderwhy they ever hated each other in the first place.

Slightly changed.

Thank you so much to Kaiser969 for basically writing a majority of this. I honestly couldn't have done it without you.

* * *

Knight in Shining Armor

"Jiraiya!" Tsunade yelled, dragging her teammate forward by the front of his shirt, "stop ogling the women and sit down!" She shoved him down onto the stool next to her, then smiling innocently at the couple running the ramen stand. "One beef ramen for me and one miso for my husband here."

Jiraiya pouted, then swung around to show his 'wife' puppy-dog eyes. "I'm sorry honey, I'll do better next time, I promise!"

"You had better," Tsunade muttered under her breath, giving the white-haired man a surreptitious kick. "Try to act the part."

"Yes dear!" Jiraiya chirped, winding an arm around her waist. When Tsunade stiffened in reaction, beginning to shrug him off, he whispered in her ear, "act the part."

Tsunade stifled a groan, but let him keep his arm there.

"Aw, aren't you so cute!" cooed the elderly woman on the other side of the counter, setting down their ramen bowls. "To be young and in love…" her voice trailed off as she gazed wistfully at her husband.

Tsunade repressed a snort at that. "This one makes it hard to be in love with him sometimes," she told the woman, digging an elbow into Jiraiya's ribs.

"Hey! I'm the perfect specimen of a husband!" Jiraiya shot back. "Just because you're never happy…"

"Because you never do things right! You're always shooting off to go laze around or –"

"I _never –"_

"Remember when we were like them dear?" the woman continued, watching the two bicker. "Oh the fun we had…"

She continued reminiscing, turning to her husband and was oblivious as the two both huffed in anger and left the ramen stand in different directions, Tsunade leaving behind enough _ryou_ to pay for both their meals.

The next day the two met up once more, their mission to infiltrate one of the noble houses of the village. They had already been there for a week dissembling their roles as a married couple, and now they would see if it had worked.

It was almost pathetically easy for Tsunade to sneak into her part of the house; security was quite lax, although she doubted it would be so around her target. This noble was famed for having top notch security around a certain sword that had once belonged to Konoha. They were here to get it back.

It was as she was making her way to the underground room, following a map Jiraiya had drawn for her, that she began to wonder about the man's behavior. Jiraiya had been almost considerate the past few days, playing his part as a husband flawlessly with only a few slipups. There was no teasing, virtually no groping, and his mind was always on the job.

What was it about him that she so detested?

Distracted, Tsunade walked forward a few steps – right into a trip wire. She began cursing under her breath as an alarm immediately sounded, and fled back down the corridor she had been traversing. The mission was blown.

They had scoped out the ramen bar as their safe-point yesterday should the mission be compromised in any way, and Tsunade headed there now, shedding her mission gear on the way and sealing it into a storage scroll, revealing a civilian's outfit beneath.

The ramen stand was empty when she got there except for its owners, who greeted her gladly.

"I'm glad your back!" the elderly woman exclaimed, coming forward to the front of the counter to talk to the blonde woman. "Where's that handsome husband of yours?"

"He's just running a few errands," Tsunade smiled, masking her worry. "He should be along soon." That was if he heard the alarm, and managed to get out of the house unscathed. She certainly hoped he did.

If she lost Jiraiya, how would she feel? Tsunade didn't know.

Not five minutes after her arrival, the tramp of heavy boots signaled the arrival of the guard. They approached the ramen stand, faces stern as they glared at Tsunade. She was known for being a newcomer to the town, reputably a woman on her honeymoon.

With a terse greeting to the owners of the stand, the leader turned to Tsunade, pinning her in place with a glare. "Where were you twenty minutes ago?" he demanded without preamble, voice hard and unyielding.

"I-I was with my husband," Tsunade played the part of the slightly scared civilian wife, unused to interrogation. "We were shopping…"

"Where is he now?" the questioning continued. As the elderly woman made as though to interject, he slashed his hand through the air to cut her off.

"H-He was taking our purchases back to our room, we were going to meet up here." Tsunade made her voice tremble slightly. "He's so much stronger than I am, and so chivalrous…" Actually, Jiraiya was. He wouldn't let her carry something heavy if he could, and they had fought many times over just that.

"Maybe not so chivalrous to let his woman stroll these dangerous streets alone," the man leered, and Tsunade shrunk back against the bar. "Can anyone vouch for your whereabouts as of yesterday? Or will we have to – take you in for questioning?"

She really didn't like the look in his eyes, nor how his men were beginning to chuckle menacingly.

"We can!" came the voice of the ramen stand owner. "The two of them were here yesterday, eating our ramen and talking to us. Leave the poor girl alone!"

"Ma'am, unless her husband shows up –" the leader began, only to be cut off as Jiraiya ran down the street, shouting.

"Hey, you brutes, leave my wife alone!" he bellowed at the guards, skidding to a halt before the stand and immediately winding a protective arm around Tsunade's waist.

She had never been more glad for his protectiveness, or even tendency to 'grope'. It made their interaction all the more plausible.

"Are you okay?" Jiraiya asked his 'wife', concerned. "These men didn't knock you about, did they?" The glare he shot them promised death if her answer was yes.

"N-No," Tsunade shuddered, still playing her part. She grasped onto Jiraiya's arm, pressing herself close to him.

"Well, now that you're here I suppose you two are fine," the leader groused, giving Tsunade one last look. "But make sure to keep in line."

Jiraiya's arm around Tsunade didn't relax until the men were out of sight. "They really didn't hurt you, did they, _hime_?" he asked her, concern in his voice.

"Of course they didn't!" interjected the elderly woman. "As if we would let them! But your wife was brave, standing up to them. And then you came in being all gallant! Oh, that was a sight to see," she sighed, pressing a hand to her heart and smiling happily.

"I'm sorry I took so long," Jiraiya told Tsunade seriously. "I should have been here right away."

Tsunade felt herself blush just the slightest bit as she pushed him on the chest. "Don't worry about it. You got here in time. Just when you were needed. And you did it perfectly."

Jiraiya grinned at her then. "Glad to be of service." Then his hand moved. "And the prize wasn't bad either."

It took all of her restraint not to hit the pervert there and then, but she figured for his 'knight-in-shining armor' rescue, he deserved one day of being allowed to continue his fantasy.


	99. Rainbow

Response to a dare from Ella Unlimited - Naruto is two. Tsunade is a house-call-doctor/stay-at-home mom that is aboutto murder her only child. Jiriya is an important CEO of a publishing companycall Green Toads and is an author on the side. Because Tsunade is going insane with thehouse-chores and their young son, she orders Jiriya to take her place as thestay at home parent so she can work at a hospital again.

Tweaked slightly...

So this is drabble 99! You know what _that _ means? TOMORROW IS DRABBLE 100! *faints* I never thought I would get this involved in it when I started honestly...^^;

Well I have something really special planned for tomorrow! I think two people know what it is ;)

Enjoy!

* * *

Rainbow

Tsunade sighed as she chased down her two year old son once again, picking up the wriggling, giggling, body with ease and carrying him upstairs. "Come on Naru-_chan, _it's bath time," she told the boy, flipping him right side up as he dove towards the ground in an attempt to escape.

"No bath! No bath!" the toddler yelled, grabbing Tsunade's face with two hands in an attempt to convince her. "No bath!"

"After what you did to the wall and yourself, yes bath," Tsunade replied firmly, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door firmly behind her. "You're rainbow!"

It was the third day in a row Naruto had gotten into the paints, and she was sick of cleaning the colors off of both her son and the wall. As a stay-at-home mother, watching her boy day in and day out was quite taxing.

It took a few minutes for her to divest the boy of his clothes; Naruto made the task much harder by flailing his body and catching it on all parts of the articles, but finally he was cloth-less and in the tub with warm water running.

"Pretty!" Naruto squealed as he watched the colors begin to wash off of him, Tsunade running a shower head over him. It was much faster to drench him rather than wait for the tub to fill with water. There was blue, red, green, purple, and a _lot _of orange, Naruto's favorite color.

Just as she was beginning to soap his hair to get the remnants of paint out of it, she heard the door downstairs open and slam shut. "I'm home!" Jiraiya's deep voice called up the stairway.

"We're up here!" Tsunade called, cracking open the door to the bathroom and handing her son a rubber duck to play with.

There was a pause then "Tsunade what exploded?"

"Blame your son!" she yelled back, turning to look at the blond boy. "You're clean."

"Yay!" Naruto cheered, shooting up out of the bath. As he made to run out of the bathroom, Tsunade whipped out a towel and caught him, toweling his body dry before quickly dressing him in some clean clothes.

Then she let the boy go, knowing he would tackle his father, and followed.

"There you are!" Jiraiya laughed, and Tsunade saw him scoop the shooting blond bullet up. "I heard you made a mess!"

"Rainbow!" Naruto grinned down at him, tugging on his white hair.

"Sure sure," Jiraiya told him, tossing the boy into the air a few times. "Tsunade, are you going to clean that up?"

That was it.

"If you want it cleaned up, how about you stay home with Naruto?" she asked, voice calm, although her eyes were sharp. "You get to go to work every day, while I have stayed home every day for two years with our son. Isn't a change of pace due?"

"What?" Jiraiya asked confused, looking at his wife in surprise. "But I thought you loved Naruto! And it's got to be easier to stay home with Naruto rather than working–"

"You can do your job just as easily from home, it's not as though the company requires you to be there every day," Tsunade continued, slowly moving forward. Jiraiya shrunk back slightly at her approach, eyes widening. "Besides, I've wanted to go back into the medical field for a couple years now, there's so much to learn."

"I-I suppose," Jiraiya stuttered uncertainly. "If that's what you want…"

"Perfect!" the blonde woman chirped, all smiles once more. "I already have an open offer. We can start tomorrow!"

"Okay…" Jiraiya had no idea what had just happened, but staying home with Naruto was sure to be a walk in the park. Right?

The next day as Tsunade came home from her new job, she heard the familiar cry of "Rainbow!" issuing from the kitchen.

Seeing nothing on the walls, she approached the room curiously and had to stifle a laugh as she looked in.

Instead of his normally pristine white hair, her husband sported a head of rainbow, with Naruto standing on the table looking proudly at his work. The whole kitchen was covered in colors, including some papers spread before her husband.

"Fun day?" Tsunade asked her son cheerily, laughing as he nodded happily.

Then she looked at Jiraiya and wiggled her fingers. "Have fun cleaning this up!" she grinned, all malice, and disappeared upstairs to unwind after a day of work.


	100. Tickling and Ramen

So I hope this is as cute as it was in my head! This is the 100th drabble! *Cheers!*

And as such, to my 500th reviewer Ella Unlimited I am granting her wish - to be written in. Good luck babysitting Naruto! XD

Thanks to addster for providing the energy drink part!

Enjoy! *Crosses fingers*

* * *

Tickling and Ramen

"Are you sure you won't mind?" Tsunade asked again, hesitating in the doorway. "We could always reschedule…"

"No, no, it's fine!" Ella reassured her, hefting the blond boy in her arms. "I'm sure Naruto and I will get along great!"

"Thank you so much for doing this," Jiraiya put in from his position behind his wife. "We've needed the time out and away from the little menace." He only chuckled as Naruto stuck his tongue out at his father. "See ya, _gaki."_

"The numbers are on the refrigerator, if he's hungry there are snacks in the cabinets…" Tsunade rambled on as her husband began to pull her backwards.

"We'll be fine!" Ella laughed, and shut the door firmly as Tsunade was dragged away. "Now, little man, what shall we do first?" she asked Naruto, turning to the little boy who simply grinned at her.

"Play!"

He dove out of her arms, shooting for the ground and running off the moment he hit it. Ella watched the four year old go, then followed him at a more moderate pace.

That was, until she couldn't find him.

Naruto had disappeared, although Ella knew he had to be in the house. "Naruto," she called out, pitching her voice to a sing-song note in the hope of eliciting a chuckle, "come out come out wherever you are!"

No response, but she wasn't worried. There was a sure fire way to bring the boy out.

Ella made her way into the kitchen, still looking behind window curtains and couches as she moved, although she doubted the blond boy was there. Reaching into one of the kitchen cabinets, she pulled out Naruto's one worship – and the one thing he wasn't allowed to have more than once a day.

Instant ramen.

"Naruto!" she called again, shaking the container as though calling a cat with food. "Come here!"

A blond blur shot towards her, immediately leaping for the treat she held in her hand; a hand that was swiftly raised above her head.

"Ramen ramen ramen ramen –" Naruto babbled, jumping up and down in an attempt to get his love. "Pleaaaaaase?" He turned on the innocent eyes, pleading with her.

"Not until dinner, little demon," she grinned at him, tapping him slightly on the nose and watching as his face wrinkled up in response.

"Fine," Naruto pouted, crossing his arms and huffing.

Then Ella's eyes looked past the boy, and at the open refrigerator. "What…" she began, moving towards it to close the door, and looked inside. There was a pack of energy drinks on the bottom shelf, and as she took another step to get a good look at the label, her foot kicked something.

Looking down, she saw two empty bottles of the sugary energy booster. "No…" she whispered to herself, looking back at the boy.

Naruto just grinned at her then shot away.

"No no no…" Ella moaned, closing the door and bouncing her head against it. Naruto really was going to be a little demon.

"Ella come and find me!" she heard echoing through the hallway next to the kitchen, and began to grin. "Well, at least this should be fun."

She ran out of the kitchen, still holding on to the instant ramen, and saw Naruto dancing at the end of it, shirt off and circling above his head. He squeaked as he saw her charging towards him, and shot off, shirt trailing behind him like a banner.

"I'm going to get you!" Ella exclaimed, hand outstretched to grab the boy. He managed to evade her first grab, ducking neatly under her arm and shooting back the way he came, although she managed to grab his shirt.

He let go of it after a swift tussle, leaving it behind in preference of escape.

Ella brandished her trophy, teasing Naruto with it as he stopped at the end of the hall and stuck out his tongue at her.

Then he squeaked as she began to run towards him and disappeared around a corner.

Instead of following him, Ella doubled back, circling around through the house in the opposite direction. The bottom floor was a square.

As she heard the pitter-patter of his feet approaching and his hastily stifled giggles, she hid herself behind the doorframe and waited.

The moment he shot through the opening she grabbed him up in her arms, easily restraining the wriggling little body and carted him over to the couch in the room, where she dumped him down.

The blond boy tried to escape, but Ella was there, darting in at his unprotected sides with wiggling fingers, eliciting sharp squeals and giggles.

"No tickle! No tickle! Stop!"

"No surrender!" Ella grinned at him, flipping the boy over as he crawled on his stomach towards the edge of the couch. "A true warrior never gives up!"

"S-S-Stop! Please!" Naruto managed to gasp out, eyes squinted closed as he struggled to stop laughing, to get away from the tickles.

"Do you give up?" she asked him, stopping her fingers for a moment to hear his answer.

"Never!" he chirped at her, immediately shooting to his feet and leaping over the back of the couch.

"Oh no you don't!" she told him, instantly catching him as he tried to escape. "We aren't done yet!"

Before she could have the boy at her mercy once more, he had leapt onto her back, forcing the girl down onto the couch and trying his own version of tickling.

"Little menace," Ella mock growled, pretending to try to fight him off. "I'll never give up!"

Getting her hands free, she scooped up the forgotten shirt and pulled it over his head, effectively trapping his arms in place.

"Now, do _you _give up?" she asked, resting her finger on his nose. As he tried to snap at it, teeth flashing, she withdrew it quickly, shaking it at him. "Naughty naughty. Do I have to eat this ramen in front of you?"

His eyes widened as they focused solely on the treat. "No no no! I give I give!"

"You have to take a nap first," Ella told Naruto firmly, laying him down on the couch and guiding his arms through the sleeves of his shirt. "Okay?"

"Okay!" the blond boy nodded seriously, turning on his side and curling up. "Promise ramen?"

"Promise," she told him, watching as his eyes flickered shut. He was definitely tired.

Not five minutes later the front door opened and Tsunade and Jiraiya entered, keeping their movements quiet.

Spotting Ella in the next room, Tsunade walked over, glancing down at her sleeping boy and smiling, brushing a hand through his hair.

"You're a miracle worker, no one else has been able to get him to sleep," the blonde woman said quietly. "Was he any trouble?"

"No, none at all!" Ella told her, grinning. "We had tons of fun! But I did promise him ramen..."

Tsunade chuckled. "I'm not surprised. We'll make sure to give it to him. He hasn't had his daily dose yet anyway."

"Okay then." Ella turned to tap the sleeping boy lightly on the nose once more, smiling as his face scrunched up even in his sleep. "See ya next time, little demon."


	101. The New Hokage

So sorry this one is rather late today...I honestly didn't expect to be eating dinner for 2 hrs...^^; That's what happens when you run into someone you know at the Commons...XD

Anyway, this dare was suggested by Ella Unlimited and I just HAD to write it NOW! - It's the ceremony that takes place when the Hokage title is traded off. Jiriyais unfortunately dead physically, but not emotionally for Naruto and is passing on her title to her personal ray of sunshine. Throughoutthe ceremony, both Naruto and Tsunade envision Jiriya with them as they takethe next step in both their lives.

Enjoy!

* * *

The New Hokage

"And so," Tsunade announced to the village clustered below the rooftop of the _Hokage _Tower, her voice pitched to carry, "I would like to announce my successor, soon to be your _Rokudaime Hokage_, Uzumaki Naruto!"

As the crowd below exploded into applause and cheers, she beckoned Naruto up to stand next to her on the edge.

"Now, I'm sure you all know Naruto," she continued once the cheers had died down. "He's been in the village his whole life, and made his impact with every year." A few chuckles arose from the crowd as they recalled some of his better pranks. "When the _Chuunin _Exam came around, that's when he began to shine."

Her voice grew quieter in remembrance for those who were gone. "Jiraiya found him there, trained him up, and he went on to _beat the Hyuuga prodigy in an unprecedented turn around! After surviving the Sand and Sound Invasion, he and Jiraiya sought me out, and brought me back to become the __Hokage _of Konoha." She reached out and ruffled Naruto's blond hair, smiling as he batted her hand away irritably to a ripple of chuckles from their watchers.

Naruto stepped forward then, and took up the tale. She knew he could almost feel Jiraiya standing next to him, reveling in this moment as much as they were, waiting to hear his part of the story told. "_Ero-sennin _took me out for a three year training trip, and even though I nearly killed him and had my wallet stolen by the man multiple times," here he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "I got stronger. So much stronger. That's when I came back here, and we launched into the war with Akatsuki. A war we _won_!" His voice rang out vibrantly on the last word, and the public cheered once more.

"And we couldn't have done it without Jiraiya. I owe so much to him, for everything he taught me, everything he laid down for his village, including eventually his life. So let us remember the man, the great _Sannin _Jiraiya!"

This time the roar was deafening, and as Tsunade looked out over the crowd, she could almost see that white-haired man hovering above them, face scrunched up into a grin, and a huge thumbs up directed at them.

_You would have been so proud of him in the past years, Jiraiya,_ she thought, stepping back to allow Koharu and Homaru to speak as was traditional_. __He's matured so much from that little gaki you brought to seek me out, and is so much more powerful. He's truly the successor to your legacy, to your teachings. The best pupil you've ever had._

Next to her, Naruto had bowed his head, looking down at his clasped hands as he listened with one ear to the speeches given. _Ero-sennin, I promised you I would do it. That your sacrifice wouldn't have been in vain. And it's not. I'm going to protect Konohagakure just as you did; I refuse to let it fall. It will truly be the village you dreamed it would be, that I promise you!_

A light breeze blew across the rooftop, rippling Naruto's hair and Tsunade's robes. Almost as though he heard them.

The speeches finished, Tsunade stepped forward once more, taking the official _Hokage_ hat off her head. "And now let me present to you Uzumaki Naruto, your _Rokudaime Hokage!_" she yelled, placing the had ceremonially on Naruto's head.

The loudest cheering they had ever heard erupted from the crowd below, including the quite audible yells of the Rookie Nine as they watched their teammate finally achieve his dream.

"You did good, _gaki_," Tsunade whispered as she stepped back and Naruto stepped forward, raising his hands above his head for silence.

"I, Uzumaki Naruto, the _Rokudaime Hokage_, do hereby swear to protect and guard Konoha with my life, and to guide it in the path of peace!" he called out, voice solemn. Then he grinned. "Let the fun begin!"

As he too stepped back, he could almost hear a voice echoing Tsunade's before the congratulatory words began from the rest of the observers on the rooftop. "You did good, _gaki_."


	102. To Squash a Bug

Response to a dare from Dark Shadow Raven - "one day Tsunade is cleaning up a closet and stumblesupon the worst enemy of all women, a bug. A string a funny events takes placewith Jiraiya stepping in and adding the frosting on the cake of Naruto investigates and find his parents in a very indecent momentand accidentally kills the menace of a bug... "

Enjoy!

* * *

To Squash a Bug

"I hate cleaning," Tsunade grumbled to herself once again, forcefully ejecting yet some more debris from the bottom of the closet. "Messy, unorganized, dirty…"

She continued muttering to herself as she cleared out more items. Things had fallen off shelves, piled up on the floor, and she was finally making progress in a closest that had been ignored for a couple years. She had had better things to do than cleaning.

The floor was _just _becoming visible when Tsunade froze, eyes locked on the spot she had just bared.

The blonde woman was many things – a mother, a hard worker, a healer, a wife – and was not scared of anything – except bugs. And there was one _huge_ bug sitting right in the middle of her new patch of floor,_staring _at her.

"Ah…" Tsunade began, eyes wide as she slowly began to lean backwards, hoping the creepy crawly thing wouldn't _move. _She could see it's legs, all six of them, the two antenna on top of its head, and they were all___wriggling._

Then the bug scurried towards her and she was scrambling backwards as fast as she could on hands and feet, screaming. "Aaahhhhhhhhh!"

The moment the sound of distress exited her mouth her husband was there, pulling the trembling woman up into his arms as he looked around for the source of her fear.

"Tsunade? What's wrong? What is it?" he asked anxiously, head moving in six directions at once. Anything that could make his strong wife scream had to be quite bad and _big._

"A-A-A _bug_!" she managed to get out, an accusing finger pointing straight into the closet.

"A bug?" Jiraiya asked quizzically, following Tsunade's finger. Then "Holy crap that's a _huge bug!"_

He too took an involuntary step away from the menace, although he made sure to keep his body between his wife and the bug.

"Don't worry I'll get rid of it!" he proclaimed, his chest puffing out with bravery.

"My hero," Tsunade told him facetiously, more courageous now that she was away from the bug. "Do you need a weapon?"

"A true warrior needs no weapons," Jiraiya said lightly, although he grabbed a cup from the kitchen. "Watch and learn."

He stalked towards the closet once more, trying and failing to keep his movements stealthy. Tsunade was _sure_ that bug was watching her husband approach, she could see its antenna wiggling in his direction.

As he got within three feet of the bug, the white-haired man yelled "Gotcha!" and lunged towards the bug, cup poised to trap it. He fell two inches short, the cup thumping to the floor next to the bug.

Immediately the insect began to move, scrambling up over Jiraiya's arm and onto his sleeve, crawling up his clothes.

"Did I get it? Where'd it go?" Jiraiya questioned frantically, lifting up the cup to see if the bug was under it.

"It's on you!" Tsunade called to him, making a hasty retreat away from her husband. _She_ wouldn't get the thing off of him.

"On me?" Jiraiya asked, confused, then the light dawned. "On me!" He immediately shot off the floor, doing an odd dance in an attempt to dislodge the bug that was now latched onto his shoulder. "Get it off get it off get it off!"

He slammed backwards into the wall, causing a picture frame to drop to the floor, and promptly fell back towards the ground where the bug was dislodged and landed next to his face.

Jiraiya stared at the bug, and the bug stared at Jiraiya.

Then it did the logical thing and _ran _before the furious man could bring out a hand to squash it.

Tsunade quickly ran around the corner stifling her laughter at the scene. She knew her husband would never get over it if he thought she had seen him get defeated by a bug.

"I chased it away!" Jiraiya told his wife proudly when he entered the kitchen and saw her sitting at the kitchen table.

"You're amazing!" she told him grandly, getting up to give him a kiss on the lips. "How about we got upstairs and make sure there aren't any bugs in our bedroom?"

"I like that idea," her husband murmured, grabbing her hand and tugging her towards the stairs. "We'll have to be quite thorough."

Two hours later Naruto turned the doorknob to his parent's room, asking "Mommy where's the –" _squish._

Both Jiraiya and Tsunade shot up from their bed, Tsunade clutching the sheets to her chest. "Naruto! What have we told you about knocking!" she scolded her son. If he had come in an hour earlier…

"But mommy, I'm hungry, and I just stepped on a bug," the blond boy complained, taking off his shoe and holding it up for her to inspect. "See?"

Tsunade took one look at the bug, then at her husband. "Looks like your son is a better bug killer than you are," she told him, whacking Jiraiya lightly on the head.

"Yeah yeah, shut up," he groused, rubbing at the spot. "At least I didn't scream." A pillow hit him in the face, hard. "_Ow!"_


	103. Don't Make Him Cry

In response to a dare from addster - Naruto (maybe four or five) comes to Tsunade bawling his eyes out because he's being harassed by villagers and someone threw a rock at him and cut his head. Before she goes on her killing spree, Tsunade calms him down like any good mother and tells him she'll take care of it. Maybe a little fluff, that stuff is always good! AU would probably work best, and she's his mother.

Also thanks to her for helping me write some of it due to my lack of inspiration...^^;

Enjoy!

* * *

Don't Make Him Cry

Naruto burst into his house crying, barreling down the hall with tears flying off his cheeks. Immediately Tsunade stepped out of the kitchen, wiping her hands off quickly with a towel and kneeling down to her son's level.

"Naruto, what's wrong?" she asked, concerned as he buried his face in her shoulder and held on tight.

"T-T-They hurt –" he managed to get out before the sobs overcame him again.

Tsunade pulled him away from her shoulder, eyes wide as she immediately searched her baby boy for any injuries. "Did they hurt you?" she asked, her voice motherly even as she felt ice creep through her veins.

Watery blue eyes met her own honey brown ones. "They called me a d-demon, and then a boy threw a rock at me 'cause I tripped," he whimpered, rubbing across his eyes with one hand. "I'm not a demon, am I mommy?"

"No, sweetie, you're an angel," she reassured him, standing up and picking up the five year old.

"B-But they _said_ I was! And t-they yelled at me, and –" the tears began to come faster again, and his breathing picked up.

"Shhh," Tsunade soothed him, rubbing a hand along his back. "I think you need a nap."

She felt a nod into her shoulder as she headed up the stairs, but what distressed her was the pool of wetness she could feel spreading. Anybody who made her son cry would be hurting. Soon.

Tsunade lay the small body down on the bed, lying down next to him as he wouldn't let go of her neck. "Don't leave!"

"I'm not going anywhere, Naru-_chan_," she told him, stroking a hand across his hair. Then she lightly pressed a pressure point in his neck, watching as his breathing immediately evened out and his eyes closed. But the silent tears that still fell from his eyes even in sleep tore her heart.

When he woke up three hours later, back to his happy self, Tsunade was still lying there, head propped on her right hand while her left rested on his stomach.

"Naru-_chan,_ where did these boys tease you?" she asked him, ruffling his blond hair.

"The demon was before class…" he responded, wrinkling his brow in thought, "and the rock was coming back home..." he trailed off. "Do I have to go to school tomorrow?"

"Don't worry about school," his mother reassured him, sitting up and pulling her son into her lap. "I'll walk you to and from it, how does that sound?"

"Yay!" Naruto exclaimed wrapping his arms around Tsunade's neck and planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek. Then he ran off in search of something fun to play with before dinner.

The next morning, Tsunade walked Naruto to school as promised, holding his hand tight the whole while.

"Can you show me the boy that teased you?" she asked him quietly when they arrived at the school yard, her eyes roaming over the many children running around and playing.

Naruto put his finger to his lips, other hand still clinging to Tsunade, as he thought, then pointed. "That one."

The boy was in a pack of children, all circled around a tree and laughing loudly.

"Stay here, Naru-_chan_," she told him firmly, letting go of his hand and beginning to stride over to the group purposefully.

When she reached the boy she tapped him on the shoulder, waited for him to first turn around, a sneer on his face, then slowly look up until his eyes met hers.

"Whatcha want, lady?"

"Is your day so pathetic that the highlight of it comes from teasing a five year old boy?" she asked pleasantly, cocking her head at him.

"Whaddya mean?" he asked her, cockily.

"I mean you insulted my son. If I hear you've done it again, I'll make sure you never forget the lesson I give you," she told him, smiling lightly. There was no way he could miss the hardness in her eyes.

After a second, he looked away, averting his eyes to stare at the ground, but didn't answer.

"Got it?"

A growl was all she received as he turned back to his group of friends, who immediately began whispering frantically.

"Tch, not worth my time," Tsunade muttered, making her way back to Naruto. "I'll be here to pick you up this afternoon, okay?" she told him, crouching down to his level.

"Okay!" he chirped, giving her a quick hug and dashing off to join a couple of the other boys from his class.

Tsunade was at the school yard a few minutes before school ended, watching as the children rushed out, yelling and laughing. It was easy to distinguish her son's head as he was one of the last students out, standing at the top of the steps before running down towards her.

He immediately latched onto her hand, and she asked him, "How was your day?"

"It was fun!" he grinned, launching into a quick babble as they began walking home.

As they neared the area he had been attacked, Naruto noticeably faltered, looking up at Tsunade with pleading eyes.

"Why don't you go on ahead, and I'll stay here and wait for them," she told him softly, giving him a gentle shove forward.

He looked at her trustingly, then walked slowly forward, head swiveling as he watched for his attackers.

Sure enough, two boys stepped out from behind two trashcans, converging on the small boy. "You've got a lot of nerve coming here again," the first one sneered, circling around the blond, "after what your mom said. Maybe we should _punish_ you for it."

As he made to shove the smaller boy, Tsunade appeared behind him, hand snaking out to grab his wrist and spin him around into his friend, then pushed Naruto back behind her.

"You've got a lot of nerve talking to my son that way right before me," she began, steel in her eyes. "Maybe it's time I taught you that lesson. Naruto? Don't look," she ordered, and waited until her son had his eyes covered before she attacked.

Two seconds later she grabbed his hand and began walking home whistling merrily, leaving two boys rolling on the ground behind her with groans of pain, clutching a rather sensitive part of their anatomy.


	104. A Dare

Response to a dare from Ella Unlimited - I will give you a word, and I'd love it if you could base a chapter on thatword. Okay here it is: Underpants.

Now THIS was an interesting dare...XD Thanks to Freewolf17 and Kaiser969 for thinking up using Konohamaru!

* * *

A Dare

"Why would I do that?" Konohamaru protested, looking around the group of Academy students surrounding him. "If I get caught…!"

"If you want to be part of the group, you have to prove yourself," Hanabi told him implacably. "You know the _Hokage _Tower the best, so it's only fitting this is your challenge."

"But to steal –"

"What, are you chicken?" goaded another of the students, prodding Konohamaru in the back.

"No I just –"

"I think he is!" jeered Kouji, smirking at the boy. "Doesn't want to be part of the _cool _kids. If you can't do this, you don't deserve to be an Academy student!"

Konohamaru turned a dull red, then met Hanabi's eyes and his flush morphed into a slight blush. He had to impress her.

"Fine! I'll do it!" he yelled, silencing them. "Tonight."

"Bring us the proof tomorrow," Daichi told him, then turned and walked off with the rest of the group.

Udon and Moegi stayed behind, standing next to their leader.

"Boss, are you really going to do it?" Moegi asked, worried.

"Of course I am! A true _shinobi _never fails his mission!" Konohamaru retorted proudly, thrusting his chest out. Then he deflated. "I just hope I don't get caught…" he shivered as he remembered the last time he had bumped into their formidable _Hokage_. It had been embarrassing for them both.

That night Konohamaru crept out of his room in the _Hokage_ Tower, where he had been allowed to live since his grandfather died, having no home of his own.

It was easy to get to the _Hokage's _rooms, but that was where the challenge began. He slowly slid the door open, wincing at every small noise it made.

The boy heard Tsunade's snores from the next room over, loud enough to penetrate her bedroom door.

On silent feet he crept forward, waiting at the door, not sure he wanted to risk opening it and face her wrath if she woke up…then another door caught his eye.

It was right next to the bedroom, and ajar so he could see it was a bathroom.

Konohamaru made his way over there noiselessly, entering the bathroom and seeing another door connecting it to the bedroom, also ajar.

And right in the center of the room was a convenient pile of clothes.

_Success! _Konohamaru grinned to himself, engaging in a silent air punch, before quickly riffling through the clothes and picking out Tsunade's bra._Now they'll have to let me in!_

He was out of the room in under a minute, sprinting through the corridors to make it back to his room and sleep the night away so he could show his prize.

The next morning they were in the Academy school yard, the group clustered around Konohamaru in anticipation.

"Well, did you get it?" Kouji asked him snidely, giving the boy a disparaging glance.

"Of course I did!" Konohamaru shot back, pulling the bra out of his backpack. "Here!" He thrust the article of clothing into the boy's hands.

"Well, you're in…" Hanabi began to tell Konohamaru, just as they all felt a massive amount of killing intent approach.

"Which one of you brats stole my bra?" Tsunade asked the group, looming behind them with death in her eyes.

Konohamaru immediately pointed to Kouji and squeaked, "He did!"

The moment all of Tsunade's focus was on the boy, he took off, dragging Hanabi along behind him by the hand.

"You little pervert! You think it's funny to –" Tsunade's yells were easily audible, and Konohamaru winced for the boy on the receiving end of them.

"B-B-But I didn't…" Kouji's protests were easily overpowered.

"I didn't like him that much anyway," Hanabi told Konohamaru matter-of-factly, as they cowered behind the huge tree in the center of the school yard. "The whole dare was his idea."

"Next time he can do it," Konohamaru muttered, peering around the tree. "If he survives…"

The two watched as the helpless Kouji was dragged away by his ear by a furious Tsunade.

"Yeah, if."


	105. The Pet Shop

Response to a dare from Ella Unlimited - Naruto is about three or four, loves to destroy everything in sight, and really wants a pet. Tsunade and Jiriya (his loving parents) decide to take him to a pet store and allow him to pick out a single animal. A huge fight, broken cages, 20 loose birds, 9 angry hamsters, 163 overfed fish, and many upset cats and dogs later, they decide to get Naruto a sleeping cap that looks like a dog and are never allowed into that store again.

Yeah I kept most of the numbers there =)

Enjoy!

* * *

The Pet Shop

"Mommy, mommy, mommy, pleaaaaase?" Naruto pleaded, tugging on his mother's pants.

"_No_, Naruto, I don't think you're ready!" Tsunade responded, exasperated.

The blond boy looked to his father for help, and Jiraiya rubbed at his chin thoughtfully. "He did do great with that stray fox…" he suggested, and Tsunade rolled her eyes.

"Two against one, and who says boys play fair?" she muttered to herself, then untangled Naruto's fists from her pants. "_Fine. _We'll go to the pet store to _look, _but no promises."

Despite the warning in her voice, Naruto cheered at the victory. "Let's go now!"

Tsunade met her husband's eyes, and was dismayed to find the same glee in his obsidian eyes as was in her son's blue ones. "Fine, we'll go now." She knew when to concede a defeat.

An hour later found them inside the pet shop, Tsunade frantically searching the area for their son as Jiraiya tried to pick up items that had fallen off shelves in his passage.

"You just _had_ to give him sugar,_ didn't you," _she growled at him, eyes roving for any trace of blond hair.

"Hey, he was looking sleepy!" Jiraiya defended himself. "I thought maybe it would wake him up a bit…"

"He's awake _now_," she shot back, then ran down the aisle as she saw her son standing near the fish tanks.

"Naruto, what are you doing?" she called to her son, who had somehow managed to get on top of one of the rolling ladders kept nearby and had a plastic bottle in his hand.

"Feeding the fishies!" he responded gleefully, upending the whole container into the water of the fish tank. Immediately there was a huge surge of fish shooting towards the food, and Naruto clapped happily before, making a quick descent.

Tsunade tried to grab him as he ran by, but somehow her quick son managed to evade her and rushed off. Tsunade ran in his wake, grabbing a packet of hamster bedding that fell off its shelf in his passage.

By the time she got to his location, her son had managed to make it inside an 'employee's only' door, and was standing on the side of the hamster cages where he could reach into the them.

The sight made Tsunade stop and stare – and then pity the poor hamsters. Naruto was spinning their wheels, and whatever hamsters were on the contraptions were forced to run fast or dismount. Most chose to make a quick exit.

When there were no more hamsters on the wheels, he turned to the next point of interest in the room. The birdcages.

With a flick of the boy's wrist the door was open and birds were flying out, Naruto running with them.

"No, no, no," Tsunade groaned, framing her face with her hands and closing her eyes. "Let this be a very bad dream…"

Then her golden eyes shot open at the next sound. The barking of many dogs.

"Be free!" she heard Naruto yell, just before…a bark, a growl, a meow…a huge fight started. It was dogs against dogs against cats against cats. And it was complete mayhem.

The manager shot out of his office, and stopped, staring at the mess that had once been his neat store.

Just then Jiraiya came running up, brandishing a black and white item in his hand. "Tsunade, look what I found!" he yelled, shoving it in her face.

It was a nightcap, child sized, with two eyes and a mouth that made it look quite cute.

"Maybe we can get this instead," she began, eyeing the store warily, when the manager came stomping up to them, dragging Naruto by the arm.

"Is this your –" he paused on the epithet he planned to use, "_child?"_

"His," Tsunade groaned, pointed a finger at Jiraiya as she massaged her temple with her other hand. "All his."

"Your offspring has caused a fight among the cats and dogs, angered nine of our hamsters, let loose _all _of our birds, and overfed one hundred and sixty three of our fish," the manager began in an eerily calm voice.

"I-I –" Jiraiya began, only to be cut off by the man taking his arm and heading towards the front of the store.

"Please leave," he told the white haired man politely. "_And never come back."_

Tsunade, meanwhile made a discreet beeline for the cash register and handed the girl there the cap. "I'd like to buy this please," she sighed wearily, reaching for her wallet.

"No need," the girl grinned at her. "You can have this for free. It was worth it to see the manager angry," and she handed the nightcap back to the blonde woman.

Tsunade gave her a heartfelt "Thank you," and quickly exited the store, keeping a sharp eye out for the manager lest he swoop down on her too.

She found a chastised Naruto and Jiraiya standing outside, heads hanging down, and pouts on both faces.

"Here," she handed Naruto the cap, smiling slightly when his face lit up and he immediately put it on his head.

As he ran off down the street, making animal noises, she grabbed Jiraiya sharply by the arm, not letting go even when he winced.

"_Never. Again."_


	106. To Get a Scroll

A spin off from the underwear drabble, this time as suggested by addster...kinda.

Sorry this one is so late today, but this was "One of those days where the only thought going through your head at the end of it is "wtf?" " Yeah. And then it got worse. Anyone got any dirt on Apple I can use? Thanks.

Enjoy

* * *

To Get a Scroll

"You have to do it!" Tsunade glared at Jiraiya, crossing her arms over her chest. "You swore on your _shinobi _pride you would do_any _dare I gave you!"

"But that's just stupid!" Jiraiya protested, slightly panicked. "Do you _want _me to die? Just imagine what_Hokage-sama –"_

"If you do it right, _Ojii-sama _won't find out," Tsunade countered, sticking her chin out mulishly.

"But –"

"Are you _chicken?"_

That got Jiraiya's hackles up. "You're on!"

"Tonight!" Tsunade challenged, uncrossing her arms to poke Jiraiya in the chest.

He swatted her finger around irritably, and frowned at her. "Tonight's too soon!"

"_Ojii-sama _and_Obaa-sama _have to go to a meeting tonight, so if you want to do it without them there," Tsunade began, smirking internally.

"Tonight it is!" Jiraiya cut in, then glared at her. "And if you're setting me up…"

"Why would I do any such thing?" Tsunade batted her eyes innocently at the six year old.

"Because you're a manipulative flat-chested girl," Jiraiya returned promptly, then turned and ran for his life.

"_You take that back!" _Tsunade shrieked, taking off after the boy. "You irresponsible short brat!"

"Never!" he yelled over his shoulder, swinging around a lamppost to throw her off his tail and reversing direction. "See you tonight!"

That night found the white-haired boy shifting nervously in front of the door to the _Hokage's _rooms, Tsunade hidden in the corridor behind him.

"All you have to do is go in, get it, bring it out, show me, and put it back," she whispered to him, making sure to keep her body and head out of sight of anyone who ventured into the corridor.

"Why can't you do this again?" he muttered fiercely, glaring alternately between her and the door. "It's not out of place for the _Hokage's _granddaughter to be in his rooms, but her teammate?"

All he got was a grin in response and the waving of a folded paper.

"Yeah, yeah I'm going…" he grumbled, pushing the door open slightly.

_Can't believe she's making me do this…_he fumbled around in the dark, making his way through the rooms as he searched._If she really wanted to see it she could just come get it herself!_

He grabbed the scroll off the woman's dresser, checking to make sure it had the ribbon tied around it as Tsunade had specified. Then he hightailed it out of the room, popping his head out of the main door and waving the scroll at Tsunade.

Who wasn't there.

"Hey, where'd you go, flat-chest?" he hissed, trying to get a reaction. If she was still anywhere in the hall she would come flying at him.

Then he heard the voices.

"Thank you so much_, Hokage-sama_, for your help," one of the clan heads was saying as the Hokage, his wife, and the man walked down the hall towards the rooms Jiraiya was in.

_Crap! _The white-haired boy swiftly ducked back into the rooms, making his way to the dresser to replace the scroll there.

He heard the main door open behind him, and his eyes widened in fear. _Got to hide!_

He dove into a closet off the hall, shutting the door soundlessly behind him, and held his breath as the three made their way into the sitting room.

They showed no sign of moving any time soon.

Jiraiya cursed under his breath, easing open the closet door, and peeked out. The room wasn't visible from his current position, and there was a window at the end of the hall. _Bingo._

On quiet feet he was creeping down the hall, opening the window, and sliding through the opening. Then he fell.

With a quick flip he landed on his feet, bounced off the roof of the house below with a judicious application of _chakra_, and was fleeing the scene, heading for the bridge across the river that ran through Konoha.

Tsunade was waiting there, eagerly expectant.

"Well, did you get it?" she asked him immediately, searching him for any sign of the scroll.

"You weren't there!" he accused her, glaring daggers. "What did you want a stupid scroll for anyway?"

"Idiot boy!" the blonde shouted, punching him in the arm as hard as she could. "That scroll had vital information on it!"

"Yeah? Like what?"

"None of your business!"

Jiraiya made a sound of disgust, turning away from the girl. "You want that scroll, next time _you_ can go window diving."

"Not if you want this back!" she waved the paper in front of his face again.

"_Give me that!" _In a flash he had snatched the paper out of her hand.

"Why does it matter so much?" she taunted him.

This time he colored. "None of your business!"

"Then I guess I don't have to tell you what was on that scroll."


	107. It's Okay to Cry

Yeah it's another rain drabble. We've had thunderstorms here! *I love them!*

But gah I think I pissed off the luck god or something because things have NOT been going my way. Can I go live in a hole and not care about anything? Kthx.

Oh and in other news they fixed the document formatting for when you copy paste from word finally. So I don't have to fix italics every time

Enjoy the drabble

* * *

It's Okay to Cry

Tsunade stared out the window, watching the rain pouring outside. She had found Jiraiya out there, sprawled in the mud of the path that led up to Konoha, the water beneath him running red.

The only reason she had been going out there to begin with was because of a hunch. The man had been due back in the village a day before, and she was getting twitchy.

"Tsunade-_chan_?" her _sensei's_ voice broke through her thoughts, and she turned from the window, arms crossed tightly across her chest and shoulders slightly hunched. "Tsunade-_chan_, he'll be fine."

One hand worked its way free of its clasp to her body to push some strands of her still sopping blonde hair out of her eyes. "I know he will be, he's just – " She broke off, brushing at a drop of moisture running down her cheek.

It was _not_ a tear. It was simply some of the water dripping from her hair that she hadn't felt. She _wasn't _crying for the _baka_ who had gotten himself beaten up so badly.

"It's okay…to cry…" rasped a voice from the bed, and Tsunade's gaze immediately shot to the white-haired man lying there with his eyes cracked open. "Just…don't cry…for me." He tried a grin, but even he could tell it was a pathetic attempt. "I'll…be fine."

"Why would I cry for you?" Tsunade shuddered, her arms wrapping around herself once more. "It's not like you're seriously hurt or anything. It's just water!"

"Sure," Jiraiya tried to laugh, only to stop immediately as pain burst through his body.

"Jiraiya-_kun_, go back to sleep," Sarutobi told the twenty-year old, walking over to stand next to his bed. "You need to recuperate a bit more before you can do anything."

He formed a few hand seals and pressed his palm to Jiraiya's forehead, and the man immediately went limp as he was sent back into unconsciousness.

Tsunade relaxed slightly as Jiraiya's eyes closed, and her own roamed over his body. There hadn't been time to clean him up before they began healing him, so he was still dressed just as muddy and bloodied as he had been when she found him.

His torn and soaked clothes were in a pile on a chair next to him – they looked more like rags.

Tsunade shuddered once again as she caught sight of the number of bandages on his torso alone, and turned back to the window before more 'water' began to drip down her cheeks.

She reached out with a finger, tracing the path of one of the raindrops on the other side of the glass, from top to bottom. Over and over, following a new one every time, until she felt she had control once more.

"_Sensei,_ he's going to have to be in here a while," she looked back at Sarutobi, who was leaning against the wall by the door, watching his student. "He'll be off missions for a month at least."

"I know," he responded equably, pushing away from the wall. "I'll just leave you here to watch over him, shall I?"

She gave him a terse nod, not trusting her control much further than that. The moment her _sensei _was out of the room she made her way to the chair positioned next to his bedside, and sat there, where she could both watch him and the window.

When Sarutobi peeked back through the door not a minute later, he saw Tsunade holding Jiraiya's limp hand in her own as a tear trickled down her cheek.

"It's okay to cry for those you love, Tsunade-_chan_," he murmured to himself, watching his student. "That's how you know you're still alive."


	108. The Kings of Konoha

So I was going to do a dare, then I got so pissed at something I learned today I honestly couldn't think of anything to do for them. Beyond pissed.

So instead I decided to do something with a fight scene.

Thanks to Kaiser969 for reminding me of the 'kings' and the will of fire

* * *

The Kings of Konoha

Tsunade punched at the man in front of her, ducked a swipe from the one in back of her, and jabbed an elbow into the gut of a woman who tried to jump her from a tree limb above her head.

The woman fell to the earth with a heavy grunt, and Tsunade executed a handspring that put her just out of the path of a roundhouse kick from the man who had tried to stab her, that ended up hitting his partner in the face.

As the_ katana_ wielding man crumpled to the ground unconscious, Tsunade axe kicked the woman who was beginning to rise in the stomach, successfully driving all of the wind out of her.

She heard a whirling sound behind her and ducked swiftly, hearing the item whiz over her head and a solid "_Oof_" as it connected with her still standing opponent.

"Thanks!" Tsunade called back over her shoulder as she ran forward, scooping up the _katana_ from the unconscious man, and striking at the man in front of her, who was fighting off a chain that was wrapped tightly around his torso.

He froze when the point rested at his neck.

"We only need one of you alive," Tsunade sang sweetly, pressing lightly with the blade.

"I-I'm the leader!" he stuttered, eyes wide with fear as they eyed the blade. "I'm the one you want!"

"Are you so sure of that?" Tsunade asked him, watching as his eyes flicked backwards. She snapped a kick behind her, and was rewarded with a grunt, then the sound of a body hitting the ground.

"Maybe I should kill you and keep one of the others." Her eyes narrowed as he began to palpably sweat; he could see the battles her teammates were fighting behind her and had no doubt they were going badly for the enemy. "Now's your chance to convince me."

"I know where the hostage is hidden!" he blurted out, swallowing convulsively and stopping when the _katana_ pricked his throat a little deeper. "Nobody else knows!"

Tsunade wouldn't have believed him, but the man she and her team had captured the night before had indicated only one person knew where the hostage they were rescuing was located.

"Show me."

"What about my comrades?" the man asked, eyes darting to the two on the ground.

The man stirred slightly, hand twitching as though in search of his _katana_.

Two quick slashes and Tsunade turned back to the man, an innocent smile on her face. "What comrades?" Then her eyes turned hard as she glared at him. "Walk now, or I'll torture it out of you."

She hadn't killed them, although it looked like she had, but they wouldn't be walking any time soon. In case the man wasn't the one to know, her team had agreed to leave everyone alive until the hostage had been found.

The man began to walk away from the clearing, trembling slightly, and stumbled over the chains still hanging from his torso. Tsunade grabbed them up in one hand, keeping the other firmly on the _katana_ which she then pushed lightly into his back. "Walk."

He did so, leading her far from the clearing, through the trees and into the hills nearby. Stone outcroppings were all over the place, creating many nooks and crannies where anything, from a bag to a crowd of people, could be hidden.

Tsunade was on constant alert, scanning the hillsides for any sign of an ambush. She also sent her _chakra_ out in a wave, searching for any concealed person, but found none. The hostage was too young to show up on her radar.

Finally the man turned into a valley, stopping in front of a rock enclosure. "In here," he whimpered, fidgeting against the chains.

"Open it," Tsunade purred, digging the _katana_ in a little deeper as an incentive.

"Without my hands free –" the man protested, than stopped as he saw the dangerous glint in her eyes. He bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, then leaned down and pressed it against a portion of the stone outcropping.

A barrier flashed into being, then disappeared just as quickly, revealing a hole in the side of the outcropping.

"You first." Tsunade unceremoniously shoved the man in ahead of her, in case of any traps.

When there were no screams of pain she entered herself, and let her eyes adjust to the light.

The man lay sprawled on the floor where she had pushed him, curled up in a ball. She kicked him aside, ignoring the whimper of pain, and approached the small figure in the corner.

"Kurenai-_chan_?" she called softly, reaching out with a hand to shake the girl lightly.

The brown lump turned over, and Tsunade stifled a gasp. The girl's red eyes were bound with a rough strip of cloth, obviously torn from her clothes. Her hands and feet were bound as well, her wrists tied awkwardly crossed behind her back, and she had a gag in her mouth.

Dried blood ran from her dark hair down the side of her face and neck.

Tsunade bit back a curse as she quickly cut the cloth, cataloging away every whimper of pain the child let out as future recourse against whoever they left alive.

"Kurenai-_chan_, I'm going to pick you up and carry you out of here, okay?" she kept her tone gentle, picking up the five year old and placing the child carefully on her back, wrapping the small arms around her neck firmly. "Hang on."

She formed five hand seals and pressed a palm to the man's forehead, he immediately went limp as his circulation was stopped. "Don't go anywhere," she told the body cheerily, then left.

Kurenai cried out as they stepped into the light, burying her head deep in Tsunade's shoulder.

_Whoever would do this to a child is going to die a long and painful death_, Tsunade promised herself, clenching her teeth.

The moment she got back to the clearing she let out a sharp whistle, signaling the rescue of the hostage.

Immediately her team stopped fighting to incapacitate and began to attack in earnest, and the kidnappers dropped like flies.

"You got her?" asked Jiraiya, walking up to them as four men fell to the ground in his wake. "Let's head home."

"You hear that, Kurenai-_chan_?" Tsunade asked the five year old over her shoulder. "We're going back to Konoha." A slight nod and her shoulder dampening was her only reply.

"Jiraiya, can you do me a favor?" Tsunade asked sweetly, nodding to the two she had incapacitated earlier. "Kill them as slowly and painfully as you can."

With that she jumped away, leaping from tree branch to tree branch back to Konoha.

As her _sensei _put it, children were the 'kings' of Konoha. They carried on the Will of Fire, and were to be protected at all costs.


	109. A Corner and a Window

Another rain depressing one sorry. Until life gets itself back on track and stops going screwy/wrong, I don't know when I'll be able to think of good stuff for the dares. They are pretty much all happy/witty stuff right now, and my brain isn't functioning that way. Dare responses may be sporadic until next weekend, when I finally get a handle on all the work and stress.

* * *

A Corner and a Window

Tsunade was curled up in the corner with her arms wrapped around her knees, pressing her back against the two walls that formed it.

Her whole room was dark, the only light coming in through the window set in the far wall, where the grey, rainy afternoon cast a dim glow.

Her eyes were fixed on the silhouette the window left in the center her bare floor, watching raindrops flow down the image as they did the window.

Over, and over and over. Restarting, picking up a new one, following the jagged, wavy trails.

There was a knock at her door, but Tsunade didn't turn her head. She was mesmerized by the trails.

"Tsunade?" a faint voice called.

She shrunk back into the darkness of the corner, hoping the shadows would cover her.

The door opened, and a teenage boy stepped into the room, looking around carefully. "Tsunade?"

The blonde girl held her breath, not daring to move for fear of attracting his attention. All she wanted was to be alone, her mind blank.

But the spiky hair caught her attention, and the profile. Her memory clicked, and the sharp intake of breath alerted him to her hiding place.

"Tsunade," he sighed, walking slowly over to the corner. He didn't miss how she shrunk back, eyes still fixated on that one spot of light in the room.

He sat down a bit away from her, watching as her fingers twisted with each other where they rested on her shins, arms still tight against her legs.

"You can't stay in here forever," he began gently, watching her face for any reaction. "He wouldn't want you to."

Her eyes snapped to his for a second before darting away, looking anywhere but at him.

"Don't you think he would be out _remembering_ you, rather than trying to hide away from it, if he was in your position?" the boy continued, leaning forward intently.

A tear began to trickle down Tsunade's cheek, mirroring the rain on the window, although she didn't seem to notice it.

He reached out to brush it away, ignoring her flinch of surprise as his hand came close.

"It's okay to cry you know," he told her, looking at the glistening drop of liquid on his finger. "It shows you care."

This time she gave him a long look that conveyed disbelief although her face didn't change. What good were tears? All they did was show _pain_.

"Think of it this way." The boy wasn't frustrated per say, but he wanted to break through to his teammate. If she remained locked in her room, there was no telling what she would do. "He died for the village. The village you're ignoring, hating as the cause of your pain."

Again no response.

Jiraiya stood up with a sigh, looking down at the still curled up form. "Nawaki died for Konoha, Tsunade. Help him carry on his dream."

Tsunade stood up long after he had left, walking to the window of her room and looking out at the village her brother had died to protect. No, he wouldn't have wanted her to mourn him this way. She would continue his wish.


	110. The Wound

Dare from Snakekiss that fit my mood - Can you perhaps write a chapter about that time where Naruto hurts Jiraiya during their training tour? How Naruto and Tsunade feel about that situation?

Might have morphed a bit...

Also I forgot to mention - Wandering the Arid Sea made the 600th review, if you want me to do anything special, just ask

Enjoy

* * *

The Wound

"You're back!" Tsunade greeted her two boys gladly, smiling at the both of them happily. Then her expression morphed into a scowl. "What took you so long?"

Naruto grinned sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his head as Jiraiya backed away slowly. "We kind of ran into a snag on the way back…"

"A snag?" Tsunade raised an elegant eyebrow, and waited for the explanation.

"Well you see, _Ero-sennin_ kind of ran out of money after the huge medical bill we had to pay, so we ended up –"

"Wait." Tsunade held up a hand, eyes piercing to the white-haired man. "What huge medical bill. What happened?"

She didn't miss the myriad of emotions that flickered of Naruto's face – shame, pain, sorrow – and the ones on Jiraiya's – embarrassment, and regret.

She only grew more concerned at their silence, until she barked out, "Explain!"

"_Ero-sennin_ was teaching me how to control the Kyuubi," Naruto began, not looking directly at Tsunade, but rather adverting his eyes to the right. "And I…"

"He lost control," Jiraiya continued bluntly. "My fault really, I shouldn't have pushed him to three tails when he was the slightest bit tired."

Naruto's head whipped around to stare at the man in surprise. "But I'm the one who –"

"No," Jiraiya interrupted flatly. "You are my student. It was my mistake, and the blame rests on me. Not," he jabbed a finger at Naruto, "on you."

Tsunade got up from her desk, eyes soft as she looked at her two boys. "Show me."

"Are you sure, _hime_?" Now Jiraiya was avoiding her eyes. "It wasn't all that bad, and the medicine woman said it was all healed up…" He quailed under her glare. "Okay."

He pulled up his shirt, and Tsunade stifled a gasp at the large scar on his torso. It looked like a sunburst from a central deep pockmark, almost as though…

"It was a Kyuubi ransengan," Naruto told her in a dead voice, avoiding looking at the wound. It was obvious he still blamed himself for hurting his mentor.

"Hmmm…" Tsunade responded, attention focused on the wound. She placed both hands on either side of the scar, searching for any trace of the Kyuubi's _chakra_ remaining in the wound to poison or affect Jiraiya in any way, as well as for any internal damage.

She found none and withdrew her hands, motioning for Jiraiya to pull down his shirt once more. "There's nothing wrong with him now," the blonde woman turned to Naruto who was staring at the floor. "Just a scar."

"He shouldn't even have that!" Naruto exploded, head snapping up and eyes blazing into Tsunade's. "If I just had more control over this," he thumped his stomach hard, "that would have never happened in the first place!"

She didn't think he was aware of the tear trickling down his cheek.

The only way to break through his self-pity was to be harsh, Tsunade decided.

"No, if you could control it, that wouldn't have happened," she told him, voice scathing, and held up her hand to Jiraiya as he began to protest. He subsided instantly, trusting her. "If you had control over the Kyuubi, a lot of things would never have happened."

His anger faded away in shock, and he stared at her, eyes wide. Then hurt crept into his face.

"But –" and her voice softened. "If you had control of the Kyuubi in the first place, you wouldn't be who you are today. That –" Tsunade waved her hand in the direction of Jiraiya's wound, "is just a physical testament to the battle you are fighting to master the Kyuubi; it's proof that you're trying, and you won't stop. If you just gave up after you had hurt him, had let Kyuubi loose, what would have happened?"

The paling of his face let her know the answer to that one.

"Exactly. You _care_, Naruto. That's what matters, your will and your spirit. As long as you keep trying, no one will blame you."

He was motionless for a second, then stepped forward in a swift movement and engulfed her in a tight hug, burying his face in her shoulder.

Tsunade stood stock still in shock, then relaxed and wrapped her own arms around him.


	111. Presents and Pillowfights

This is a Mother's Day dare addster gave me a few weeks ago. Fits the day perfectly now! Happy Mother's Day to any and all mothers out there!

And if you wanna squee over cuteness - a puppy and her 'brother' playing! *taken by moi* www. youtube. com/ watch?v=wsAuf-shSjs Go and watch!

Anyway, *Dives back into page 5 of the 15 page essay* Enjoy!

* * *

Presents and Pillowfights

A huge thump on her bed woke Tsunade up, and she felt the mattress move as whatever it was wiggled around.

Then there was a small face right in front of her opening eyes, a huge grin gracing it. "Wake up mommy!"

"I'm up, I'm up," Tsunade groaned, pulling herself up into a sitting position back against her pillows.

Naruto was crouched on her lap, two wrapped presents beside him, as Jiraiya stood by the doorway, a laughing smile on his face and a video camera pointed their way.

"Naruto, why don't you show her what you have?" he called when the blond boy showed no signs of moving.

"Oh yeah!" He dove to the side, resurfacing with one present in his hand and a card. "Read it mommy!" Naruto pushed it into her hands eagerly.

Tsunade looked at the front of it, sloppily colored with reds pinks and oranges, even a bit of blue worked in, and with some foam hearts stuck on randomly. Definitely Naruto's work.

"Did you make this?" she asked him without opening the card, and was rewarded by furious nodding. "It looks amazing."

He turned bright red and jumped off the bed to go hide behind Jiraiya's leg, peeking out at her.

Tsunade let out a laugh, opening the front flap of the card to see what was inside. In Jiraiya's neat penmanship were the words,

"We wanted to wish you the best Mother's Day you've ever had, presents and all. So don't worry, we didn't blow up the kitchen, and the rest of the house is intact. Love, Jiraiya and –"

Where Naruto's name should have been there was a bright orange handprint, and sure enough when she got a look at his right palm, it was orange.

"Are these my presents?" Tsunade asked her two boys, turning to the wrapped boxes beside her. One had a distinct arrow proclaiming "This way up" on the side, and she raised her eyebrow at that. The other was lying on the lap where Naruto had dropped it in his rush off the bed.

"Open the big one first," Jiraiya told her, pushing Naruto in front of him with one large hand; the boy leaned back against his father's legs, twisting slightly.

She reached for the box with the arrow, carefully ripping open the wrapping paper and gasped sharply when she saw its contents.

"Aged _sake_?" She could barely keep the glee from her voice. "And four bottles of it!"

Jiraiya laughed at his wife's excitement, commenting, "Don't drink it all at once!" Then he smirked at her glare. "Open the next one."

With one more dirty look at her husband for good measure, Tsunade reached for the smaller box as Naruto ran back up to her. "That one's from me!" he proclaimed, jumping back up onto the bed and bouncing slightly.

"Oh really?" she asked him playfully, reaching out to ruffle his hair. Naruto pouted, both hands going to his head to protect it.

Tsunade relented, opening this present more quickly, wanting to see what her son had gotten her.

The moment she caught sight of her present her mouth began watering. Chocolate. Made by one of the finest chocolatiers in their area. It took all her willpower to keep from opening the box and eating one right then and there.

"Thank you, Naruto," Tsunade told her boy, who was turning red once more and looking away. Which was the perfect opportunity. In a swift move, Tsunade had scooped him up in her arms, careful of the chocolate and _sake_, and was giving him kisses all over his face as he squirmed to try to escape.

"Lemme go!" Naruto yelped, then broke off into helpless giggles and Tsunade began tickling him instead. "S-S-Stop!"

Jiraiya came over and rescued the presents, but not his son, instead videotaping the whole event and grinning madly. "That's why you stay out of reach," he told his son from the relative safety of five feet away from the bed. "Otherwise, once she gets you she'll never let you go." Then he had to dodge a pillow that was thrown at him with pinpoint precision by his wife, who stopped tickling her son long enough to whisper in his ear.

"Yeah!" Naruto cheered, then shot off the bed straight for his father.

"Woah, woah, get back!" Jiraiya yelled, beating a retreat from his son, into a corner, only to have his eyes widen as his wife got up too, holding two pillows. "No fair, double-teamed!"

"All is fair in love and war!" Tsunade grinned at him, handed a pillow to her son, and hit her husband over the head with her own pillow while Naruto went for his legs.

Jiraiya only took a few hits before he was able to escape, stopping by the door for a second before running out. "Last one downstairs doesn't get any of the chocolate chip pancakes!"

Mother and son looked at each other for a second, then both made a mad dash for the door.


	112. Maybe

Note - before you read the drabble...read this. Yeah, its a serious topic, and I have no personal experience with adoption 'finding out' and all that...the one friend I have whose adopted its clear right off the bat...so if you think I screwed anything up just tell me.

I will do the dares eventually, but like I said before, now isn't a good time for happy or witty.

* * *

Maybe

"Hey loser!" Naruto ignored the taunt, heading down the hallway. He was always singled out for his bright yellow hair, and had learned to brush the bullies off.

This time, they followed him all the way to his locker, standing around him in a circle of jeering faces as the boy collected his books.

"Hey loser!" the leader repeated, moving right up close to Naruto. "I heard your family is _fake_. No one cares for you!"

"My family is fine!" Naruto shot back, slamming his locker shut. "Which is more than I can say for yours!"

The bully pushed him back, shoving the boy into the row of lockers. "Oh yeah? Then why don't you know they aren't your real parents?"

The world dropped out from under Naruto's feet. "That's not true! They are! You're lying!" he protested, but there was a hint of doubt.

The bigger boy just laughed at him. "We've all known for years they aren't your _real_ parents, they just lie to _you!_" With another shove, he and his jeering gang moved away, leaving Naruto standing against the lockers, eyes wide and unseeing.

When he got home, Naruto was lethargic, barely muttering a hello to Tsunade when she greeted him. Jiraiya wasn't home yet, and he was determined to ask both his parents at the same time. So instead of talking to his mom like he usually did about school, Naruto retreated to his room, leaving a worried Tsunade in his wake.

He heard the door slam downstairs he didn't know how many hours later, and faint whispers between his mom and dad – no, Tsunade and Jiraiya – echoed up the stairs to his room. But still he lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling until Tsunade called him down for dinner.

His eyes were blank as he sat at the dinner table, and the meal was tense. Finally Tsunade got up to do the dishes and clear the table, and that was when he asked, or rather accused.

"You aren't my real parents, are you."

Jiraiya froze where he was reaching for the paper, and Tsunade dropped a plate back into the sink.

"What do you mean by that?" the white-haired man asked carefully, looking at his son with serious eyes.

"I mean you aren't my biological parents!" Naruto repeated, voice completely flat. Tsunade stumbled towards the table, grabbing her seat and almost falling into it.

"Where did you hear this?" she asked, voice shaking. He couldn't have found out now, not when he wasn't ready…

"Does it matter?" His voice was rising, brought on by temper and anxiety, wanting to hear it was false but knowing all along it was true.

They couldn't lie to him now. "No –" Jiraiya began carefully, but that was all it took to set off the volcano.

"I trusted you! I _believed_ you! And now I find out _you aren't my real parents_?" His eyes were hot with fury, betrayal, even a hint of shame. "You lied to me my whole life!"

"We didn't want you to find out this way," Jiraiya began, just as Tsunade started "We were waiting for you to be a bit older before we told you – "

"Lies! All lies!" Naruto raged, hands lashing out, slamming down on the table.

"Naruto –" Tsunade reached for her son, but he hit her hand away.

Jiraiya began to rise from the table, eyes dark. "You do _not_ hit your mother!"

"Mother?" Naruto laughed bitterly. "What mother? All you tell are _lies_. I have no mother!"

Tsunade's hand dropped to the table, and her eyes fell. "We love you…" she whispered, but he could hear it.

"Lies! _I hate you!_" Naruto yelled, ducking under Jiraiya's arm as he tried to restrain the boy and running up to his room. The door shut with a slam that was audible down in the kitchen, and Tsunade felt tears roll down her face.

Jiraiya wordlessly put his arm around his wife and guided her upstairs, but she stopped outside Naruto's door and wouldn't go any further.

Inside she could hear her son sobbing, and could picture him lying on his bed, face buried in the pillow. She slid down the wall outside his room, and remained there, tears soundlessly streaming down her face, with Jiraiya sitting next to her.

Long hours later – she wasn't sure, but thought it was after midnight – the sounds inside finally stopped, and the ragged breathing evened out.

Tsunade gently shrugged off Jiraiya's arm and opened the door to Naruto's room soundlessly. Sure enough, her son was lying face down in the pillows, and she could see the damp patch spreading over it.

Her steps made no noise as she approached, one hand reaching out tentatively to brush over his hair. He didn't stir.

"We do love you," she whispered, and sank to the floor next to his bed to wait out the night.

When Naruto woke the next morning, it was to see his mother sitting asleep against his bed, one hand resting on the pillow next to him, and his father slumped next to the doorway.

"Maybe…" he whispered to himself.


	113. To Be a Failure

I may actually have a summer job! Maybe. It was kind of vague - if they ask for your fingerprints and say looking forward to the summer does that mean you actually get it?

Classes for Spring 2011 are officially OVER! Now I just have to suffer 4 huge finals. XD Craziness!

In other news...this story has reached 20k hits! *does a dance of happiness* Thank you so much to everyone who reads this, whether reviewing or not, and a _great big huge_ thank you to those who review every chapter! I look forward to seeing the responses every day!

Kaiser969, Freewolf17, Echo Uchiha, Ella Unlimited, Quintessence of Gold, maxridelover, addster, and DarkShadowRaven. Thank you!

Anyway, wasn't _quite_ in the mood to write humor today either - blame the allergy headache - and so thanks to Kaiser969 for suggesting this topic. Hope it isn't as sad as the last one...

Enjoy

* * *

To Be a Failure

"Hinata-_sama_!" The harsh voice rang out in the air, shattering the silence and startling the poor girl.

She spun around, hands immediately rubbing down her apron nervously.

Neji stalked up to the poor girl, regarding her with scornful eyes. "Hinata-_sama_, you are late for your sparring practice," he told her politely, with such undertones of hatred Hinata couldn't help but flinch. "Come."

He barely gave her time to pull the apron off before he had grabbed her left wrist and led her out of the kitchen, still acting the perfect Branch House member.

"_N-Nii-san_?" Hinata stuttered, eyes going wide as they moved. "You're h-h-hurting me…" She tugged ineffectually at his hand on her wrist, feeling the bones rub against each other.

"Am I?" he asked, disinterested. "You are a Main House member, Hinata-_sama_, you should be able to withstand a little pain." His grip got tighter.

Hinata whimpered in response, but didn't respond. That is, until she was sure her wrist would break. "_N-Nii-san_…" she tried again, this time stopping. They were almost to the _dojo_.

"You are weak, Hinata-_sama_." The boy spat the words, looking down at where his white-knuckled hand gripped her wrist, at her pain twisted face. "You do not deserve this!" His other hand lashed out, catching her across the cheek hard.

Hinata stumbled to the side, hair flying, thrown by the force of the blow; the only thing that kept her upright was Neji's hand still squeezing her wrist. With one more painful clench of his hand, Neji let go of it, and watched as the heiress crumpled to her knees, rubbing at her wrist with her head down.

Then without another word he walked away, leaving her kneeling in front of the _dojo_.

It took Hinata but a minute to gather herself, to prepare for the next battle. With a deep breath she approached the _dojo_, sliding open the door and entering, head bowed.

"_Gomennasai," _she began, not daring to look up. "I'm afraid I lost track of time."

"An heiress should be punctual," came the cruel voice from her left. "Get on the mat."

Without raising her head, Hinata did as she was instructed, assuming her position on the mats in the center of the room and going through a few stretches. Barely a minute passed before the male voice spoke again. "Prepare yourself."

That was all the warning Hinata had to raise her head and meet her younger sister's strike with a block of her own.

They traded blows, Hinata continuously giving ground as Hanabi advanced, _chakra_ flashing between the two. The elder warded away the blows, using palms, forearms, and elbows to redirect Hanabi's hands. The younger was focused, eyes intent and blazing with hatred as she sought to incapacitate her sister.

Then Hinata faltered, distracted momentarily as Hanabi hit her wrist exactly where Neji had squeezed it. The younger girl leapt into the opening, stopping with her hand barely a centimeter from Hinata's heart.

There was no comment from their father where he sat by the wall, save but "Again."

This time the spar was even quicker, Hanabi gaining the advantage immediately. A hand stopped at Hinata's forehead as another aimed at her stomach.

"Again."

They sparred until they were both breathing raggedly, until Hinata was shaking from exertion. As Hanabi won for the ninth time, she collapsed to her knees, arms immediately going to support her torso only for her left arm to crumple. Hanabi stood over her, hair plastered to her face.

"You are weak." Hiashi said it a neutral tone, as though remarking on the weather. "You're sister can overcome you in seconds, and yet you are the heiress." There were no sounds of disgust, as those would be undignified, but somehow the lack of them made the words even harsher. "Clean yourself up."

He left the two sisters there, Hinata lying on the mat, and Hanabi standing with a sneer on her face.

"Hanabi-_chan_," Hinata began as she collected herself and rose, shaking slightly. "_Gomennasai_. I have some ointment…"

The younger girl only ignored her save for a glare. Then she too whirled and left the _dojo_. "_Imouto-chan,"_ Hinata whispered to herself. She was so cold; her arms wrapped around herself, trying to keep warm although she knew it was futile.

Nobody in the compound liked her, nobody cared about her. She was a failure.

She made her way out of the _dojo_, looking around to see if anybody was nearby. Only one person was, a council member, who studiously ignored the weak heiress of his clan.

Suppressing a shiver, Hinata made her way to the garden in the far back corner of the compound, tucked away from the main paths.

Her mother's garden.

In it was an elegant stone marker, carved with her mother's name, birthdate, and the line "My two daughters, I will love you forever."

She dropped to her knees in the patch of grass before the marker, trembling fingers tracing over the _kanji_. Then she bowed her head once more in remembrance of her mother, of the one person in the compound who had always loved her, supported her, unconditionally.

Only when she heard a sound did she raise her head; the wall around the garden was in disrepair as no one ventured to the area, and one part had fallen down completely.

Through it, she could see a blond boy running through the forest outside the compound, flashing around the trees.

She recognized him as an outcast too, one the villagers despised and hurt. How was he smiling? How could he be cheerful in the face of such hatred?

Almost involuntarily she rose to her feet, and left the garden behind, following that trail of laughter.


	114. Gone To Visit

So again, not in the mood for amazing humor, although I think there are a few smile worthy parts in this one...life needs to stop being so depressing and worry-making. That, or I need to stop caring about people. I choose the first option.

Thanks to Kaiser969 for suggesting this idea as well, you are an amazing SM.

Enjoy

* * *

Gone To Visit

"Knock knock," Naruto announced cheerfully as he entered the room, grinning widely at his old mentor. "I brought some people to see you."

Tsunade pushed herself further up the inclined bed, smiling as a group of kids followed the blond haired man through the doorway, ages ranging from six to fifteen.

"You all came to see poor old me?" she teased them, thin hands reaching out to grasp the youngest and pull him onto her lap. He relaxed back against her happily, dark hair tickling her chin, and she wrapped her arms around him comfortably.

"Well of course," replied Kyoko, the oldest. "We aren't done asking you questions!"

"Oh is that the only reason?" Tsunade mock scowled, then relented. "So what do you have for me today?"

"Tell us about _tou-san_ when he was a kid?" begged Michi, who was currently situated on her lap. "Not the nice stuff, but the funny!"

Naruto turned a bright red, rubbing at the back of his head with a large hand. "Um…can you leave off the _henge_ parts? Hinata will kill me if they learn it…"

Tsunade let out a loud laugh that translated into a dry cough, shaking her entire body. Eventually she drew in a breath she could feel rattling in her chest. "Sure sure. How about how you got the necklace then?"

Again Naruto blushed, but this time leaned against the wall. "Fine. But you have to tell them the end of that one too!"

She gave him a glare in response. "Who's the story teller here? Just for that…" She cleared her throat and the four kids still standing around her bed hopped up on it, preparing for a story.

"When I met your father, he was a twelve year old, a bit dull with far too much energy." She grinned slightly at his irritated "Hey!"

"He challenged me that if he could learn the rasengan in a week, he got my necklace. If he lost, I got all his money. You all know how well I do with betting," she gave a good natured grimace, "so naturally he won. But it's how the bet was made that the story is.

"You're father had come with Jiraiya to convince me to become the _Hokage_, and I told him it was a fools dream." She heard the gasps of indignation. "Hey, I became the _Godaime Hokage_, didn't I?" They subsided. "So he tried to tackle me – he failed utterly – and then challenged me to a spar, where if he beat me I had to come back and become _Hokage._ So the _gaki_ rushed me, all confident with a half-assed rasengan in his hand carving a ditch in the road." She grinned, looking over at Naruto with dancing eyes as his children waited with bated breath. He covered his face with one hand, not looking at her.

"He got within an inch of me when I flicked him in the forehead, like this," she demonstrated lightly on Michi in her lap. "But the boy flew at least twenty feet away, landing on his back!" All the children giggled at that, looking over at their beet-red father.

"She beat you up good!" commented Kouchi, the ten year old, turning bright blue eyes on his father.

"Yeah yeah no need to rub it in," he mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"But he did eventually win the necklace from me," Tsunade reassured the children. "He even wears it now."

"How did he get it?" asked Minato, the second oldest and the first boy. They hadn't been told that story yet.

"Some other time, kids," Naruto interrupted, pushing away from the wall and walking over to pick Michi up off Tsunade's lap. "_Baa-chan_ needs her rest."

To a chorus of disappointment, the kids all got up, filing out of the room after giving Tsunade a hug each.

Naruto lingered a little longer, closing the door behind them softly. "How are you?" he asked in a solemn voice, inspecting her carefully. The blonde woman's face was thin, as was her body; he could almost see the bones in her hands. "That cough didn't sound good."

"Not too well," she admitted quietly. "I don't think it'll be much longer."

He accepted that with a slow nod of his head, reaching into a bag he had set by the door and handing her two things. "To keep you company," he told her simply, giving her a hug of his own. Then he tugged a blanket up over her torso, leaving her arms free, and headed for the door, turning around and giving her a fond smile just before he left. "You know I love you, right, _baa-chan_?"

"I know," she replied, not acknowledging the tears in his eyes for both their sakes.

When he was gone, she looked down at what he had given her. Two books, one in a florescent pink, and the other in a more muted brown color. Both were worn, as though they had been around for a while and been well loved.

"The Tale of the Gutsy _Shinobi_, and _Icha Icha_ Paradise," she murmured to herself, brushing a light hand over the covers. Then she flipped them open, and right there on the inside was Jiraiya's familiar scrawl, signing the books for whoever owned them. "Miss you, you _baka_," she whispered fondly. "See you soon."

Outside the corridor, Naruto wiped his tears on the back of his hand and smiled at his kids.

"_Tou-san_, when will we get to see _baa-chan_ again?" Michi asked him plaintively, tugging on his father's hand.

"She's gone to visit an old friend from long ago," Naruto replied cryptically, picking up his son and swinging the boy up onto his shoulders. "She won't be coming back."


	115. Found Her

So I'm writing this inbetween exams, and I'm pretty sure my arm feels like it's going to fall off from the ten pages of handwritten stuff I did. Gah!

Now to fill my head with chemistry before THAT exam.

Enjoy the drabble. It's kind of all over the place, if it's not too good I'll revise it later tonight and repost it.

* * *

Found Her

"Sir? We found her."

Jiraiya shot bolt upright at the words, words he had been longing to hear for three years now. His body flushed first hot with excitement and hope, then cold with dread.

"Are you sure this time?" he asked the man who had come up to him where he sat in the middle of the training ground. "It's not a mistake?"

"We're positive," the ANBU replied, voice level. "Identification matched."

"Tell me." Jiraiya fought to keep the shake out of his voice. "Where is she?"

A week later the white-haired man had managed to track down his missing teammate. She had been gone for five years, five long and arduous, torturous years. And now he was going to bring her back.

He walked into the gambling den, trying not to breathe too much of the smoke saturated air. A quick scan ruled out the places she wasn't – the bar, any of the booths, the stage – which meant she was in one place. The tables.

She had always been a compulsively bad gambler, so he didn't understand why that was all she did now; she had to know she would lose almost every time. Tales told of her as the Legendary Sucker, one who lost almost every game, but for the rare times she won. And when that happened, everybody got out of town fast because something bad was going to occur soon after.

And they said she was a drunk.

Jiraiya sauntered towards the tables, keeping a low profile as he watched the crowd for anyone with long blonde hair in two pigtails. He caught sight of a raven, smaller than the rest, holding a pig with a string of pearls around its neck.

The pig had been identified with Tsunade by the ANBU.

Jiraiya moved swiftly, not losing the girl once as she walked through the crowd, until he intercepted her.

"Excuse me," he began politely, "but where did you get that pig?"

The girl didn't look up, keeping her hair hidden by her face…almost as if…

"From around," she replied in a low voice, an obvious attempt to disguise it from him, but Jiraiya wasn't fooled.

Tsunade had taken one other person with her when she left – Shizune.

"Where is she," he asked her, voice intense. "Where did she go?"

"I don't know what you're talking about – " Shizune began, not looking up, but stopped when a hand fell on her shoulder.

"It's alright," Tsunade told her apprentice, glaring at Jiraiya. "I'll talk to him."

"But Tsunade-_sama_ – " the girl began, only to quiet when Tsunade's hand tightened slightly.

"Take Tonton back to the room."

"_Hai_."

She beckoned Jiraiya to follow her out of the loud building, taking a deep breath and letting it out on a long sigh.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here to bring you back," he told her evenly, but wasn't able to keep all of the pain out of his voice. "You just left."

"Yeah. So?" She refused to look at him, to acknowledge his pain.

"_Why?_" he shouted, frustrated. He had tracked her down, determined to get her to come back with him, and she wouldn't even talk to him.

"That's none of your business!" she shot back, irritated. "Konoha isn't my home any longer, that's all you need to know!"

"_No it isn't_."

"So what, you wanted to be the hero, dragging the poor confused girl back to her home where she would suddenly realize she loves it and stay there forever?" Tsunade asked him scornfully, turning hot eyes on the man. "Hate to break it to you, but Konoha will never be home. I'm not ever going back to that village."

Jiraiya froze. She had always had a sharp temper, and a razor tongue, but she had always defended Konoha. Now she said she despised it.

"Why?" he asked again in a softer voice. "At least tell me why."

"If you're so blind you can't see it, you don't deserve to know." She tried to be scathing, but the effect was ruined by the tears choking up her voice. "It kills you. That village eats up your life and _kills you_. I just got out before it could get me too."

"Tsunade…" he said quietly, moving towards her. His eyes flashed with hurt when she backed away from him, out towards the street.

"Stay away from me," she told him in a shaking voice. "I'm never going back, and you can't make me! Konoha is dead to me!"

A cloud of smoke shot up where she stood and Jiraiya cursed, not expecting the move. By the time he had cleared it, she was long gone out of sight.

When he stepped into his _sensei's_ office back in Konoha, the _Hokage_ looked up at Jiraiya with hopeful eyes.

"She's not coming back," was all the white-haired man could get out before he turned and left the office, tears in his eyes.

Their team was well and truly broken.


	116. Brothers

This was inspired by an omake I was doing for my larger fic. I _will_ do the dares I swears on my...grades? O.O Okay not on those, I need those. But I will do them. I just need to have the time and presence of mind to think up witty remarks. Because I'm lacking in that area right now. When I can do them justice, they will be done.

Enjoy

* * *

Brothers

"Come _on_, Shika," Temari wheedled, deliberately using his nickname in an attempt to get a response. "If you put it off forever, you'll never do it!"

The raven lay on his back in the sand, eyes closed and an arm thrown over his face for shade. "I proposed, didn't I?" he muttered, not looking up at his fiancé.

"Yeah, three _years_ ago," she retorted, tugging his arm off his head. "And you haven't done anything since!"

"_Mendokuse_," Shikamaru mumbled, eyes opening to stare at the blonde above him. "What do you want me to do? A wedding is a woman's domain."

Two seconds later he was clutching his stomach in pain where Temari had hit him.

"Any more ideas like that and I'll hit lower," she told him sweetly, eyes deadly. "You've had three years, Shikamaru. Take me or leave me."

"One more month?" his eyes were pleading as he looked up at her, but she wouldn't fall for that trick again.

"That's what you said six months ago. And after all, Gaara's been expecting your decision." She was ruthless, enjoying watching the blood drain out of her man's face. He had forgotten about her protective brother.

"How does a week sound?" he asked weakly.

Temari grinned widely. "Perfect! I'll make sure everything is ready."

With that she disappeared from the dune, leaving Shikamaru to flop back and cover his face once more. "Such a troublesome woman," he moaned to himself. "I had to be crazy when I picked her."

One week later a whole wedding had been organized by Temari, and Yoshino. Shikaku was busy sympathizing with his son and giving him advice on how to deal with 'troublesome women'.

But Temari hadn't told Gaara she was getting married yet; she didn't want her groom dead before she got him. Instead, she told him to show up at the shrine at the specified time, dressed formally.

Kankurou was harder to fool, but she managed to get him to agree to bring something to her at the shrine, and be in something other than his cat-suit.

She just hoped they wouldn't kill her as well as Shika for what she was about to do, he had barely escaped with his life after proposing.

The day dawned, finding her and Shikamaru standing in front of the priest being purified. Gaara had yet to show up, although Kankurou had and was currently being shadow-bound by Shikaku to keep from rushing up onto the stage and beating both senseless.

Gaara entered the shrine just as the purification finished, looking around at the people watching the front of the room expectantly. Temari could feel his eyes scanning the room, then her in an attempt to figure out what was happening.

She also saw Shikamaru's eyes dart to the redhead in fear, and she raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to continue.

Then she began to speak her portion of the vows, feeling more than seeing Gaara's realization. She heard the sound of sand swishing, and hoped he wouldn't try to kill Shikamaru where he stood. Then she would have to beat up her baby brother.

As she finished her vows the sand hovered over Shikamaru, and he glanced up at it nervously, hesitating.

"I don't know why, but you make Temari happy," Gaara announced, breaking the silence that fell over the room. "So if you wimp out on this I will hunt you down and tear you apart piece by piece. Understood?"

From his place at the back of the room Kankurou heartily announced his agreement with that plan.

Temari sent glares at both her brothers, but her heart was oddly warmed by their gesture, violent as it was.

Shikamaru cleared his throat and continued on with the ceremony, keeping an always watchful eye on the sand nearby in case it made a move.

Eventually the ceremony was over, and the wedding reception began.

"You know what this means?" Temari whispered to her new husband.

He looked at her questioningly.

"Now Kankurou and Gaara are your brothers!"

The look of pure horror on his face made her laugh with glee.


	117. Blonde Moments

So the dare was addsters, as were two of the moments (teddy bear and inbox) - The two are car crashes waiting to happen. Their whole day has been filled with harmonious blonde moments and it doesn't seem to be letting up. Sarutobi finds it concerning that both blonde mother and son are suffering from this conflicting disease. What does he decide to do? Why study them, of course!

Tweaked though.

I finally got around to doing a dare! Depending on how fried my brain is from calculus study tomorrow the next one may be all me again though.

Oh, and just to clarify, aren't dryers supposed to actually dry your clothes? Because I went and got mine and they were just as wet as when I had put them in...and it was a 45 minute cycle. .

Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

Blonde Moments

"Tsunade-_chan_, I'm glad you two could make it," Sarutobi greeted his student and her son gladly, holding open the door for the two blondes. "I need some company for the day, otherwise I'll get lonely."

"I'll take any excuse to get out of the house," Tsunade laughed, putting down Naruto on the floor. The four year old immediately made his way to Sarutobi's desk and hopped up on the chair, swiveling it around in a circle. "Even if it's helping you with work."

"Great." Sarutobi rubbed his hands together, then handed Tsunade the first stack of papers. "All you have to do is stamp these in this box here," he pointed to an area at the bottom of the top paper, then handed her the stamp. "Easy, just time consuming."

"Sounds fine," Tsunade told him, sitting down on the floor to begin. "Naruto, get out of _jii-jii's_ chair, he needs it for work."

Naruto pouted but did as he was told, hopping down from the chair as it continued to rotate and almost fell. Sarutobi caught him deftly.

The _Hokage_ easily fell into the rhythm of paperwork as Tsunade got her son situated in a corner with some toys she had brought him, then began her own work.

"_Sensei_…the stamp isn't working."

"What do you mean?" he asked, curious, as he looked up from his paperwork. A stamp couldn't break, could it?

"Look." Tsunade demonstrated by pushing the stamp down on the designated box and lifted it back up. "Nothing."

Sarutobi looked first at the paper, then at the stamp, then at Tsunade. He cleared his throat, trying not to laugh. "That's because you have to put ink on it first." He pointed to the ink pad he had given her with the stamp.

Tsunade blushed slightly pink, and looked down. "Oh, right. Thanks…"

This time ten uninterrupted minutes passed by before Naruto spoke up. "Mommy? Where's my teddy bear?"

Tsunade looked over at her son, scanned him quickly, then grinned. "In your hand, honey."

"What?" He looked down at his hands, and sure enough, his right hand was gripping the worn toy tightly. "Oh! Thanks!"

Sarutobi looked between mother and son, slightly worried now. They were both acting quite spacey…he brushed it off. Maybe they just needed to wake up.

Two hours later and the _Hokage_ was seriously concerned. The mother and son combo had been missing the most obvious things, he was wondering how they had managed to survive so long if this was a daily occurrence.

Just then Tsunade's voice piped up. "_Sensei?_"

He didn't look up from his desk, steeling himself for the next blonde moment. "Yes?"

"Where does this paper go?"

He didn't need to look at it to know it had a note labeled – place in inbox – on the front of it. He had written it not thirty minutes ago. "In the inbox, Tsunade-_chan_."

"Oh." There was a pause. "Which one is the inbox?"

Sarutobi's forehead met the desk with an audible thunk. "The one labeled inbox," he muttered.

"Oh!" A rustle as the paper was placed there. "_Sensei,_ are you okay?"

"I'm just suffering from disillusionment," he looked up at his student, grinning tiredly. "I'll get over it." _How_ did she manage to walk out a door without forgetting her shoes? The Tsunade he knew wasn't this forgetful!

"Mommy, I'm thirsty!" came Naruto's voice from his corner. "Where's my juice box?"

"Right in front of you sweetie," Tsunade told him without even looking over. "Remember, the straw is on the back."

Noisy slurping sounds ensued.

Finally the day was over, and Sarutobi sported a large red mark on his forehead he _wouldn't _acknowledge, despite all Tsunade's attempts to comment on it.

He waved the two blondes out of his office happily, thanking them for coming to help him with his work. Even if it was…interesting. "Here, have some money and go get yourselves some ramen for a good days work. And some sanity…" he whispered under his breath.

Just before the door closed, he heard Tsunade tell her son, "Good job!"

Curious, he kept the door cracked slightly and listened hard.

"You did great today, sweetie. Next time, how about we go in with our clothes inside out, and pretend we can't read?"

Her suggestion was met by an excited cheer in the hallway, and Sarutobi's head thumping against the door in disbelief.

"I was just had by two blondes…"


	118. Gullible Idiots

This was in response to another dare from addster, to whom I have apparently handed off my emoness - I'm going to need that back eventually you know! - t's a meeting of the mothers. Tsume and Kiba come across Tsunade and Naruto (aged six or seven) in the store. The boys chat each other up, giving their mothers strokes, while the two women come to a consensus: their sons are retards. And being the war-torn veteran mothers they are, experiences are shared as well as the various repercussions they've assigned to those acts of "retard-ness". They start to cackle evilly, which causes their sons to slowly back away.

Although I tweaked it again...^^; A lot...^^;

Enjoy!

* * *

Gullible Idiots

"Kiba!" Naruto ran up to the small boy excitedly where he was poking at his mother's dog. Tsunade followed him at a more sedate pace, waving to Inuzuka Tsume as she approached. "What are you doing?"

Kiba looked at the blond boy as though the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. "Trying to get candy of course!"

Naruto nodded sagely, as Tsunade looked down at Kiba with a disbelieving frown, then up at his mother. Tsume just shrugged, at a loss.

"You don't get candy that way," Naruto told the boy condescendingly. "You aren't poking in the right place! Instead, you have to spin around twice, tap your head, somersault, then tap it on the head and candy pops out!"

"No!" Kiba immediately protested. "The somersault comes _before_ you tap your head!"

"I don't want to know," Tsunade told Tsume, exasperation in her tone. "Where do they get these ideas?"

"Hell if I know," the Inuzuka matriarch replied, casting another look down at her son. "Just two days ago he decided if he smashed enough rice all over the floor, it would turn blue." She grinned maliciously. "Of course, he was duly punished."

"What did you do?" Tsunade asked, interested. "I need some suggestions for when Naruto acts like an idiot as well." Her mouth twisted in a half grimace, half smile. "Which is most of the time."

"Yeah, I think both our boys are idiots," Tsume agreed. "I made him stand in the corner for an hour and count every grain of rice he could see. Every time he moved, he had to start over."

"That's good, but did it work?"

"He still refuses to eat rice."

"Well then," the blonde woman grinned. "Naruto decided a week ago that he needed a new look, so he started wearing underwear on his head."

"I think that's a stage all kids go through –" Tsume began, but was cut off when Tsunade raised her hand.

"I'm not finished. They weren't his underwear. They were mine."

"Oh," Tsume winced. "What did you do?"

"Made him go lingerie shopping with me," and Tsunade's smirk was purely evil. "He's been scarred enough to never go into my room again."

She looked over at her son as he began to do some kind of weird dance that involved hopping on one foot in a circle while waving his arms above his head and croaking like a frog. "But sometimes I don't think it's ever enough."

Tsume sighed as Kiba began to do the same thing. "Definitely not. Hey _gaki_, stop acting like a constipated toad!"

"Mom! It's for _candy_!" Kiba retorted, scandalized. "It's a proven dance!"

Tsunade looked first at the two boys, then at Tsume, a smirk growing on her face. "I just happen to have two pieces of candy," she whispered conspiratorially to the matriarch. "Let's see how idiotic they can get."

Tsume guffawed, slapping Tsunade on the shoulder. "Let's. Hey Kiba! I know one even better than that!"

"Yeah right!" Naruto challenged, Kiba seconding him.

"Oh? Then how did I get this?" Tsunade held up one of the pieces, and both boys' eyes immediately zoomed in on it. "First you have to run three times around a tree, jump in a stream and swim across it twice, do a cartwheel, perform a headstand on a large flat rock marked with an 'x', and when you look under it there will be a piece of candy," the blonde woman revealed, fighting to keep a laugh out of her voice.

The two boys immediately shot off in the direction of the stream. "If they do this every time they want candy, it may just be worth seeing them on sugar rush later," Tsume chuckled as she walked over to a conveniently flat rock next to the two women and carving an 'x' into it.

Tsunade lifted it easily and placed the candy in a hollow she carved in the earth underneath. "Definitely." Then she looked over at Tsume and grinned. "Our boys are gullible idiots. But at least they're cute about it."


	119. A Boyfriend?

Dare from DarkShadowRaven - Naruto is twelve, and he's on spring break. Jiraiya and Tsunade are having their normal arguments while preparing a party for a special guest... Naruto's older sister Naruko. Naruto is excited to see his big sister who's been at her first year of college. He loves his big sister. The day comes and Naruko brings home a surprise: her boyfriend: Itachi Uchiha who brings along his little brother Sasuke(he is babysitting). (The parents are surprised and, as normal concerned parents would do, proceed to frisk/interrogate them with Jiraiya interrogating Itachi and Tsunade Naruko in private) The little brothers don't like how close their siblings are and decide to make an alliance to break them up with pranks... (I'll leave the ending for you to decide...)

Tweaked of course, but I hope it fits the bill =)

Three exams down! And Lit can go die in a hole. But I got a really good grade on my torturous 14 page monstrosity paper, so that makes everything better! =DEnjoy!

* * *

A Boyfriend?

"_Nee-san_!" Naruto sprinted away from the window he had been waiting at, just watching for his beloved sister to come home. With a quick jerk, the door was flying open and the blond boy was barreling down towards his sister. "I missed you!"

He flung his arms around her waist almost before she closed the car door, pushing her back against the vehicle with his momentum.

Naruko laughed, wrapping her own arms around her little brother. "I missed you too, _otouto_. Glad to see you back."

Just as Naruto pulled away, intent on jumping up on his sister's back the moment she turned around, he heard another car door open and close, and a black haired man about Naruko's age came around the car.

Immediately his finger was out and quivering in the direction of the man. "What is that!"

Naruko turned from where she was heading to get her luggage out of the trunk, confused, then laughed as she saw what her brother was pointing at. "That's Itachi," she told him calmly. "My boyfriend."

"_Boyfriend?_" Naruto squeaked, eyes growing wide, and heard an echo from the porch where his parents had come out of the house.

"Boyfriend?" Jiraiya yelped, eyeing the man with first surprise, then suspicion. "Where did _he_ come from?"

Next to her husband, Tsunade placed a hand on Jiraiya's shoulder to calm him down. "I'll talk with Naruko. _You_ can deal with him."

A slow grin spread over Jiraiya's features. "Gladly."

"_Gently_," Tsunade added, catching the glint in her husband's eye. "Remember, you want Naruko to continue to like you."

"Oh yeah."

Back at the car Naruto was staring at his sister as though she had grown a second head. "Where did _he _come from?"

"From college," the blonde woman explained, hoisting out one of the duffels in her trunk. "And he's babysitting his younger brother. Sasuke! Get out here!"

"_Hn_," came from within the car, but the back door opened and a smaller black haired boy made his appearance, glaring around indiscriminately.

"Naruto, Sasuke is about your age, so maybe you two can get along well," Naruko smiled at the two boys, then grabbed Itachi's hand and went to greet her parents, who quickly schooled their expressions.

The two boys eyed each other, then Naruto held out his hand. "I don't like my sister dating your brother. Want to break them up?"

A grin crept over Sasuke's features, looking oddly out of place. "Deal." He took the blond's hand and shook it firmly.

The two college students shivered right before they greeted the adults. "_Tou-san, Kaa-san_, this is Uchiha Itachi," Naruko introduced her boyfriend. "Itachi, Senju Tsunade and Gamakawa Jiraiya, my parents. And back there is Sasuke, Itachi's younger brother."

Jiraiya fixed a smile in place as he shook Itachi's hand. "Nice to meet you; would you like to step inside?" He didn't give Itachi time to respond, towing the man inside.

Tsunade placed a friendly arm around her daughter's shoulders, looking at her. "How about we go in and have a chat?" she suggested lightly, beginning to guide the blonde woman inside.

"But the luggage –" Naruko protested, looking back at the car and catching a suspicious image of two boys with their heads quite close together and many gestures.

"The luggage can wait," Tsunade reassured her, then called back to the boys. "Inside!"

Naruto and Sasuke followed the two women obediently, both plotting seriously.

"So," Jiraiya began, looking at Itachi with an almost predatory glare where the black haired man was perched on a chair, "how long have you known Naruko?"

Itachi met his gaze levelly. "Since the beginning of the school year, sir. She lives on my hall."

Jiraiya immediately pounced on that. "She's your neighbor? Do you see her often? After hours?"

No emotion marred Itachi's face. "Yes, she is my neighbor in a manner of speaking. I don't believe I know what you mean by after hours?"

"After midnight."

"Then yes, I see her 'after hours'. Is this strictly necessary?"

A glare was his only response. "Boys only want one thing, and trust me I exactly what that is. So until I approve of you, you can expect worse." The over-protective father mode was in full blast. "Is that boy really your brother, or his he really _your son_?"

Tsunade guided her daughter into the kitchen, sitting her down at the table, and pulling a chair next to the blonde woman.

"How long have you known Itachi?" the mother began, only to break off as Naruto and Sasuke ran in, grabbed a bucket of water, a sponge, and a roll of saran wrap, then ran back out.

"Since the year began," Naruko replied and sighed, resting both elbows on the table and placing her head on her hands. "Is this really necessary? I'm in college now, _kaa-san_."

"I can't have you making the same mistake I did," Tsunade told her, then whipped out another question. "Have you already gone to third?"

Naruko turned beet red, shooting off the table and staring at her mother in mortification. "_No!"_

"I just had to check," Tsunade defended herself, then whipped out a box from nowhere. "When you do…"

Naruko's gaze swiveled between the box and her mother, cheeks growing redder and hotter until she could have glowed in the dark. "_Kaa-san_! Give me some credit!"

She got up and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving behind an oddly reassured Tsunade.

Yanking open the door to her bedroom, she saw Itachi standing inside, staring wide-eyed at something, and followed his gaze.

"Naruto! Sasuke! What did you _do_!" echoed through the house.


	120. Let it Go

Response to dare by Ella Unlimited -

'She had always enjoyed attention, it was something she had loved as a child. She adored it when people cooed when she walked in, or when they praised her over the many accomplishments she'd achieved in her young years. Tsunade was never happier than when she was basking in the limelight; never.  
But this, this wasn't the attention she loved. When everyone was staring at her with pity in their eyes as she walked down the street. The wave of whispers that followed her everywhere she went; even in her own home. Her friends and family tried to talk to her about it, but they couldn't seem to get it in their heads that she didn't have anything to say. Nobody understood. Nobody would [ever] understand.'

Thanks, I needed a dare like this one =)

It's partly AU as you'll notice with part of the situation later

* * *

Let it Go

She had always loved the attention, basked in it, longed for it. She pushed herself to be better, wanting to earn more praise. She was a child prodigy, one of the village's best young _kunoichi_; everybody wanted to be her, to help her.

And now she hated it.

Everywhere she went people looked at her, whispered about her, offered her pity and condolences.

She didn't want them.

Back then she had _earned_ their praises and their gazes, working hard to push her body to the limits and keep up with her teammates, become stronger than them.

What had happened to her was no fault of her own but _his_, and for that the people of Konoha gave her pity.

She couldn't walk the streets without feeling their eyes follow her, couldn't even go in her own home to avoid the looks and the whispers. She would lock herself in her room, staring at nothing or reading a scroll, trying to forget the world outside her door.

She curled around a pillow clutched firmly to her stomach, not even looking up at the knock on her door.

"Tsunade? May I come in?" came the soft voice of her mother, breaking the silence, the blessed silence, that had settled over the room.

A slight hum was her only response, and the door opened slowly, revealing the woman who looked in tentatively.

"Tsunade," she said again, moving over to sit on the bed next to her teenage daughter. One hand crept out to stroke up and down Tsunade's spine, only to withdraw then the blonde girl flinched away. "You should talk about it."

No response but for the teenager clutching the pillow tighter.

A sigh. "You can't keep it bottled up forever, you have to be able to let it go."

"There's nothing to say," Tsunade finally replied, not looking back at her mom.

"How can you say that?" The woman couldn't keep all the exasperation out of her voice. "After what happened to you, what he _did_ to you, any other person – "

"There's nothing to say. Nothing will change, nothing _has_ changed. Why can't you treat me like I'm normal?" Tsunade turned to look at her mom, rage and pleading in her eyes. "Let it die away in the past."

But her mother didn't understand. The public didn't understand. They wanted her to talk about it, to anguish over it, to confide in them. But there was nothing to confide.

Eventually the woman got up, looking down at the girl still laying on her bed. "Just remember, we are here if you want to talk," she told her daughter, and left.

Long after she was gone Tsunade uncurled, turning on her back to look up at the ceiling. It wasn't her fault what had happened, that she had been one of Orochimaru's own experiments.

It wasn't her fault he had impregnated her, determined to breed something out of the Senju genes.

And it certainly wasn't her fault the child had been lost as her body rejected it.

But the public wouldn't let it go, wouldn't let her stop being a victim. The would never understand her feelings on it, wouldn't understand that she had buried it far behind her, she _wouldn't_ let it rule her.

She just wanted to forget it.


	121. Teenagers

Sorry this is so late...^^; I'm home! And therefore slightly (read as hugely) giddy and happy and running around and falling on the floor laughing...so yeah. Those are all detrimental to actually getting a drabble done XD

Anyway, this is a slightly different take on a song drabble, song is "Our Kind of Love" by Lady Antebellum - figured some teenager Tsu/Jir datingness and happiness was needed =)

I hope this goes over well!

* * *

Teenagers

Jiraiya tugged on Tsunade's hand, towing the laughing girl forward. She leapt gracefully across the stream he had run through just moments before, then looked back at their feet. His left wet prints on the sun warmed rock, while hers were invisible.

"C'mon, Tsunade, let loose!" he grinned at her, jumping back into the stream and splashing her playfully.

The blonde girl, rather than shrieking, instead grinned right back and crouched, gathering up a huge handful of water and dropping it over his head.

Not to be outdone, Jiraiya tugged her feet out from under her, and Tsunade fell into the stream with a splash.

_You wear your smile like a summer sky__  
Just shining down on me and you  
I swear your heart is a free bird  
On a lazy Sunday afternoon_

She came up furious and the boy made a break for it, sprinting out of the stream and up onto the warm rocks then grass beyond them, laughter training behind him.

The sopping wet girl followed him, trying to grab him but unable to catch him. Her drenched clothes stuck to her body but she didn't seem to notice, all attention on tackling Jiraiya down into the grass.

_I love the way that you were up for anything__  
Never worried 'bout what people say  
That's right, oh that's right  
What we got is_

"Jiraiya, I'll get you for that!" she proclaimed, just before she feinted to the left and caught his right hand, spinning the white-haired boy around onto the grass.

He didn't let go, pulling her down as well and they rolled over and over down the hill, laughter pushed from their lungs by pure exhilaration.

_Just like driving on an open highway__  
Never knowing what we're gonna find  
Just like two kids, baby, always trying to live it up  
Whoa, yeah, that's our kind of love  
Mm that's our kind of love_

They ran back into the village hand in hand, not caring about the scolding looks, the amused glances that the villagers gave them; or not noticing. The two were lost in their own little world, giggling with each other and pointing out different happenings.

"Look at Aimee trying to catch Sakumo! That poor boy, he'll never escape her," Tsunade grinned devilishly, watching the silver-haired teenager trying to escape his biggest fangirl, who doggedly pursued his footsteps.

"That has something to do with you starting the rumor he had a thing for a certain green haired girl," Jiraiya reminded her, but didn't feel any sympathy for his friend's plight. The guy needed to get a girl.

"Oh yeah," Tsunade giggled, then ran ahead once more, tugging an unresisting Jiraiya along with her.

_Skipping rocks and leaving footprints__  
Down along the riverbank  
Always holding hands, never making plans  
Just living in the moment, babe_

The next stop was a photo booth, where Tsunade poked and prodded a grudging Jiraiya into feeding a few coins into the slot, and pulled him into the booth.

"Smile!" she chirped, then smiled brightly as he pulled the most grotesque face he could. The next one was them wrapped in each other's arms, Jiraiya's head resting on Tsunade's as they both looked at the camera.

Then she was sitting on his shoulders, easily maintaining her balance as he grinned up at her and she down at him; the last was Tsunade tickling Jiraiya, and his laughing face in the foreground.

_You get me laughing with those funny faces__  
You somehow always know just what to say  
That's right, oh that's right  
What we got is_

Jiraiya was the next to take the lead, hoisting Tsunade up on his back and running wildly down the street, dodging civilians as she yelled at him to "Put me down now!"

He was doing fine until she decided to rock the boat per say – she leaned forward then backward, causing him to lose his balance and stumble, releasing Tsunade in the process. With an acrobatic flip she landed on her feet in front of him, a smirk on her face.

"Your turn!" was all that was needed to set him running in the opposite direction, ducking and weaving through shops and throngs, until he spotted something that would make her stop and snatched it from a pen, tossing a few _ryou_ to the owner.

_Just like driving on an open highway__  
Never knowing what we're gonna find  
Just like two kids, baby, always trying to live it up  
Whoa, yeah, that's our kind of love  
That's our kind of love_

"A pig!" Tsunade squealed, stopping cold and cuddling the animal as it was handed to her. "This is the best gift ever, Jiraiya!"

All previous mischievousness and irritation forgotten, she hugged first the animal, then leaned into Jiraiya as he placed his arms around her and kissed him lightly. "Thank you."

He smiled down at her, and rested his head on hers. "You're welcome, _hime_."

_Just like driving on an open highway__  
Never knowing what we're gonna find  
Just like two kids, baby, always trying to live it up  
Whoa, oh  
Just like driving on an open highway  
Never knowing what we're gonna find  
Just like two kids, baby, always trying to live it up  
Whoa, yeah, that's our kind of love_


	122. Reincarnations

I am very aware this is the ending of Naruto ep 141. However, I wanted Tsunade's insight on it as well, and it stuck in my mind until I couldn't get rid of it.

Enjoy - and I hope you like the introspection at the end

* * *

Reincarnations

She wondered how long it would take the girl to work up the courage to approach her. Shikamaru had brought up the same issue she had proposed long ago – that each team should have a medical personnel on it, creating a four person cell.

Back then, she had researched the idea completely, and her results had shown a significant increase in mission completion rates and a severe downturn in injuries – but there were too few medical personnel for it to become reality.

A knock on the door disturbed her concentration, and she called out "Come in," but didn't look up from her paperwork, continuing to move her brush fluidly across the scroll.

A small pink-haired girl entered the room, for once not timid but confident, emerald eyes determined.

Tsunade didn't look up as she approached the desk, even Sakura opened her mouth. "I have a favor to ask."

"What is it?" her hand continued to move over the scroll, portraying a calm indifference she didn't feel.

"Please take me as your apprentice!" The words came out of Sakura in a rush, imbued with emotion.

Tsunade stopped mid-stroke, placing down her brush and folding her hands in front of her mouth.

She was proud of the girl before her, recognizing a portion of herself in Sakura – the burning desire to grow stronger to help her teammates, to no longer see them get hurt. That same affinity for _chakra_ control and precision.

She could almost see Naruto and Sasuke behind Sakura, influencing the girl to become stronger, to belong to a team that was rapidly shooting ahead of her. But instead of laying back and letting fate roll over her, Sakura was taking her destiny into her own hands.

The two faces morphed into Dan and Nawaki, those Tsunade had failed to protect. She swore then and there to herself she wouldn't let Sakura lose Naruto and Sasuke the way Tsunade herself had lost so much.

She would teach the girl to become the best _kunoichi_ she could be, strong enough to protect all those precious to her.

Her red lips widened ever so slightly from their set position – a smile of remembrance, understanding, and trust. _You're desperate too, aren't you? Just as I was. Don't follow in my footsteps, but instead surpass me, and fulfill the dream I could not._

Decision made, Tsunade sat back officially, golden eyes focused solely on the girl in front of her who had withstood her scrutiny.

"Haruno Sakura," she announced, "Kakashi tells me you possess intelligence and courage." A stare-down ensued between the two that Tsunade let continue for a few seconds.

"Very well." She didn't miss the sudden joy that flew over the girl's face at the pronouncement. "But know that I will be harsh."

That didn't faze Sakura; if anything, her determination strengthened, as she immediately assumed an alert stance, prepared for anything that came.

Outside her office Tsunade could sense Jiraiya, perched on the roofing next to her windows. _Did you have something to do with this girl's decision, Jiraiya? _she asked soundlessly, knowing he did. _Did you realize she was just like me, but needed that extra push in the right direction? You and I have more invested in this team than we will ever realize, I think. They are our reincarnations, and we won't let them go wrong._


	123. Generations

Response to dare from addster - Naruto is holding his firstborn for the first time, and he's scared shitless. Tsuande and Jiraiya are there with him, laughing their asses off as he nearly drops his child and scares the poor thing into bawling its eyes out. Tsunade, not wanting her first grandchild ending up like Humpty-Dumpty, shows her son how to hold a baby, and tells him of the times she held him like that, and of course she gets all sappy.

Yah it's short. Also, I won't be home at all tomorrow and therefore there will be no drabble. See you all Sunday

* * *

Generations

Naruto readjusted his arms once more, desperately trying to balance his son in them without dropping the poor child. His blond hair was mussed from the numerous times he had run his hand through it while trying to understand his newborn son.

Tsunade and Jiraiya simply watched from their seats in a corner of the room, laughing heartily as the man's face twisted in confusion and perplexity at the too small body and too long arms.

"Do you think he'll figure it out?" Jiraiya asked his wife, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. It had taken minutes of cajoling and many laughs on the part of the white-haired man to get Naruto to even pick up his son in the first place.

"Of course!" Tsunade reassured him as though she had full confidence in their son. Then she broke into an evil grin. "If he ever figures out how to work that brain he was born with."

Naruto shot a dirty glance over at his two parents, that turned into scared shock as the baby almost fell from his arms. A quick look at his wife reassured him she was still out cold.

Tsunade tutted, getting up and rescuing the boy from his father. "I don't want to see my grandchild with brain damage like you," she scolded her son good-naturedly. "Not that we ever dropped you of course."

"Of course," he mocked, but didn't resist the transfer.

The blond baby boy cooed up at Tsunade and opened his eyes, looking at her curiously. Her heart melted.

"I remember when you would look up at me like this," she told Naruto, not bothering to glance at him, keeping her eyes fixed on the baby whose hand was now reaching out to capture one of the blonde tendrils of hair hanging in front of her face. "You were so cute and would laugh and smile at me all the time. I never wanted to let you go."

"Until you messed your diaper," Jiraiya chimed in from his chair where he lounged comfortably. "Then she couldn't hand you off to me quick enough."

The dark look Tsunade shot him shut him up though.

"You were a handful though," she continued through the interruption. "Always waking up in the wee hours of the morning, screaming bloody murder for food. Always eating," and she sent an affectionate grin at Naruto who simply linked both hands behind his head and smiled cheesily. "That never changed."

"Hey, I have to keep my body going somehow," he retorted, but didn't let the grin fade. Ramen was too good to turn down even in light of a slight.

Tsunade used her fingertip to nudge open one of the boy's hands that had curled, and beamed softly as it gripped her finger firmly. "You did good, Naruto."


	124. To Be Hokage

My apologies. I didn't expect to not be near my computer all day Sunday as well. This was Kaiser969's idea to show portions of Naruto's training to be the _Hokage_ and what is behind it.

Enjoy

* * *

To Be Hokage

Naruto knocked on the door, for once a serious expression adorning his face.

At the brusque "Enter," from inside the room, he pushed one of the leafs open and stepped inside the office.

The blonde woman sitting at the desk inside raised her head to stare at the man in front of her, steepling her fingers on the desk in front of her and resting her chin upon the points. "Are you ready?"

A serious moment passed before he looked directly at her eyes and nodded firmly. "I'm ready."

"This is the first day of your training as the succeeding _Hokage_," Tsunade began formally. "You shall learn everything about the politics of the village, nation, and world, all pertaining paperwork, and how to successfully dispatch teams and _shinobi_ to their greatest effectiveness. Do you understand?"

"_Hai_."

"Then let the day begin." Suddenly all sense of formality was lost as Tsunade rubbed her hands together, cackling with glee. "And the best way to learn about paperwork is to do it yourself!"

"Hey, _Baa-chan_, that's no fair!" Naruto yelped, but took the seat she vacated and began pulling papers towards him as Tsunade stood next to him and described the various sheets and their purposes.

* * *

Not two months later Naruto was sitting in on the council meetings, as well as the meetings Tsunade had with her advisors, mind reeling from the amount of nuances and minor politics that each had to be hashed out.

The people argued back and forth, none giving or taking anything, as Tsunade rubbed at her temples in mental exhaustion. He didn't let her know he had seen the _Hokage_ sneaking _sake_ during a few of the meetings.

However, he was intensely interested in seeing how every decision played off of others and impacted the future – it was like a huge tangled web, with Tsunade sitting at the center twitching different threads to keep the rest of the village running smoothly.

The council members were slowly starting to respect him as well, indirectly asking his input on some decisions, even as they pretended to disregard it.

"It's a good sign," Tsunade reassured him one day when he expressed his thoughts on the matter, lounging back in her chair. "They're starting to see you as a threat or a leader." Her mouth twisted in a wry smile. "Which you are depends on the person."

Naruto had laughed along with her, knowing she was talking about people like Homura and Koharu, as well as Hiashi. The younger generation respected his decisions however.

* * *

Naruto stared at the three people in front of him, his stomach knotting. His first mission dispatch. Sure he had been working with deciding who to be assigned different missions based on strengths and requirements, but this was the first time he had to do it personally.

"Team Asuma," he began, then cleared his throat and adjusted the chair he was sitting on. The team had elected to retain their _sensei's_ name. "You are to complete a Class A mission, consisting of the assassination of one minor Earth noble named Shinsou Kouji. Location is currently in a small village on the outskirts of the country. It's up to you to discover which, and escape unnoticed. Is this clear?"

From the three _jounin_ in front of the _Hokage-_in-training came a simultaneous "_Hai!"_

Slightly unnerved by his power over them, Naruto ran a hand through his hair and nodded decisively. "You are dismissed. Mission commences tomorrow and sunrise."

The three teammates bowed first to Tsunade, who was sitting in a corner observing, then to Naruto. As they turned to leave, Shikamaru shot a glance back at the blond man with a smile. "It took you long enough, try not to screw up. It would be too troublesome to come up with a new _Hokage_ candidate."

Naruto grinned back at him. "I don't plan on it."

* * *

Naruto paced restlessly in front of the many windows lining the back wall of the _Hokage_'s office as Tsunade watched him.

"They'll be back when they finish," she told him, not for the first time – more like the fiftieth. "Trust in your friends."

"I know." An irritated hand ran through blond hair. "But they were due back a week ago! What if they're –" he couldn't finish the thought.

Tsunade sighed, looking at her student with troubled eyes, knowing exactly the pain he was going through. It was part of being _Hokage_. "It's a burden you will have to learn to bear. This village was built on the bodies and sacrifices of others, that is how it survives and grows. If you were in their position, would you do any different than sacrifice your life if necessary?"

His silence was answer enough.

Just then she spotted three travel-stained figures making their way to the _Hokage_ Tower. "Besides, they're back now. So swallow your concern and conduct a full debriefing." She grinned at him, catching his eye and spurring a smile of his own. "And I won't hesitate to correct and embarrass you in front of them if you do it wrong."

His groan of exasperation let her know he had taken the lesson to heart. He would make a good _Hokage_.


	125. Under the Bed

Dare from DarkShadowRaven - A young Naruto finds both of his parent's little dirty secrets like Jiraiya's secret 'dirty' books and magazines and Tsunade's IOU's to gambling and sake bottles and both his parents comically arguing and trying to explain the mature content to their boy at the same time...

Tweaked slightly, but pretty much similar

Oh and congratulations to Ella Unlimited for being the 700th reviewer - if you want anything just ask

Enjoy

* * *

Under the Bed

Tsunade and Jiraiya were sitting companionably in their kitchen when Naruto entered, dragging a brown suitcase behind him and carrying a book in his free hand. "Mom? Dad?"

Both head turned to look at the boy, and one blanched while the other turned bright red.

"Naruto?" Jiraiya asked carefully, keeping his red face carefully straight as his eyes narrowed on the book his son was holding. "What is that?"

"I don't know, I was going to ask you," the boy responded, shrugging and placing it on the table. "I found it."

"Found it where?" The question was calmly phrased, but inwardly Jiraiya was fighting panic. If he had found _that_ book, he must have found the others as well…something he had promised his wife under pain of injury he would never introduce Naruto to.

"In a hole under your bed," Naruto smiled innocently, as though trying to avoid explaining why he had been under there in the first place. Tsunade wouldn't let him get away with it.

She was still pale, but asked him, "What were you doing under our bed in the first place? You know better than to go in there without permission."

Placing the brown briefcase on the table as well, Naruto rubbed at the back of his head sheepishly. "Gama-_chan_ escaped and hopped in there and I chased him. And he went under your bed…so I followed."

Tsunade sighed, rubbing a hand over her face and examining the briefcase to see if it had been opened. It had. _Crap_.

"What are all the slips of paper in there that say 'IOU'?" Naruto turned to his mother quizzically. "They had your name on them."

"Just some notes to remind me," she explained hurriedly, praying he didn't put together the idea it meant "I owe you". "This way I won't forget to write back to the people who gave them to me."

"Oh." He seemed to accept the explanation and Tsunade let out a silent sigh of relief. To be shot out on a hard breath as he spoke once more. "And what are all the white bottles that smell funny? There were a lot of them, and it didn't taste good."

As Tsunade's head thumped down on the table, Jiraiya took over. "Those are medicine for grown-ups," he told his son sagely, pinning him with a glance. "It can be dangerous for children so you shouldn't drink them, okay?"

Naruto made a face. "Medicine doesn't taste any better for grown-ups either? Ewww."

"That's right, so we don't drink it if we don't have to" Jiraiya agreed, and shot another look at the book resting on the table. Luckily it was the _one_ book he had written that wasn't X-rated.

"And I found a bunch of neon books too!" Naruto brightened up as he remembered the other treasures he had discovered. "They had weird people on the front…were they aliens?"

Jiraiya choked as Tsunade raised her head and shot a death glare at her husband. "I _told you_ to throw those horrid things out! See what can happen if you keep them around?"

"Hey, I'm not the only one with skeletons under the bed!" Jiraiya snapped back, turning to face his wife fully and ignored his son. "That whole briefcase of 'notes'!"

"At least I'm _doing_ something about them, you just keep making _more_!"

"They're a form of artwork!"

"Only to those whose brains don't work!"

As his parents continued to argue back and forth, Naruto simply shrugged and left to head back to his room, where one of those neon colored books was waiting. He wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

A horrified shout broke the two adults out of their argument ten minutes later, and Tsunade gave Jiraiya a glare that skinned him alive. "You deal with it."


	126. Better Start Running

You can thank my readings of a couple fics in the past few days for giving me this idea...hope it goes over well and I'll be right on the dares soon =)

Enjoy!

* * *

Better Start Running

Tsunade shifted irritably at her desk, sighing for the fifth time in ten minutes and resting her head on her hands.

She simply _couldn't concentrate_.

Her eyes were drooping despite a full sleep the night before, and exhaustion permeated her bones.

With a groan she let her head drop down onto her desk, forehead thumping against a soft stack of paperwork. The resulting sound brought her assistant hurrying in, sending a worried glance at her mentor.

"Tsunade-_sama_?" Shizune asked, approaching the desk and the prone blonde woman tentatively. "It's only been two hours, and –" she paused, eyeing the desk and sniffing the air, "you haven't even had any _sake_! Are you okay?"

Tsunade waved her left hand in a vague gesture in the general direction of the raven haired woman, but didn't lift her head. "Can I stop for the day?" Even she winced at how pathetic and pitiful her voice sounded, but she really didn't feel as though she could work anymore.

Shizune frowned, mentally running over what she had just heard. Tsunade had never sounded so…_tired._ She wasn't _that_ old was she? Her eyes scanned over her mentor, cataloging the smooth wrinkle-free face, the noticeable bags below the eyes, the weariness present in the gaze. Maybe this was worth a check-up at the hospital…

"Tsunade-_sama_," she cleared her throat, serious eyes meeting Tsunade's when the _Hokage_ looked up at Shizune wearily. "You may have the day off if you accompany me to the hospital."

Tsunade's eyes widened, then her eyebrows drew together, obviously analyzing Shizune's reasons for wanting to go there. But she couldn't come up with anything. "_Why?"_ the blonde woman asked bluntly, still frowning.

Shizune cocked an eyebrow. "The promise of a day off isn't enough to tempt you?"

The rest of the words registered in Tsunade's head and she perked up noticeably. "You're sure?" If Shizune was serious that meant she would get out of a day of work for practically nothing! Definitely worth the trip. The _Hokage_ stood up swiftly, planting both hands on her desk and grinning at her assistant. "Let's go!"

Shizune moved to catch her mentor as the woman swayed slightly, dark eyes definitely worried now. There was no reason for Tsunade to be this weak. Unless the cause was medical.

The trip to the hospital was short, and Tsunade being the _Hokage_ with Shizune as her assistant garnered them a clean room immediately.

Tsunade sat down on the bed, crossing her arms and huffing as Shizune fetched her medical charts. "There's really nothing about me that I don't know already," she informed her assistant pithily, but obligingly leaned back as Shizune pressed lightly on her shoulder.

"Humor me," the shorter woman replied, and began running her _chakra_ coated hands down Tsunade's body, an inch above the woman's clothing. She searched for any irregularities in the system, any hints of fighting off an illness, or even just cell decay with age.

But when she was halfway through…Shizune's eyes popped open, but she didn't let Tsunade know of her alarm, finishing the scan in case she was mistaken.

She worked her way back up at the same pace, a smile growing on her lips as her idea was confirmed, until the raven was all out grinning.

"What's that smirk for?" Tsunade asked suspiciously as her assistant raised her eyes to look at the _Hokage_.

"I believe congratulations are in order," Shizune almost sang, and backed out of immediate physical range.

"Congratulations?" Tsunade's mind worked at a furious pace, connecting the sense of _chakra_ running through her body with Shizune's glee, and her final words. "What do you mean congratu –" A quick _chakra_ pulse through her own body revealed exactly what Shizune was talking about. "No way. No way no way no way!"

"I'd guess seven more months to go," Shizune told her mentor, almost deliriously happy and with a silly grin on her face. Then as Tsunade started up off the table and stalked towards her, she added, "I'm not the one to blame for this, I just discovered it!"

The _Hokage_ stopped stock still, face setting and turned to face the window. "No. But I know who is." Fists clenched, she tried to restrain herself, but couldn't. "_Jiraiya!"_ the blonde woman roared, voice shaking the hospital. "You better start running, you sorry piece of pervert! Because when I catch you there will be hell to pay!"

In the room Shizune collapsed against the wall, a stream of giggles issuing from her mouth. Maybe this would be good for Tsunade.


	127. Don't Be Poking Fingers

So this is a continuation off of the last drabble, Better Start Running. The idea was just too good and I immediately had a few different ideas on how to extend it, so there will be two more drabbles relating to the topic after this one. =) Think of it as a story-drabble-chain? XD

Enjoy!

* * *

Don't Be Poking Fingers

The moment Tsunade had escaped her assistant at the hospital – which was after a complete physical check up to ensure her health – she went hunting.

She found her white-haired pervert lounging in a tree, conveniently placed over a river, and scribbling furiously.

He never heard her coming.

The first warning Jiraiya received was his tree tilting alarmingly, and he executed a graceful flip out of it, landing on his feet as his previous perch fell with a resounding crash behind him. "What was that for?" the sage asked the blonde woman in front of him calmly, observing her still extended fist.

Tsunade pulled back her arm, blowing lightly across her knuckles to dislodge any dust upon them, and grinned fiercely at Jiraiya. "Start running."

"Wha –" The man dodged quickly as a crater appeared where he had been standing. "Hey, what gives?"

Tsunade whipped around, blonde hair flying out behind her and punched again, this time taking down the tree directly behind Jiraiya. "Your fault."

"_What's_ my fault?" he asked, exasperated at her hitting without explaining.

"This!" and Tsunade made a vague gesture at her stomach. Jiraiya stared at it in puzzlement, unable to figure out what she was referring to.

Seeing his confusion, Tsunade paused in her fury and elaborated. "_You got me pregnant!_" Just hearing the words again sparked her temper, and she hit at the larger man again.

But this time Jiraiya was too stunned to dodge. He took the blow full in the ribs, flying back a few feet to hit the tree behind him with a _thump_. "Pregnant?" he squeaked, eyes fixated on her navel.

"Yes, and it's _all your fault_!" Tsunade approached him fighting to keep reign on her temper. "You seduced me into this, and didn't adequately prepare yourself!"

Now Jiraiya cocked an eyebrow. "It takes two to tango, and who's the medical specialist here? Don't tell me you don't know a _jutsu_ to prevent it?"

The looking down of her eyes told him well enough. "You really don't know one?"

"I never thought I'd _need_ one," she retorted, heat flooding her face. "I didn't count on you coming out of nowhere and _seducing me_!"

Her finger jabbed forward and hit him in the ribs. "Because of _you_, I'm now nearly three months pregnant with a kid I never expected to have! I'm the _Hokage_! How on _earth_ am I supposed to have the time to raise a kid and do my job?" Her finger shot forward a few more times, hitting him harder and harder as she lost control of her _chakra_.

"Tsunade?" the white-haired man finally managed to choke out, eyes wide. "You know, what with pregnancy being a long term thing, perhaps we can worry about that later and my ribs now?"

She stopped in her rant, eyebrows knitting as her eyes took in the man in front of her. He was pale and clasping a hand over his…ribs…exactly where…she had been poking…

"I think you broke my ribs," he gasped, leaning back against the tree for support. "I'm all for being there for you and the kid, but I have to be alive for that first!"

Tsunade blushed pink with embarrassment and grabbed Jiraiya, taking off for the hospital. But she didn't apologize.

"Back so soon?" Shizune asked her mentor as the blonde woman walked through the door carrying her burden. "Were you able to find – what did you do to him?" Her question changed the moment she spotted the white-haired man with his arm draped over Tsunade's shoulder for support.

"She broke my ribs," Jiraiya grinned at Shizune weakly, and gestured to the blonde woman. "I think she's mad."

The raven stifled a chuckle and signaled for one of the medics to bring a stretcher. "Well it is your fault."

"Not only!" Jiraiya pouted, crossing his arms only to hiss as the action jarred his ribs.

Shizune's raised eyebrow stopped his protests. "It's _always_ the man's fault," she advised the sage, shooting a glance at Tsunade. "Keep that in mind." Then he was rolled away for treatment.

Shizune immediately turned to her mentor, a large smirk on her features. "You broke his ribs?" she asked mischievously. Tsunade refused to look at her.

"I can't _wait_ to tell Naruto and Sakura!" the assistant began rubbing her hands together, only to stop as the buxom _Hokage_ shot a death glare at her.

"What?" The tone was menacing.

"You think they won't find out exactly what happened to their respective mentors? I'm going to have to film this!"

Shizune ducked her mentor's punch and ran out the hospital doors laughing.

"This is more trouble than it's going to be worth," Tsunade muttered to herself and slumped down onto the bench behind her.


	128. Students Hit the Floor

So enter the third continuation of the..._Hokage_ Pregnancy Series? *Thinks* Hmmmm. Uhh...any suggestions for a different title? O.O There will be at least two, maybe three other parts to this, so keep your eyes open and laughs ready!

Let the students hit the floor!

* * *

Students Hit the Floor

Tsunade rubbed at her temples with fingers that ached to close around something larger than a pen. "Send them in."

"Are you sure?" Shizune asked her mentor, worried about the stress evident in the _Hokage_'s posture.

"Yeah," the blonde woman sighed, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes. "It has to be done eventually anyway, and the sooner the better. Send them in."

Shizune nodded and made her way to the door, sticking her head outside of one of the wooden leaves. "You can come in now."

Naruto came bounding in, followed more sedately by Sakura, who had her hands clasped in front of her body. "You called for us, _shishou?_"

"What gives, _baa-chan_?" Naruto butted in, not letting Tsunade answer. "_Nee-chan_ wouldn't tell us why we're here!" He sent a glare at Shizune who met it levelly.

"That is for Tsunade-_sama_ to tell you," she rebuked the boy, who simply grinned at her.

"So, _shishou?_" Sakura broke the silence, taking in her mentor's weary eyes, slumped posture, and…dry amusement? "Why are we here?"

"I called you two here, because believe it or not," Tsunade paused to draw a breath, "and I still don't quite believe it myself…"

"Spit it out_, baa-chan_!" Naruto interjected, placing both hands on the desk and staring at the woman.

Tsunade rolled her eyes and glared up at the exuberant blond. "As I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me, it has come to my attention that I'm pregnant."

There were two seconds of stunned silence, then Naruto's loud "_Nani!"_ echoed out of the office.

Sakura's eyes narrowed on her mentor as Naruto began pacing behind her, throwing his hands in the air and random gibberish emanating from his mouth. "You're positive?"

The blonde woman's eyebrow raised caustically, and she pinned Sakura with a wry look. "I am the best medical master in the world, Sakura. What do you think?"

Sakura bit her tongue sharply, then shot a glance over at Shizune, who was fighting a smile as she watched Naruto express his surprise. "You knew too?"

"I discovered it," Shizune grinned, then turned back to Naruto. "If you keep pacing like that, you'll wear a hole in the carpet."

The blond boy stopped abruptly, and turned to face Tsunade. "Who, how, what, when…gah!" Again his hands flew into the air helplessly, before landing on his head. "This isn't _right_!"

Tsunade let out a chuckle, leaning back in her chair. "If you need me to answer the how and what, you obviously haven't been paying attention."

Naruto's face flushed bright red as he realized what she was referring to. "Nooooo," he hastily told her, waving his hands in front of his face. "That's just…nooooo. But _who?_"

"Yes, _shishou_, who?" Sakura was just as curious as her teammate, pushing aside the slight medical mystery of a fifty-some year old woman becoming pregnant. In their world, anything was possible.

Now it was Tsunade's turn to color a dull red, and she placed both elbows on her desk, burying her face in her hands. "Um…"

Now Naruto's face lit up with glee at the prospect of twisting the answer out of the _Hokage_. "C'mon, _baa-chan_, you can't keep this secret from us!" He turned to the _Hokage's_ assistant who was trying to act very inconspicuous. "How about you, _nee-chan_? Do you know?"

Shizune shot a glance at Tsunade, who looked back with resigned eyes and nodded.

"_Hai_," the raven responded, and edged towards the door a bit further. "And it is…" she paused for effect, as well as to secure her escape route. "Jiraiya-_sama_." Then she shot out the door so as to preserve her eardrums.

Naruto's _"NANIIII!"_ shook the _Hokage _Tower itself.

Sakura collapsed heavily onto the floor in front of Tsunade, the news of the father doing what news of the pregnancy couldn't – completely stunning the pinkette. "Y-You're positive?" she squeaked out, looking up at her mentor with wide eyes.

Irony laced Tsunade's voice. "Yes, quite."

Naruto pointed a quivering finger at Tsunade, mouth wide and eyes disbelieving. "You…and him…and that…" the finger moved in the general direction of her stomach. It was too much for the poor blond, and he promptly keeled over.

Tsunade simply sighed as Sakura scrambled to check her teammate. "I knew this was going to happen," she muttered to herself under her breath. "I can just imagine his reaction when he actually sees the kid."


	129. Just a Stomach Bug

Enter the fourth installment of the drabble-continuation! Thank you so much for title suggestions, however a few of them may not fit after you read this one ;P I have two more ideas after this one, and then it will stop unless there is one more inspiration that _must_ be included. =)

I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Just a Stomach Bug

"Shizune?" Tsunade repeated for the third time, trying to get her assistant's attention. The woman had become quite unresponsive, the oddest expression adorning her face. "Shizune?"

With a shake of her head, the raven looked at her mentor, eyes still slightly vacant. "_Hai_, Tsunade-_sama_?"

"Are you feeling okay?" the pregnant _Hokage_ asked, concerned for Shizune's health. She had only found out about being pregnant a week ago, and if her assistant was becoming ill – well, it wouldn't be a fun few weeks.

"Uh…I'm feeling…fine," Shizune answered, looking distracted as she frowned and her eyes moved away. "Perhaps a touch of stomach illness."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed upon the smaller woman, taking in her pale color and almost green tint. "Perhaps a touch? You are trained in the medical field as well, Shizune, perhaps you would be able to make a more concise diagnosis?"

The woman flushed, red stark against her otherwise white face, and mumbled something.

"What was that?" Tsunade asked, sure she had heard a few words interspaced.

"I don't have the kind of _chakra_ control at the moment to do such tests on my body," Shizune repeated, not meeting her mentor's golden eyes.

"Then allow me to do it for you," the green clad woman replied firmly, standing up from her desk.

Shizune looked up startled, before shock overtook her features and she darted from the room, a hand clasped over her mouth.

Tsunade stared first at the place the raven had been sitting, then at the door in puzzlement. "A minor stomach bug my ass." She got up as well, making her way to the bathroom she knew Shizune would be at.

Sure enough the smaller woman was crouched over a toilet, wiping her mouth on her sleeve. "Tsunade-_sama_, you didn't have to –" she began, only to be cut off as Tsunade crouched beside her, balancing perfectly on her heeled shoes.

"Shut up and let me scan you." Her voice was strict, but with an undertone of concern. "Can't have you getting sick right before the work starts piling up after all."

Shizune let out a small chuckle at that even as she sat back against the wall.

"This shouldn't hurt," Tsunade advised her assistant, placing both hands on Shizune's black clad shoulders. "If it does, there's something worse wrong with you."

The _Hokage_ sent her _chakra_ through Shizune's system, tendrils branching off to follow down her arms, hands, legs, and feet, while the rest remained in her torso. "No way," she breathed.

"What?" Shizune asked irritably, looking at the blonde woman leaning over her. "It's just a stomach bug!"

The buxom woman sat back on her heels, a grin beginning to spread over her features, and Shizune didn't like that grin, not one bit. "What?" she asked again.

"Looks like I'm not the only one to have a little surprise," Tsunade sang, triumphant grin growing almost impossibly wider.

"What do you mean?" the smaller woman asked, standing up to glare down at her mentor. "What surprise?" Then her eyes fixated on Tsunade's stomach. "No way, no no no…"

"Yup!" the _Hokage_ gloated, fluidly rising from her crouched position. "You're pregnant too!" Then she had to move to catch her assistant as the raven fainted dead away. "She took the news worse than I did…"


	130. Unexpected Interrogation

Here is the fifth part of the...*still untitled series!* I really have to choose one of those suggestions, or come up with one. XD Any others? =)

So I babysat a 2 month old last night for 8 hours...let me say, eyeopener.

If anyone gets the double meaning behind the title, feel free to take a guess =D

Enjoy!

* * *

Unexpected Interrogation

"So, Shizune," Tsunade's smile was predatory as she advanced towards the bed her assistant had been restricted to since her fainting incident. Shizune had been put on a day's worth of bed rest so as to be sure she was fine. "Who is the father?"

"Yes, who?" Jiraiya chimed in from his position behind the blonde woman as he pulled up a chair next to the bed.

Shizune looked up from the medical text she had been reading, raising an eyebrow at the pair. "What do you mean, who?"

"Well, we haven't heard of you dating anybody, or even having a social life," Tsunade explained bluntly, ignoring the flush of red that spread across Shizune's cheeks at the slight dig. "So spill."

"Why should I tell you?" the raven retorted, pushing herself up higher in her bed and closing the book on her lap. "Then you would just have more dirt on me."

"I told you mine," Tsunade wheedled, pointing a thumb back at Jiraiya who was lounging in the chair, scribbling furiously in a notebook. "Stop that," she ordered him, snatching the papers from him and skimming through them absently before whipping around to glare at him. "This _isn't_ the time! I thought you agreed to help me get the man's name!"

Jiraiya simply shrugged. "Who can say when inspiration shall strike?" Then he winced as Tsunade ripped the journal in half. "I _really _wish you wouldn't do that."

The blonde woman ignored him, focusing her attention back on the smaller woman in the bed. "C'mon, he has to at least be in this village right?"

Shizune remained stubbornly silent, setting her lips and glaring mulishly at her _Hokage_.

"You haven't been out of Konoha in the past year, so he has to be," Tsunade mused to herself. "_Shinobi_ or civilian?"

"Definitely _shinobi_," Jiraiya chimed in, leaning forwards. "Look at how her eyes flickered when you said it."

Inwardly Shizune cursed, but didn't let any of her irritation show on her face. "Question all you want, I'm not going to tell you."

"Why _not?_" Tsunade asked petulantly, sounding for all the world like a five year old who didn't get their way, rather than a fifty-something year old woman who was going to have a child of her own.

"Because it's none of your business!" the assistant exclaimed, exasperated. "Nowhere in my contract does it say you have to know every detail of my personal life?"

"Not even as a friend?" the _Hokage_ whined. "Or as a pregnancy buddy?" Then all three sets of eyes snapped open wide at the last description. "Ohhh…"

"Can we forget you ever said that?" Jiraiya requested weakly, staring at Tsunade's abdomen. "Take this a day at a time…" Shizune nodded her agreement.

"Back to the topic at hand," Tsunade swiftly tried to change to subject. "Old or young? ANBU, _jounin, chuunin_? I doubt you would go for a _genin_. But who knows?" She grinned evilly as Shizune frowned at the mere idea. "Just messing with you."

"ANBU," answered the interrogated, rolling her eyes and pulling the sheet over her further up her body. "Just to keep you from getting an ideas."

"Information!" Tsunade crowed, shooting a victorious glance at her 'partner-in-crime'. "We're getting closer."

The white-haired man leaned forward, clasping his hands and resting his elbows on his knees. "Deployed, stationed, or patrol? Interrogation, espionage, combat?"

Shizune neither shook nor nodded her head, staring down the toad sage. "Nothing more."

"Aw, _come on_! I told you mine!" Tsunade repeated, frustrated.

"If you mean by telling me you screamed his name to the entire hospital then proceeded to hunt him down and break his ribs, yes I suppose you did tell me," Shizune replied equably. "But that doesn't mean I have to reciprocate."

The conversation was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Come in," Shizune called, frowning slightly.

The door opened to reveal Morino Ibiki, the head of the ANBU Torture and Interrogation Unit, standing there with his arms crossed.

"Ibiki?" Tsunade questioned, bewildered as to why the man was there. He had no reason to visit Shizune unless… "Can we help you?"

"I need to speak with Shizune-_san_," the large man rumbled, eyes revealing nothing. "Alone."

The blonde woman would have protested, except that Ibiki wasn't known for visiting to exchange pleasantries, and not everything in the village regarding ANBU was immediately known to the _Hokage_. "Let's go, Jiraiya."

Jiraiya stood up and followed his leader out of the room, stopping to pick up the two pieces of his journal. "What was that about?"

"Who knows?" Tsunade responded, shrugging. "With Ibiki, the answer is never clear."

"Do you think he's…" the white-haired man began, looking contemplatively at the closed door.

Tsunade quirked an eyebrow, then waved her hand dismissively. "Nah. Could you even see the two of them together?"


	131. New Arrivals

Wow, ended up longer and a bit more indepth than I had expected. Anyway, this is the last installment of the...*still not titled!* drabble series. I plan on posting them separately into a different story once I decide on a title, if anyone wants to go back and read them for kicks. =)

I hope you enjoy the conclusion of this series! And tomorrow I shall get back on those dares ^^;

Oh and to those who were trying to guess who Shizune's man is...that is a secret that shall never be revealed =D *laughs evilly* Unless you have a very nice bribe of course ;P

* * *

New Arrivals

Tsunade growled and shifted, determined to get comfortable with her cumbersome body. Not for the first time did she envy her assistant who was barely showing her pregnancy, even though they were both almost due. It wasn't _fair _Shizune hadn't had to change clothes at all during her pregnancy, while Tsunade had to go shopping every two months. "_Why_ did I let this happen to me again? She asked rhetorically, not even giving Shizune time to register the question as she answered herself. "Oh that's right I didn't. It's all _Jiraiya's_ fault!"

Shizune set her lips to prevent the smile that threatened to spread across her face, and simply nodded, knowing better than to disagree with her _sensei _when she was uncomfortable. It made for a very sharp temper.

The blonde woman stood up and stretched, her stomach a ball pushed out in front of her by the movement. She then immediately retracted, one hand going to the bottom of the swell as she winced, and the other hand going to her lower back. "Stupid twinges…"

Shizune's eyes shot over to her mentor at that, head whipping around. "Twinges? Where and how frequently?" she asked, immediately snapping into medical mode.

Tsunade looked slightly surprised, but answered concisely. "In my back and abdomen, and about every ten minutes or so."

Shizune swiftly cataloged the information, and came up with a prognosis. "You're in the early stages of labor! Tsunade-_sama_, you should get to the hospital –"

"I know I am," the _Hokage_ cut in smoothly. "I trained you after all."

Shizune's mouth snapped closed as she stared at her mentor. "Then…why are you still…why didn't you…"

"Take advantage of my condition to slack off work?" Tsunade chuckled even as Shizune nodded weakly. "Because I actually thought this through. If I take off work now, I'll just have more after I get out of the hospital when I'm cranky and tired – more so – than usual. When the contractions become more severe, then I shall move to the hospital." She winced again and Shizune could _see_ the muscles of her stomach ripple. "Such as now."

"Perhaps we should place the work on hold for the rest of the day," Shizune suggested, getting up, stomach barely noticeable for all she was nearly due, and walked over to where her mentor was scowling at the pain.

"Yes," the _Hokage_ growled out, clutching at the green fabric over her abdomen. "To the hospital." She didn't protest the raven's hands pulling her arm across the smaller woman's shoulders, nor the wheelchair called for her once they reached the hospital not far away. "Get Jiraiya."

Shizune snapped her gaze to one of the orderlies, who bowed immediately and ran out of the room, searching for the other _sannin_.

"Now…" the assistant began, turning back to her patient. "This may take a while."

* * *

Shizune sat in the chair outside the labor and delivery room, exhausted. It had been a relatively fast labor given her _sensei's_ age, but twelve hours on her feet at nearly ten months pregnant was quite tiring. And there was that lower back pain that had plagued her.

Disregarding the pain, she re-entered the room, taking in the sight of Jiraiya nursing his hand in a corner while Tsunade gazed down at a pink-wrapped bundle in her arms. "Tsunade-_sama_, we'll have to take her soon to get measurements and…" she trailed off as golden eyes raised to gaze into her own dark ones.

"I know." The woman's voice was husky from screaming and…emotion. "But…" The sentence went unfinished as Tsunade looked back down at the child in her arms. "You'll see." She took in Shizune's posture and the expression playing across her features as pain shot through her back, and grinned. "Sooner rather than later I think."

Shizune looked at her mentor quizzically, then her eyes widened as she understood at the same time pain lanced through her abdomen. "No way."

"Yup! You'd better prepare yourself, because you just saw first-hand what it's going to be like," Tsunade told her student gleefully and not a little maliciously. "And you'll learn exactly how much you want to punch whoever says 'It's almost over, just one more push!' ten times."

Shizune rolled her eyes, only to hiss with pain as the muscle band across her stomach tightened harshly.

"Wheelchair!" Tsunade called from her position sitting up in the bed, and watched as a nurse hurried in. "She's in labor."

"Please sit, Shizune-_sama_," the nurse told the raven seriously, then glared when she wouldn't immediately. "Now."

"You better visit me when you get out!" Tsunade called from her position in the bed, even as another nurse came in to take the newborn from her.

* * *

Ten long hours later, Shizune whole-heartedly agreed with Tsunade regarding the phrase 'just one more push!'. There had been sixteen 'one more pushes', not that she had been counting.

Her son had been taken away from her ten minutes after being born, to be placed in an incubator in the neonatal unit next to Tsunade and Jiraiya's daughter. From what she had seen, he took after both she and his father, who couldn't appear at the birth for a few reasons.

Two nurses came into her room and began wheeling her bed out. "Where are you taking me?" Shizune asked curiously, watching the halls go by. Too often she had been the one moving people, rather than being moved. It was a rather nice change.

"Tsunade-_sama_ has asked you be moved into her room as well," the nurse on the left replied, as they took a sharp turn and entered the room Shizune had left not half a day ago.

When she had a chance to look around, Shizune was surprised to see both Naruto and Sakura in the room as well, cooing over two incubators – two?

"Tsunade-_sama_?" the woman asked, pointing to where the two teenagers stood. "What are they doing in here?"

"Naruto and Sakura, or the babies?" the blonde asked placidly, looking over. "I asked for them to be moved in here, and of course those two showed up the moment your kid was born."

"Of course," Shizune muttered under her breath, although secretly she was pleased that they cared so much.

"_Nee-chan_, he's so cute!" Naruto exclaimed, turning around from the incubators to greet the new arrival.

"Who's his father?" Tsunade asked for the umpteenth time, as she had been doing for the past six months.

Still Shizune shook her head and grinned, not deigning to answer. "You'll find out soon enough."

In the incubators, the two children both stirred at the noises, turning towards each other sleepily, as though they knew the other was there even through the glass. The hearts of every person in the room melted at the sight.

"Think they'll be friends?" Shizune asked quietly, eyes not leaving the incubators.

"Of course," Tsunade replied just as softly, rare emotion suffusing her tone. "We won't let them be anything but."


	132. Wedding Day Nerves

Well, after six days of drabble series, we are back to the dares and kicking it off with one from Ella Unlimited! - Naruto and Hinata's wedding day. The weather is beautiful, the sun is shining, the cake is made, the guests are ready- but the bride isn't. Hinata has a breakdown just before her walk down the isle, and people are beginning to talk. Tsunade and Hinata have a bride-to-mother-in-law talk before poor Hinata dies of fright. What does Tsunade say to make Hinata feel better? Will the wedding go on?

Oh and have people seen the new account interface? What do you think of it? I don't like it nearly as much as the old one...

Enjoy!

* * *

Wedding Day Nerves

Hinata smoothed her hands down her intricate wedding _kimono _one more time, looking nervously into the mirror. "I don't think I can do this." Her lips formed the words soundlessly as she watched her reflection, reading her own doubts.

She was going to marry the love of her life, Uzumaki Naruto, and…she couldn't bring herself to move away from the mirror and leave the room she stood in to walk down the aisle.

She was already late, Naruto standing at the altar.

Tsunade looked around as people began to whisper and murmur about the absence of the bride and Naruto standing nervously alone at the front of the room.

The blonde woman frowned lightly, and caught her 'son's' eye, jerking her head towards the back of the room. His light nod of agreement was all she needed before she got up and walked towards the exit; her mission – hunt down Hinata and see what was taking her so long.

It didn't take any searching to locate the woman – Hinata was standing exactly where Tsunade had left her, in front of the mirror in the dressing room.

"Hinata?" she asked quietly, knocking on the doorframe of the room, and watching as the blue-haired woman jumped in surprise.

"Tsunade-_sama_!" Hinata yelped, distraught eyes flicking towards the _Hokage_ then back to the mirror. "I…" she couldn't continue, not sure what she wanted to say.

"What's the matter?" The buxom woman got to the point as blunt as always, watching as her future 'daughter'-in-law blushed bright red and looked down, pushing her fingers together.

"I-I-I…" she swallowed, then looked up at the imposing woman behind her, meeting eyes in the mirror sorrowfully. "I'm not good enough."

A puzzled frown made its way onto Tsunade's face as she tried to figure out what Hinata meant. "Explain."

"I'm not pretty, or strong-willed, or outgoing," Hinata began, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "Naruto-_kun_ deserves someone like him, someone that…"

She trailed off as Tsunade took two steps towards her, reaching out to turn Hinata towards her and placing both hands on the shorter woman's shoulders – taking care not to disturb the lines of the _kimono_.

"Now I know that's not true," she rebuked, staring straight into the Hyuuga's pale eyes. "You're beautiful – just by looking into the mirror you should be able to see that – you became a _kunoichi_ through every hardship placed upon you, and you may not be outgoing, but you are certainly determined. And even if those weren't true," she paused and Hinata gasped, "you're kind, considerate, and friendly. I don't believe there's a single person in this village who doesn't like you. And all of that pales in significance to the simple fact - you make him _happy_. That is all I can ask for him."

Somewhere in Tsunade's speech Hinata's eyes began to overflow, and Tsunade pulled a handkerchief from her overcoat, wiping gently at the tears. "Don't cry now, or all of our work to put on this make up will have been for nothing," she admonished the younger woman gently.

"B-But…I'm sorry," Hinata sniffed, valiantly trying to stem the tears. "I…"

"Hush. Naruto is out there right now waiting for _you_, no one else," the _Hokage_ told her, spinning Hinata around once more. "The woman there in the mirror. Just you. Think of how happy he'll be when you walk out. And how happy _you_ will be."

As Hinata pictured the scene, a small smile grew on her face until it lit her whole countenance with an inner beauty.

"Good. Now I'm going to go back outside, then _you_ will make your appearance." Tsunade turned to leave the dressing room, then just outside the door poked her head back. "Oh, and Hinata?"

"_Hai_ Tsunade-_sama_?" the blue-haired bride asked, smoothing her hands over her _kimono _once more.

"If you _don't _show up, I'll have to take drastic measures for breaking my boy's heart."

Despite the threat, Hinata smiled with joy.

And when she walked down the aisle to her would-be-husband, it was exactly as she had dreamed.


	133. Game Night

Dare from DarkShadowRaven -Jiraiya and Tsunade talk about their kids relationships. (Naruto is 16, Naruko is 19) Naruto is dating Hinata, Naruko is dating Itachi. They feel they haven't been good examples of parenting with Jiraiya's books and Tsunade's gambling. So, they decide to have a family game night to prove that they can be good parents. The siblings are reluctant knowing that the family is very competitive. That night, they play charades and make teams Tsunade-Naruto-Hinata vs. Jiraiya-Naruko-Itachi). Then the chaos starts (even the kids) with cheating, screaming, accusations, all with the conclusion of the police at their doors...

Enjoy!

* * *

Game Night

"C'mon, it'll be fun!" Jiraiya cajoled, looking at his two children and their respective boy/girl-friends. "Just one night…"

"Why?" Naruko crossed her arms, scowling at her father. "We have – had thanks to you – _plans. _And why do you want to have a family game night anyway?"

From his position next to Hinata, Naruto piped up, "They're obviously feeling bad for their vices and want to prove to us that we can be a good family as well."

"That's not it!" Tsunade immediately protested, glaring at her sixteen year old son. "We just haven't sat down together for a while, and this would help us grow closer. And we could get to know Hinata and Itachi better," she added, glancing at the two.

"But what I said before is true," Naruto countered, grinning triumphantly when she blushed slightly. "I knew it!"

"Why do we have to do game night anyway?" Naruko asked, sitting back and grabbing Itachi's hand. "Or don't you remember the _last_ time we did something like this?"

"Hey, that was a onetime occurrence!" Jiraiya defended, waving his hands in front of his body defensively.

"What happened last time?" Itachi spoke up, voice in his normal monotone, but with a slight question at the end.

"We got a noise violation and Dad got thrown in jail," Naruto supplied, shooting a smile at his girlfriend when she let out a small exclamation.

"Hn."

"Well, we won't know unless we try!" Tsunade was determinedly cheerful as she got up and walked towards the couch the four teenagers were sitting on. "So let's play charades!"

"What's in it for us?" Naruko asked, tugging on her blonde hair.

Rather than say it out loud, her mother whispered something in Naruko's ear, and a wide grin grew across her face. "Deal!"

"Hey, what do I get?" Naruto whined, even as Hinata squeezed his hand.

"Naruto-_kun_, maybe we should just – "

"You get a week of ramen," Jiraiya interrupted, and his son immediately stopped protesting.

"Game on!"

"Okay, teams will be Jiraiya, Naruko, Itachi, versus Naruto, Hinata, and I," Tsunade announced, grabbing a pad of paper and a pen. "Rules are whichever team guesses the answer first gets the point, and goal is twenty points. Category is…movies!"

"I want to go first, I want to go first!" Naruto immediately began chanting as Hinata turned red and buried her face in her hands.

"Naruto-_kun_…"

"Sure, sure," Jiraiya acquiesced, and the blond teenager immediately shot up to stand in front of the group.

He held out two fingers officially, and waited as Itachi said "Two words."

One finger. "First word," Naruko supplied. Two fingers crossed with two other fingers. "Two syllables." One finger tapped on his arm. "First syllable."

With a wide grin Naruto nodded, then began. He punched at the air, then kicked, spun, and punched again, throwing one arm up in what looked like a block.

"Karate!"

"Tae Kwon Do!"

"Martial Arts!" The guesses began. Naruto stopped, rolled his eyes, shook his head, then nodded.

"Jujitsu! Wrestling!"

Again Naruto stopped, and this time held out two fingers. "Second word," Hinata commented. Again two crossed fingers, then one finger tapping on his arm. "Two syllables, first syllable."

He began moving his hands in a forward movement, as though scooping at something and flipping it into the air.

"Baseball? Catch! Ball! Scoop!" He pretended to drop something in the general area in front of his other hand, wave it in a circle.

"Pan!" Tsunade shouted, to be immediately rewarded by Naruto's finger pointing at her and several groans from the rest of the players.

Two fingers on his arm. "Second syllable!"

Naruto shot forward to stand behind his father, pointing with both index fingers at Jiraiya, almost jabbing him.

"White! Old!" Naruko earned a glare for that epithet. "Dad?" Fierce nodding. "Da!"

"Panda!" Hinata crowed, and Naruto let out a loud "Yes!"

"No fair, he spoke!" Naruko jumped on the lapse, not a little annoyed the other team was getting everything right.

"It didn't have anything to do with the answer!" Tsunade argued back.

"Doesn't matter, instant disqualification!" Jiraiya supported his daughter. Itachi stayed wisely out of the battle.

"Just because you're being sore losers – "

"We aren't sore losers, we're just being fair!"

"We haven't even guessed the answer yet!"

The voices continued to rise, until Hinata was sure the windows were vibrating. Naruto had jumped into the argument as well, his role as the charade-er forgotten.

Everything stopped when they heard sirens and a loud rap on their door.

"Not again," Naruko breathed, grabbing Itachi's hand and making for the stairs. "_You two_ handle this."

Naruto followed his big sister's example, getting his girlfriend and going into the kitchen. "Your idea."

Tsunade rolled her eyes, but grabbed her husband by the back of his shirt and walked towards the door, making sure to look well put together as she opened it.

"Officer, is there a problem?" she asked sweetly, as she started at the man in front of her.

"Not at all, ma'am," the officer told her, slightly puzzled. "Should there be?"

"No, no," Jiraiya quickly jumped in, placing both hands on his wife's shoulders. "We were just wondering what brought you by."

The man held out a small device, telling the couple "This was dropped off at the precinct – the address in it placed it as belonging to Senju Naruko."

"Oh…thank you," Tsunade managed, taking the phone.

"That will be all." With a slight bow the officer turned and walked away, leaving two stunned parents in the doorway. Jiraiya shut the door, turning to his wife and seeing the relief in her eyes as well.

Then both turned towards the stairs and yelled "Naruko!"


	134. Life and Times

This was of a dare from Ella Unlimited - Did you ever wonder about the deepest darkest secrets of the famous Naruto characters? What's with Naruto's love for ramen? Why did Tsunade spend the night at Jiriya's before she left Konoha? Why does Sakura have that shrine of Sauske in her room? Where does Sasuke even live! It's all in the Life and Times of Naruto Characters!

I did them in four installments that connect lightly =) If you want an elaboration on any of them...mostly the first or second ^^; just ask

Enjoy!

* * *

Life and Times

"Jiraiya?" Tsunade called, knocking once more on his door. "Jiraiya are you in there?"

"Tsunade?" he asked groggily, opening the door and frowning at her. "Why are you here? It's nearly midnight!"

"I know…" she trailed off, running a hand through her loose blonde hair. "Just…can I come in?"

"Sure, sure," he mumbled, stepping aside to let her through.

They stood in awkward silence in his front room for a time, looking at each other.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," Tsunade said abruptly, breaking the stand-off. "For good."

"What?" Jiraiya stared at her. "What do you mean for good?"

She avoided his eyes, picking at her sleeve. "I'm leaving Konoha for good. I'm not coming back Jiraiya. And you can't convince me out of it."

He closed his eyes, putting a lid on his emotions and letting out a long breath. "Okay."

"That's it? Okay?" She had expected more of a fight.

"Okay – but only if you come with me to Ichiraku's and tell Minato and Kushina as well."

He didn't miss her wince, but she nodded, acquiescing. "Let's go then."

A few hand seals and a puff of smoke later, Gamakichi was sitting on Jiraiya's shoulder. "Go to Minato and Kushina, tell them to meet us at Ichiraku's in five minutes. It's urgent."

"Sure thing," the small toad acknowledged and disappeared.

"Come on then," Jiraiya told his teammate, ushering her out the door.

"This won't change my mind, you know," Tsunade protested even as she walked to Ichiraku's.

"Yeah, but we can't let you leave without saying goodbye."

* * *

Naruto sat at Ichiraku's, downing another bowl of ramen. "So good…."

"You know, there was someone who looked like you once who loved ramen just as much," Teuchi told the boy, leaning on the counter companionably.

"Really?" the blond spoke through a mouthful of noodles. "Who?"

"The _Yondaime Hokage_," Teuchi nodded towards the faces carved into the mountain. "He and his wife came here with Tsunade-_sama_ and Jiraiya-_sama_ the night before Tsunade-_sama_ left. I've never seen so much ramen consumed at once."

"Cool!" If anything, that made Naruto eat even faster. "Maybe then I can be like him!"

"_Dobe_," came Sasuke's voice from behind the blond boy as the Uchiha walked past. "You have a long way to go to measure up to _Yondaime-sama_."

* * *

Sasuke walked along the path, mind rushing in time with his steps. He was the strongest in his class, much stronger than Naruto, and yet he had to become stronger. Simply hearing the _dobe_ compare himself to the _Yondaime Hokage_ fired up his will to grow stronger.

But he wouldn't be training at the Uchiha compound. No. He wasn't ready to go back there.

He did all his after school training in the area behind the Academy, and to all intents and purposes he lived at his family's home – but instead he diverted before the gates, turning off into a more reclusive part of the village.

"Hello Shiruma-_san_," he greeted the lady who owned the shop below his flat. The _Sandaime Hokage_ was paying the rent for him.

"Sasuke-_kun_," she nodded back, then turned her attention to the dough she was kneading. She was one of the very few villages who didn't fawn over him, and he appreciated it.

He went up to his flat – while roomy, it was nowhere near the size of the Uchiha compound rooms – something he was also grateful for. He couldn't stand the emptiness.

* * *

Sakura sat back on her heels in the tree outside Sasuke's residence. She was _sure_ he lived in the Uchiha compound, Ino-pig had sworn as much…but obviously that information was wrong.

Her shrine would have to be updated.

One day Ino had taken the pinkette up to her room and showed a whole wall dedicated to Sasuke. It had a huge painted fan, photos of the boy in various positions – all but looking at the camera – even a lock of his hair in a jar. Sakura didn't want to know how she had gotten it.

Her own shrine was slightly more modest, only taking up a corner. It had a journal in which she kept every fact she had ever learned on Sasuke, his location, likes and dislikes, attitudes, comments – especially his favorite, "Hm" – and a sketch of his favorite outfit.

She also had doodles of herself and Sasuke holding hands, kissing and the like.

But the whole reason she had the shrine in the first place? Because she had lost a bet.


	135. Listen to the Music

Dare from addster - Tsunade was a hyper kid (age her around five or six). It wasn't the noticeable kind of hyper, the bouncing on the balls of the heels and maybe the drumming of the fingers on the desk. It went unnoticed by almost everyone. Almost. Orochimaru was really the only one to notice, and it bugged the hell out of him, but once he really started to listen to her did he hear the music.

Enjoy!

* * *

Listen to the Music

It was the movement that first got his attention – small fingers tapping on the desk, not making any noise, seen out of the corner of his eye.

Orochimaru turned his head, looking at the small blonde girl, one of the other two six year olds in his class, as she stared off into the distance tapping her fingers.

At recess he looked for her again, seeing her bouncing on her toes, heels not touching the ground, moving to the same rhythm. The odd thing was, no one else seemed to notice.

Walking home he saw her spinning in circles every couple of steps, and it took even his brain a few repetitions to find the pattern.

Step, step, step, twirl. Step, step-step, twirl, twirl. Step, step, step, twirl. Step-step, twirl, step, twirl, twirl. Then she repeated the sequence, never seeming to get dizzy.

Finally he couldn't keep his curiosity under warps any longer. Picking up his pace, he moved next to her, watching with interest as she stopped twirling to look at him, but her fingers began to move instead.

"What are you hearing?" he asked, looking directly at her eyes.

"What do you mean?" she asked back, golden eyes guileless. Still her fingers moved, keeping the beat to something he couldn't hear.

"I mean that, and the dancing," he gestured to her hand. "You're hearing something. What is it?"

"Oh…" Tsunade stopped and thought for a second, fingers still moving against her thigh. "It's…a beat. It's the music. Can't you hear it too?"

"No." He raised a skeptical eyebrow at the girl, not sure she wasn't making it up.

"You just have to listen!" And with a smile that could brighten a room Tsunade was gone again, stepping and twirling her way down the road.

Orochimaru cocked his head, listening for the so called 'music', but heard only the murmurs of conversations and the clacking of shoes on cobblestone.

For two weeks he watched Tsunade, her body never still, always moving to some beat. But nobody else noticed. No one but him.

Eventually he thought he began to hear the strains of something, a faint far-off melody that was strumming not in his ears, but rather in his blood.

"I think I hear it," Orochimaru walked next to Tsunade on the way home again, eyebrows lightly knit as he tried to pin down the elusive tune.

"Do you?" With a skip she was facing him, walking backwards along the street, head nodding to something only she could hear. "Are you sure?"

"No."

"Well, where do you hear it?"

"It's…not in my ears…" he began tentatively. "More in my body, like a heartbeat."

"You're almost there," she told him, doing a complicated step and turning around once more. "You just have to listen harder!"

With an exasperated sigh and roll of his eyes, Orochimaru watched her go. But this time he could _almost_ hear it, almost feel what she heard.

It was in class the first time he caught his fingers tapping in a rhythm on the desk top, and he stared at them in surprise.

The next time, his foot was bouncing to a beat, one no one else seemed to hear. And when he watched Tsunade, he was sure that whatever she heard, whatever she felt, he could hear and feel too.

He could hear the music too.


	136. Colors and Glue

Dare from Ella Unlimited - Why is Sakura's hair pink? The mystery that has befuddled us all may never be answered! Or why did Naruto decided to wear orange of all colors? Was there a sale? The world may never know... And what is with Sasuke's hair? Why in the WORLD does it look like a chicken's butt?

Those questions shall be answered all in one incident! Muahahahha...

Enjoy!

* * *

Colors and Glue

Four year old Naruto ran as fast as he could away from the _jounin_ pursuing him, laughing all the while. For some reason they were upset over his latest prank – and he had no desire to be caught.

Seeing a park up ahead, he took a sharp left turn, swerving into the group of children swarming over the playground. Let the _jounin_ try to catch him in _there_!

Naruto patted the balloons he had nestled against his body as he moved through the crowd, checking to make sure they were still there. They were the only remnants of his prank, as he had been discovered before he could use them.

Only three left.

Looking around, he noticed a lot of the kids were around his age – most likely he would go to school with them when he entered the Academy.

Just then a black haired boy passing by him jostled Naruto's shoulder, and he grabbed quickly at the balloons lest they fall. "Hey – " he began, but the boy was already gone.

Muttering under his breath, the blond prankster decided as long as he was at the park he would simply enjoy himself, and maybe play with the other kids.

Soon enough he was spinning around on the rotating platform, laughing along with some of the other four and five year olds as the speeds picked up and whipped at their hair and clothing. One after another they eventually fell off, the speeds too much for their grip, while others jumped to see if they could land on their feet.

Eventually it was only Naruto, a small girl who he knew as Sakura, and the raven from earlier clinging and laughing. As the platform slowed, each collapsed, still giggling.

"Wanna do it again?" Naruto asked the two, craning his neck to look back at them.

"So dizzy," panted Sakura, sitting up and leaning against the railing. "Maybe not now."

"I'd rather run," proclaimed the other boy, sitting up as well.

Just then, Naruto got an idea. "Hey, wanna see if you can dodge while running?"

That perked up the boy's interest, and he looked at the blond. "Sure."

"Great!" Naruto stood up and grabbed one of his balloons, moving away from the wheel. "Start running and dodge this!"

As the boy took off, Naruto pushed a bit of _chakra_ into the balloon – the _Sandaime_ had showed him how to – and launched it right across the wheel. Sakura chose that exact moment to stand up.

The balloon hit her in the head, pink color immediately splattering across her hair and dyeing it the pale pink of cherry blossoms. "Ahhh! What is this?" she screamed, running towards her mom. "Mom! Mom!"

Naruto watched her go, chuckling sheepishly. "Oops."

"Try again!" called the raven, moving back to the wheel as his starting point.

"Okay…go!" Again Naruto charged up a balloon with his _chakra_, but this time overpowered it. The paint balloon exploded across his clothing, dying it neon orange. "Crap!"

The running boy rolled his eyes. "One more time."

"Yeah yeah," Naruto muttered, but pulled out his last balloon. "This time I won't miss!"

The raven took off once more, and this time Naruto's aim and _chakra_ were perfect – the boy was smacked in the back of his head with the glue filled balloon, the momentum of which forced the hair at the back of his head to stand straight up. To Naruto's surprise, it didn't fall back down.

"What did you do to my hair?" Wide-eyed, the boy ran back to the wheel, hands grasping at his hair. "It..it…"

"It looks like a duck's butt!" Naruto howled, pointing a finger as he collapsed, holding his orange stomach in laughter.

"You're not much better," the boy shot back. "With that color clothing you could be spotted a mile away!"

Naruto stopped and looked down at his now orange clothes, examining them. "That just makes the chase all the more fun!" he eventually decided cheerily, grinning. "What's your name?"

"Uchiha Sasuke," the boy informed him. "And now I must go."

Raising an eyebrow, Naruto watched the four year old walk away, his duck-butt hair not even quivering. "Maybe I should keep that recipe…"

Over at the hospital, one of the doctors examined Sakura, noting that the pink color followed the hair tendrils all the way to the scalp.

"I'm sorry, Haruno-_san_," he eventually told the girl's mother, who had tried to wash out the paint to no avail. "It would appear the _chakra_ mixed into the paint has sunk into the roots as well…her hair is permanently stained this shade."

Sakura looked at one the strands of hair falling across her shoulders. "At least it's pretty," she decided, pulling on the cherry blossom strand.


	137. Predawn

Response to a dare from Ella Unlimited to expand on any part of Life and Times, so I chose the Tsunade goodbye part. I hope the end is good for all you romantics out there...

Enjoy

* * *

Predawn

Tsunade sighed as she sat back on the couch in Jiraiya's house, where they had returned after talking with Minato and Kushina for more than an hour.

"You're going to miss the birth of their kid," Jiraiya broke the silence, not looking at the blonde woman across the room from him, but instead at the ceiling.

"I know." She couldn't look at him either, or she would lose the iron control she was exercising over her emotions. _I never should have told him._

"You didn't tell them."

"I know."

"Why?" he asked again, finally looking directly at her again. "Why can't you at least wait? You're supposed to be his godmother…"

"If I stay and they die, that will be two more people I've lost." Her voice was emotionless, flat. She was sure if he looked in her eyes at that moment they would seem dead. "I can't take that again. I have to leave."

He seemed to mull over her answer, and quiet reigned in the room for a few minutes.

"Why did you tell me then?" He didn't sound accusing, just curious. "If you wouldn't tell them, why me?"

"I didn't want to hurt them. They wouldn't understand yet…you do." Golden eyes met black, and he saw the truth. He did know exactly why she was leaving, but he didn't know if it would work.

"You're hurting them by leaving," Jiraiya informed her matter-of-factly. "They'll wonder why you left, never knowing why."

"But it's better than knowing the truth." She was unyielding, her eyes pleading with him to understand.

With an accepting nod he walked across the room and settled into the couch next to her. "Tell me word for word."

Tsunade stared at him for a moment before acquiescing, relaxing into the arm he put around her. Any other day or night she would have punched him, but she may never see him again. She couldn't do that.

"I can't take the deaths anymore. I can't watch as people come back in body bags, and their names are added onto the Memorial Stone. I've lost my whole family Jiraiya – grandparents, uncles, parents, brother –" her voice caught at the last one, Nawaki's death still too fresh, "and too many friends. I can't keep doing this."

"And what about the friends you have left? What if they die when you aren't here to see, aren't here to honor them?" He was playing Devil's Advocate, but he wasn't sure if it was from a desire to see her stay or to make sure she knew exactly what she was getting into. Maybe a bit of both.

With a pained expression, Tsunade closed her eyes, but remained firm. "I'm willing to accept that. In four hours at dawn Shizune and I will leave this village and that lifestyle behind."

Jiraiya sighed and tightened his arm, pulling her towards him. "Will you stay the rest of the night with me?" He didn't like how the words came out almost pleading, but his heart was already almost ripping in two.

Tsunade gave a mute nod, fine blonde hair brushing Jiraiya's arm as she nestled into his body.

They stayed there for hours until the sky outside lightened in predawn, listening to each other's breathing. He would be the hardest for her to leave behind; he didn't want her to leave, he loved her.

Jiraiya's breath caught, Tsunade looked up at him, and their eyes met just as the pale gold of the sun began to grace the horizon. Almost imperceptibly he leaned down even as she moved up, and their lips met in their first – and now possibly last – kiss.


	138. A Day at the Park

Dare from addster - Tsunade has taken Naruto to the park so he can run off some of that energy. And as she is sitting on the bench, enjoying the free time, she hears this blood curdling scream. Assuming the worst, she's on her feet and sprinting towards the sand box where Naruto is sitting. She sees a girl in the box next to him, all disturbed and eyes wide, and then she looks down on her son. He's eating sand. Not wanting to create a scene, Tsunade lifts him out of the sandbox, apologizes to the girls' disgruntled mother, and takes him over to the jungle gym. He starts throwing mulch.

Tweaked the sandbox bit slightly, but I like it =)

Enjoy!

Not my most imaginative title...

* * *

A Day at the Park

"Come on, Naruto," Tsunade told her son, tugging on his hand. "You can run around when we get to the park."

The four year old stopped straining against his mother's grip, but didn't stop looking around eagerly. "Are we there yet?"

With an exasperated chuckle, Tsunade let go of the boy's small hand and grabbed him by the shoulders, turning him until he faced straight ahead. "Go."

With an excited squeal, Naruto took off, running immediately to the sandbox where he saw some other children his age playing.

Tsunade moved over to the benches placed along the sides of the playground specifically for parents, sitting down with a relieved sigh. Next to her, a woman with long black hair gave a mirroring sigh.

"How old is yours?" Tsunade asked, looking to her left. The woman didn't look much younger than she, maybe five years.

"Five, and already a handful," the raven replied, grinning wryly. "Yours?"

"Four, and I understand completely," Tsunade told her earnestly. "He's always running around, breaking things…"

For a moment the woman looked startled, but then let out a laugh. "Oh, that's not the problem," she assured Tsunade. "In fact it's the exact opposite. All he wants to do is eat and sleep! I can't get him interested in anything but lying around and looking at the clouds. That's him over there," she pointed to a small boy who was lying flat on top of the roof of one of the many tunnels, hands behind his head and looking up at the sky.

"I'm not sure which would be worse," Tsunade began, but just then a bloodcurdling scream echoed over the playground. Immediately the blonde woman jumped to her feet, searching for the source of the disturbance. Over in the sandbox where Naruto was playing, a girl was screeching and pointing at her son, a petrified expression adorning her face.

In less than five seconds Tsunade was over there, picking up her son and looking for any hint of harm. But all she saw was her boy smiling at her, a mouth full of sand. "Oh, Naruto…" she sighed.

The girl's mother came rushing over as well, pale blonde hair streaming behind her. "Ino, what's wrong?"

"H-He was eating sand!" the girl sobbed out, clutching at her mother's leg.

"I'm really sorry about this," Tsunade told the woman, who looked both relieved bemused. "I'll just take him somewhere else."

"Don't worry about it," the blonde woman told her, picking up her daughter. "Ino can get a bit over dramatic sometimes."

With two matching grins that detailed the exact trials of being a mother, the women parted, each heading separate ways. This time Tsunade placed her son down near the metal jungle gym and watched as he immediately scaled it.

Her eyes followed her son's shock of blond hair for a moment – the color was hers, but the shape was all his father's – until she was sure he was situated. Then she headed back to her bench to see if she couldn't rest for a few minutes.

No such luck. She had barely sat down before a few shrill screams drew her attention to the jungle gym. Her blond haired ball of hyperactive energy was running around tossing mulch into the air, and it seemed the rest of the children there didn't seem for the action.

With a frustrated sigh, Tsunade hurried over and grabbed her son around the waist, hoisting the four year old into the air and began to walk away from the playground.

"I think we're done here for today," she told him, turning him around in her arms so she could see his brilliant blue eyes. "If you can't behave – and you have proven that to a T – we're going home."

"No," Naruto pouted and crossed his arms, bottom lip sticking out mutinously.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "If you don't want to go home you won't see Gama-_chan_ for a week."

That immediately stalled the oncoming tears as he began chanting, "Gama-_chan_! Gama-_chan_!"

His mother rolled her eyes and hoisted her boy into a more comfortable position. "So much for a peaceful relaxing afternoon," she muttered to herself.


	139. Maybe If

Very introspective and rather short, a response to a dare from Ella Unlimited - There was a time that Naruto wasn't always so happy. He wasn't the ray of sunshine that everyone loved, he didn't wear orange and he preferred to be alone. But one day, he noticed a little dark-haired boy sitting by himself during snack-time; and Naruto realized that he wasn't alone. There were other people like him, orphaned and afraid. And even though he was only three, he realized that maybe... He didn't have to live life alone. That if he had people that cared about him... He would have something to live for.

I hope you enjoy

* * *

Maybe If

Naruto wasn't sure his mouth knew how to smile. He hadn't for the three years of his life that had passed so far, and even though he had seen others do it, he had never found a reason to.

He was an orphan. He had never known his parents, a guardian, a caretaker, or even a friend. And he was constantly afraid. Afraid of being alone forever, afraid of going hungry, and above all afraid of being happy – because if he was happy, he could lose it. He was firmly convinced it was better to never know happiness than to have it and lose it.

Naruto was walking along the street, kicking a pebble in front of his shoe and not looking up at the multitude of faces around him. Nobody talked to him, and he talked to no one.

One kick too hard sent the pebble off to the side, and Naruto had to divert from his normal path to reclaim it. With a chance glance across the street, he saw another boy his age also walking with his head down, weaving in between the larger people on the street without talking or even glancing at them.

The blond boy stared at him, eyebrows furrowing. Almost as though he sensed the look, the raven across the street looked up, eyes meeting Naruto's for a second. In that time a multitude of truths passed between the two boys – hardships, loneliness, pain, sorrow. Then Naruto tore his eyes away, tugging his dark shirt up to block his view.

The boy existed in exactly as much pain as he did. They were equally resigned to their fates. He had no doubt the other boy was an orphan as well, without anyone to take care of him, going on through his existence unnoticed, uncared for, and uncaring.

But as he saw his mirror…he decided maybe he didn't want to live like that. Maybe he wanted to actually feel happiness, and as he looked around at the people on the street, laughing with each other and smiling, he resolved to change himself and how he appeared to others.

If he had actual friends maybe he would have something to live for, rather than moving day to day without purpose. And if he had people that cared, actually _cared_ about him – his breath caught at the mere thought – perhaps he would have something to live for.


	140. We Regret to Inform You

Sorry, this is most definitely a sad one. Thanks to Kaiser969 for this idea.

Enjoy?

* * *

We Regret to Inform You

"Are you sure you have to go?" Tsunade asked for the umpteenth time, placing a hand on Jiraiya's shoulder. "Sarutobi-_sensei_ can't just…"

"Yes, I'm sure," the white-haired man told her, turning around. "Konoha needs me on the front lines, especially if they can't have you." He placed a hand on her abdomen, barely curved with her pregnancy.

"I could still fight –"

"I won't let you." The words were said with finality. "And neither will _sensei_. The new generation is more important than the lives of all of us. You of all people understand that."

"Yes…" she whispered, placing her hand over his. "But that doesn't mean I can't wish to be by your side there."

"I'll be back before you know it, I promise," he told her sincerely, looking her in the eyes. "And before this little one is born."

She nodded mutely, then pulled him close. "It's going to be hard to stay here while you're off gallivanting about," she let out a weak chuckle. "Who's going to keep you in line?"

Jiraiya chuckled as well, wrapping his arms around his wife. "I don't know, I think Kushina would be pretty good at that…"

Tsunade brightened at that suggestion. "Yeah, she'd be sure to keep you on the straight and narrow." Then her eyes welled up once more. "But I won't be there to watch your back."

"I know," he murmured into her hair, stroking a hand down her back. "It's safer for you here though. I wouldn't be able to concentrate if you were on the front lines with me. Besides, I promise to wrap up this whole war on my own, okay?"

With another sniff she pulled back, wiping at her eyes. "See you in a few months then?"

"Of course. Love you." With one last hug he grabbed his bag and headed for the door, stopping to wave goodbye to her before joining the throng of _shinobi_ headed towards the gates of Konoha.

"Love you too," she whispered.

Months passed and Tsunade grew more and more worried as days went by. Every few weeks she would stop by the _Hokage's_ office to look for updates on what was happening on the front lines – and specifically Jiraiya.

She wasn't sure which she wanted more, to know of how he was doing, or to follow the adage – no news is good news.

Sarutobi was oddly accepting of her visits, especially as she began to show more and more. She thought she kept him grounded in his old team – with Jiraiya off fighting, Orochimaru who knows where, and he stuck as _Hokage_, she kept him company.

"Tsunade-_chan_!" he greeted her after four months had passed. To her dismay the war was still going strong, but at least Jiraiya hadn't been sent back home wounded yet. "It's good to see you."

"Sarutobi-_sensei_," she replied, smiling lightly. "How have you been faring?"

"Not as well as I could be, but better than expected," he told her honestly. She could see the changes in him herself, more lines around his eyes and the beginnings of silver in his hair. "And how have you been? And the little one?"

Her eyes lit up at the mention of her child. "We're doing well, thank you _sensei_. It seems this one is determined to take after his father, he kicks so hard."

"It's only going to get stronger," Sarutobi grinned at her. "My wife complained for the last two months before Asuma was born she could feel the bed move every time he kicked."

The blonde woman let out a laugh. "I hope it doesn't get that bad! Although Jiraiya would probably have a field day." Her eyes darkened slightly as she thought of her missing spouse. "Have you heard any news?"

"Only that we won another few victories, holding the line between_ Hi no Kuni_ and _Mizu no Kuni_," he told her soberly. "With the destruction of _Uzu no Kuni_, they've been pushing our borders, and we're hard pressed to keep them back with _Iwagakure _pushing us from the northwest. But he seems to have made a name for himself on the front lines."

"No news is good news?" she asked weakly, leaning back against the wall in order to remain upright.

"With _shinobi_, it's the best kind of news," he confirmed. "Don't worry, Tsunade-_chan_. I'm sure Jiraiya will be back in time to see his child born, and if the war isn't over by then, I'll pull him back myself."

"Thanks, _sensei_." The sentiment was heart-felt. "I better get going, I have some shopping to do so I don't eat myself out of house and home."

"Goodbye, Tsunade-_chan_, and thank you for stopping by." As the blonde woman stepped out the door, Sarutobi turned back to his work, a worried frown marring his forehead.

She was nine months pregnant, and worried sick about her husband. The war had yet to abate, and while she had every confidence in Sarutobi, she knew if Jiraiya's presence on the front lines was a matter of life and death, he wouldn't pull him out. It was the reality of being a _shinobi_.

As she sat at her table eating breakfast, a knock on the door echoed through her house. "I'm not expecting anyone," Tsunade muttered to herself, but got up to check.

Standing outside was an ANBU in full gear, with a scroll held across his chest.

Tsunade's breath caught. She knew what that meant. _Please, please, please don't be…_

"Senju Tsunade," the man started off formally. "We regret to inform you…"

He didn't finish before she collapsed against the doorframe in disbelief.


	141. Their Child

This one is definitely more towards the T rated than the K+. After getting multiple complaints about my previous cliffie - ^^; - I decided this needed to be expanded upon. If you would like one more expansion just ask. Addster suggested something about when the child is three or so and asking about his father.

Enjoy

* * *

Their Child

Time slowed down, sound becoming nonexistent as she stared at the man on her doorstep who had just shattered her world.

It seemed forever she stood there, looking straight ahead, until the man moved towards her, worry in every line of his body. That was when she realized her body was convulsing, wild sobs tearing out of her.

But she felt nothing.

She didn't hear the man's cries of Tsunade-_hime,_ feel his arms come around her in an attempt to keep her upright and from keeling forward to meet the ground. She didn't hear his calls for help, nor the arrival of a medical squad. She didn't see the gawkers on the street, all staring at her with a mixture of curiosity, worry, and pity.

She saw nothing, felt nothing, heard nothing but the keening in her soul, the hollowness in her chest as though her heart had just been ripped out still beating and crushed.

The blonde woman was strapped to a gurney, restraints across her shoulders, arms and legs to keep her from convulsing even more and possibly doing damage to the child in her womb.

Their child. Their child who would now never know his father, never know the great man Jiraiya had been. Their child she would have to raise alone. Alone.

Tsunade stared above her with unseeing eyes as the blue of day turned into the white ceiling of the hospital, as she was rushed through corridors hearing snatches of conversation such as "Gone into shock", "get sedative", "monitor the child". The words were gibberish to her.

The only thing she noticed was when her world changed from the white painful light into the numb darkness that threatened to swallow her. She welcomed it.

The next time she came back to the world of heartache there was someone standing next to her bed. Someone she recognized.

"Will she be able to attend?" his voice asked someone else in the room.

"Physically yes," a woman answered. "Psychologically…it might be more damaging for her to watch."

"She would never forgive me if she missed it," the man admitted, turning back to Tsunade and seeing her eyes were open. "Tsunade-_chan_?"

She looked mutely back, eyes not really focusing, hearing the beeping of monitors in the background.

Sarutobi sighed. It was breaking his own heart to see such a strong woman reduced to this. "Tsunade-_chan_, we're going to have the ceremony to engrave Jiraiya's name on the stone tomorrow; he would want you there. Do you understand?"

A long moment passed, then Tsunade blinked at him and looked away, eyes closing.

She heard another sigh, then footsteps pacing away from her bed. "She'll come."

The next day rain fell nonstop, as though the sky too was crying for the loss of the greatest man she had ever known. Nurses had dressed her in her usual clothes, a waterproof cloak over the ensemble to protect both her and her child from the wet. Sarutobi walked next to her during the procession to the stone, one hand on her waist the whole time. Without him guiding her she was lost.

The ceremony was short and simple, but it brought back memories of the other times she had attended to watch the name of a loved one be carved on a stone. A stone that meant they were never coming back. Tears trickled down her face, mixing with the rain until they were undistinguishable, but she didn't sob. She was too hollow to feel such strong emotion. Tsunade was simply empty.

They remained there after all the other mourners had left, _sensei_ with his arm wrapped around his student, student carrying the child of the deceased.

"Come on, Tsunade-_chan_," Sarutobi said finally. "You need to get inside."

With one last look at the stone, she let him lead her away, back to the hospital where the nurses immediately took charge of her again, cajoling her into eating something warm, wrapping blankets around her shoulders, and checking the heartbeat of the child within her.

"We'd like to keep her here at least until the child is born," one of the nurses told Sarutobi, casting a glance over her shoulder at the unresponsive blonde woman. "For both of their sakes."

"That would probably be for the best," he agreed heavily. "I only hope she's able to overcome this. Jiraiya wouldn't want her reduced to this state."

She spent the rest of the month in an unfeeling daze, either in her bed in the hospital or sitting at a window, looking out. The nurses made sure she went for walks around the hospital occasionally, keeping her somewhat in shape.

When her labor started it wasn't Tsunade who alerted the nurses, but the machines they had strapped to her, picking up the contractions of her stomach and womb.

They bustled around her, changing her into a clean gown, hooking up some more monitors, and moving her into another room, one with birthing supplies.

The world grew hazy to her once again, images and voices fading in and out, as did the pain. Once she saw a nurse hovering over her, saying "You're doing great", another time someone was holding her hand as her body tensed through a contraction.

Mostly she floated in a place just outside her body, looking down quizzically at the blonde woman below her, whose face was streaked with sweat from her body's labor, stomach muscles taut as they fought to expel her child from her womb. People were gathered around her like ants, but the golden eyes looked straight up and ahead, not focusing on anything, not a part of what was happening.

Wisps of conversation met her ears as she hovered there, a nurse situated between the woman's legs as two others held them screaming "Push!" and another counting off "One, two…..five…eight, nine…."They put her legs down after the counting, letting her rest, but the respite didn't last long.

As Tsunade saw the swollen stomach contract once more, they pulled her legs up, one woman's hand pushing at the top of the swell, trying to get the baby to move, to get the non-responsive woman to push.

With a snap she was back in her own body once more, feeling the pain of overworked muscles as they tried to eject her child from her body. Their child.

As the nurses yelled at her to push once again she did so, feeling something within her moving and pressure building.

"…crowning!" she heard, and felt a nearly unbearable pain between her legs. "One more!"

So again she pushed, pressing feet against the woman holding them, desperate for it just to be over so she could stop, so she could rest away from the persistent pain that continued to drag her out of the world of solitude she had built for herself.

Then the pressure was gone, and a thin reedy wail filled the air in the sudden silence left behind. Even as they took the child away, another nurse approached and massaged her abdomen until she felt one last contraction, and it was all over.

"You have a son, Tsunade-_hime_!" came a joyful voice, but Tsunade was too tired to hear where it came from. She was limp as a doll as nurses cleaned her up, sitting her up in the bed once they had finished.

From her left Sarutobi approached, holding in his arms a blue bundle, placing it against her chest. Almost instinctively her arms came up to hold it there, and she looked down.

"Congratulations," he told her quietly as she gazed at the baby's face, not recognizing it. Then his eyes opened and his head moved, dislodging the blanket and revealing a shock of white hair, coupled with obsidian eyes. Tsunade's breath caught at the resemblance.

Their child. He was their child. Part of Jiraiya, the last part she would ever have, and the best.

"Raiden." Her voice was weak from disuse, but they both heard it. "Senju Raiden. My whole world." Involuntarily her hand came out and a finger stroked along the baby's cheek, and he turned towards it instinctively.

A tear tracked its way down her cheek as she looked up at her _sensei_, initiating contact for the first time since she had heard the news. "Our child. My whole world."


	142. Gambling in Vegas

Most definitely an AU dare, from DarkShadowRaven -Jiraiya, Tsunade and Naruto go to Las Vegas for some vacation. After spending some time together, they break off with Tsunade 'assaulting' the casinos with her money, and Jiraiya taking a break to the sexy showgirls. Poor Naruto is ignore and Tsunade slips him a few coins to play some arcade games. Eventually Tsunade looses all her money and Jiraiya is pickpocketed out of his wallet. They realize Naruto is missing and search desperately. Later, with no money, no son and no vacation, the parents have a moment of self-awareness and realize their mistakes and worries. After much praying, Naruto finds and takes them to show them his winnings at the casino(a new sports car included)

* * *

Gambling in Vegas

"Mom!" Naruto whined, tugging ineffectually on her green coat for the fifth time in as many minutes. "I'm _bored_!"

Tsunade rolled her eyes at her son; they had spent the day cooped up in their hotel room and all three were heartily tired of the 'company'. "You know what, let's hit the town. Anything is better than staying here another minute. Get your dad up."

Naruto grinned at her then took a running start and leapt onto the bed, spread-eagled for maximum effect. "Dad wake up!"

Jiraiya groaned and rolled over under his son, mumbling "What was that for?"

"Mom says we get to go out!"

"Out?" the man perked up, shoving Naruto off to the side. "Let's move!"

In minutes the three were out on the streets, rubbernecking at the many neon signs.

"Let's go in there!" Tsunade pointed to a place that was obviously a gambling den. Jiraiya was about to protest, but the movement of the showgirls inside quickly changed his mind.

"In we go!" Towing Naruto behind them, both parents made a direct beeline for the building, Tsunade pulling out her money as they went. Jiraiya immediately split off to head over to where showgirls were displaying a series of merchandise, pulling out a notebook as he went, and Naruto followed him mother over to the casino machines.

The blond teenager lasted maybe three rounds before he sighed, bored. Without looking away from her machine, Tsunade fished in her pocket for some coins and pressed them into her son's hand. "Take these and go play some games or something," she instructed, then all her attention was back on the spinning numbers.

With a roll of his eyes Naruto took the coins and wandered away. The video games in the place looked boring and easy; now the car over there some salesman said was for the winner of that gambling game however…

Hours passed by unnoticed until Jiraiya reached into his pocket to get some money with which to procure his food…and found it empty. One frantic search later revealed his worst fear and something common in Vegas – he had been pickpocketed.

Hastily the white-haired man sought out his wife, only to find her searching her pockets as well for more money to gamble with. "I'm broke," Tsunade told him the moment she saw her husband, then took in his expression. "What?"

"Someone stole my wallet," he groused, looking around. "Where's Naruto?"

"Right over…" Tsunade began, then her eyes widened as she didn't see the familiar blond hair. "He was right over there!"

"How many hours ago?" Jiraiya sniped, but let it pass. "Where do you think he could have gone?"

"I don't know, I gave him some money to go play arcade games, but I expected him to come back when he was done!" Panic was beginning to seep into her voice as she ran a hand through her hair.

"So we have no money and no son?" Jiraiya clarified, moving away from the machines to see if he could get a better view. "Some parents _we_ are."

"I…" Tsunade was barely holding back tears. "It's all my fault! I shouldn't have been gambling and let him alone in Vegas of all places!"

"Not just yours," Jiraiya consoled her. "I shouldn't have been over there ogling the show girls the whole time…" he winced as she punched him hard in the shoulder, but it was well deserved.

"We have to find him! I swear if we do I'll never gamble again…"

"Find who?" came a voice from behind the two and they spun around in surprise. Standing there casually was their son holding a bulging bag and dangling something from his hand. "Who are you looking –"

He was cut off as Tsunade engulfed him in a tight hug. "Mom! Mom! Can't breathe!" the teenager managed to squeak out, drawing a deep breath when she let go.

"Where have you been? We've been worried sick!" she scolded, both hands on his shoulders, then pulled her son in for another hug.

"Sorry mom! I was off gambling," he told her repentantly, holding out the bag. "And look at what I won!"

Jiraiya grabbed the bag and opened it, eyes growing wide at the treasure inside. "Naruto! This is more than what it would take to come out here five times over! How much did you start with?"

"About ten bucks," he replied cheekily. "And that's not all I won, come look!"

Grabbing both their hands Naruto led his parents over to where a man was standing next to a bright red sports car. "I brought them!"

"Ah! Sir, madam," the salesman bowed to Tsunade and Jiraiya. "Your son has won this car in a contest, but due to his lack of license we could not in good conscience let him drive it out. Perhaps you would…?"

Jiraiya stood stock still, eyes switching between his son and the pristine vehicle in front of them. "You won this?" he managed to get out.

"Yep! It's all ours!"

Jiraiya rounded on his wife, falling to his knees. "Please can we stay here a bit longer and give him some more money? Just think of all we could win!"

"No," the blonde woman shut him down harshly. "We're going to go back home and be a _family_."

"At least in the new car?" Jiraiya pleaded.

Both blondes rolled their eyes, but nodded. "In the new car."


	143. Heatwave

Today I was going to go flying with my brother flying the plane! But then the weather had to be stupid and decide to go all cloudy and rainy and windy =(

But then we played snowboarding for a while, and it was awesome! We've had that game for almost 10 years, we could be anyone at it ;P

Anyway, on to the dare! Dare from Ella Unlimited -Summer. A time of blissful fun in the sun. When the barbecues, slip-n-slides, and bathing-suits come out of hiding. Well... For most families anyway. Summer time for one particular household unlocks the cheap father who refuses to pay for the AC, the stubborn mom who is dead-locked on getting the perfect family portrait, and the loud, obnoxious, and rather hyper fourteen year-old son who just wants to go swimming to beat the heat.

Let me just say I'm _quite_ glad _we_ have air conditioning, because it's gone over 100F two days here!

* * *

Heatwave

"Dad!" Naruto moaned, flopping across the couch dramatically. "I'm going to _melt_!"

"Nonsense," Jiraiya retorted from his position sitting in a chair, perfectly composed. "It's the perfect temperature."

"Maybe for someone who doesn't feel anything," the teenager muttered rebelliously under his breath. "Couldn't you have at least bought fans even if you were too cheap to _pay for air conditioning!"_

Jiraiya simply hmph-ed and looked away from his son pointedly.

"Naruto! Get up off that couch!" Tsunade commanded, entering the room with a camera and tripod. "It's the beginning of summer! You know what that means?"

"That it's far too hot to be alive?" he retorted sarcastically, gathering his body off the couch and sighing. "What does it mean?"

"Summer family portrait time!" his mother announced, setting the tripod and camera up in front of the couch and nabbing the remote. "Jiraiya, you're in this too!"

"Mom, it's too hot to do a portrait!"

"Take that up with your father," the blonde woman replied ruthlessly. "We're doing this today, and we're doing it _now_."

With a pout the blond boy sat down heavily on the couch and glared at his father. "I want to go swimming."

"You can go after," Tsunade promised as she made some final adjustments to the camera and moved over to sit on the couch as well. "Jiraiya, you get over here as well!"

"Do I have to?" the white-haired man whined like a petulant child.

"Yes!" The death glare she sent her husband was enough to make him scramble onto the couch.

"Okay, now smile!" With a flash the camera took a series of pictures.

Tsunade got up to check them and cringed at what she saw. "Naruto! You're in a different position in _each one_ of these! Sit _still_!"

"But _mom_!"

"Do it!"

"Fine," he pouted again, and settled back on the couch, settling his face into a rictus expression. "This better?"

"_Naruto…"_ Tsunade growled, shooting him the same death glare she had used on her husband.

"No no, I think he's onto something," Jiraiya agreed and made the same face. "Just think, if we sent a picture like this to those obnoxious neighbors, they'd never bother us again!"

The blonde woman rolled her eyes even as a grin threatened to spread across her features. "No we can't," she said firmly. "This has to be just right. Now settle down."

They went through five more rounds of pictures before she deemed they had one mildly suitable…throughout which Naruto grew slowly more and more apathetic.

The moment Tsunade released him from the couch the blond boy lunged towards the kitchen, moaning "Water…"

"Jiraiya, you really should pay for some AC," Tsunade chastised her husband, as they watched their son go.

"He's just being over dramatic!" Jiraiya defended himself. "You don't really _need_ air conditioning!"

She rolled her eyes. "Only if you live in the North Pole," his wife shot back. "You better get that air conditioning set up in here before the summer ends or you'll be sleeping here for the next year."

"Tsunade…" he groaned, but she pinned him with a glare.

"Fine."

"I'm going out!" Naruto called from the kitchen. "Maybe if I drown myself in the pool I'll _finally get cool_!"

"Over dramatic, huh?"


	144. Adopted

Thanks to Kaiser969 for suggesting the topic =)

Yeah it's both short and late...you can blame my brother and the TV for that...he keeps putting on movies and distracting me! ^^;

* * *

Adopted

"Naruto?" Tsunade called for her blond son, hands clasped tightly where they rested on the table.

"Yeah mom?" he yelled back, voice echoing through the house.

"Come to the kitchen please!"

"Why?" was the response. "Can it wait just a few minutes?"

"Now please."

"Fine." He trekked into the kitchen, rubbing at messy spiky blond hair, almost the same shade as hers but not quite. "What's up?" Then he noticed her white knuckled hands on the table. "Mom? What's wrong?"

"There's something I've wanted to tell you…" Tsunade began hesitantly. "Something you should know."

Naruto remained markedly silent, staring at his mother with wide eyes.

"You…should have had…an older sibling." The words were difficult for her to get out. "But then again, if you did I wouldn't have you…"

"Mom, what are you talking about?"

The blonde woman took another deep breath and looked her son right in his brilliant blue eyes. "I suppose the place to start with is that I had a miscarriage twelve years ago."

The ten year old boy started in shock, staring at his mother in disbelief and…pity?

"Don't give me that look," she chastised him as she read the emotions in his eyes. "I have you now. But back then…I had been looking forward to having a child for so long, and then the chance got ripped away from me." Her golden eyes began to shine, but she held the tears at bay. "It broke me, and for over a year, I was…distraught, depressed, unresponsive."

"Mom…?"

"Let me finish. That is, until I adopted you."

The blond boy climbed out of his chair and scrambled over to his mother's, jumping up onto her lap and snuggling close. Automatically her arms came around him and held the small body close.

"I was working at the hospital when I got a call that a woman had a child and no longer wanted to keep him. The nurse knew about my…loss…and before the child – you – could be sent to an orphanage, she offered me the chance to adopt you. Needless to say I accepted," she laughed faintly.

"You became the light in my life, a little blond ray of sunshine." Tsunade grinned at him as her son looked up at her and tugged on a lock of hair.

"But I look like you!" the boy protested even as he freed his hair from its capturer. "How can I be adopted if I look like you?"

"Beats me," the blonde woman shrugged even as she pulled him closer. "But I don't care. To me, you _are_ my son. In every sense of the word."

"Okay." Naruto relaxed into her embrace, resting his ear just above her heart. "Mom?"

"Hm?"

"What's for lunch?"

Tsunade's laugh echoed through the kitchen and after a few seconds Naruto joined in.


	145. The Playbook

Dare from addster - Sarutobi is bored, like ready to lose his mind. So he calls up his team of fresh jounin, devious mind bubbling with acts his monkeys can perform to keep him entertained. After a few hours of doing his paper work and acting out ridiculous scenes from an old play book the Hokage found in his drawer, Orochimaru finds the time to pull his teammates to the side. "He's turning us into his play things." The other two, furious beyond belief, nod and stage "The Final Act". Their good old sensei ends up flying out the window with not as much clothing as he started out with, and a trail of angry teenagers tear assing after him.

Tweaked a bit obviously...^^;

Enjoy!

* * *

The Playbook

The _Sandaime Hokage_ tapped his pen on the desk once again, more than just a little bit bored. Paperwork was most definitely the worst part of his job, he mused even as he stared at the piles and piles of paper in front of him. Right in the middle of them was buried a small book he had been given by his wife for his birthday.

Picking it up and leafing through, Sarutobi felt a smile blossom on his lips and widen until it threatened to take over his whole face. _Yes. This would do perfectly._

Calling to his assistant, he ordered the man to go fetch Sarutobi's team of newly made _jounin_; Tsunade, Jiraiya and Orochimaru. It wouldn't be long until they arrived and he had to be ready.

"_Sensei_, you called for us?" Jiraiya was the first one into the room, to find it empty. "_Sensei?"_

Walking over to the desk Orochimaru examined it, and found a piece of folded paper situated clearly in the middle with all three of their names on it. "Over here."

Jiraiya and Tsunade gathered around as the raven opened it and read aloud.

"If you're reading this, I haven't returned from my meeting yet. I would ask a favor of you three – would you mind working on the stack of paperwork I set aside? They are simple mission confirmations that do not require the _Hokage_'s signature. In addition, I would greatly appreciate it if Jiraiya could paint concentric circles all across my floor as Tsunade does the same on the ceiling. Of course, they have to be done at the same time. Then both will do the wall while holding hands. Think of this as a training exercise, and I will know if you don't.

_Sandaime Hokage_."

All three stared at the paper for a moment before looking at each other.

"Is he joking?" Orochimaru was the first to break the silence and voice what they had been thinking.

Tsunade's eyes were annoyed as she glared at the paper. "I don't think so," she ground out.

"Well, if _sensei_ said to do it we have to," Jiraiya contributed. "Do you remember the last time we didn't follow his instructions to the letter?" The team shuddered in unison.

"Never again." Orochimaru stated.

"I refuse to ever let that happen," Tsunade agreed.

"I guess that means we're doing this," Jiraiya gestured disdainfully to the paper.

"Fine," the pale boy on the team ground out. "I'll take the paperwork because no doubt I can get through it all much faster than either of you, while you get started on your own duties."

With identical sighs, Jiraiya and Tsunade headed over to where two paint buckets and brushes rested, and argued over who would do the ceiling and who the floor.

From his position behind a hidden door in the office, Sarutobi relaxed in his chair and grinned with mirth as he watched his students work on the tasks he had set them.

Hours passed and the paperwork was almost all complete, while most of the office had been painted. Jiraiya and Tsunade both swore they would never again touch each other, not even if their lives depended on it after this 'training' was over.

Orochimaru sighed as the pen finally ran out of ink. He reached to the side for the drawer he knew their _sensei_ kept extra pens in, but frowned as it instead revealed a small book stuffed on top of the writing utensils. Picking the book up and leafing through it, the frown grew more and more pronounced.

"Tsunade! Jiraiya!" he barked, eyes shifting to look at the two. "Check this out."

Again they came and gathered around the desk, this time reading from the book.

"The two fools were ordered to paint the room in circles?" Tsunade growled out as she read a passage.

"The king sat indolently back and watched?" Jiraiya deadpanned.

"_Sensei_ has been playing us for fools," Orochimaru hissed, eyes shooting around the room.

In his secret compartment, Sarutobi suddenly sat up, sensing monstrous killing intent.

The door to the room opened, revealing three extremely pissed _jounin_. "_Sensei_…" Tsunade grinned a malicious smile as she cracked her knuckles threateningly.

"I can explain," Sarutobi began weakly as snakes dragged him out of the room.

"Oh I don't think that will be necessary," Jiraiya commented, as he lowered his center of gravity.

Ten seconds later the _Sandaime Hokage_, leader of the village and one of the most respected men in the world, shot out his own window short a few articles of clothing, followed by three teenagers screaming in unadulterated rage.


	146. For the Fight

Dare from Ella Unlimited - Missions are what drives few shinobi, most fight for their family, their love, or their life. Sometimes all three. But there is the rare number, maybe one in every generation, fights because they want to. This could be anyone; Sauske, Orochi, Naruto, anyone.

As for my choice of character...I considered almost every single one, discarding those I didn't want to write or who wouldn't be suited. I was oddly tempted to do Shino, but decided against it eventually. Kiba wouldn't fit at all despite his rash attitude because of Akamaru. So I eventually ended up with Tenten. Who knows? Maybe she does love the fight!

You know, this really reminds me of Zaraki Kenpachi from Bleach O.O

* * *

For the Fight

She lived for the fight.

For the glory, the strain, the adrenaline rush, and most of all the sense of power when he defeated an enemy.

She needed no reason to fight but the fight itself – no people to protect, no goal to accomplish, no reason to live save for fighting the battle. She didn't care if he died after the battle was over, as long as he enjoyed the process itself.

So when the _Kumo_ _shinobi_ shot past, she needed no order to go chase.

She pursued them, pushing her body to the limits, catching up to the three in minutes. With a flick of her wrist, three _kunai_ were pinned in the trees next to their heads, and her opponents turned to face her.

"Well well, look at what we have here," commented the one in the middle, a hulking man who was shaved bald. "One lone little girl, thinking she can take us all out!" He easily dodged two more _kunai_ she sent at him, letting them bury themselves in the tree behind his body.

"Oh," chirped the only lady of the group from the left. "Do you want to die, sweetie?" Her eyes were hard in direct contrast to the sickly sweetness of her tone.

"I don't think I'll be the one dying," Tenten grinned at the three. "And even if I do, you had better make the fight worth it!"

She twirled on the spot and disappeared, a spray of weapons shooting out of the point she had just occupied. Most were easily deflected but a few got through, distracting her enemies long enough they didn't notice the rain of weapons from above as well until it was almost too late.

The steel went through the lady while the other two men dodged, cursing.

"We won't be that easy to beat dear," came that same sweet voice from behind Tenten, and with a quick backflip and flick of her wrist, the brunette was out of the tree and on her way to the ground after sending a _shuriken _to prevent pursuit.

Upon landing she whipped around, a bo staff appearing in her hand to block the sword the third man swung at her. Even with the deflection she suffered a shallow slice along her forearm.

"Good," she grinned at the man who looked temporarily confused. Then she was gone again, leaving him staring bewildered at the spot before spinning around to search for her. "You have drawn first blood," her voice echoed through the trees. "Now it's my turn."

From behind where the first man still stood fire exploded, sending wooden shrapnel shooting into his back and killing the man instantly. Another such explosion came from where the woman had previously been in the tree, again passing through her body harmlessly. And the last man…he flung his sword away barely half a second before it combusted in midair.

"Your move."

She couldn't stop the grin spreading across her features as she waited, an anticipation she only let herself feel when fighting only for herself, not for anyone else. Her teammates would never believe it of her.

The whisper of movement to her left had her jumping back and right, then ducking and rolling as a stream of water shot right where her torso would have been. "Not bad!"

"We can do better than just not bad," hissed the remaining male as he grabbed her from behind, pinning her arms to her sides.

"No, I don't think you can!" Tenten chirped, right before she used a _kawarimi _and replaced herself with a log. Complete with exploding tag. The resultant fireball took down a few of the trees in the surrounding area.

"Down to one!" she sang out to the forest. "And barely a scratch on me! I could hardly call this a fight."

Then she was gone from the above ground, sucked under the earth by a _jutsu_. _Better,_ she thought to herself, fighting to free her body from the oppressive wetness around it. She sensed above her for something to switch with, and poofed out of the ground. Right into a series of traps.

Acrobatic flips and dodges ensued to avoid the projectiles, but over half of them hit. The rush of heat on her back was her only warning of the fire _jutsu_ that slammed her back into the tree.

The woman shimmered out of the air, right in front of Tenten. Her once pretty face was contorted with rage. "You're dead," she snarled, all sweetness dropped.

"No. You are." Weapons shot out of the seal she held in front of her, skewering the enemy.

The fight was over, and she had won. Once again the rush of power swept through her, elation and joy at the battle combining into one emotion.

When she reported back to her team at the designated point, they took in her blood and earth streaked clothing, the scratches and wounds on her body.

"Tenten-_san_, are you okay?" Lee, ever courteous asked.

"This? It's nothing," she replied easily, looking down at her body. _Just proof of a good battle. If you survive to walk away, that just leaves you time to fight another!_


	147. Cigarettes and Angry Women

Dared by addster - Asumas' mom catches him trying a cigarette for the first time and screams bloody murder at him. Sarutobi doesn't go too crazy. So instead of going bonkers like his wife, he enlists the help of his medic student to explain the dangers of smoking. Tsunade comes in, half asleep (not to mention a tad hung-over), not really wanting to do anything, but starts explaining the dangers, begrudgingly at best. Biwako, seeing the girls' heart isn't in it, starts yelling at her, and Tsunade starts yelling back, all while the two boys watch on in horror, scooting Sarutobis' chair back until it hits the wall, the both of them just wanting to disappear.

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Cigarettes and Angry Women

Biwako stared at her thirteen year old son where he leaned against the side of their house, blinking furiously. Her mouth flopped open twice before she found her voice. "_Asuma!_"

The boy jumped, then turned scared eyes on his mother. "Yeah…?"

"What are you _doing?_" Her voice was at least two octaves higher than normal, and a quivering finger pointed at the – thing – sticking out of his mouth.

"I'm…" he rubbed at the back of his head, trying to think of a way to explain without getting his body torn limb from limb.

The yells brought his father to the door, and he stared at his wife and son, confused. "What's wrong?"

"_Your son_," Biwako rounded on her husband, "is smoking._ Smoking!_"

Hiruzen raised an eyebrow at Asuma who had the grace to look chagrined, even as the white cylinder hung loosely from his mouth. "There's a first time for everything, dear," he told his wife calmly. It didn't have the desired effect.

"He's thirteen, only _thirteen_ Hiruzen! There is no way he understands the complications smoking can cause, the addiction, the – " She ranted on for over ten minutes as both males stood there awkwardly, Asuma with his hand stuck in his pockets as he slumped against the wall, taking discreet drags on his cigarette, and Hiruzen leaning against the door.

As she trailed off to take another breath her husband smoothly interrupted. "How about I bring Tsunade by to tell him all about the medical dangers of smoking. Then it will be Asuma's choice whether he decides to continue or not."

Biwako was only mollified for a moment before she sent a piercing glare at her husband. "Fine. Bring her by. But I'm warning you…" the threat trailed off unspecified.

In a flicker Hiruzen was gone to fetch his blonde student. He knocked on her door, politely at first, then louder when he received no answer. "Tsunade-_chan_, I know you're in there!" he called through the wood, and heard a faint groan. "Tsunade-_chan_!"

"Stop that infernal banging!" came back a shout as shuffling footsteps made their way towards the door. With a vicious jerk the door opened, revealing a sleep-mussed Tsunade with slightly red eyes and a pissed off expression. "Do you know what _time_ it is?"

"Just after ten," Hiruzen raised an eyebrow at his student's state. "Out drinking with Jiraiya again?"

"Yeah," she muttered as she took in the brightness of the sky outside. "What do you need _sensei_?"

"Biwako is more than a bit annoyed Asuma has begun smoking," the man began delicately. "Perhaps you could come by and explain to him the dangers of smoking?"

"Ggrghh…" Tsunade mumbled under her breath. "Now?"

"If you wouldn't mind."

She knew it wasn't her choice. "Fine. Give me ten minutes." The door was shut firmly in his face.

Hiruzen rubbed a hand over his face. Dealing with Tsunade in a good mood was hard enough, let alone when she was a bit hung over. It was going to be an interesting morning. He only hoped he survived it.

Half an hour later all four were gathered in the Sarutobi kitchen; Biwako leaning against the sink, Hiruzen and Asuma sitting at the table, and Tsunade standing in the center of the room facing the table, arms crossed and looking bored.

"So…" the blonde woman drawled, irritation plain upon her face. "Cigarettes. Full of tobacco, wrapped in white paper. Let off secondhand smoke that can be harmful to others. Can cause cancer. Ruins your lungs. Turns your teeth yellow. Think I covered it all?" she turned to Biwako.

The woman was nearly apoplectic with rage as she watched Tsunade's 'performance'. "Take this seriously!" she raged at the blonde woman, stalking forward. "This is my son's _life _we're talking about!"

"Yeah?" Tsunade shot back, head banging and not helping her temper at all. "His life, _his choice_! The moment he became a _genin_ he became an adult!"

"_He's my son_. And because of that I will keep him from _killing himself! _So kindly _help me_ to impress upon him the dangers of smoking; it _will_ kill him!"

"If he's lucky he'll live long enough for _that to happen_!" Tsunade yelled, hands clenching to keep from grabbing and throwing anything. She really didn't want to see her _sensei's_ reaction if she destroyed his house. "He's a _shinobi_ now! Chances are he'll die before he's thirty, so let him do _what he wants_!"

Fire seemed to shoot out of Biwako's eyes as she took another two steps closer to the woman. "And if I can stop that _I will!_"

Unnoticed by the two women Asuma and Hiruzen scooted away from the table, moving chairs slowly so as not to make any noise. They had no desire to draw the womens' ire.

"Dad, are they all like that?" the boy whispered almost soundlessly to his father as he tapped out another cigarette and stuck it in his mouth.

"Yeah," Hiruzen muttered back, keeping a watchful eye on the two as his student and wife went at it. "Never piss off a woman, Asuma. You'll be lucky to survive the explosion.

Just then Biwako turned towards the two males, and her eyes widened with even more rage upon seeing the cigarette. "_Sarutobi Asuma!"_

"Time to go!" Hiruzen grabbed his son by the back of his shirt and used _shunshin _to get out of there and save both their asses.


	148. Child Dreams

There is a HUGE awesome thunderstorm happening outside right now, and it's dark here...so I can't get the pictures of it I want because the cameras are complaining of not enough light! *pouts* BUT I went outside and in thirty seconds I was soaked. It makes me happy. Huge branches of lightning. Roaring cracks of thunder. Drenching torrents of rain. I'm in heaven. =)

Thunderstorm aside, thanks to freewolf17 for the idea for this drabble!

* * *

Child Dreams

Tsunade yawned, rolling over lazily in the large bed furnished just for the _Hokage_. Eyes blinked sleepily at the ceiling as it glowed dimly in the low lights she lit to let her eyes adjust to the light in the morning. It was barely dawn; she was in for a long tiring day of paperwork and lying on the fluffy mattress like a cloud below her back was like heaven.

With an internal groan, the blonde woman pushed herself into an upright position and glared at the world at large. She didn't _want _to wake up and get up.

"Stupid job," she mumbled under her breath as she pushed back the covers. "Stupid sun, stupid paperwork."

Thumping on her door drew the glare to there. "Tsunade-_sama_! Time to work!"

Silently snarling, Tsunade slid off the comfortable bed, sending one more longing glance back at it. It took the work of five minutes to get ready for the day, slipping her loose green coat over her shoulders and heeled sandals onto her feet.

"Shizune!" she snapped as she brushed briskly past her assistant outside the door. "I want _sake _this morning." As the raven opened her mouth to protest, she added, "_Don't_ argue with me on this one." Shizune's mouth snapped closed as she stared after her mentor.

"Today is only going to be halfway bearable even with _sake_," the blonde muttered to herself as she sat down at the desk, eyeing the mountains of homework with a wary look.

Two hours gone and only one pile later, Tsunade sat back with a sigh, arms stretching behind her head as she arched backward. Ambient noises flowed in through her window – the yells of vendors, the murmur of conversations, and the squeals of children.

She frowned at the last. What if? What if she and Dan…or even she and Jiraiya, had had children?

The thought startled her. She had never really considered children after Dan and Nawaki died – they would have just been another tie that could hurt her. But now…she wondered what kind of mother she could have been, the kids she could have had.

Resting her elbows on the wooden desk, Tsunade placed her chin on folded hands and stared at a spot above the door opposite her.

With either of the men, no doubt the children would have had pale hair - blonde, lilac, or white. Straight and flat if they were Dan's, and probably spiky if from Jiraiya. She grinned as she pictured a kid with a headful of spiky white hair like the toad _sannin_ had had in his youth, almost bigger than his head.

Their tempers could have been a mix of Tsunade's violent one and Dan's serene calmness, or – she shuddered – that of both _sannin_, no doubt a volatile combination.

Would she have spoiled them, or been harsh? By the time she and Shizune had taken off around the world, the girl had been over the age of eight, and self-sufficient. Tsunade herself hadn't been in the greatest mindset at the time and regarded the younger girl more as someone to rely on rather than someone to take care of. If a child had been dependent on her since birth, how would she have acted?

She supposed she would be a doting mother. After all she had practice with Nawaki, raising her brother after her parents had died. But a child of her own blood rather than a sibling? A whole different situation.

With the money from the Senju inheritance, the child could have had anything they wanted, although Tsunade supposed she would have put some limits on what they had. Would she have continued to be a _kunoichi_? She couldn't imagine giving up the life for anything, but then she didn't have anyone dependent on her.

A picture flashed into Tsunade's head of herself spinning around in a circle, blonde hair flying out behind her in its customary two pigtails, and a child hoisted in her arms, expressions of glee on both their faces.

But it didn't exist.

Tsunade sighed as she stood up and looked out her grand window. Below a mother pushed a baby in a stroller, a toddler perched on a father's shoulders pointed excitedly at a butterfly, and a pair of five year olds wove between the crowds, playing tag.

Well, if she couldn't have a child of her own, at least she could protect the village's future generation with all she had.


	149. A Thunderstorm

I apologize to addster if I kind of stole your thunder by also writing on this topic, but reading your chapter today really made me want to write about this event in canon once again. That and I read it while sitting out in a thunderstorm near a creek about to engage in an event of remembrance today, and so I am not capable of writing a happy drabble.

6/17/2011. Happy 42nd Birthday Mr. Savage.

* * *

A Thunderstorm

Thunder crashed and boomed as a jagged branch of lightning lit up the room for a moment before letting everything fade back into shadow.

Tsunade stared at the shadow that had been left behind by the flash, her silhouette against the window as she stood in front of it facing the room.

A shapeless form, a pillar of darkness against a lighted window displayed on the floor. It didn't show anything reflected upon face or body, only her outline. Not the tear tracks running down her cheeks, not her crossed arms to keep her body from shaking, not the way her shoulders hunched as if to protect herself from even more pain.

And especially not the emotional turmoil ripping her up inside.

_What had she done?_

Arms tightened even further across her torso and Tsunade stared at the motionless darkness in front of her, her nonexistent shadow. With another flash, she saw the room light up once more, revealing that other representation of herself. A Nara might know what to do with that shadow, but the blonde woman stared numbly at it as the blackness faded back in once more, swallowing her shadow as it had her soul.

_A suicide mission. I let him go on a suicide mission._

The only person who knew her better than herself, had always known her, and she had _let him go_. It was all her fault.

She stumbled backwards against the wall, sliding down it to the time of another thunder boom. She didn't care that her hair was pulled loose of her customary ponytails, that her green jacket snagged and fell off her shoulders as she sat there.

_He told me he loved me and I let him leave._

How could she live with herself, knowing she had let the last person she loved possibly go to his death? Well, not the last person she loved – after all, Naruto and Shizune still lived – but the last person from her childhood, who knew who Tsunade had been before her heart had been ripped up and ground into pieces by time and fate.

Another flash of lightning and the tracks of rain on the window became visible, spread across the floor as though the room itself were crying. She could hear the light pings off the window as well as the constant noise of droplets falling in a never ending stream from the sky.

_Jiraiya, wherever you are, you better stay safe and come back to me, hear?_

* * *

At the border to _Ame_, Jiraiya paused and looked up at the sky. Unlike the never ending rain in the country in front of him, the rain falling from the sky now was clean, full of sorrow and regret.

_I wonder if it's falling in Konoha right now. Tsunade, are you crying?_ It wouldn't surprise him. It had twisted both of their hearts for him to leave, but they both knew his duty. To protect Konoha, future generations, and the world. They needed to know more about Akatsuki.

The roll of thunder and crash of lightning wasn't echoed across the border in _Ame_, and Jiraiya shivered as more rain drenched him. It was as though a warning of doom, warning him not to go through with his mission.

He didn't have a choice, not really.

_Tsunade, I love you._ He sent the thought towards Konoha, and another branch of lightning flashed as though it were his messenger.

With one more longing glance back the way he had come, Jiraiya crossed the border into _Ame_ for what would be a meeting with destiny.


	150. Dreams and Lullabies

Dreams and Lullabies

"Scoop up my sorrows and fly them away," Tsunade sang to herself softly as she sat on the roof of her building, staring up at the stars. "Bring them back tomorrow and deal another day…"

Her knees came up and she wrapped slender arms around them, rocking back and forth slightly as she sang. "In the early morning fly, fly away. Come back in the evening, settle down to stay."

A baritone voice took up the next part, floating over the roof to where Tsunade sat. "Lie in wait for the sunset, beyond the horizon. Rise with the moon, shine with the stars…"

"Hello Jiraiya."

"I didn't expect to see you up here, _hime_," the white-haired man stated, sitting down fluidly next to the woman on the roof. "It's a bit late to be awake, no?"

"I couldn't sleep," she admitted, not looking at him. Tsunade's amber eyes were fixated on the stars, while her blonde hair looked even paler in the moonlight, almost shining with internal light.

"Mmm," he agreed, lying back on the roof and lacing fingers behind his head. "You were singing an old lullaby. Haven't heard it since we were children."

"I…used to sing it to Nawaki when he couldn't sleep. I thought it would help."

From his position on the roof the sky seemed to go on forever, stars studded through the infinite blackness like tiny points of light – like dreams. "Big Dipper, huh? Did you ever find it?"

It was a myth that if you could see the Big Dipper constellation while singing its song, your deepest wish would come true. To date, no one had ever found it, or if they had they weren't talking.

She shook her head mutely negative, eyes not leaving the sky above. "Not for lack of trying."

"Well you can't leave the song unfinished," Jiraiya prompted her lightly. "Especially not in the middle of a verse."

She gave a hoarse laugh, more of a whimper if he wanted to be truthful, but began again. "Lie in wait for the sunset, beyond the horizon." His voice joined in on the next line. "Rise with the moon, shine with the stars. Stand still, look up at the sky. Spin around in a circle and let your soul fly."

She took a deep breath before beginning the last two verses. "High up in the sky, our dreams fly by. Waiting for us, to reach out and catch them." Her own voice caught at the phrase. If only.

Jiraiya continued it for here when she couldn't sing. "As I go to sleep, I dream of that peace. The quiet of the stars, and finally find release."

He sat up and curled an arm around his teammate's shaking shoulders, worried when she didn't shrug it off. Instead, she leaned into him for comfort, silent tears streaming down her face. But her watery eyes never strayed from the stars, always searching for that mythical constellation.

The tears looked like little diamonds on her cheeks, mirroring the stars above. He thought she had never looked more beautiful.

"You'll find it, _hime_. And when you do, all your dreams will come true."


	151. Worked to the Bone

I don't know what this one is doing.

* * *

Worked to the Bone

Tsunade sighed, rubbing a weary hand over her tired face. Long hours and longer days wore her out faster than anything else.

"_Shishou_?" Sakura approached the _Hokage_ tentatively, a clipboard held in her hands. "We need you on floor five."

With a deep breath and one more rub, Tsunade fixed her eyes on her pink haired student. "Which ward?" she asked briskly, walking towards the younger woman.

Sakura turned to match steps, checking the clipboard. "Ward four. Shizune-_san_ has run into some trouble with a surgery." Her own eyes were tired from the sixteen hour shifts all medics were required to work. "I'll be making rounds on floor three."

At the stairs the women parted, Tsunade hurrying up the steep steps towards the newest crisis. It was never ending. While she may push her staff hard, no one in the hospital had longer hours than she herself. On top of her own eighteen hour shifts, mostly spent dealing with whatever medical crises she was summoned to, she also had to spend at least two hours a day working the paperwork that kept the village running. She honestly didn't know how she kept herself going. Only that she had to.

The hospital was filling up with various _shinobi_ from the front lines – poisoned, life threatening injuries, system failures, and whatever variations of fate had decided to throw at them.

After getting her hands dirty helping Shizune with her surgery – the man her apprentice had been working on had gone into cardiac arrest, and a second pair of hands was required to stabilize him. Even at that they had almost lost him as blood refused to stop flowing.

Not for the first time – nor for the last – Tsunade was glad she had gotten over her hemophobia; otherwise most of their forces would be seriously maimed, possibly dead. Even at that, she couldn't keep from scrubbing her hands at least three times an hour, sure they were going to be permanently stained red.

Five doctors ran past her where she stood in the hall, hurrying towards the entrance. "Code red!" one called over his shoulder to her. "Double emergency on floor two!" In a second Tsunade was running after them, high heels clacking against the floor.

Never a point of rest for the weary.

It was after three in the morning when Tsunade stumbled into her room, shedding her green jacket and letting it fall onto the floor. Her high heels slid off her feet two feet before her bed, and with a barely audible moan the blonde woman fell onto her bed, immediately relaxing into its softness.

Knowing she would have to be up in three hours, eyelids closed over weary amber eyes, trying to catch as much rest as she could get.

Instead, images haunted her brain, flashing before her eyes despite the darkness. The man gasping for air as bloody bubbles formed at the corners of his mouth. The woman crying out with pain as she curled around a deep gash in her abdomen, hands red with her own blood. A body, covered in a white sheet, being wheeled along a corridor; it was too late.

With a gasp, Tsunade's eyes snapped open once more, staring unseeing at the ceiling. Sleep wouldn't come, not as long as the nightmares kept it away.

She wouldn't sleep.

Eyes wide, Tsunade turned onto her side, pulling the coverlet tighter around her shoulders. They fixed on a point across from her on the wall, and despite the exhaustion in her body, refused to close.

Dawn came all too soon, and with a sigh Tsunade threw off the comforter, preparing herself for another grueling day.


	152. Rush to the Hospital

Thanks to addster for suggesting the topic.

* * *

Rush to the Hospital

Tsunade was working in her office when she heard the commotion down below. The entrance to the hospital wasn't that far from the _Hokage_ tower, and when she got up to look out the wall of windows behind her desk, amber eyes caught on to the group of people running towards the hospital full pelt. Out in front was a waiting stretcher with medical personnel gathered around it.

Blonde eyebrows knit over narrowed eyes. Who was coming in that was so urgent? A flash of yellow and orange in a break in the group had a bolt of fear lancing straight to the pit of her stomach.

In a flash Tsunade was out of her office, green coat flapping behind her from the pace of her travel. Anyone who was in her way either got out of her way or was shoved. She was relatively sure she had broken the doors to the tower, but couldn't find it in herself to care.

By the time the _Hokage_ reached the hospital, the patient had been taken inside. Bursting into the atrium her head turned wildly, blonde hair flying out behind her, Tsunade caught sight of Kakashi and Yamato leaning against the wall.

"Where is he?" she ground out, stalking over to the two. Wrath spilled from her eyes like fire, daring them to lie.

"Sakura took charge of him," Kakashi answered her blithely, seemingly calm. But a perceptive person could see the tension at the corner of his one visible eye, in the line of his shoulders, and the distinct downturn of his mouth behind his mask.

"Tsunade-_sama_!" Shizune came hurrying up to the woman, worry apparent in her eyes. "Naruto is – "

"I know," she cut her assistant off rudely. "_Where?_"

The raven gulped; the only other time she had seen Tsunade this angry was right after Dan's death. "Floor two, surgery room four."

In a rush of wind the _Hokage_ was gone, whipping the clothing of those left behind. She appeared outside the room and, disregarding the red light, thrust both doors open, striding in.

Sakura didn't even look up from where she hovered over her teammate, both hands glowing a brilliant green. "I need you on his stomach," she told her mentor tersely. "Internal bleeding, I can't find the cause."

Grimly Tsunade moved forward, passing Naruto's unconscious face as she did so. There were lines of pain marring the normal smoothness, and his eyes were scrunched shut. There were cuts and bruises all over his cheeks and forehead, and a long scratch running down his neck.

She couldn't think about it now. Placing her hands over his abdomen, she channeled diagnostic _chakra_ into them, creating a bluish glow.

She could feel the blood pooling under the skin, creating a pocket of life liquid that shouldn't exist. Her _chakra_ pulsed through it, seeking the leak in his veins or organs that created the abnormality. After two minutes of searching, she found it; a nick in one of the main arteries that ran along parallel to Naruto's spine, leaking blood into places it shouldn't be. She patched it up easily, then turned her attention to getting rid of the excess blood. But it continued to flow; another leak must also exist.

Naruto began to stir, little whimpers of pain escaping his lips. Red fire began to creep out of his skin, steam hissing up where it covered cuts and bruises. It even crept into his stomach, fighting Tsunade's power where it still searched.

Her hands ceased to channel _chakra_, ripping open the jacket still covering his stomach. In plain view on the flesh was the black seal, pulsing with a dull red light.

Just then, Naruto _screamed_. It was full of pain, agony, and other emotions Tsunade didn't care to identify. Sakura stumbled back from his body, stunned, as it tightened like a bow, arching off the bed. A red haze surrounded him, but instead of helping him it began to burn the boy's body.

Tsunade stared at the sight, eyes wide as she took it in. _Her boy was hurting_.

_Chakra_ welled up inside her core, from where she didn't know, but it filled her with a warm tingling. _Her boy was hurting_. She lost it.

With a scream of her own, power surged out of Tsunade. It battled the red fire surrounding Naruto, beating it back into the seal on his stomach. Where the green and red mixed it became golden, surrounding the blond boy like a cloud.

Everywhere it touched Naruto's wounds healed, knitting rapidly until they ceased to exist without even a scar. Some trickled into his mouth and he began to glow from within, a gold bridge connecting him to Tsunade.

The whole thing lasted not ten seconds, then Tsunade collapsed to the ground, as unconscious as Naruto. Sakura hesitantly approached first her mentor, then Naruto, checking that both were alive. The _Hokage_ was exhausted and _chakra_ depleted, but otherwise fine. Nothing at all was wrong with Naruto.

With a sigh she turned off the red light that meant a surgery was in process and summoned Shizune.

When Tsunade woke up, blinking at the bright light, the first thing she noticed was a white ceiling. Upon turning her head, she saw a bed next to hers, and noticed the white lump resting on it.

"You're awake!" a cheery voice exclaimed, and her eyes traveled upwards to see a thatch of blond hair.

"Are you alright?" were the first words out of her mouth, concern lacing them.

Naruto blushed pink, rubbing at the back of his head with his hand. "Yeah, thanks to you. Sakura told me you healed me completely."

"I don't know how I did it," Tsunade told him honestly, but her eyes never left his. "I don't know what it was."

"I don't care what it was. I'm alive thanks to you."

Tsunade scowled at that reminder. "Don't go getting to beat up!" she reproved him harshly. "I won't always be around to save you!"

"I promise," Naruto told her seriously, blue eyes meeting amber. Then he grinned again. "Besides, as long as you _are _here, I'll always be fine when I wake up!"

Her roar of "Naruto!" shook the hospital, as did the impact of a body into a wall.


	153. Stained

So. Exhausted. I want this week to be over.

This is a bit dark, be warned. Thank you to Kaiser969 for the topic.

* * *

Stained

It was dark in front of her. Soundless. Her target lay on the bed, sleeping soundly.

The nine year old's eyes were narrowed into almost golden slits, fixated on the lump in the covers. Small fingers grasped the _kunai_, fingering its handle to make sure her grip was sound.

Before she could lose her nerve, both hand and steel darted out, striking swiftly and precisely. A soft sigh, a gush of crimson, and the man went even limper if possible.

His breathing was no longer audible.

Tsunade stared at where her hand was clinging to the handle – a handle attached to the weapon that just ended a man's life.

With a soft cry she stumbled back, hand letting go of the _kunai_ in a spasm. She had just made her first kill. The man lying on the bed would no longer wake up, eat, drink, talk to anyone, make friends, make enemies…

Her mind raced through the consequences of her action. The man's family – she knew he had one – would never see him again. Would never laugh with him. She had taken a husband, a father, a son, from the lives of many. Others may not exist because of what she had done…some may die because he wasn't there to prevent it.

She stared at her hands, seeing them as though from a stranger's view. Small, ten fingers, small scars marking them from many failed attempts at smashing rocks and the ground. Clean.

No, not clean. Dirty. Forever stained. Stained with someone's blood. Somehow she knew no matter how long and hard she scrubbed, they would never be clean again. Red.

She knew she had to retrieve the weapon. _Leave no trace_. Steeling herself, Tsunade crept forward on cat-soft feet, making no sound as she had been trained. Her hand reached out, trembling. When she touched the handle lightly it moved, and _so did he_.

With a squeak she darted backwards once more, not wanting to be anywhere near the cadaver. The body collapsed forward onto his stomach, leaving the _kunai_ in his back sticking straight up like a marker. A gruesome testament to death.

She had to get it. Muscles tensed, then in a blur she retrieved the weapon and sped out of the room, holding it as far away from her as possible. It too was stained red. The moment she got outside she made a beeline for the rendezvous point, barely daring to breath or look to the side.

All three males of her team were waiting there, having sent her in as the stealthiest.

"Is it done?" Jiraiya asked eagerly the moment the blonde girl appeared. He had wanted to be the one to do the mission only to be told firmly he would set off the alarms the moment he set foot inside.

With a grimace of revulsion Tsunade sent the _kunai_ flying away from her, to bury itself in the dirt at Jiraiya's feet.

As the boy protested – "Hey, what was that for!" – Sarutobi leaned forward to pick up the weapon gravely.

Serious eyes looked towards the trembling girl, almost imperceptible shivers wracking her body. All he received was a nod. It was all he needed. "It is done."

Tsunade blinked, and for a moment all she saw was the man's face, tripled over her teammates', staring back at her. She shook her head and when she looked again, they were staring at her worriedly.

"Tsunade-_chan_?" Orochimaru asked hesitantly, reaching a hand out to her.

The blonde girl flinched back violently, staring at his hand as though it revolted her.

Gently Sarutobi placed his own hand on the boy's arm, lowering it. "Leave it." Without looking at Tsunade he told his team, "Let's go."

She was grateful as she took up the position of rearguard, staring at her hands blankly. She had made her first kill. She was a murderer. She would have to do it again. She was a murderer.


	154. Where and Why

May be a bit confusing.

* * *

Where and Why

Dreams.

They flowed around her like water and escaped her grasp like smoke from a candle, twitching just out of range or disintegrating.

Images barraged her, colors and sounds mixing into a befuddling mess that abused her eyes and ears. But it seemed as though her eyelids were glued open and her hands to her sides – there was nothing she could do. The sounds rose in a crescendo and the colors in an ever faster whirlwind to torture her, until she was sure she couldn't stand it anymore.

The odd sensation of something light, wet, and small hitting her face startled her. Everything suddenly went dark and silent. Tsunade was quite sure she was standing up, so how was it something that felt so like a raindrop felt as though it had hit her horizontally?

A second, then a third drop struck her face, at the same odd angle. With a suddenness that surprised Tsunade, the world turned on end. Suddenly she was lying flat on her back, a thin beam of light lancing towards her in conjunction with many many more raindrops.

Tsunade's eyelids fluttered open slowly, trying to take in the grey light around her. They immediately closed as rain fell into her eyes. She could feel wetness trickling over her face, a testament to how long she had been laying there. The ground under her was soggy and her clothes were soaked clean through.

A tremor wracked her body, making the blonde woman aware of exactly how _cold_ she was. Still keeping her eyes closed, Tsunade sat up tentatively, wincing at the cold movement of mud underneath her legs and the pounding headache the action gave her.

Her wet clothing stuck to her skin, and wet hair dripped water down her face. The last thing she remembered was being on the battlefield…her eyes snapped open at that. _Battlefield._

She could not hear the clink of weapons, the roar of _jutsu_, or even the fleshy smacks of _taijutsu_. Where _was _everyone? She had been on a team. Where were they?

With another wince she got up, first crouching then slowly straightening. The forest around her was deafeningly silent, only broken by the hiss of falling rain rolling off leaves.

Looking around she saw absolutely no signs of how she came to be in the small clearing, none at all. With a mental shrug the blonde woman began walking forward, hissing under her breath as sore muscles protested the movement. She ignored them.

After ten minutes of a straight path with no signs of humans, she turned to her left. Another ten minutes and she would make another right angle turn. Maybe she'd get lucky. Tsunade scoffed at the notion. Luck had deserted her long ago.

It was on her fourth path that she found the first signs. A few slash marks in a tree, made by a steel weapon. A singed branch with all the leaves torn off.

A little further along there was a mud wall, a charred patch in the middle of the forest, and a series of holes. There were also a few indentations where bodies had once lain.

A bit of brushing at the leaves lying on the ground uncovered a _hitai-ate_. It _wasn't _of Konoha.

_So they won. Why did they leave me?_

Clutching the metal headband tightly Tsunade looked out, trying to see through the curtains of rain soaking her. _Where am I, where are they, and why did they leave me?_


	155. Lost

Just saw Wicked.

Oh.

My.

God.

That is all.

A continuation of the last one asked for by addster - thank you to Kaiser969 and addster for the ideas.

* * *

Lost

She didn't know where she was anymore. One tree blurred into another until they were a brown mass passing on either side of her body. Leaves provided no barrier, simply blowing away as she ran across branches.

Tsunade didn't notice when she fell to the ground, nor when she slowed down to barely walking. She was numb and disoriented.

In a trance, her legs moved in front of each other, sliding along the earthy ground. _Why? Why do we fight so, why are there wars? And the survivors – _she conveniently forgot she herself was a survivor, feeling closer to death than life – _the survivors are left behind to pick up the pieces and suffer. And what of the dead?_

Unseeing, unhearing, unfeeling, she made her way through the forest, one step after another. She didn't notice when the rain stopped, nor when night fell. She didn't notice the clear grass trail she was leaving behind in each clearing.

When the trees grew thicker together, knobby roots stuck up from the earth below. The blonde woman didn't notice when she stepped over them, nor when she tripped over the wood.

The first few times she tripped, Tsunade got mechanically to her feet. Mud splashed onto her clothing, face, and hands, smearing her skin with brown patches. The sixth time, she pitched forward, positioned to fall and crack her skull open on yet another root.

A pair of transparent hands came out and caught her shoulders, stopping her fall.

Blinking slowly, Tsunade looked up, up, and back, until her eyes met a pair of black ones, set in a stern face surrounded by long straight brown hair. "_Ojii-sama_?" she asked, confused; she sounded almost like a child. "You're dead."

"So I am," the man chuckled, righting his granddaughter so she stood up straight.

"Am I dead then?"

"No," Hashirama shook his head. "But you aren't far away from it."

"I would rather be dead," the blonde woman told her grandfather matter-of-factly. "It would be much simpler than living. And much nicer."

A flash of pain crossed the former _Hokage's_ face. "Don't say that. To live is the best gift anyone can have."

"Then why are there wars? Why do people insist on killing others? Better to be dead than alive through wars…"

Hashirama sighed. "Wars are a way of life to our people. The nations thrive on the death and destruction caused by them, and the money that flows into their coffers. But the _shinobi_ are the ones to suffer, even as they are the tools that create the problem. It is the survivors that have the hardest job of picking up the pieces and restoring order. Would you be a weakling and take the easy way out?" Serious eyes met hers. "I may have died, but I did not take the easy way."

Tsunade flushed red and didn't meet his eyes. "I…"

"You don't have to decide now," Hashirama reassured her. "But I refuse to let my only granddaughter die because her team thought her dead. Follow me."

He disappeared into the area in front of Tsunade, a sudden mist appearing to cloak him. Even as the blonde woman stepped forward quickly to try to catch him, the man was gone from view.

Under her foot the soggy ground suddenly became firm and hard, just like wood. Looking down, Tsunade saw a branch stretching out from underneath her feet, leading forward into the mist.

"Trust me," his voice echoed from all around her. "I won't let you fall."

Taking a deep breath Tsunade began to move forward, slowly regaining herself as she passed along the branch. She regained her spirit, her will of fire, and her sense of 'Tsunade'.

She noticed when the branches began to slope down, and she heard a murmur of voices.

"Here I leave you," Hashirama whispered in his granddaughter's ear. "Live for them, and live for yourself. Protect all you care for."

The mist disappeared as well as the branch, and suddenly Tsunade was standing on the edge of a clearing, looking at the rest of her team.

The three sat around the fire, subdued, and eating dinner.

"We shouldn't have left her," Jiraiya was saying. She doubted he knew the area around his eyes was red.

"We had no choice, they forced us away. We didn't even have time to find her," Orochimaru responded.

"I'm touched," Tsunade announced, taking one step into the circle of firelight. Red-ish glows danced along the angles of her face and neck, shadowing most of her features. The blonde hair that was struck turned orange and seemed to glow.

"Tsunade!" Jiraiya cried immediately, shooting up and embracing her in less than half a second. "You're alive!"

"No thanks to you," she replied half-seriously, shoving the man lightly. "Where were you?"

"Where were _you_?" Orochimaru countered, black eyes piercing. "We couldn't find you, for all we tried to search."

Blonde eyebrows furrowed as Tsunade tried to think. "I…don't know," she said finally. "But I think…someone was looking out for me."


	156. Team Gai

Shoutout to Ella Unlimited who wanted to see more Tenten stories. Hope you like this little one.

* * *

Team Gai

Tenten flew through the trees, executing an acrobatic aerial flip to dodge a punch thrown by Lee. Planting one foot firmly on the next branch in front of her, she lightly channeled _chakra_ and swung below, launching a barrage of _shuriken_ and _kunai_ at her teammate from her upside down position to deter him.

Lee dodged them all gracefully, then lunged towards her with the fire of the fight in his eyes.

She released the _chakra_ pooled in her foot to drop to the ground below, landing crouched and immediately jumping away from the site. Stringing out behind her was a spool of _shinobi_ wire, attached to a trap tag that would release a series of weapons the moment it was triggered.

Her unsuspecting teammate barged right into it, and was forced to use jump out of the way of more weapons. Even as he did so one caught his cheek, leaving a bloody scratch in its wake.

Immediately both combatants stopped, and Lee saluted the girl. "Again you best me!" he cried, then pumped his fist. "If I cannot beat you next round I will do one thousand pushups! And if I cannot complete those I will run twenty laps around the village! And if I cannot complete that – "

"You are so youthful Lee!" Gai cried, coming up behind his star pupil.

"Gai-_sensei_!" the spandex clad boy exclaimed, tears running down his face.

"Lee!"

"Gai-_sensei_!"

As the two males made to embrace, Tenten turned away covering her eyes with a hand, muttering under her breath, "I think I'm going to be sick."

Her other teammate joined her as she walked away, matching strides. "I do not understand why they continue to engage in such foolishness."

"Beats me," Tenten agreed, pulling out a _kunai_ to clean under her nails. "It was fine the first ten or twelve times, but five times a day? It's a bit much."

He grunted, a trademark Neji noise.

She sent him a side long look, exasperated at her teammate. "If you can't say something productive, don't say anything at all," she informed him, a bit testily.

He only grunted again, not deigning to look in her direction.

The brunette rolled her eyes and slung the _kunai_ she had been fiddling with at her teammate. He dodged without even seeming to notice it, and the metal thunked into the dirt beyond him point first.

"Tenten! That is a most unyouthful thing to do! You must not attack Neji-_kun_ outside of sparring!" Lee's scandalized yell came from behind the two.

"My beloved pupil is right!" Gai seconded, sprinting the few yards to catch up to his students. "To attack a fellow without provocation –"

"It was in _fun_," Tenten sighed, watching as her two identical teammates stared at her.

"Oh! I see!" Lee was the first to break the silence. "Even outside of training Tenten is working to improve Neji-_kun's_ reflexes at unexpected moments! How kind of you!" He flashed an award winning grin at the girl, who buried her face in her hands. "I shall do the same! And if I cannot improve within a week I shall…"

Tenten didn't stick around to hear the rest, muttering a hasty goodbye to the males of her team and beating a retreat. She loved them, she really did, but sometimes they could really try a person's patience.

Then again, a person always had a way to get back at them. Pulling out another _kunai_ and eyeing the point, Tenten began to plot…


	157. Sense if Style

Thanks to addster for the dare, and the phrase "lovely crimson butterfly" is all hers ;P

Honestly, that green spandex suit should be outlawed.

* * *

Sense of Style

Kurenai sighed, running fingers through her hair. She had just come from dropping her new student off at the Hyuuga Compound and hadn't liked arguing with Hiashi at all.

She pulled at the zipper of her _jounin_ vest, opening it to let some of the breeze wash over her body as she walked down the virtually empty street. Underneath was her red body suit, made of a nice breathable material.

From the opposite end of the street Gai came, jogging lightly – well, lightly for him, to most it would seem a fast paced torture. She waved at him, knowing him well enough to greet the man, although she had only been a _jounin_ for a few months.

Although that horrid green spandex suit of his with the orange leg warmers were enough to put any girl off wanting to acknowledge knowing the wearer…

His eyes lit as he noticed the woman, and he jogged – ran – up to her, matching her pace even as his knees continued to move up and down in place. "Yuuhi-_san_! Such a nice surprise!" Gai exclaimed, smiling brightly at her, almost enough to blind Kurenai.

She smiled back at him politely, wondering what to say next.

She was saved the trouble as he noticed what she was wearing. If possible his eyes widened even further, and the smile spread. "Yuuhi-_san! _I did not know you embraced the miracle of this amazing body suit!" He plucked demonstratively at his own green monstrosity.

Her own eyes widened in horror as she understood what he was implying. "No, no," she corrected him hastily, "I just –"

Gai flung an arm around her. "My lovely crimson butterfly! You have encompassed the glory and youthful power of the spring time of youth! Do not be afraid of acknowledging your commitment, wear it proudly!" He ended with his free arm outstretched, as though showing her a magnificent future.

Kurenai was sure her face matched her body suit and eyes, it was so hot. "No, I really don't…" she began weakly, only to be cut off again as Gai spun her around with the arm across her shoulders, making her face him – far too close to that glittering smile for her own comfort.

"No no, do not doubt your dedication, proclaim it to the world!" He yelled the words loud enough she was sure _Suna _could hear it, even far away as they were. She had to escape before anyone came out and found them there, whether she knew them or not.

With a deft movement, she shrugged out from under Gai's arm. "I appreciate the offer," she told him politely, patting the appendage. "But I really have to run, I'm late for an errand." Before he could formulate a response she disappeared into a side street, then used a _shunshin_ to get out of the area before he caught on. She refused to spend yet another moment being associated with that _horrid green suit_.

The moment the red-eyed woman got back to her apartment she tore off the offending red suit and tossed it in the trash distastefully. Never again would she be able to look at the thing without remembering that day. "Time for something new."

Riffling through her closet, she found a white dress with black stripes that looked as though it was woven strands of cloth, and a one sleeved loose red top to go underneath. Not at all resembling the sleeveless red body suit.

Pulling on her new outfit she examined it in the mirror. "Not half bad."

With one more shuddering glance at the waste bin, she grabbed the plastic container and took it out to dump, determined to get any reminders of that conversation out of her house immediately.

If anyone _ever_ adopted Gai's style, she would make sure to head for the hills.


	158. Can't I Kill Them?

So I wrote this one in a different style...and yes the title actually fits. ;P

Thanks to Ella Unlimited for the dare! - Kakashi liked his team. He really did or else he wouldn't have kept them on that first day. But right now. He wanted to kill. them. all. Earlier, when things were calm, Naruto had TWENTY bowls of ramen (humanly possible? Apparently so...), Sakura was obsessing over Sauske's wound (a tiny scratch from a thorn bush) and Sauske was simply cursing the world like he does so well. Meanwhile, they all seemed to find something to get angry about, and ended up yelling at each other. Giving Naruto a nasty black eye (Sakura's doing), Sauske an even nastier cut (Naruto's doing), and Sakura was crying for them all to stop; continually switching between sobbing and hitting both of them.

* * *

Can't I Kill Them?

Kakashi eyed his team, wondering if Tsunade would lock him up for killing the three children. Probably, more's the pity. He sighed and buried his nose back in his orange book, determined to ignore the squabbling teenagers.

It all started at Ichiraku's. Naruto had slurped down his normal helping of ramen – twenty bowls, how did the boy have _room_ for that amount of food! – when Sakura noticed a small cut on Sasuke's bare arm.

She immediately started fussing over the boy, who was busy cursing the whole world as per usual; they had all learned to ignore such antics from the want-to-be-avenger. Kakashi really hoped it was just a phase, otherwise no doubt the raven would be emo for the rest of his days, and completely unbearable to be around.

Sasuke ignored the pinkette, which just made her cry out louder about the scratch, which had been obtained from a rose bush. A simple everyday wound. But that didn't keep Sakura from acting as though it was life-threatening, and insisting Sasuke was 'soooo brave' for bearing with such pain. Honestly it was all Kakashi could do at that point to keep from slapping a piece of duct tape over her mouth.

But then Naruto noticed the attention Sakura was paying to Sasuke, which disturbed him from his after-ramen contentment. And of course he had to roll up his sleeve to show Sakura an even bigger cut than what Sasuke had, and insist he was _much_ braver than that _teme_ who was sitting there brooding.

Sakura acted predictably and punched Naruto in the head, sending the blond flying away from the ramen stand. All might have ended there except his foot caught Sasuke across the face as Naruto sailed by. _That_ snapped the emo boy out of his trance. In a flash Sasuke was up and chasing after Naruto, insisting that since the blond had thrown the first blow, he Sasuke was going to win.

Naruto met the challenge willingly, and the two began to throw insults at each other as they faced off. At that point Kakashi began edging away from the ramen stand, hoping nobody who knew the two boys were part of his team was watching the scene.

It got worse from there.

Sakura, enraged that Naruto had _dared_ to hit her precious 'Sasuke-_kun_', and proclaiming it in a voice that could have shattered glass – Kakashi kept a wary eye on the windows around in case it did just that – charged forward and punched Naruto in the head once more. Except she missed as he ducked.

Instead, she hit Sasuke by accident as he moved to hit Naruto as well and she immediately recoiled, horrified and spouting apologies. And of course Naruto just _had_ to tease her about such a mistake, earning himself another fist in the head as tears poured down Sakura's face, the girl begging for Sasuke's forgiveness.

Completely in character and as uncaring as always, Sasuke ignored her and punched at Naruto once more, causing Sakura to undergo a mood switch – the _jounin_ wasn't completely positive she didn't have a split personality with the split second mood changes she underwent – and the pinkette punched at _both _boys.

It was then Kakashi pulled out his book. Maybe if he ignored it all and went into his happy place it would _all disappear_. Maybe he would never have had a team to begin with, had never pissed off the _Sandaime_ in order to make the former _Hokage_ assign him the troublesome annoying children to begin with. It wasn't as though it was his fault! Honestly, it was an honest mistake to think the old man's book was his own, and a complete accident a _kunai_ had speared it! And how was he to know it was a pre-released copy, and the only one in the world?

The silver-haired man peeked out from behind his open book. Nope, it wasn't all a dream, more's the pity. Well, if they wouldn't just disappear, the best he could do was ignore them. And hope he wasn't required to pay the bills for anything they broke.

Maybe Tsunade would be forgiving if he just made them all disappear…


	159. Growing Up Generations

Starts odd...is odd. Then less odd.

* * *

Growing Up Generations

Tsunade twitched, fighting to not turn around and slap the annoying man who stood behind her. He was humming some tune under his breath, over and over and over…and over…

"Will you _stop?"_ she snapped, spinning on one heel to glare up into obsidian eyes. "It's been _hours_!"

Jiraiya grinned down at her, white teeth showing his glee. "Stop what?"

She rolled her eyes, not in the mood to play his game. "_Stop humming_. Or so help me I'll roll you up into a fishcake of my own and stuff you under a rock!"

Jiraiya simply grinned wider. "Can't handle the noise?"

"No, I can't," she shot back. "So if you know what's good for your health be quiet or I'll stuff your mouth full of rocks."

Something in her voice warned Jiraiya, and he closed his lips tight, not letting another sound escape.

With a sigh, the _Hokage_ turned back to the scene in front of her, watching as the newly returned Naruto and her own student Sakura fought against their former _sensei._ Honestly, the man had been away for over two years and was just as annoying as ever. If fifty years couldn't change him, there was no reason to think two more would do anything.

Naruto and Sakura were working together in some ploy to trap their _sensei_, teaming up against him by forcing him backwards and making him uncover his _sharingan_.

_They've both definitely gotten so much better than three years ago; they've come a long way from the snot nosed little gaki they used to be_, the blonde woman thought as she sat down on the branch she had been perched upon. _When Naruto used to be knocking on my door every day, and Sakura was putting her heart and soul into becoming not a burden to her team_.

Jiraiya leaned over her shoulder, placing his mouth close to her ear. "They've come a long way, haven't they?" he muttered, unconsciously echoing her own thoughts. "Together they're actually a match for Kakashi, and they haven't worked with each other for the past two years."

"You did good work with Naruto," she whispered back, not taking her eyes from the massive water dragon Kakashi had just summoned. "He doesn't blindly rush into a fight anymore."

She felt more than heard the rumble in his chest. "Took me more than a year to break him of that. Good thing he's a super-fast healer or you'd be seeing a lot more scars on him."

Blonde eyebrows knit. "What do you mean; you got into a lot of battles? Why wasn't I informed of these?"

Immediately his eyes widened and Jiraiya waved his hands in front of his chest in a placating gesture. "No no, nothing serious, not even worth being called fights!"

She sent him a suspicious glance but let the matter drop. "He's grown tall too. Where did you find that new outfit for him? And why is it _still _orange?"

Jiraiya's mouth twisted in a grimace. "I couldn't get him off the color. It was all I could do to find one that was mostly black instead of pure orange. Be glad he took it – that boy spent most of the first year looking for a larger version of his old garish neon beacon."

They shuddered in unison. That suit made him a walking bulls-eye. At least Gai and Lee, even if they wore hideous green jumpsuits, blended into the forests of Konoha.

"Sakura shaped up too from the rumors I heard around the countries," Jiraiya continued, watching as a black rubber fist punched into the ground and created a few more craters. "Seems she's surpassed Shizune and almost matched you in medical skills. And those punches? A miniature Tsunade." He grinned as he ducked her own half-hearted punch.

Tsunade felt her heart warm at the compliment to her teaching. It was those that mattered the most – not on her beauty, or her skills, although those were nice – but the impact she had on the next generation, creating others that could continue her work. "Given enough time she could surpass me as well."

Naruto and Sakura had disappeared into the trees as the two old teammates had talked, leaving Kakashi lounging in a clearing. Suddenly they appeared out of nowhere, forcing Kakashi back against a tree with their attacks, and Naruto appearing out of the air…giving spoilers about Jiraiya's new book?

As Sakura grabbed the bells, Tsunade turned to Jiraiya with disbelief and outrage on her face. "If you corrupted my boy, there won't even be enough of you _left_ to make a fishcake!"

Jiraiya swallowed, determined not to let her know until he had a very safe escape route that Naruto had actually _written_ one of his books.


	160. Bravery

Thanks to Kaiser969 for the idea of doing Kurenai as a kid with her team...(that I made up).

* * *

Bravery

Kurenai fought to keep from banging her head into the nearest tree trunk.

"Aw, c'mon Kurenai!" came the voice of her teammate, wheedling. "It'll be fun!"

"Yeah, fun!" echoed her other teammate, sounding overly excited. "Don't be a spoilsport!"

The red eyed girl whirled around, glaring at both boys. "No, that doesn't sound like fun at all; it sounds stupid! Why would you _want_ to willingly go into the Forest of Death anyway? It's for the _Chuunin_ Exams! We aren't near _chuunin _strength."

Both boys rolled their eyes simultaneously. "You got no pride Kurenai. If we go through there we'll be proved the strongest of the current _genin_! None of _them_ could make it through."

Benji nodded. "They'd haveta respect us! And if you aren't for us, you're against us."

The ten year old girl rolled her eyes as well. "And I'm telling you it's a stupid idea. Have you seen the snakes in that place? And those are the least of the terrors. If you go and get killed I'll have to get another set of teammates and it'll take me far too long to train them up into shape anyway."

"You didn't train us!" Aito protested immediately. "If anything, we trained you! You weren't no fun when you first joined, at you still ain't."

"Then you didn't train me," Kurenai shot back, crossing her arms. "Besides, more often than not you get into trouble for what you do, and I have to bail you out. Why would I want to get caught?"

"'Cause it's fun!" Benji yelled, taking a few running steps up a tree trunk and bouncing off it into a back flip. "We're going tonight, whether you come or not." He grabbed Aito's arm and towed the other boy away, neither looking over their shoulders at their teammate.

"Stupid boys with their stupid egos and pride and 'fun'…" Kurenai muttered under her breath, glaring at her tree. "I'm just going to have to bail them out _again_, and of course they won't acknowledge it." A low growl rumbled in her throat. "_Boys_." She slammed her head against the unyielding wood.

That night found her perched in a tree right outside the Forest of Death, waiting to see if her 'brave' teammates arrived to carry through with their plan. Soon enough the whispers began to make their way up.

"Are you sure we should do this?" Benji's voice floated on the air. "Without Kurenai…"

"We'll be fine." Aito was trying to sound brave, but she could hear the quaver in his voice. "After all, we're the strong ones on the team." It was all she could do to keep from breaking a branch at that and pegging it at his head.

"Yeah…" Benji was unconvinced.

"C'mon." Before either boy could lose their nerve they began climbing the fence of the Forest of Death. There were no alarm spells around it, because nobody was supposed to be stupid enough to go in. Obviously idiot boys were the exception.

Silent as a shadow Kurenai flickered over the fence, following her teammates as they made their way along huge tree branches, avoiding slimy leeches, wet patches of moss, and jumping at every sound.

"Shh!" Benji suddenly said, stopping and looking around nervously. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Aito whispered, catching his teammate's fear.

"That hissing…" Benji's eyes were wide as dinner plates. "I'm sure I heard it."

Suddenly Kurenai grinned. How to prove to her teammates she was superior…she let a sibilant sound slip out from between her lips, moving in a wide circle around where the two boys suddenly clasped each other.

"I hear it!" Aito's head was spinning around, eyes trying to pierce the darkness. His hand reached back to where his weapons pouch normally hung, then he started. "I don't have a _kunai! _Do you?"

Benji checked his pockets, and came up empty as well. "No!" His hands grasped harder at Aito's arm.

It was all Kurenai could do to keep herself from laughing at how scared her teammates were. She began to circle even tighter, hissing even louder. A small whimper began to issue from one of the boys, but she wasn't sure which.

Grinning widely, Kurenai moved behind them, hissing the loudest she could, and just as they both turned to scream – conveniently forgetting they both knew _ninjutsu_ and _taijutsu_ – she appeared in front of them.

"Hey there. Brave aren't you?"


	161. Third Generation Memories

I figured we needed to re-pull out that secret little drawer of the _Hokage_.

* * *

Third Generation Memories

Naruto, _Rokudaime Hokage _of _Konohagakure_, sighed as he sat back at his desk. Yet another long day of paperwork, no wonder Tsunade had tried to ditch so much.

He felt for a drawer on the right side of his desk absentmindedly, looking for something – he wasn't sure what. Instead his hand missed the drawers and went into the leg cavity of the furniture, hitting on a catch. With a snick, a piece of wood popped open on the right, revealing a secret hole.

Tsunade had showed him that little hide-away, telling him it had been used first by her grandfather, then her grand-uncle, _sensei_, and herself. Even his father had stored pictures of his mother in there.

Naruto had followed tradition, placing his most valuable and precious treasures in that drawer. The blond frowned. He hadn't looked at them in a long time.

Tan fingers reached out and into the cavity, feeling pieces of paper and wood inside. He pulled out the stack and looked at it.

On top was a wooden framed picture of his Team Seven. It was dusty on top of the glass, he brushed gentle fingers over it, revealing the figures. Sakura in the middle, fists held up to her chin in an expression of glee, himself on the right, determinedly looking away from the boy on the opposite side of Sakura, who was doing the exact same thing. Both were pouting and had their arms crossed. Behind the three new _genin_ was their _sensei_ Kakashi, one hand on each boy's head, and eye-smiling at the camera.

He placed the frame on his desk reverently.

The next picture brought a smile to his face. Jiraiya, Tsunade, and himself, taken by Shizune in Tanzaku, after the battle with Orochimaru. Just as in the previous picture, he looked like a hyperactive little blond boy, grinning widely with three whisker marks on each cheek. Behind him stood Jiraiya and Tsunade – Jiraiya looking happy and sending a cheesy wink at the camera, as well as two fingers up in a 'victory' sign, and Tsunade with her hand on Naruto's head, looking a bit exasperated but happy as well.

He touched a finger to Jiraiya's face in remembrance for the dead, then placed that picture on his desk as well.

Underneath that lay a hand drawn picture. It looked completely professional, done in inks as a portrait. Sai had given it to him as a present for his confirmation as the _Hokage's_ successor. It was Naruto himself standing in front of the _Hokage_ Tower, with Tsunade leaning against the wall behind him. Naruto was wearing the _Hokage _hat as Tsunade laughed at how proud he was of that. Under the picture were written the words "Congratulations, my friend. You have almost achieved your dream."

Sai had finally figured out emotions, and called Naruto his friend instead of 'dickless' in the end. Although he would occasionally bring out the old insult just to get a rise out of Naruto.

Grinning a little at that memory, Naruto shuffled to the next part of the pile. A very old _hitai-ate_ with a scratch running through it met his fingers. Sasuke's old _hitai-ate_. The missing-_nin_ had given it to him after all the drama with Madara was over, then disappeared, never to be heard from again. It was his last tie to the man who understood him perhaps the most – and the least – in the world.

Finally he was on the last part of the stack. A piece of paper, written on by both his mother and his father, given to him by the _Hokage_. It was torn off of a larger piece of paper, and the words were written on the back. Supposedly Minato had pressed it into the _Sandaime's_ hands just before going to confront the _Kyuubi_. He always had their voices inside of him, embedded into the _Kyuubi_ seal, but the tangible letter was something he treasured always. It held seven words. "Naruto. Love you always. Mom and Dad." It was all they had time for, but it was enough.

Naruto didn't notice the tears running down his cheeks as he looked at the landmarks of his life in front of him. Events that meant so much to him, and had changed his life to make him who he was today.

A knock at the door had him looking up, and it opened without his greeting. "Hey, _gaki_," Tsunade announced, stepping into her former office. "How's the day gone?"

Now he had a future to look forward to as well.


	162. Alternate Reality

I am going to go insane.

Thanks to Kaiser969 for a well choreographed idea.

* * *

Alternate Reality

"One more time," Naruto panted to himself, eyes tracing the path of the special _kunai_ he was using. The thunderstorm raged above him, a fitting background to the technique he was using.

The blond steeled himself, then he was gone in a bolt of yellow, flashing between the spears of metal stuck into the ground like anchor points. He was almost to the end when a flash of lightning split across the sky and headed straight for him.

He didn't have time to dodge, as caught up in the technique as he was. When the bolt struck him Naruto was knocked to the ground, completely unconscious.

He woke up on a deserted road, trees around it burned to husks and cracked. Looking around, Naruto tried to get his bearings; seeing a large rock with a crack in it, he frowned and moved closer. He knew that rock, it had been struck by the Kyuubi sixteen years before, but he was nowhere near Konoha.

Completely puzzled, the boy walked along the road, tracing the familiar path through unfamiliar terrain. There was rubble everywhere, and the normally lush forests were devastated. A grey pall seemed to hang on the air, and he couldn't even hear any wildlife. The odor of smoke teased his nose – not that of a campfire, but more of destruction.

After half an hour of walking, Konoha came into sight – tall proud front gates cracked and charred as well, and barred as they almost never were.

"What is going _on_?" the blond asked aloud, taking in the crumbling walls and lack of faces on the normally presiding _Hokage_ monument. "It's as though Konoha was destroyed…"

Just then the front leaves of the gate swung open to reveal twenty ANBU standing there, tensed.

"I'm glad you're here," Naruto began, stepping forward.

"The monster is here!" one ANBU yelled, and out of nowhere ten more ANBU flickered in.

"Don't try anything, _demon_," another spat, appearing behind the boy and holding a _kunai_ to his throat.

Naruto froze, mind working rapidly. _I thought we got past this after the Pein incident! The villagers finally accepted me fully, but even before that the shinobi trusted me! What happened?_

"We will bring you before _Rokudaime-sama_, so that your true punishment can be imparted," hissed his captor in his ear, forcing Naruto to walk forward.

The blond's eyes widened until he thought they would pop out of his sockets. "_Rokudaime? _But Tsunade was alive and well when I left!"

"Alive?" laughed one of the other guards bitterly. "No, you killed her! Don't play dumb, demon."

_Killed? No I would never…_he subsided into a mute shock, letting his body be directed through the ruined Konoha. Buildings were mostly rubble, only held up by wooden supports or sometimes nothing at all. Citizens went around with subdued expressions on their faces, clothing most often dirty and ripped.

The _Hokage_ Tower didn't exist; instead a crude wooden hut was erected in its place. Out of that building came Sakura, with lines Naruto hadn't seen on her face before pulling at her mouth and eyes, giving her a hardened expression.

"Sakura-_chan_!" Naruto exclaimed, before the pinkette slapped him.

"Shut up, _bakemono_," she snarled, face contorted into an expression of pure hatred. "You lost the right to call me that the moment you destroyed Konoha!"

"I never –"

"Do not lie! We were all here, we saw you kill Hinata and turn on Konoha! And now that you have returned we can finally have our revenge!"

She lunged at him with a _kunai_, and Naruto vanished from view, not wanting to get stabbed by his former teammate. Or was she? He had no idea what was going on, but this wasn't _his_ world.

The ANBU joined in, slashing at him. One came at him with empty hands in a style reminiscent of the Hyuuga, and his mask was a dove. Another sent a tendril of shadow out and Naruto quickly flipped away. A deer. Were all of his friends determined to kill him?

The one that hurt the most was the dog masked man, coming at him with the complete intent to kill, a chirping ball of lightning in his hand. Naruto blocked it with tears in his eyes, but couldn't bring himself to raise a hand against his friends. Even if they were trying to murder him.

He didn't know how long he dodged them, but that he was becoming more and more exhausted. The constant jibes of "Demon" "Monster" and "Murderer" were taking their own toll on his emotions as well. Instead of growing tired as well, his opponents seemed to grow faster and stronger, fueled by their hatred.

Sakura was the one to get in the killing blow. Her _kunai_ flashed across his abdomen, leaving a white hot trail of pain.

He ran as fast as he could then, one hand going to his stomach to try to stem the flow of blood that ran out. There was too much, he wouldn't survive. Thunder boomed above him, just as it had before this whole nightmare.

And as though it were drawn to him, another bolt of lightning struck Naruto, throwing him back onto the ground and into unconsciousness.

When he woke up, he was back in his training ground, scattered with _Hirashin_ _kunai. _

"Kyuubi," he whispered, placing a hand over his stomach where the seal rested. The Kyuubi had been the cause of all the pain in that place, whether it was real or not. All because he couldn't master the Kyuubi.

Naruto stood up with new fire in his eyes. He _would _master the Kyuubi's powers, and turn them to bring peace to the world instead of destruction.

With that thought in mind, the blond set off to seek out Killer Bee, and begin his training to fulfill his new promise.


	163. It Was the Pancakes

Yes I know pancakes are _very_ unlikely to exist in the Naruto-verse, but Kaiser969 suggested the idea and it was too good to resist. Then he and freewolf17 started doing the waffle song...and boom. I just had to write it in. It was too perfect!

* * *

It Was the Pancakes

"Dig in, my youthful student!" Gai proclaimed, waving his fork in the air before stabbing it down into the stack in front of him. "You have worked hard this morning and deserve this fruitful bounty!"

"Yosh!" Lee exclaimed, fire in his eyes as he clenched two fists. "I shall not fail you, Gai-_sensei_! I will eat each and every one in front of me!" The towering stack of ten pancakes in front of him drenched in sugary syrup was quite a challenge, but the boy dug in willingly, knife and fork moving at a stunning rate.

"That is it, beat this challenge!" Gai almost howled before beginning his own assault on his slightly larger stack of fifteen.

The waitress passing the two by rolled her eyes at the scene but ignored it. The order would have been stunning coming from anyone else, but those two were famous around Konoha for improbabilities.

In under ten minutes Lee was mopping the plate clean with the remnants of his last pancake, almost vibrating with energy. "Gai-_sensei_! I am ready to fulfill the springtime of youth! My energy is blossoming like a flower unfurling!"

"My student!" the older man cried with joy, tears streaming down his face. "You make me so proud my heart is going to burst!"

"Gai-_sensei_!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-_sensei_!"

That same waitress, passing by with a stack of dirty dishes, averted her face from the very disturbing sight of two identical _shinobi_ leaning over a table hugging each other and crying, with a sunset rising in the background. She had no desire to be scarred for life a second time and had learned quickly.

"Lee," Gai began once they had let each other go. "I believe this calls for a very special occasion."

Immediately the boy's eyes fired up, and he pumped a fist in front of his face. "Yosh! We should do so immediately!"

"To the square!" Gai proclaimed, and shot out of the restaurant, student on his heels, leaving behind the exact amount of money to pay for the meal and the tip.

The two green blurs raced through the street, dodging pedestrians and shopkeepers with ease. Anyone who saw them coming quickly got out of their way, having no desire to be possibly run over by the fast moving objects.

Gai skidded to a halt in the open area in front of the _Hokage_ Tower, then launched himself up onto a small platform built in the center. Lee followed suit, assuming an open legged stance, both hands poised in front of his mouth like a microphone.

"Let's do this," Gai muttered, then mirrored his student.

"Lee!"

"Yes, Gai-_sensei_?"

"Do you like waffles?" the man sang/yelled, ignoring the crowd that had followed them.

"Yes we like waffles!" Lee proclaimed, shouting his line to the crowd.

"Do you like pancakes?" Gai continued, waving his arms at the still gathering crowd.

"Yes we like pancakes!" Lee crowed, and some of the crowd joined in.

"Do you like French toast?" Gai almost bellowed, spinning in a circle.

"Yes we like French toast," yelled more crowd and Lee, getting into the spirit.

"Do do do do can't wait to get a mouthful!" Gai and Lee sang together, standing back to back.

"That wasn't loud enough!" Gai encouraged the crowd, waving his arms in huge circles. "More spirit, more spirit! You know the words! Do you like waffles?"

"Yes we like waffles!" the reply roared back. Lee was almost dancing with joy.

"Do you like pancakes?"

"Yes we like pancakes!"

"Do you like French toast?"

"Yes we like French toast! Do do do do can't wait to get a mouthful!" The resounding bellow shook the stage.

High up in the _Hokage_ Tower, a window flew open and a truly pissed Tsunade leaned out.

"Shut the hell up! It's too early in the morning to be singing, let alone yelling, so if you don't want to be catching Tora for a month _get the hell away from my tower_!"


	164. Marching Through the Night

Inspired by my own sleepless nights, minus the pillow punching. Such as tonight.

Congratulations to addster for leaving the 900th review! Choose your reward.

* * *

Marching Through the Night

Tsunade stared at the clock beside her bed, unblinking.

2:03.

Two long strenuous hours of trying to fall asleep since she had collapsed on the bed, two hours too long where her mind raced along still active as her body protested it's abuse.

She turned her head to the ceiling once more, trying to trace invisible patterns on it with her eyes. The darkness crept in at the corners of her vision, blotting out everything but what was right before her.

2:29.

With a loud long sigh and a huff, the blonde turned over in the bed, pulling comforters with her, trying to get comfortable. First the sheets pinched her leg, then her top itched in skin, her hair got into her mouth. Nothing was going right tonight.

2:51.

She had actually almost dozed off, eyes closed and breathing evening out. Until the heat of her pillow forced her to move, flipping the obnoxious thing over to feel it's cooler side, then having to punch it into shape.

Of course she put a fist through it with irritation, and had to get up and search around her room for a spare pillow. No such luck.

3:14.

Trying to sleep without a pillow was actually very uncomfortable for a woman who didn't like to sleep on her stomach. Her side was always her preferred option, but without a pillow to prop her head on, Tsunade was sure she'd wake up with a crick in her neck.

The little feathers left over from her ripped pillow that kept tickling her nose didn't help either.

4:05.

She had been asleep. She _had_ been. At least she was pretty sure of it. But the screams of the dying and the smears of blood everywhere left Tsunade confused as to whether it was a nightmare or a waking memory. Neither was a pleasant option.

The blonde woman shuddered, pulling the comforter closer to her body to feel the warmth instead of the chilling rain and running a sleeve over her face, checking just to make sure it didn't turn red.

If it had, she might have screamed.

4:11.

She couldn't do this.

Tsunade kicked off the covers and began pacing around the room, blonde hair streaming down her back, loose from her regular pigtails. She couldn't go through this mindless exhaustion every night, where she couldn't fall asleep, but couldn't remain awake either.

It was torture.

4:33.

Tsunade stopped her mindless pacing around and around the room, and stared at the bed that was becoming visible in the predawn light. It was a testament to how restless a sleeper – or non-sleeper – she had been.

Two halves of a pillow lay strewn across the floor next to the bed, a trail of feathers connecting them. More feathers rested at the head of the mattress, just where a pillow would normally rest.

The comforter was mostly off the bed, dragging on the floor as it clung to the foot of the mattress, great mountains formed by its folds.

The sheet was scrunched up almost into a ball right where Tsunade's stomach would be, torn from its neatly tucked in position at the beginning of the night.

The woman sighed and ran a hand through her hair, looking over the mess. She was exhausted, and just wanted to _sleep_. Why was it so hard to sleep? She was pretty sure her brain was on autopilot.

4:47.

Tsunade climbed back onto the bed, piling the two ripped halves of the pillow one on top of the other and resting her head there, pulling the sheet ball in close to her stomach and curling around it, and tugging the comforter up over her body.

Almost against her will, knowing she would have to be up soon, her amber eyes finally flickered closed, and stayed that way.

5:25.

That pesky alarm went off, and Tsunade groaned as her hand snaked out, searching for the snooze button.

It was going to be another long day.


	165. You Fail

From a long ago dare from addster...and she co-wrote this with me. Thanks for the help!

* * *

You Fail

"Hey mom?" Tsunade called from the living room, hearing the front door open. "Thanks for coming."

"You're welcome, sweetheart!" her mother responded, stepping out of the hall and into the room, looking at where her daughter held her one year old grandson, Naruto. "Now, you said it was urgent?"

The younger blonde nodded vigorously, looking down at her sleeping son on her lap. "I really don't feel good and Jiraiya isn't home yet…"

"Say no more!" her mother bustled around the couch, arms already reaching for her grandson. "Go take a long bath, relax, lots of bubbles. You don't have to worry about a thing."

Tsunade sighed with happiness, gratefully handing off her son. "Thanks mom, I don't know what I would do without you."

"Never get anything done of course."

Tsunade let out a laugh. "Whatever you say mom. Thanks." She disappeared upstairs, a happy sigh trailing behind her.

Her mother turned to Naruto, a contented grin on her face. "Now I have you all to myself for a couple hours. Such a sweet boy you are."

Not long after the hand off the boy began to stir, hands waving and eyes flickering open. He grinned when he recognized his mother and a stream of words issued from his mouth. Well, words to him. "Gagaga mamama!"

"Yes that's right I'm grandma," she grinned back down at him. "How about we watch some television?" She readjusted the one year old so he leaned back against her chest, staring at the box with moving picture in front of him in fascination.

They had been there maybe a half an hour, leaning back against the couch together, when Jiraiya came home.

He shut the door quietly and peered into the room adjoining the hall.

A blonde was sitting on the couch, hair tied into two pigtails running down her back. The television was showing some little kids show, and was turned down quite low. No doubt the baby was asleep.

The white haired man crept on silent feet into the room and behind the couch, then slid his arms around the woman sitting there, placing his mouth close to her ear.

"So babe, the kid's asleep. How about we head upstairs and do some 'sleeping' of our own?"

He didn't have time to react before she twisted around in his arms and slammed him straight in the nose with her palm, sending him careening backwards holding the affected appendage. "What gives?"

The blonde woman stood up, turning around and holding a giggling Naruto.

"First off, _the baby is not asleep,_ thank you for scarring him for life. Second, _I am not your wife_…although I do appreciate the compliment. What kind of husband are you that you can't tell your mother-in-law from your own wife?"

Jiraiya's mouth dropped open, and he struggled to formulate a response. None came, and he ended up looking like a landed fish. "I…you…" Finally his brain caught up with his mind. "I just hit on my _mother-in-law?_"

"That's right, boyo," she replied mercilessly. "_Again_."

"_Again_?" he squeaked, eyes going wider if possible. "I never…"

"Just because you don't remember it doesn't mean it didn't happen."

Footsteps sounded down the stairs behind the room, and an identical blonde appeared, wrapped in a towel.

"What was the commotion?" she asked, sighting her son and homing in on him, arms outstretched. His grandma refused to give him up.

"Your husband decided to retry a certain experiment," she told her daughter, a rippling laugh in her voice. "It backfired."

"Oh, he didn't…" Tsunade began, then caught the nod. "He did? Jiraiya, honestly?"

"It wasn't my fault!" the pour man defended himself against the two women, and even his son who was staring at him. "Honest!"

His protests died under two identical glares.

"You fail."


	166. Decoy Writing

Yes I know there are "! ?" after a couple sentences...and that is because I have realized that FF does not register if you do them in either order without a space..._mendokuse_.

Anyway, I started this a few days ago, but it was pushed out of the way by inspiration for another drabble...Third Generation Memories to be precise.

Happy Fourth of July to those in the States!

* * *

Decoy Writing

Tsunade yawned, and from where she lay, chucked yet another blade of grass at the boy on her left.

He didn't seem to notice, as engrossed in his writing as he was, but the boy on her other side said "Tsunade, leave the _baka_ alone."

That got Jiraiya's attention. "What did you call me, _teme_?" He spun around, pen poised for battle.

It was such a comedic picture Tsunade couldn't help but giggle. Jiraiya's eyebrows twitched as he tried to figure out what was so funny, then his eyes caught his 'weapon'. "Oh." He lowered the pen sheepishly. "Did you need something, Tsunade-_chan_?"

"What are you writing?"

Jiraiya blushed beet red, and attempted to stuff the papers behind his back. "Just an idea. Nothing worth reading," he defended feebly.

Now Orochimaru's interest was caught as well. "Let us read it, then we can decide."

"No!" Jiraiya jumped up, keeping the papers firmly behind him. "I don't want you to!"

"But we want to," the raven argued smoothly. "Or are you ashamed?"

"You can't get me that way!" the white-haired boy proclaimed, keeping hands behind his back. "I'm not that…"

"You mean by calling you a coward?" Tsunade cut him off, grinning widely.

Immediately an indignant flush spread over Jiraiya's face. "I am _not a coward_!" he protested, waving his hands in the air – pen in one and papers in the other. "But I'm still not going to show you!" the boy added as an afterthought, eyeing both his teammates warily.

"Well if he won't show us…" Orochimaru began, turning to Tsunade.

"We'll just have to take it by force!" she finished, then both disappeared.

Jiraiya dodged their first two grabs, ducking and weaving through grasping arms and distracting kicks.

He felt a tug on the papers in his hand and turned away, only to have Tsunade whisk them out of his hands and over his head into Orochimaru's as he tried to grab them back.

"C'mon guys! Please don't do this!" He hated begging, but he _really_ didn't want anybody reading his story until he was done…

"No mercy!" Tsunade taunted as Orochimaru flipped through the sheave quickly, scanning page after page of messy writing.

"I can't read this," he exclaimed, disgusted, and tossed it to Tsunade. "The _baka_ can't right clearly to save his life."

"Let me try," the blonde girl told him derisively. "I bet I can…" she took a look through as well. "How can you write this poorly?" Tsunade asked her white haired teammate in disbelief. "How could you pass the Academy with handwriting this bad! ?"

"Well…" he began, rubbing at the back of his head with the hand not holding his pen. "They kind of gave up trying to decipher it so I ended up with a fifty-fifty pass fail…"

Orochimaru rolled his eyes. "Trust you to pass off of a concession."

"Hey, what does that mean! ?"

"I think I figured out the first few words!" Tsunade interrupted the budding argument. "'_Hokage…sama_. The farms…are producing well…this year…so the yield…should be sufficient…' What is this trash? Is this a report?"

"Yeah, so?" the white haired boy stuck out his chin belligerently. "What if it is?"

"Why were you protecting it so fiercely?"

"None of your business!"

"Whatever," Orochimaru rolled his eyes once more. "Leave it be, Tsunade. It obviously doesn't matter."

"Yeah," she tossed the papers back to Jiraiya, who caught them deftly. "Have fun with your _report_."

The moment the two left him alone, Jiraiya rushed over to the rock five feet away from their resting spot, and formed three hand seals. The papers he was holding poofed out of existence, and a slightly thicker stack appeared in his hands.

"I'm so glad I set up that decoy," he grinned to himself, then settled down to continue his story.


	167. The Student

Today feels as though it has been three separate days.

* * *

The Student

"Where?" That one breathless word pushed itself from her lungs, on fire from the strain she had put herself through to get there. "Where is she?"

The tall doctor in the white coat pointed mutely down the hallway, not needing to ask who she was referring to. In such a small town, any strangers, especially in a hospital, were a rarity.

The long halls were empty as she barreled down them, a green cannon in high heels with blonde hair flying straight out behind her from the speed of her travel. She had been gone. She had been gone, and her student had gotten hurt. There was no excuse.

The girl was only twelve. _Twelve_. And she may be proficient at protecting herself, that was against minor thugs who were looking for an easy pickpocket – _not jounin level shinobi_.

Doors passed by in an endless stream, one number after another flashing by her eyes. 101, 103, 105…133, 135, 137…there it was, 142. The door was closed, but that provided no barrier.

She ripped it open but entered the room quietly, at odds with her previous arrival. The body lying in the bed was small, almost shrunken in the large white expanse. She had always been small for her age, but that bed only emphasized the difference.

"Oh…" Tsunade sighed, approaching with hesitant steps. There was an IV hung to the right, a clear tube attached to one hand that lay on top of the sheets. Involuntarily her own had reached out, brushing away some stray raven hairs that had fallen into the girl's eyes. "This is all my fault."

The girl stirred, nuzzling towards the source of warmth, and Tsunade felt her face droop with sadness. Her student, usually so vibrant with life and so strong, was seeking comfort unconsciously. Something she would never do awake.

It didn't help that she had tracked down the bastards that had done it, her student was lying on the bed, injured, because she couldn't be trusted to keep her eyes on the girl for five minutes. Five lousy minutes when three drunken missing-_nin_ decided to have some 'playtime' with the near teenager.

But when she fought off their first round of attacks, they decided to rough her up and leave her for dead. No, she couldn't be dead. Tsunade wouldn't _let _ her be dead. The doctors had said she would recover with time, and even have no lingering effects, but _it was all her fault._

With another sigh the blonde woman retracted her hand, heart twisting when the girl let out a small whimper of distress. "You shouldn't have been there." It was so easy to blame her, too easy. She wouldn't do it. "You know that, I know that. But you were. I should have been there to protect you." The girl moaned in her sleep and her head rocked from side to side as though protesting. "Don't deny it. I'm supposed to protect you from thugs like them, and all the other dangers of the world. I swore it to you…even if you didn't hear me." She rubbed at her neck sheepishly. "I should probably mention that to you at some point."

Creases of pain flickered over the girl's face, and Tsunade examined it worriedly, looking for any sign of her discomfort. But they eased as soon as they had arrived, and her student settled back into an uneasy unconsciousness; her body was trembling.

Tsunade first eyed the shudders, then the thin hospital blankets covering the twelve year old. "Not enough," she decided. With a graceful movement, she was up out of her seat and laying on the bed next to the girl, quite an amount of space between her and the edge. The beds really were generous.

She turned the girl on her side, IV hand resting clear above the blankets, and tucked herself behind her student, pulling the child close. Almost immediately the small body relaxed and the tremors stopped; Tsunade sighed with relief.

"I will always protect you," she whispered in Shizune's ear, brushing yet a few more stray black hairs away from her face. "Always."


	168. Hospital Reflections

Every time I begin writing a drabble that I think is going to be short, it ends up being much longer as I keep thinking up things I want to put in it. Interesting.

You can thank Kaiser969 for wanting to see an extension of the last drabble. I hope this suits.

Addster brought up an interesting point recently. I wonder how many people read this series that don't have it on alert, just because it is daily alert and keeps showing up at the top of the stories list? Sound off? =)

* * *

Hospital Reflections

Shizune's eyes flickered open, eyelashes fluttering. Her body felt…heavy, and there was a weight on the bed behind her. She was on her side, and a quick physical inventory told her there was a needle taped to her hand, and an arm over her waist, holding her tight.

Trying not to move a single other muscle in her body, Shizune rotated her head, eyes searching for the identity of the other person on her bed. They caught a glimpse of long pale blonde hair, draped over the pillow, and a green shoulder.

_Tsunade-sama_.

The blonde woman was asleep, eyes closed and breathing even against the pillow below her cheek. When Shizune looked closer, she saw what seemed to be dried tear tracks running down the woman's face.

With just as much care, Shizune turned her head back until she was facing the wall once more. Tsunade, her mentor and the only relation she had…where had she been?

_The three thugs stumbled drunkenly down the streets, weaving from side to side. In front of them, Shizune walked in the opposite direction, head down and carrying a basket, not looking where she was going. The collision knocked the girl off her feet, contents of the basket scattering onto the street._

_"Hey!" slurred the first man, grabbing at the girl's shirt with one shaking hand. "Watch where you're going!"_

_Shizune scrambled out of the way of that grab with ease, getting back onto her feet and picking up the basket. "I'm really sorry! Please, accept my apology," she told them, retreating back a bit to give herself some room to escape._

_"Now now," drawled the second man. "I don't think that's enough. I think she should have to pay for bumping into such esteemed men as us. Shiro?"_

_The third man simply grinned, and drunk as he was, Shizune didn't even see him move before she was thrown sideways into an alley. Her basket and goods were left behind on the deserted street._

_The twelve year old girl had barely struggled to her feet when a fist caught her square in the diaphragm, removing all the air from her body. _

_"What a pretty face you have," the first man jeered from behind her, where he had followed. "I think I'll take it as just payment." His slap snapped her head sideways, even though she had raised her forearm to block it as she had been taught._

_Her shinobi training could do nothing against them._

_The second man caught her as she tried to turn and run. "Now now, none of that. You must pay your dues of course." With a sickening wrench he broke her arm._

_She lost track of the pain after that, all three men took their 'payment' from her with punches and kicks, the snapping of bones. When they left, laughing and slapping each other on the back, she couldn't even raise her head to make sure they were gone._

_Their sudden yells of rage and fear weren't enough to drag her out of the spiraling blackness she was being sucked into either. _

_The last thing she remembered before surrendering to unconsciousness was a cool hand stroking over her forehead, strands of hair tickling her face, arms scooping her up, and a familiar voice whispering "Shizune, I'm so sorry."_

Had that been Tsunade-_sama_? She wasn't sure. She couldn't make out any features in her mind's eye of recollection, and the voice had come from so far away…

The girl shifted, and immediately the arm around her waist tightened, then relaxed as its owner came back to consciousness. Quickly Shizune closed her eyes, not wanting Tsunade to know she was awake yet.

The blonde woman sat up carefully, disentangling her arm from the girl's body, then checked her face. Breathing was even and eyes closed, not fluttering at all.

"Shizune…" she whispered, trying to get a response. Nothing. "I'm really sorry. I should have been there when they attacked…being there after wasn't enough. I can't lose you too. I'm supposed to protect you." A little laugh. "Don't expect a speech like this when you wake up. You know better. I can't be seeming all soft, can I?"

She got off the bed, and brushed her manicured nails across the girl's forehead, before she planted a soft kiss there.

It was only after she heard the door open and close, and the clack of her mentor's heels down the hall, that Shizune dared to open her eyes once more. One arm snaked out from beneath the covers, pinching at the unharmed flesh of the other. No, she wasn't dreaming. Tsunade-_sama_ had actually admitted to weakness. To her.

Tsunade-_sama_ didn't blame her for getting beat up – the woman blamed _herself_ for not being there. Not in a million years would Shizune have expected that. In all the time they had been traveling together, the _sannin_ had taken care of her, yes, made sure she ate right, went to bed on time, trained everyday…but never had she seemed so…motherly.

_Has anyone else seen that side, except maybe her teammates, Uncle Dan, and Nawaki?_ Shizune wondered idly. It was a heady thought. Could she be special just like they were to Tsunade-_sama_? Maybe, just maybe.

The clack of heels returned, and this time she didn't bother to close her eyes, instead rolling over and trying to sit up.

"Ah, you're awake!" Tsunade grinned at her student. "Took you long enough; look what I brought." In her hands was a steaming tray with two bowls. "Eat up, you need to recover your strength so I can teach you how to fend off attackers more efficiently."

For a moment, golden amber eyes met black, and an understanding was reached. Tsunade cared about her young charge even if she would never say it in words to the girl's face; and Shizune would do everything she could to protect the remnants of Tsunade's heart.


	169. Nonsense

Thanks to Kaiser969 for coming up with the very interesting and ironic idea of having Tsunade and Jiraiya dismissing 'Naruto' as utter nonsense. So here goes.

Also, I got my book today! My story, Desert Winds of Change, is now in 'proof' format for me to have forever as a book! Sorry, only one in the world that will ever exist. ^^; You know, it being a fanfiction and all.

Little kids are exhausting creatures.

* * *

Nonsense

Tsunade eyed the television, still not at all sure why on earth her son was addicted to the show that was currently on.

The blond boy was lying on his stomach in front of the television, eyes glued to the screen where figures in black and blue leapt around in the most unlikely feats of gravity defying, throwing little black shapes everywhere.

"Go, Kouji, go!" the boy yelled, pounding a fist on the ground as his favorite character dodged some red mass that flew at him and sent a volley of black needles back. The man who had sent the red…thing…was thrown back against what looked like a tree, and slumped to the ground.

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Why are you even watching that crap? It'll rot your brain."

Naruto rolled onto his back to look up at his mom as a commercial replaced the show. "Mooooom! It's great! They're ninjas, and they go around protecting the villagers and killing the evil ninjas!"

Jiraiya walked into the room, toweling his white hair dry from his dip in the pool out back. His eyes were immediately drawn to the television, then to where his son was lying on the floor. "What is that?"

Naruto needed on further invitation. "The main character is Kouji, and he was the worst ninja in school! But then he passed because he showed he was serious, then went on all these booooring," he drew out the word to emphasize just how boring they actually were, "missions, then they got to go on this really important one where Kouji saved a whole village! Then they went back, and now Kouji and his team are in this huge exam to move up in rank!"

Both his parents were staring at him in disbelief – something he took for awe. "Isn't it _awesome_?"

Jiraiya was the first to regain his voice. "Shows like that actually exist?"

Tsunade's eyebrows furrowed, then raised, as she looked first from her son, to the television, and back again. "Apparently. How do they come up with such nonsense? And why is that boy wearing _orange_?"

"It's Kouji's favorite color!" Naruto spouted off immediately into the pause, pushing himself up into a sitting position and turning to face the television. "Shhh! It's on again!"

Neither parent took notice of the shushing. "Naruto, ninja wouldn't wear a color that would make them a walking bulls-eye," Jiraiya began patiently, only to be cut off by his wife.

"This whole thing is crap! Ninja don't jump around from place to place in bright colors and shouting at the top of their lungs! And they definitely wouldn't be able to control the elements just with a couple movements of their hands." She pointed demonstratively at one boy on the screen who was making sand move wherever his hands did. "No way is that remotely logical."

"Whatever mom," the boy just brushed off her criticism. "It's awesome, so if you don't like it, go to the kitchen or something!"

Jiraiya worked on stifling a chuckle behind his hand as Tsunade stared openmouthed at her son. Then she turned to her husband. "Did he just dismiss me like a five year old?"

"Yeah, I think he just did."

"…" her mouth opened again, but no sound came out. She shut it then tried again. "…" She shook her head. "There really is no response to that." The blonde woman turned on her heel and walked out of the room into the hallway, snagging her husband's arm as she passed.

"Hey!" he cried out, trying to keep eyes focused on the television as they left the room. "It was just getting good!"

"I don't need _you_ getting stupid ideas in your head as well," she chided him. "It's bad enough Naruto painted his whole room orange last week and wouldn't tell us why – now we know – but no doubt there's going to be some other kind of effect on him as well!"

"Aw, I'm sure it's just a passing phase! No doubt Naruto will grow out of it soon enough. And it won't have any effect on his behavior."

Right at that moment a whoop issued from the room they had just left, then their son came darting out, holding a roll of paper horizontally in his hand and a bandana wrapped across his forehead.

"Kachaw, kachaw!" he stabbed twice at his parents' legs, then whirled about. "I chopped off your legs, you have to fall down!" When neither made any move to do so, he just pouted at them. "Fine!" Making a series of funny hand combinations, he put a fist to his mouth and shouted "_Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!"_

Tsunade stared at her son, then looked at her husband, who raised both hands in defeat. "Fine, fine, I take it back. That show corrupted his mind."


	170. Abducted by Gods

Kaiser969 had the original idea to have the three 'children of prophecy' battle the three epic villains of the Narutoverse. I got a bit carried away with the whole idea...so it's going to end up in two parts.

* * *

Abducted by Gods

Naruto was just about to bite into the food of the gods, also known as ramen, when he felt an odd tingle run through his body, and suddenly there was an oddly checkered board in front of him. And more importantly, _no ramen_.

"Hey what gives!" he squawked, immediately looking around for the perpetrator. And immediately squawked again upon seeing the person next to him. "_You're dead_!"

"I suppose I am," Nagato retorted calmly, no longer looking emancipated, but still with his trademark rinnegan eyes and red hair. "But what is true death? Is it not more likely my soul remained in limbo until being called here? For my physical body has not been in such shape for a long time."

Naruto had stopped listening upon hearing the phrase 'I suppose I am'. "But – but – but – "

"Do quiet down," came a voice from above the two. "Summoning dead spirits from the bowls of the _shinigami_ takes _concentration_, you know."

Naruto _did_ quiet down, but only because he was too busy goggling up at the massive entity in the sky. It took him over ten seconds to regain his voice. "_What the hell are you?"_

"I told you to quiet down!" the entity retorted, annoyed, and one finger moved in a circle. As Naruto attempted to respond, he clasped at his throat. No sound issued forth. "That's better. Now let me _finish_."

Five minutes passed, during which Nagato stared into space contemplatively, and Naruto danced around in a fit of rage, waving his hands violently in an attempt to attract the entity's attention.

He was distracted by the formation of a swirly cloud of light, which dissipated to reveal another blond standing there, spiky hair and all. He sported a sleeveless cape, the back of which said '_Yondaime Hokage_'.

Naruto's shriek of surprise would have fractured eardrums had he been in control of his voice. Immediately he raced over to the man, poking at him to be sure he was real. His finger met flesh, so he tried again…and again…and again…

"You know, as glad as I am to see you, son, that can get annoying really fast," Minato told the boy, amusement lacing his tone.

Naruto threw up his hands in confusion, while his mouth continued to work. The entity floating above them took pity on the boy and waved the same finger in the opposite direction.

" – dead, and then you were the seal, and then you showed up _here_, and _where are we?_" he exploded, before falling backwards onto the floor behind him – which promptly bounced him back up to a standing position.

"You are in my realm," intoned the entity, "where –" It was cut off by a roll of thunder, the gathering of black clouds, and flashes of lightning.

"You have _stolen_ one of my subjects!" boomed a dark voice out of those clouds. "For that you shall pay!"

"Whatever you say." The entity in the sky rolled it's eyes. "Your theatrics haven't improved with time, _Shinigami_."

Suddenly the clouds were gone, and in their place was another large entity dressed in black robes. "So _you _say, _Kami_, but I've caused a few mortals to have heart attacks now and then."

"Some minor heart attacks are nothing compared to thousands bowing down and worshipping you all at once!" countered the now named _Kami_. "Honestly."

Even Nagato's attention was caught by that. "_Kami_?"

"_Shinigami_?" yelped Naruto. "You ate my dad!"

"So he did," Minato confirmed, rubbing at his chin thoughtfully. "We must be in the realm of the gods as opposed to that of lesser mortals…but what's with the chess board?"

"Your dad summoned me, it was just payment!" defended the _Shinigami_, sounding oddly like a petulant kid. "Anyway, _Kami,_ you stole my favorite prize! How dare you?"

"I was summoning the three children of prophecy!" _Kami_ responded, waving one large hand down at the three mortals…well one mortal and two dead. "Even if only one of them is the _true_ child."

"That's still no reason! If you're going to take my prize, I'm going to defeat it!" So saying, three swirls of black clouds appeared under where the _Shinigami_ floated, then dissipated to reveal…

"Madara?" Nagato questioned.

"Danzou?" Minato quirked an eyebrow at the old man. "What happened to your arm?"

"_Ero-hebi_!" Naruto yelped, a clone immediately forming. A second later there was a ball of blue in his hand and he was charging straight at Orochimaru. Only to be stopped by an invisible wall.

"Now now, we can't have the fight starting before we're all ready," came the _Shinigami's_ patronizing voice from above. "_Kami_, I propose a battle between our respective forces. "You're…children of prophecy," he made the epithet sound distasteful, "versus my three great villains!" A booming maniacal laugh issued from his mouth, and went on for over a minute. When it ceased, all six humans were looking up at him with raised eyebrows. "Um…"

"This is definitely not Sasuke-_kun_'s head," Orochimaru broke the silence with his sibilant voice. "I was so enjoying taunting that boy…" Naruto's snarl of rage was probably audible down in the human realm.

"I was in the middle of executing my great plan," Madara groused, spiraling mask still covering his face. "How will the Moons Eye plan proceed without me?"

Danzou simply looked intrigued, kneeling on the floor and poking at the clouds that made it up. "How interesting…I wonder if this is a technique I can copy?" he mused, sliding the bandage covering his eye off to reveal a spinning sharingan.

"Attention!" boomed two voices, causing the six mortals below to fall to their knees covering their ears. "We have come to an agreement. Our respective teams will fight, and whoever owns the winning team gets to keep all _six_ souls, to do with what they will."

An immediate cry of protest issued up. "But I'm still alive!" Naruto hollered, glaring up at both entities. "I have to go back to protect people!"

"And _I _have a destructive plan to unleash with which to subjugate the entire world," Madara complained. "I refuse to die until I do."

"Why would I want to fight for the _Shinigami_?" Orochimaru pondered out loud. "No doubt he would torture us for eternity just for kicks, and while I enjoy a good torture, I dislike being the victim."

"Well that would fit you well, _Ero-hebi_," Naruto snarled.

"You would suffer too, dear Naruto-_kun_."

Danzou eyed both betters, then nodded decisively. "I agree with the blond brat and that idiot over there." He jerked a thumb at Orochimaru_._

"Who are you calling an idiot!"

"You were _caught, _obviously you are an idiot. But I would not like to be a plaything of the _Shinigami_. Or of _Kami_, for that matter."

"I refuse to battle at such terms," Minato announced, resting a hand on his son's shoulder. "Naruto must be allowed to return to the human realm."

Nagato stayed silent, curious as to how all would play out.

"Fine," _Kami_ let out a long suffering sigh. "We won't have any entertainment unless they fight. "All souls will be returned to their respective positions, does that suit?"

He overrode the _Shinigami's_ cry of outrage with a wave of his hand.

"Yeah."

"Fine."

"As long as I get to return to Sasuke-_kun's_ head."

"If we must."

"_Hn_."

"Very well."

"Then let the battle begin!" cried the _Shinigami_ and _Kami_ together_._


	171. The Gods Battle

Somehow I feel as though I broke a streak.

This may be as confusing as the last, sorry.

* * *

The Gods Battle

Naruto looked first at his father, the legendary Yellow Flash who had a flee on sight order during his life, then at Nagato, who had crushed Konoha into the ground and restored life to every citizen he had killed.

Then he looked at the three villains in front of him, and his eyes locked on Orochimaru. _I don't need their help to take the Ero-hebi_ _down_.

This time when he darted forward, there was no invisible wall blocking him, and his rasengan plunged right into the former missing-_nin_'s chest…or rather where it would have been had he not slithered out of the way.

"Kukuku, good try, Naruto-_kun_, but you'll have to do better than that if you want to hit me. At least Sasuke-_kun_ could fight when it counted."

Behind the blond boy, Minato gave a careless shrug and launched himself at Danzou, the major pain in the ass of his whole term as _Hokage_. "I'll finally get to take you down, you old slimeball," he muttered as his fingers flashed through a series of seals. Without a word uttered, flames shot from each of his fingertips like whips and lashed at the older man.

"Now Minato, surely you aren't taking offense at my attempts to protect the village?" Danzou stated conversationally, as a stream of water issued from his hand to cause mist to steam up where the two attacks met.

"No of course not," the former _Hokage_ replied just as blandly. "Merely your methods."

Madara and Nagato stared at each other from across the battle field, assessing the situation.

"You are dead," the masked man finally stated. "Do you still wish to be _Kami_ and erase all pain?"

Nagato's face was an emotionless mask. "Pain is inevitable. You wish to wipe everything from the world, including love."

"Love leads to pain."

"Without love there is nothing."

"It would seem we are at an impasse."

"So it would seem."

Without another word exchanged, both men stared at each other, pitting the powers of their respective _doujutsu_ against each other in an invisible battle.

Madara, Danzou, and Orochimaru – despite how much they had hated each other in life – looked at one another and nodded. They may not like their companions, but they were aware of both strengths and weaknesses of the other two.

Orochimaru moved to the side to let past a blast of lightning from Danzou that forced Naruto to dodge and stop the attack he led on the snake summoner – also leaving him open to attack. Blood spurted form his mouth as he hit the suddenly unyielding ground.

Minato immediately let off his own attack to go check his son, a fact Danzou took advantage of. "You care for your son over your own skin? That will be your downfall, Minato."

Nagato remained locked in his invisible battle with Madara, but he was losing. While he had the rinnegan in both eyes, Madara had stolen one of his, and had both the ultimate sharingan as well as a fully functional rinnegan. It was a losing battle from the start.

"Look at all the pretty chess pieces," the _Shinigami_ quipped from his position high above the battle, a tally sheet in his hand. "The lords of light getting beaten down by the minions of darkness." Underneath the three separate battles was the barely visible outline of the chessboard Naruto had seen upon arrival. A dark shadow was clouding over most of the board, beating back the white gleam on _Kami's_ side.

_Kami_ had no reply.

"Naruto!" The voice was far off, echoing in the boys ears like a long forgotten memory. "Have you forgotten all I taught you? Are you really that bull headed?" A white shape began to appear in front of the blond boy where he lay on the ground – then green and red…"You know better than to fight solo when you have friends to help you. So get to it!"

Naruto frowned, narrowing his eyes at the figure. "_Ero…_" but it was gone.

Minato was hit back from his headlong rush towards his son by a gust of wind from Danzou.

"Easy pickings," scoffed the old man. "You are nowhere near your prime. It is pitiful."

But the former _Hokage_ couldn't take his eyes from where his son was – and the figure hovering over him. Especially not when that figure turned towards him, and grinned widely. "You know what to do, Minato. So do it." Something metal and glistening flew towards where the man lay, to stop about fifty feet short.

Nagato didn't dare blink his eyes lest he be consumed by the multi-layered _genjutsu_ being forced his way by his opponent. If he faltered once, it was over. So when the apparition appeared in front of him, he was sure he had lost. There was no way Jiraiya-_sensei_ would be here. He had died, at Nagato's own hand.

"I may have been wrong about you, but I don't think so. Somewhere down there is the boy I trained to think for the good of mankind, rather than to make all the world suffer under the illusion of peace." His voice came clearly out of the light. "So fight for it. You aren't alone, others have the same dream." Then he was gone.

From the triangle they had formed, as Naruto got to his feet and Minato flashed to the _kunai_ Jiraiya had tossed, the eyes of the three 'children of prophecy' met. And in there was unspoken agreement.

Two rasengans charged straight at Danzou, taking the old man by surprise from behind as he turned to defend from Minato.

Nagato flicked his finger, and suddenly he was no longer in front of Madara but behind the man as the Uchiha sent a swirling vortex at the place Nagato had stood. Even as the villain faded to avoid a hit from the younger man, Nagato sent three _kunai_ flying in quick succession at Orochimaru, who was forced to dodge.

Right into Naruto's axe kick as he left Danzou for his father to settle.

Two down, one to go.

"Hey dad, watch and learn!" called the blond boy as he created two clones and held out his right hand. A rasenshuriken began to form, swirling into a tight ball with four tendrils.

"You perfected it?" called Minato from his place tying up an unconscious Danzou with _shinobi_ wire.

"Yup! Now you get to see the masterpiece!" He threw the _jutsu_ – it had taken days of practice to be able to – just as Nagato launched a barrage of _taijutsu_ at Madara. He was forced to decide which to dodge, the imminent attack, or the immediate one. He faded and let the wind attack pass through him even as Nagato was forced to dodge or risk being hit.

"You lose," the Uchiha cackled, glee in his voice. So when Minato appeared behind him from the _kunai_ hidden in the rasenshuriken, he was completely unprepared.

"We win."

"Instead of the souls you owe me one hundred years of servitude!" _Kami _gloated to the _Shinigami_.

"We hadn't decided on those terms! It was…we were…"

"You suggested them, reap the consequences!"

"No!"

"Are you reneging like a coward?"

"I'm not a coward!"

"Then suck it up!"

"I just want to go home," Naruto sighed from below the squabbling gods. "I still have a bowl of ramen waiting for me." He glowered at the two entities. "_It had better be there_."

"Yeah yeah," _Kami _waved it's hand negligently and suddenly the blond boy was in the sunlight once more, about to dig into his precious lifesource.

"That's more like it."


	172. Trio of Ten

Decided I wanted to know what Tenten's first day would have been like.

* * *

Trio of Ten

Tenten sighed, waiting as her instructor went team by team through the class roster. In a class of thirty children, ten teams were formed; which teams passed were up to the _jounin senseis_. "Team One..." She tuned out the lists, except for her name, eyes roaming over her various classmates.

At least four were dozing, heads resting on hands and one drooling; most were muttering to each other under their breaths, wondering who would be paired with who.

The Hyuuga prodigy was sitting stoic as always, pale eyes staring out the window next to him; she could have sworn there was a light beam shining on the conceited boy if he could have made it.

Far on the other side of the room was the oddest boy in the class, with long black hair that was braided to the base of his neck, and huge black eyebrows. Somehow even though he could use absolutely no _ninjutsu _whatsoever, he had been promoted to _genin._ No doubt he wouldn't pass whatever test was set for them by the _jounin._ And she _really_ hoped he wasn't on _her_ team because she really didn't want to fail out.

"Team Nine..." she hadn't heard her name yet, or that of the Hyuuga or the weird boy. Not promising.

"Team Ten - Rock Lee, Hyuuga Neji, Tenten. Congratulations to all graduates, I wish you luck and those who don't pass...see you next year. Your _senseis_ will be along soon to pick you up."

"No, no, no..." Tenten began to beat her head against the desk softly. "This isn't happening...isn't...Really? Them?"

The door burst open right after their old _sensei _left, to reveal a man standing there with a black bowl cut, green spandex, orange leg warmers, and a red belt around his waist with a _hitai-ate. _"Youthful Team Ten! Follow me to discover your springtime of youth!"

The eyes of every student in the room was fixed on the eccentric man, and Tenten simply wanted to sink into the floor. "It's all a nightmare..."

The odd boy was the first one up, approaching their new _sensei_ hesitantly, Neji following suit. Tenten didn't move from her chair - maybe they would forget about her. Please...

"Tenten-_san_," Neji beckoned to her. "We must go. Come."

With a reluctant sigh, the brunette got up from her desk, not meeting the eyes of anyone else in the room.

"Come Tenten-_san," _exclaimed the man. "You must discover your flowering beauty of strength!"

She was sure her face flushed red, but she completed the walk out of the classroom and shut the door firmly behind her. "This is going to be torture," the girl muttered.

Their new _sensei_ led the three to a balcony of the Academy overlooking the village, with a wooden bench built into the wall."My name is Maito Gai, your _jounin sensei._ So! Let us go in a circle and introduce yourself, your dreams, likes and dislikes! You! Broody boy, go first."

Neji gave the man an evil eye for that epithet, but opened his mouth obligingly. "My name is Hyuuga Neji. My dream is to change the Hyuuga clan. I have no likes...and my dislike is private."

"That is unyouthful to keep secrets! But some things must not be shared. You!" The finger pointed at the odd boy from class, Lee.

"My name is Rock Lee. My dream is...to become a great _shinobi _even though I cannot use _taijutsu!_ My likes are..." he faltered. "My dislikes are bullies!"

"That is most wonderful, Lee! I shall help you to become a great _shinobi!_ Now for the last!"

Tenten sighed, just wanting to get this over with. "My name is Tenten. My dream is to become a weapons mistress. My likes are weapons. My dislikes are conceited idiots."

"That is a glorious dream! You shall bloom with weapons like a spring flower!" Did the man ever stop talking about youth, spring, and flowers? Honestly. "Tomorrow we shall meet to determine whether you shall be a worthy team! Do not be late and show up at training ground ten! This will decide the path of your lives!"

Then he was gone in a puff of smoke, leaving the three new teammates behind.

Neji glared at his two teammates. "You had best not hold me back."

"As if," Tenten retorted, just as annoyed.

Lee didn't look at either, instead staring down at the village below. She would feel sorry for him, but that she didn't really know the boy at all. That would probably change if they passed. _If._

_"_'Don't be late tomorrow," she told both abruptly, getting up from her seat. "I refuse to accept failure as an option. Agreed?"

"_Hn."_

"Agreed."

"Good. If this works we'll be teammates or something so...just don't screw it up!" And with those encouraging words she left, muttering under her breath, "It'll take a miracle."


	173. Genetics

Written to a dare from addster.

* * *

Genetics

"Come on, Minato!" Jiraiya tugged on his student's arm impatiently. "She's only my teammate! It's not as though she's someone _famous_."

"I know but…" the blond boy bit at his lip worriedly. "She's the top medical specialist in all of Konoha. I'm just…your student."

"And that makes you so much better than her already!" the white-haired man grinned, showing all white teeth. "Poor Tsunade-_chan_ is inferior to you because she never absorbed my teachings…"

"Still spouting off about how you're the best teacher in the universe?" called a voice from behind the two.

Minato spun around automatically, then eeped and ducked behind his _sensei_ upon seeing who approached.

Senju Tsunade, decked out in a _jounin_ vest and rather high heeled _shinobi_ sandals approached them leisurely, waving at Jiraiya. "So what's up? You just said you wanted a meeting, what for?"

The man drew his reluctant pupil out from behind him with one large hand, despite said pupil's fevered attempts to remain there.

"Tsunade, I want you to meet my new student, Minato. Minato, this is my teammate Tsunade."

The boy bowed quickly from the waist, brilliant blond hair flopping over his face as he did so. "Itsapleasuretomeetyou."

Tsunade eyed the youngster, then her teammate. "They actually trusted you with a student?" She ignored his indignant "Hey!" "Kid, you don't have to be so formal with me. If Jiraiya trusts you you're fine in my book."

The smile the boy flashed her was enough to brighten a room. "If you say so!"

"So what does he have you working on?"

Jiraiya stood back and watched two of the most important people in his life talk, both gesturing animatedly as they got more into the conversation.

There was something niggling at the back of his brain, something in the way they both stood, looked, gestured. But he couldn't pin it down. It was like an irritating fly buzzing around his head that wouldn't leave well enough alone. Finally he gave up. It wasn't important. All that mattered was that his two friends were enjoying themselves.

And of course that they knew he was still here. "Last one to the ramen stand has to treat!"

* * *

Jiraiya walked behind Tsunade and Naruto as they 'bantered' back and forth. More like a very fierce argument, but heaven forbid anyone label it anything more than friendly chatter. And somehow it was, despite the insults and loud voices.

"No no no!" Naruto exclaimed, almost vibrating in place with his need to explain. "First you break the chopsticks apart, then stir the noodles with them, slurp up a few, but you have to let the others flavor the in the broth as well!"

"Ramen is ramen," Tsunade countered, voice matching his in intensity. "It doesn't matter how you eat it, it's all the same when it hits your stomach!"

Jiraiya rolled his eyes, but refrained from inserting himself in the argument. Tsunade would learn soon enough it was a useless cause to try to win any talk with Naruto about ramen, unless it was about it being 'my treat'.

The sun was shining brightly, glinting off both blonde heads in front of him. For a moment he could swear he was seeing double, and that they were one person, but he shook his head to clear it. No way.

His eyebrows furrowed. There was something in the way they both carried themselves, shoulders back and chins out as though they were going to defy the world. A certain cadence to their speech patterns, and that distinct way both of their mouths twitched to the side when amused.

He _knew_ they had never met before…so why were they so familiar? It had been the same with Minato…much more subtle, but just there. What _was_ it about all the blondes in his life?

Minato was an orphan…and Naruto was an Uzumaki…no way. Sure there was that faint – very faint- genetic tie to the Senju through the Uzumaki…but Minato? Where did he fit in? Naruto and Tsunade seemed a lot closer than distant cousins by blood.

Could it be somehow Minato was related by blood too? Yes…that would explain that weird quirk, where they had jokes nobody else seemed to get, that odd relationship between the blondes where they mirrored each other.

"Hey! Blondie!" he called on a whim. Both Tsunade and Naruto turned to look at him, the same quizzical expression on their faces.

"Whaddya want?" the phrase was out of Tsunade's mouth right before the "What's up _Ero-sennin?_" from Naruto.

"N-Nothing…" It was mind-boggling. Jiraiya promptly decided to never ever again bring up that train of thought. It was just asking for trouble.


	174. A Twist of Circumstance

I really should stop writing and posting these at 1am.

Thank you to Kaiser969 for the brilliant idea.

* * *

A Twist of Circumstance

Tsunade looked back at her – once hated – beloved village one more time before slipping out the gates. She couldn't, she refused, to let Jiraiya put his life in danger on a reconnaissance mission he knew was suicide. Their conversation on the bench had just proven that.

She didn't think he would have fallen for the same trick twice, but the _sake _she had given him for a goodbye present had been liberally laced with a drug that would render him unconscious until long after she was gone. The note she had left beside him would make sure he looked after Konoha in her absence.

It wasn't that long a trip to Ame, maybe five days tops. She took it at all possible speed, pushing her body to its utmost limit without collapsing. She refused to let someone destroy her world, and she refused to let one of the three people left in her world that she loved be killed finding out more about the egomaniac running the show.

The moment she passed the border Tsunade noticed the pervasive rain. Ame had always been a wet country, she knew that from fighting in the place decades ago. Jiraiya had hypothesized it was the sky crying for the battlefield the country had become.

But this rain was different. Heavier, denser, and even just the tiniest bit sticky – not like the sky's tears. So when the first piece of white paper blew past her, she wasn't surprised.

"Senju Tsunade, _Godaime Hokage_ of Konoha, what are you doing here?" whispered a voice on the wind, coming from all directions. More pieces of paper began to float in, circling the blonde woman. "Why are you not back in your village, preparing for its demise?"

Tsunade stood in the center of the circle, poised and ready for any attack. "Because I refuse to accept such a fate without changing it."

The papers paused at that, then all converged on the same spot, layering themselves until the form of a woman became visible. She had dark blue hair done up in a bun with a paper flower pinned to it, a lip piercing, and heavy eyes done up with eye shadow that only accentuated their depth. All her nails were tinted black.

"Why have you come here?" she asked again, her voice not echoing from each individual paper now, but from her body, the question curious now.

"To protect the man I love," Tsunade answered cryptically, eyes tracing the woman's face. She knew it from somewhere. Somewhere in this country.

Her opponent's face remained smooth, but understanding was echoed in her eyes. "Then you know why I am here as well. What do you protect him from?"

"Anything that would hurt him." _Anything but me_. Why was she even talking about this? It got her nowhere. The memory of where she knew the woman from was jiggling just at the edges of her memory…

"Jiraiya-_sensei_ said the same about you." Oh. That was where. The woman was one of the three orphans they had found all those years ago.

Wait. "Jiraiya said what about me?"

Konan's eyes drilled into hers. "I too protect. You understand I cannot let you past this point."

"You understand I can't let you keep me here."

"Then we understand each other perfectly." More papers flapped in the air, melding to Konan's back in the form of huge paper wings. "I am the Angel of _Amegakure_, and I _will _protect my god!"

Tsunade swiped her thumb across her mouth, breaking the skin with a quick nip. She slammed her hand down onto the wet ground, calling out "_Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"_ With a huge cloud of smoke, a giant blue slug appeared under her. "I am the _Hokage_ of _Konohagakure_, and I will protect all I hold dear."

She didn't know how long the battle lasted. Neither gained the upper hand for the longest time, fighting there at the border of Ame. Katsuyu had long returned to her home, to nurse wounds and regain her own _chakra_. Tsunade dodged paper, slashed at it, healed herself, and fought some more. Konan was no longer able to fly around, and instead was engaged in a joint _taijutsu ninjutsu_ battle with Tsunade.

It was a purely lucky strike that decided the battle. Blood poured out of Tsunade's chest where she had been run through by Konan's paper sword, even as her fist punched a hole through where Konan's right lung was.

Instead of the normal flesh, her body seemed to be composed of paper in entirety, leaving the edges of the hole ripped and torn. Konan stumbled where she stood, then looked at Tsunade with eyes that shone with…relief?

"You know how I feel. Do not dishonor my last wish. Please…when you see Nagato…let him know…how I felt…" Her body dissolved into paper, floating away on the wind and becoming soaked through with rain before disintegrating.

Tsunade panted for breath, bracing herself until she was forced to fall forward first onto her knees, then all fours. The battle had taken all she had.

"Maybe…in another life…we could have been friends. In another world, where war doesn't exist…" she whispered to the water soaked rock below her, hoping Konan could still hear her on the wind. "I will honor your wish…"

Sopping tendrils of blonde hair fell about her face as she remained there, fighting for the strength to get up. She _would_ return to Konoha. She had protected the man she loved. Her mission was complete. For now.


	175. Battle to Protect

There were three requests for continuations...and I came up with three continuation ideas. So there will be two more after this. I hope this suits, and thanks to Kaiser969 for helping.

* * *

Battle to Protect

Tsunade pushed herself up off the ground as soon as the hot fire of healing _chakra_ finished coursing through her veins. She couldn't stop now. Every second she spent meant one more second the enemy could use to find out her location. Konan's god no doubt had a way of tracking everyone in _Amegakure_, and he was the one she needed to find. But it had to be on her terms, not his.

Moving was painful, and the stab wound was only healed superficially, but she could fight. She _would _fight, because she wasn't done yet. Everything Konan had said only confirmed what she had already known – Ame was dangerous, and she had to figure out exactly what it was going to do.

That pervasive ran got into her eyes as she ran over rock, speeding past the burned husks of buildings whose only crime was to be too close to the border. She stuck to those demolished areas, free of people who might see her and report her presence, or get caught up in a fight that could happen at any time.

She lost track of time as she headed deeper into enemy territory, only conscious of underlying fatigue despite the _chakra_ and blood replenishing pill she took, and a low throb of pain beginning around the stab wound.

The only warning she had of an attack was the whistling. She jumped to the side, barely dodging an odd spike of black metal that quivered deep in the stone in front of her.

"You have come far. You will go no further," intoned a deep voice from behind her. The blonde spun around and saw a man with spiky orange hair, studded with piercings in his nose, ears, and mouth, facing her. His hand was outstretched, and a piece of black protruded from his palm.

"Are you the so called god of Ame?" Tsunade called, eyes on the figure. It didn't budge an inch. "I've heard about you."

"I _am_ the god of Ame," came another voice from her right. A very large figure with more orange hair stepped out of the shadows. "And I will take away all the pain in the world."

"Oh?" she cocked an eyebrow, although she remained poised for any movements the figures may make. "Which one of you should I believe?"

"_We are one_," they said together, each taking a simultaneous step closer…and revealing a third.

_Not good not good…_she hadn't expected to face more than one – maybe extremely powerful – enemy. Now she was completely out matched.

"What is it you value most in this world, _Hokage_ of Konoha?" asked the third figure, with waist long orange hair. She was sensing a theme.

Tsunade didn't even have to think. "The lives of the people of my village."

"And what would you do to protect them?" pushed the same man, regarding her with ringed purple eyes.

"Anything at all."

"Would you go to war for them?"

"Yes."

"Wrong answer," came a fourth voice, directly behind her. A white hot stab of pain lanced through her shoulder, and Tsunade stumbled forward clutching at the metal rod embedded in the joint. With a jerk she wrenched it free, sending it clattering onto the rock in front of her. "It is views like yours that cause the pain our world suffers from. I will cure this pain, and the world will be at peace."

"Oh yeah? How?" she panted, taking cautious steps backwards towards a cliff wall behind her. If she pushed enough _chakra_, she could jump to the top of that cliff…

"By causing the world to be reborn." The answer was said in a matter of fact voice, but nothing about it was simple. "The slate will be wiped clean and united under one power."

"That will solve nothing!" came a strong voice from the top of the wall Tsunade was backing towards. A figure in red and green plummeted towards the ground, landing right in front of the blonde woman.

"Jiraiya-_sensei_." There was no note of surprise in the voice, only resignation. "You should not have come. Now you will die along with the woman who killed the one person I held dear." A spark of anger was lit in the tone. "Loss. I will eliminate loss."

"She died to protect you," Tsunade shot back. "The least you could do is honor her sacrifice! She knew what she was doing." She pushed past Jiraiya, not letting his restraining arm stop her. "Are you going to take it out on me? _Fine_. Just like an avenger. _Nagato_."

She saw Jiraiya do a double take, inspecting the figures around him. "Nagato, don't do this. I taught you –"

"You taught me to protect all I hold dear!" No more was the all-knowing patient tone of before. This one held strangled rage and pain, directed at the two Konoha _shinobi_. "And that is precisely what I intend to do."

Three figures shot towards the pair, one firing off a water _jutsu_. Jiraiya countered with a well-timed fire _jutsu_, even as Tsunade jumped into the air to deal a punishing kick to a figure attacking from above. He flew backwards, landing lightly on a rock shelf some hundred meters away.

"If she's dead, you aren't protecting anything!" Jiraiya yelled, ducking under a slash of metal from the third man. "If you want to end suffering, begin with yourself!"

"You can't understand my pain, _sensei_," Nagato proclaimed, voice issuing from the first figure to appear, which had remained back from the fight. "But," his eyes narrowed on Tsunade. "I will make you understand the pain she inflicted on me!"

One figure slapped his hand down on the rock, and a truly monstrous beast emerged, a warped brown dog that howled like a coyote. It lunged at Tsunade, who was barely able to dodge in her weakened state.

"_No_!" Jiraiya's yell was full of rage, mirroring that of Nagato earlier. He slapped his hand down on the rock as well, summoning a large toad with a trident and a huge shield. "Can you protect us?"

"Though I may be large and clumsy," the toad responded in a slow voice, "I will do my best."

"Good enough." Jiraiya grabbed Tsunade by the arm, pulling her behind the toad with him as the dog attacked, teeth snapping uselessly against the shield. "This is a fight we cannot win," he whispered fervently. "We must retreat."

Her head felt exceptionally light and his face was moving back and forth in front of her. "But…"

"No. I won't let you die here fighting for some useless shred of information." He yanked her to the side again as the toad crashed backwards, now two dogs snapping at him."Gamaken!"

"Yes, Jiraiya?" called the toad as he pushed off the cliff wall.

"Cover us." When the five figures of Nagato heard those words, each moved forward a step.

"I will not –" " –let you escape –" " –with your lives." "You fall –" " –here."

"Nagato, I thought once you would understand what I meant about protecting that which is dearest to you. But now…" Jiraiya trailed off, running through a series of quick hand seals. "It's too late."

"_No_!" the enraged cry issued from all mouths at once, and bars of metal shot at the pair as they began to disappear. Three hit Tsunade – once in the chest, and two in the legs. She collapsed immediately, coughing, and it was only Jiraiya's hand grasping her arm tightly that kept her from falling completely.

"Hang on…" was the last thing she heard, as her body barely registered the ceasing of rain and feeling of warmth that was swept away by the cold chill that overcame her body. Then her world went black.


	176. Reasons

Third extension of the drabble "A Twist of Circumstance". Yes it is up 12 hours after the last one, but that is because I'm going to see HP7P2 tonight at midnight! Woot!

* * *

Reasons

She blinked blearily, eyes barely cracking open to see only white. Her body was oddly numb – she couldn't feel any of her extremities.

_Am I dead?_

"No," came a voice from beside her conversationally. "But as soon as you get better you will be."

_Jiraiya?_

She turned her head slowly, watching as colors began to move then come into focus to reveal her teammate lounging in a chair, hands clasped over his stomach.

"So you're awake," he continued, a very odd smile on his face. "But you see, I don't think you're sane. Because if you were, you would never have left me that note. You would never have gone to take on two very dangerous people on your own. And you sure as _hell_ would never have _almost died!_" His voice rose in crescendo with each point, until he was stabbing an accusing finger at you. "So now, if you would care to _explain_ yourself?"

Tsunade wet dried lips with her tongue, not sure where to start. He was _pissed_. That much was evident in the sparking of his black eyes and the way his knuckles were white. But he was also worried.

Just as she opened her mouth to begin – where, she didn't know – the door slid open with a bang and a tornado of blond energy barreled in. "Is she awake? You said you would tell me when she woke up!"

"See for yourself," the older man pointed at the bed, and Naruto's blue eyes immediately snapped to her face. She met his gaze the best she could, but had to look away.

"Why did you do it?" Naruto asked softly, his whole demeanor changing. "You knew you would die, so why did you go?"

"Because I had to protect everyone," she stated, not looking at her two boys. "I had to protect you, and this village."

"You could just as easily have sent someone else!" Jiraiya cut in heatedly, standing up so she had to look at him. "You could have sent anyone! I was _going_ to go!"

"No I couldn't have!" she shot back, golden eyes snapping around to meet his. "The only other person who could do this, who would have known enough, would have been you. And _I couldn't lose you_."

"You think I care about that? I'm not as important as you, Tsunade! I need you, Naruto needs you, Sakura needs you, this whole village needs you! The only people that need me are you and Naruto. You know which is the greater loss. And you drugged me anyway!"

"You almost died," Naruto cut into their argument, his forlorn voice stopping both teammates. "Shizune-_nee-chan_ said your heart stopped twice. She barely saved you, working with Sakura-_chan_ and Ino. Why?"

This time she had no answer.

"Why did you go alone? Why couldn't you have trusted one of us to come along too? Then you wouldn't have…"

"Two is too noticeable," Jiraiya answered for her. "It had to be one. It _should_ have been me."

"And you would have died." Her voice was flat, matter of fact. "I survived because you came after me, even though I told you not to. You would have had no one coming for you. You would have died there in Ame, and that is unacceptable."

Naruto sighed, running a hand through his blond hair and making it stand up more than it already was. "This is going nowhere. _You_," he pointed a finger at Tsunade, "shouldn't have left. _You_," now the finger was pointed at Jiraiya, "saved her. Now _I_," he pointed both thumbs at himself, "am going to go get some ramen. _Ja ne_." The boy walked out the door, one hand raised in a lazy goodbye.

Tsunade couldn't see him leave, from her spot lying down on the bed, but Jiraiya chuckled. "Always a surprise, that boy. Just when you think he'll go off half-cocked, he proves to be the voice of reason."

Tsunade let out a small laugh too, then hissed when the movement sent sparks of pain shooting through her torso and legs.

"What's wrong, anesthesia wearing off?" Jiraiya asked immediately, concerned. He pushed a button on the side of her bed, one that would summon Shizune.

"Yeah…I think," Tsunade ground out. "How badly was I hurt? I know the stab wound…"

"You also suffered a major puncture to your stomach, the severing of the major artery in your right leg, and shattered bone in your left. The only thing that saved you was Jiraiya getting you back here in time. Even then we were going through two packets of blood every five minutes to keep you alive," Shizune's calm voice came from the door. "Those, on top of the two stab wounds on your torso caused your brain to overload, and simply shut down. You lost a quarter of your blood before getting here."

"Oh." Now she knew why Jiraiya had been so worried and angry. She really shouldn't have survived.

"It was a blessing you had already knit the skin of the first stab wound," Shizune continued, "or we would have had almost no chance of saving you. Even then, it was a twenty one hour surgery, and we will need to do two more major healings to make sure your leg is fully usable. You are _not_ to use that rebirth seal of yours to help this either." Tsunade shifted her eyes to the side, wondering how on earth her assistant knew what she was thinking. "Because I know _you_."

"Fine."

"Now, she has to sleep," the raven told Jiraiya, all business. "You can come back and yell at her another day, but her body needs time to recuperate."

As the medic moved to push some medicine into her body through a tube in her hand, Tsunade interrupted. "Wait. Who is taking care of the village?" She had to know.

"Kakashi and I," Jiraiya informed her. "Most of the village doesn't even know you were gone, they just think you've been spending tons of time in the hospital."

"Oh…that's good…" she subsided, and Shizune pushed the drug into her system. She felt it take effect immediately, as the world grew lighter and disconnected. "Sorry….couldn't lose…you…" she managed to get out, just before the world became all encompassing white that faded to familiar black.


	177. Battle for Konoha

Yes we have pretty much officially left the canon behind...although wait, we did that back at the beginning of this series.

This ended up very long - A _huge_ thank you to Kaiser969 for helping me plan it all out - but I still feel as though I didn't quite hit every point I wanted to in it. I hope it at least gets my point across.

Oh, and there will be a bit of...an epilogue?...after this one, a closing if you will. Thanks to Kaiser969 again for thinking it up. You've been a huge help for this whole series.

* * *

Battle for Konoha

"Tsunade-_sama_!"

The shout startled her out of her reverie, remembering that last flash of memory before all had faded into black in Ame – six pairs of eyes burning with vengeance, and six voices screaming the same sound of pain.

"Yes? What is it?" She brought her mind back to the present, focusing her eyes on her assistant in front of her.

"Jiraiya-_sama_ is back, with urgent news."

"Send him in." Her teammate had been off gathering information on Nagato and what he intended to do. She also personally suspected it was to keep from tying her up to a bed for the rest of her natural life as punishment for scaring the crap out of him.

The raven bowed out of the office, and moments later Jiraiya entered, Naruto following him.

"You can't be here," Tsunade told the blond bluntly. "This is top secret."

"No, he should be here, this concerns him," Jiraiya contradicted her firmly, his voice tired. His clothing was travel stained and ripped in places, white hair hanging down his back in a tangled mess.

"Oh?" She steepled her fingers in front of her mouth and regarded the two males in front of her. "Then report."

"Nagato – known as Pein – has lost his mind," Jiraiya began. "He has disbanded Akatsuki, and from what I heard, called them all incompetent fools. He has given up hunting for the Kyuubi, and none of the former members have any desire to."

Naruto punched the air at that. "They gave up? That's great!"

"Not so great," the toad sage responded solemnly. "Instead he's fixated on a new target; Konoha. He's on his way here now."

Tsunade started. "Now?"

"I have maybe six hours on him," Jiraiya nodded wearily. "All six of his bodies – Paths, as they are known – are on their way here. We have to prepare."

"Shizune!" Tsunade barked, and the door to her office immediately swung open. She didn't wait for her assistant to acknowledge her. "Alert all ANBU, tell them there is a dangerous enemy outside our walls. Send all _jounin _here, immediately!"

"_Hai_, Tsunade-_sama_!" Shizune affirmed smartly, disappearing from the door again.

"You two," the _Hokage_ pointed at both males in front of her. "Stay for the briefing. We have to keep Pein from entering Konoha if at all possible."

* * *

Five and a half hours and lots of questions later, many of the villagers were being evacuated by the _genin_ of Konoha, while ANBU and _jounin_ manned the walls, other _jounin_ patrolling the inside of the village, in case one managed to slip through.

It wasn't hard to see where the bodies passed; from her perch on top of the _Hokage_ Tower, Tsunade could see a trail of destruction in the distance, wending its way towards her village. Jiraiya stood next to her, hands clasped behind his back.

"You can't fight this one," he remarked off hand, not looking at her.

"I know," she said just as casually, although she was itching to. It may be selfish, but she would rather fight and die than have to live with the desolation that would occur after whatever fights ended.

Jiraiya studied her out of the corner of his eye. He had known her for five decades, and in that time she had made him laugh, cry, shout, and about every emotion in between – some with more frequency than others. But he loved her. "_Love really is blind_," he whispered under his breath.

"Did you say something?"

"No…I should get to the wall, make sure they're doing fine," he abruptly changed the subject. He didn't wait for her nod to go, but disappeared off the roof.

* * *

"Sir! Six enemies approaching quickly!" an ANBU snapped out the moment Jiraiya arrived at the walls surrounding the village. "Preparing defensive maneuvers!"

Jiraiya gave a tense nod, keeping his eyes on the approaching figures. One was distinctly in the lead, a man with long orange hair held in a ponytail at the top of his head. He sped towards the wall, seeming to not even see the obstacle.

"Release!" Jiraiya barked, and from seven different positions on the wall various _jutsu_ and weapons shot forward at the figure. It dodged all easily and kept coming, the other five relentless behind it. "Keep them all away!"

More efforts were aimed at the five orange haired figures in the back, lessening the barrage on the first. He leapt over the wall and all on it, dodging yet more attacks.

"Intercept him!" roared the _Sannin_, and obediently four men broke off to chase and subdue the interloper. The other five outside the gate suddenly halted. When some forces would have left the wall to engage them in combat, Jiraiya motioned them to stay.

"Sir?" one of the ANBU questioned.

"Trust me," he replied grimly.

* * *

Naruto chased the intruder into their village with a dog-minded intensity. There was _no way_ he was going to let anyone hurt his village or those who inhabited it.

The man he was chasing didn't return any attacks they fired at him, but seemed to be uncannily good at dodging wire and other traps that were set in his path. He gestured to Neji, who was to his right, and the _jounin_ nodded and moved accordingly. Two seconds later a barrage of attacks meant to cut any _chakra_ to the body were unleashed, and the orange haired man stumbled.

But then Neji recoiled, dodging a wave of flame, and retreated next to Naruto. "I closed the _tenketsu_, but it seems he is receiving _chakra_ through those piercings in his face. I can't stop it."

_Kuso_. Naruto nodded his thanks to Neji, then glared at the back of the man they were chasing through the village. _How do we stop him?_

It seemed they didn't have to. The man came to a sudden stop of his own accord in middle of the empty street, and ran through a series of hand seals.

_That looked like summoning…_

With five puffs of smoke, the other five enemies appeared next to the original.

* * *

Jiraiya was readying his forces to combat any moves their opponents would make, when they suddenly disappeared. "What –"

"Sir!" A _jounin_ pointed towards the center of the village, where the four figures of the men he had sent after the first infiltrator suddenly flew into the air. They were followed by three of the Paths who had just been outside the walls.

"_Kuso_. Twenty of you, stay here in case it's a trick! The rest of you, come with me!" Jiraiya took off, followed by about fifty of Konoha's finest.

* * *

Tsunade watched from her tower with dismay as the Paths gained access to her village. They were grouped in one of the main streets, and she could see four _shinobi_ trying to fight them. And failing miserably. They were extraordinarily fast, and seemed to have no blind spots she could see. Whenever an attack looked as though it was going to hit one, another intercepted it and sent an attack back, or the target jumped out of the way.

"They are death," came a whispered voice from behind her, carried on the wind.

She spun around defensively, immediately at the ready, and saw no one there.

"You are responsible for the death they deal," continued that voice, and she looked around, trying to pinpoint the source. "Without your actions, this would not have happened."

A figure was falling towards her now, from the top of the cliff that rose behind the building she stood on. The same cliff the _Hokage_ Monument was carved on. It landed with a thump, a person clad in a black cloak, with odd metal rods sticking out of his back like a porcupine. She wasn't sure how he was able to move, except he took steps towards her.

"Who are you?"

"I am Pein. I am death. I am Nagato. _I am your destroyer!" _Lank red hair hung around his face, and his eyes held a demented gleam, accentuated by their rings. "You killed her, so you must die!"

Tsunade eyed the figure, even as one hand crept towards the _kunai_ holster on her leg. "Konan?"

"Yes, the angel!" he howled, throwing his head back and bearing his teeth in a rictus grin. "The one…"

"It was me or her. You were a _shinobi_, you know how it must end."

"With your death!" His eyes were wide, unseeing. "She protected me…and you killed her for it!"

"She swore to protect you, and I swore to protect my own! She knew why we fought, and put her life on the line anyway!" Tsunade paused, then added, "She _loved_ you."

Suddenly his head snapped back down, and his eyes glared at her with a fevered gleam. "Love? Love? What is love? Love only causes pain! You have caused my pain! _You killed her!" _A scream of complete unadulterated rage and pain issued from his mouth, loud enough Tsunade flinched back. He slammed his hands on the ground, crouching with black spikes from his back sticking up in the air. "_Kuchiyose: Gedou Mazou!" _

She felt the building under her feet rumble, and saw cracks beginning in the cliffs she was facing. Two large hands forced their way out of a crevice that formed between the _Nidaime _and _Sandaime_ _Hokage_ faces, then the cliff was yanked apart, and a truly monstrous beast reared its head. It wore a piece of white cloth covering its eyes, and what looked like tree stumps grew out of its back. The thing planted its hands on either side of the monument and loomed over Nagato where he stood.

As Tsunade watched in fascination, a rod of the same black metal that was found on all the other protruded from the creature's chest and shot towards Nagato, fusing with all the rods sticking out of his back.

* * *

Jiraiya ducked under a massive fist from one of the Paths, as Naruto launched another rasengan at the attacker.

"How long…can we keep this up?" the blond panted, landing next to the _Sannin_. "Even in sage mode…" his eyes were oddly slitted, a benefit of his time spent on Mount Myouboku. Two Paths were dead, but many more of their own _jounin_ were heavily injured, unable to fight anymore. He and Jiraiya were the two heavy hitters left.

"As long as we need to," Jiraiya grunted back, then ran through some hand seals. "_Katon: -_" he didn't finish as the Path collapsed to the ground as though its strings had been cut. "What?"

"The _Hokage _Monument!" Naruto shouted, eyes drawn to a large figure that now crouched over the _Hokage_ Tower, protruding from the Monument. Rods of metal extended from it, all meeting at one point.

* * *

Tsunade could see the bones sticking out of Nagato's skin already, and whatever flesh he had left was swiftly receding. But he let out another yell, and a long serpentine dragon rushed out of his summons' mouth; purple and glowing. She didn't know what it could do, but didn't want it to hit her so she could find out.

As the dragon headed straight towards her, jaws bared, she jumped up and to the side, barely missing the spikes on its back as she pushed off one of the ribs that surrounded the roof of the _Hokage_ Tower. The dragon shot past, tail whipping behind, and she landed in front of Nagato, out of range of the creature, and wary of the dragon. Tsunade shot a _kunai_ at him, but was deflected by some – thing – that also came out of the monster's mouth. She didn't dare get close to punch him as she didn't know its capabilities.

"I will take your soul," he hissed, eyes fixing on hers, and she saw the dragon come roaring back, passing her open window. Papers flapped out of it, brought along and pushed by the breeze the dragon caused, and brushed past the woman.

One flew straight at Nagato, right at his face. He froze, eyes following its path right until the moment it plastered itself across his features. The dragon stopped in its tracks, hanging in the air as though confused.

The _Hokage_ refused to let that opportunity pass. In an instant she crossed the roof, one fist drawn back and all of her _chakra_ channeled into it. She slammed it into the left side of his chest, snapping brittle bones with ease.

"No…" the paper fell away, and Nagato once again looked directly at her. "I came…to get my…revenge…" his voice was raspy, fading. The dragon behind her moved forward once more, but this time his control was jerky. The rods in his back crumbled and broke off from the monster, which disappeared in a huge puff of smoke, along with the dragon. "Konan…"

Tsunade watched impassively as the redheaded man collapsed forward onto the roof of her residence, and the rods in his back all crumbled and disintegrated, leaving only a much emancipated body dressed in a black robe.

"To protect…" she muttered, looking at the person Konan had fought to protect. "Would you have rather seen him live on like this, or to join you? I know which I would choose."

* * *

"You killed my student."

"I had no choice."

"I know…" Jiraiya sighed. "It shouldn't have come to this. He was supposed to save the world…not destroy himself for vengeance. It's my –"

"It's not your fault, _Ero-sennin_," Naruto interrupted him, coming up behind the two where they stood, looking over the ruined village.

The Paths had wreaked havoc on the village before being cut off by Nagato redirecting all his power to defeating Tsunade, mad as he was. There were fires everywhere, and the husks of burned down buildings. The _Hokage_ Monument had been cracked into pieces, with only half of Hashirama's face still intact out of the five that had once resided there.

"He chose his path, you didn't choose for him," the blond continued. "You did everything you could to try to set him on the right one."

All Jiraiya gave in response was a mute nod; it was obvious to both blondes he still blamed himself. "Konoha has burned to embers…"

"But like a phoenix we shall rise again…" Tsunade offered.

"Following the Will of Fire," Naruto finished.


	178. Tokens of the Three

Think of this as the epilogue to A Twist of Circumstances. Hope you like.

* * *

Tokens of the Three

Jiraiya stood next to Tsunade, one arm over her shoulders to keep upright. His left leg was in a brace, broken from when he slammed into a wall – courtesy of one of the Paths' punches.

On the ground in front of them was a rock, unmarked, standing alone.

"Where did I go wrong?" he whispered quietly. "Where did I fail him? He was my student, my responsibility…he was going to save the world."

"You did the best you could. You trained him to be a _shinobi_, you taught him what you believed," Tsunade responded, rubbing a comforting hand down Jiraiya's back.

"But I left him there in Ame; him, Konan, and Yahiko. Now all of them are dead. I should have brought them back with me…I could have protected them here…"

Tsunade sighed. "You told me yourself when you came back they refused to leave their country, they wanted to liberate it. They were adults, Jiraiya. They made their choices."

He didn't meet her eyes, choosing instead to look around the clearing they had placed the grave in; far away from Konoha and any who might stumble upon it.

With another sigh his teammate began walking towards a tree, forcing Jiraiya to move as well, or risk falling. Wordlessly she shrugged out from under his arm, making sure he was braced well before turning to leave.

"When you decide…come back."

Jiraiya nodded, bringing his eyes back to the rock in the middle of the clearing, marking where they had buried his long ago student. The one he had identified most with, who was going to do great things…who he thought had died nearly a decade ago.

* * *

_Jiraiya stood next to his two teammates, looking at the three orphans in front of them.. They were small and pitiful, all three very thin and wearing rain gear, complete with gas masks. _

_"We should kill them, and put them out of their misery," Orochimaru stated, drawing a kunai in preparation. Even Tsunade looked troubled, agreeing with him. _

_"No, I'll stay behind and look after them," Jiraiya interrupted firmly. There was something in those three he recognized, a will to live despite deplorable conditions._

_"Very well."_

* * *

_Nagato sat on the roof of their home, soaked through by the persistent rain. Konan and Yahiko were below, both sleeping after a hard day of training. _

_Jiraiya climbed up next to Nagato, sitting quietly with his student. "What's wrong?"_

_The boy didn't answer, burying his head on his knees instead. A couple tears trickled down his cheeks._

_"Is this because of earlier?"_

_"I lost control." His voice was muffled. "When Yahiko got hurt…I don't remember what happened. But when I could see…the enemy was on the ground, and he was dead. I did that…all I wanted to do was protect Yahiko. But I didn't want to kill him."_

_Jiraiya sighed and sat back. "I can't tell you if what you did was right or wrong. But you protected your friend, and that's all that matters. Killing someone will lead to hate, yours or theirs. And hatred leads to pain. But it's knowing pain that makes us able to feel kindness."_

_"How do I do that?"_

_"You grow up."_

* * *

_Jiraiya stood stock still, reading the missive again and again. 'Ame rebellion leaders Yahiko, Konan, and Nagato are reported dead.' The Child of Prophecy is dead._

* * *

_Should I have killed him back then?_ he wondered. _Should I have let Orochimaru kill them all? None of this would have happened then. But…_fragments of memory, of their three smiling faces, flashed behind his eyes. _I don't know how the future could have turned out. It is what it is._

Jiraiya hobbled forward, barely touching his left leg to the ground. When he got to the rock, he reached inside his tunic, fishing for the item Tsunade had given him; something she had recovered.

The _Sannin_ placed it gently on the rock, along with one of the broken metal bars that had injured Tsunade.

"Goodbye, Nagato." Without looking back, he turned and limped away.

On the rock behind him, Konan's paper flower blew in the light breeze, marking the last tribute to his three students from Ame.


	179. Soccer and Missions

In honor of the FIFA World Cup...USA lost, but they played amazing. =) Thanks to Kaiser969 for helping me to assign the team positions.

* * *

Soccer and Missions

"We're faster, better, and stronger!" Naruto argued, thrusting his chin out mulishly.

"In your dreams!" Tsunade laughed in his face. "There's no way you striplings could beat us!"

"You all are over the hill," Ino supported the blond. "You may be powerful in a battle, but soccer? We'd win, hands down."

"Prove it," Anko said belligerently from where she was lounging munching on dango. "You versus us, winner takes all."

"What are we playing for?" Shikamaru spoke up, raising his head from where it lay on his crossed arms.

"D-rank missions," Azuma supplied, grinning maliciously. "Whoever loses has to do all the D-ranks to come into the village for a month. That _includes_ all Tora missions."

"That's not fair, you have the _Hokage_! She wouldn't have to do the missions!" Tenten glared at the blonde woman, who simply raised an eyebrow.

"Even Tsunade-_hime_ has to do it." Jiraiya put an arm around his teammate who hissed at him. "Deal?"

"Deal!" twenty one voices chorused.

"Training Ground Twelve."

* * *

The Konoha Eleven met at one end of the grassy field while the eleven Konoha _jounin_ and _sannin_ gathered at the other.

"Lee," Shikamaru began, we'll need you as our striker. You're fast and can definitely kick the hardest. Sakura, you can provide distraction by punching craters if necessary, and with the _chakra_ control you learned from Tsunade-_sama_, there's no doubt you can get the ball to Lee. So you'll be left forward. Kiba, we need you opposite Sakura at right forward. Neji, you'll be Lee's back up at secondary striker; as his teammate, you two will work well together."

The four forwards nodded, then split off to talk about attack plans.

"Naruto and Shino," the genius continued, "you two will be midfielders, running back and forth between the offense and defense. Naruto can use his shadow clones for confusion and to steal the ball away, and Shino's _kikai _can help keep track of the ball at all times. Decide which sides you want."

"But I want to be a striker!" Naruto complained, only to be hit on the back of the head by Sakura, who wasn't even looking.

"Listen to Shikamaru, you idiot. I _don't _want to have to hunt down the demon cat for a month!"

"Fine…"

"Ino and Tenten, you'll be our wingbacks – left and right defensive that help to keep the ball from the goal. Whenever you get the chance, get the ball to the midfielders or forwards. Chouji, you're going to be our center back – a wall. Your job is to keep them from getting any breakaways. I'll be sweeper, and keep an eye on the play as a whole."

"What about me?" Hinata spoke up quietly.

"You're going to be our goalie," Shikamaru told her. "With your defensive sphere, almost nothing should get past you."

"_Hai."_

"Okay, break!"

At the other end, the adults too were discussing tactics. "We should play 4-3-3," Shikaku began. "Four defense, three midfielders, and three offense."

"We have defense," Chouza immediately spoke up. "Ino-Shika-Chou can provide the best blockage against them."

"We'll take midfield," Tsunade chimed in, pulling Jiraiya by his sleeve.

"I will too," Asuma stated, taking a pull on his cigarette calmly. "Between the three of us they'll be hard-pressed."

"Gai should be striker," Kakashi drawled. "And who would I be to let him go be offense all by himself? I'll take forward."

"We still need a forward, defense, and goalie," Shikaku listed, having kept track of the assignments.

"I'll be defense," Ibiki rumbled. He ignored the startled glances his way.

Jiraiya surveyed the two remaining women. "Hana, we need you on goalie," he instructed. "You probably have the steadiest hands of all of us."

"_Hai_."

"That leaves me on forward," Anko drawled. "Those poor little kiddies won't know what hit them."

* * *

The two teams faced off on the field. Asuma had called his fiancé out and Kurenai had agreed to be the referee for the game.

"Captains, to the middle!" Naruto and Tsunade stepped to the center, each looking at the other warily. "Call it." Kurenai pointed at Tsunade.

"Heads."

The coin flashed into the air, coming down with a smack in Kurenai's hand. "Tails. The children get the pick."

"We like our side," Shikamaru called out from his position near the goal.

"Very well. The adults have the ball. When I blow my whistle, the game begins."

Three…two…one…_tweet_.

Gai had possession of the ball, immediately passing it off to Kakashi as Sakura lunged at him, fist plunging into the ground. The resultant crack caused the ball to pop up into the air, which Naruto jumped into the air, a shadow clone poofing into existence. With a perfectly executed bicycle kick, he sent the ball shooting forward, where Lee stood ready to receive it.

As Asuma moved to intercept the spandex clad boy, Lee passed the ball backwards to Neji, who dribbled forward and around Jiraiya who tried to steal the ball. Right behind him waited Chouza, who slammed his hands together and grew five sizes bigger. Neji tripped over his unexpectedly larger feet, leaving the ball wide open for Inoichi to steal and pass forward to Tsunade, who sent it on to Kakashi.

The silver haired _jounin_ ran forward with the ball, then passed it to Anko on his right. She flashed through a couple hand seals while running, and two snakes slithered ahead of her, tripping up Tenten who was trying to intercept.

Shikamaru sent out his shadow in three branches, latching on to Tenten, Ino, and Chouji, manipulating them like puppets to hem in Anko and force her to pass backward. Where Shino was waiting to take the ball. Anko cursed imaginatively even as she ran back, trying to get in a good position to be passed to if they saved the ball.

Tsunade and Asuma both ran to intercept, but Shino kicked the soccerball past them to Kiba, who passed it to Sakura, who drilled it at Lee where he was waiting.

As Shikaku tried to steal the ball the boy shot forward, dodging around and getting a clear shot at the goal. Hana came out, trying to cut off Lee's angle, but he made a quick about turn and powered the ball behind her straight into the goal.

The whistle blew, signaling one point to the youths.

"You see that, _baa-chan_? You all are going down!"

* * *

Ninety minutes later and the game was decided, twelve to seven.

"What was that you said?" Tsunade mocked Naruto, watching with glee as the hyperactive blond boy rolled on the ground, clutching at his face. "You were going to win? Count again!"

"That's not fair! You shouldn't be able to swap the ball with a rock!"

"Everything's fair in soccer and missions," Jiraiya quipped, pulling him up by his jacket. "Deal with it, and go find Tora. I heard she escaped."

The adults stood and waved as the sullen teenagers filed out of the Training Ground, fanning out to search for the demon cat.

"Please tell me you had a back-up plan for if we lost," Anko said in an aside to Shikaku. "If I had to actually do D-ranks, you would be missing some vital anatomy." She fingered a _kunai_ meaningfully.

"Yeah…" he muttered, edging away from the crazy woman.


	180. To Live Forever

Warning...definitely different. Thanks to Kaiser969 for the idea, it's brilliant and I've never heard of anything like it before. Don't read if you don't want to see an evil Tsunade...

* * *

To Live Forever

"Two milligrams of liquid one, and three drops of liquid two," Tsunade muttered to herself, looking clinically at the body strapped to the table. "No adverse side-effects as of yet; desired mutations not yet achieved." She made a few marks on the clipboard she was holding, then moved over to the next table.

"Subject's skin turns blue upon addition of powder to the cocktail, heart stopped twice. Muscles grow exponentially in size, but veins do not. Blood loss to extremities common." Another few words to remind her of her progress, then she walked over to the tanks, where some shapes floated in suspension.

"Growing well, beginning to take form. Two more deaths, autopsies later to determine why." The pen tapped against the clipboard in a rapid rhythm for a few seconds as she thought.

Her eyes flicked to the watch she wore, and she cursed under her breath. "Time. No more time." Swiftly, the woman placed the clipboard back on a table in a corner where she had found it, grabbed her notes, and penned a short list of directions. The lab's other user followed her instructions, believing they were from someone else.

The blonde woman slipped out of the door – in reality a piece of wall cleverly disguised and fastened on hinges – and made sure to close it firmly behind her. Then she stole out of the sewers, masking her _chakra_ signature.

Not five minutes after she passed by, Orochimaru wandered down the way she had come, humming under his breath.

* * *

"_Sensei_, I really think he's up to something," Jiraiya persisted, standing in front of the _Hokage's_ desk, hands clasped in front of him. "He's been secretive for a long time now, but this is a whole new level! He keeps muttering under his breath about 'The Geneticist', and something about instructions and experiments when he thinks I can't hear."

"I hear you," Sarutobi responded, expression troubled, "but he is your teammate, Jiraiya, and my student. I trust Orochimaru."

"Well I don't anymore." The white haired man said it flatly. "I wouldn't trust him with my life, and I certainly wouldn't trust the safety of the village to him. Or haven't you been paying attention to the reports of missing _shinobi_ and civilians? All the _shinobi_ had ties to him before their disappearances."

"We have no proof…"

"I tracked him into the sewers yesterday, _sensei_. He disappeared, but I know there's something down there. Why is he being so secretive? I don't want to believe it, but I can't think of anything else."

"What do you think, Tsunade-_chan_?" the _Hokage_ asked his other student, who was sitting in the corner, face blank.

"I have nothing to say on the matter," she replied carefully, completely composed. "Jiraiya's suggestions may have merit, but he is our teammate."

Jiraiya spun around angrily, black eyes drilling into Tsunade's disinterested ones. "I thought you cared about this village! I thought you would do anything to protect it! And if that includes accusing our former teammate, so be it!"

"Fine, fine, I'll help you search," she told him, raising one eyebrow. "If it keeps you from going off half-cocked."

"Very well," Sarutobi sighed heavily. "Jiraiya, I will come as well, and four ANBU."

"That's all I ask, _sensei_."

* * *

The sewers were dank as Jiraiya led them along the path he had memorized, the way he had tracked Orochimaru. "Here," he stopped and signaled the others to do the same. "I lost him here."

Sarutobi signaled forward one of the ANBU, a Hyuuga, who brought his hands together and proclaimed "Byakugan." It was barely five seconds before he pointed at a section of the wall. "There's a room behind there; Orochimaru is inside."

The _Hokage_ sighed heavily. "It would seem you are correct Jiraiya."

The man needed no more words, creating a rasengan in his hand and sprinting forward. The wall disappeared into a pile of rubble, through which Jiraiya, Sarutobi, Tsunade, and the ANBU ran.

"Well, well, well…" Orochimaru hissed, turning to face the intruders from where he stood, holding a test tube to the light. "It would appear I've been discovered…"

"What have you been doing, you sick _teme_?" Jiraiya yelled, taking in the bodies strapped to the tables, and the glass tanks lining the walls.

"What have I been doing? I've been working towards improving this world," the snake _sannin_ hissed, gently placing the test tube back in its rack. "And I am not alone."

"Not alone?" Sarutobi questioned, looking around the lab with a sick feeling in his stomach. Jiraiya had been right; this was deplorable.

"No, not alone. Someone much better than me ran their own experiments, entrusting me to enact them. I know not who they were but they are magnificent." His eyes held a maniacal gleam. "You would not understand."

"Understand why you hurt your teammates, experimenting on your fellow _shinobi_? And _children_?" Jiraiya was beside himself. "You're a sick twisted –"

"Now, there's no need for compliments."

Unnoticed, Tsunade had made her way around the lab, taking in the area she had been in not two days before. All was going according to plan. Now if she could get everybody out without destroying the lab…

Her hidden bookcase, where she kept her notes, was just to the right of the glass tanks. She couldn't resist reaching behind the illusion that cloaked it, pulling out a sheaf of papers. She had to check the reactions before they faded…

"What are those?" The papers were ripped out of her hands by Jiraiya, who leafed through them quickly. "'Test subject forty-four, body unable to withstand extreme contortions…' these are more notes! Orochimaru, where else are you hiding these?"

"Those aren't mine," the raven grinned. "You have found the master."

"But…" Jiraiya looked at the top paper closer. "This is…" Black eyes shot up to Tsunade in disbelief. "_You_? _You did this?_"

"It would seem I've been caught…how pathetic," she grimaced, strolling indolently away from the man. Sarutobi and the four ANBU watched in shock and horror.

"But Tsunade-_chan_…your own people…"

"Do you have any idea how important my research here is? I've spent five years looking for the cure to mortality, and I'm finally on to something." Orochimaru was looking at her with something akin to worship, a change from the disparaging glances he used to shower her with. It was as though she had ripped a cloth away from her eyes. "They," she waved her hand towards the tanks and tables, "have proved invaluable. Without their 'donations' I would not be nearly as close. Orochimaru simply proved to be the perfect puppet, ensuring I could continue my research unencumbered."

"Your grandfather trusted you with this village; you're the _princess_!"

"I'm _helping _the village! Imagine, _shinobi _that _can't die. _Troops that can take any hit and keep on coming. We would never lose. Nobody would lose any more loved ones." Her eyes were wide, fanatical, and shining in the sickly yellow light that shown from the ceiling. "If I can just figure out that one key, make it inherited, Konoha could be unstoppable. All that's needed is a few more sacrifices…I'm well on the way to creating a potion that temporarily alters the body – the heart and brain keep going no matter what trauma the body goes through."

"I've heard enough," Sarutobi muttered, sick to his stomach. "ANBU!"

As one unit they leapt forward, weapons slamming home into her body. She didn't bother to dodge. "You think I didn't take precautions? You think you can actually _kill me_?" The laugh she let out was cruel and just a bit crazy. "Think again, _sensei_. If you don't want this gift, I'll just have to take it with me!"

With _kunai_ and swords still sticking out of her body, Tsunade went to the shelves, scooping up all her notes, and with a muttered word, sealed them in a scroll.

"Think about what you're doing, Tsunade!" Jiraiya pleaded. "You're killing people you're supposed to _protect_, people that others love!"

"Sacrifices have to be made for the greater good. I thought you knew that, Jiraiya," Orochimaru spoke up where he still stood in the center of the room. He bowed to Tsunade. "You…I misjudged."

"Don't blame yourself," she grinned at the snake _sannin_. "Are you coming?"

"Of course, mistress."

"Good." Before any of the Konoha _shinobi_ could react, Tsunade grabbed a bottle off the table next to her and threw it to the ground, sending up a permeating cloud of green smoke. When it dissipated two seconds later, Tsunade and Orochimaru were gone.


	181. Little Hellion

Thanks to addster for suggesting I do this. These events are loosely based off of my own experiences as a camp counselor...yes, down to the origami. I leave it to you to decide what actually happened and what I made up. ;P

* * *

Little Hellion

"Naruto, you know you have to behave today, right?" Tsunade asked her son for the fifth time as they walked up to the daycare. "I can't come and get you early this time."

The blond boy nodded furiously, looking up at his mother with earnest eyes. "I behave!"

Tsunade sighed, but refrained from commenting. _Just like with the other six daycares…_

They were at the door, and Tsunade knocked on it a few times. It opened almost instantly, to reveal a kind faced man with an interesting scar across his nose and spiky hair in a ponytail.

"Hello! You must be Senju Tsunade and Naruto," he greeted them warmly. "Come in, come in." The two blondes walked into a spacious front room, decorated with bright colors and a few framed drawings – obviously done by children. "I'm Umino Iruka," the man continued. "Shizune-_san_ is just getting the children lunch, if you would care to join them?"

"I'm fine, thanks," Tsunade demurred. "But I wanted to warn you…"

"Iruka, who's there?" a petite raven bustled out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish cloth. "Oh!"

"It's nice to meet you, Shizune-_san_. I'm Senju Tsunade, and this is my son Naruto."

"Of course, of course, we've been expecting you!" She crouched down to Naruto's level. Unlike most children, the blond boy didn't hide behind his mother's leg. "It's nice to meet you, Naruto-_kun_." He flashed her a wide smile, then reached out and poked her firmly in the forehead.

"Naruto!" Tsunade exclaimed firmly. "Apologize! You know better than to poke people."

"Sorry." He didn't sound sorry.

"How about you go to the kitchen, Naruto-_kun_?" Iruka suggested, placing a hand on the boy's back. "It's just through that door."

When Naruto was gone, Tsunade looked at the two adults. "I apologize. Naruto can be quite a handful. The past six daycares I've taken him to have refused to let him back…"

"Oh, I'm sure we can handle him," Shizune reassured her with a bright smile. "We've had lots of experience."

Famous last words.

"If you're sure…I'll be back in five hours to pick him up."

* * *

Shizune peeked around the couch, to swiftly retreat her head as yet another paper airplane flew at her face. "What are we going to do?" she asked Iruka, who was sitting next to her.

"First we could start by getting these jump ropes off of me…" the man suggested wryly, wiggling his fingers in demonstration as he couldn't raise his arms.

"Oh!" She immediately went to work on the knots. Luckily they weren't that tight, the children who had tied them not having the best motor skills. The only reason they hadn't been able to rope Shizune was because she had ducked behind the couch, tugging Iruka with her, and barricaded the sides with pillows. But it was only a matter of time. "We have to get them back under control."

"Origami?" the man suggested, rubbing at his arms to make sure the circulation was flowing. "It's always worked before…"

Shizune nodded. "I'll be decoy, you go for the paper. Three two one split!"

She burst out of one side of the couch and Iruka the other, scooping up as many little kids in her path as she could. They squealed as they were lifted into the air, and immediately the others came to their 'rescue'. Which mainly included trying to tackle the woman to the ground while leaving Iruka alone.

The man made it to the cabinets safely, fumbling at the lock while sending periodic looks back at his coworker. She seemed to be holding her own against the little monkeys, swinging some up into the air as they squealed with glee, even as others clung to her legs determinedly. Naruto was bouncing up and down on the couch chanting "Get her, get her, get her!"

"Who wants to do origami?" the man called to the mass, brandishing the paper. Immediately over two thirds of the kids turned towards him, drawn by the lure of learning yet another new figure, but Naruto broke the spell.

"We don't want to do origami! We want to play!"

"Play! Play! Play!" the children immediately began to chant.

The noise was broken by the ringing of the doorbell. Casting yet another glance at the crowd of children, Iruka went to the door and opened it to reveal their savior. "Hi, I'm here to pick up Naruto."

"Of course…if you wouldn't mind waiting here?" Iruka suggested. Tsunade nodded her assent, and the man went back to the other room.

"Naruto!" he called, pinning the boy with a stare. "Time to go." Naruto looked first at him, then at the doorway to the other room…and bolted. But Iruka was faster and caught the boy around the middle, slinging him up and over his shoulder. "Not a chance." He made his way out to the front room, tickling the boy mercilessly until he had no breath to protest.

"We were glad to have him," Iruka told the boy's mother pleasantly. "We'll be happy to take him back tomorrow."

She looked shocked. "A-Are you sure? Usually…" she already had another place lined up as a contingency plan. She knew her son.

"Positive."

"Thank you! Thank you so much. Let's go, Naruto. It's time to go home." She took the still squirming boy from Iruka and walked out the door, mouthing one more "Thank you" at the man.

When he went back into the other room, all of the children were seated on the floor, quietly doing origami.

"Is the Tasmanian devil gone?" Shizune asked rhetorically, looking up at Iruka from her seat in the center of the group.

"Yup. It all started with him…"

"I have just the solution."

When Tsunade dropped Naruto off again the next day, making sure the two were _sure_ they were willing to take him, they grinned and waved until she was gone. Then Shizune took the boy and led him over to his own special area of the game room, pointing to it. "You get to stay here, Naruto-_kun_. Look at all the fun things there are!" Indeed it was laden with puzzles and toys.

And it would keep him away from all the other children, ensuring a peaceful day.


	182. Too Hot

So...I was going to name this 'Heatwave'...then I realized I'd already titled a drabble that. Hence the title 'Too Hot'. This is in honor of the _very_ annoying and quite 'hot' heatwave sweeping across half the nation. It's going to get even hotter in the next couple days...and today was bad enough! Not looking forward to leaving my air-conditioned house. Anyway, enjoy.

* * *

Too Hot

"So…hot…" Tsunade muttered, fanning herself again with a sheaf of papers taken from her desk. Konoha was under a massive heatwave, and everybody was feeling the effects. Even Shizune walked just a bit slower, all her energy sapped by the oppressive air.

"Tsunade-_sama_, you're needed at the hospital…" the assistant began, not bothering to knock on the _Hokage's _door before entering. She leaned against the wooden leaf, trying to regain the strength to stand up strength and giving up. "There have been reported cases of heatstroke all around the village and the hospital is understaffed."

Tsunade cast a glance out of the huge window behind her. The streets of the village were empty save for a few very brave – or very foolish – people wandering around, sweating profusely. "Do I have to?" Her voice came out in a petulant whine as she let her head fall down upon crossed arms.

"Tsunade-_sama_! The people of this village need your help!"

"Can't they need my help when it's not hot enough to boil an egg outside?"

Shizune mustered up enough energy to glare at her mentor. "Go help them or I take away your stash of _sake_ hidden behind the bookcase. _Yes_ I know about it."

"Fine." Tsunade braced both hands on her desk and pushed up, lifting her weary body out of the chair. "But next time there's a heatwave like this, I'm moving to Snow country."

"You said that two heatwaves ago," Shizune murmured as the _Hokage_ made her way out of the building, heading towards the hospital.

The hospital was packed with people sitting in the air-conditioned waiting room at the front, looking for relief from the heat. Others still were lying on blankets as nurses gave them water.

"You would think by now people would know how to stay healthy in the heat," Tsunade barked as she stalked in, looking around at the masses. "Unconscious patients – get a gurney! Nauseous or pale, get them in a chair! Just plain dehydrated or fine…give them water and send 'em home! They all got air-conditioning units, _use them_." She turned to her assistant who had followed her. "I'm issuing a lockdown on the village due to the heat. No business is to be conducted, the Academy is released for the day. All non-essential missions are put on hold. _Understood_?"

"_Hai_, ma'am!" Shizune snapped to attention, and retreated to the _Hokage_ Tower to spread the word.

As she left through the main door Kakashi came through, supporting a nearly fainting Gai on his shoulder. "Yet another patient for you, _Godaime-sama_," he announced cheerfully, dumping Gai onto a nearby chair.

Tsunade spun around from checking the pulse of a man slouched in a chair, green coat flapping. "_What_ have you been doing, Gai?"

"Tsunade-_sama_! If I cannot complete ten circuits of Konoha in this heat, I will do one thousand pushups! If I cannot complete those, I will do two thousand vertical sit-ups! If I cannot do those…" the _jounin_ got up from the chair and made as though to start running, but the blonde woman firmly placed a manicured hand on his green spandex-clad chest and pushed him back into his seat. He didn't seem to notice.

"Kakashi, where did you find him?"

"Running in place on the ground outside of the training grounds," the copy-_nin_ reported lazily. "I figured he ought to come here before he disturbed some poor citizen."

Taking in the dopey grin on Gai's face and the way his head lolled to the side, Tsunade wholeheartedly agreed. "Let's get him somewhere that…isn't here."

The two got Gai up from his chair, each supporting an arm. "Tsunade-_sama_! I didn't know you wanted to run too!" the man exclaimed happily, leaning heavily on the woman.

"Delusional, no doubt dehydrated…" Tsunade muttered under her breath as they led Gai into an empty room and sat him on an examination table. "Kakashi, get him some water."

"_Hai_."

"Gai, I need you to answer some questions for me," Tsunade told the _jounin_. "Does your head hurt at all?"

"Nope! I'm up in the cloudsssss…."

"Are you thirsty?"

"Yes! Thirstier than a youthful flower in a drought, in need of the power of spring!"

"I'm in a room with a madman…" Tsunade muttered under her breath before feeling the man's forehead with the inside of her wrist. "Clammy. Gai, you're going to have to remain in the hospital for a day for observation. Understood?"

"But Tsunade-_sama! _I must complete my task! I have to –"

"Yeah yeah, run around the village ten times. That's being postponed. That's an order. Ah! Kakashi!" Tsunade called to the man who re-entered the room at that moment. "I'm entrusting Gai to your care. Make sure he doesn't leave the hospital. If he does…" she let the threat trail off unspecified.

"_Hai, _Tsunade-_sama_," Kakashi replied, resigned for a day of torture.


	183. How to Die Theatrically

Okay, this was absurdly fun to write. Thank you to addster for coming up with this idea *heart*. I took a few of your lines word for word...including the last one.

* * *

How to Die...Theatrically

"Sarutobi-_sensei_, you _promised!_" Tsunade whined, pouting up at her teacher. "You _promised_ you would come on our first C-rank mission!"

"I know, I'm sorry Tsunade-_chan_," Sarutobi said – or rather, tried to say. It came out more like "I dow, I'b dory Dunade-_chan_." Groping around for a tissue, the man blew at his nose, trying to clear it so he could breathe earlier. It did nothing.

"Who will go with us then _sensei_?" Orochimaru asked seriously, looking up through a curtain of black hair at where the man lay on his bed, propped up by pillows.

"Ah…" Sarutobi thought furiously, then had a brain blast. "Dunade-_chan_, can you ged your uncle?"

The blonde girl nodded furiously before darting out of the room, on a mission of her own. Not two minutes she returned, reluctant uncle in tow.

"Hiruzen, do I really have to…" the man whined, more like his great-niece than the brother of the leader of the village.

"Jud take my place for dis one mission," Sarutobi managed, before closing his eyes in exhaustion. The flu really took it out of a man.

"I'll tell grandpa!" Tsunade chirped, hanging off her great-uncle's hand. "I'll tell him you weren't willing to help out a man in need…"

Tobirama winced, picturing his brother's anger. "You know, little kids didn't used to be so manipulative," he muttered to no one in particular. "Fine. Get your gear; we're leaving in thirty minutes. Meet at the gate."

Amid the various whoops, Tobirama pinned his student with a glare. "If you ever ask this of me again, I'll make sure you're first on the roster for a _long_ string of D-ranks."

"Don't dreaten a man when he's down…" came the distinct murmur from the sick man's mouth.

* * *

"Tobirama-_sama_! You have white hair too! White haired people are awesome, aren't they? We're so much better than everyone else, like _blondes_…" Jiraiya rambled on has he had been for the past ten minutes of walking, dancing around the man and pointing out the various features that made white haired people the best.

Tobirama had tuned him out after the first three minutes, but there was another pest. Orochimaru. The boy simply wouldn't let up about what _jutsu_ he knew, and if he would teach any to the boy, and if the _Hokage_ knew any _really_ powerful ones, and if he knew them…it was enough to drive a man insane.

Then there was his niece. The girl really didn't know how to stay on the beaten path, insisting on wandering off to examine various plants of interest or anything 'shiny' she spotted in the woods. Which more often than not was a sunbeam. But if he didn't keep track of her and his brother found out, the man would bring nine ways of hell down on Tobirama…and he really didn't want to see that happen.

_I've been through this once_, Tobirama reasoned with himself. _I've taught myself some 'darling children', who were supposed to grow up and take their own teams, and keep me from having to do this again, but no. Of course it wouldn't work out like that. But I've done my duty. So…I know. I'll trick them. If they're really shinobi, they'll realize what happened…_Of course, he knew they probably wouldn't. After all they were still children. But still. He was fed up enough that it was worth it.

In the middle of a step, Tobirama simply collapsed, falling forward and to the side heavily, eventually landing on his back, eyes closed.

Orochimaru and Jiraiya walked on for a couple steps, not noticing he wasn't with them, until the raven turned to ask Tobirama yet another question. Then paused. "Tobirama-_sama_?" He looked backwards. No…the man wasn't there. He looked down. Oh. There he was. "Um…Jiraiya?"

"_What_, _teme_?"

"Tobirama-_sama_…"

Jiraiya followed Orochimaru's pointing finger to the still figure on the ground. And immediately began freaking out. "Tobirama-_sama_! Are you okay? Open your eyes! Get up!" He got down on his knees and began shaking the man's shoulder, trying to get a response. "You can't die on us! You aren't allowed to die!"

His fear seemed to be infectious, and Orochimaru found himself right next to the _baka_, trying to get their temporary _sensei _to 'live again'.

Tobirama smiled to himself, making sure his face stayed completely slack and immobile. Neither of them had thought to check for a pulse. His 'play dead' trick was working better than expected. He would have to do this more often. Wait. Tsunade wasn't fussing over him…well she always was the odd one. Who knows, maybe she was happy he was dead? No wait, that was morbid thought. After all, his favorite – and only – great-niece loved him!

* * *

Tsunade had wandered off to find a nice long – and preferably somewhat sharp and pointy – stick with which to poke her great-uncle. She had no doubt he was faking…but after all, just to be sure, a person wanted to maintain their distance from a body.

She was just examining two to see which was the better contender when there was a rustle behind her. Before the girl could turn around, a hand was over her mouth and an arm around her chest, pinning her arms to her body, and she was gone.

* * *

Tobirama was beginning to worry. It had been over five minutes and no sounds from Tsunade, although plenty from the two boys as they tried to figure out what they would do with his body. Yeah, she was an independent girl, but even his niece wouldn't leave her team for _that_ long…right? No. Something was up.

In under a second he was standing up, and Orochimaru and Jiraiya were gaping at him like he was the living dead. Which, he supposed, he was, at least to them.

"Where's Tsunade?" the white haired man barked out, and immediately the two boys snapped to attention. Then looked around.

"I…don't know," Orochimaru stated, worried now. "She was going that way…" and he pointed.

"Tsunade?" Tobirama called, his voice resonating through the trees. "Tsunade!" No answer. "Crap." He immediately gave the signal to be on alert, and Jiraiya and Orochimaru crouched, pulling out _kunai_ and looking around warily. _Hashirama is going to kill me…_

"Men, our damsel is in distress."


	184. For a Lock of Hair

Again thanks to addster. I swear you wrote like half of this!

* * *

For a Lock of Hair

"Jiraiya, you scout right, Orochimaru, left. I'll take center," Tobirama ordered, pointing to the two boys. "We're going to find her. Understood?"

It didn't take long for Orochimaru to spot signs of a disturbance, and a clear path through the forest. Whoever had taken Tsunade wasn't very good – they had left behind a trail that a fresh _genin_ could follow. He called Jiraiya and Tobirama over, and the three males immediately started following it.

Not too far away from the forest was a small town – right where the path led. The first thing Tobirama noticed was the old lady sweeping her porch with a well-worn broom, straw scratching over the wooden floor again and again. Then he saw the oxen-drawn carts, loaded with firewood, grain, and produce. _We're definitely in the backwater…_It was a good thing he carried a picture of his great-niece on him at all times. Not that anyone knew about such a thing of course…

"Ma'am?" he approached the old lady on the porch purposefully, striding up to her with a charming smile on his face.

No answer.

"Ma'am?" he said just a little louder, stepping up onto the wooden front porch.

She looked up, and pressed a hand to her heart. "Oh! You startled me!"

Tobirama moved a little closer, signaling Jiraiya and Orochimaru to stay back, and held out the picture of Tsunade. "Do you recognize her?"

The woman didn't even look at the picture, instead examining Tobirama with a slightly unnerving scrutiny. "Well, well, aren't you a handsome devil!"

There was a muffled laugh-turned-cough from behind Tobirama that the man decided to ignore for dignity's sake. "Ahem, thank you. Now, have you seen this girl?" He placed the photo right in the woman's line of vision.

"Oh! What a lovely child! Just look at those beautiful eyes. And that _hair_…" the woman sighed enviously. "What I would give for hair like that…I'd steal her in a heartbeat."

Maybe a lead. "Did you steal her?"

But the woman's attention wandered back to Tobirama once more, and she patted him on the cheek. "Are you married? Because if not…" she trailed off suggestively.

He really wasn't sure his face wasn't beet red from embarrassment. "Ah…"

"Oh well," she chirped, and turned back to her sweeping. Tobirama beat a hasty retreat.

"She's not the one," he announced to his two remaining charges, determinedly not looking back at the porch. "We'll just have to keep asking if anyone has seen a girl with blonde hair…"

"A blonde girl, you say?" came a voice from behind Tobirama, and he spun around to see a – thankfully – much younger woman than that last standing there with a basket on her hip. "I saw someone running down that way with a blonde girl in their arms." She pointed down the street that led further into the town. "I couldn't tell you who though."

"Thank you," Orochimaru told the woman gratefully, and the three males took their leave. It wasn't long until they happened upon a string of houses, and went window to window. Most were empty, their occupants off working to live, but the fifth one in the string…

"It looks like he's eating dinner," Jiraiya whispered hoarsely, standing on tiptoe to see into the window. At the table was seated a cloaked and hooded figure – even in the house, which was odd – and at the other end was Tsunade, tape over her mouth and arms bound to her sides with rope. "The place looks unsecured."

"Okay, on three," Tobirama instructed. "Jiraiya through the window, Orochimaru through the back, and me through the front door." The boys dispersed. "One, two, three!" He burst through the wooden door with ease, just as Jiraiya crashed through the window and fell to the ground in a roll, Orochimaru entering with much more elegance through the back door.

"Let her go!" Jiraiya yelled boldly, running up to the surprised figure and brandishing a _kunai_. "A man should never do such –" The hood fell back to reveal a much prettier face than expected. "You're a _woman_?" Jiraiya cut himself off, voice strangled.

From his position, Tobirama could see tears coursing down his great-niece's cheeks as she fought her bonds. As he moved towards her, Tsunade's captor seemed to have the same idea and leapt behind her, holding a knife to the girl's throat.

"Okay, take it easy," the man began, holding up both hands to show they were empty. "Don't do anything rash…"

"You aren't getting her back! Do you know how much a lock of her hair would sell for?"

What?

The woman fingered a few strands of Tsunade's hair as the girl whimpered and tried to wiggle away. "None of that." The woman picked her up around the waist so the girl's legs dangled loose while keeping the knife on her neck. "I could be rich enough to buy this whole village in a month." Her eyes were wide and maniacal. "If I keep her alive, in a year I could buy a whole country!"

Unbeknownst to the crazy lady, Orochimaru had been inching closer from behind, and now he made a lunge, trying to incapacitate – not kill – their opponent. A gash opened up along the inside of her arm, and the woman squawked in annoyance. "You little _brat_! You want to play that game? _Fine!"_

No matter that the woman was crazy…she was _fast_. Tobirama watched her move even as Jiraiya darted at her, _kunai_ ready, but Tsunade and her captor were out the window and down the street in less than five seconds.

Tobirama darted out the door looking around frantically; searching for some way to catch up to her. His eyes alighted on Jiraiya. "Snowflake!" The boy pointed to himself quizzically. "Yeah you! Get over here!" As the boy drew abreast of him, Tobirama said "I'm going to throw you at her."

"What?"

"Ready?" He grabbed Jiraiya's shirt.

"_No!"_

"Too bad." With a giant heave, Tobirama launched the boy into the air, on a direct trajectory with the running woman. He slammed into her, arms wide, and tackled her to the ground – and accidentally punched her in the chest.

In shock the woman let go of Tsunade, and the blonde girl fell to the ground, rolling along it away from her captor. Orochimaru immediately hastened to untie his teammate.

"You little pervert! You groped me!"

"I did no such thing! I wouldn't want to grope someone like you anyway!"

The battle on the ground had grown into more of a wrestling match – or a grab and escape match – as the woman tried to capture Jiraiya so she could wreak revenge on him, and he simply trying to escape the crazy lady. Tobirama solved the issue neatly by tying up the woman.

"Now. We're going to go home, and you aren't ever coming near us, understood?" he said in a very nice calm voice, that nonetheless gave both listening boys chills. The would-be captor seemed to be just as unnerved, for she nodded vigorously. "Good."

* * *

Tsunade spent the trip back to the village curled up in her great-uncles arms, not making a sound and looking completely zoned out. When they walked into the _Hokage_ Tower, the four found Hashirama and Sarutobi waiting there expectantly.

"_Sensei! _You're feeling better?" Orochimaru queried, taking in Sarutobi's appearance. He _looked_ just as bad, but he was standing…

"A bit, Orochimaru-_kun_."

Hashirama looked first at his brother then at his granddaughter. "Tobi? What's wrong with Tsunade? Why is she so…quiet?" The girl's eyes moved to look at her grandfather but she made no other sound.

Jiraiya piped up. "She saw this _humongous_ bug, and it popped on her hand!"

Hashirama opened his mouth, then closed it without making a sound, and moved to take his granddaughter from his brother. But she shied away, clinging tighter to her grand-uncle. "Tsunade, come here, your mother and brother are waiting at home."

"Hey, I got this Hashi. How about you stay here and cover for me if any lovely ladies come looking?" and he winked at his brother. Then he disappeared before the _Hokage_ could protest.

He reappeared outside a dango stand and, seating Tsunade at one of the outdoor tables, went inside to order as much as they could both eat. When he came out, the two family members sat eating in silence, until Tsunade broke it.

"I don't want to go home yet."

"I know. That's why I brought you here."

Finally there were no more dango, and no more excuses to not go home.

When they appeared outside the Senju estate, Tsunade's mother was waiting at the door with Nawaki in her arms. "Tsunade, how was the mission?"

The blonde girl simply muttered "Okay," and took her baby brother, heading upstairs.

"Uncle? Did something happen?"

_Understatement of the week_. "She'll be okay," was the reassurance he offered his niece.


	185. Murphy's Law

I hate Murphy's Law. If many things can go wrong, the one that will go wrong will always be the worst. Proven today.

* * *

Murphy's Law

Tsunade eyed the dice on the ground in front of her, then picked them up and shook them gently. _Just need anything below twelve. Anything below twelve to win. Even my luck can't be that bad. There's no way I can lose._

She threw the dice. A one…_yes, yes yes_…and the second die was about to stop…A dog, she didn't know where from, just _happened_ to walk on by at that moment and _eat_ her die. "What?"

"Ah…" the man running the games looked just as mystified. "Roll again." He handed over another die for her to use.

Tsunade took it, looking askance at the dog as she did so. "Don't you be eating this one." The animal thumped his tail in response, grinning a doggy grin.

She rolled again, and was sure the dog's eyes were following it, debating whether or not to snap up the dice, but they landed. A six…and a six.

She lost _everything._ "No no no no no! Damn Murphy's Law!"

* * *

Naruto eyed his coveted ramen cabinet hungrily. It was dinner time and he didn't have enough money to go out to Ichiraku's – hence the emergency ramen stash at home for when he couldn't fight the craving anymore.

With almost reverent hands, he reached out and opened the cabinet door, picturing a golden light issuing from inside. There were stacks and stacks of plastic containers just waiting to be unwrapped, heated, and eaten with pleasure.

Naruto fished around in the back, searching for that one special ramen he had been saving for over six months. It was a limited edition pack, a special flavor made for the anniversary of Konoha's creation.

He hummed as he put the water on to boil in a kettle, laid out his special chopsticks, and began his ramen song.

"Ramen is the king of all, ramen is the best.

Ramen keeps me safe and strong, ramen is the best!"

Repeat five times.

It wasn't the best song in the world, but it was _his_. Just as the precious ramen was! "My precious…"

If a cackle escaped him as he carried the bowl to the table, it went unnoticed. With trembling fingers, he peeled at the top paper of the ramen, preparing for that first glance of ramen-y goodness…

His eyes widened in shock. "No, no, no, it can't be true! It can't be! This is a cruel trick! Where is my ramen, where is it!"

The bottom of the bowl was nonexistent, eaten through by rats, and his ramen was _gone_. _Gone_.

His scream of denial could be heard echoing through the village.

* * *

Naruto rubbed nervous hands on his pants legs, trying to dry them of sweat. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" he asked his fiancé. "We could always postpone this…"

"No," Hinata responded firmly. "We've already delayed it far too long. Meeting my father isn't that bad, I promise."

"Do you or do you not remember how terrified you were of him when we were younger?" Naruto demanded, looking up at her with wide eyes.

"Well yes, but he's much better now," Hinata defended her father. "He even gets along great with Neji-_nii-san_."

"That doesn't help _me_." Just then a quick rap sounded from the front door, and Naruto's eyes shot towards it. "He's _here_!"

"What?" Hinata's eyes widened to match her fiancé's. "But the food isn't ready yet!"

"How about we let him stay out there?"

"No! We have to invite him in…" she almost ran towards the door and opened it. "Welcome, father."

"Hinata." Hiashi inclined his head regally and stepped into the small apartment. "It is nice to see you well."

Naruto sat paralyzed on the couch watching as Hiashi walked into the room. "Ah…"

The elder Hyuuga raised an eyebrow at his future son-in-law, but made no comment and turned to his daughter. "How has he been treating you?"

Hinata flushed bright red at the comment, and Naruto shot off the couch. "Hey! I treat her fine!"

Hiashi held up a hand to the blond. "Hinata?"

"F-Fine…" she squeaked, eyes darting between her annoyed fiancé and her father. "He is wonderful, father. He treats me well…" She sniffed at the air, then her eyes widened in shock. "Excuse me!" The raven rushed off to the kitchen.

Naruto eyed Hiashi warily, left alone in the room with the man. "I…" He shut his mouth and tried again. "We..." He gave up.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes before Naruto sniffed at the air as well. "Is that burning…?"

Hinata appeared in the doorway of the kitchen looking frazzled. "I don't know what happened! The oven overcooked the meal! Father, I'm sorry!"

"Hey, Hinata, don't worry about it!" Naruto immediately reassured his fiancé. "We'll just get takeout!"

Hiashi didn't respond, his eyes caught by something lying on the ground half shoved under the couch. "What is that?"

Hinata followed his eyes, turned bright red, and fainted. Naruto barely caught her before she hit the ground.

After all, what daughter wants her father to see a book given to her by friends intent on getting her together with her crush?


	186. Unlucky

Thanks to addster for the dare.

Also, I am now at 1000 reviews! If Mei, as the 1000th reviewer, although anonymous, would like to claim a prize...=)

* * *

Unlucky

Tsunade sighed, running fingers through the loose hairs framing her face. It was Friday the Thirteenth, a completely unlucky day, and she had been very relieved to get through the majority of it without any bad luck omens. Now she was on the homestretch.

There was a knock on her door, the before she could open her mouth to yell at the person to _go away_, it opened to reveal a blond boy carrying a cat and with a pack on his back.

Tsunade's eyes immediately fixed on the cat. The cat. Was black. No.

"_Baa-chan!_" Naruto began cheerily, bouncing up to the desk. "Look what I found wandering outside the _Hokage_ Tower! I think he wanted to come see you!"

The woman's eyes widened as she thrust her chair back from the desk. "Shizune!"

The raven came running in from the force of the shout. "What is it, Tsunade-_sama?_" Her eyes immediately zoned in on the cat as well. Oh dear. Tsunade had a very deep fear of anything perceived unlucky – normally she had it under wraps, but on Friday the Thirteenth it always reared its ugly head.

"Get it out, get it out!"

Shizune stepped forward, taking the black cat deftly from a bewildered Naruto's arms. "Don't worry about it," she told the boy gently. "I'll take care of him."

Naruto nodded mutely, more than a little confused, but turned back to Tsunade with just as much enthusiasm. "And guess who I passed on the way! Iruka-_sensei_ up on a ladder repairing the Academy sign!"

Tsunade opened her mouth to speak, paused, closed it, and tried again. "Naruto, did you walk under the ladder?"

"Yeah! How did you know that?"

The blonde buried her head in her hands. Left right and center, bad luck was everywhere. "And I suppose that huge crack in front of the Academy, you stepped on that too?"

"While going under the ladder…"

"Okay." Drawing in a bracing breath, Tsunade looked up at her favorite boy. "What else?"

"Well, I heard it was going to rain soon, so I was going to ask if I could borrow an umbrella." Naruto looked around the office, and spotted the perfect umbrella in a corner. "Hey, can I borrow that?" In just five steps he was over there, and before the _Hokage _could stop him, decided to 'test' its opening capabilities. _Fwap_.

The _Hokage's_ head hit the desk in front of her. "Naruto." Her voice was muffled. "Close that. Close that now."

With a quizzical look at her he obeyed, refurling the umbrella neatly and placing it under his arm. "What?"

"Never mind."

"Okay." As he turned around to face Tsunade completely, the point of the umbrella brushed against the wall – right where her mirror was located. It was the work of two seconds for gravity to take effect and the frame to crash to the ground.

Glass shattered, spilling across the floor. Tsunade's nearly inaudible moan was covered by the sound. _It can't get any worse…_

"I'm sorry," Naruto looked abashed. "I'll buy you a new one, I promise."

"Don't bother…"

The boy hesitated for a second. "I'll make it up to you!" He shrugged off his backpack, fishing in it. "I brought some food…you can have it!" He pulled out a covered bowl, as well as a salt shaker. The bowl he placed on the desk, and made to do the same with the salt.

Tsunade could only watch horrified and helpless as the salt shaker slipped out of Naruto's hand in slow motion, bouncing twice on the desk before falling to its side, spilling salt granules out onto the wood.

"That's it. Out, out, out!" she cried, picking the boy up by the scruff of his jacket and carrying him out of the office forcibly. "You're going to have all kinds of bad luck today! Now and probably for the next ten years! I refuse to let it rub off on me! Get away, go buy a horseshoe, and find a four leaf clover with a ladybug on it!"


	187. White Eyes

Yes its short. The poem I wrote myself. I hope it's good.

Mei - Yes of course you may ask for that as a prize. Just drop me a review or a pm when you think of it. =)

* * *

White Eyes

_In the painted room  
A girl sighs, a window shines  
Moonlight drifts through floating on the carpet  
White circles on a dark background  
Everything is dark but her eyes  
Reflecting the moonlight  
Staring off into the distance  
Not looking at anything  
Not recognizing anything_

Hinata looked out her window from where she sat on her bed. Her eyes were unfocused, shining in the pale moonlight that filtered through into her room, white irises reflecting even brighter.

Her arms were wrapped loosely around her knees, tucked into her chest like a ball. It was a position she assumed often, when either thinking or hiding. Sometimes both.

Tonight her family plagued her mind.__

The door is closed and locked  
She wants no visitors  
No one to disturb her thoughts  
Or lack of them  
She wants just the moonlight  
A silent visitor to her room  
One that neither hates nor loves  
Simply exists, floating in time

She loved her family, even as she feared them. Her father was the defining force in her life – she could count on one hand the number of compliments she had received from the man. And despite all that he was her father, and she loved him unconditionally. He was the cause of her stutter and lack of self-confidence, but at the same time he showed gratitude – small as it was – for the small gestures she did to show her affection.

Neji was her brother in all but blood – in blood he was her cousin. As children they had been close; that was until his father had been killed to save her. Since then he had possessed a hatred of her, one so strong he would not hesitate to kill her. He had even attempted to do so during the _Chuunin_ Exams, shredding the muscles around her heart and injuring her for a long time.

And yet at the same time during the _Chuunin_ Exam, his viewpoint had changed thanks to Naruto, and he had let go of his hatred. Now, even though he still referred to her as Hinata-_sama_ as he had before, she could sense affection in his tone.

Her sister Hanabi. The girl was five years her junior, and the Hyuuga family had done everything they could to foster a rivalry between the two. Hanabi was manipulated into fighting for the position of clan heir, believing her sister to be too weak, and with the threat of the curse seal hanging over her head.

Despite all that there was a bond between the two even family dynamics could not break. Hinata always looked out for and protected her sister, even if it caused her physical pain, and when Hanabi was littler she did not notice, but as she grew aware of the currents in the Hyuuga Clan the younger sister began to realize exactly what Hinata had sacrificed.__

There is no conversation  
No quiet talking to herself  
Just silent contemplation  
And the memories in her head  
Constantly replaying  
Some joyful some sorrowful  
But all making her who she is  
The girl in the painted room


	188. Family Secrets

I really need to start doing these earlier in the day...

Thanks to addster for the dare, hope this suits.

* * *

Family Secrets

Mito sighed, looking out across the village she called home from her balcony. She had lived in Konoha for over forty years, and she loved every bit of it. And had sacrificed a part of herself for it.

With another sigh she turned away, heading back into her rooms where she should remain undisturbed for a few hours. Her 'resident' was acting up again, and she could feel the seal becoming stronger on her stomach. Overall she and the Kyuubi had a peaceful relationship, but when all was said and done it was a _bijuu_, a force of nature that lived to roam the earth. Something it definitely couldn't do as long as it remained in her body.

Every time the fox acted up, Mito made sure to check the seal; it was something she would rather not do when anyone was around to see it. Her daughter was out shopping, Hashirama at the Tower, Tobirama out on a long term mission, and Tsunade was supposed to be off at team training; he mansion was deserted.

Mito locked the doors to the balcony behind her, making sure all the windows to the room were covered. She wanted no prying eyes to see; it was a matter of personal pride. Only when she was sure she was alone did she open her robe, looking down at her stomach.

Eight black lines radiated out of a circle that spanned most of her abdomen, a spiral in the center made out of symbols. There were other symbols interspersed in-between each line, locking and double locking the Kyuubi into her body while leaving her mind free of its influence.

"_Obaa-sama_?"

Mito spun around in surprise, eyes shooting to the small figure standing at the door to her bedroom. "Tsunade-_chan_? What are you doing here so early?"

"Training let out early," the girl replied, staring at Mito's stomach. "_Obaa-sama_, why are their black lines on your abdomen?"

The red-haired woman closed her eyes in pain. This was a discussion she had never wanted to have with her granddaughter, but at the same time she refused to lie to the girl.

"Sit down, Tsunade-_chan_."

The blonde girl made her way over to the large bed, eyes never leaving Mito's stomach. Her grandmother covered it self-consciously, not wanting her granddaughter to see what made her so different.

"Tsunade-_chan_, what do you know about the _bijuu_?"

"They're spread throughout the villages," the girl responded promptly. "Suna possesses the Ichibi, Kumo the Nibi and Hachibi, Kiri the Sanbi and Rokubi, Iwa the Yonbi and Gobi, Taki the Nanabi, and Konoha the Kyuubi. But I don't know how…"

Mito sighed again. It was becoming a habit, she noted idly. "When Uchiha Madara defected, your grandfather was able to bring the Kyuubi under control due to his _mokuton. _In order to keep it contained and so nobody else would steal it I –" the elder woman caught her breath, remembering the day sharply in her mind. "I sealed it within myself, and made sure nobody but your grandfather knew where it was."

Throughout the whole explanation Tsunade stared at Mito's abdomen, now covered by cloth, trying to see why her grandmother was so different and yet not. "But you act just the same as us," she finally said, confused. "You're no different."

A small chuckle escaped Mito at the blonde girl's words. "I'm glad you see it that way – most wouldn't. It means you're a very perceptive child. But this is a village secret, do you understand Tsunade?" She waited until her granddaughter nodded seriously. "It means you can't tell anybody. If a foreign _shinobi_ knows I carry the Kyuubi, they will try to steal me for their own use."

"I promise I won't tell, _obaa-sama_," Tsunade promised solemnly, then threw her arms around her grandmother, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "It just means you're even more special!" With that she bounded off, intent on finding something fun to do for the rest of the day.

For a long time after she left Mito remained sitting on the bed, one hand touching her cheek and smiling lightly.


	189. For Family

Okay I really feel like I'm on a Kyuubi bent, but it's the only idea I had tonight. The places in italics are flashbacks.

Also, I got to see two homeruns tonight! That brings the amount I've seen all summer to a grand total of five. =)

* * *

For Family

Kushina sat at the kitchen table, thinking hard. It wouldn't be much longer; soon her son would be born, and all hell would break loose. Well, hopefully they would be able to _keep_ hell from breaking loose, but one thing she had learned about the life of a _shinobi_ was that almost nothing ever went to plan. They were taking precautions however.

As though he could feel her thoughts, Naruto moved, feet thumping like a drummer against her stomach. With a smile, Kushina placed her hand over her abdomen and looked down, long red hair forming a curtain around her face.

The seal restraining the Kyuubi had been visible for her whole pregnancy, a visible reminder to the force of nature within her. She could remember the day she received it and the day she first found out about her burden.

_Kushina faltered, standing at the door to the room. The lady sitting on the bed looked forbidding, with her fading grey hair up in buns, seal tags hanging from the style. Then she opened her arms, and suddenly the girl was rushing into them, burying her face in the stranger's abdomen. _

_"Do I really have to?" Kushina finally said after a few minutes of silence. Her voice was muffled by the heavy fabric of Mito's clothes. _

_The older woman pulled the child back by her shoulders, meeting Kushina's young eyes with her own experienced ones. "You're the only hope we have, Kushina," she told her family member seriously. "Only you have the special chakra that will be able to constrain the Kyuubi as well as I have been able to."_

_Kushina sniffed and rubbed at her eyes surreptitiously. "Does it…hurt? Or try to escape? What if it takes me over? It's a being of hatred…"_

_The smile Mito gave her was full of understanding. "You're strong, Kushina-chan. It will hurt, but after a while the pain will fade, and the only reminders you will have will be the seal and the knowledge. There is only one way to tame the Kyuubi, however. The answer is love. Only love can nullify and defeat hatred. Remember that Kushina. No matter what anybody else says, never forget love."_

"Love…" Kushina whispered to herself, rubbing her hand slowly across her swollen abdomen, trying to calm down Naruto. "

Two arms came around the woman, embracing her and pulling her back into a man's chest behind her. "What are you thinking love?" came a light tenor voice, and Kushina looked up at the man with a smile on her face.

"The past and the future," she answered honestly, albeit cryptically. Minato's hands moved to cover her own where they rested over the couple's child.

"Oh?" His smile was teasing, lighting his face with a mischievousness that was half the reason she had fallen for him.

"I'm looking forward to Naruto being born, and we can finally see him."

His arms came around her tighter, expressing his same sentiment. "I'm sorry to kiss and run, but I can only be away from the office for a few moments," he told her regretfully. "I'll be back in home for dinner though." With a kiss and a hug, he was gone again, leaving Kushina to her thoughts.

_"You called for me, Hokage-sama?" Kushina asked the Sandaime Hokage formally, standing in front of the man. Even though the man was retired, she had never gotten out of the habit._

_"Ah, yes, Kushina-chan." The Professor looked up from the scroll he was studying, taking a puff on the pipe that was never far from his hand. "I understand congratulations are in order?"_

_She blushed, one hand instinctively going to her stomach, despite only having known for a couple days. "Yes."_

_"There was something I wished to discuss with you, relating to you…tenant," the elder man began tentatively, gesturing to a chair opposite him. "Sit down."_

_"It won't affect my child, will it?" A sudden fear took her over, and all the blood drained from her face._

_"No, nothing so serious," Sarutobi was quick to reassure the young woman in front of him. "But as we discovered with Mito-sama, the seal restraining the Kyuubi will weaken when you are in labor."_

_The redhead relaxed in her chair slightly, although her hands still clutched the armrests tightly. "Will there be a danger of it escaping?"_

_"Possibly. We would like to seclude you prior to your labor, to make sure nobody attempts to take advantage of the seal's weakening to manipulate the Kyuubi. Your willpower should be enough to keep it restrained but…" he trailed off, hoping she would see what he was going at. _

_Kushina wasn't remotely dumb, and immediately understood the implications. "Very well. Take any precautions you deem necessary."_

_"Thank you, Kushina-chan," Sarutobi told her, rising from her chair. "Now, I believe Minato will be getting off work soon?"_

"You'll be worth it all, Naruto," she whispered into the silence of their home, closing her eyes; the better to feel and concentrate on the small movements of her son. "Every last bit."


	190. Do Anything

All this Kyuubi stuff is too good to resist.

Mei - I don't know that I'll do a crossover in Tales of the Leaves, but I could write it as a separate oneshot. So I'll take both your ideas =)

* * *

Do Anything

Kushina writhed on the table, in more pain that she had ever imagined. At the same time she was laboring to bring her son into the world, the Kyuubi was fighting to be free of the constraints wound about it by the seal on her stomach. A seal that was pulsing with a faint red light.

Her scream was cut off only by her own will, as her hand clutched tighter at the sheets – wanting to close around her husbands. But he was busy trying to keep her seal in check as the Kyuubi pushed against it.

Nope, she couldn't hold it in. As the next contraction began, she let out a yell, not quite sure what was coming out of her mouth. "_It hurts!"_

Inside her mind the Kyuubi was rattling at it gates, whispering malevolent suggestions into her mind at the same time it let _chakra_ sneak through her mind. What it would do to her, her family, her _son_, the moment it was let free. Kushina only strengthened her resolve. No way was she letting the Kyuubi loose on Konoha.

Biwako's normally calming voice came from the foot of the bed, full of excitement. "I can see the head! Push, Kushina!"

With a herculean effort, Kushina fought to bring her son into the world. And a reedy cry greeted her gladly. "Naruto…" she gasped as Minato took his son gently, bringing him to his mother's face. "You're finally here…"

Then her concentration was torn back to the Kyuubi, beginning to force its body out of the seal on her stomach. The spiral pattern had completely disappeared and a red-black bulge was beginning to show instead, formed solely of _chakra_.

The next sequence of events was hazy to Kushina because of the pain she was in, but there was fast movement, the wails of her newborn son, and then an explosion. "Naruto! Minato!"

She was swooped off the table, carried by a strange man, and she was helpless to resist. Chains were looped around her arms and neck, restraining her in an upright position she honestly wasn't sure she would be able to maintain without support. When her vision cleared from another flash of pain, the redhead saw she was standing on a rock in the middle of a lake, chains and seals adorning more rocks around her, and a figure standing on the bank. "What…do you want?"

"To destroy Konoha using the Kyuubi," the man replied blandly. She couldn't see any of his face, but he seemed quite nonchalant for what he was discussing. "I've taken you from your husband, and he's busy taking care of your son. No one will be here to protect you and that weakening seal." With a hand he gestured to the black hole forming on her abdomen, a portal to the Kyuubi.

Something tugged at her _chakra_, and all of a sudden she couldn't keep the _bijuu _at bay anymore. With a roar, a mass of _chakra_ exploded out of her, and the Kyuubi's head began to form above the rocks, chains of seal symbols shooting down Kushina's arms and legs.

_Naruto…Minato…I'm sorry_, Kushina thought, collapsing as the chains binding her upright disappeared. _I couldn't keep him at bay…_"Wait." It took all she had to get the word out, and she really wasn't sure why she was alive. Her body was screaming at her, insisting she should be dead. Only sheer willpower kept her conscious.

"Oh, are you still alive?" The man sounded genuinely interested. "Even after having the Kyuubi ripped from you…but not to worry. I will kill you by means of your tenant."

A giant clawed foot began to descend on her, and all Kushina could do was look up to meet her fate. Then there was a rush of sky and suddenly she was in Minato's arms as her husband leapt away from the menace behind him.

"Is…Naruto….all right?" she gasped out, eyes flickering as they tried to keep focused on his face. It was beginning to fade in and out.

"He's fine." Minato's voice was warm and comforting, a rumble in his chest she could feel. She clung to the sensation, fighting for those few more minutes.

Another blur of scenery and the couple were in their basement, and she could hear small snuffles, as though from a baby. Minato paced to the edge of the room where a small blond baby lay mostly covered by a sheet.

"Naruto…" Kushina breathed, as Minato placed her down next to her baby boy. Her arm curled around him instinctively, pulling Naruto closer to her body so she could reassure him. But no words came. Instead she simply breathed in his scent, hoping just her presence would calm him down. And it did.

In that moment she just knew she would give anything for him. Anything at all.


	191. Malevolent Memories

Thanks to addster for the dare. Not quite sure what I did. More Kyuubi.

* * *

Malevolent Memories

She sensed its presence before she saw him.

The malevolent weight of its aura weighed down upon her like a sticky syrup, the same feeling she had learned to associate with her grandmother all those years ago when she didn't know its cause. She could almost see the shadow of Mito out of the corner of her eye, customary robes and all.

So when the blond boy and white haired man came into the room, she felt her eyes zone in not on the boy's familiar face, but rather on his stomach, where she knew the seal rested despite the cloth covering it.

Tsunade felt her mouth go dry as she stared unabashed at the boy, unblinking. It was here. All she could feel and remember was the pain and the panic, the deaths of two more people she loved as the Kyuubi roared its rage and escaped its bounds, the secrets that kept her family always on the lookout.

"Hey, lady, it's rude to stare," the blond snapped, blue eyes glaring up at her. "Dontcha got something better to do?"

"Naruto." The man put a calming hand on the boy's shoulder, and Tsunade's eyes snapped between the two. An old teammate and someone she had last seen as a baby, right before she left Konoha again, disgusted with how it had failed to change.

The fox's presence made her temper sharper than normal as she fought to keep the tide of memories back. "What do you want?"

"We just came to chat," Jiraiya responded easily, sliding onto the bench across from her. "How have you been?"

She honestly couldn't believe he was asking her that question. He _knew_ the kind of bombshell he was dropping on her by bringing along Naruto.

Her distantly related cousin. The son of Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina, two people she had loved who had died on the day Naruto was born. The third generation carrier of that hated kitsune; one she wished had never come to Konoha in the first place. So much grief could have been avoided otherwise.

Again her eyes were drawn downwards towards the seal holding the Kyuubi back, feeling it pulse in reaction to her presence. She had been around for much of the time it had been imprisoned, and the kitsune recognized her _chakra_.

Naruto didn't seem to notice her inattention or the reaction of his passenger, for he scowled at her once more. "This is the lady we were sent to get? She just looks like an old loser to me."

_That_ broke through her stupor. "Who are you calling old?"

"He didn't mean it," Jiraiya reassured her hastily. "Naruto, this is Tsunade, my teammate."

She could already see where this was leading. "Whatever you came to say, it won't work. You of all people should know that." She pinned the toad sage with a glare. "He," and a hand waved at the blond boy, "only emphasizes my point. I won't return to Konoha."

"Tsunade, Konoha needs you as _Hokage_."

"The position of _Hokage_ is for dreamers who only want to be killed." The growl in her voice covered the pain behind it.

"We came to ask you to be _Hokage_, but why we would want a dried up old stubborn lady like you beats me anyway!" Naruto yelled at her, hands braced on the table. "Go rot for all I care! I'm going to be _Hokage_ someday, and save Konoha!"

Abruptly Tsunade stood, stalking away from the table for a few steps before turning back, a sneer on her face. "Think about it, _gaki_. Three _Hokage_ died in the line of duty. If you're here to find me, the count is up to four. Why would you want to throw your life away to protect something that won't appreciate you. Konoha only takes, takes, takes. It gives nothing back." With that she spun on her heel and left, hearing the boy sputter in rage behind her.

She really didn't care if she had stepped on his sensibilities at all. Eventually he would get a taste of the real world, and if she was the one to administer it, all the better.

The sensation of the Kyuubi followed her out, refusing to let go as it brought back memories of her grandmother stroking her head as Tsunade first learned about the Kyuubi. Kushina as a little girl, afraid of what her burden would be. The vibrant young lady, grinning and laughing; running around Konoha. They both treated the Kyuubi like it was a minor inconvenience, but Tsunade had seen what it did. It took lives.

She wouldn't go back, not when the memories plagued her.


	192. Born in Blood

Thanks to addster for dare again. Hope it's good...not really quite sure bout this one ^^;

* * *

Born in Blood

"_Shishou?"_

Tsunade didn't look up from her task, finishing the seals on the scroll in front of her with exacting movements. Only when they were done to her satisfaction did she acknowledge her student. "Yes Sakura?"

"It's lunchtime." The pinkette presented a tray loaded with dishes that steamed appetizingly. "Shizune-_san_ brought it."

The two sat down to eat at the table Tsunade had been working on in the companionable silence of people who were comfortable with each other. Sakura looked down at her food in contemplation, then up at her teacher. "_Shishou_? Why do the Senju and the Uchiha hate each other?"

Tsunade paused with her chopsticks halfway to her mouth, noodles dangling from the wood. "Why do you ask?" she asked cautiously, watching Sakura.

"Well I was just wondering." Sakura scuffed her foot at the ground embarrassed. "You know, it's history but nobody actually says why…so I was hoping that you would know…"

The _Hokage_ set down her chopsticks and fixed her eyes firmly on the girl. "What you're digging up is quite obscure, Sakura. It's ancient history long forgotten. But I'll tell you anyway.

"The Senju and the Uchiha come from the same man; the Sage of Six Paths. The younger and older brothers had different approaches to life – the elder favored power, and the younger favored peace. When the Sage was dying, he chose the younger brother to be his successor over the elder, creating the bitter rivalry that exists today. The Uchiha are descended from the older brother, and the Senju from the younger."

Sakura had listened to the story with rapt attention, eyes wide as she took in the information. "So that's why they've been feuding all these years? Because of a simple family rivalry?"

Her mentor let out a laugh. "That's a good way to sum it up, yes, but don't ever mention that around any members of the family, me excluded of course." She paused and sobered. "Well, I'm practically the only one left apart from that Uchiha brat anyway."

"But –" Sakura began, then cut herself off. "What if…"

"What if what?"

"Well…Naruto and Sasuke were always arguing…and Sasuke is an Uchiha…so maybe Naruto is a..." Again she cut herself off with a little laugh. "No, I'm just being silly. I promised Ino for some training, _shishou_. See you tomorrow!"

She left with a little wave, unaware Tsunade had frozen the moment the girl had voiced her thought and hadn't moved since. It was impossible, wasn't it? There was no way that bouncy blond haired _gaki_ was related to the Senju in any way apart from his distant Uzumaki heritage…right?

Right?

"Damn smart girls and their ideas," the woman cursed under her breath, standing up from the table abruptly. Her mind wouldn't let her rest now until she found out the truth.

In less than ten minutes she was in the hospital rifling through the medical records of the village. Every _shinobi_ underwent a full physical the day they became _genin_, including having their blood drawn and put on file.

"U…U…" she muttered, fingers dancing over folders. "Uzumaki." In a swift motion the folder was spread on a table and she was back at the drawers once more. "S…S…Senju." Her own folder, old as it was, was still intact. She laid it open next to Naruto's, and compared the two blood samples. The Senju had always had a distinctive quality to their blood, one easily noted by a reaction with a special chemical. But there had been no reason to test anybody for the Senju gene for a long time.

"I'll just have to get a sample of his blood," she decided, closing the different files with a snap. "But there's no way he can be a Senju. That kind of rivalry isn't born in the blood or something…"


	193. One Surprise Too Many

Continuation from the last, enjoy. Now, off to watch In Plain Sight!

* * *

One Surprise Too Many

Naruto turned to look behind him for the third time in five minutes, unable to shake the feeling somebody was watching him despite all evidence to the otherwise. "Hey, if someone's there, just come out!"

There was no answer, just as there hadn't been the first time he had shouted. No bushes moved, he couldn't even sense a _chakra_ signature. So to all observations, _there was nobody there_, but he couldn't shake that gut feeling. Then again, ANBU and some of the _jounin_ were known for their stealth techniques, but why would they be following him?

Keeping one eye on the bushes behind him, the blond boy walked along the path, only to spin around with a _kunai_ posed at a rustle. A bunny hopped out. "Oh…" he scratched at the back of his head sheepishly. "Sorry about that. I guess you aren't a creepy stalker after all."

The bunny wrinkled its nose at the boy and went on its way. Naruto turned to do the same when a _kunai_ whizzed by, cutting his cheek along the same line at Anko had a few months ago at the _Chuunin_ Exams. A blur of motion passed by him and the startled blond felt something brush along his cheek, then it was gone as well.

"Hey, what gives?" he yelled, one hand immediately going to his cheek. "I don't need creepy stalker ladies like you coming to lick my blood! That's just gross!"

* * *

Ten feet away Tsunade studied the vial she had clasped in her hand. It was mostly full with blood, scooped from the cut she had made along Naruto's cheek. Her conscience twinged her slightly for hurting the boy without provocation – such as a remarkably stupid comment – but it was for a good cause. Or so she told herself.

And if Naruto thought that had been Anko rather than herself, all the better. The _kunoichi_ could handle herself if Naruto came searching…actually, she could probably tie the boy up on top of the _Hokage_ Monument naked with one hand behind her back and her eyes closed, but that was beside the point.

Now all she had to do was get the blood back to the hospital to test it. Nobody would be the wiser as to what she was doing, and if they asked she could always blow them off. Such were the perks of being the _Hokage_.

It was just a few minutes before she reserved one of the labs at the hospital and took it, having pulled the compound to test for the Senju gene from her house previously. It was one of the few items to survive the purge of her family heritage she had performed so long ago.

"C'mon, c'mon," Tsunade whispered as she prepared a slide of Naruto's blood, placing a drop of it on a glass rectangle and holding the pipette of compound over it. If the blood all disappeared, he was a Senju, if it stayed the same, he wasn't. Simple.

Then why was her hand shaking? Oh yeah, because she was the _last of the Senjus_. Damn Sakura for putting the idea in her head!

The blonde took a steadying breath and, tightening her fingers around the pipette bulb, let a drop of compound fall onto the blood. Out of every possible reaction, she _didn't _expect the blood to explode.

They only hint she had something went wrong was a small spark and sizzle when the two substances mixed. So she dived under the nearest table mere seconds before the volatile mixture sprayed itself across the room, bringing glass shrapnel with it.

"_What the hell?_" There was _no_ reason whatsoever for the mixture to explode! The Senju compound on its own was a harmless liquid, practically like water, and blood…blood just shouldn't explode. Except…"Damn Kyuubi." That stupid fox obviously effected Naruto's blood, and it was going to make figuring out if the boy had Senju blood much harder. But it wasn't anything she as the _Hokage _couldn't overcome! After all, she wasn't the best medical _kunoichi_ in the world for nothing.

It took her three hours, but finally she found a way to extract the Kyuubi's _chakra_ from Naruto's blood, leaving the blood he had been born with.

Again her hand trembled over the prepared slide, a drop of compound collecting at the tip of the pipette before gently falling towards the blood. She was prepared to lunge away at the first sign of an explosion but none came. Instead the blood began to disappear, but then stopped as though indecisive. "Trust the _gaki_ to make sure nothing is simple," Tsunade groused under her breath, watching intently.

But nothing happened for the next five minutes, and eventually she let out a relieved breath. Not that she wouldn't have _loved_ for there to be one more survivor of the Senju Clan, but a woman her age could only take so many surprises. And the implications behind Naruto being part of the Senju Clan would have been one surprise to many.

Sakura's earlier comment came back to her. "_Well…Naruto and Sasuke were always arguing…and Sasuke is an Uchiha…so maybe Naruto is a..._"

"He probably just got a double dose of those stubborn Uzumaki genes Kushina was so proud of. I don't think the Uzumaki are as distant as grandfather thought…"


	194. Naptime

This is sprung from my own desires for a nap. Which sadly I cannot take...

* * *

Naptime

Tsunade sighed, looking at the stacks of paperwork piled in front of her on her desk with distaste. She had been hard at work since the early hours of the morning, and it was now midafternoon. Surely she deserved a break, especially when she was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open long enough to recognize her own signature. It was definitely time for a well-deserved afternoon nap. After all, why else did she have that convenient couch placed in her office?

The _Hokage_ got up from her chair, eyes fixed on the comfortable fluffy dark green pillows longingly, and made a beeline for the couch. But she had barely taken two steps when her door burst open and Sakura ran in. "Tsunade-_sama_! We have a hospital emergency, and we need you immediately!"

"Immediately?"

"Yes! There's a suspected contamination in one of the wings and we need your help to isolate it before it can spread any further!"

Contamination overruled nap, unfortunately, and Tsunade rushed out the door after her student, mentally reviewing all the procedures she knew – some of which she had written – to deal with hospital contamination. The adrenaline rush was sharpening her mind, but she knew before long she would be back in her previously foggy state and looking forward to that nap.

Half an hour later the whole wing had been decontaminated – some idiot had accidentally broken a vial that contained a gas, but luckily it hadn't been harmful, and the air was cleansed. With weary steps Tsunade trudged back towards her office, imagining how nice it would feel to stretch out on her couch, a pillow under her head, eyes closed…

"_Baa-chan_!"

She started, looked around, and spotted the blond teenager running down the street after her. Both his hands were waving in the air, and he was covered in dirt and paint.

"Naruto, what have you been doing?" she asked, not completely sure she wanted to know.

"_Baa-chan_, help me!" Naruto ducked behind her, peering back the way he had come over his shoulder. "They won't stop following me! Make them go away! They're stalking me!"

"…What?" Maybe she had heard him wrong, because she was pretty sure she had just heard her boy say he was being stalked. But nobody in the village would stalk him…

"Naruto-_nii-san_! Come back! You're it, you aren't supposed to run!"

Oh. Three _genin_ came into sight, jogging down the street with heads turning. The leader stopped in front of Tsunade, grinning up at her as he tugged at the blue scarf wound around his neck.

"Hi, Tsunade-_sama_! Have you seen Naruto? He was playing ninja with us, but then he disappeared! And he's supposed to chase us so…"

An unexpectedly soft _something_ wound around her ankles, and Tsunade looked down to see a vibrant orange cat rubbing itself against her legs. She reached down, red manicured nails shining in the light, and picked the animal up, slinging it across her shoulder. "No I haven't, sorry Konohamaru."

"It's okay. Thanks anyway! And I like the cat! Did you get a pet?"

"Ah…no, he's just a pesky stray who won't leave me alone." The cat lightly sunk it's claws into her shoulder and she pinched it in return. "Have you tried Ichiraku's?"

"Not yet!" And with that the three _genin_ left on a beeline for the ramen stand.

The cat in her arms disappeared in a cloud of smoke to reveal Naruto clinging to her shoulder. She couldn't shove him away fast enough. "You owe me _gaki_."

"No way! You ruined it, now I can't go to Ichiraku's, they'll be looking there! _Itai!_" He clutched at his head where a golf-ball-sized bump was springing up, courtesy of Tsunade's fist.

"Ever do that again and I'll throw you to them," she told him ruthlessly. "Scat. I have better things to do than hide you from unobservant _genin_." With that comment she was on her way once more, practically sleepwalking as she made her way through the doors of the _Hokage_ Tower. Just one flight of stairs separated her and that wonderful couch…

"Tsunade-_sama_!"

No. Just no. Was the universe intent on making sure she _didn't have her nap_? Just three steps from her office Tsunade stopped on the stairs, took two deep breaths, and turned around to face Shizune. "What is it?"

The raven flinched back slightly from the haggard look on her mentor's face, but persevered. "We just got an urgent message from Jiraiya-_sama_! The cryptologists have cracked the reports, and you have to review them immediately!"

"Can't it wait?" She hated sounding pathetic, but she just wanted a _nap_. Was that really too much to ask?

"Tsunade-_sama_!" Shizune scolded her, scandalized. "You know better than anyone how important these are!" She pushed a stack of papers into the woman's arms. "And _no sake_!"

"_Hai, hai_…" With weary legs, Tsunade trudged up the last three steps and into her office. It took all her willpower to move past the couch instead of lying down on it, and instead made it to her chair, placing the messages in front of her.

But before she began, she turned her face to the sky above. "What did I do to offend you? _All I wanted was a nap…"_


	195. Scaredy Cat

Thanks to addster for the idea!

* * *

Scare-dy Cat

"That's such a good sandcastle, Naruto!" Tsunade complimented her son, looking over the pile of sand with five sticks poking out of it, a piece of cloth tied around one for a flag. "Let me go get my camera so I can take a picture!"

"Okay, mommy!"

She was only gone for three minutes at the most by her estimation, but in the time she was absent _a stray cat appeared by her son_. The blonde woman looked at it in horror. She could almost _see _the tics and fleas crawling all over the creature, the way it's ribs protruded at its sides, the mats in its fur…a hint of foam at its mouth…

"Naruto, honey?" Her voice was at least three notes higher than normal, pitched with fear. "Can you come over here for a second?"

"But mommy, my castle!"

"I know honey, just…please come?" She was becoming more and more desperate, sure that at any moment her son would glimpse the cat, and with his normal joy for all things alive, immediately go hug it.

Sure enough, the three year old was only five steps away from his mother when he spotted their visitor. "Kitty!"

She covered the distance between them so fast she honestly wasn't sure how she had moved, picking her son up around the waist and holding him away from the menace. "No, Naruto!"

"But kitty!"

She wracked her brain for anything to distract the boy. "How about we go watch some cartoons?" Naruto looked torn; cartoons were the best thing to _ever_ exist – after ramen of course – but there was a _kitty_. And it looked _fluffy_. "I'll even make ramen," Tsunade added in a last ditch attempt. That solved it.

"Cartoons!"

With a sigh of relief Tsunade headed towards the glass door into their family room, Naruto still in her arms waving goodbye to the kitty. That was following them. She increased her pace, almost reaching a run before she got to the house, opened the door, then shut it just as quickly once inside. Even then it was a close call, the cat stopping barely two feet away and peering into the room.

She flicked on the television, setting her son down on the couch across from it to settle in, and disappeared to start heating the water for ramen. When she came back the cat was even closer, pawing at the door lightly. Luckily Naruto didn't notice, as enthralled with his cartoons as he was.

_Go away_…she thought at the menace, staring at it. It stared right back, slit-pupil eyes seeming to see right into her soul.

The first mewl was almost too soft to hear, but they slowly began to grow louder as Tsunade served up the ramen. Now the cat's eyes alternated between her and the food. Then it opened its mouth and mewled again, this time loud enough she couldn't mistake it for anything. And it didn't stop. Tsunade turned up the television, intent her son didn't notice the animal again and insist on running outside and _touching_ it.

When Jiraiya came home, he was surprised to find the television on with nobody watching it in the family room, and Tsunade holding their son at the kitchen table, looking through the open doorway at the sliding glass door to their backyard.

"What's up?" he asked, more than a little confused by her strange behavior.

"Fluffy!" Naruto said clearly, wriggling to get free of his mother's arms, but she had a death grip on him.

"…What?"

"The cat. Get. Rid. Of. It." Tsunade bit off each word cleanly, eyes never leaving something just past his left hip. Following her gaze, Jiraiya turned and saw a striped marmalade cat sitting and pawing at the door cutely. It looked pretty clean for a stray – to him – and didn't seem to be wanting for food.

"Ah…" he raised a skeptical eyebrow at his wife. "Is there any reason you're afraid of the cat?"

"Just make it go away! You have no idea what could be on it! Tics, fleas, lice, grime, or…" she lowered her voice dramatically, "…it could have rabies! Get it away from here _now_!"

"Okay, okay," he told her, voice calm and appeasing. "I'll just go get it to leave, then will you calm down?" The wild eyed look she gave him wasn't promising.

Grabbing a broom from the closet he trudged outside and around the house, spotting the cat at the same position by the door. "Go away kitty. Shoo!" he poked at it with the broom handle. The cat hissed and swiped at the wooden pole but left quickly. "Well that was easy." He looked in the door to give an 'all okay' sign to his wife, but both she and Naruto were missing. "_Now_ where'd she go?"

Once inside he followed his ears to the source of running water, and found his son in the bathtub with Tsunade standing over him holding a soapy sponge. "…Why are you giving him a bath in the middle of the day?"

"Did you see that thing?" She whirled around to stare at him, and some soap flew off from the motion to hit the wall and mirror. "Its mouth was _foaming_, I swear! And I think I saw some tics jump ship! Naruto was going to touch it, I'm just taking precautions! _And it wouldn't stop staring at me._"

"Ooookay…" the white haired man backed slowly out of the bathroom. "I'll just…let you take care of that." Only when he was sure he was out of earshot did he add "And it looked like a very friendly cat. Naruto could use a pet…"


	196. Babysitting, Take Two

Thanks to addster for the idea. She basically told me to reverse the situation of my last chapter of Nothing Short of a Miracle (which you should go read if you haven't!) and instead of Naruto and Sakura babysitting Tsunade's baby...have her babysit their baby! Should be interesting...

* * *

Babysitting, Take Two

There was a hesitant knock on her door. Tsunade raised her head, calling out "Come in." She welcomed any interruption.

"Tsunade-_sama_?" Well, almost any interruption. When her apprentice sounded that hesitant, it meant only one thing.

"Again?" she sighed.

"I'm really sorry about this…" the pinkette shuffled her feet on the carpet uncharacteristically. "It's just that…"

"Just that the hospital needs you and Kakashi called on Naruto," Tsunade recited for her. "Bring her in."

Sakura leaned back out the door she had come through. "Naruto, it's safe!" The blond entered, arms occupied with a bundle of blankets.

"Um…thanks for this, _baa-chan_. I mean, normally we'd be fine, but Kakashi-_sensei_…"

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "That man will be the death of me. The next time he pulls a stunt like this, I'll make sure he's on babysitting duty for a month!" The way Sakura and Naruto's faces lit up at that made her actually consider the threat. "Anyway, give her to me."

Naruto approached the desk, handing over the bundle gingerly, and backed away, keeping any eye on Tsunade just to make sure she didn't make any sudden moves that threatened his soundness of mind or body. He never forgot what she had done to Jiraiya that one time…

The blonde woman looked down at the sleeping baby nestled in the blankets, then up at the two in front of her. "What are you still doing here? Scat! Before I change my mind…" That got both out of the room faster than she could open her mouth.

She turned her attention to the little girl conveniently covering her paperwork in front of her. "You're the perfect excuse to not do any work, you know that? Even Shizune can't argue with me when you're here!" Akari opened her eyes into little slits and yawned cutely. "Of course, that might have something to do with it…"

Her assistant chose that moment to walk into the room. "Tsunade-_sama_! I have some more –" Her eyes immediately found the baby on the desk. "Oh! They brought Akari by! How come Sakura didn't tell me?"

"Ah…" Before the _Hokage_ could make a move, Shizune was at the desk picking up the waking up baby girl. "But I…"

"Who's the best little girl in the world?" Shizune cooed to Akari, wrapping her arms tightly around the blankets. "You are! Tsunade-_sama_, I'm going to take her downstairs!"

"No you aren't!" In a flash Tsunade was out of her chair, taking Akari back. She was _not_ going to lose her excuse to keep from having to do any work. "They left her with _me_, that means _I _get to take care of her!"

"But she'll get to see the _Hokage_ Tower this way, instead of just the inside of your office," Shizune argued, pulling the girl towards her. Akari looked between the two with a smile on her face, enjoying the attention even if she was unaware of the battle being raged over her. "The change of scene will be good for her!"

"Sakura just paraded her through the whole building," Tsunade retorted, snatching the girl and turning around, cradling Akari close to her body. Where Shizune couldn't get to her easily. "I'm sure she's seen enough for the day. She just wants to spend some quality time with Tsunade-_obaa-san_, right Akari?" She tickled the baby's stomach and Akari giggled obediently. "See?"

"Oh, so now you'll be called grandma?" Shizune shot back. She circled Tsunade, fingers itching for a chance to seize the baby. "And you manipulated her; play fair!"

"Never, not with paperwork on the line!" The _Hokage_ shot a terrified glance at the paper-laden desk. _Oops_. She hadn't meant to let that slip.

"That's the reason you want to keep her?" Shizune was scandalized. "I better take her off your hands before you decide it's a good idea to teach her how to drink _sake_!"

"Low blow."

"Ah…you're right, that was uncalled for," Shizune apologized, chagrined. "But honestly Tsunade-_sama_, using an innocent baby as a reason to shirk? I didn't think you'd stoop so low."

Tsunade cocked an eyebrow at the younger woman. "And you've known me how long?"

The raven opened her mouth, paused, and closed it. "Touché."

Just then the door opened, and Sakura reappeared. "Good news, Tsunade-_sama_! They don't need me at the hospital after all…" she took in the tableau of the two women facing each other, Akari in between. "Oh, Shizune-_san_! I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Sakura-_san_," Shizune greeted warmly. "I was just stopping by to say hi to Akari-_chan_." Reading the warning in Tsunade's eyes – that threatened unceasing resistance and indescribable evil – she continued, "And I was just leaving. Bye, Akari-_chan_." She rubbed the baby's cheek lightly, then hightailed it out of the office.

"Do I have to give her back?" Tsunade whined, wrapping her arms tighter around the girl.

Sakura cocked an eyebrow at her mentor, a trait she had picked up from the woman. "You think I don't know you use her as an excuse to get out of work? Besides, it's time for her feeding anyway."

"Busted," Tsunade groused good-naturedly, extending Akari towards her mother. "By the way, is Kakashi out there?"

Sakura looked startled. "How did you know?"

"I just listened for the sound of lateness," the blonde quipped. "Send him in, and tell Naruto not to worry. I have it handled."

"Yes _shishou_," Sakura responded, slightly mystified. "See you tomorrow! Say goodbye, Akari-_chan_." Grasping her daughter's arm, the pinkette moved it in a wave, then both left the office.

Kakashi entered right after, slouching as normal. "You called, Tsunade-_sama_?"

"Ah, yes, Kakashi…" Tsunade took a seat at her desk, steepling her fingers to hide her evil grin. "I have a new mission for you."

The man straightened imperceptibly, looking at the _Hokage_ with renewed interest. "A mission?"

"Yes…" It took all she had to keep from cackling. "For the next month…" a dramatic pause, "…you will be Akari's new babysitter! On call at every hour. I'll make sure Naruto and Sakura are made aware of your position. After all…" and now she moved her hands so the scarecrow could see the look she was giving him, "it's the least you can do for your poor students right?"

"Tsunade-_sama_!" Kakashi looked distinctly panicked, even with eighty percent of his face covered. "You have no idea what those two will do to me! Three am feedings, changing every diaper…! They're going to pay me back for everything I put them through as _genin_!"

"Then you had better prepare yourself, hadn't you?"

His wail of despair was audible down at the front gates.


	197. Playing With Poison

Half of Mei's prize. Sorry if it's not as humorous...but I hope you like it!

* * *

Playing With Poison

Tsunade cursed under her breath, eyes scanning the trees in front of her. She was on the edge of the forest, looking for any of the enemy. A puppet master had been spotted in the area, considered to be the most adept in poisons, and she had been sent to gather new samples so she would be able to create the antidotes later. Normally she wouldn't have been sent on such a mission, but that she was the only one able to create temporary antidotes to almost any poison.

A slight rustle behind her she spun around, weapons poised. Instead of a puppet as she expected, a middle aged woman stepped out onto a branch, hands spread to show she was unarmed. Tsunade didn't trust her however, knowing the enemy to be skilled with _chakra_ strings, and didn't lower her weapons.

"You don't trust me?" her voice was low, gravelly, and mocking. "I'm hurt."

"You'll forgive me if I don't let down my guard," the blonde shot back, _kunai_ still poised and ready. "You are after all from Suna."

"I just wanted to see the woman who has been solving all of my poisons. My name is Chiyo. And you are Konoha's princess, Tsunade." The woman took a few more steps out onto the branch, then turned around, showing Tsunade there was nothing immediately harmful on her person. She had purple-grey hair piled on her hair in a bun, a Suna _hitai-ate_ across her forehead, and the normal Suna robe.

"I seem to be at a disadvantage," Tsunade quipped, lowering her arms – slightly. One of her hands went to a pouch at her back where vials of antidotes rested; just in case.

"You have no idea how much trouble you're causing for me," Chiyo scowled. "I have to come up with a new poison every week just to keep ahead of you. I know you were sent to get my new compounds and I'm telling you now, the only way you'll get a sample is in your own _shinobi_. I won't take you down yet – it's not worth the risk. But hear me – I won't let you win this battle. It's personal now."

Tsunade grinned, allowing herself to show true emotion. "Is it now? Then you'll appreciate my first present." In one swift motion she had whipped her arm forward, releasing a small capsule. As Chiyo dodged the smoke cloud that erupted, Tsunade disappeared. When the cloud cleared, there was one small vial left where the Konoha _kunoichi_ had stood.

"Enjoy" the label read, as well as a few small notations only a medical _shinobi_ could decipher.

The Suna _kunoichi_ brought out a scroll, emptying the vial with care upon the center of a seal array. The liquid faded in and disappeared, then a series of _kanji_ appeared in its place. It was something she hadn't seen before.

"You're good, _hime_," Chiyo groused good-naturedly. "But are you good enough?"

* * *

Tsunade spent the next year extracting poisons from her comrades' bodies and trying to discover the antidotes to them. It was a continuing battle between her and Chiyo, to see who could get ahead of the game. So far she had been able to find the key to each and every of the woman's poisons, something she knew had to be irritating Chiyo to no end. She had even been able to send infrequent messages to her rival in the form of antidotes administered to Suna _shinobi_ – some that affected the men, and others that remained unnoticed until a medical examination.

"Tsunade-_sama_! Another man has come in, he requires your attention immediately!" One of the lower healers barged into her tent, panting and frantic. "A new poison has been discovered, we need you!"

She was running after him before she had registered movement, flipping through her mental index of poisons and the afflictions they caused. Heavy metal made the major organs begin to shut down immediately, plant based took a long time to show…

The man was writhing on his cot, restraints strapping down his arms and legs. Odd purple bruises marked his torso and extremities, something she hadn't seen before.

"How long has he been like this?" she snapped out, eyes never leaving the patient. His eyes were rolled back in his head.

"Maybe an hour. He showed no signs beforehand of being poisoned," an orderly answered promptly. "We had to make sure it was a reaction to poison before calling you."

"I assume you already have a sample of his blood ready?"

"_Hai_." A test tube was pressed into her hand.

She spun on her heel, blonde pigtails flying out behind her, and moved into another tent. This one had racks on the walls and a miniature garden, as well as glass jars full of rare ingredients she might need to combat each new poison.

She started with the basic spectrum of plants that dealt with seizures and bruises, testing different combinations of each against the poison in the man's blood. She was able to extract it by dropping it onto a scroll pre-prepared with a seal that copied the effect of the poison and stored it, allowing her to test as many different possibilities as she needed.

She was there long into the night, pushing herself to her limits – so far she had determined the poison collected the iron in the blood into deposits; different clumps that would harm the body by busting the veins and internal organs. The _shinobi_ didn't have much time left.

In the wee hours of the morning she finally found it by combining willow, bloodwort, and a few other plants found in Snow Country. Placing a drop of it on the seal array, the ink disappeared, signifying success. She would have time to refine it later, but for now it would keep the man alive.

It was five days after that she had time to return to her antidote, and Chiyo's newest poison. She had a new message she wanted to send to the old lady – a sort of "Ha ha". By tweaking the antidote just slightly she could create a variation on the old woman's poison, one that would affect a _shinobi_ for ten days then disappear without a trace. That should give Chiyo just enough time to discover her hidden note.

* * *

Chiyo frowned as she studied the blood sample she had retrieved from the newest wounded back from the war. That poison looked very familiar…She riffled back through her notes from a month ago, looking at the various compounds she had created and tested for efficiency. There, two weeks and three days ago. It simulated the effects of a heavy metal toxin, but instead it affected only the iron…

"_Kuso_," she cursed, rushing to her codes table. She had a whole scroll dedicated to Tsunade's poisons, and this would be the newest in a string of messages the talented woman had sent her. The past three had been phrases, parts of a sentence that didn't make any sense yet. But if she was right…

A series of _kanji_ flashed in the center of her seal testing array, and Chiyo copied them down.

"If you play…with wooden saplings…make sure to bring…an extra life."

Chiyo snarled, swiping her scroll and pen off the counter in a fit of rage. She would _not _be shown up by Konoha's little _princess_, the descendant of the wood user clan. It was Tsunade who would lose the battle, not the poison maker of Suna!


	198. Shopping With Ino

Twelve hours after the last one...there is this one! I hope it's good.

* * *

Shopping With Ino

Shikamaru sighed, not moving his eyes from the clouds above his head. Four hours of cloud watching was a blissful experience he hadn't been able to engage in for a while. Missions and friends had kept him busy; it was good to return to the basics.

He heard feet trudging up the hill, and a large body flopped beside his. "I expected you up here," Chouji said conversationally, popping open a bag of chips. "You're lucky Ino hasn't found this one yet; she was talking about dragging you on a shopping trip."

The raven groaned, flinging an arm over his eyes. "_Mendokuse_. Why can't she just leave me be?"

"Ah…"

"…You brought her here didn't you?" Shikamaru's tone wasn't accusatory, just resigned.

"I had no choice," Chouji told him sympathetically. "I'll make it up to you later."

"What do you mean he's lucky?" Ino stomped up the hill, stopping in front of her two boys and planting her hands on her hips. "He should be honored I want him to come shopping!"

Shikamaru winced and closed his eyes, anticipating what came next. He was yanked up by the back of his jacket, and bodily dragged down his hill by the blonde. "I need somebody to carry my bags, and you're it!"

"_Mendokuse_…"

The first three shops weren't so bad – Shikamaru could just lounge outside the store 'guarding' Ino's bags as he attempted to catch a few winks. But the fourth…

"I am _not_ going in there," he said flatly.

"Oh come _on_, Shikamaru, stop being a wuss!" Ino scoffed, tugging on his sleeve insistently. "It's just a store!"

"That's not just a store, that's a _women's lingerie store_. As a man, it would be improper for me to set foot in there." _And I refuse to be seen in such a place. I'd never live it down. If Mom found out…the toss up would be whether she yelled at me for going in there, or if she'll yell at me for letting Ino go in alone._

As if his teammate could read his thoughts, Ino added "I'll tell Yoshino-_san_ you abandoned poor old me to go shopping all by myself and carry these heavy bags back."

He gave another resigned sigh. She won. "Fine. But I'm not going past the front entrance."

In retrospect he should have known that wasn't going to happen – within thirty seconds of stepping into the store, Ino had dragged him to the back to ask his opinion on what she should get.

_I'm not here, I'm not here…_he pictured himself lying on a hill, storm clouds beginning to gather above. They were definitely the more interesting of the clouds, grey and growing even as he watched them, towering miles into the sky.

"Shikamaru!" Ino's shrill voice cut through his daydream. She waved two articles of clothing in front of his face, a little too close for comfort. "Which one?"

"Ah…the one on the left." He tried to keep from looking at them, not wanting to be scarred for life.

"Shikamaru, you haven't even considered it," she whined. "I would have thought it was every guy's dream to be in a lingerie store with a girl!"

HE cocked a wry eyebrow. "You don't know me very well then do you? I just want to go back to cloud watching…"

"And being lazy," Ino finished for him. "Fine. If you help me choose…say, five…pieces, I'll release you for the rest of the day."

Shikamaru thought that over – it was a brain-free decision. "Deal."

He had never gone through a store so fast, whipping things off racks and tossing them to the blonde. "Go, go, go," Shikamaru pushed her into a changing room, jittering impatiently until she came out.

Ino paused dramatically, taking in her teammate's uncharacteristic eagerness. "And…you can go. I won't tell Yoshino."

The raven was out of there faster than he could say "_Mendokuse_."

Ten minutes later he was lying back on his same hill next to Chouji, half asleep. "She actually let you go before dark?" the Akimichi asked, surprised. "I didn't expect to see you for the rest of the day."

"Yeah…" Shikamaru yawned. "You just have to know how to appeal to her better nature…"

Chouji snorted good-naturedly. "She took you to the lingerie store, didn't she?"

The raven gave a convulsive shudder. "I will never speak of it."


	199. Legacy of Kings

A huge thank you to narutofan (anonymous) for going through and reading all of my chapters! It means a lot to me that you went through each and every one in one sitting. =) I shall definitely take your idea, it will be chapter 201.

Thanks to Kaiser969 for the idea for today. I hope it measures up to your dream =)

* * *

Legacy of Kings

Shikamaru sighed and took another drag of his cigarette, examining the board in front of him lazily. His king was well guarded in a corner, surrounded by silver generals, pawns, and a lance, and his bishop was two moves away from being able to take his opponent's rook. He moved a pawn forward as a distraction.

"Shikamaru?" The boy across from him had spiky black hair and young features; he was nine years old. The Nara genius had known him all of his life – since birth.

"Yes, Hiroshi?" Shikamaru leaned back against the pole he was sitting near, regarding the boy with half-lidded eyes that revealed none of his feelings.

Hiroshi didn't look up from the board, hands twisting in his lap. "How…how did _Otou-san_ die?"

Shikamaru let out a long breath, almost soundless, around his cigarette. He knew the question would be coming eventually; it was no secret whose student he was.

"I mean, I know _how_," Hiroshi rushed on, words coming faster. "Everybody knows how, they teach it at the Academy…but you were there. _Why_ did he die?" He met Shikamaru's eyes, his own dark with seriousness. He couldn't hold the gaze however and instead looked down at the board, fiddling with one of his pawns before moving it hastily forward.

Shikamaru closed his eyes and cupped his hands in a circle in front of him, an old habit from his youth that allowed him to gather his thoughts. Only when he was sure he knew what to say did he look at the boy in front of him. "We were sent to track down two members of Akatsuki; Hidan and Kakuzu. They had been spotted in the country and it was decided we should take them out. There were four of us, Asuma, Kotetsu, and Izumo."

Hiroshi remained silent, even when Shikamaru paused between sentences to take a drag from the cigarette or flick the wheel on a metal lighter he carried everywhere with him. It was long out of oil and no longer produced a flame, but the man flipped open the cap and spun the wheel in one movement with the ease of long practice, closed it, and repeated the gesture; he often did it while thinking or remembering.

"Asuma beheaded Hidan, but we didn't know he couldn't die then. Even with his head lying on the ground, he was yelling at us. Until you've seen it, you can't imagine our surprise. His partner sewed him back together, and then…" His voice trailed off, refusing to voice those horrible words. His thumb flicked faster over the wheel, _snick, snick_. No flame.

"But…" Hiroshi's voice was raspy, and he tried again. "But why…" he fell silent, ashamed of his question.

"Why weren't we attacked instead? Why didn't we die?" Shikamaru guessed, all too astutely from the ashamed flush adorning the boy's cheeks. "Hidan got a sample of Asuma's blood…you know how his attack works. But also, as the leader, Asuma refused to let us engage the enemy; he insisted on finding out their weaknesses first so as to give us a basis on which to attack. He was a strong man…" _Flick, snick, thunk. Flick, snick, thunk._ "Do you know why your name is Hiroshi?"

The boy started, caught off guard by the topic change. "I…_Okaa-san_ just…No."

'You're name means generous; it is your legacy from your father." Shikamaru scanned the shogi board in front of him and picked up the King piece. "What is this piece?"

"The King," Hiroshi answered promptly. "If it gets taken, the game is over."

"Do you know who the King of Konoha is?" Shikamaru's eyes were sharp on the boy, remembering his own first answer to the question.

Hiroshi answered his mouth to answer then shut it again, sensing a trick. But he couldn't think of another answer. "The _Hokage."_

"Why?"

"Because if she's taken, the village doesn't have a leader."

"Not true. The _Hokage_ has advisors, the _Jounin_ Council, a successor…many people who can step up and take her place."

"But…" Now Hiroshi faltered.

"Your father made me figure the answer out for myself, and I won't tell you," Shikamaru informed him, grinning slightly as the boy gave a dismayed pout. "But he was the first one to realize who the King of Konoha was, and he gave his life to protect it and the village. For that generous gift, your mother decided to name you Hiroshi, in memory, and so you would carry on your father's spirit." _Flick, snick. Flick, snick._

"Ino and Chouji showed up just in time to say goodbye," the Nara changed the topic abruptly. "And Asuma insisted on giving me this." He held up the lighter. It was beaten and nicked from the long years of being carried around. "When I took it, I accepted his 'Will of Fire'. Someday, I'll give this to you, when you're ready to carry the burden. Will you be ready to accept that responsibility, the legacy of your father?"


	200. World Domination

I apologize to any males I offend...it's too fun playing with stereotypes!

So as I promised addster a long time ago, this drabble (200) is for her =) Hope you love it!

* * *

World Domination

Meiko twitched against the restraints binding her wrists, and looked at the _jounin_ standing next to her. "Look, just because you're so gullible doesn't mean you gotta arrest me," she quipped, taking in the way his eye twitched even as he deliberately didn't glance over. "Oh, are you still sore over that? I _told _you that you shouldn't trust everything I say, and what do you go and do?" She sighed dramatically. "It really is your own fault you know."

He couldn't take it anymore. "Shut up!" the _jounin_ barked, shaking her arm roughly. "_Hokage-sama_ will see you any minute; then you'll learn."

Meiko simply rolled her eyes. "Sure, sure, whatever floats your boat."

Right on cue the wooden doors opened and the _Hokage's_ assistant walked out. "She'll see you now."

The _jounin_ yanked on Meiko's arm, tugging her into the office. "_Hokage-sama_ I would like to lodge a protest."

"Hm?" Tsunade looked up from her paperwork with a bored expression, fingers steepled in front of her. "About what?"

"About _her_." The _jounin_ jabbed a finger at Meiko, who smiled, light glinting off her glasses.

"I didn't do anything," she said innocently, batting her eyelids at the man. "I actually told you _not _to."

"You forced me there," he shot back, glaring.

Tsunade got tired of being kept in the dark. "One of you explain or I'll turn you over to Ibiki for laughs," she barked, slamming both hands down on her desk.

"This…girl…" The emphasis put on the word was laden with distain, "pretended to be in distress, having lost her cat. Naturally, being a gentleman," he ignored Meiko's disbelieving snort, "I offered to help her find it. She claimed to have spotted the cat running into an alleyway, and I went in after it."

"I told him not to!" Meiko interjected, leaning back against the wall. "I definitely told him 'It could be dangerous in there, you shouldn't go'. It's not my fault!"

"When I went in," the _jounin's_ voice got louder, speaking over her, "I was immediately assaulted by complete darkness, then many small objects slammed into me. When I stumbled back out of the alley, I looked like _this_." He gestured to his hair and body.

Just looking at him Meiko couldn't hold in another laugh as she began bouncing up and down in place. "Pink looks good on you! And those paint splotches? Even a rainbow would be jealous of your variety!"

Even Tsunade moved her hands to cover a smile. "Protest lodged. I would like to speak alone with her."

The _jounin_ unbound Meiko, but before leaving sent the girl a dirty look; one she returned with a bright grin.

"What did you do to the poor man?" the _Hokage _asked when they were alone. "He looked like he got caught by Naruto on a bad day."

"Oh that was nothing," Meiko boasted proudly. "I just set up a triggered _genjutsu_, added some trigger release neon paint balloons, and a bucket of hair dye with a pressure plate. You should see what I did to the last guy!"

Tsunade paused, then raised an eyebrow. "I think I don't want to know, for plausible deniability. You can't just go around incapacitating my troops; they need to remain fully functional. I'm going to have to restrain you for a few days..."

"Aw, come on!" Meiko whined, pushing away from the wall and bouncing her way towards the desk. "He had it coming! He called me a useless weak female; otherwise I wouldn't have done anything! Honest! Us females have to stand up for ourselves!"

Tsunade regarded the girl in front of her with an interested expression. "Oh?"

"Yeah! It's not as though we can let the world walk all over us," Meiko continued, glad of her audience. "After all, females can kick a guy's ass any day. We should be ruling the world." The gleam of light off her lenses only added an evil, plotting aura to the sentence.

Now the blonde woman was beginning to grin. "Starting with Konoha. After all, we control most of the hospital and the food here, men can't cook to save their lives."

"Exactly! We hold the strings to their happiness!" Meiko was almost vibrating in place now. "First, all we would have to do is drug their food so they fall into a stupor, then bring on the animals! Or we could dump them out in the woods and see if they can find their way back."

"And when we ruled the world no woman would have to cook, or clean, or –"

"–make sure they wake up on time, because men are chronically late!" Meiko finished for her.

Just then Jiraiya walked in, grinning widely. "_Hello ladies!"_

Meiko started, more than a little surprised by his appearance, and spun around fists raised, hitting the man right in the nose.

Jiraiya fell back, holding his abused face, as Tsunade began to roar with laughter. "You're the first one to land a hit on the pervert in a while!"

"Someone's been hiding something from me," Jiraiya whined at Tsunade, pointing towards Meiko.

"What?"

He looked between two females, taking in the similar expressions as they eyed him, the blonde hair both had, and the conversation he had heard before. "I knew there had to be some kind of love child there!"

Tsunade was dumbfounded as Meiko looked between the two, confused. "You wretched pervert! What the hell are you talking about?" the _Hokage_ finally recovered her voice.

"Hey, hey, just thinking aloud," he defended quickly, eyes tracing over her figure. "After all…" and he waved in the vague direction of her body.

"Hah, you're just eyeing her chest," Meiko snorted, seeing what he really meant.

"Jiraiya…" Tsunade's voice was a low rumble that promised pain. "If you value your life, you will leave. _Now_."

"Nice to meet you," the white haired man turned to Meiko and bowed slightly. "And if you really are her kid," he jerked a thumb at the fuming Tsunade, "I hope you get her body!" An ominous crack came from the desk. "Leaving!"


	201. Don't Be Gullible

Here's for narutofan! Thanks to Kaiser969 for some ideas =)

* * *

Don't Be Gullible

"Come on, Minato, it's not like she's that scary!" Jiraiya comforted his student as they walked along one of the main roads of Konoha.

"You didn't see the hole she left in the wall last week!" the blond boy argued, jogging to keep up with the _Sannin_. "Risuke was talking about it for days afterward! _And_ he said it was made by _you!"_

"Well, you shouldn't believe everything you're told," Jiraiya retorted hastily. As long as his student didn't find out the _reason_ that hole had been made. "Especially not gossips like Risuke."

"But you said Risuke was the most trustworthy person in the village," Minato countered, confused. His eyebrows knitted in a frown. "Unless…"

"Hey look there she is!" Jiraiya announced, pointing to the street ahead of them and changing the subject quickly. "Minato!" The boy had automatically dodged behind his _sensei_.

"She's scary…" came the muffled voice of his student, pressed into the fabric of Jiraiya's worn red vest.

"Oh for crying out loud," Tsunade called out as she moved closer. "Jiraiya did you grow a yellow barnacle or something?"

He had to admit she looked intimidating where she stood, high heels planted firmly on the ground and one hand on a cocked hip. Her long blonde hair was done in its normal two pigtails and trailed down her back. She had exchanged her customary mission attire for something more casual that accentuated her curves, and the spark in her eyes promised nothing good if she didn't get an answer soon.

"Ah, Tsunade," he began, reaching behind him with one arm and trying to draw out Minato – an unsuccessful venture – "Just the person I was looking for! You remember when I told you two months ago I have a new student? This is Namikaze Minato." With a tug the blond was forced out of his hiding place, and stood looking down at his shoes, not daring to meet her eyes.

The woman raised a skeptical eyebrow at her teammate. "Not very outgoing is he? Sure he's worth your time?" If anything that made Minato's head hang even lower. She rolled her eyes. "That was a joke kid. Lighten up!"

"I think he's afraid you'll punch him," Jiraiya stage whispered, giving Minato a light clout on the shoulder. "C'mon, you aren't a mute!"

Minato started, then looked up at his _sensei_ as he remembered something from the week before. "Hey, _sensei_, didn't you tell me you're always rescuing her? She can't be so scary if you're so much stronger than her!"

An ominous cracking sound came from the direction of Tsunade, and Jiraiya shot a panicked glance at his student. "I never said any such thing!"

"Yeah you did!" Minato was warming up to his topic. "And you said she was always drooling over you!" He inspected the blonde woman in front of him. "But it doesn't look like she is…did you lie?"

"I…" Jiraiya was backing away now, heedful of Tsunade's cracking knuckles as she prepared for what would undoubtedly be an extremely painful beating. And of course his student was oblivious.

"And there was the story about how she was tied to a log because she kept falling into obvious traps…and her _chakra_ control! Didn't you tell me you had to teach it to her because she was so bad?"

"I'll show you bad _chakra_ control," Tsunade growled, taking two steps towards Jiraiya that left craters in the street. "Bad control? Let's see how many broken bones 'bad' control can get you!"

Minato dodged back, eyes wide, as his _sensei_ tried to run away only to be caught by his vengeful teammate and yanked backwards right into a fist. What proceeded after was the most one-sided beat down he had ever witnessed.

After it, as Jiraiya lay broken in the street behind her whimpering, Tsunade blew lightly on her knuckles and grinned at the cowering blond boy. "Let that be a lesson to not believe everything you hear, boy." Then she sauntered off.

Minato crouched down next to the form of his _sensei_ and cringed at the damage. "She's scary…"


	202. Waiting Forever

This is all Kaiser969's idea, he planned it all! And I love it. In response to something I heard from Ginjaa Ninjaa a long time ago...I'm not making Jiraiya a two dimensional character.

* * *

Waiting Forever

Tsunade looked around her at the office. All she was good for was paperwork it seemed. Naruto had long since stopped visiting, Sakura was always busy at the hospital, and the only thing Shizune did to her now was yell.

Jiraiya was the worst – he only saw him when he was delivering messages from his spy network, then her teammate was off again. No more dinners, late night drinks – she even missed the beat downs she would give him for peeking.

She was unwanted, and unneeded.

The blonde woman decided she had to clear her head – the office was stuffy and reminded her too much of what she no longer had. Shizune wasn't waiting outside the _Hokage_ office to catch her, and Tsunade slipped out of the village with next to no effort.

_Homura and Koharu can do the job well enough_, she thought to herself as she wandered through the woods surrounding the village. _With Shizune to help them it's not as though the village is left unattended. And Sakura can learn anything else from Shizune. Naruto has Jiraiya and Jiraiya has…_that caused her to pause, but she brushed it off. _Jiraiya doesn't need anyone; he's too independent. Always has been, always will be._

She was lost in thought and not expecting an attack, so when a man stepped out of the trees in front of her, Tsunade merely looked at him.

"Well, well," the man grinned, looking her over. "What have we here? A lost Senju, all on her lonesome? And the last one too…" he had an unsheathed dagger in his hand, and he now licked it, his eyes never leaving hers. "The perfect wrap up to a long quest."

"What do you mean?" She was too tired to play games, and her brain was scattered from here to Konoha.

"Why my dear, I hunt Senju. And you're my biggest prize."

Nothing was making sense. "The Senju died out twenty years ago." Granted, the man was old, but there was no way he had gone after her whole clan. Most of them had died natural deaths in the village.

"You think I don't know that?" Now he scowled, bringing the dagger around to point at her. "But you are the biggest prize, the last one. And it is you I'll be taking."

He lunged at her and she dodged to the side, barely missing his slash. She didn't even see the kick that flattened her. Yes she was a _Detsu no Sannin_, but she was completely unprepared for a battle. Again the dagger flashed and she rolled to the side, legs coming out to twist around her opponent's and bring him to the ground. He landed hard, the wind knocked out, and she rolled to her feet, backing up towards a tree.

"So the little girl wants to play, does she?" he hissed, rolling to his feet as well and advancing towards her. He made another swipe towards her and the blonde dodged, but even as she did so she felt a line of pain opening up along her abdomen. _Shit_. _Wind blades._

Her diamond was tapped out, she couldn't activate it, nor heal herself. "You fell easily, princess. I expected more of a fight." From where she lay on the ground, vision growing dark already, she could see a pair of boots stopping before her. "Well, what can you expect from an old forgotten woman?"

She felt dirt being piled on top of her, then nothing more.

"You are one I did not expect for some time," a deep voice roused her, and Tsunade opened her eyes to find herself standing…where, she couldn't tell. A figure cloaked in black walked out of the darkness to her right, face covered by a hood.

"Am I dead?" she asked bluntly, taking in his attire. It was quite stereotypical, but seemed to serve the purpose.

"Yes and no." _What?_ "You still have a chance to go back."

Memories flooded back of the reason she had gone for a walk in the first place. "No," she replied bitterly, eyes narrowing. "You can take me now."

"Are you so sure? You know not of the consequences."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

In response, the cloaked figure waved its hand and suddenly she was back in Konoha, back in her office. Jiraiya was standing there, looking around puzzled. Shizune was behind him. "I don't know where she might be," the woman was saying, a bit frantically. "Naruto says she's not anywhere in the village, he checked all over!"

"She can't have just left," Jiraiya responded, but his eyes were shadowed. "She wouldn't have left without telling me; not for good."

"I can't stay here," Shizune looked harried, her head turning to look behind her every five seconds. "I have to go inform the council…"

"I'll wait here," Jiraiya interrupted, moving further into the room and sitting down on a bench against the wall. "In case she comes back." He didn't see the pitying look Shizune gave him as she left the office.

The scene jumped and Jiraiya was sitting at Ichiraku's, staring morosely into a bowl of ramen with Naruto next to him. "Cheer up, _Ero-sennin_," the boy was saying, slurping up a mouthful of noodles. "I'm sure she just went for a walk and got lost or something. She'll be back before you know it. Or maybe she did like before, and just left?"

"It's been a week, Naruto," Jiraiya said, eyes not leaving his bowl. "This is different. Last time she left because there was nothing to hold her here. But now there's a lot of people, and the village needs her. She wouldn't have just left…"

Another scene change. "We haven't found any evidence of foul play anywhere," Koharu was saying. "Starting now we must assume Tsunade-_san_ is missing in action, most likely killed, and act accordingly. "Jiraiya, you are to return to your spy networks."

"No." His voice was flat, and the point nonnegotiable.

"No?" Homura bristled. "It is your duty as a _shinobi_ of Konoha –"

"I refuse to leave until Tsunade returns," Jiraiya cut him off.

"She isn't coming back."

"Then I'll be here forever." He walked out of the office.

Yet another scene. Jiraiya was sitting at a low table, looking much more haggard than any time before. Tsunade looked around, seeing no signs of food. _Does he even eat anymore?_

"Tsunade…I promised you I would always wait…always…" he was muttering under his breath. "I refuse to break my promise…come back."

A much older Naruto came in the door, looking down at Jiraiya. "You gotta eat something, old man. C'mon." He plopped a basket of food down on the table. "I brought you some ramen and some fruit."

Jiraiya looked first at Naruto, then at the basket, then at Naruto. "When she comes back."

"She isn't coming back!" Naruto said slowly, as though to a dull person. "She's been gone for _years_, Jiraiya. Give it up. Move on!"

"No." He turned away from the table and the food, presenting Naruto with his back.

The blond gave a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine. But Sakura will expect that basket to be empty when she comes back," he warned.

Tsunade turned to the figure next to her. "What is he doing? Why won't he eat?"

"He waits for you," the reaper's voice was emotionless. "He refuses to believe you left him behind. He waits for you to return."

"But I can't! I'm dead!"

Silence.

This time when the scene changed Tsunade gripped her hands together and let out a helpless groan. Jiraiya was nearly emancipated, still sitting at that same table. He was mumbling under his breath, drawing meaningless patterns on the wooden tabletop.

"So tired…" She caught those two words, whispered as he looked up at the ceiling. "Feel it in my bones…should just rest for a while. Then I can wait some more…"

He leaned over the table, pillowing his head on his arms.

Instead of changing scenes time merely sped up, until people came in Jiraiya's door to check on him – older versions of Naruto and Sakura. The pinkette rushed to his side immediately, checking his vitals, then looked up at Naruto, shaking her head. "He's gone."

From where she stood Tsunade could see his features, turned towards her. His face was finally relaxed, something she hadn't seen once in all the visions, where lines of stress and worry marred his face.

Then everything went black and she was back in that nameless place, facing the black robed figure. "What is your choice?"


	203. United Through Time

Again this is Kaiser969's idea, another great one. In case you can't tell, Rin is far in Konoha's future - think Renaissance vs 21st century.

* * *

United Through Time

Rin stared sullenly out across the rooftops, her eyes only slits in the dark. She didn't need them, she didn't need _any_ of them. They were all stupid idiots anyway, too dumb to see past the skin and the legend. In a world of technology and machinery, she was the outcast, the forgotten, the hated. Well, she hated them right back. And if some of them died of that hatred, well, what did it matter? They were only ignorant fools.

She wiped some stray rain-soaked strands of hair out of her eyes. Her clothes were soaked through by the nonstop rain of that day, but it didn't bother her. No, she was strong, not like the other weaklings inhabiting Konoha, reliant on their technology and so called 'genius'.

She picked up a brick next to her, chucking it down at the street. It narrowly missed someone walking under an umbrella. As they turned to berate whoever it was had thrown the brick, she leaned over the edge of the roof, staring down. A flash of lightning illuminated her face for a brief instant. Immediately the man flinched, turning away and muttering "murdering demon" under his breath.

"Demon's don't exist!" she shouted after him, her voice cold with a hint of insane laughter. "Isn't that what you – all of you – keep telling me? _I _don't exist!"

Her voice echoed across the rooftops, lost to the rolling thunder and pouring rain.

"A familiar sentiment," came a voice from behind her. Rin spun around, automatically falling into a defensive crouch and picking up a brick for self-defense.

A red-haired man stood behind her, arms crossed over what looked like archaic clothing from times long before her Konoha. He had dark rings around his eyes and an odd gourd on his back – from what she could see, it wasn't made of metal or wood, so how was it staying together?

Rin let out a brittle laugh. "Who are you? Are you here to kill me just like the rest of them? The 'abomination' of nature and Konoha?"

The man had no eyebrows to raise, but she got the impression of wry skepticism. "I know you are a similar being."

Rin rolled her eyes. "So you escaped from the loony bin then. That explains the clothing. Nobody's like me, get that through your skull now. I'm a unique situation that goes against all the laws of physics. I shouldn't exist, as people have been proving since the day _it_ happened. That damn guru…" she trailed off, hands grasping the brick so hard her knuckles turned white. "_It's all his fault_. But I can kill you too." Her eyes fixated on him, growing wider as she considered it. "You're not too big. I could take you. Then they'll leave me alone again, for a while. Yes…" She moved out of her crouch fluidly, walking around him as though inspecting a prize.

His head didn't turn to follow her, but somehow she knew he was watching. It was an uncanny feeling. "Killing me won't validate your existence."

She stopped mid step, head turning to stare at him. "…What?"

"I said murdering me won't prove you exist," he repeated patiently, rotating his body to face her. "All it does is rob you of one more potential friend."

"Friend? What is a friend?" Her dark hair whipped around her as she spun on her heel, pacing back and forth along the wet rooftop. "Someone who gets close to you only to betray you later? Steals everything you have from you? Tries to _kill _you?"

"I thought the same once." His voice was matter-of-fact as he watched her. "Kill them before they kill you, don't let anyone close. But then I learned – if you reach out first, show them you are just the same, protect _them_, their minds will change. It may take years, but it _will _happen."

"What do you know? I bet nobody tried to kill you!"

"My first assassination attempt happened when I was five. I killed him. It was my uncle."

Rin averted her eyes, not willing to look at him and admit he may have a point. "They'd rather kill me first."

"Someone believes in you. All you have to do is find them." He waved his hand and sand swirled up out of nowhere, floating in the air.

Rin backed away from it, eyes wide. "You can't do that! It's impossible! It goes against all physics!"

"So do you, by your own admission." She had no retort to that. The sand coalesced into a sheet, where an image appeared. "Look."

She took a step closer, then another. "The…guru?" It had been a long time since she saw him, but he had fed her and given her shelter when no one else did. Even if he was responsible for her malformation in the first place.

"Go to him." The man's voice had lowered in volume, almost to a murmur. "Listen to him for once, and ask. 'Is he my friend?'"

Before Rin could form a response he was gone just as he had appeared, fading away into the rain. "Wait!" But no answer came back.

From where they had stood, watching, Temari and Kankurou turned and walked behind their brother. All three were long dead, but their souls lived on.

"Society is cruel to those who are different," Kankurou told his sister, voice low as he watched his brother's back.

"To the _jinchuuriki _most of all," she agreed. "People say they are the cruel ones…"

"But in reality, it is the people themselves," Kankurou finished.


	204. Called Back

A two part dare from Addster - enjoy.

* * *

Called Back

Sarutobi sighed, looking down at the infant in his arms. Minato's son, and already he had three assassination attempts on his head. Well, three that he knew of, the once-retired _Hokage_ mused. Probably more had slipped through the cracks or been deterred by the ANBU guard around the infant. But even the elite troops of the village couldn't be trusted to watch the container of the hated Kyuubi.

"You are the legacy of the village, and nobody can know it," Sarutobi told the sleeping boy. Naruto scrunched his eyes shut in his sleep, which made the three whisker marks on each cheek twitch. The _Hokage_ smiled, then turned and pushed open the great doors behind him. "I call the council to order."

Seated at a large table in the center of the room were the heads of every _shinobi_ family, as well as his two former teammates acting as his advisors. "We have a most pressing issue on our hands," Sarutobi announced gravely, facing all the members of the council. He displayed the infant in his arms, and Naruto fussed a little at being disturbed. "We must decide what to do with Uzumaki Naruto."

Uchiha Fugaku's eyes narrowed on the small bundle. "It bears the killer of many of our forces, the destroyer of our village. Imprison it, and never let it out."

Inuzuka Tsume stared at the man. "I always knew you were a cold bastard, Uchiha, but he's no different than your own son. Would you stick Itachi or Sasuke in a dungeon for their whole life?"

Before Fugaku could retort, Hyuuga Hiashi spoke up. "He should be placed with a trusted figure to keep watch of him, and ensure nothing untoward happens. Jiraiya-_sama_ would be best."

"No, we need Jiraiya off collecting information," Yamanaka Inoichi countered. "Without him the Torture and Interrogation Division would be lacking severely in knowledge."

"But he needs someone to look after him!" Tsume shouted, banging her hand on the table forcefully.

"Someone as prominent and powerful as Jiraiya-_sama_," Nara Shikaku entered the conversation, looking as bored and lazy as ever.

"Someone who looks like him so as to avoid raising suspicion," Aburame Shibi monotoned, face hidden behind his coat and sunglasses.

"Someone who looks like him…" Sarutobi repeated, musing over the idea. "Well…she is his godmother…"

* * *

Tsunade glared at the messenger pigeon that had carried the message. Could her _sensei_ be even more cryptic?

"Tsunade-_chan_,

We've had a problem; your presence is required immediately to cement the position of a close friend. This is not a request.

Sarutobi Hiruzen, _Sandaime Hokage"_

Honestly, what was he getting at? Everyone knew about the attack of the Kyuubi on Konoha by now, but she had no idea why Kushina had let it loose. Unless _she_ had died…but Minato wouldn't have let that happen. The blonde woman sighed, frustrated. If she wanted any answers, it was clear she would have to return to Konoha, which meant following her _sensei's_ order.

This was _not_ going to be a fun trip.

* * *

Tsunade stood in front of the council, arms crossed over her chest. "You called me back to _what_?" Her voice was deadly calm.

Sarutobi met her vengeful gaze with a level one of his own. "To take care of Minato and Kushina's son."

"I liked the two, don't get me wrong, but _I'm not a parent. _I'm not cut out to take care of a kid, and now that I've found out what I came here to learn I'm leaving," Tsunade shot back. She glared around at the council indiscriminately. In her mind, they were all responsible for what had happened.

"You will do no such thing," Hyuuga Hiashi returned her stare with icy cold eyes. He ignored Sarutobi's quick gesture to stop talking. "It is your duty to this village –"

She cut him off with a scornful laugh. "This village? What has this village ever done for me? No, take care of your own mess. I'm leaving this hellhole."

"Tsunade." She stopped at her _sensei's _voice, but didn't turn around. "If you don't take him in, he must go to the orphanage. People have already tried to kill him; he may be dead within the week. I can't watch him all the time."

Indecision tore at her. The child was an innocent. "Fine." The word tore out of her, rough around the edges. She spun around to glare at all of them. "But I'm only doing it for him, not for any of you." The blonde woman stalked up to the _Hokage_ and took the baby boy from his arms, and with one final glower at all the council members left the room.

"That could have gone better," Inoichi remarked casually, watching as the doors slammed behind the _Sannin_.

Sarutobi let out a long breath. "She agreed, it's the best we could have gotten."

"You should control your student." Fugaku's voice was frigid. "To let her get away with such antics –"

"You try to go against a pissed-off _Sannin_," Tsume laughed in his face. "I dare you. I'll even take bets."

"You mongrel, you wouldn't last a second against me!" Fugaku's voice rose in volume and he shot up from his chair, glaring daggers at the woman.

To the side, Shikaku sighed and rested his head on crossed arms. "This will take a while…"

* * *

"I don't know anything about taking care of a baby," Tsunade muttered to herself, pacing around the largest room of the apartment Sarutobi had given her. "Nawaki was an adolescent when they died…"

Naruto looked up at her with big blue eyes and began to whimper, fists clenching in his blanket. "Ah…I already checked your diaper, you're not cold…hungry?" Tsunade ran through the list she had been given of discomforts, then stared at the bottle apparatus set up on the countertop in the kitchen. "Great."

One interesting mishap involving hot water and some lettuce later, Naruto was settled in a wooden crib, staring up at Tsunade as she hovered above him. Being a newborn, he wasn't the coordinated, but when he reached for his feet and grabbed at them, then up at her hair where it hung over him, she had to laugh. He was too cute. He let out a soft burble at the sound, and his nose scrunched up in the most adorable way…

"Stop getting attached," she scolded herself lightly. "You're just here until _sensei_ can call Jiraiya back…" But she couldn't keep her heart from melting at the sight of Naruto reaching up at her with both arms before being distracted by something else. It was mere minutes before he was fast asleep.

"I can't believe people would try to kill you…" she combed fingers through his light shock of blond hair. "Don't worry, I'll protect you from them."


	205. Neverending

So I was reading back through some of my earlier work (chapters before 50), and it's struck me how much longer and more descriptive my writing has become since then. Turns out this is a really good way to track progress! Anyway, this is part two of Addster's dare, enjoy!

* * *

Neverending

It was surprising, but Tsunade had actually gotten used to taking care of a baby relatively quickly. As a newborn, Naruto slept often which made life much easier, apart from the few hours a day he woke up to eat and poop. She played with him a little then, making funny faces and seeing if she could get giggles out of him by tickling his stomach and feet. He was a cheerful baby, not prone to crying.

It was about eight at night and she had just put him down to sleep after yet another feeding – did newborns really eat that much? If so, she was going to have to ask her _sensei_ for some more supplies _soon_ – and decided it was the perfect time to take a shower. Based on what she had experienced over the last couple weeks, he wouldn't be stirring for at least two hours.

As Tsunade stepped into the hot water she sighed, pounding spray easing the tension that had built up in the muscles of her shoulders and back. It was good to relax, but she was always on edge while in the village. It was going to take time – a lot of time – to adjust. But if she could get wrapped up in taking care of Naruto, maybe, just maybe, time would pass faster.

When she stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a warm towel, she thought she heard a scraping sound and cocked her head to listen better. But it didn't repeat itself. She eyed the door, but moved to put on some comfortable clothes in which to study some medical tomes.

When she stepped out of the bathroom dressed in a loose t-shirt and sweatpants, she immediately knew _someone_ was in her apartment. Eyes swiveling all around, she crouched and eased across the floorboards, checking each room. Kitchen – clear. Main room – clear. Bathroom and bedroom – clear. Naruto's room...there was a shadowy figure hovering over the crib, something gleaming in its hand.

She couldn't ever recall moving so fast, not even to save her own life or beat up Jiraiya. In a blur she was in front of the figure, between it and the crib, one palm thrust out and knocking the arm away from the sleeping infant. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she hissed, eyes narrowed to keep a visual upon the intruder.

Whoever it was had spun away and landed in a crouch three feet away, glaring up at the blonde woman blocking them from their goal. "The demon _must die_."

"Like hell he's a demon!"

"It has blinded you with its seduction, but I know it for what it truly is!" The figure made another dart for the crib, a syringe in its hand poised and ready. Again Tsunade knocked the would-be murderer back, this time into a shaft of moonlight coming through the window.

The intruder was a female, middle aged, with long greying hair tied up in a ponytail. She was dressed in the standard scrubs of the hospital, with booties covering her shoes so as to make no sound and leave no signs. Her eyes gleamed in the moonlight, reflecting its brightness and giving her a slightly insane look. Tsunade had no doubt she had completely lost it. What caught her most however was the _hitai-ate_ tied to the woman's arm.

"You're a _kunoichi_?"

"Retired," the woman spat, eyes never leaving the crib even as she edged to the side. "Now I just do my duty as a citizen, patching up the forces…as I'll do my duty now!" _Again_ she lunged at the crib, faster than before. Tsunade thrust out a leg, tripping her up, but had to avoid a stab of the needle in the woman's hand. "This is instantly lethal," she cackled. "Just a drop or two in the bloodstream and all your major organs will shut down. I'm sure you know the compound, _Tsunade-sama_," and the emphasis on Tsunade's name was layered with contempt and menace, "after all, you invented it yourself!"

_Shit_. Tsunade dodged another stab of the needle, trying to keep her body between the woman and her goal. Channeling _chakra_ into her fist, she powered it forward at her enemy's solar plexus, aiming to incapacitate her, but was deflected by a quick arm sweep. What followed was a barrage of _taijutsu_ moves exchanged between the two, with Tsunade handicapped by protecting the crib. She was slowly being forced backward, and sorely regretted not having any weapons stashed in the baby's room. The only option was to make a break for it.

Tsunade raised her foot and launched a kick at the woman that had her flying back into the wall opposite the door, then turned and grabbed Naruto, running for the exit. If she could just hide him…

Her apartment was far too sparsely furnished to stash a baby, even one so small as a month old, anywhere that wouldn't be found or turned over in a fight. The only place she could think of was the pantry. Opening the door and placing Naruto on a shelf, she closed it just as the woman recovered her breath and came racing into the room. "Where have you put the demon? I won't let it live!"

Tsunade stood in the center of the kitchen, facing her enemy with determination. "I won't let you get to him. Ever."

"Then I'll just have to kill you and find him myself!"

Without the handicap of worrying about Naruto being in immediate danger, Tsunade was much freer to dance around the woman, launching blows that incapacitated first her arm, then legs, and finally pinned her to the floor, arms gripping the intruder's head firmly. Just then Naruto began to wail from his place behind the wooden door of the pantry.

"You'll never get him," Tsunade panted, then twisted her arms hard, snapping the woman's neck. With a long sigh she stood up, trying to regain her breath. One lucky punch to her diaphragm had left her a little short on air.

Her first order of business was to retrieve the crying baby from his spot on the shelf and cradle him close, trying to reassure him. As she bounced the sobbing blond in her arms, she bit the thumb of her right hand and wiped it on the floor. A small slug popped up at her feet.

"Yes, Tsunade-_sama_?"

"Go to Sarutobi-_sensei_. Tell him I need him immediately."

"Right away."

The slug disappeared and Tsunade sighed again, looking down at Naruto. "I'm afraid you have a long road ahead of you, little one."

Sarutobi appeared not two minutes later, barging in through the doorway and stopping short in the kitchen upon seeing the body of the woman Tsunade hadn't moved since killing her. Even the syringe was still in her hand. He didn't need to ask what had happened. Wordlessly he unrolled a scroll and formed a few hand seals, making the body disappear in a puff of smoke.

"Are you two okay?" he finally asked, moving to where Tsunade held the now sniffling baby. Shakily, she nodded.

"It's never going to end, is it?"


	206. Closeminded Bigots

One year after the last one (give or take a couple weeks), also asked for by Addster. I hope it's good, it was interestingly hard to get out.

* * *

Closeminded Bigots

She really hadn't intended on sticking around in the village for this long – it had been almost a year since being recalled. In that time she had gotten so wrapped up in taking care of Naruto and working on improving medical practices that she had almost forgotten why she wanted to leave in the first place. Almost.

The blond boy had been growing rapidly while she looked after him, seriously working on eating her out of house and home and developing an uncanny liking for ramen broth, even if she wouldn't let him have the noodles yet. It was approaching his first birthday – two days away – and she was more paranoid than ever that someone would try to kill him. The first anniversary of the Kyuubi's rampage wouldn't go over well with the public, and she had gotten Sarutobi to agree to put Naruto up in his house for the night, in one of the many safe rooms. Just in case.

"Naruto?" Tsunade called, poking her head out of the kitchen. A burbling response met her ears and led her into the family room, where the boy was standing up on two sturdy legs, clutching at the couch. He grinned at her when she stepped into the room and tried to turn to face her. The motion caused him to lose his balance and plop back onto his well-padded bottom, although he put both arms up in a clear gesture.

With a grin back, she moved forward and swooped him up into her arms. "How's my boy?" Naruto pulled at the hair framing her face in response. "Hungry yet?" Another burble was his response. "That's good, because it's lunch time."

She brought him into the kitchen, setting the boy down in the special chair Yamato had made just for him. He looked expectantly at the tray in front of him, then up at Tsunade, and banged his hands on the wood. "It's coming, it's coming," she told him, moving over to where the stove was, two pots resting on it with bowls next to them. One held her own meal, while the other was full of ramen broth as a special treat to the boy. She had already cut up some fruit into small pieces for him to eat, as well as some rice and a bit of pork.

The moment his food was in front of him, Naruto dug in with gusto, leaving Tsunade able to examine the newest medical tome she had procured from the hospital in an attempt to design better inpatient procedures. Even as efficient as the hospital was, some patients were still slipping through the cracks.

All too soon he was banging on his tray again to get her attention, and distractedly she put him down on the ground so he could crawl off. With all the doors closed, it wasn't as though he could get into much trouble.

She worked on for the next hour and a half, designing new ideas and drawing out schematics on a scroll, when she heard a commotion outside at the front of the house. After the attack on Naruto when he was a baby the _Hokage_ had moved the two from an apartment into a house in a relatively quiet neighborhood, but even the quietest place could have arguments.

"Demon! How dare you show your face!"

Tsunade was up and moving as soon as she heard the yell. The front door was open – she didn't know _how_ the boy had managed to do it – and Naruto was lying on the ground in front of a man whose hand was raised high in preparation to strike.

She recognized him as a normally jovial and polite man, who always gave her a nod hello and would sometimes even do grocery shopping for her. But now with his face contorted in rage he looked like a whole different person. "What are you doing?" she cried to distract him as she moved to pick up the silently weeping almost one year old. One sweeping wind later and Naruto was in her arms, a good ten feet away from the man.

"Good afternoon," the man told her, although his eyes remained fixed on the child she was holding. "That…monster…shouldn't be around here right now. Some might be tempted beyond restraint." The malice behind his words was clear as he glared daggers at Naruto. The blond boy had turned his face into Tsunade's shoulder as he grasped at her shirt with one small hand.

"He's not a monster," she retorted, rage making her voice shake. "He's just a little boy –"

"Who is responsible for the death and destruction of most of the village," their neighbor interrupted, voice climbing over hers. "Nothing you say will convince me otherwise, _he is the demon_."

She let out a long hissing breath, then turned on her heel and stalked into the house, slamming the door behind her so hard it cracked. "Stupid close-minded _bigots_," the blonde woman cursed, then winced as Naruto began to let out little muffled cries. "Shh…he's just a crazy man, he doesn't know what he's doing," Tsunade soothed him, rubbing one hand down his back as he clung to her, arms snaking around her neck.

"But if one more person threatens your life, I'm not going to be responsible for what happens after, no matter what _sensei_ says about controlling my reaction," she mumbled to herself.


	207. What a Surprise

Thanks thanks thanks to Addster for being my savior! We have another two parter coming up, and the idea is all hers!

* * *

What a Surprise

"Welcome home!" Mito greeted her husband at the gates of the village, leaning into him as he put an arm around her shoulders. "How did it go?"

"About as well as could be expected," Hashirama sighed, rolling his eyes. "The _Kage_ quibbled like children and almost nothing got done but agreements between the _Daimyou_. At least it will be another five years before I have to go through that kind of hell again."

Mito let out a soft laugh and was about to comment when Tobirama came shooting up, a far too gleeful grin on his face. "You're back!"

Hashirama gave his brother a wary look, immediately checking behind for either an angry woman or a swarm of enraged citizens. "…Why?"

The shit-eating grin got even wider and Tobirama let out a truly evil cackle. "You're going to love this. Well actually, you're going to hate it, but _I'm_ going to love it."

"Spit it out already!"

Mito caught on faster than Hashirama did. "No, I thought we agreed –"

Tobirama was quicker. "You're going to have a grandchild!" he crowed. Hashirama gave him a wide-eyed stare, and the white-haired man leaned in close, to whisper the two final words. "And soon." He almost skipped away chuckling, leaving a stunned man in his wake.

"He's joking right?" Hashirama turned to his wife, a desperate look in his eyes. "Please tell me he's joking."

Mito winced and stepped away from her husband to look him in the eye. "Not at all. Although I really think he shouldn't be getting so much joy from your discomfort."

"She's really…?" Somehow he couldn't say the word when it pertained to his own daughter. A nod affirmative. He let out a low moan.

"Hashi?" Mito was a bit worried as she waved a hand in front of the _Hokage's_ eyes in the middle of the street. "Hashi?"

"I…have to go…" he stumbled away from her, leaving a bewildered and not a little worried Mito behind him. There was some form of rage bubbling up from inside him slowly. For him to have a grandchild soon, she had to be pregnant. For her to be pregnant, some man had to be close to her. And he as a father let that man be close to her…he was honestly surprised a growling sound wasn't rumbling out of his chest. He had to get out of the village before he exploded.

When he rushed past the gate guards they looked after him quizzically but didn't dare call out. Something about the spikes of wood shooting out of the road behind him proving a good deterrent.

The moment he was safe in the forest he let it explode. Tendrils and branches of wood shot out of the ground and trees around him, twining into a large soundproof cocoon surrounding the man. His scream of rage was thankfully muffled lest anyone suspect their _Hokage_ was crazy.

Thirty minutes later Hashirama was _relatively_ sure he was calm. Walking back into the village he gave the two men manning the desk a polite nod, ignoring their stares and heading to his next destination, the Yamanaka flower shop.

"Ah, _Hokage_-_sama_, what can we do for you today?" the pleasant woman at the counter asked him, bustling around her post. "A bouquet? An arrangement?"

"Ah…what would be good for a potentially temperamental woman?" he questioned tentatively, eyeing the flowers around him. They were still a mystery to him after all the years of being married to Mito.

"Ah…" Saki eyed the slightly frazzled man in front of him, then ran over all the gossip she had collected. "I know just the one." In five minutes she had collected an array of flowers and pushed them into the _Hokage's_ hands. "Free of charge."

"Ah…thank you."

"Now go!" she practically pushed the man out of her shop and watched him walk down the street. "I can't wait to talk to Mito…"

Hashirama rapped a few times on his daughter's door and shifted from foot to foot. He really shouldn't be feeling like a nervous teenager at his own daughter's house! But…

The door opened and Satomi beamed at her father. He stared at her _very_ large stomach. "I…uh…I brought these for you!" he thrust the flowers at her.

"Thanks, _Otou-san_!" she exclaimed, taking the bouquet from him and pushing it into his face. "Come in, come in!"

Hashirama followed his daughter into the living room where she settled herself down on the couch very carefully, and resisted the urge to help her down. When he had done it to Mito she had smacked him – hard. A well learned lesson was to never offer help unless it was asked for.

"When did this happen?" he finally asked, working to not stare even more. "I don't remember you being…when I left."

She giggled and hugged her stomach. "You left before I knew!"

"But…I…" somehow he was completely lost for words, something very uncharacteristic for the _Hokage_ that had convinced two warring clans to work together.

"_Otou-san_, it's not like it's something huge," Satomi told her father, looking at him worriedly. Hashirama was looking a bit pale. "Well…it is. But this will be a good thing!"

"Yeah…" Hashirama mumbled. "Yeah, a good thing!" He brightened. "That old adage will certainly prove to be true!"

Just then the front door opened and his son-in-law walked in. "I'm home!"

"We're in here," Satomi called back, and Hashirama trained his eyes on the door frame. The moment the man who had impregnated his daughter walked in, the _Hokage_ gave him a unique glare that only a man in a certain position can give to another – the "you touched my daughter and if you hurt her I'm going to make your life hell" look.


	208. Getting Old

Second part/continuation, enjoy

* * *

Getting Old

Hashirama was busy doing deskwork when he felt the faint tingle. It wasn't something physical or even something noticeable to the normal person…but it was there. His pen stopped moving as he cocked his head, trying to figure out what the sensation was. Nothing was tickling him…it was only in his head. The last time he had felt such a thing Satomi needed him urgently. Who was he to dismiss fatherly instinct? And it was an excuse to get away from the tedious boredom in front of him.

He clasped his hands together and in a puff of smoke he was gone from the office – just as Tobirama entered with a mischievous expression on his face that quickly turned to dismay upon seeing his brother disappear. When he reappeared Hashirama was outside his daughter's house, and he immediately barged in, _chakra_ ready to be directed at any intruders.

Instead he heard a wail. "_Otou-san_!"

Instantly he was pelting up the steps, searching each and every room for his daughter along the way. Whatever he had expected, it wasn't what he found – although in retrospect it should have been his first thought.

Satomi was sitting on her bed, curled around her abdomen in pain. When Hashirama entered the room at a run she looked up, and he saw tear streaks down her face. "_Otou-san_…I can't move." His daughter had been a _kunoichi_ for a few years and most definitely knew how to handle pain, so to see her caught in its grasp rattled him.

"Satomi? What's wrong?" His voice had gone up at least four pitches, and his hands were moving frantically as he approached her. The normally level-headed _Hokage_ had been turned into a nervous wreck. "Is it the baby?"

A mute nod, and he noticed a growing wet patch underneath her. Then she groaned again and clutched at her stomach so hard he honestly thought she was going to disappear into a speck. "We have to get you to the hospital now! And get your mother…where is that husband of yours? He should be here!"

"He's…on a mission," Satomi gasped and grabbed her father's sleeve with one strong hand. "Please…"

"Hold onto me," Hashirama instructed, wrapping his arms around his daughter. "This is going to be disorienting…" A rush of wind and they were in the hospital, the _Hokage_ being the only thing keeping Satomi upright. "We need a doctor, _now_!" he yelled, and four nurses bustled out of nowhere, bundling the woman away from her father and pushing him backwards.

"What happened?"

"Where's Mito-_sama_? She should be here!"

He wasn't sure what happened next, but within the half hour he was situated in a waiting room outside his daughter's with Mito sitting next to him. He had tried to follow the doctor into the room only to be told quite firmly that until the birth was imminent or Satomi requested his presence, _he was to remain outside_.

"_It hurts!"_ He could hear the scream through the walls and door, and he winced. Hearing his daughter in pain was more disconcerting than he would have thought possible. _And _he was going to be a grandfather.

"I feel so old…" he muttered to his wife as he cringed at yet another yell.

She let out a soft laugh and gave Hashirama a kiss on the cheek. "You think I don't feel the same? I remember when she was but a babe herself." Then she got a better look at his face, and the terrified expression adorning it. "You stood by coolly when she was born, but now that she's giving birth to your grandchild you're on the verge of fainting?" This time her laugh was full-throated as she grinned at him.

"_Otou-san_!" He shot to his feet just as a doctor poked his head out of the room.

"You can come in now," the man said unnecessarily. Hashirama was already rushing for the door.

"Satomi!" He cringed and covered his face, hurrying forward so he was at her head. "How are you doing?"

Her glare could have peeled paint. "How…do you think?"

"…Not well?"

"Noo~oooo!" She curled up into a ball again, and all he could do was stand by her side and stroke her hair as she screamed. Just when he really wasn't sure he could take anymore his son-in-law arrived, out of breath and covered in grime from travel. "Am I too late?"

"It's time," a nurse announced, looking at the two men. "Only one of you gets to come."

"You go," Hashirama said immediately, pointing at the father-to-be. "Good luck."

Satomi was wheeled away, the dazed man following as Hashirama returned to his wife. "It shouldn't be long now." He wasn't aware his eyes were glazed over.

He was sitting in his chair, gazing into the distance with Mito next to him when Satomi was wheeled back, stomach noticeably flatter. "It's a girl," she announced, smiling happily. "She's beautiful."

"That's great!" The _Hokage_ got up, approaching his daughter with both hands out. "Where is she?"

"Right here," a nurse spoke up behind him, wheeling in an incubator with a blonde baby in it. She took the girl out and placed her in her mother's arms, where the baby immediately began to fuss.

Entranced, Hashirama slid himself onto the bed next to his daughter and held out his arms. "May I?"

"Of course." Her blue eyes were magnetic, he found as he stared into the baby's. "We were going to name her after _Obaa-sama_, since she looks so similar," Satomi continued, watching the tableau of grandfather and granddaughter. If only someone was there to catch a picture.

The _Hokage_ only smiled and nodded, lost in his own world with Tsunade. "I can get over feeling old if I've got you," he told her, and chuckled as she kicked her feet in response.


	209. Old Photos

Not quite the 10pm deadline I had set for myself...but much better than the 2am of the past few days. Thanks to Addster for thinking of a continuation off of one line of the last one.

* * *

Old Photos

"Reports…reports…census…Don't they have anything better to put here?" Tsunade groused to herself as she pulled book after book after the shelves lining her new office. "I mean after three generations of _Hokage_, _one_ of them had to have been a bit more inventive! Especially Uncle…"

She was surrounded by volumes of documents spanning from Konoha's creation, trying to clear out the shelves so she could put her own items there.

"These aren't even sorted by era…honestly," Tsunade continued, brushing some dust off a book cover. "_Icha Icha? _Which pervert would be reading this…" she flipped the cover open to see a name scrawled on the inside. "_Sensei?_" The blonde woman gave a convulsive shudder. "No. Don't need to think that. Nope…" she shoved the book away from her with enough force it hit the opposite wall and determinedly turned her back on it.

In two hours she had made it through most of the shelving, tossing most of the papers into the 'junk' pile, but leaving a few personal books to the side. As she reached to her right, stretching a bit to grab an elusive book, her fingers brushed across a leather-bound one far in the back. "What?"

When she pulled it out she rolled her eyes at the title – _Chakra_ Techniques and Refinement – and was about to toss it into the library pile when her fingers snagged on something sticking out of the top. Curiosity got the better of her and she flipped the book over, looking at the piece of paper sticking out the top. Sliding her finger down it, she opened the book and gasped at the 'bookmark'.

It was a faded photo where Hashirama was much younger, grinning down at something in his arms. Upon closer examination it turned out to be a baby wrapped in a pink blanket, and if she was any judge the girl was just born.

When she turned the photo over she smiled softly at the inscription. _My darling Tsunade just after birth. _

A loud sound had her turning towards the door just before a blond blur entered her office. "I just saw Konohamaru and he says you're _cleaning_! Why are you _cleaning_?"

"Hell if I know," she groused, putting both book and picture on the floor next to her. "But Shizune told me that if I didn't she'd make sure I couldn't put any _sake_ in this office _ever_, _and_ I'd have to read every single report!" She shuddered. "This is much more painless."

"Oh…" the boy's eyes scanned the room and alighted on the photo. "What's that?"

"That…is a picture of me with my grandfather."

_"Your grandfather was the first Hokage?_" Naruto squawked, jumping back and pointing a quivering finger at Tsunade.

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "It's not like it's a huge secret. You did go to the Academy, yes?"

"But…but…" He was spluttering now. "You…" With great effort he gathered himself and moved closer to the photo. "You're _tiny_. You were a _baby_?"

"Well I was just born," Tsunade laughed, picking up the photo once more.

"But I thought you were born _old_!"

She twitched and valiantly tried not to hit the loud mouthed brat in front of her. "No," she said slowly. "I was born a baby, like _everyone else_."

His eyes inspected her, running over her head to her feet then looked at the picture. "I don't believe it's you," he told her simply.

"Why would I lie?" Her voice was deceptively calm as she eyed him back.

"'Cause…" he trailed off as he tried to think of a reason. "'Cause…"

"_Gaki_," she hit the back of his head hard enough he sunk to the ground clutching it. "I'm not going to pass some infant off as me. Someone must have taken that picture when I was born."

From streaming eyes Naruto examined the picture once more, then looked up at the new _Hokage_ warily. "…You were pretty cute."

Tsunade raised her fist again to hit him, then frowned. "What?"

"I'm not repeating it!"

Again the blonde woman rolled her eyes, but this time there was a fondness in her expression. "Thanks." Then her eyes narrowed. "Don't think that means I'm going soft on you. If you're here, you get to help!"

"Aw come on!"


	210. Dark Desire

Warning - dark, death, violence. Definitely pushing the T rating as opposed to K+. Be warned. Thanks to Kaiser969 and another friend for the idea and development.

* * *

Dark Desire

Naruto dodged the fireball heading straight at him, hands pushing off the ground in a backflip. "Sakura, on your right!" He searched the ground for any sign of his enemy, not daring to look up lest he meet the famed eyes.

"Too late, _dobe_." The blond spun around and his world was lost in a flash of red and black.

* * *

He was walking down the road of Konoha, feeling rage bubbling up inside him. His fists were clenched tightly, long nails biting deeply into his palms. Blood welled up out of the cuts but he didn't care, he welcomed it. Raising one hand to his face, Naruto first examined the crimson liquid then grinned savagely and licked it off his wrist. He could practically feel his eyes glow. "It is time for justice."

The people of Konoha gave him a wide berth, able to feel the malice that surrounded his body, scuttling into shops, homes, and far across the street to avoid him. He gave them a wide smile; one woman fainted.

Sakura was sitting outside on a bench, facing away from him. Naruto walked up next to her and sat down silently, suppressing his killing intent. "Lovely day isn't it?" he asked companionably, a lilt to his voice.

She spun around, one hand automatically going to her weapons pouch, then relaxed as she saw him. "Oh, Naruto…I wasn't expecting you here. I thought you were out on a mission?"

"It ended early." He could feel his elongated canines pressing against his lips and tongue as he fought the urge. "I have to tell you something."

"This isn't another love proclamation is it?" she asked wearily. "Because you know…"

"Don't worry, it's nothing like that." Naruto's fists clenched tighter, and his smile widened. "I just wanted to say _this_." Quick as a flash, his hand jabbed out, fingers straightened and claw-like fingernails acting as a knife, plunging into her abdomen. He twisted cruelly and pulled his hand out even as she gasped in surprise and pain. "You said you would do anything for me, but you only use me to get to Sasuke. The asshole will never take you back; nobody would want _you._"

"Naruto…" she grasped at his hand, but he pulled it away and stood, looking down at his former teammate even as she collapsed.

"Pathetic."

He didn't even bother to move her body or clean off his hand, but stuck both in his pockets and sauntered down the street confidently. It wasn't long until he came across the next person on his vengeance tour, standing outside the _Hokage_ Tower and looking up at the faces engraved on the mountain.

"N-Naruto-_kun_!" She still hadn't gotten rid of the stutter. Once he would have thought it cute, but now it just showed one more reason why she was pathetic.

"Hello, Hinata." There was no endearment with her name now, and she stared at him, noticing the difference instantly.

"Naruto-_k-kun_?"

"You're a useless weakling. You depend on me for everything, but only because it means you never have to do anything yourself. You couldn't even if you tried." He said it all with a smile, even as shock and hurt painted themselves across her face and her breathing quickened.

"What?" No stutter this time. "I thought…"

His clawed hand lashed out, slashing across her throat in a gesture she was too paralyzed to block. The girl collapsed instantly, white eyes still staring up at him even as she fell. He could tell she was whispering something even as her life force seeped away, but the blond only laughed. "Too weak even to stop me. Goodbye." He walked away, into the tower, leaving yet another body in his wake.

Naruto didn't stop as he strolled into Tsunade's office, and she glared at him. "_Gaki! _What did I tell you about knocking?"

"Oh, I don't think it matters," he replied nonchalantly. His aura intensified, releasing all the killing intent he had been repressing. Befitting her station Tsunade wasn't immobilized by it, instead shoving away from her desk and settling into a defensive stance.

"What have you done?" Her golden eyes were serious as she stared at him.

"I'm righting the world." He smiled at her, and she flinched from the malice in it. "You are the final wrong." A red outline began to form around him, and in a blur he was behind her, hugging the _Sannin_ and whispering in her ear. "You're supposed to be the leader of the greatest village in the world, the _protector_. But instead you just send people to die for you. How does that feel, to be responsible for taking the lives of many to save your own?"

She stiffened and shoved an elbow back at him, but her response time was too slow, dulled by dual fury and pain. One hand wrapped itself around her throat and the other locked her arms to her sides. "No escape."

They remained there until her body jerked convulsively in search of air and she finally went limp. When Naruto released the _Hokage_ she slid to the floor. "Finally." Pain shot through his body, once, twice. "What?" Again. "No!"

* * *

Naruto's eyes snapped open and he found himself lying on the ground, both Hinata and Sakura hovering over him. Sakura's hands were at his temples while Hinata's were over his heart. "You were in a _genjutsu_," Sakura explained the moment he met her eyes. "We had to shock you out of it."

The blond struggled up, shrugging off two pairs of helping hands. "It was all lies. It was an illusion…"

Sasuke appeared in front of the three in a flash of fire, looking at his once-best-friend impassively. "Was it? Who is to say that vision was crafted by my eyes, and not drawn out of your subconscious? Who is to say that is not your deepest desire?"


	211. Running On Empty

Another short one. I wrote the poem tonight as well.

* * *

Running On Empty

Tsunade stared at the desk in front of her morosely, idly swirling her nearly empty _sake_ bottle with one hand. It was the only way to forget her sorrows, but at the same time it made the past seem even more vivid. Such a sucky trade-off.

She tapped manicured nails on the wooden surface. Shizune had gone home, leaving the _Hokage_ alone in the office with her thoughts. She didn't want to leave; she didn't think she could stand seeing anyone else.

For the past month she had been slowly losing energy, her vibrancy dwindling with each passing day until she felt like an empty shell. Even the _sake_ couldn't fill the hole anymore, instead acting like quicksand and bogging her down at night.

Never before had Tsunade been so grateful for the constant _genjutsu_ she wore, hiding her true appearance from the world. She had no doubt if she cared to look, she would see bags under her eyes, new wrinkles lining her cheeks, and a wane complexion. Naruto would probably laugh at her and call her old. Getting old sucked too.

The _gaki_ had been annoying her recently too, trying to get a rise out of his '_baa-chan_'. She didn't even have the energy to hit him, and that more than anything pissed her off. More _sake_ was needed. She reached into the open desk drawer beside her and pulled out another bottle, cracking the seal on it with expertise and taking a long swig.

There was a beat somewhere deep in her head, far past the memories of Nawaki and Dan, the death of her family. She could feel it pulsing, and her fingers unconsciously began to tap to the rhythm, hitting it out on the desk.

A phrase pushed its way forward too, repeating over and over until she couldn't get it out of her mind. "Running on empty." She said it aloud, feeling the way it went to the beat. "Running on empty."

In a sudden scramble she was rummaging in another desk drawer, pulling out a blank scroll and a pen. The words wouldn't stop coming.

I'm running on empty  
With my head on the floor  
Chasing all my troubles away  
I'm running on empty  
Flying out through the door  
The wind is rushing by  
The birds can hear me cry  
I just want it all to fade

And when the sun is shining  
I still can't feel its light  
It's like a broken window  
Is blotting out my sight  
I'm taking each day coming  
And falling far behind  
And all because

I'm running on empty  
Oh yes because  
I'm running on empty

The floor can't hold me now  
The door has shut real tight  
The wind has gone against me  
And the birds have all gone by  
The sun has long since set  
And the shades are all drawn taut

Because I'm running on empty.  
I'm running on empty.  
And nothing in the world is right.


	212. Are We There Yet?

So I'm heading off to the beach tomorrow for a week (yes I still plan to do a drabble each day!) and I thought of all those years ago when I was the one asking, "Are we there yet?" It's very appropriate, no?

* * *

Are We There Yet?

"We're going to the beach?" Sakura shot up from the bench she was sitting on, clapping her hands happily. "When? Where? Who?"

Tsunade grinned at her apprentice's enthusiasm. "You, Naruto, Jiraiya, and I. Think of it as a mentor student outing for the hard work put in by both of you." As Sakura turned in a circle squealing, the blonde woman rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Remember who we're going with, will you? We're meeting at the gate tomorrow, nine sharp. Don't be late."

"_Hai!"_

The next morning dawned bright and early, so by the time the four met the sun was already high in the sky. Well, three of them were there, and Naruto was tapping his foot impatiently as they waited for his _sensei_. "Damn _Ero-sennin_ had better not keep us waiting too long," he grumbled, looking over his shoulder for the fifth time in a minute. "He's getting as bad as Kakashi-_sensei_…"

"You miss me that much already?" came a laughing voice from the gates.

Both Naruto and Sakura spun around and with a synchronization born of long practiced shouted "You're late!" at the lounging _sannin_.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, scowling at the two students and rubbing the back of his head, "you don't have to make a big deal of it." He didn't have time to dodge Tsunade's fist. "What was that for?"

"For making us wait while you did some last minute 'research'," she glared daggers at him. "Let's go."

"H-Hey! Stop that!" Jiraiya bumbled next to her, desperately pawing at the manicured hand that has his ear in an iron grip.

"If you're going to act like an unruly child, I'm going to treat you like one."

By the time they had been walking for an hour Sakura was up front with Tsunade, talking new medical techniques, Jiraiya was still pouting in the middle of the group, and Naruto was lagging behind, looking around at the scenery. Something moving caught his eye and he whipped around, examining the path behind the group. Nobody would be stupid enough to attack the two _Sannin_…

There was a rock on the path. Nothing strange there. But the rock was square. The boy rolled blue eyes expressively. _Really_? Did Konohamaru have to choose _today_ of all days to trail him? He turned around and walked a few paces with the group, then whipped back again. Sure enough, the rock had moved for a few seconds after he had stopped before stopping itself.

"Konohamaru, what are you doing here?"

Conversation at the front of the group stopped abruptly. "Konohamaru?" Tsunade's voice was a threatening growl.

The rock trembled, but a voice answered back bravely. "Are we there yet?"

"Are we…? For the love of all that's –" Tsunade stopped herself and took in a deep breath. "_Gaki,_ what are you doing out of the village without permission?"

"I was following Naruto-_nii-san_!"

Even Jiraiya was looking seriously at the rock. "You can't just leave without telling anyone. It's dangerous."

"But I'm with you!"

"We can't just turn back," Sakura spoke up. "We'll never get to the beach then."

Tsunade took in another deep breath and held it. "Fine. But you had better keep quiet and keep up, hear?" The rock nodded. "Then let's _move_."

It was barely twenty minutes before the small voice came from the back of the group. For some reason Konohamaru had yet to shed his rock guise. "Are we there yet?"

"No."

Five minutes. "Are we there yet?"

Naruto answered him this time. "Konohamaru – rocks aren't square, and definitely no rock asks if we're there yet."

"But _nii-san_!"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

Tsunade paused in the middle of a sentence to Sakura, closed her eyes for patience, and started talking again, hoping the boy would stop if she didn't answer.

"Are we there yet?"

Jiraiya took the question. "Do you see beaches and sand?"

"No…"

"Then no."

"Are we there yet?" A distinctly whiny edge to the tone this time.

"_No_."

"Are we there yet?"

"Little rocks don't talk if they value their lives," Tsunade growled, cracking her knuckles demonstratively. That ensured a whole ten minutes of silence from everyone in the small group.

"Are we there yet?" This time it was Naruto who spoke up, a puppy-dog expression on his face as Tsunade whirled around. "I want to get to the beach!"

"For the last time, _no!"_

_"_How much longer?"

"We'll get there when we get there!" Even Sakura's fists were beginning to clench in anger.

The next question came with a double chorus. "Are we there yet?"

In a quick lash a large boulder next to the road had become gravel and Tsunade blew lightly across her knuckles to dislodge the residual dust. "Last. Warning."

Both boy and rock stared at the remains of the boulder, slowly turned to look at each other, and then back at Tsunade. Simultaneously they asked "Are we there yet?"

A cloud of dust made up their trail as they sped off, both Tsunade and Sakura chasing after them. "You little brats! Get back here!"

Left behind, Jiraiya stared speculatively after the four. "I hope they don't scare away all the hot babes at the beach…"


	213. There Is Always Time

First, thanks to Kaiser969 for this brilliant idea! Second, this is my first first-person writing. Please tell me if I need to change anything of it! Third, I've been looking back over my stuff, and I would like an opinion. Should I continue to italicize the Japanese words? I won't stop using them, but sometimes now I feel as though it breaks the flow a little bit. Pm me or leave me a note at the bottom of a review please.

* * *

There Is Always Time

I was thirteen when I first noticed it. A girl would follow me around the streets, but I didn't think anything of it really. Her name was Hinata, and she had been in my Academy class for years…for some reason she would always blush and stutter around me too, and poke her fingers together. I never got it.

Her hair was cut really short at the back, so it kind of stuck out, and she had bangs around her face, and a really bulky jacket. I always wondered why she kept it that way, it looked a bit weird.

It was only during the _Chuunin_ Exams that I really took note of her. Before that I'd just kind of wave, and she'd faint! No idea why. But she was fighting her cousin Neji, and she wouldn't give up. She said it was her _nindo_. I gotta admire a girl who refuses to give up, just like me. Then Neji hit her in the heart, damaging it, and I swore vengeance upon him on her blood. Looking back, that's really morbid…

But I decided then I was at least going to get to know her better, instead of her just being a shy girl I knew by name. On some level I noticed her feelings for me too. Then _Ero-sennin_ offered to train me – well, not offered – for the last part of the _Chuunin_ Exams, so I figured "It can wait. There'll be time after the Exams are over."

Of course at that point _teme_ decided to be all emo and desert Konoha, and Hinata wasn't fit for duty. I was going to talk to her earlier that day, but Sasuke came first. After all, there was always tomorrow.

It completely slipped my mind after Sasuke beat me up and left me for dead that I wanted to acknowledge her feelings for me, that I actually kind of realized what they were. It was like what I felt for Sakura after all, so long ago. And then _Ero-sennin_ told me he would train me and make me much stronger; the catch was we were going to leave the village for a couple years. I went without a second thought, and without saying goodbye to her. I feel really bad about that now. Maybe if I had, things would have turned out a bit different.

When I came back to the village three years later it was after resisting all of _Ero-sennin's_ attempts to corrupt me to the 'woos of women'. But traveling with him I couldn't help but pick up some tips and tricks, you know? So I noticed immediately that Hinata had changed her jacket and grown out her hair, and that she was more confident. But she would still turn bright red when I was around, and especially when I talked with her. Clear sign right there. So I figured I would ask her out soon, get into dating with her. Then Gaara got abducted. "Always tomorrow, right?"

We beat up a few members of Akatsuki, and while we already knew they were after me, now their plans were ready to put into action; I had to get stronger. I didn't have time to slow down, so I put everything on hold, including asking her. Too much to do to save the world, yeah? Then _Ero-sennin_ got killed, and I had to avenge him; I went off to Mount Myoboku to do sage training. And when I came back, Konoha was being obliterated.

She died in front of me. I watched her get stabbed even as she told me she loved me. That hurt like nothing I had ever felt, and I completely lost control. At that point I didn't care about anything but killing the one who had committed such a heinous crime. He had killed one of the constants in my life, and he was going to pay.

I got to Nagato and convinced him to revive all of Konoha, including _her_. I was definitely going to ask her out, I promised myself! I even met her by the riverbank of Konoha after Yamato-_taichou _remade it, and we talked. But then those Kiri _shinobi _showed up, and they accused Sasuke. "I'll do it tomorrow."

Things never slowed down after that. I was going all over the world, acting as a combined emissary/explorer/wanderer, helping where I could. I didn't go back to Konoha for years.

One day Tsunade called me back, said I should come home for a visit. It had been a long long time since I'd been home, and it was late in the evening when I walked through the gates. Most people didn't recognize me, so I just meandered through the village, looking around. I was at the riverbank when I saw her again.

Her hair was very long by now, but she still had those cute bangs across her forehead. She was dressed in a summer _yukata_ and there was a pack of fireflies floating around her. She looked like a dream. I swear I did a double take when I saw her, so when she waved at me, I had to rub my eyes to make sure she wasn't a vision before I waved back. But _she was gone_.

The only person I could think to go to was Neji, because the two had gotten very close after the Exams.

"Neji, have you seen Hinata lately?" He didn't answer, just looked at me with a somber expression. I tried again. "I saw her by the riverbank yesterday, but she disappeared before I could talk with her."

"You have been away for a very long time, Naruto." His words were measured and slow, and I couldn't miss the flicker of pain in his eyes. "You were gone too long."

Even after all those years I was still a bit hotheaded and prone to action. "What do you mean, too long? I came back and she disappeared!"

"She was gone long before you came back. Come." Neji led me into the Hyuuga Compound – I'd never actually been in the place – and through a maze of pathways in a garden. "Here." There were two stones next to each other, one significantly newer than the other. My eyes were immediately drawn to the newer, tracing the characters on it. Hyuuga Hinata. A light in the life of all.

"No." My voice was faint. "No. I can't be too late…"

"She waited for you. Every month she would go to the riverbank and spend the whole day there, just sitting and hoping you would come back. Eventually her heart and body just gave out. You were her life." Neji's voice was flat and emotionless even as I fell to my knees in front of the stone.

The pain I had felt when Nagato killed her was nothing compared to the crushing guilt I felt now. "I always thought there would be one more day. There would be just a little more time to ask her…I just thought there would always be time. Hinata, I'm so sorry." I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks as I crouched there, and Neji looked on silently, bearing Hinata's witness.


	214. Boom

I came to a compromise regarding the italicized words, seeing as the vote was split about half and half regarding keeping them or not. I'm going to italicize the suffixes still, such as _chan, baa-chan, sensei,_ etc...but none of the other words.

This was created by my brother giving me three random words and a place. Well mostly random...I had to rule out space station and train. XD

* * *

Boom

Naruto's tongue protruded slightly from between his lips, a look of intense compensation painted across his face. With one more stroke he left a line of ink on the small rectangular piece of paper and sat back with a sigh of satisfaction. "Done."

"Naruto-_nii-san_, are you sure this will work?" Konohamaru regarded the tag in front of them doubtfully. "You've never made one before."

The blond boy rolled his eyes. "Ero-sennin has been teaching me! This is a piece of cake, trust me." He slapped it onto the brick ceiling of the sewer, eyeing the whole trap. Cloth strips torn from curtains stretched across the ceiling in a web, attached to multiple boxes strung up by the same material.

Konohamaru looked at Naruto, the tag on the ceiling, and the web. "I'll just…go get Sakura…right, boss?"

"Yeah! The moment she's down here, we'll detonate."

The boy scampered off, glad to escape the prank where something could go wrong at any minute. Who knew with Naruto creating sealing tags out of nothing but memory? Chances were it would either blow big or not at all.

He found the pinkette prowling the streets of Konoha, fists clenched into weapons of destruction and fury promised upon her countenance. Konohamaru was reluctant to approach her, but he could either explain that to Naruto later, or risk her wrath. "Sakura?"

She spun on her foot, heel grinding into the bricks of the pathway, and glared at the boy. "_What?_"

Immediately he shrunk back, hiding behind a telephone pole and poking his head out. At least he had something between her and the fists of fury. "Naruto-_nii-san_ wants to see you!"

"Naruto…" she growled out the word, and jade eyes sharpened on the boy even further. "Where is he?"

Mutely Konohamaru raised a hand and pointed downward. "Sewers," he squeaked, backing up. He _really _didn't want to be around when the ink hit the fan.

Sakura stormed towards the nearest entrance to the sewers, a manhole cover by the Academy Naruto had pointed out a few weeks ago. Now it was going to be his downfall. She lifted the grate with ease and jumped down the hole, not caring what may be at the bottom except her retribution. "Naruto!" Her voice echoed through the tunnels.

Thirty feet away Naruto cringed. He had done something to piss her off again – but he didn't remember what. Oh well, he'd have to take his chances. Casting one more glance at the tag on the ceiling he leaned out of the corridor he was situated in. "Over here!" he waved to his teammate.

The moment Sakura caught sight of him she raised her fist and began charging. "You're going to pay!"

Whatever he had done, it must have been bad. After this, it would be prudent to take cover for a few days, for sure. A small sizzling sound met his ears, and Naruto turned around to see his homemade seal tag beginning to curl at the edges. "No!"

Just as Sakura came around the corner the tag exploded, even as Naruto leapt for it to tear it from the ceiling. Too late. Fire lit across the curtain web, and traveling to the wooden boxes. The resulting detonation had both teammates ducking for cover, Naruto tucking and rolling into a corner and Sakura diving back out the way she had come. Even then both got caught in the blast.

When the tunnel had stopped shaking, Sakura stood up slowly, eying first herself then Naruto. "What. Did. You. Do?"

"Sakura-_chan_, I can explain…" the blond smiled weakly, waving both hands in front of him. "Honest, it's not as bad as it looks."

One step closer, one step back. Each left a footprint outlined in florescent purple paint, the same color as the walls now. "Oh, can you now?" Pink and purple didn't work well together at all, Naruto decided, checking behind him for an escape route. Dead end. He really should have thought that through before. "I don't want to hear it. The only sound I want to hear right now is you apologizing. And saying the words 'I can fix it'."

Naruto's eyes grew wider. "Ah…I'm sorry?"

"And?" The dangerous cracking of knuckles.

He braced himself, then darted forward, ducking under a swinging arm. "It'll wear off eventually!"

"Naruto, get your ass back here!" Her yell shook the sewers just as much as the earlier explosion did.

Konohamaru was waiting outside the opening. "Boss, what did you do?" he breathed, taking in the purple striped orange jumpsuit.

"Ah…don't ever try to set up a surprise room creator," Naruto rubbed at the back of his head sheepishly. "It doesn't work."

* * *

Ahh...in case you're confused by Naruto's last statement - the whole thing with the boxes and the tag was to create a room in the sewers for Sakura in one 'boom'. The boxes all held furniture and stuff, and the paint was supposed to go on the walls. Didn't quite work though. XD


	215. The Proposal

A wonderful idea Star Josherson came up with. Thanks!

* * *

The Proposal

Minato stood in front of the door, jittering from side to side with his hands in his pockets. He really wasn't sure why he was there, after all there was no reason to be…yeah, he should go. Wait no, he had to ask…but why did he have to? It wasn't like she had any effect on Kushina's life other than being a friend…but it was polite…Argh. So complicated.

Before he could have second thoughts, the blond raised his hand and knocked firmly on the wooden door. Immediately he braced himself, taking two steps back from the door. No response. Maybe she wasn't home, maybe he was saved…

"Minato? What are you doing here?"

Damn.

Slowly he turned around to face the person he both liked and feared at the current moment, Tsunade. She was carrying some brown grocery bags in her arms, and one eyebrow was cocked in an expression of amusement. "Can I help you with something?"

"Ah…" his treacherous mouth moved against his will. "It can wait. Let me help you with those bags." He reached out to take one, but Tsunade twisted so she was just out of reach.

"How about you open the door and let me inside instead," she told him, waving the door key dangling on the end of one finger at him. "Then if you feel you're in a helpful mood you can put these away for me."

He needed no invitation – any way to suck up to her right now was welcome. In a trice he had the door open and was following her through, moving to begin emptying the bags immediately as Tsunade sat down at the kitchen table.

"So what brings on this…" the blonde woman waved a hand at the man puttering around her kitchen, at a loss for words to describe it. "Helpfulness?" she settled on, although it didn't quite do the situation justice.

"Nothing!" Minato replied quickly, keeping a wary eye on Tsunade's hand. He had seen it morph into a weapon of punishment in under a second – punishment that was usually doled out on Jiraiya. He had no desire to see it go into action on his own body. "I just wanted to…help." That word really didn't cut it.

"Hm." Golden eyes narrowed on the nervous man as he stacked fresh fruit in a bowl and began putting boxes away in cupboards. "You're sure there's not another reason to come by?"

"N-No reason." Damn that stutter.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Kushina, would it?" Minato winced as he dropped the box he had been holding, and didn't dare turn around.

"Maybe?"

"It's either a yes or a no, Minato, there's no in-between," Tsunade told him, exasperated. "What happened?"

"Nothing!" At least that wasn't a lie. "Nothing's wrong!"

"Then why are you here?"

He couldn't do it. He just couldn't. No matter how he willed his mouth to sound out the words, fear got the better of him. Fear of rejection, of losing his girlfriend, of pain, of…

"Minato." He blinked. For some reason he had gotten shorter, and Tsunade was snapping fingers in front of his eyes. "Minato." She raised her hand until it was level with her face. "Calm down." He was sitting on a chair. When had he gotten to the chair? "You spaced out and lost it. Why did you come here? It can't be that bad, right?"

His head felt light – probably from not getting enough oxygen when he was hyperventilating earlier. "Ah…I just…wanted to…ask your permission." Now that he had started, the words were easier to get out. "Your permission to marry Kushina."

The expression of pure bafflement on Tsunade's face was comical. "…What?"

"Well, you're her only living relative here," Minato rushed on, leaning forward in the chair – bad idea. Tsunade pushed him back by the shoulders. "So I thought I should at least ask you and get your blessing, to make sure it's alright to marry her."

From where she knelt next to the chair, Tsunade sat back on her heels and studied the man in front of her. Strong, protective, kind to a fault…and definitely handsome. In love with Kushina to the point of never seeing anyone else. Who was she to deny love? "Of course."

"You aren't going to hit me?"

"Why would I…?" A look at his face told her she didn't want to ask the question. "No. Now go find Kushina, and make her happy. You hear?" Since she was being related to Kushina now, she might as well make use of her position. "Or I really will track you down and give you a beating worse than any I gave Jiraiya." A deadly aura settled over the room.

Minato went instantly pale. He had been around for the pounding that had put Jiraiya in the hospital for six months. The point was made crystal clear. "Understood." He was surprised the word didn't come out as a squeak.

"Good!" Tsunade smiled at him, all sunshine. "Now scat! I have to practice acting all surprised when Kushina comes to tell me the news."


	216. Godparents

Another great idea from Star Josherson. A bit short, but enjoy.

* * *

Godparents

Kushina steepled her fingers in front of her mouth on the table. "We're settled on Jiraiya being Naruto's godfather?"

Minato nodded vigorously. "Sensei is a great choice. He's reliable, strong, has a great moral compass…" He trailed off as Kushina dissolved into a fit of giggles. "What?"

"Do we know the same guy?" she asked, one hand over her mouth to cover the grin there. "The one who gets beaten up repeatedly for peeking on the hot springs?"

"Ah…"

"Kushina, I'm hurt!" A blur came through their open window, landing neatly at the kitchen table. Jiraiya grinned at the couple, who simply looked exasperated. "Come on, I have tons of good sides!"

"That you exercise for more than a second you mean?" she quipped back, but grinned. "Now that you're here, you can help us choose his godmother."

"Oh?" The grin that came over the Sannin's face was nothing but glee. "Can she be hot?"

Minato rolled her eyes. "That's not a requirement, sensei."

"And why not? Shouldn't my co-god…person…" he stumbled over the exact terminology but waved it off, "be hot so I can appreciate her?"

"See? That's exactly what I'm talking about." Kushina cocked a finger at Jiraiya where he was lounging backwards in a chair, hands behind his head. "We need somebody able to keep _him_ in check."

"How about Tsunade-_sama_?"

_Crash_. All four legs of Jiraiya's chair were suddenly on the floor. "What? No! You can't be serious!"

"Why not? She's your teammate," Minato shot his sensei a look. "Don't tell me you're scared of her?"

"Of course not!" the Sannin blustered. "Why would I be scared of her? I just think…you should choose somebody else?" Again he leaned back on two legs.

"Oh?" Another voice came from the room behind Jiraiya and he spun around…to fall to the ground with his chair. It seemed to be the day for unexpected visitors. Tsunade sauntered into the room and looked down at Jiraiya, one hand on hip. "I didn't know you thought I wasn't hot, what with all the peeping you've been doing."

"Ah…" under Kushina and Tsunade's knowing gazes, he opened his mouth, shut it, and straightened the chair, settling back into it and deliberately avoiding everyone's eyes. "I still think it should be someone else."

"I actually agree with the pervert," Tsunade announced, snagging a chair of her own and sitting down opposite Minato and Kushina. "I'm not godmother material."

"But you would be able to keep him in line," Kushina protested, jerking a thumb at Jiraiya who scowled. "Just think, it would give you an excuse to beat him up any time."

"She does that anyway…" Jiraiya muttered, and Minato laughed.

"If you don't give her a reason, maybe she won't. And if we don't appoint a godmother, you could be stuck taking care of Naruto alone."

"I could handle it!"

Tsunade gave a full-throated laugh. "You could handle all diaper changings, baths, meals, and burping? Please. You can barely take care of yourself!"

"And I suppose you can?"

"Of course!"

"Then it's settled!" Kushina clapped her hands authoritatively. "You two will be the godparents!"

Tsunade leveled a finger at her teammate. "You better keep in line with the brat."

"You better not punch me!"

Minato shot mock glares at both of them. "You two had better not teach my son any bad habits!"

There was a pause after he said that, and all four adults dissolved into laughter. "Like that's gonna happen!"


	217. Doppleganger

A dare from Addster...may be a bit odd. ^^;

* * *

Doppleganger

Naruto sat against the tree, pondering. For once he was silent, and Jiraiya noticed it immediately as he approached the boy, lunch in hand. "Hey, gaki, what's up?" No response. "Ramen."

"Huh?" The blond boy shook his head, then focused on the man. "Food!"

"Ah, ah," Jiraiya held the boxes out of reach as Naruto leapt for them, and sent one pinning stare. "Talk first."

"Nothing!"

"I don't believe you." In a leap Jiraiya was above Naruto on the tree and opening one of the boxes, licking his lips. "I'm going to eat all of this in front of you until you talk." Blue puppy dog eyes stared up at him, but Jiraiya was unmoved. "Spill."

"…Fine." Pouting, Naruto crossed his arms and turned away. "I was wondering why I looked so much like _baa-chan_." He didn't look up as he said it. "Now can I have the food?" He reached up but Jiraiya was staring at the boy, mouth open and hand frozen halfway to his mouth.

"…What?" Jiraiya finally yelped, unconsciously setting both boxes down on the tree branch beside him. Naruto's eyes followed the food. "Why would you think you look like her?"

The blond stared at his mentor as though he was a dimwit. "Isn't it obvious?" No answer. Naruto rolled his eyes and braced both hands behind his head. "Same hair, same face. Lunch. Now."

Jiraiya remained staring at the boy, all food forgotten. Finally Naruto sighed. "I'll just go ask _baa-chan_." He walked up the tree and grabbed both boxes of food, then meandered down the path.

Jiraiya didn't even notice that the food was gone. "He thinks…he looks like her?"

* * *

Tsunade was working diligently – in appearance anyway – when Naruto walked into her office, spooning the last bits of rice from a box into his mouth.

"Naruto! What did I tell you about knocking!"

"Ah…that it's bad?" he responded, distracted. For some reason his eyes wouldn't leave her face.

"…Naruto?" Now Tsunade was just confused. "What are you doing?" Next to her there was a sudden puff of smoke and acting completely on instinct and honed reflexes her hand shot out, dispelling the clone just as it appeared. "Don't do that!"

He met her scowl with one of her own. "No, _you_ don't do that!"

"Listen, gaki, I won't have you speak to me that way!" Now she was more than pissed. In the blink of an eye she was out from behind her desk, paperwork forgotten, and holding Naruto up by the scruff of his jacket.

He had immediately cowered, flinching away from the expected punch. When it didn't immediately come, Naruto brought his hands together in a familiar sign and yet another cloud of smoke appeared. This time Tsunade didn't dispel it, having more warning.

Naruto's eyes darted between the clone and Tsunade, humming under his breath. "I knew I was right."

"Right about what, gaki?" More than a little impatient Tsunade shook the boy by the collar she still grasped, making him flop around like a puppet.

"I knew I looked like you! Oof!" She had dropped him in surprise.

"_What?"_

The blond sat up, rubbing his head with one hand. "You didn't have to drop me." He quailed under her fierce glare. "What?"

"What do you mean you look like me?"

"I look like you." He rolled his eyes. "Honestly _baa-chan_, you're slow today." A second later he was clutching his head with both hands instead of one. She was still looking at him, uncomprehending, and a bit…was that scared? "_Baa-chan_?"

"You don't look like me." Her voice was flat.

"Yeah I do! I can see it!"

"No you don't."

"Our hair is the same color, and our faces are the same…"

"You don't look like me!" She was shouting it now, moving forward and pushing him out the door. "Got it? Don't ever mention that again!" The door slammed behind him and Naruto was left out of the hall as Tsunade slumped against the other side.

He cocked his head, puzzled by her reaction. Why would it matter if he looked like her or not?


	218. Tangled Webs

Soooo...I'd never thought to make this into a 2parter. But then everyone who read it thought it would be...so here we go. Thanks to addster for the idea again.

I'm gonna be running up the East Coast early tomorrow morning trying to get ahead of Hurricane Irene. I'm also in the 'extreme danger' zone for it, so chances are - I'll lose power. If that happens, I'll keep writing stories, but it'll be a few days before I'm able to post them probably. Just as a heads up. For everyone else on the East Coast - stay safe. It's gonna be big.

* * *

Tangled Webs

On the other side of the door, Tsunade was panting, listening to Naruto walk away. No. There was no way he was _that _perceptive, no way he could find out. It was a secret, right? And secrets were meant to be kept. Not discovered by inquisitive little genin who thought they knew things!

No. She clenched her hands into fists, pushing away from the door and stalking around the room. He was just imagining things. After all, facial similarities didn't mean anything! It was the same as five people having blond hair and blue eyes; it didn't mean they were related.

As she spun on her heel, blonde hair flying out behind her from the speed, her thoughts turned again. What if he really did believe they were related? _What if he told somebody? _It could be disastrous.

The knock on the door had her spinning around in a crouch, fast enough she accidentally knocked into her desk. As she clutched her hip, cursing in pain, the door opened to admit Jiraiya.

"Do you know what Naruto's been thinking lately?" he asked idly, walking in with his hands laced behind his head. From her slightly crouched position Tsunade glared up at him. "He told me he came to visit you."

"Yeah?" she spit the word out as well as another curse and her hand over her hip glowed green, taking away the pain of the impact. Slowly the blonde woman straightened, testing her leg as she did so. "What of it?"

"Well, he told me he thought you two looked alike earlier, and I passed him in the halls leaving. He said you threw him out of the office when he mentioned it." Black eyes remained steady on the woman, cataloging her every move and expression.

Tsunade refused to meet his gaze, averting her own eyes. "What of it? I can do what I please in my own office." Her fingers twitched, and she crossed her arms.

"I thought it might have some significance to you."

"None."

_Liar_. He had noticed the way her eyes flickered, and the way her whole body was tensed. As a spymaster he was trained to notice those little nuances. "What, is he actually related to you?"

"_No!"_

"He is, isn't he!" Jiraiya's voice began to rise higher, and his eyes widened in incredulity. "He looks like you; he's truly related to you! What is he your son or something? Did sensei lie about his parents? Is this whole thing a sham!" His hands were woven into his hair, grasping the white strands tightly. "How could you keep this from me? I'm supposed to be your teammate!"

"He's not my son!" Tsunade roared over the man's frantic torrent. "I don't know where you got _that_ idea, but forget it right now!" She sighed, running a hand over her face. "Calm down." She waited until Jiraiya had stopped panting, and simply stared at her. Slowly his arms fell to his sides. "You are going to walk out that door, get Naruto, and send him in. Then you are going to walk far far away from this office; I will break every single bone in your body if I find you eavesdropping, you hear?"

Jiraiya nodded furiously and followed her pointing finger out of Tsunade's office.

Again the blonde woman sighed and dropped into the chair behind her desk, resting her head in her hands. _What a tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive_. Maybe it wasn't the best quote to fit her situation, but whatever web she had was certainly coming undone quickly. From being the only person left alive knowing the secret, she was about to let another person in.

"_Baa-chan_?" Naruto poked his head around the door cautiously, keeping a wary eye for any hands ready to grab him. "_Ero-sennin_ said you were calling for me."

"Yeah." Separating her fingers just slightly so she could peer through the gaps, Tsunade told him "Sit."

Without backtalk Naruto obeyed, keeping his eyes locked on Tsunade's. "What is it?"

"You said we looked similar." It was a statement, not a question. Naruto nodded mutely, a bit confused by her sudden change of demeanor. "We are."

"Nani?" he screeched, shooting up and pointing a quivering finger at her. "We are? Does that mean we're actually related?"

"Keep your voice down, gaki!" she barked, giving him a death glare. "You want the whole village to know?" Sucking in a deep breath, Tsunade continued. "We're related. I'm your grandmother."

"But…but…" he was at a loss for words, standing there and staring blankly. "How?"

"That's long, complicated, and for another time. The reasons behind it as well. You aren't ready to know them yet." The Hokage heaved a long sigh, feeling more tired than she had in years. "Just know that we're family, no matter how screwed up it is. And," she regained a flash of vigor, "if you tell _anyone_ about this, you're dead meat, grandson or no! Understood?"

Furious nodding with a wide grin answered her.


	219. For What Reason

Ahhh...long. And a bit 'explanation-y' towards the end. But I hope it's at least interesting. =) I really didn't have any intention on taking this past the first one, two drabbles ago...but then you all wanted sequels, so here's part three. I don't _think_ it can be continued any more. ^^; Again thanks to Addster for the idea, without you I'd probably be very very lost.

Also - this chapter marks my 200,000 word mark! *Does a dance and huge squeal of joy* I may actually make this past 300,000 words eventually...now _that's_ a scary thought. I dispersed with all italics...it just got too confusing to do endings...all other randomness aside, enjoy!

* * *

For What Reason

When Tsunade's eyes opened, the first thing she was aware of was pain. Pain radiating from her joints, her head, her entire body. The second was how loose her clothes seemed to fit. An involuntary groan slipped from her lips, and immediately a face hovered over her own. "Tsunade-sama!"

The blonde woman's head turned to the side, trying to see where she was. Brown canvas met her gaze, as well as the knees of her apprentice. "Sakura…" her voice was a croak. "What happened?"

The pinkette didn't meet Tsunade's eyes when she turned her head back. "You expended all your chakra trying to save the villagers, shishou. You've been in a coma for the past three weeks."

"And Konoha?" There was fear in her tone, fear for the village she had been trying to protect, and the people in it.

"Naruto came back and saved us. He convinced Pein to return every soul he took in his attack; we didn't lose a single person. Danzou took over the office of Hokage due to your…inability."

Tsunade shifted her elbows behind her and began to prop her upper body in preparation to sitting up. Once again she noticed how sharp the bones seemed to be, and an unusual looseness in her shirt. _The first thing to fix will be getting my chakra back,_ she thought darkly. _I refuse to show my true appearance. _"Sakura!" she barked, already beginning to feel like her old self. "Bring me food. Lots of it."

When Naruto came in later that day, Tsunade had just wolfed down a table full of dishes, and had regained her figure, much to her relief. Never before had she been so thankful for the creation of her jutsu to keep her looking young.

"Baa-chan?" She looked up at his voice as he ducked through the flap. "You're awake now?"

"Yeah." Just seeing him set off the spark of memory.

_It was a month after she had told Naruto about their relation before he came barging back. She hadn't seen him the whole time – not even for mission debriefings. Somehow she got the feeling he was avoiding her._

_"Why did you keep it from me?" His face was blank but she could sense the rage simmering under the surface. Apparently he hadn't been able to keep it at bay, and curiosity and fury had gotten the better of him. "An even better question: Where were you?"_

_"Naruto…" _

_"No. Don't speak." Tsunade closed her mouth, regarding the boy with level eyes. "Where were you when I was a child? Where were you when I was being chased around the village, hated by all? Why did I have to go and **fetch** you? Forget me, what about my parents! You say you're my grandmother…why weren't you with them? Who were they? Why won't you tell me anything!" By the end of his rant Naruto's fists were clenched until his knuckles were white, and his blue eyes burning fiercely. Tsunade was almost sure she saw small tremors shaking his body._

_"There's no easy answer. You can't accept my reasons, and I cannot justify them. And you can't know yet." She folded her hands on the desk in front of her to hide her own trembling. "I wasn't here. Maybe someday I'll tell you, but for now, my reasons remain unknown."_

_He glared at her, eyes turning ice blue. "When you decide to share, I'll think about listening." Whirling on the ball of one foot he left the office, leaving a distinct frozen feeling in his wake. Tsunade couldn't stop her own trembling. It wasn't time yet._

"So close…" she mumbled, eyeing the tall blond's form as he stood in front of her. "So close, and so little time."

"Baa-chan, what are you going on about?"

"I should tell you…I have to tell you. It was too close." Drawing in a deep breath, Tsunade looked up – and up – at Naruto. "Sit down, will you? My neck is going to cramp." With a low laugh the blond sat cross-legged next to the Hokage. "I couldn't tell you before…anything. But if I had died, everything would have died with me. You deserve to know." She still felt the chill from how close she had come to death; if she had never woken up, yet another lineage would have been lost forever.

"You're finally going to tell me how you're my grandmother? Why you left?" His voice dropped for the last question. "Why you weren't here?"

"…Yes." She eyed the bowls of food in front of her, looking for any more morsels, but found none. Polishing the plates really didn't leave anything. "Sakura told me you discovered who your parents were. So you know Kushina came from Ushio; Minato was my son." Silence from the boy next to her. "I was nineteen when I became pregnant with him; no," she held up a hand as Naruto opened his mouth, "don't ask who the father was. That's a secret I'll take with me to the grave." Both winced at the unintended implication. "I never intended to have a kid, let alone in the middle of my jounin years. I couldn't take care of and raise a baby."

"You could have tried. You could have kept him! Everything would be so different…"

"I wasn't ready to give up the life I had worked so hard for to start a different one." Regret laced her voice. "If I had the choice now, would I? I still don't know. But I hid it from almost everyone – only sensei and a couple others knew; Jiraiya didn't, I made sure he never knew. And when Minato was born, I gave him to one of my former patients to raise as her own, Namikaze Keiko. She promised to take good care of him, and I thought I was leaving him in good hands."

"But…Dad said he was an orphan." Naruto was confused, hands twisting unconsciously in Tsunade's blanket as he listened to the story. "How did he…"

"Keiko died a year after she adopted Minato. He went to the orphanage, and there was nothing I could do for him without revealing my ties. I left him anonymous presents on his birthdays, made sure he was enrolled in the Academy…but mostly I stayed away. I traveled for a few years, learning techniques, coming back to Konoha every now and again. Jiraiya took Minato for his student when he turned twelve, so I got to know my son then, without anyone the wiser." Her eyes took on a misty glow. "He was smart, funny, a bit hyperactive just like you, but he could be calm when he needed to be. And he was powerful. I was proud to have him as my son…even if he couldn't know it.

"He guessed, you know, just as you did. He asked me flat out once if we were related, but I just laughed him off. Said no way would I be related to such a smartass brat. He didn't ask again, but I don't think he ever really let go of the idea. I left a few years before he married Kushina and then the Kyuubi. I only heard of you through rumors. Sensei couldn't track me down to tell me, so I was never sure if you were real or not. I couldn't go back to Konoha for a fairytale, not after it had killed my son." Those words still felt strange in her mouth; she had never had occasion to use them before this. "Then you came to bring me back, and you know the rest." Tsunade broke the spell by clapping her hands sharply and letting out a little laugh. "It sounds like a nice neat package now, doesn't it? But it's still a mess really."

"I still don't like your reasons…" Naruto scowled at his grandmother, blue eyes narrowed. Apprehension took over her face as she waited for his rejection, just as he had before. "But I can understand them. You've lost a lot of time, but you better not waste the rest of it!" His frown morphed into a wide grin and he launched himself forward, more like a six year old child then a sixteen year old savior, bowling her over.

"N-Naruto! I just woke up! I'm not healed! Naruto!"


	220. Related

Wellll - I thought it was done, but it wasn't! Addster thought up one more idea off of this...so here is a prequel. No Naruto, just Minato. It's kind of like snapshots this one.

I fully expect to lose power tomorrow (already been having power flickers) - but I'll count myself very lucky if I don't. So if there's no drabble...you know what happened.

* * *

Related

Tsunade looked through the window, trying not to find him…not to…no. Her eyes were drawn to the one crib, the child with a shock of blond hair mirroring her own. She wouldn't cave. She gave him up; he'd be much better off without her, and she had a career to continue. No time to settle down with a kid. No time at all. Resolutely she turned away from the window, arms crossed over her ribcage defensively. It wasn't like it was a hard decision, just the logical one. At least, that's what she told herself. So when Keiko went into the room and picked up the boy happily, that feeling surging up in her chest was _not_ jealousy.

* * *

She was moving through the streets holding bags of groceries – her pantry was absurdly desolate since she had cleaned it out before her latest long mission – when a little blond urchin ran past, bumping into her leg and turning around to shout a quick 'Sorry!' at her. She barely recognized him as the toddler that had gone into the orphanage four years ago. His hair had grown out and flopped around his face a bit comically, and he was certainly faster.

It was the blue eyes that pinned her, letting her know exactly who he was. She honestly didn't know where he had gotten them from – no one in _her_ family had them – but they were easily recognizable. With a shake of her head and a smile Tsunade continued down the street, keeping a mental picture of the boy in front of her eyes. He had certainly grown a lot.

The next day she made sure to loiter near the orphanage, absentmindedly buying a stick of dango from a shopkeeper. The children were running around the front, and Minato was one of the faster. From what she could make out, they were playing a game of 'Ninja', and he was winning. One of the bigger boys made to trip him as he ran past, and Tsunade involuntarily flinched, but Minato easily jumped the foot and continued on his way, heading towards his next target. He would make a good shinobi.

* * *

She had never gotten close enough to the boy to find out his personality; that is, until Jiraiya took him for an apprentice. Suddenly her teammate was clamoring for her to get to know Minato, to help them out with a few training exercises, come to lunch with the two of them. She couldn't help but like the sunny kid; happy most of the time, but always serious and focused while training. He was very intelligent, something she thought was excellent – until it was turned on her.

"Tsunade-san." She had broken him of calling her 'sama' with a few well timed punches to the head.

"Yeah, gaki?"

"We look alike." Somehow that one statement floored her. He wasn't supposed to figure anything out.

"So?" Stretched out languidly on the grass behind her, arms going behind her head. "About a quarter of Konoha looks alike. What's your point?"

"Are we related?" Damn it, why did he have to start getting inquisitive _now_? Couldn't he wait maybe twenty years, when she had finally thought up a plausible story?

"Us? Related?" She let out a bark of a laugh, eyes not leaving the sky in front of her. "Don't be absurd. Why would I want to be related to a smart ass brat like you?"

"There are few people in Konoha with blonde hair, outside the Yamanaka Clan," he continued unperturbed. "The likelihood of us being related due to demographics is quite high."

Tsunade let out a gusty sigh, feeling her chest inflate and deflate with the sound. "Look, kid. The Senju Clan ends with me, I'll tell you that right now. There's no way you're related to me, so get that idea out of your head. Got it? You're just another brat from the system; no parents, no clan."

Only silence answered her, but somehow she didn't think she had done quite a good enough job of arguing her point.

* * *

Tsunade left the village when he was a teenager, unable to bear staying in the blasted place of her birth one second longer. She'd seen him grow up – mostly – through those impressionable years, and knew him to be a strong man. Strong enough to take whatever the village threw at him. Stronger than her. He would survive it. He would survive anything.

Jiraiya managed to send her a note when Minato became the Hokage, boasting to her that he was finally the sensei of a Hokage and the student of another. What an idiot. She knew he didn't know what his note meant to her, but the warm feeling in her chest certainly wasn't from the sake in front of her.

She heard of the death of the Yondaime Hokage through word of mouth, whispers and mutters that the most powerful man Konoha had seen in years was dead. She promptly went out and got drunker than she thought was possible, suppressing the memories. Despite that, a pair of bright blue eyes remained etched into her memories, watching her in her own mind.


	221. Children

So this is a kind-of continuation of chater 216. Jiraiya and Tsunade are Naruto's godparents...and what a spectacular job of it they do.

* * *

Children

How had they gotten roped into this mess? Tsunade wondered that as she stared down at the child giggling and drawing all over a very bemused Jiraiya. A three year old. Somehow a three year old had two adults running in circles trying to maintain sanity – and failing.

It all started when Kushina and Minato had _dumped_ Naruto on the two Sannin, claiming that if they were the godparents and took every opportunity to spoil the boy they should reap some of the reward as well. Rewards? Yeah right. Tsunade was _sure_ the kid's parents had plied him with candy before dropping him off, because the blond hadn't stopped running around for the first hour.

Jiraiya took that as a fun challenge, chasing Naruto around and around as the boy squealed with glee, and Tsunade was glad to just relax and let him do the work while she sat on the couch and laughed. Except then they had gotten it into their heads to play hide and go seek.

"Seventy-eight...seventy-nine…eighty!" Jiraiya called out, hands over his face to cover his eyes. Tsunade had obediently turned away from the doorways at Naruto's insistence, although she kept an ear out for pattering footsteps. Finding him would be easy with their skills, after all. Except she hadn't heard any for the past half a minute, making the woman think Naruto had finally found a hiding place.

"I'll find the kid easily," the white haired man proclaimed, shooting a grin at Tsunade. "Just you watch. Five minutes, tops." She only rolled her eyes in response. For the past three years he had continued to try to impress her in the stupidest ways – although they were always a bit comical.

It was ten minutes gone by before he returned, a slightly panicked expression on his face. "I can't find him, _anywhere_. Do you have any idea what Minato will do to me if I tell him I lost his son?"

"What do you mean you can't find him? He can't have gone far." Tsunade pushed herself off the couch, brushing blonde hair out of her eyes. "He's only three Jiraiya."

"You think I don't know that? You find him, if you're so certain."

"I will." But she couldn't find the brat anywhere either. Not behind curtains, under the stairs, behind doors, or even in the nooks and crannies of the cabinets in the kitchen. He had no chakra signal to hone in on as of yet, which only made it harder. "Naruto!" No answer. "Naruto! You win! You can come out now!" Not a single giggle or rustle to give away his presence. Now she was feeling the same mild panic as Jiraiya.

"You take upstairs, I'll take the basement," Jiraiya commanded, black eyes direct. "He couldn't get out the doors or windows, they're locked tight."

She nodded assent and scaled the stairs quickly, peeking into all the dark corners a boy would love to sneak into to hide. No luck. She could tell Jiraiya wasn't have any either from the curses echoing through the house. Honestly, where could the boy have _gone_?

When they met up in the main room both were past the 'mild panic' stage. The Yondaime Hokage was a very laid back person in general…but when it came to his son, there was not a more protective father. Not to say anything of Kushina. Hell hath no fury like a mother protecting her child. Even from his godparents.

"Katsuyu?" Eyes wide, Tsunade proposed the last resort to her teammate.

He nodded grimly. "The only way."

She ran through the hand seals quickly, adding the variation that would allow her to summon Katsuyu in a smaller form than normal – a handy ability that made her perfect for the job the two Sannin required. Had Jiraiya attempted to summon Gamabunta the house would be ripped apart by his bulk. "Tsunade-sama? What do you require?" Katsuyu's soft voice issued from the floor in front of her, and Tsunade let out a sigh of relief.

"We need to ask you to search the house. You know Naruto?" The blue and white slug gave a gentle nod. "We need to find him."

"Hai, Tsunade-sama." No questions asked, yet another marvelous thing about her summons. Gamabunta would have been likely to refuse just on the premise of a search. Katsuyu's body split apart into many smaller replicas of herself, each of whom began to crawl to different parts of the domicile. One remained in the main room with the two Sannin – Tsunade picking at one of her pigtails for split ends, and Jiraiya pacing the room around and around, muttering under his breath how they were _never_ going to tell Minato about this.

A tense few minutes passed before Katsuyu announced "I found him."

"Where?" Jiraiya spun on his heel, eyes pinning the summons where she perched on Tsunade's shoulder.

"Under the bed in the guest room."

Two swishes and both Sannin stood in front of the bed, Jiraiya crouching down and peering under the furniture. Sure enough, there was a curled up ball in the back corner, hidden by the darkness. He could barely make out the blond hair. With careful arms he reached under the bed, getting a hold first on the boy's arm, then his leg, then his torso, and drawing him out. With him came a magazine and a bottle, clutched in two tight hands.

Tsunade pried the magazine from the sleeping boy's hand, flicking through it, then stared up at Jiraiya. "Care to explain why you have this…trash…hidden in my house?" Her voice was deceptively calm, but her amber eyes were snapping.

Jiraiya rolled his own, hoisting Naruto up onto his shoulder and picking the bottle out from his other hand. "And you're so innocent, having sake bottles where toddlers can reach them?"

For a minute the two engaged in a staring contest, the Tsunade broke it with a sigh. "He fell asleep? Typical." For all the worry he had put them through, Naruto looked like an angel where he rested on Jiraiya's shoulder, one arm unconsciously wrapping around the man's neck. "We're going to have to wake him up though, he already had a nap."

"You do it." Jiraiya was generosity itself, holding the boy out to her.

"Not a chance! You know he'll be cranky when he wakes up." She stuck both hands behind her back, refusing to take Naruto from him. "And you're the godfather. You get to deal with playing with him and everything!"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Does so!"

"Ramen?" a sleepy voice interrupted the childish bickering and two heads snapped towards the blond boy, who blinked at them. "Please?"

"It's not dinner time yet, Naru-chan," Tsunade answered the boy. "How about we go downstairs and play instead?"

"'Kay."

So they had given him a set of colored markers – but lacking paper, were forced to come up with a different canvas. Also known as Jiraiya. Children. She rolled her eyes at the very thought. Minato and Kushina were welcome to their little hellion. A few more scares like that and she would be relying on her perpetual genjutsu for more than just hiding her age – behind it, her hair would be as white as Jiraiya's.


	222. Typical Day Training

For Ella Unlimited, a Tenten fic.

* * *

Typical Day Training

Tenten sighed as she nodded off yet again. Resting under the tree during breaks between training was just a bit too comfortable, and she couldn't keep her eyelids from drooping. The steady thwack of Neji's hands made a soothing rhythm as he refused to stop training for even an instant.

All was peaceful, and quiet, and – "_Tenten-san!"_ Damn it, she was pretty sure she had just gone deaf.

"What is it Lee?" She didn't even open her eyes, but without looking she just knew he was kneeling next to her, staring at her with puppy dog eyes and fists clenched.

"Tenten-san, you should not be wasting this magnificent time! Just look at Neji-san, with his exuberance! He knows the true meaning of youth!" The sounds of Neji's hits paused for a second, then resumed just the tiniest bit faster – not that he would admit to being fazed by their teammate.

"Lee…" No doubt this attempt would be wasted, but it was a token effort. "I'm just taking a break. You know, something people do when they don't have enough stamina to keep training." A foreign concept to the boy.

"But Tenten-san, if only you push yourself, you can exceed those boundaries!" Now he would no doubt have tears streaming down his face – tears of passion, in his own words. Only Lee – or Gai – would get so passionate over taking breaks. Or rather, _not_ taking them. "I will show you!"

No. Dear god, no. Tenten shot up, one hand extended to stop it…too late. "I shall do five hundred pushup! And if I cannot complete those I shall do seven hundred kicks! And if I cannot complete those…"

"Lee, this is supposed to be sparring training!" Tenten interrupted, trying to catch his attention. Lee could go on all day about how he would next train his body and his dedication to completion. At least he hadn't started waxing poetical yet.

"Yes Lee, you must show your teammate your unfailing youth in sparring!" Gai-sensei proclaimed, appearing out of nowhere. "Ah, Neji-san, your dedication is impressive!" The brunette didn't acknowledge his teacher's compliment, just kept hitting away at the training post in the same steady rhythm.

"Sensei, if it's all the same, I'd like to spar with Neji to practice my aim…" Tenten broke in. Lee looked heartbroken. "And Lee can train with you instead!" Aaaand the puppy love was back.

"Gai-sensei! That is an excellent idea! I can further improve my taijutsu skills against such a master as you!"

"Lee! You have progressed far already, my wonderful student!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Oh for crying out loud..." Tenten turned away from the sight of the two hugging and crying – as well as that _ridiculous_ sunset behind them: did they have a genjutsu specialist on call or something? – to face Neji. "It looks like we're partnered."

No answer.

"_Neji_."

"Hn." Descriptive as always. At least he'd heard her. After thirty seven more hits – not that she was counting or anything – he stopped, wiping sweat from his face with the towel around his neck. "When you are ready."

Always matter of fact, cool, calm, and collected…it made her bristle with rage inside. Just _once_ she wanted him to be out of sorts. _Just once_. With that thought in mind she launched into her attack, shuriken appearing between her fingers and flying towards the Hyuuga. With grace, he danced aside, the projectiles passing him by harmlessly. Then he was inside her guard, striking at her limbs.

With a backflip Tenten moved away, completing it with a handspring from which she released some kunai at the apex of her jump to discourage Neji from following. He moved forward, a kunai of his own coming out to deflect her weapons, only to lean back evasively from the swing of the sword she had just summoned. She wasn't a weapons mistress for nothing.

A kunai in one hand, the other open palm to perform his family's signature style, Neji waited for just the right opening as Tenten struck at him again and again. Deflect, deflect, dodge, there! The kunai moved to block the blade as his other hand tapped the inside of her elbow, and the sword dropped.

She had expected that and with _her _free hand swung down a bo staff, catching Neji across the chest with it and forcing him back once again. The whole sequence took barely ten seconds. Both eyed the other warily, waiting for the first move to be made.

Tenten was proud of herself. There was actually a bit of color to Neji's cheeks, a slight hitch to his breath. He didn't seem so stoic anymore. With renewed vigor she charged in, bo staff swinging first at his legs, then up at his chest, around behind his head, forcing him to duck and weave. But she also required it to block his hands as they aimed for the points on her body that would end the fight. One fingertip grazed her thigh and suddenly her right leg buckled. _No._ _She would_ _not lose to him. _But it seemed the match was over. Neji stood back with an impassive expression on his face.

"You have been incapacitated. Such a situation in battle would be death."

No shit Sherlock. She didn't need him telling her that. But she could still move her arms. In one fluid motion her bo staff lashed out, and even as he stepped out of its easily, she rolled to her feet and smashed into him, laying the Hyuuga out on the ground.

"You may have won the battle but I just won the war," she smirked as the wooden pole disappeared.

"Such a move would be impossible in a real battle as you would be dead before it could be enacted," he responded calmly, pale eyes looking up at the sky. "It is irrelevant."

_Argh_, wouldn't he stop? That wasn't the _point!_ Gai and Lee were off in their own little world, so it wasn't as though she could ask them for help, and getting into a battle of words with Neji was just asking to be put down. "Whatever," she groused, picking up her sword from where it had been dropped. She could already move both limbs easily, as he aimed for temporary paralysis in sparring.

"Hn." Thwack, thwack, thwack. Already he was back to his solitary training.

"One day…" Tenten mumbled under her breath, heading over to where the other half of her team was. "One day he'll learn to take that stick out of his ass."


	223. Storytime

Dare by Ella Unlimited. Hope you like it!

So I moved back to college today...and my room is twice as big as last year's room was! *Woot!* Things are starting off great (minus the homework before I've met the teacher), and classes begin tomorrow!

* * *

Storytime

"Daddy, daddy! You promised!" Naruto looked, bemused, at the little girl tugging insistently on his sleeve – despite how far above her head it was.

"What did I promise?" he asked the air in front of him quizzically. "Hinata, do you know?"

His wife hid a smile. "I haven't the slightest idea," she told him, offhand. "But I think Kenji may know."

"Me?" the eldest boy placed an affected hand to his chest. "How on earth would I know what Father promised? I'm sure Keito overheard it though."

The second eldest boy looked up from the book he was reading quietly in the corner. "Father is good at keeping secrets, you know that. I was reading. If anyone listened, it would be Hiroto."

"Yeah right! Dad! I don't know! Tell them!" The eight year old was bouncing up and down on the couch; at least, until Hinata shot a look at him and he stopped instantly. "What about Jiro?"

The six year old simply shook his head mutely and didn't look up from his blocks.

Satomi rolled her eyes and stamped her foot authoritatively as only a four year old can, fed up with the roundabout game the family played each time. "Daddy! You know what it is! You _promised_!"

"Well maybe you should remind me," he told her, sweeping his youngest child and only daughter up into his arms. "Just so I can make sure."

"You promised you'd tell me a story tonight!"

"Why yes I do recall saying something like that now," Naruto grinned, brushing a kiss across her cheek and heading down the hallway to her room. "So, what story will it be? The Prince and the Dragon? Three Little Bears? Samurai Toyo?" He plopped her down on the bed and let her bounce a little.

"No! The team!"

"Team? What team?" He feigned confusion again and grinned internally as Satomi sent him a pout/glare. It didn't have the desired effect yet. "Oh, my team?"

A vigorous nod as she slipped under the covers and looked at him expectantly.

"Well, it all started with a lazy, late, man…"

Forty-five minutes into his story Naruto looked over at his daughter and saw her eyes were closed, one hand resting close to her cheek. She was fast asleep.

With a fond smile he leaned forward, brushing a hand over her forehead. "Good night, Satomi." With all his shinobi stealth he left the room, flicking the light off and closing the door noiselessly.

Hinata was waiting for him in the hall, a small smile of her own adorning her face. "Is she asleep?"

"Of course. I think I bored her to sleep," Naruto chuckled, slipping an arm around his wife's waist and leading her back towards the main room where they could talk louder.

"I doubt it, since she keeps asking for the same story," Hinata replied, straightening a pillow before sitting down with a sigh of relief. "It amazes her."

"It amazes me how far we've all come." His voice took on a somber, more thoughtful, tone. "From three snot nosed genin to the Sannins' pupils, to…what are we now?"

"The village heroes, all of you."

"I suppose. Sakura is the village's leading medical expert now…and Sasuke is the ANBU captain. They really brought themselves up."

"And you're the village's greatest hero, the one who brought peace through sheer determination."

Naruto rolled his eyes but accepted the praise. "Back on our first mission we had no idea what we were up against with Zabuza, and we charged in without a thought. We were so tired of D rank missions. Then there was the Chuunin Exams, and you tried to help me cheat," he nudged her playfully, "and I passed anyway. Then Sasuke defected…and I swore to keep getting stronger so I could bring him back. And I did." He couldn't stop the smirk spreading across his face. "Kicking and screaming."

"And now you're the best of friends." In a manner of speaking anyway. The two rivals continued to challenge each other every time their eyes met. She had lost count of the amount of buildings that had to be rebuilt. They split the cost for each one, and Sakura beat both up then healed them for their stupidity.

"Yeah, whatever you say," Naruto laughed. "Sakura begs to differ."

Hinata relaxed back on the couch next to her husband. "She knows you both too well."


	224. Two Sides

Point one - Math programming s_ucks._ Point two - I have no class tomorrow!

I got this idea from Addster and her story about the women (moms) of Narutoverse - You should go read it! Anyway, she didn't want it, so I decided to write it =)

* * *

Two Sides

It was a side of her personality nobody knew about – especially not her husband and daughter.

She examined the charges one more time, looking for one line out of place. She was far from a sealing expert, but one tended to pick techniques up from one's friends, as well as general knowledge. Everything looked to be in place. Time for the test.

She placed them flat on the surface of the abandoned building, feeling her chakra build within her body as she summoned it, shaping it just right. It was like a warm glow within her, the power she hadn't been able to use openly for most of her life – fit only to marry into a high ranking clan and bear heirs. Well what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them. Or would it?

With a pulse, she released her chakra in a wave to ignite each tag on the roof. They set off a chain reaction, activating others down the sides, along the walls, across the floor. It wasn't meant to be an immediate burn, but rather a slow, delayed one – like herself. There were no passersby, she had made sure of that.

She could feel the glee building up inside at the raging inferno she knew would be unleashed for two minutes exactly. Long enough to get attention, but not enough to harm anything close by. And when it was over the building would be as though it had never existed.

She felt her heart jump just as the first spark appeared, winding its way along the pathway of tags, growing…growing…it was a small blaze now. Then between one second and the next fire roared out of each tag she had carefully formatted, burning into wooden joists and shingles as though they were paper. Already there were shouts of alarm.

The masked woman remained like a statue where she was perched opposite the building, knowing they would see her soon, when their attention was drawn from the building. She watched the merry flames, feeling her soul soaring with them. _This_ was how it was meant to be, _this_ was her freedom from the cage. Fire consumed all; it knew no boundaries unless carefully shaped by one who could control it. And she had that power. It was intoxicating.

Two minutes, two glorious minutes, passed all too soon. And as they looked around for the arsonist, the villagers spotted her. "It's the Inferno! Get them!" Nobody knew her gender, her name, her face. Always covered by a mask, bound tight, hair hidden. Just as shinobi began to appear on the scene, drawn to the disturbance a tad too late – her husband among them – she gave a two fingered jaunty salute and disappeared.

She could hear the yells behind her, but she was already long gone.

Her hideaway was half a mile from the house, her place to store her outfit well into the trees and don the innocuous clothes of a housewife and mother. Then with a single hand seal she was in her bedroom and walked out as though she had merely been cleaning. The cloud of smoke left behind by her clone vanished.

"Okaa-san!"

She smiled down at her daughter as the girl ran up to her. "Yes?" It was time to step back into her role as the wife of a prominent clan leader and mother to the heiress.

Nobody knew.


	225. Muck

Don't ask. Just...don't...ask. ^^;

* * *

Muck

Stomp. Stomp. Splash.

Stomp. Splash. Stomp. Stomp.

Stomp. Splash. Sp-

"Would you _stop _it?" Tsunade finally snarled, irritated beyond all reason. Her unrepentant teammate simply grinned at her and began bringing his foot down towards the puddle once more…only to be knocked away from it and into a larger one by a violent gust of wind.

"Teme! What gives!" The white haired boy emerged soaking wet, glaring daggers at the other male on the team.

Orochimaru simply blinked. "Tsunade asked you to stop. And you annoyed me."

"That didn't mean you had to blow me over!"

"You should have dodged."

Tsunade tuned them out, tapping her fingers on the wall beside her to a rhythm only she could hear. They were like brothers – annoying ones. She hoped Nawaki didn't end up like them, or no doubt he would have some serious concussions before he made it to his teenage years.

As the two bickering boys began to pick up the volume – Jiraiya being the only one who could agitate Orochimaru it seemed – her fingers moved faster and faster, until she was unconsciously pushing chakra into each digit. The wall began to crack a little…then a little more…until the whole block next to her crumbled into gravel.

It went unnoticed by both boys.

"A puddle is a perfectly respectable place to have a party!"

"Not if all the people will be drinking is pond slop!"

What?

"We can have the mud caterpillar, and a water conga line!"

"And nobody would want to eat mud pancakes!"

The blonde girl decided she really didn't want to know what the two were talking about, but they were annoying her. "Shut up!"

Of course it went unnoticed as Jiraiya got up in Orochimaru's face, challenging him. "I bet you're just scared!"

The raven scoffed. "Scared of what?"

"Scared of getting dirty!"

"I'm a shinobi, dirt is part of life."

"I haven't seen you covered in mud ever!" Jiraiya paused, and considered the validity of his statement. "I really haven't!"

Tsunade paused just as she was about to punch the ground demonstratively to get her teammates to stop arguing pointlessly to consider Jiraiya's statement as well. Come to think of it the worst she had seen Orochimaru dirt-wise was when they had a D-rank mission to clean up a farm and he had been stuck with the pigs. Not ten minutes after getting back to the village he had been squeaky clean as well.

"I…" for some reason Orochimaru didn't have a smart comeback for once, his cheeks turning faint pink as he looked away. "What does that matter?"

"Teme is afraid of being dirty!" Jiraiya crowed, pointing a quivering finger at the raven.

"I am not afraid!" the pale boy shot back, glaring daggers at his uncouth teammate. "I just don't like it!"

"Oh? Then you won't scream if I do this!" Jiraiya scooped up a handful of muck from the puddle next to him and lobbed it with unerring accuracy at Orochimaru. Or what would have been unerring if the raven hadn't dodged to the side.

Instead the glob hit Tsunade.

"You'll pay for that!" she screeched, shooting off the bench as the mud slipped down her clothes. Two handfuls of mud plastered themselves across Jiraiya's face.

He spat out the gritty muck and glared right back. "Flat-chest, no fair!" Another handful went into his mouth.

To the side – still clean – Orochimaru laughed at his two teammates as they began a mud fight, each determined to get the other the dirtiest. "You two are pathetic."

Tsunade and Jiraiya stopped and looked at each other, then gave simultaneous grins. Tsunade bent down and scooped up another handful and made to lob it at Jiraiya – just as the white-haired boy turned and threw _his_ muck at the unsuspecting Orochimaru. It hit head on.

The brown sludge slid down Orochimaru's face and hair and his features contorted in disgust. "Eurgh! That's disgusting!" Then he shuddered and turned away without another word, running down the street. Two more balls of mud plastered themselves to his back but he didn't stop.

The muck covered duo in the puddle turned and gave each other high-fives. "That'll show him!"

Then the mud war began again.


	226. Lovers and Rainbows

Thanks to Star for the original idea!

This started to feel like a crack-fic about a third of the way through...I blame college!

* * *

Lovers and Rainbows

"It was this way, teme!" Jiraiya pointed through the strands of trees in front of them, all covered in fragrant new foliage.

"No, it was most definitely this way!" Orochimaru pointed a finger in the opposite direction – which looked exactly the same. Trees surrounded the team as they stood in a circle in the forest, all nearly identical.

"Look, teme, just because you have things all screwy in that little head of yours doesn't mean I don't know how to read a map!"

"The map you conveniently tore in half and lost in the stream?" Orochimaru arched an eyebrow at Jiraiya, who folded his arms and grunted in response. "Are you telling me that was deliberate?"

"N-No! But it wasn't my fault! You pushed me in!"

"I'm not a Nara – I can't control where your feet go."

Standing a bit behind the two males Tsunade pointedly ignored the argument, attempting to read a crudely written series of instructions, given to them with the map. They were illegible and completely useless.

"Hike three miles up the rainbow? Cross the bridged pike gap?" She squinted at a word halfway down the page. "Water bottle?" With a sound of disgust she crumpled the paper in one fist. "Someone was drunk when they wrote these. Oi, morons!" Her two teammates ignored her. "Stop bickering like lovers for a moment and listen up!"

_That_ got their attention. Both turned slowly towards her, Jiraiya's mouth dropping open. "I'm not –!"

"He's not…" Orochimaru began at the same time, apparently unable to finish the thought.

"Ewwww." Both gave simultaneous shudders.

"How can you even think like that? That's plain disturbing!" Jiraiya hadn't stopped staring at her, a look of complete disgust on his features. "Him? Ewwww." Another shudder.

"Aw, you're in denial how cute." Tsunade rolled her eyes as garbled choking sounds emitted from Jiraiya's throat. Orochimaru was staring off into space. "I think I broke him." She was unrepentant.

"Well it's his fault for getting us lost anyway," Jiraiya groused, crossing his arms once more as he looked at the raven standing stock still. "If his stupid snake hadn't tripped me we'd still have the map."

"If you hadn't called him a wuss afraid of getting wet he wouldn't have pushed you. Now you and him are going to snap out of your little lovers quarrel and _get us to our destination_. Capisce?"

"But it wasn't my fault!"

"Learn how to be a shinobi and pay attention to your surroundings!" Tsunade barked back, sending one fist careening at Jiraiya's head.

"And I suppose you know the way there?" he griped, rubbing at the affected spot.

"Of course." Liar liar, but she wasn't going to let him know that.

"Then why don't _you_ show us the way out?" He was generosity and politeness itself.

"How would I ever teach you then?"

And the generosity disappeared. "You don't teach us squat! You're our teammate! You're the dumbest of the three of us!" Half a second later he was picking himself out of the remains of a tree, brushing woodchips out of his hair and inspecting his back for more bruises. "Probably couldn't find your way out of room with ten arrows pointing at the door…" he muttered under his breath, careful to make sure Tsunade couldn't hear it.

She was waving a hand in front of Orochimaru's face, searching for any response in his eyes. Nothing. It was as though he was a marionette with its strings cut. "Orochimaru? I was just joking. I don't really think…"

"Lovers?" The word emerged as a squeak. "Woman, where on _earth_ would you come up with that?"

"Ah…"

As she tried to think up a good response, Jiraiya slipped away from the two. "I'll show her. Useless, my ass. She's the one that can't find the rainbow…" he consulted the sheet Tsunade had dropped to the forest floor.

"I read it?" Tsunade finally offered, backing a few steps away from Orochimaru. He was definitely the more dangerous of the two. His golden eyes flickered oddly, and she decided she really didn't want to know what was going through his mind. "I'll just…"

"Hey guys! I found the rainbow!" Jiraiya came crashing back through the forest, waving the paper triumphantly.

"…What?"

"It's just over there!" He pointed in a direction neither male had chosen, then sped off again, both teammates following.

"Well…damn." Tsunade stared at the construct in front of her in disbelief. "It's really a rainbow."


	227. Not Enough

Not Enough

Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not fast enough.

Too late.

Not brave enough. Not smart enough.

Paralyzed by fear.

Not tough enough.

Useless.

She was curled into a ball, rain dripping into her eyes, her hair soaked by the torrents. Her arms were wrapped around her knees tightly; she was sure there was no circulation to any of her extremities.

Not good enough.

She couldn't track the hand seals as they blurred, couldn't follow the user as he ran by her, blocking her attempts to halt him, intent on a different target. Couldn't prevent his hand from plunging her teammate's body, jerking out with a squelch. Couldn't stop him.

Not strong enough.

The woman overpowered her easily, sending her careening into the trees. She was the first line of defense, meant to hold the line. She was brushed away like a meaningless fly. Her head spun, she couldn't get up. The screams behind her told her exactly what was happening, but she couldn't move. She was left hearing everything, and unable to stop it.

Not fast enough.

She had the gut feeling since the morning. Genin deployed during war were always at risk. It was a routine border patrol. When the feeling spiked she headed for the gates, intent on finding him. She met his sensei coming back, sorrow – as much as he could show, she thought – on his face. It told her everything she needed to know. She was too slow.

Too late.

Her healing hands could have saved him, could have kept him from bleeding out. She could have blocked the weapons that killed him. She should focus solely on the wound, on healing him. But as his life force drained away under her hands, all she could think was "Too late. Too late."

Not brave enough.

She didn't follow him out the gates. She didn't go with him when he told her, fire in his eyes, he would get their misguided friend back. Maybe if she had things would be different. But there was that fear. Maybe she didn't want him back. Maybe she was afraid of what he had become. No way to know now.

Not smart enough.

After she left, she shut down. Drowned her brain in alcohol until she couldn't think. A self-destructive cycle she couldn't – or didn't – want to see to break. Traveling from place to place, dodging debt collectors and gambling away her funds. Not smart at all.

Paralyzed by fear.

Blood was her enemy, the thing that could keep her from even twitching. Hyperventilating, unable to move, unable to save anyone. She watched again and again as they were struck down. She couldn't move. She couldn't help. She couldn't stop them.

Not tough enough.

Some days she wondered why she even took the job. Sorting through mission scrolls, hearing reports of comrades fallen in battle. The only escape was oblivion, that blessed place only provided by one thing – sake. She couldn't stand the emotional beating. He disappeared on just such a mission, one he chose for himself. She couldn't stop him.

Useless.


	228. Guardian

This one is definitely different. Thanks to Kaiser969 for the original idea.

* * *

Guardian

Tsunade hiccupped again, staring down into the near empty ceramic bottle in front of her. It was the tenth…no, twelfth...twentieth? She didn't know. It was the latest in a long string of nights of going out and getting sloshed. Whatever moderation she had practiced in her intake of sake in the past, it was long gone now.

She had driven Shizune off a few weeks ago, finally pushing the younger woman to her breaking point. Their shouting match had shaken the Hokage Tower, insults flying about how Tsunade only used people towards her own ends, Shizune couldn't do a single thing right, Tsunade was only a cowardly drunk on her own, she was a grown woman, she didn't need a _minder_…That same day Shizune had packed up and left, swearing on all she owned that she wouldn't come back until Tsunade was dead and gone.

Sakura was the next to go, chastising her mentor for drinking and not showing up to work. Tsunade shot a barb at her, telling the pinkette she had only taken the girl on out of pity, that there were much better choices for apprentices out there. She wasn't doing that great anyway; she would never become even half as good as Shizune, let alone Tsunade herself. Sakura had looked shocked for a moment before a cold blankness settled over her face. The instruction to 'Leave me be, go be useless elsewhere' was met with an emotionless 'Hai, Tsunade.' No formal acknowledgement, no title, just a statement. That same day Sakura filed paperwork removing herself from the status of Tsunade's apprentice.

The bartender had stopped trying to prevent her from drinking each night, instead setting a new bottle by her when he saw the old one getting low. She didn't notice the pitying looks from the civilians at the bar, the cold ones from her own shinobi. She was on a self-destructive cycle and there was no turning back.

When the bottle disappeared from her grasp, she growled low in her throat and turned to face the one who would _dare _separate her from her alcohol. Shocking blue eyes and blond hair – moving a bit to her hazy mind – made their way into her vision. "It's time to stop."

"The hell it is. Give me back my sake." She made a grab for the bottle, almost sliding off her stool. The bartender looked over at the commotion and Naruto sent him a quick hand signal. The man shrugged and turned back to wiping down his glasses. "Brat, I'm not playing games."

"Neither am I." He sent the bottle spinning down the bar, where the bartender caught it deftly. She let out another growl and cracked her knuckles, red eyes focusing on the blond in front of her. "You're done for tonight."

"Just because you think yourself important doesn't mean I have to stop," she shot out, raising a hand and glaring at the bartender. He pretended not to see. "A half-assed orphan brat like you doesn't get to order me around."

"Half-assed orphan brat?" he repeated lazily, using the same inflections she did. Her face grew red at his mocking and she narrowed golden eyes on him. "Seems to me a half-assed orphan brat knows more than you at the moment."

"A dumbass like you who can't even keep his friend, runs around blindly chasing a girl and thinks he can cure all the world with smiles doesn't deserve to be recognized," Tsunade snarled, pushing herself up off the stool. She stumbled, catching herself on the wooden bar with both hands. Things were moving back and forth as though she was on a ship, and the blond in front of her was doubled. "Can't even learn things right the first time around, have to rely on others to have your back when you screw up. Think you can solve all the wrongs in the world? Think again." She gave a spiteful laugh. "You're just a idealist, lost in a world of dreams long left to rot."

The blond only sighed, letting the insults slide off him like water. He had seen the destruction with Shizune and Sakura; he knew it for what it was. "Let's go, baa-chan. Time to get you home." He slung one of her arms over his shoulder, dodging her sloppy punch with the other hand. When he began to walk she stumbled, unable to keep her balance or resist the tugging, and fell. From where she ended up sitting on the floor Tsunade snarled up at him, baring her teeth. It had no effect. Instead of trying to get her to walk, Naruto simply scooped up the older woman, not even feeling her weight. She beat at his chest uselessly, too drunk to do any real damage or focus any strength, cursing him all the while.

By the time they reached his apartment she had passed out, head falling limply to her chest and bouncing in time to each step. One of her hands was still fisted in the scruff of his shirt – left from an attempt to choke him – while the other lay across her body. Towards the end of her battle she had begun to cry silently, and he could still see the remnants of the tear tracks on her face.

Opening the door with his foot and one hand, he crossed into his small living room and placed the blond woman down on the couch there. She whimpered, whether it was from the loss of warmth, loss of contact, or just being moved, he didn't know. Lying there, she looked more like a lost traveler than the fierce Hokage of the village, one who had no idea where to turn after burning all of her bridges. Well, he wouldn't burn. He owed her this, the chance to get her back on her feet, for all the times she had looked out for him. He refused to let her stay rock bottom.

With one last look at his erstwhile protector lying on the couch, Naruto turned and went into his own room, pondering the twists of fate that could take a relationship and reverse it, where the guarded became the guardian.


	229. Promises

Addster thought I could use the same idea from the last chapter, but this time have Tsunade as the caretaker. I agree.

* * *

Promises

He snuck out of the village in the dead of night, not that anyone would have stopped him anyway. The traditional training grounds were too close to people, interruptions that would try to stop him. He needed peace and quiet, an area where nobody would try to talk to him or try to interfere.

He couldn't stop his best friend. He and Sasuke had fought like brothers, insulted each other like enemies, but at the end of the day they were the closest the other had. Then the raven had to go and search for more power, engaging in a life or death battle with Naruto at the Valley of the End. It was his own fault. If he had been stronger, if he hadn't been taken out by that Chidori, Sasuke wouldn't be gone.

Naruto glared at the trees in front of him. He wouldn't stop until he got stronger. He didn't care what it would take, but he would become strong enough to bring Sasuke back. Failure wasn't an option. With that thought in mind he brought his hands together in a familiar seal and swarmed the clearing with copies.

* * *

Tsunade was worried. Nobody had heard from or seen Naruto anywhere in the village for the last few days. Not even Teuchi and Ayame at the ramen stand. The last time Sakura remembered talking to Naruto, he had been in the hospital and promising her he would bring Sasuke back no matter what. Tsunade felt a sinking dread in the pit of her stomach. Naruto never broke his promises, she knew that first hand. And he was prone to do something very foolish – like pushing himself into exhaustion.

It was raining when she left the village, sending her awareness out in all directions to try to catch a hint of Naruto. She had already combed the village multiple times, and hadn't sensed him anywhere. There were many clearings in the forest near the path to Konoha that could be used for training – and an investigative blond like Naruto would certainly know where to find some.

She came upon him lying half under a bush about a mile from Konoha, soaked by the rain. He was collapsed on his stomach, one arm outstretched and the other half under his body, head turned to the side and normally vibrant blond hair plastered to his forehead and dull with mud. "Oh Naruto."

Without regard for the soaking grounds she crouched down and scooped him up onto her back, making sure both arms were wrapped over her shoulders. His skin was cold and his lips were blue, but she wasn't going to take him to the hospital. All they would do was stick him in a room, hook up a few monitors, and check in every couple of hours. No. That wouldn't do. She wanted to take care of him herself, make sure her favorite blond was tended properly. And she owed him. He was the one who had slapped some sense into her and brought her out of the spiral she had been in for so many years. He had given her back what she had lost, and it was time to repay a bit of that debt.

Passing through the gates of Konoha, Tsunade was glad she had dismissed the gate guards; the rumors that would fly were unnecessary. The moment she was clear of entryway, she took to the roofs, bouncing from eave to eave faster than most could follow, not that anybody would be looking up in the rain. It was only a few minutes before she traversed half the village, only stopping once to readjust her grip on the limp boy and check his breathing. Her body heat seemed to be helping, for his lips were more of a purple shade then blue.

She had left her door unlocked so it was the work of a moment to get inside and close it against the rain, immediately feeling the warmth of her home sink into her bones. Naruto stirred against her back at that, trying to nestle deeper into her wet clothes, and his soaked hair brushed the back of her neck, sending an involuntary shiver down her spine. Making her way upstairs, she lay him gently down on the bed, taking off his sandals and divesting him of the sodden orange jacket he was so fond of.

When the blond boy stirred, the first thing he noticed was that the ground below him was soft, instead of the hard packed dirt he had been training on for the past few days. When he pushed on it with his hand it gave, and he felt the smoothness of tightly woven cloth. That was new. Immediately he sat up and looked around, shinobi instincts on alert. He wasn't in enemy territory – instead he seemed to be sitting on a large bed, partially covered from the waist down by a comforter. When he sat up something had fallen off his shoulders to lie pooled in front of him. It was a green coat – and it looked familiar.

The room was sparsely furnished, but there was a large window set into one wall, with a window seat built in front of it. Sitting on a cushion by the window, watching the rain lash the glass, was a longhaired blonde in a blue-grey shirt, arms wrapped around her knees and back to the boy. She had to have heard him stirring, but she didn't look back. He cast a gaze down at the green coat covering him, then back at Tsunade. She had come for him. He didn't know why, but she had. Naruto lay back down, readjusting the coat over his body, and closed his eyes. He would think on it later.

Only when she was sure he was asleep – his breathing had evened out – did Tsunade get off the window ledge, walking over to her bed and brushing a hand over Naruto's now dry hair. If there was anything she could do to keep her boy from hurting – caused by him or others – she would do it.


	230. Her Boy

I'd like to thank my friend Helen for this one. =)

* * *

Her Boy

Yoshino let out another sniff as she saw her son standing tall at the front of the room, for once looking put together in formal dress. She hadn't let him get away with anything less, fussing and primping over the lines of his clothing until he had finally snapped at her to let it be, it was _fine_. That didn't stop her from messing with it for another thirty minutes of course.

Shikaku, the lazy man that he was, had factored her whole ritual into the timing of the wedding, and so they arrived with plenty of time to spare. Time she spent well by running Shikamaru through his vows once more, and making _sure_ he was positive he wanted to go through with it. After all, there was no backing out. Not in _her_ book.

He had replied with an exasperated '_Yes_ Mom' and sidled out from underneath her hands where they were smoothing his hair back once more. It was up in its normal ponytail, but she had made sure there were no unexpected bumps in the hair and that it didn't stick up too wildly in the back. Shikaku had long since vacated the premises after making sure Shikamaru would be fine on his own. More of a 'See ya Son' and 'Dad you sell out!'

But _her baby was all grown up._ He was off fighting on the front lines, and marrying girls from other villages…where was the little boy who would skip out on classes even though he knew she would be waiting for him when he got home? The one who would lie out on a hill for hours just looking up at the clouds and thinking of nothing? Well, he still did that. But when he had been little things were so much simpler…and she could pass off his little habits as part of being a child.

Then he had become a genin and stepped up to the plate, despite all of his grumblings to the contrary. Soon after that came the Chuunin Exams – which she was sure he _wasn't _ready for, and Shikaku overruled her and told his wife in no uncertain terms that Shikamaru had to participate – and he ended up being the only one to get promoted. After almost dying of course. She had hit him around the head soundly for _that_ stupidity.

But it was part of being a shinobi. And when he was deployed as the leader of a mission for the first time, Yoshino hadn't let him see the tears of pride in her eyes as she shouted after him to make sure he didn't just stop and fall asleep on a hill somewhere. Not that he would be that stupid. But it was the give and take between parent and child, that familiar territory that would always remain the same.

She was startled out of her thoughts as the bride proceeded down the aisle, resplendent in her own formal dress. Her hair was done up intricately instead of its normal four pigtails, and she had a feeling Ino had a lot to do with that. The blonde had taken charge of the female's side of the wedding planning and decoration due to Temari's lack of a mother and sisters. Letting Kankurou and Gaara have control over any part of the event was just asking for trouble. Chances were the puppeteer would change the vows specifically so Temari refused to marry Shikamaru.

Both had seemed daunted to have her as a mother-in-law, something she had encouraged fully, although Gaara didn't show it nearly as much as Kankurou. Maybe it had something to do with the frying pan she had thrown at the brunette after she found him messing in _her_ kitchen. But Temari seemed thrilled to finally have a woman in her life, even if it was circumspectly.

Oh, they were exchanging vows already. For once there was a hint of passion in Shikamaru's voice, an energy behind his words that was normally lacking. He _wanted _this. And when Temari answered with that same spark, Yoshino sat back in her chair and finally let her husband – who had been sitting beside her quiet and relaxed – put his arm around her and sigh happily. Her boy would be fine.


	231. Lies and Truths

Number One - Thanks so much to Star Josherson for the idea for this! It's going to be _epic_.

Number Two - Kaiser969 helped me with so many nuances of this, it's honestly half his.

Number Three - Yes, I really am that evil to leave you with a cliffhanger.

Enjoy!

* * *

Lies and Truths

Seven year old Naruto looked down at the textbook open in front of him and grinned for the first time in a while. _There_ were his heroes. As Iruka droned on and on at the front of the classroom, Naruto decided to use the time to study the two pictures and blurbs in front of him.

Senju Tsunade and her teammate Jiraiya. Both were declared Sannin along with their teammate Orochimaru after battling Hanzou in the Second Shinobi War and determined to be the strongest three shinobi in the village, and some of the best in the world.

He wanted to be like them.

But none of the three resided in Konoha any longer, and no reasons were given. He was always curious why they had left, but even Sarutobi-jii-jii refused to give him an answer. Well that was fine. Someday when he was the best shinobi ever, he would go and find them on his own. Then he'd know.

* * *

Twelve year old Naruto leapt from tree to tree, keeping his eyes peeled on the ground in front of him. He had been sent out on a D-ranked mission, just a standard message delivery. But the target was two days away, and so just to be on the safe side Sarutobi-jii-jii had made him _promise_ to be careful when looking for traps and ambushes. He was going to be going very close to the border of Fire Country, and 'one could never be too careful' in the old man's words.

The mission drop went just as expected, handing the message scroll off to an old man waiting in a secluded building – a guard outpost. Naruto didn't know what was in the scroll, and didn't ask. He had learned that lesson the hard way after Kakashi had put the whole team through a week of punishment for opening a scroll on a mission – even though the information in _that_ scroll was harmless.

It was on the way back that he caught the scent of campfire. He should have passed it by – he _should _have – but curiosity got the better of him. Naruto leapt along the trees branches to the smell, taking care to keep his footsteps silent in order to better prowl upon whoever was camping this close to the border.

Whoever he had expected to see, it _wasn't_ a middle aged pair – one blonde, and one with shocking white hair. The surprise had him dropping from the tree branch with a muffled curse, and landing flat on his face right on the outskirts of the firelight.

The two were immediately on alert, one pressing a kunai against his jugular and the other with a hand poised right over his heart. "Where are you from?" The voice was rough with hostility, not the golden song he had expected from such a beautiful woman. Well beautiful in the textbooks at age twenty, anyway. This woman had hard lines on her face, and while she seemed to retain the figure of her youth, it was obvious life had put its mark on her.

When he didn't answer right away she pushed her hand onto his chest just slightly, and he gasped in pain. "Answer, brat, or you'll be dead in five seconds."

Well that wasn't much of a choice. "Konoha." He had expected them to relax, but instead both tensed further.

"Who sent you?" That was the man, his black eyes hard as obsidian as they glared at the boy.

"No one."

"Don't lie to us." There was a strange glint in both their eyes, as though they had seen their share of liars and were ready to do _anything_ to get the truth.

"I'm not!" Now he was a bit annoyed. Why didn't they believe him? Some heroes_ they_ were shaping up to be. "I was on a mission, and I saw the fire!"

A few seconds silence as they seemed to communicate with each other, before both looked back at him. "Name and rank."

"Uzumaki Naruto, genin." He really didn't have a choice in the whole 'tell them' thing. Give up information or die. And it wasn't like this information was worth protecting with his life. Especially not against former Konoha shinobi.

He could see them both relax at that. A genin. A genin wasn't any threat to either of them, unless he decided to run his mouth.

"Scram gaki." Tsunade glared at him even as Jiraiya vanished the kunai he had been holding to the boy's throat and moved to pack up camp. She made no effort to help him up when she rose fluidly to her feet. "And if you know what's best for you you'll forget you ever saw us."

He scrambled to his feet as well, glaring daggers at her. "You know for heroes you aren't very nice."

Jiraiya let out a bark of laughter from where he had just put out the campfire. "Heroes? Us? Kid, you're delusional."

"But you are!" The textbooks didn't lie! "They tell us you beat Hanzou all by yourselves, you," he pointed a quivering finger at Tsunade where she stood with her arms crossed, regarding him like an interesting insect, "revolutionized medicine at the hospital, and _you_," another finger pointed at Jiraiya, "trained the Yondaime Hokage!"

"So? Those facts mean nothing." The blonde's tone was flat as she turned away from him and helped her companion to put away the few pieces of cooking gear lying around. "When it matters, nobody cares."

"But, you left to go make the world better, right!"

"Kid, where do you get these ideas." Jiraiya's voice was tired as he sealed the last of his supplies in a scroll. The site looked as though no one had stepped foot there. "We left because we had no other choice."

"But…but…" his brain felt like it was stuttering. Nothing was adding up anymore. "Everyone says Tsunade left to cure the world with medical jutsu, and you left to train with the sages!"

"Another pretty lie." Tsunade's fist lashed out, and suddenly a tree ceased to exist. "Just for you we'll tell the truth. Maybe you can go back and screw over those old farts who think they're a good _council_ with the _facts_. You want to know why we left? Listen carefully."

He eyed her fist warily and stood well out of arms range – not that it would save him – then looked at both Sannin. "Fine. Tell me."


	232. Tales and Trials

So here is the second part of the Outcasts two parter (Yes I did just name it.) A huge thanks to Kaiser969 for being my amazing co-conspirator! *grins evilly and highfives*

* * *

Tales and Trials

There was no relaxed atmosphere for the normal storytelling. Instead Tsunade seemed to be on constant alert, her eyes always roaming the woods behind Naruto as though she didn't believe he had come alone. The campsite remained bare, and Naruto stood awkwardly on the perimeter of the clearing.

Jiraiya was the one who began talking first. "Gaki, the first thing you need to understand is that Konoha is place of lies. I don't care what you think of it, that's the truth. If they can twist words to benefit them, they'll do it without a second's hesitation." Naruto felt his mouth tighten at that, but he didn't interrupt. "The council rules everything, and if something doesn't agree with their ideas, they try their best to get rid of it. I was one of those problems."

Tsunade rolled her eyes as she moved across the clearing to stand next to Jiraiya. "Stop being so melodramatic. So they kicked you out. Screw them, the village doesn't deserve you anyway."

"He needs to know why," Jiraiya responded equably, obviously very used to his teammate's abrasive manner. Naruto just stared at the two. Any word he spoke right now might make them second guess telling him, let along letting him go. "Listen carefully, gaki."

Okay, forget remaining quiet. "Don't call me gaki!"

"It's what you are, too bad."

"_Anyway_," Jiraiya stressed, talking over both, "After we fought Hanzou, I stayed behind to train three Ame orphans, while Tsunade and Orochimaru went back to Konoha." He deliberately didn't use the word home. "Not that it did much good, as they left too…" When Tsunade smacked him on the back of the head – hard – he stopped with his dramatic thinking pose and continued. "Anyway. I stayed in Ame for three years trying to teach the kids how to take care of themselves, and when I came back the council wasn't too happy."

"They kept going on and on about how he was 'training the enemy' and 'revealing all our secrets'," Tsunade grumbled. "Pair of weak slimy old…"

"Oi, who's telling this story, you or me? You'll get your turn."

"It's just a waste of time anyway, there's no way a brainwashed genin will ever believe anything in Konoha is _bad_." She spat the word. "No it's the place of rainbows and fairies, where everything goes great and evil stays outside the walls." Naruto decided he didn't like her face at the moment. It was twisted into a sneer, disgust and hatred emanating from her eyes. He had seen faces like that before…but then she gave a sigh and it relaxed into slightly softer lines, ones of despair.

Jiraiya shot his teammate a look of pity, but continued. "They exiled me and declared me a traitor. Sarutobi tried to stop them, but they overruled. I wasn't going to stay in a place that suspected me of that crap anyway, so I left without a fuss."

"Hah," Tsunade scoffed, hitting Jiraiya again. "That's only because you wimped out. There are much better ways to leave."

"Yeah like putting a crack in sensei's face?"

"One of my better ideas."

"Sure, sure. I still hold that it was an accident. Are you going to tell the kid your story?"

All kidding aside, the blonde woman sighed. "Might as well, since you did yours. I hate leaving things unfinished." Tsunade pinned Naruto with a gimlet stare. "If you _ever_ spread this tale to anybody else, I will personally hunt you down and put you through the worst torture you can imagine. Understood?" She waited until he nodded then rolled her eyes. "Pathetic. Not that it matters. What did those textbooks you praise so highly say about me?"

The blond boy was startled to be talked to directly but answered promptly. After all it was one of maybe three sections he had actually cared about and read more than once, if that. "That you were the best medical specialist in Konoha and revolutionized the hospital. After you left, many of the techniques were lost and the medics have been trying to recover them ever since."

Tsunade smirked. "They would try to cover their asses like that. Brat, I took those techniques with me – the scrolls and all. Without anybody to teach them, those fools were screwed."

"Why would you do that? People need those techniques!" Naruto yelled, glaring daggers at the woman. She was just a selfish lady, not bothering to save people.

"Needed them?" The laugh she let out was neither mirthful nor remotely pleasant. "Do you know what they were doing with my techniques? I created them to heal people faster, get them up on their feet. The council _demanded_ I turn all my notes over to them. And do you know why? _So they could create unbeatable soldiers._ Ones who didn't feel pain, who regenerated almost instantly. They didn't listen when I said that would be killing those unfortunate victims in the most inhumane way possible. Not feel any pain? They wouldn't be able to feel anything. Just keep going and going as their bodies broke down further and further, until they died from their heart or lungs collapsing because their cells ran out of life. That isn't a life I would wish on my worst enemy." She let out another laugh. "Well, maybe I would. Those assholes would deserve just that kind of death."

Her eyes were a bit wild by that point, and Naruto didn't realize he had backed up until his back hit a tree. Jiraiya seemed completely unfazed by the display, examining a tag nonchalantly. No doubt he had heard it many times before, and possibly even sided with her. The blond didn't know who these two bitter people in front of him were, but they weren't the heroes of Konoha. Or were they? He didn't know anymore.

Tsunade punched yet another tree, vaporizing it into dust. The action seemed to calm her down, although Jiraiya looked up and said idly "If you keep doing that they'll know we were here."

She scowled but stopped and faced Naruto once more. "When I refused to give them my research, they declared me a traitor to Konoha too. So I left them a little parting gift. I took everything they had that I had created, even techniques they had built off of my own." Her eyes shifted to the side and she rubbed at the back of her neck awkwardly. "The crack in sensei's face was an accident though. But it made a nice parting gift."

Naruto felt as though he was slowly slipping down a steep incline built on truths and lies that he couldn't tell apart anymore. From all appearances both of the Sannin in front of him had been telling the truth – neither had a reason to lie. But did that mean…

Jiraiya cleared his throat. "Well we have to leave. Remember, tell anyone about this meeting and talking will be the least of your worries." His black eyes were hard as flint, but then they softened slightly. "You deserve something from all of this. Don't lose it. I suppose it belongs to you anyway." He flipped the boy something dark and metallic, and Naruto caught it automatically by the hilt. Before he could ask Jiraiya what it was, the white haired man had simply vanished.

Tsunade hung back to give Naruto one final warning. "Anyone they can't control, they try to destroy. Learn that quick boy, and learn it well." Then they were both gone, leaving Naruto with nothing but thoughts swirling in his head and an oddly shaped kunai.


	233. Students and Teachers

So...we have another continuation. Yup. Thanks to Star for outlining a few more ideas I could use for it. =)

* * *

Students and Teachers

Jiraiya sighed as he and Tsunade stepped into the large mansion that had once belonged to Hanzou, and had since become Akatsuki's base and headquarters. "Yahiko? Nagato? Konan?" At his call all three materialized out of nowhere. He had to admit they had aged well since the time he had picked them up as orphans lost in the warzone of their country. Yahiko had kept his hair short and spiky, it's orange color standing out in the near constant grey state of Ame. Konan had perfected her origami style and finally gotten the light of laughter into her eyes on a near daily basis; Nagato had changed the most though. Gone was the lank red hair that covered his eyes, shielding them from view – instead he showed them proudly, and all recognized him as one of the saviors of their country.

He and Tsunade had joined his students after leaving Konoha – or rather, he had joined, and then Tsunade had tracked him down and demanded entry. This time with a veritable army of Ame shinobi at their backs, the five faced down Hanzou and won, winning Ame back from the man and his forces for good.

"Hey sensei, you're back early," Yahiko greeted the two warmly, striding forward. "And of course you're looking lovely as always, Tsunade-chan," he sent Tsunade a wink. She sighed in exasperation and rolled her eyes, but had long since given up discouraging the man. Some flirts just couldn't be repressed, and spending time in Jiraiya's company had only made the boy worse. He'd had his share of concussions from her fists anyway.

Konan gave the ginger a slap upside the head as she passed him, moving to check both Sannin over for injuries. She had become Tsunade's new apprentice, and while not extraordinarily talented, at least knew intermediate healing techniques. "Yahiko, pick on someone your own age. Jiraiya-sensei, what happened? I thought you two would be gone for at least a month. It's barely been a week."

"We ran into a…complication." Tsunade snorted at his word choice. "Fine, more like an unexpected blond brat. A Konoha genin. He stumbled into us on the border of Fire Country, so we decided it would be better to come back here and keep our heads low for a while."

"Was your cover compromised?" That was Nagato, stepping forward to join his two teammates surrounding Jiraiya and Tsunade. "Will he reveal your identities?"

"The idiot here sent a coded message back to Konoha with the boy, but there were…extenuating circumstances," Tsunade answered, shrugging out of her rain-laden jacket and tossing it onto a nearby bench. Following suit, Jiraiya took off his outer shirt, leaving on the under and mesh. "We knew his parents."

Yahiko arched a brow at Jiraiya, flipping his slightly long bangs out of his eyes. "That Minato boy you talked about for a while? Not like he could top us."

Konan rolled her eyes. "Someday your ego will burst and the whole mansion will fall down."

"Ah, but my dear Konan that won't ever happen. If anything it shall simply become bigger." With a twist of his hand Yahiko held out a bundle of flowers. "To appease you."

"Aw, for me? You shouldn't have." Tsunade snatched the bundle out of his hands. "These will make great components for some more antidotes. Always thinking practical, eh Yahiko?"

The man mock-pouted. "And another point to you, Tsunade-chan."

"All flirting aside…" Jiraiya earned another punch to the head for that, "he was Minato's son. He deserves to know the truth rather than the lies of Konoha, I owe it to Minato to tell him at least that much. And I sent back a Hirashin kunai. Kakashi will know what it means."

"Our intel does suggest Kakashi took on a genin team. You know for a fact this boy is part of it?"

"Yeah."

They stood in silence for a few moments before Tsunade broke it by clapping her hands together sharply. "Well as much as I enjoy everybody's company," – heavy sarcasm – "I think I'll go to the sparring rooms. Anyone volunteering to be a punching bag?" Her grin was feral as she eyed the three men in the room.

"I believe Jiiro hasn't been sufficiently punished for his last…advancement," Jiraiya suggested, working to keep the mirth from his voice.

The blonde woman's smile sharpened. "I believe you're correct."

"You know he's not going to be able to walk for the next three weeks, right sensei?" Yahiko spoke up, watching Tsunade move away, killing intent radiating from her body.

"His fault for trying to seduce her." Jiraiya shrugged nonchalantly. "He'd have to learn sometime, and I'd rather it be him being beat up than me. You don't know what the trip back was like." He shuddered. Sure, here where they were safe they could act carefree, but anywhere outside of Ame's borders the pair had to be on their guard. The only reason they hadn't been hunted down for bounty before was because nobody knew where they were at any given time on top of their prowess, and they worked hard to keep it that way.

"Sensei, do you think anything will come of your 'message'?" Nagato asked quietly, regarding the man with his ringed eyes. It was always hard to tell what he was thinking behind them, but Jiraiya got the sense he was a little apprehensive.

"If I'm right, Kakashi will either tell the boy of his heritage straight out, or make him work hard to know anything about the story. But at least we gave him a leg up."

* * *

Naruto threw the odd shaped kunai into the tree once again. It never flew like a normal kunai would, it whistled slightly and landed a bit lower than he wanted. But he was getting better with it. Picking it out of the wood, he stared again at the engravings on it. From what he could tell they were symbols and seals, but he couldn't make heads or tails of them.

"An odd time to be practicing."

The blond spun around, one hand immediately going to his weapons pouch as the other brandished the strange kunai. He relaxed when he saw his sensei.

Kakashi leaned forward and nonchalantly picked the weapon out of the boy's loosened fingers, twirling it idly. "Where did you get this?" He may have looked relaxed, but inside he was nearly vibrating with tension and…excitement. The first sign of his old sensei in twelve years. Everybody knew Minato had died, but the mystery had been the disappearance of every single one of his Hirashin kunai that same night.

"I found it." Naruto eyed both man and kunai suspiciously. "It's mine, give it back."

"Do you know what this is?"

"A kunai. Duh."

Normally Kakashi would have responded with a flippant remark, but this was too important. "This belonged to the Yondaime Hokage. Where did you get it?"

"An old man gave it to me."

For once couldn't the boy give a straight answer? "Naruto."

"He said he knew my father, okay?" The boy was more than a little irritated. He had promised to never mention meeting Jiraiya and Tsunade, but Kakashi was making it _hard_.

The jounin sucked in a breath. There were only two people left who could make that claim and would have had access to the materials of Hirashin. One was the Sandaime, and the other… "_Where."_

"I promised I wouldn't tell."

"_Where?" _When Kakashi was giving him that kind of glare, Naruto decided saving his skin was worth more than a promise.

"Near the border of Ame."

In a flicker Kakashi was gone, and Naruto stepped forward three paces to pick up the object he had let fall. "At least he gave me back the kunai."


	234. Plots and Secrets

Ohhhh this is so fun to play with. It's like my own personal playground! And my co-conspirator Kaiser969 just makes it even better. For your pleasure, we have planned two more chapters after this one to play out the storyline. Enjoy!

* * *

Plots and Secrets

The figure looked at Uzumaki Naruto where the boy stood examining the oddly shaped kunai speculatively. He had heard and seen enough. Keeping to the shadows he had spent the last few hours in, the retreated along the tree branch, then disappeared into the afternoon sunlight, invisible to the passersby.

* * *

Kakashi raced through the streets, all semblances of his normal lazy persona gone. He ignored the shocked looks he received from shopkeepers who knew of his wanderings, fellow comrades who had never seen him move that fast except when he was on a mission. He didn't care. He had one goal, and one goal only now, centered in the large red tower that rose above the rest of the village.

With a leap he was climbing it. This was too important to go through the insides where he may be delayed, or told to wait. Even if the man was in a meeting, _he didn't care_. He had to know. It was a fiery drive of the kind he hadn't felt since the Yondaime's death.

The window was open and he jumped through, landing in front of the desk. Sarutobi didn't even bat an eye, finishing the few words he was carefully inscribing on a document before putting down the pen with care and looking up at Kakashi. His eyes were steel. "I assume there is a good reason for this uncharacteristic action?" The man may be known for being benevolent, but he also had an iron will.

"Sandaime-sama, where is Jiraiya?" Kakashi could match wills as well, could probably put up a good fight. It wasn't his most prudent action, but he wasn't thinking straight. The past was coming back to clog his mind, drowning him in memories of what had happened, what would happen, what could happen.

If Sarutobi was surprised, he hid it well. The old man steepled his fingers and gazed over them at the jounin who practically radiated tension. "Konoha neither knows nor cares where Jiraiya is."

"That's bull!" The words were out before he could stop them. He hadn't acted this stupid since before Obito died. "You keep tabs on your students."

The piercing glare the Hokage was sending him now sent chills down his spine. "Mind your tone, Hatake. Remember to whom you speak."

"Naruto has one of Minato-sensei's kunai. There are only two people he could have gotten it from, and it _wasn't you_. Where is Jiraiya?" His one visible eye was wide with frustration and anger. He wanted _answers_, he wanted to track the man down and shake everything he had to know out of Jiraiya. He had to know _what had happened that night_. He couldn't live not knowing.

"Such information is classified." The Hokage's tone was that of glaciers on a frigid night. "It does not concern you."

"Requesting permission to find Jiraiya."

"Denied."

"Hokage-sama –"

"You would do well to forget about this topic, Hatake. Or you will be seen as a liability to the village and dealt with accordingly."

Kakashi clenched his teeth tightly to keep the retort from slipping out, and bowed low from the waist. "Hai, Hokage-sama." He made sure the man couldn't see his eyes. It wouldn't do for the Professor to see the plan in them.

* * *

"You are sure?" The voice was deep, raspy. The figure kneeling on the floor halfway in the shadows nodded decisively once. "Very well. The information shall be dealt with accordingly. Fetch Koharu and Homura." The figure vanished.

* * *

Kakashi prowled along the shadows of the wall, watching the bored chuunin guard at the gate. The moment the man turned and stifled a yawn, he struck. One hand over the mouth, the other to a temple. A light genjutsu and the man was down for the count, unconscious. He would wake up in five minutes and not think anything was out of the ordinary. Kakashi's passage would go unnoticed.

He had made his plan carefully, knowing the rotations of the guards and how to get out of Konoha. The last rumors of the toad sage floating around said he was lurking in Ame, and Naruto had encountered him close to the Ame border. It was a place to start.

The jounin sped through the trees, leaving almost no signs of passage. No doubt Sarutobi would take action the moment his absence was noticed, but he planned to be well away by then. He didn't _think_ he'd be labeled a traitor, but he was certainly pushing the line. No use taking chances. Kakashi had brought everything important to him on this trip, sealed into a storage scroll he had given to Pakkun to hold onto. His loyal dog knew exactly what to do should they face interference.

* * *

Nagato looked up sharply as something passed through his senses on the fringes of Ame. Yahiko ruled the village, but Nagato was in charge of its defense. His ability to spread his chakra through the near constant rain of the country allowed him to sense any intruders. And one had just arrived. With quick steps he made his way to the room Yahiko was relaxing in, engaging in a rare game of wits with Konan. The ginger always lost, but it didn't keep him from trying. "We have an interloper."

"Oh?" From where he was sprawled on the couch, Yahiko sent Nagato a piercing gaze; Konan's eyes latched onto the redhead as well. "How serious?"

"Jounin at least, from the direction of Konoha."

"Well." There was nothing nice about Yahiko's smile. "I believe our visitor deserves a welcome party."

* * *

Kakashi leapt along stone cliffs, having had to abandon the trees at the border between the two countries. Ame housed almost no vegetation – it would have been unable to grow without sunlight to nourish it, despite the plentitude of water. There was something off about the rain, something he couldn't quite put his finger on, but there was nothing he could do. Instead, he stopped and bit his thumb to draw blood, running through familiar seals. In a cloud of smoke a small brown pug appeared, his blue bandana instantly getting wet.

"Kakashi what is this?" he grumbled. "You know I hate water."

"Pakkun, can you get his scent?" Kakashi ignored his summons' gripes. Sometimes the dog wasn't happy without something to complain about.

"Yeah yeah, ask me to catch a scent in the rain…" Pakkun rolled his eyes as best he could and put his nose to the ground. "It's faint, but I have a direction."

Kakashi stopped listening, making two hand signals that the summons caught out of the corner of his eye. In one bound he was away from the jounin, hiding behind an outcropping of rock. Not five seconds later three figures materialized out of the rain, facing Kakashi.

"So, we have a mouse trying to sneak in?" the orange haired one spoke up first. "Mice that sniff where they aren't welcome lose more than their whiskers."

"I'm looking for Jiraiya." He was sizing up his opponents. The rain was dulling his ability to read their chakra, he couldn't place their level. Perhaps chuunin at least, each of them.

"Jiraiya isn't looking for you." That was the woman on the right, her heavy lidded eyes boring holes in him. "He wants none of your kind sniffing around."

"He left a message. I need to know more about it."

"You were Konoha ANBU." _That_ gave Kakashi a shock. Nobody should know about the appointments within the ranks of the Konoha elite. Their identities could not be compromised, or they were deemed useless. The redhead continued "ANBU are the lapdogs of the Hokage. We have no use of your kind here. You are not wanted."

"You've come too far to be let go. Prepare yourself." That was all the warning before the ginger attacked, coming from straight ahead. As Kakashi moved to dodge his feet slipped on something and he fell heavily, seeing a white piece of paper detach itself from the rock. He barely dodged the sword that plunged towards his head where he lay.

"I know Jiraiya! He talked to my student!"

"That is between sensei and Uzumaki Naruto. You have no business being here." Again Kakashi was forced to dodge, rolling to his feet and slashing out with a kunai to stop the sword on its swing.

Pakkun didn't like the way the meeting was going. With one look at his master, the pug turned and ran off, following the trail that would lead him to Jiraiya. It couldn't be too far now.

* * *

The three council members sat in a small room, the two advisors facing the man who had called them. "What do you want, Danzou?"

The crippled man looked up, half of his face covered by bandages as always. "I have received news that threatens all of us. We have been compromised." They waited in silence. "There is one who knows the truth of the Sannin."

"How? We exiled them and branded them as traitors," Koharu protested, the pin in her hair jostling slightly. "There should be no one who would listen, let alone survive an encounter with those two. Even if they did, no one would believe them."

Homura was less eloquent. "Who?"

"The demon container, Uzumaki Naruto. He came across the Sannin within Fire Country, and they told him everything. Their ties to the boy make him dangerous – they could be willing to do more for him than any other." Neither advisor questioned how Danzou had gotten his information. What they didn't know, they could deny.

"The boy isn't known for his ability to keep secrets. If he tells a single person, it could be throughout the village in a week. All we have cultivated could fall."

"There is one other who knows. Hatake Kakashi. He was seen leaving the village last night."

"We may already be too late then. We must limit the damage, before it can spread further."

Danzou nodded decisively and raised a hand. Without even a whisper there was a woman kneeling in front of him. "Uzumaki Naruto must die."


	235. Questions and Decisions

So more things are happening, although they aren't getting wrapped up quite as fast as I thought they would...I take it back. May be more than just one more chapter. ^^;; Hope this still has you guys hanging on to the edges of your seats!

* * *

Questions and Decisions

Naruto wandered into Sarutobi's office as he was prone to do, bright blue eyes wandering around to see if the Hokage had added anything new to his collections. There were some new books lining the shelves but those didn't interest the boy, never had. Instead he focused on the figure who looked up at him with a genial smile. The Hokage always seemed to have time to see him, and always met him with a smile. "How are you today, Naruto-kun?"

"Eh, pretty good!" Naruto grinned back, rubbing at the back of his head with one hand. The old man didn't need to know about the shopkeeper that had chased him out with a broom earlier that day, refusing to sell the boy a new set of clothing. "Kakashi-sensei never showed up for team training today, so we have the day off."

Sarutobi's eyes narrowed imperceptibly at that. Was it possible Hatake had gone off halfcocked and left to find Jiraiya himself? Yes. He made a mental note to consider the issue later. "I'm sorry to hear that. Bonding with your team over training can be quite valuable."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Bonding over ramen is better!" The Hokage let out a laugh at that. Just the answer he would expect from the blond boy in front of him. "But jii-jii, I have a question for you." His tone was serious now, so Sarutobi matched his mood.

"What is it Naruto-kun?"

Fishing in his weapons pouch, Naruto pulled out the oddly shaped kunai he had been given and displayed it to the elder man. "Someone told me this belonged to the Yondaime, but that it belonged to me. What does that mean?"

Sarutobi closed his eyes, desperately trying to think of what to say.

* * *

Perched on a rooftop across from the Hokage's office, a figure stared through the window at the target. To go missing right after a meeting with the Hokage would be suspicious, but it could wait. Wait until just the right time, when nobody would notice…the mission was only time sensitive that the boy not tell his story to anyone who didn't know about it already. It could wait just a little longer.

* * *

Tsunade stared at the little dog in front of her. Somehow he had made it past Nagato's traps on the mansion and into its hallways. But it wouldn't be getting much further.

"Hey, lady!" it said again, it's voice a little irritated. "Where's Jiraiya?"

She didn't recognize it, but by the bandana on its back and the fact it was talking she knew it was a summons. And the only person she knew who had a dog summons' contract – and the fact had been mentioned in passing by Jiraiya – was Kakashi. She eyed the brown pug warily. "You shouldn't be here."

If dogs could eye roll it would have. "Way to go, Sherlock. I'm looking for Jiraiya, Kakashi's trying to get to him."

Well that cemented that fact. Well she wasn't about to let their security be compromised by an idiot from Konoha. "He's not here. And in a second you won't be either." The chakra was already being channeled into her fist when a voice floated out of the hallway behind her.

"What am I not here for?" Damn.

"Kakashi came to talk to you about the kunai and Naruto!" the dog shouted, running past Tsunade and her dangerous fist to glare up at Jiraiya. "And he's being beaten up right now trying to get here!"

Jiraiya stilled. "By who?"

"Three crazy people, two guys and a girl." There was only one group that fit that description in Ame, one group that would know the jounin had entered the country.

"The idiot wasn't supposed to come here…" Jiraiya muttered under his breath, but he was already heading for the exit.

"What are you doing?" Tsunade's harsh voice stopped him. "What has Konoha done for us? There's no reason to go see him. Let him die."

The toad sage didn't turn around. "He needs answers too, and I'm not about to let him die before he can get them. You can either come with me or stay here, but I'm going." Muttering under her breath about stubborn males who didn't know when to kill the enemy and be done with it, Tsunade followed him out of the mansion and into the rain. Pakkun trailed behind, a safe enough distance away he wasn't in immediate danger of being hit. The female Sannin was legendary for the strength of her punches after all.

* * *

Kakashi was breathing hard, grateful for the little respite he had between dodging attacks. He had barely managed to get any of his own off, only able to create a lighting clone that exploded when a hand plunged through it and shocking the attacker. His odds in the fight had gone from slim to none, and now he felt as though he was simply prolonging the inevitable.

"Halt." The one resounding word echoed across the rocky ground, and simultaneously the three attackers turned to face it's source. For a few moments Kakashi didn't recognize him – gone was the normally jovial expression, and the lines on his face were more from stress and worry than laughter. But it was still his sensei's mentor, arms folded commandingly. He almost didn't see the blonde woman hanging back in the shadows, eyes roving the scene. It had to be Tsunade.

"Sensei, we caught this intruder upon our territory. He is Konoha, and so should be dealt with accordingly," Yahiko proclaimed, gesturing to the jounin.

"I know who and what he is." Jiraiya's voice was even as he stared at Kakashi with no emotion in his eyes. "I also know why he has come here, although he should have known better. You will stand down." Konan and Yahiko immediately stepped away, back towards Jiraiya, but Nagato remained firm.

"Sensei, please let me deal with this. After what Konoha has done…"

"No, Nagato. I brought him here, indirectly or not, and I will not let you kill him because of that." Something flickered through Nagato's eyes that only Jiraiya seemed to be able to read. "Killing him won't solve anything. He wasn't responsible."

There was a silent staring contest for nearly ten seconds before Nagato bowed his head and stepped to where his teammates were. "Hai, sensei."

"Now." Jiraiya's voice was cold and unyielding. "Hatake you will come with me. You will be blindfolded, and you will dismiss your dog. We have much to talk about, but you will be treated as a stranger. Understood?" The silver haired man nodded once. He hated the position he was in, but knew it to be very reasonable. Papers slipped across his eyes and ears, effectively rendering him blind to the environment around him.

* * *

Tsunade watched as Hatake Kakashi was led away. She _knew_, in a way she couldn't put her finger on, that Kakashi would have tried to find out more from Konoha before resorting to coming to Jiraiya directly. And if he had tried to get information, the council would know something was up. It didn't take a genius to figure out they would do anything to hide the truth, as they had done decades ago. And the only one in Konoha who knew the truth besides them was Uzumaki Naruto.

_"Anyone they can't control, they try to destroy. Learn that quick boy, and learn it well."_

If the council thought they were going to be able to take care of the matter quickly and quietly, they thought wrong. It was time to pay another visit to Konoha.


	236. Battles and Dreams

Ohhh, this one is long. Again thanks to Kaiser969 for helping me out with so much of this! Don't know how much more there is to go...^^;;...

* * *

Battles and Dreams

Kakashi paced the small room he had been put in by the Ame shinobi. Jiraiya had disappeared almost the moment they had arrived at…wherever they were. With his senses cut off, he had no idea where he had been led and was now waiting. Food came at regular intervals, and it was the fourth time. He didn't know if that meant day or night, his internal clock had been thrown off. All he could do was wait.

* * *

Tsunade sat in the branches of a tree overlooking the walls of Konohagakure in the midmorning. She was almost right over the village itself and had been passed twice by ANBU passing the walls, unaware of her presence. She was there for Naruto, but she had a stop to make first. Bringing her hands together in a familiar seal, Tsunade focused her chakra and disappeared from the foliage.

She reappeared a moment later, in the middle of one of the most important places in the village; the Hokage's office. Sarutobi looked up, startled, as he felt the fluctuation of chakra – a chakra signature he hadn't felt for over twenty years. "What are you doing here?"

Tsunade lounged against the wall casually, arms crossed over her chest and golden eyes partially lidded. "Who, me?" She pretended to look around for someone else in the office, then back at the Hokage. "Why, I don't believe that's any of your business anymore, sensei." The amount of malice she could put into one word was astounding.

"Senju Tsunade, you were exiled from this village and declared a traitor. By law, setting foot within Konoha is an offense punishable by imprisonment and death," Sarutobi rattled off formally, keeping his eyes on his one-time student.

"Ah, but you won't report my presence here, will you sensei?" she asked sweetly, then a mask snapped into place and her voice was cold and hard, eyes like amber flint. "After all, you never reported what those ignorant advisors of yours planned to do, did you? No, you kept your mouth shut like a good accomplice."

A spark of fire ignited in Sarutobi's eyes. "You have no right to question me. There were circumstances you were unaware of –"

She cut him off. "What circumstances? It was _my_ research, and I know exactly what the old fools planned to do with it! You were going to create a soldier, an unbeatable soldier, at the cost of _human lives_. They wouldn't be able to feel any pain, but they would die because they wouldn't know when to stop. You would be making a machine. Where were your morals, sensei? You could have stopped the council with a word, but you remained silent!"

"We needed more reinforcements." His voice was heavy, but he met her eyes levelly. "We were losing, and if we had succumbed we would have lost much more than just a few lives."

"Sacrifice a few for the good of the many, is that how you justify it to yourself? Well I don't see it that way." She slammed her fist into the wall behind her, a crack springing from the impact and snaking along the plaster. "The way I see it you were a fool, blinded by power." Now she darted forward, all the windows blowing outwards to shatter on the streets below as she thrust chakra forward. With her back to him, looking out over the village, Tsunade dealt the final blow. "The way I see it, you're no better than Orochimaru."

Sarutobi made no move to follow her, stunned by that last sentence.

* * *

Naruto hummed to himself as he walked along the dirt pathway to the training grounds. It was pretty far away from most of the village, the better to keep the techniques of shinobi practicing there from civilians and other possible spies. It also meant nobody was around to see him.

The only inkling he had that something was afoot was a dark figure rising out of the ground in front of him, katana in one hand. Before the blond could even make a move, the figure struck.

* * *

Tsunade cursed to herself as she bounded over rooftops. She knew Naruto was in danger, and the sooner they got him out of the village the better. To her he was only a reminder of the redheaded little girl her grandmother had been so attached to, but to Jiraiya, the boy was a lost legacy. She had been with Jiraiya long enough and seen everything that hurt him; she would do what she could to keep him from suffering this pain too.

She had searched almost everywhere, easily locating the boy's apartment and not finding him there, then tracing that distinctive chakra signature through most of Konoha. He was on the fringes, the perfect place for an ambush. She picked up her speed, cursing again. That boy obviously had no sense of self-preservation.

She arrived just in time to see a dark figure swing a katana at Naruto's neck, a moment too late to do anything but watch helplessly. The boy tried to dodge backwards, and instead the katana scraped along the side of his neck, opening a deep gash. He crumpled to the ground.

Tsunade lunged at the Root member, preventing him from being able to finish the kill. As she kicked him she brought her hands together into a single seal, and a kage bunshin popped up next to her. "Get him away!" she yelled to her copy, who nodded sharply. In one fluid motion the boy – still pouring blood from his neck – was scooped up and being carted towards the trees.

The blonde sannin focused her attention on the black clad person in front of her, eyeing the emotionless mask covering its face and the katana poised for use. "You aren't going to survive this battle."

No response but to lunge at her, moving fast enough Tsunade was hard-pressed to block and redirect with her left arm even as she unleashed a punch to the solar plexus with her right. The figure twisted gracefully out of the way and launched into a reverse swing, aiming to take off her arm. Just as easily Tsunade danced away, one leg sliding out to try and trip up the operative.

"Well, well," a voice from behind the fighting pair made both freeze – the operative coming to attention, and Tsunade recognizing that dreaded voice. The one who had pushed the hardest for the killing machines. Danzou Shimura walked along the path as though he had not a care in the world, flanked by twenty ANBU. The Root operative melted into the ground again at the sight of the official troops, disappearing from the view of all as attention was focused on Tsunade. "Senju Tsunade, one of Konoha's three greatest traitors. You certainly have courage coming back here – but foolish courage. Today you shall die."

"Oh? Do you forget, old man, that I am a Sannin? I could take you down easily." Tsunade eyed the ANBU flanking the old man with a bit more wariness. She didn't doubt her abilities, but those odds were near suicide even for her. And if she died no one would be able to save Naruto and get him to Jiraiya.

"Old I may be, but I am still a shinobi," Danzou shot back calmly, one eye regarding her impersonally. "I come from a time when wars were fought daily, and the life of a shinobi wasn't a joke to be toyed with."

"What a good representation of your time you give, as well," Tsunade countered. "Toying with the lives of others instead of yourself."

Something flashed in the man's one visible eye. "You will die here today by my hand."

"Not likely!" The blonde woman jumped back as she sensed something coming at her from the earth, and the massive dragon of stone missed her by two feet. As it shot up into the air it turned to arrow down at her, and Tsunade ran quickly through a series of hand seals. A spout of water poured from her palms, forcing the dragon off course to crash into the ground next to her and crumble into dirt. Then she was defending against Danzou who, despite having one arm in a sling, was pushing ninjutsu against ninjutsu against her. She punched out at him, only to have her fist phase through the man and be hit from behind.

Tsunade stumbled forward, planting both hands on the ground and launching into a handspring to kick out with both legs at the man behind her. He dodged one hit but not the other, and recoiled with a trickle of blood running from his cut cheekbone. "You may have skills, but they are not enough." He pulled back the patch covering his eye, and Tsunade recoiled at what was behind it. A sharingan, an eye that shouldn't be found anywhere but in three males. Danzou wasn't one of them. "Meet your fate."

"Enough!" a voice roared, and a merciless wind swept across the path, causing Danzou to quickly close his eye to protect it. Between the two appeared the Sandaime Hokage of the village, dressed in the red robes and hat that were his right.

"Sarutobi, you have arrived just in time to capture your errant student," Danzou began, only to be cut off by the furious Hokage.

"Too long have I tolerated the corruption of this village and said nothing. Too long have I turned a blind eye to activities I should have addressed decades ago. It may be too late to rectify some mistakes, but I will _not_ let this one go by once more unpunished!" In one motion he tore off his official robes of office, appearing in all his glory. He was wearing a truly formidable set of armor and looked as though he were twenty years younger, ready to go to war again. "It is time to settle scores I have waited too long to resolve; I owe it to my masters and to my students." His eyes narrowed on Danzou. "Prepare yourself."

That was all the warning the other man had before Sarutobi brought his hands together and a wooden staff appeared within them – Enma the Monkey King. A split second before the battle began, the Hokage turned his head and looked at Tsunade, his message easily read. _Go. _

She went, easily breaking through the stunned men and women of the ANBU watching their leaders fight. At the edge of the woods bordering the path Naruto lay unconscious, the bleeding mostly stopped but her clone having used up all its chakra healing the wound as much as it could. She scooped up the boy and slid him onto her back, then turned to look at the battlefield. Sarutobi was pressing Danzou back, hitting at him again and again with the staff. On a chance his head turned and his eyes caught Tsunade's, they both knew.

It was up to the traitors and escapees to carry on the dream of the Hokages; Sarutobi Hiruzen was completing his last duty to the Will of Fire. Tsunade turned away and with Naruto on her back sprinted away, never looking back.


	237. Anger and Blood

This one felt a little more forced, but I still like it ^^;; Hope you guys do too...Again thanks to Kaiser969 (I feel like I repeat myself so often because you help so much!)

* * *

Anger and Blood

Kakashi was completing his seven hundredth and forty-third circuit of the room when the door opened. Immediately he stopped, turning towards the newcomer who entered the room, prepared for anything. Jiraiya looked back at the jounin as the door closed behind him, then leaned back against the portal. "Bored already?"

The silver haired man eyed the Sannin warily. "Impatient, perhaps. Are you going to explain?"

"Oh, I think you should be the one to talk first. After all, you were in Konoha with Naruto." Jiraiya crossed his arms, indicating he wouldn't be saying anything until he got the answers he wanted. There were many things he suspected that he wanted confirmed.

"Only if you tell me what you know of sensei's death," Kakashi countered. "I know you used to be the spymaster; if anyone would know, it would be you."

"I don't think you're in the position to be demanding anything, boy." Jiraiya's tone was harsh, but Kakashi didn't flinch. He just stared at the man. "But it's a fair trade."

That was the best he was going to get, Kakashi decided. "Naruto was declared an orphan by Sandaime-sama, and put into the system. He forbid anyone from telling the boy about the Kyuubi, but that didn't stop the villagers from hating him. Only about five people in the village looked out for him, Sandaime-sama included."

"Don't tell me you, as Minato's student, weren't aware of the boy. I know exactly the kind of bond you two shared. He must have told you to look after Naruto." Jiraiya's voice was deceptively mild, but his black eyes were sparking. Kakashi didn't like the accusation in them.

"After sensei's death, I wasn't ready to take care of a child. The village needed money, so I took all the missions I could. The boy didn't need a guardian who was gone more than he was there." And he couldn't stand the reminder of his sensei being around all the time, yet another person he had lost. The only way to leave those memories was to leave the village. "Minato-sensei declared you the godfather even though you weren't there. Where were _you_?"

That spark grew into a small flame. "I was branded a _traitor_. If I ever set foot in Konoha they would try to kill me. Do you know what they would do to anyone I tried to contact? I'm sure you know the policies – tortured for information and left for dead. But you were _there_. You could have watched out for the boy, helped him, protected him! Instead I got reports he grew up mostly on the streets, dodging civilians and shinobi out for his blood. _People who should have been praising the ground he walked on_. You abandoned him to that!"

"I didn't abandon him!" Kakashi was almost shouting. "If you care about the boy so much when you've only met him _once_, why didn't you come back and take him? Why did you trust him to people you knew were trying to hurt him? And if you think Naruto suffered because of you not being there, what about sensei? You walked out of Konoha without him. You didn't even fight the council's decision! No, you just turned your back on him and walked away. He told us that once, even though he knew you had a reason for leaving, he wished you would have fought. I guess your pattern never changes, abandon the father, abandon the son!"

A low growl was the only warning the jounin had before Jiraiya lunged at him. He welcomed it. As he drew back his fist to punch the Sannin in front of him, paper restraints snapped around his wrists and dragged him back against the wall. Opposite him, he could see the same thing happening to Jiraiya even as the man tried to fight them. The blue haired woman from earlier entered the room slowly, glaring at both men. "If you can't behave I'll leave you both in there until Tsunade comes back, understood? You aren't here to kill each other over the past, you're here to talk about Naruto." She waited until both men met her eyes and their fists relaxed before removing the restraints. The papers flowed back to her and morphed into a flower. "Good. Do that again and I'll see if you two like to be punching bags."

Kakashi and Jiraiya couldn't meet each other's eyes after Konan left, instead each staring awkwardly at either the wall or the floor. "I…" Jiraiya began, then faltered. He didn't know what to say.

"Why didn't you take Naruto to Ame?" The Sannin's head snapped up, staring at Kakashi who had moved his eye to the ceiling. He seemed to be examining it for any flaws as he continued. "It would have been much better for him than Konoha."

"I…we were at war," Jiraiya began lamely. "It wasn't the kind of situation you would put a child in, always moving around, always on alert. And I trusted Konoha to…"

"To look after Naruto the same way they did you? And Tsunade?" Again Jiraiya stared. "I may have been young twenty years ago, but I knew enough to see what happened. I know what the council did, and what lies they told. Minato-sensei never believed them either. So I ask again, why didn't you take Naruto?"

Jiraiya couldn't answer, he had no answer. He had never considered the possibility of taking Naruto from Konoha's clutches, the boy _belonged_ to the village the same way Minato did, he was to carry on his father's dream…but maybe the village didn't belong to him. He knew the place didn't _deserve_ the boy. But to take him to Ame? The room felt like it was revolving slowly.

Without looking at Kakashi the white haired man almost ran out of the room, gesturing to Konan who was standing outside to secure it. As paper covered the door once more, Jiraiya paced rapidly down the hallway leading towards entrance to the base. He had to get out of the building, he had to think. He couldn't think. He had to leave.

* * *

Nagato's hands paused where they were sharpening a kunai, and he cocked his head. He felt the slightest tingle of chakra at the border of Fire Country and Ame, but unlike when that jounin had passed through his rain, he knew the chakra signature. It wasn't as strong as it should have been, and there was another, fainter one overlapping it.

"Tsunade-san…" he muttered, placing the kunai on the bench in front of him. She probably needed help, and she could have pursuers – she seemed too weak to defend against any. Besides, Jiraiya would never forgive any of them if Tsunade got killed within Ame.

It wasn't too long of a trek to where he could sense her struggling through the rain, maybe ten miles. He covered it quickly, not feeling any others enter their country. But that didn't mean there weren't pursuers.

Tsunade's long blonde hair was plastered to her face when he found her, and there was a body on her back, one arm looped over her shoulder that she hung onto in order to keep the boy from falling off. "Tsunade-san!" Her head snapped up at the call tiredly, staring through the rain at the redhead who approached.

"Nagato? Where's Jiraiya?"

"He's back at base." Nagato took in the bruises on her forearm, the huge red stain spreading down her right shoulder. "I'll take him." He gestured to the blond boy on her back.

Tsunade didn't protest, handing over her burden tiredly. After using up so much of her chakra to try and heal the boy even as he tried to heal himself, and fighting Danzou even temporarily, she was exhausted. It was going to be all she could do to get back to base. Sheer willpower was all she had left.

When she stumbled through the door, the first thing she saw was Jiraiya, pain on his face as he headed for the exit. He stopped dead upon seeing her, eyes immediately shooting to the massive blood stain down her shoulder from the wound on Naruto's neck. Then Nagato entered with the boy, and she saw her teammate blanch. She had tried to heal the wound, but all she had managed to do in the end was seal the boy's jugular, which had been partially severed. It was a miracle he hadn't bled out. Even now though, his wound was bleeding sluggishly, staining Nagato's clothes red as well.

She had tried. Tsunade took a step forward, eyes never leaving Jiraiya's stunned form. She tried to take another step and stumbled, knees hitting the floor. "Sorry…"


	238. History and Changes

So...yeah. A bit...dark I suppose. Good things aren't happening for sure ^^; But at least it's gripping I hope =)

* * *

History and Changes

Tsunade blinked her eyes warily, wincing as the bright lights cut into her corneas. She let her eyelashes screen her vision as she took stock of her surroundings. She remembered reaching the base, Nagato behind her with Naruto, then collapsing. She could tell she was lying on something soft, and there was a pillow under her head.

When her eyes had adjusted to the light mostly, she turned her head to the right and saw a wall. "Other way," a deep voice told her, a suppressed laugh in the tone. Obediently – not that she would ever use that word – Tsunade turned her head to the right and saw Jiraiya sitting in a chair between two beds. Past the white haired man she saw a woman leaning over the other bed, checking the vitals of a smaller blond lying there.

Konan straightened and looked towards Tsunade just as the woman asked "Is he alive?"

The blue haired woman sighed and looked at Tsunade seriously, folding her hands in front of her. "He'll live thanks to you, but the wound on his neck was pretty serious, and he lost a lot of blood. You healed the interior damage to his neck and replenished some of his blood, but he'll be unconscious for the next few days as his body recuperates."

Tsunade let out a sigh of relief and relaxed back in the bed slightly. She would have hated for all her rushing and hard work to go to waste, not to mention dealing with Jiraiya. Konan nodded to both Sannin and left, giving the two a bit of privacy.

"You've been out for a day," Jiraiya broke the silence, black eyes boring into hers from where he sat next to her bed. "Actually a day and a half to be precise. It's morning." When she winced he gave her a crooked grin. "At least you caught up on your beauty sleep."

"Like I need it," she scoffed, hitting out at him lightly. He dodged it, laughing, then the smile slid from his face.

"What happened in Konoha?"

Tsunade let out an involuntary sigh. "We've lost Konoha. I went to see sensei first, and we got into an argument. I told him he was no better than Orochimaru –" Jiraiya sucked in a breath at the name "–and that he should have stopped the council long ago." Now she felt ashamed for saying what she had, even though it was true. It was practically her fault he was dead now. "I found Naruto close to the training fields just as a Root operative attacked him…he managed to dodge the killing blow, but it still got his jugular. I got him out of the way and fought the scum just as Danzou showed up with a bunch of ANBU for witness."

"So much for being unnoticed."

She let out a brittle laugh. "Yeah. All our policies went to hell at that point. Danzou attacked me, but then sensei showed up. He told Danzou he had put up with corruption for too long…and that he was going to set it right. He let me escape Jiraiya, he sacrificed himself for us." Tears swam in her eyes as she finished, as she hadn't allowed herself to grieve while running to save Naruto's life. Jiraiya's hand reached out and clasped her own in comfort, closing his own eyes in remembrance.

Their 'Will of Fire' had been inherited from the man, and he had taught them the basics of almost everything they knew. The least they could do was try to carry on his legacy now that he was gone.

This time Tsunade broke the silence after a few minutes. "Konoha has truly fallen now."

* * *

Outside of the infirmary Nagato leaned against the wall, musing over everything he had heard. Jiraiya had talked to both blondes in the room while they were unconscious, musing to himself.

_"I always thought Nagato was supposed to be the child of prophecy, the one to change the world. But then I went back to Konoha, leaving him alone. He could change the world, he had the power to do it. Then Minato was the strong one, the nice one, cut out to be the savior. I had to leave before I could finish his training, so he had to grow up on his own." He stopped and ran a hand over his face, letting out a long sigh. "Where did I screw up? I tried to make everything right, we freed Ame, and Nagato proved himself again. He's strong now, probably stronger than he ever would have been if I hadn't come back."_

_Nagato heard the chair scrape as Jiraiya readjusted himself and held his breath, not daring to make a sound lest the Sannin know he was there. Jiraiya rarely ever talked about the past, not even when pressed. _

_"Minato named you for a character in my book, I know it. He loved The Tale of the Gutsy Ninja, even though I always thought it was stupid after a while. Icha Icha sold better before I had to leave. My Naruto was the strongest, the bravest, and the fastest, out to save the world the best he knew how. I based him on me, and on Nagato, so I guess you have a bit of a legacy to live up to. A Sannin, a prophecy, and a Hokage – what a great combination. Naruto was supposed to save the world. Is that what Minato intended for you?" A sigh. "What would you have been like, if you had grown up in Ame? Would you have fulfilled your destiny?"_

He had heard Jiraiya use that term only once before – Child of Prophecy. He had been muttering to himself about the toad elders and an odd vision, about how the Child of Prophecy would save the world. But Nagato, to be him? And for there now to be another boy who had a claim to Jiraiya, that the Sannin would insist on training. It was a lot to think about.

Would he be able to accept Naruto?

* * *

Danzou Shimura looked around at the full council that had gathered at his summons. Homura and Koharu flanked him, and a table full of clan leaders looked back at him. The Hokage's chair was consciously empty.

"Council members," he began, not bothering to raise his voice. In the room, a dropped pin could be heard, "Sarutobi Hiruzen has betrayed Konoha." He waited for the few gasps that were heard to quiet. "He attacked me in full view of the ANBU forces, in defense of the traitor Senju Tsunade." Muttering now.

"Where is the old man?" Inuzuka Tsume spoke up, sharp eyes roaming the room. "If he betrayed Konoha like you said, he should be here to defend himself."

"Yes, the accused must be able to contest the claims against them," Aburame Shibi spoke up in his impartial voice. "It is law."

"As I said, he attacked me as witnessed by the ANBU forces. I had no choice but to defend myself. Sarutobi Hiruzen is dead." The volume rose from muttering to an uproar.

"The Hokage is dead?" Akimichi Chouza roared, pounding one huge fist on the table.

Yamanaka Inoichi was quieter, but just as passionate. "Sandaime-sama was one of the strongest in the village. For him to fall…"

Nara Shikaku sat quietly next to his friends, gazing over his fingertips at the table. "Sandaime-sama was passionate about the defense of this village. To defy the laws he helped create to protect his student…"

With five limping steps Danzou moved to the place of the Hokage at the head of the table and sat down. "As the only available candidate for the position of Hokage on such short notice, I will don the mantle of the leader of this village."

Homura spoke up from next to the chair, almost shouting over the clan leaders that were arguing back and forth. "Danzou-sama has the support of both advisors, and that is all that is deemed necessary by emergency laws put in place for this village. As Sandaime-sama died without naming a successor, it is our choice as to who will become the next Hokage."

"I won't accept it!" Tsume snarled, her long nails biting into the wooden table. "The jounin have a say in who becomes the next Hokage by law. I won't choose a stinking rat!"

"While I do not agree with Inuzuka-san's sentiments, I must agree," Hyuuga Hiashi spoke up. "The jounin must have a vote in who next leads the village for the good of all."

A few of the other clan leaders asserted their support of that concept as well. Danzou simply watched, his one eye unreadable, until all had quieted. "To act against the Hokage is treason punishable by death. I will pardon all in this room once, but not twice. If you are found guilty once more, you will be labeled a traitor to Konoha, and therefore punished by imprisonment and death. That is the word of the Hokage."

Complete silence reigned as fourteen sets of eyes watched the new Hokage limp out of the room.


	239. Visits and Whispers

Homework is trying to kill me, but I shall prevail! At least until this story is done ^^; Can't leave you guys hanging after all!

* * *

Visits and Whispers

Naruto blinked his eyes open to a white ceiling, a stark contrast to the blue sky he remember last, right before falling unconscious. Some weird guy in black had attacked him, and he had _tried_ to dodge, but obviously he hadn't done a great job if he was in the hospital again. Well, if it was anything like his last visits to the hospital, Sakura-chan and Sasuke would be in at any moment, berating him for his stupidity and pretending they _hadn't_ cared about him…

The blond sat up, feeling something on his neck pull. He raised a hand to touch the spot and found a pad of bandage over it – when he pressed, it hurt slightly. For Kyuubi to have not healed it yet the wound had to be pretty severe. Speaking of time…how many days had he been out?

A harsh beeping sound cut through his thoughts and Naruto's head whipped around to the source – a bad idea as the wound on his neck sent a bolt of pain through his skull at the action. The door to the room opened and the blonde from that day in the forest – Senju Tsunade – stalked in, green coat billowing behind her. Without so much as a word to the boy she placed both hands on his chest and shoved him onto his back on the bed, ignoring his protests.

"Hey, lady, where am I? What happened?" He remembered her showing up just as the weird guy cut with his sword, but then it was all blank, not even bits and pieces of memory. But that was in Konoha. She wouldn't be in the village…"Where's Konoha?"

Tsunade's eyes glanced at the monitor hooked up to Naruto's chest, reading pulse rate and blood pressure from it, then shining a light in both the boy's eyes and checking other vitals. The pad of bandages on his neck was starting to turn a faint red again, proof he had pulled the wound, but other than that he seemed stable. "You're lucky to be alive," she growled, pushing him back once more as he tried to sit up. "Don't tempt fate by moving." Whirling on one heel, she left the room, leaving Naruto pissed off and frustrated with lack of answers.

He immediately disregarded her second statement. If there was anything wrong with him, Kyuubi would fix it fast enough. Instead, he had to explore where he was, get a sense of the land and find a way out of the place back to Konoha.

Sitting up and swinging both legs over the edge of the bed, Naruto fought off the wave of disorientation that accompanied the move. As he tried to slide off the bed, his left leg buckled and he pitched to the side, muscles tingling, barely catching himself with his hand. So much for standing. With slow movements the boy slid back onto the bed, glaring at the floor as though it was the cause for all his problems.

"Getting adventurous are we?" Naruto hadn't even heard the man come in. With a yelp he spun around – or tried to, and ended up falling over on the bed, legs behind him. The man let out a rumbling laugh. "It must be genetics."

"Why am I here? Where am I? What are you doing here? Where's my team?" Naruto immediately shot off, _needing_ information.

"Your sensei is here, and that's all you need to know for now," Jiraiya replied, crossing his arms and looking at the blond boy sprawled on his bed.

"What's Kakashi-sensei doing here? I want to see him! I –"

"Shut up."

"No! Why should I listen to you? You won't tell me anything!"

"Because if you don't I'll knock you flat on your ass until you don't know up from down." There was nothing in Jiraiya's eyes to indicate that he was bluffing, and Naruto's mouth shut with a snap. "That's better. Now. Do you still have the kunai I gave you?" Naruto gave a mute nod, eyeing the man distrustfully. There was a chance he would go through with his threat if the boy talked after all. "Where is it?"

Naruto reached for the weapons pouch that always hung at his waist – and his fingers met empty air. That wasn't right. He twisted around frantically, trying to see where his weapons had gone, then patted the bed around him, down his legs, his torso, under the pillow…he caught a glimpse of Jiraiya's expression. The man was watching him with a wry grin, then tossed something at the bed. Naruto caught it reflexively, feeling the familiar shape of his toolkit hit his hands. In a few seconds of riffling he produced the kunai and held it out, showing it to the Sannin.

"Good. That kunai belongs to you."

The blond let out a snarl. "You told me that before! But nobody will tell me _why!_ Kakashi-sensei said it belonged to the Yondaime, but why would it belong to me then?"

The white haired man let out a chuckle. "You mean you haven't put all the pieces together by now?" A blank expression met his eyes. "Actually…" he examined the boy, eyes sweeping over his face and hair. "Since you're their son, I doubt you would. It's _too_ obvious for you to recognize."

"What's that supposed to mean? Just tell me already!" He was jittering on the bed, from nerves, excitement, and annoyance. Something that connected him and the Yondaime? The coolest guy in the world after the two Sannin? It had to be great. For a moment he could forget that he was probably in enemy territory, his sensei could be captured, he had almost been killed…

Jiraiya rolled his eyes. "The Yondaime was your father. That kunai belongs to you by birthright."

Whatever he had been expecting it wasn't that. Not that large of a bomb. "I don't have a father."

"Idiot, everyone has a father or they wouldn't be born. I trained yours," Jiraiya countered. "I watched the early stages of the development of that technique, and I know how he used the kunai even if I can't replicate it. I know what I'm talking about."

"But…then…people would know…right?" He didn't like how his voice came out, a bit higher than he wanted and breathy.

Jiraiya growled darkly. "Oh, they knew. At least, a few did. The council members voted that you not be given your father's name, that your heritage be kept a secret from the village and the world outside. If the village knew, you would have been treated like royalty, like that Uchiha brat. Instead, the old fools passed you off as the orphan child Minato chose to seal the fox in. A few whispered lies here and there. 'He could be the fox itself.' 'He'll never have control.' 'It's a demon.'" He watched Naruto's face grow cold at the all too familiar words. "Rumors don't start themselves, they always have a source."

"They knew." Under the blond's light voice there was a snarl. "_Anyone they can't control, they try to destroy. Learn that quick boy, and learn it well._ They meant to kill me."

"Ding ding ding." For the facetious comment, there was no hint of laughter in Jiraiya's face. "You're in Ame right now, boy, and it's the safest place for you at the moment."

* * *

"To be elected as such, without consulting the jounin, is unheard of."

"Ya think he cares about that? Konoha ain't a village anymore, it's a barracks. Free will went out the window the moment he sat in that chair."

"Few of the village is loyal to him."

"At the moment we cannot make a move, not without knowing exactly who his supporters are."

"Let's just overrun the tower and be done with it! He can't take us all out."

"And you think you can battle all his Root forces, woman? We'd be dead before we made it a step closer."

"Just because you don't have the guts, white-eyes…"

"Enough. We must bide our time and gather information."

A voice floated out of the shadows behind the group, and a figure melted out of the wall. "Treasonous thoughts. But one man's enemies are another man's friends." The kunai thrown at the shadow passed right through. "Hasty. I won't harm you or betray you, unless you betray me. Bide your time, and bide it well. Gather knowledge and prepare to strike. When the time is right…" the figure snapped it's fingers and a model of Konoha made out of paper appeared on the table, only to explode into small strips, "Konoha shall be born anew." The torn papers reformed themselves into another village, that was slightly different. It was almost unnoticeable. "Remember." The visitor melded with the wall once more and disappeared.

The group stared at the replica on the table, trying to see what had changed.


	240. Loyalty and Rebellion

Longest one of them yet...so I had 3 guesses as to who the visitor was, and one was correct. See if you can get it this time? ;) Kaiser969 helped me plan it all!

* * *

Loyalty and Rebellion

Kakashi looked out at the indoor training complex inside the sprawling residence Yahiko, Konan, and Nagato called home. Many of their troops had homes nearby, all connected by a maze-like network of tunnels, but the mansion had most of the facilities. There were many Narutos spread out all over the grassy ground, in clusters and groups jabbering to each other excitedly. The boy was working on some new technique Jiraiya had begun showing him after he was well enough to be released from the hospital.

"Impressive, eh?" Jiraiya spoke up from behind him; Kakashi didn't turn around. He had known the man was standing there for a few minutes already, but wasn't prepared to initiate a conversation with the Sannin after their…discussion. "He's a fast learner, must get it from his dad."

"Minato-sensei was brilliant," Kakashi agreed neutrally, watching as a few of the Naruto clones popped and the original stilled for a second, then began running around even faster, shouting more instructions to his clones.

"Oh lighten up." Jiraiya rolled his eyes, slapping the younger man on the back. "I'm not mad at you, I probably needed points like those slammed into my head. But that's all in the past, and the boy in front of us is the one we have to protect _now_. Can you agree to protect him at all costs?"

Kakashi eyed the blond boy that looked so much like his old sensei, down to the blond hair and bright blue eyes. "I can."

"Then we're good." Again Jiraiya clapped the man on the back, an even though Kakashi flinched, he grinned under his mask.

* * *

"I, Hatake Kakashi, do so swear my loyalty to Amegakure and its people. I promise to obey its leaders unconditionally, and to obey all orders without hesitation." He knelt before a simple wooden chair in a small room, upon which Yahiko sat as the leader of Ame. On either side of the chair stood Nagato and Konan, while in the back of the room Jiraiya and Tsunade bore witness to the oath.

"I, Yahiko, do acknowledge your loyalty and accept you into the ranks of Ame. Welcome, Hatake Kakashi." With the formal words out of the way, Yahiko sprang off his chair and sauntered forward, clapping Kakashi on the back. "Welcome indeed. Now, it's time for some food!"

* * *

Two months later, Naruto had been placed on a team consisting of Konan, Nagato, and one of the junior members of Ame, doing a regular perimeter check. Being close to at least two of five major villages, they had to be on constant alert for any activity near the borders.

Naruto was walking along the cliffs near the border of Konoha as the rest of his team spread out behind and in front, looking for any intruders upon their land Nagato's rain could have missed, when he saw a flash of pink and red from the corner of his eye. He turned his head, but it was gone. Passing it off as his imagination, the blond ran a few hundred meters to catch up with Konan, when he caught the same colors again. This time he didn't turn his head, only waited until they showed a third time. The same colors his old teammate used to wear.

"I know you're there!" His yell startled Konan and the other young member of the team, but he didn't care. There were people from Konoha over there, people he _knew_, and he had no intent of letting them slip by unnoticed. "Come out!"

True to shinobi form, not a leaf stirred from his announcement. Naruto grumbled to himself, but formed a surreptitious seal. He had learned to project clones to places further away from his body, and he sent one into Konoha territory, behind where he estimated the group to be. Not a minute later Sakura darted out of the bushes, sending a kunai back at the clone who disappeared in a cloud of smoke, purpose fulfilled.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto cried gladly, taking in his once-teammate's appearance. "What are you doing here?"

Instead of greeting him with a smile, the girl glared at him. "I could say the same of you. They told us you died! And I find you here and alive, on the side of the enemy?"

"W-What? We aren't your enemies! We just…" He trailed off as a familiar raven boy stepped out of the foliage as well, black eyes hard. "Sasuke-teme!"

Instead of replying with the customary 'dobe', Sasuke stared at the Ame team, eyes unreadable. His black hair was longer than it had been, framing his face and falling over the back of his neck, and his previous genin outfit of loose blue and white had been replaced for a tight-fitting black mesh and leather suit. Sakura's hair had been cut much shorter, ending just under her earlobes, and she too wore a tighter set of clothing, although in the same shade of red as her previous dress.

"Sakura-chan, why are you dressed like that? What's your team, where –" Naruto was cut off by Konan putting a hand over his mouth and signaling for quiet.

"There's one more person with them, at least jounin rank," she whispered in his ear, and looked meaningfully at Nagato. His eyes narrowed as he tried to see through the foliage, catching sight of a slight rustle in a tree. "Remember what Jiraiya said about Konoha. Danzou is the new Hokage, they're different now." She would have dragged the boy away by the scruff of his jacket normally, but he needed closure. Just as all of them had after the war…it was just a different battlefield.

"Sakura-chan, why are you serving Danzou?" The blond's voice was softer as he stared across the dividing line of two countries at his once-teammates. "Why have you turned your backs on the teachings of the Sandaime and the Hokages before him?"

She was silent.

Sasuke, however, had no such reservations about answering. "You wouldn't understand, weakling that you are," he spat, eyes narrowing. "You 'died', didn't you? Spirited away by a guardian angel. You didn't witness the _power _of the man. He taught me how to wield the Sharingan, and how to break a bone in a single blow. I've learned more from him in two months than I did in six years with the old school! I'm stronger now than ever, and I'm certainly stronger than _you_."

"So you forget about the man who fed you and gave you a home, who visited class and looked out for you?" Naruto's voice was harsh as a crow's, blue eyes like ice. Sakura fidgeted under the glare, twitching at her pants with one hand as she looked down.

"You wouldn't understand…it was join or die," she whispered, casting an anxious glance behind her at the trees. "He recruited all the shinobi forces, and most of the civilians too. Those who resisted…" she gave a convulsive shudder. "If the're alive now, I wish for their sakes they weren't. He has some of the clan leaders locked up – for conspiracy he says. Konoha's different now Naruto. We don't have a choice."

"We don't need one!" Sasuke overrode his teammate. "We're finally _strong_! And we could crush you weaklings in an instant." He made to step forward, to cross the boundary line, but a black clad figure blurred and landed in front of him, forcibly stopping the boy from entering.

"It is Danzou-sama's will that we do not leave Konoha's territory," the man stated in a monotone voice, slightly muffled by his mask. "Danzou-sama's will is law. If the law is broken, you will be punished." Both genin gave a convulsive shudder at that.

Sasuke leaned around the man and glared at Naruto, who was staring at the 'team leader'. "We'll meet again, dobe. And when we do, you'll be nothing but a smear on the rocks, without laws to hold me back." He spun on a heel and disappeared into the forest of Konoha once more, Sakura casting one last glance back at Naruto before following.

The blond boy let out a trembling sigh, sinking to the ground. He had known things were bad, but Konoha seemed as though it was unrecognizable from the place he had left. Nagato placed a hand on his shoulder, offering silent comfort. He too knew what it was like to have his home ripped from your grasp, changed by forces outside his control.

* * *

Mitarashi Anko paced the large cell restlessly. It wasn't like she had much of a choice to walk to. Move forward, turn to avoid a wall. Turn again, and again…walk in a rectangle. After a month, she was _bored._

"Would you stop that?" The cultured voice belonged to Hyuuga Hiashi, who sat against one of the walls with his eyes closed. There were chakra repressors on both his wrists and ankles, preventing him from using Jyuuken. He had been rounded up as part of the resistance fighting against Danzou. He was honestly one of the last people any of the village expected to take part, thinking the man would hole up in his compound and kowtow to the ruthless leader. Instead he had taken down four Root members on his own before being rounded up as an example with the two of them.

The third occupant of the cell, Akimichi Chouza, was lying down on the small cot he was provided, both arms hanging off the side. He had lost a lot of weight from the lack of food given – the guards didn't really care if they missed a day or not, but his lineage was still apparent in his bulk.

"What are they doing up there?" Anko hissed to herself, though the question was more directed towards her cell mates. "We've been fighting for three months, the lazy bastards should have taken him out by now. It's not that hard."

"You know better than that," Chouza spoke up, voice rumbling in the large stone room. "He has supporters and forces everywhere, and they must avoid being caught. Even if he knows who most are, there must be proof."

Anko growled, but knew he had a point. They had all been taken because they had been 'caught in the act' of doing various things – she had been raiding the library, searching for scrolls confiscated by Danzou. Chouza had been on a scouting mission in the headquarters and been betrayed by a Root member. They never made that mistake again. Hiashi had been in the longest.

"Three of the resistance, locked underground," a voice floated out of a corner, and a figure stepped out of the wall, cloaked in darkness.

"You took your sweet time," Anko turned on her heel and hissed, but backed up when the stranger moved forward. Whoever it was, they were the only link to the outside world the group had. "What's happened?"

"It is almost time, events are moving into place. Konoha has been irrevocably changed." The figure waved a hand and a model of Konoha appeared in the middle of the floor, much as it had at the first meeting of the jounin after Danzou's self-appointment. However this time, Danzou's face was prominent on the mountain, and many of the small shops and businesses of Konoha were gone. In their places were large barracks, meant to hold many troops. "As he overstretches, the rebellion will begin, wiping Konoha clean and starting anew. Pushed from both inside and out," the model crumpled into a ball, "he shall fall. And from the ashes shall rise the new Konoha."

"_When?_" Anko was frustrated beyond belief. The models were all well and good, but she wanted _action_, not just plans.

"Soon." With another wave of the stranger's hand, the miniature transformed into a new Konoha, one with the mountain wiped clean of Danzou's face. "It will be a blank slate, use it well." Then the figure was gone, melted into the shadows and through the wall.

Hiashi let out a long breath, closing his eyes. "Soon. Cryptic as always."

Anko nodded her agreement, but stared at a corner of the cell. "Come out, I know you're there." A small snake slithered across the floor to her, winding up her leg until she picked it up and placed it around her neck. "You heard it all?" The snake nodded once, scaly head moving oddly. "Good. Go tell Nara, leave nothing out."


	241. Plans and Reasons

So after this one, I'm sure you can guess what will be coming next. =)

* * *

Plans and Reasons

Jiraiya looked around the table at the group of people he had assembled. "What do we know about Konoha now?" he asked rhetorically. As the spymaster of the group, he knew more than almost anyone in the room. "Danzou has restructured the troops, conscripting civilian children into learning how to be shinobi and lowering the training time to six months. He has lowered the graduation age to nine, and put all villagers under the age of sixteen in barracks, whether or not they've been trained. He has done away with the council, dismissing all clan leaders from any decisions in the village. It's only a matter of time before he turns his gaze outwards, if he hasn't already. Did I miss anything?"

From his spot a few seats down from Jiraiya, Naruto seethed quietly, fingernails digging into the wooden tabletop. "We should go now! The longer we put off retaking Konoha, the worse it'll be! We can take him, we have the strength."

"Naruto," Nagato spoke up quietly. "Patience is required when planning on seizing a village from the outside. Defenses are always stronger against outside forces than inside."

Sitting next to the blond boy, Tsunade shot out a fist and caught him across the head. "Why do you want to save the maggot-ridden place anyway? It's getting what's been coming for a long time now. And if you go charging in, you'll only get killed anyway, idiot. Then where would you be?"

"For all the innocents!" Naruto protested, eyes not with outrage. "It's not their fault the leaders are corrupt and evil!"

"They chose –"

"Konoha deserves a chance to change, just as the one you gave us." That was Yahiko, cutting over Tsunade's harsh retort. "They're already trying to fight back. Where would we have been, had you and sensei not come back to support us? Ame would be a twisted place, still under the control of Hanzou. Was that our fault?"

The blonde woman didn't reply, instead tracing an invisible pattern on the tabletop with one finger. Jiraiya let the silence linger for a moment before breaking it. "What else do we know?"

"The jounin and clan heads have mobilized all of their available forces – the genin from before the takeover as well as most of the ANBU and chuunin. They also have all the clan members prepared for battle, civilians included, and have created safe rooms. They're just waiting on the signal."

* * *

Nara Shikaku sat at an array similar to Jiraiya's, looking at his forces. The clan heads of the Aburame, Inuzuka, and Yamanaka were gathered around the table, as well as the representatives of the Akimichi and Hyuuga in the absence of those clan leaders. Chouji had stepped up to the plate admirably, playing an instrumental role in persuading his clan to partake in the resistance. He sat with his two teammates close by for support.

Hinata had been deemed the clan leader by proxy in her father's absence, as clan heir. In the months between Hiashi's capture and the current time, she and Neji had come to an agreement, and the two jointly led the clan, although the clan elders still only recognized Hinata.

The others of the Konoha Twelve as the had been deemed were present, all hardened in mind and body than they had been before, except for Sasuke and Sakura. Those two were under Danzou's personal watch, and deemed too risky to let in on any plans. Their group was the youngest and last of the genin from the time before Danzou, and the reminder of what life had been before and what it could be again.

"It has been a month since our last contact with Mitarashi Anko, and the last message delivered was to wait for the signal. We must be prepared at all times to take back our village," Shikaku told the quiet room, serious eyes meeting each pair looking at him. "What is our progress?"

"The barracks for the younger children near the Root tower have seal tags hidden in the woodwork and under the bunks," Tenten spoke up first. "All the kids are ready to move at the first sound of a whistle and they know where to go."

"The rooms beneath the Hyuuga Compound have been cleared out and prepared for when that happens." Hinata had lost her stutter quickly once she had been placed in the position of clan leader, and grown a backbone of steel. "The new Academy students know what to do when they hear explosions."

"The rooms can hold three hundred students and one hundred twenty-five civilians," Neji added from where he sat next to Hinata. "We also have adequate food and water supplies in the case of a siege on the Compound."

Shikaku nodded to show he had taken note of the completion of those preparations, and gestured for someone else to continue. "What about outside the walls?"

"We spread the stories of Danzou to the local farmers," Kiba grinned, showing fangs. "They don't want to sell their grain or produce to Konoha anymore, especially not when Danzou sends people to pay half price. Most of them are moving farther away from the village or go into hiding. The first few…examples…were good incentive of just what he can do."

"The crops shortage is going noticed in the Tower." Kurenai had been accepted as a secretary to handle the paperwork. She hadn't shown the protests that most of the other residents of the village had, and as such was deemed more trustworthy than them. She made a good spy. "The Root barracks have gone short again this month and they sent in a requisition for more crops. Needless to say, it 'disappeared'."

"Kurenai, does Homura come in looking over his shoulder each day now?" Asuma leaned forward and grinned, not a nice expression by any means. "I've heard he doesn't sleep anymore, too afraid of what may come out of the darkness next. Wasn't the last one the ghost of the Sandaime, crying for vengeance out of a cloud of ash?" Her grin matched his for malice.

Gai spoke up next. He had lost most of his exuberant youthfulness when Kakashi left, no longer having anyone to compete with. "We escorted another group of refugees through the tunnels last night, mostly metal workers and their families. Konoha has lost a third of her population at least."

Shikaku turned to Shibi last, asking a silent question. "The scroll to the Fire Daimyou has gone mysteriously missing," the other man told the group stoically. "Reinforcements will not be arriving."

"Very well. We are as prepared as can be for the current time. We –" He was cut off as a loud thump sounded in the front room of the complex. Nothing should have gotten past their spies without an alarm going off, and instantly all shinobi were on edge. They dispersed noiselessly, each moving to surround the room thought to be the origin of the sound.

Chouji's cry of "Tou-san!" startled the ones who hadn't reached the front yet, but when the large boy rushed forward to embrace the figure sitting dazed on the floor, they realized it wasn't an attack. Mitarashi Anko, Hyuuga Hiashi, and Akimichi Chouza sat in the middle of the Nara's front room, looking worse for the wear but alive.

Kurenai was at Anko's side in an instant, checking her friend for injuries, as Hinata and Neji both approached Hiashi tentatively. The other jounin and genin moved forward to surround the released prisoners, questions babbling.

Nara Shikaku stayed behind the throng, taking in the scene. Lying on the floor by the doorway was a white scrap of paper, one he knew hadn't been there before. He picked it up, immediately scanning the words upon it, and grinned savagely in satisfaction.

"It is time."


	242. Battle and Duty

For some reason I feel as though this falls a bit flat, but it seems as though more set up for the battle is required than I thought...Next will be the confrontation with Danzou

* * *

Battle and Duty

Tsunade stood next to Jiraiya at the edge of the forest, deep enough in the shadows of a twilight dawn that they were almost invisible. Behind them was a force of Ame nin, over a hundred strong, waiting for the signal. They were prepared to follow their leaders, leaders that had led them to victory of their own in the past.

"Are you ready?" Tsunade asked, not turning her head to look at the man beside her. She wasn't asking was he ready to fight for the freedom of a village, ready to possibly kill again. No, she was wondering if he was ready to step back into a place that had banished them, thrown them from their home.

He looked at her, answering a question with a question. "Will we ever be ready?" She gave a slight shrug. It was a query she didn't know the answer to. When she had rescued Naruto, it was a mission in her mind, a mission to a foreign village that she happened to know her way around. It wasn't her former home.

She remembered running through the streets, chasing Jiraiya with a fist upraised. Meeting at the front gate with the rest of their team, preparing for yet another boring mission. Finding out their sensei had been chosen as the Sandaime Hokage, and throwing a party for him. Working in the hospital as people looked down on her for her age, despite her medical prowess. Orochimaru's experiments and subsequent abandoning of Konoha. Sensei's sorrow. Finding out Jiraiya had been deemed a traitor for helping three orphans they had found in Ame. Fending off attackers as she insisted it was _her_ research, and they had no right to use it. Running out of Konoha herself, the last of the three Sannin to leave.

"No, I don't think we'll ever be ready."

* * *

Nagato stood next to Konan with their force on the other side of the village from the two Sannin, looking at the village he was about to help reclaim. "Today we shall bring to Konoha the peace that was brought to Ame. We shall pay our debt to those who helped us."

Konan looked at him askance. "We owe Konoha nothing. All they did was harm our friends."

Nagato closed his eyes briefly, considering her statement. "We owe them for what they have done to Tsunade and Jiraiya, as twisted as it is. Without Konoha, Ame would never be free."

* * *

Kakashi and Yahiko flanked the path to the gates of Konoha, staring at the painted wooden doors. Kakashi looked as relaxed as usual, hands in pockets and one eye covered, but there was tension in his shoulders and his mouth was set in a grim line. He was wearing an Ame hitai-ate.

"After Konoha is free, I will release you from your bonds to Ame. You never belonged to us."

The jounin only nodded.

* * *

Inside Konoha teams stole silently through the village, each intent on reaching their destination unnoticed by Danzou's lackeys.

Shikamaru and Genma led a team consisting of Chouji, Ino, Kiba, and Neji through the shadows of the streets, working on flanking Danzou's residence. Gai guided Kurenai, Asuma, Kiba, and Hinata through the tunnels under the village he had come to know so well to get in position near the Root barracks – their job was to stall the forces as long as possible. Groups of two spread out across the rooftops, each with a different destination in mind. Tenten and Anko moved to the barracks of the genin, Hiashi and Chouza to the Academy, Inoichi and Tsume to the Hokage Tower, Lee and Shino to the Hyuuga Compound. Shikaku and Shibi stayed on top of the Hokage Monument, where they could see everything happening in the village and send messages as necessary.

The various clans and other forces of the village in opposition of Danzou were on alert, each waiting in their own compound or barracks, waiting for the signal the attack was beginning.

* * *

Tsunade and Jiraiya looked at Naruto where he stood in front of them, practically vibrating in place. He was ready, determination in every line of his body. "For him?"

"For all of them." They set off the signal.

* * *

Everyone saw the bright beacon as it shot into the sky. If that wasn't a signal, nothing was. The Root members guarding the walls were instantly on alert, searching for invaders in front of them. They never saw the shadows that bound them and knocked them unconscious. When Ame troops swarmed in the gates moments later, they were unhindered by guards. Jiraiya led a part of his force off to the right, splitting through the smaller streets and alleys that hid them from any Root that passed over as Tsunade continued up the main path with Naruto by her side, intent on reaching the main square.

Nagato heard the sound of a blade sweeping through the air and the fall of bodies from behind as he turned around to see a battalion of black-clad figures surrounding a part of his army and decimating them. He signaled Konan to continue on with the charge as he dropped back to help fight the defenders.

Kakashi didn't move with Yahiko's group; instead he prowled the streets, keeping an eye out for any shadows that didn't look right. Root-nin were stealthy, and prone to waiting until an enemy had passed them and their back was turned before attacking. Then he heard the loud roar of detonation tags and saw flames shoot up from near the Academy, and rushed towards the source.

Tenten stood back and rubbed her hands together looking at their work. "That's how you craft an explosion." Next to her, Anko chuckled and clapped the weapons mistress on the back.

"You're learning, brat." They had made sure all of the younglings were out of the barracks and well on their way to the Academy, where others were waiting to direct them to safe spots from the fighting, before setting off the explosive tags. They were trying to get the Root-nin as confused as possible and draw Danzou out of his tower if all went according to plan. It was most of Konoha against the few elite. They refused to lose.

Shikamaru signaled a halt as his team got closer to Danzou's mansion – he had claimed the abandoned Senju Compound as his residence, and the irony of that was not lost on the older citizens. "Neji, can you see anything?" he signaled the Hyuuga forward.

He focused his chakra, veins around his pale eyes bulging as he gazed through the walls and shook his head negative. "No movement anywhere in the compound. There are guards around the main building, eight surrounding and three inside."

"Okay." The Nara let out a long breath, contemplating their options. "We'll have to wait for reinforcements. We can't take them yet."

Gai's team surfaced from the tunnels well behind the Root headquarters. There were already some of the elite members rushing out, no doubt intent on first finding and securing Danzou, and it was their turn to cause a ruckus. The jounin stepped out in front of the doors and gaze calmly at the Root-nin facing him. "I believe it is time for you to stand down." Expressionless masks met his gaze as one member drew a sword. "If you do so peacefully you will not be harmed. Resist and you will die."

Giving up wasn't in the Root lexicon. As one the members in the doorway began an attack only to pause, confused, as plants sprang out of the earth and wound around their limbs. Hinata rushed forward and tapped at their chakra points, closing them off before they could recover. As Asuma and Gai collected the men and women and knocked them unconscious, Kiba launched an attack at the doorway with Akamaru, bringing it and the top two floors crashing down. "They'll have to find another way out now," he grinned, wiping a hand across his face happily as Akamaru yipped. They had moves that were sure to beat out Naruto if they ever saw him again.

* * *

There wasn't a lot of battling going on so far, Jiraiya noted. Most of the Root-nin that had shown up had been dealt with – although they had certainly fought hard, they fell to overwhelming numbers of clansmen and Ame shinobi. He was beginning to wonder how Danzou had ever managed to take over in the first place with so many people against him.

Tsunade ran up next to her teammate, hair mussed from battle but without a cut on her. "They can handle themselves here. I want to find Danzou and the council personally. I have a debt to repay." Jiraiya wholeheartedly agreed, breaking away from his troops and signaling for them to continue onwards. Any enemies they found would fall.

"Lead the way."


	243. Debts and Promises

Battle time! Funny, I planned out parts of this, then switched them around, and changed things and...I actually like it though. And there are parts from Addster and Kaiser969 in this =)

* * *

Debts and Promises

Shikamaru cursed under his breath again as he kept a wary eye on the compound. He knew it was a bad position to be in, waiting not a hundred meters away from the enemy, but they didn't have enough shinobi on their side at the current time to even try a surprise attack on the Root-nin. And everyone knew Danzou's Root forces were never taken by surprise anyway. Next to him, Neji flinched and narrowed his gaze as he scanned through the main house. "Danzou is moving."

Genma's attention snapped to the genin from where he was at the back of the group, standard senbon in mouth. "Are you sure? Where is he?"

"He's…coming out the front door now."

"I know you're out there," came the old man's rough voice, pitched to carry over the ground. "It is useless. In ten seconds, I will be gone, and you will be incapacitated." None of them responded, each instead settling into a stance prepared for battle, in an outwards facing circle with their shoulders touching. "Ten, nine…" In flickers the Root members surrounding the house were gone, appearing and disappearing in front of the group. Shikamaru sent his shadow out in an attempt to capture the shinobi who had appeared in front of him as Chouji deflected the sword from him, but the man was gone before his shadow could connect. Instead, the Nara separated it into tendrils, each seeking attackers to trap.

"Eight, seven, six, five…" Neji was striking out with his fingertips – he had managed to get a total of two solid hits before his enemies flickered away. Ino and Genma were hard-pressed just defending, and didn't have time to execute any moves. "Four, three, two, one."

The black-clad figures all disappeared as eyes snapped to Danzou. The first thing Shikamaru noticed about him was that the patch that had covered the man's eyes for as long as almost anyone could remember was gone. The second was that the eye glowed a blood red. "Genjutsu," Danzou intoned, and suddenly Shikamaru couldn't look away; none of them could. He tried to bring his hands up to form the release sign, but couldn't move. He was paralyzed. For the longest time he stared straight ahead, as Danzou's sharingan eye grew larger and larger in his vision – how had the man even gotten one? Who knew what other surprises he had? Larger…until he was falling into the iris, swallowed by the blackness.

Tsunade and Jiraiya arrived a few minutes later, only to find the team of five Konoha-nin crumpled on the ground and the entire complex deserted. Jiraiya quickly rolled Genma over and checked for a pulse. "They're alive," he reported, lifting an eyelid to glance at the man's pupil. "Under a genjutsu though. We don't have time to free them, not if we want to catch Danzou."

Tsunade nodded seriously, eyes sweeping for any sign of where the man might have gone to. "He'll be trying to escape. He can't fight all of us and still expect to run a village."

"You know who else will be trying to escape?" Jiraiya met her answering grin with his own.

* * *

Homura Mitokado looked out over Konoha as bands of shinobi raced through the street – clan members and Root-nin, ANBU and Ame-nin. Konoha looked like an overturned beehive, and they were out to get the leader. And as a supporter who had helped to put Danzou in office…none of the jounin would let him off lightly, if at all.

His old teammate Koharu Utatane walked up next to him, her eyes nearly lost in the wrinkles that lined her face and her hands in her sleeves. "Do you think Danzou will win?"

He sent her an askance glance. "He won't remain here. How could he win against the village itself?"

She nodded decisively, as though he had confirmed something she already considered. "Then it is time we left as well."

As they both turned, a voice oozed from the shadows of the doorway. "Not so fast." They barely felt the killing intent at first, but it inexorably grew until it was nearly palpable. Council members the two might be, but both were retired shinobi. In a blink each had a weapon in hand, poised for battle. Jiraiya sauntered forward from where he leaned against the wall, a malicious grin on his face. "Now, where were you thinking of running off to?"

"You didn't think we'd just leave you alone did you?" Tsunade's voice floated from behind them, where the window was. She stepped into the predawn light, amber eyes sparkling. "We have unfinished business."

Homura made as though to rush at Tsunade, but Jiraiya raised his hand and suddenly paper flew from all around the room, wrapping the two council members in individual cocoons. "Thank you, Konan."

Tsunade stepped forward again, patting each of the council members on the cheek. "Now, be two good little birdies and stay put while we finish our playtime, won't you? Don't worry, we won't forget you." The two Sannin disappeared again, leaving Konan gazing impassively at her prisoners.

* * *

Their next stop was the head of the Sandaime Hokage, where they knew Shikaku had set up. With barely a whisper they appeared behind him and Shibi, neither of who even twitched at their arrival. "What news?"

"Team Shikamaru is unconscious with a genjutsu near the Senju Mansion," Tsunade's voice ghosted over the rock head. "Where is Danzou?"

Shikaku kept his voice level even as his mind darted with worry for his son. "Moving towards the outskirts of the village, on a direct line with the training grounds." He turned his head to look at the Sannin, and saw only empty air.

* * *

Naruto hummed to himself as he moved along the tree line of the training grounds. He and Jiraiya had spent a whole month working on his capability with traps and exploding tags, and his special mission during the invasion was to set up numerous traps in case anyone tried to escape through the forests and clearings on the edges of Konoha. He had already strung wires through the undergrowth and right above branches to trip up the unwary. Other tags were littered in clearings disguised as leaves for someone to step on.

The blond boy heard the crunch of someone walking slowly through the underbrush as he was tying another wire to a tree root, and paused. Another crunch an another footfall as the intruder inexorably moved forward. If Naruto wasn't mistaken…

A loud bang and flash echoed through the clearing, and in one swift move Naruto was hiding behind a tree, looking at Danzou as he flinched back from the exploding tag. He was clutching at his right eye as though in extreme pain, and didn't seem to notice Naruto's presence. Perfect.

"Hey you! You're the reason I almost died!" the blond boy yelled out, running at the man. Danzou dodged to the side as Naruto punched at him, but didn't seem to be collected enough to fight back. "I owe you something!" He launched a kick towards Danzou's head that the man again dodged, albeit barely, but turned in mid-air and sent his other foot speeding towards the man's nether regions, where it connected with a solid thwack.

Seasoned shinobi that he was, Danzou didn't show any sign of pain but for an immediate widening of his eyes, but Naruto felt great just the same. And it was time to hightail out of the vicinity, because when Danzou _was_ able to attack…

"Nice going, brat," a woman's voice called, suppressed laughter shaking the tone. "Now scram." Naruto needed no further encouragement as he ran past Tsunade, who ruffled his hair as he did. She knew there was a reason to like the boy. "Well well, you old fossil, I'm surprised you can still walk."

Danzou straightened and took his hand away from his right eye, which was streaming with red-tinged tears. The Sannin wasn't surprised in the least to see he had a sharingan in the socket. "You have no business here, Senju Tsunade. You have been banished from Konoha, upon pain of death. As Hokage, it is my duty to fulfill the law."

Jiraiya snorted from next to his teammate. "Of course you'd follow the law when it suits you. There's one stipulation to that decree that you're overlooking." His voice turned deadly serious. "You have to beat us first."

"I don't believe that will be a problem."

"Overconfident asshole, isn't he?" Tsunade asked her teammate lightly. She was building chakra through her body, muscles and nerves vibrating with the urge to move. She could sense Jiraiya gathering himself as well. He nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Overconfidence is a trait that kills the non-careful," Danzou stated, pulling at the wrappings over his arm. As Tsunade appeared behind him, he turned to the side, allowing her fist to whistle past him even as her leg curved around for a kick that didn't connect.

"_Doton: Yomi Numa!"_ Jiraiya called out as Tsunade leapt away, moving to a tree branch as the ground beneath Danzou's feet turned to mud. But the Hokage wasn't there. From behind the only warning Jiraiya had of an attack was the rustling of the leaves, and he darted to the side just as a sphere of wind blew through where he had been standing.

"You were behind exiling both of us from Konoha," Tsunade called out. "You couldn't stand having people that wouldn't listen to you, so you tried to get rid of us!"

"What of it?" Danzou jumped into the air and Jiraiya shot a fireball at him, but on a sharp exhalation the older man changed directions and shot away from both Sannin.

"You will learn," Jiraiya stated, hair curling around him and muffling his voice temporarily as he blocked three kunai Danzou sent at him, "that was the biggest mistake you could ever make, besides killing sensei."

In a sudden move Tsunade was behind Danzou again even as Jiraiya formed a rasengan and lunged forward – Danzou was focused on dodging Jiraiya's swirling sphere and was caught unprepared as Tsunade's fist crashed into his the back of his head, sending him forward. Again he exhaled sharply and flew away from both, but this time there was no relief.

"_Gamayudan_!" A stream of sticky oil spewed from Jiraiya's mouth, covering Danzou from head to toe at the same time Tsunade called out "_Katon: Endan!"_ A ball of fire hit the man, engulfing him in a giant fireball as the oil burned fierce and fast.

"Think we got him?" The blonde woman asked her teammate, landing on the edge of the still swampy mud created by Jiraiya.

"Yeah, we finally settled the debt," he replied, eyes on the burning figure that was quickly becoming no more than ash and metal.

"He should have been able to fight harder."

"Maybe sensei weakened him a bit," Jiraiya shrugged. "He never would go down without a fight of his own."

"Yeah." With a sigh, the blonde woman turned away, and caught a glimpse of black and purple out of the edges of her vision. "Jiraiya."

"I see him." The toad sage's voice was low. Orochimaru had been skulking in the background for a few minutes, but hadn't interfered with the battle. "What do you want, teme?" he called, gathering chakra once more.

"Ku ku ku, can't I just visit old friends?" came the sibilant voice, and Orochimaru slunk out of the shadows. He was as pale as they both remembered, odd purple highlights around his eyes and a cream robe tied at the waist with a large purple sash.

"We know you better than that," Tsunade countered, fists tightening. She would love to take out this other thorn in their side.

"Now now, I'm not here to fight." The sickly smile remained on Orochimaru's face. "I'm just keeping up with current events. One must remain informed, mustn't one?"

Tsunade's eye twitched slightly at that phrasing, but she didn't attack. "You've seen what you need to, leave before I kick you out forcibly."

"Such violence, Tsunade-chan, one would think you've learned nothing in the past twenty years." He ignored her growl. "It seems I'm not welcome here," he began sliding into the ground, "now that Konoha is under new leadership. But no village is ever safe forever…" His voice faded as his head slipped under the soil.

Jiraiya stared at the spot where their third teammate had disappeared. "What do you think the teme meant by that?"

Tsunade sighed. "I don't know, and I don't care. The next time he shows that snake face of his around here though I'm going to kill him." She wasn't exaggerating.

"Around here?" He caught onto her phrasing. "Are we going to stay?" Tsunade looked at him like a deer caught in headlights. "Should we stay? Konoha isn't our home anymore, but…"

She knew exactly what he meant. "It needs our help more than Ame. And we owe it a debt of sorts…"

"We can actually have some say in how it's run."

The blonde woman leveled a finger at her teammate. "Fine. But I'm _not_ living inside these walls. Got it?"


	244. Dreams and Teams

Here we go, a wrap up chapter to it all! I'm slowly posting this separately as "The Outcasts", and after it is all up I think I'll be doing one or two (or maybe more if my brain has a rebellion) oneshots regarding what went on during the four months of Danzou's reign.

* * *

Dreams and Teams

True to her word, Tsunade didn't live within the walls of the village. Instead, she lived with Jiraiya in a wooden house created for the two by Yamato – a wooden house that had plenty of rooms and doors so Jiraiya could escape from Tsunade's wrath when he sparked it. Even then, the mokuton user would be called every so often out to patch up walls and floors from the blonde woman's punches. "It's always his fault!"

They were set up a bit into the forest, next to a stream that ran through the trees so the two Sannin would always have a nice place to relax – and Jiraiya a place to peep if people happened by. Sometimes, his apologetic yells could be heard floating through windows in the village, and people would just smile and shake their heads knowingly. But it was definitely a relaxing life, and both thought they definitely deserved it. Two wars and a rebellion later, it was time to calm down. All they had to do was provide a bit of sagely advice now and again to the new leadership of Konoha.

And what an interesting leadership it was. Kakashi had been offered the position of Hokage once everything had settled down, but had declined it politely. It seemed his stint in Ame had made him want more than ever to just train a team and work with them, not spend each day cooped up in an office working on paperwork. So the job was offered to the next best man – Shikaku. The lazy Nara was halfway through turning it down when his wife showed up behind him and stuck a frying pan in his face. "Nara Shikaku, if you don't take this job, you'll be making dinner every day for the rest of your life!" Needless to say, paperwork was much less of a hassle than making dinner.

More often than not the raven was caught napping on the job, and swiftly brought back to consciousness by Yoshino.

As the Hokage's advisors, not to be confused with the Hokage's consultants the Sannin, Hyuuga Hiashi and Inuzuka Tsume had been chosen. More often than not the two could be heard arguing fiercely about some minor point or other – at least Shikaku got a varied opinion instead of one united front. It also meant that the stock of headache remedy pills disappeared within the first week of his leadership.

Uchiha Sasuke decided that Jiraiya and Tsunade obviously had much more power than Danzou if they were able to beat him so easily, and that _he must learn from them_. Of course, they didn't see how he needed power so he could go and defeat someone so far out of his league it would be like swatting a fly. They didn't care to either. After the fifth time he had barged into their house Tsunade threw him out. Forcibly. Naruto swore the teme had flown all the way to Konoha without touching the ground once. The Uchiha decided that if the two Sannin in residence weren't going to teach him, he would just have to go to the third one. When he 'mysteriously' disappeared one day, neither Tsunade nor Jiraiya was surprised in the least.

When they received a report a few months later that one of Orochimaru's bases had been demolished by a red eyed man who could summon black fire, they figured Sasuke had gotten his wish one way or another.

Team Seven had been briefly reunited before Sasuke left, but there were still all the new genin created under Danzou's reign to place. They did have the necessary skills to survive, and it was decided that placing them back in the Academy would only be detrimental. So instead, they were distributed among the existing teams. Kurenai's team got Moegi, Asuma's team Udon, Gai's team Konohamaru – for which Neji cursed everyone involved in that decision – and team Seven was given Hanabi. The others of that class were distributed among the older teams.

On numerous occasions Hinata had to forcibly remind Naruto that no, killing her little sister was not acceptable, and no, it didn't matter how much of a brat she was, she was _not_ an emo Sasuke wannabe, and he was _not_ allowed to call her teme! During the months the blond had been gone, Hinata had gained more confidence than even Kurenai thought possible, and was capable of standing up to her former crush without even the slightest of bushes.

Of course, the moment Hanabi figured out Naruto was the prankster king and decided to learn from him all she could, was a day the village rued. The villagers swiftly learned to take cover anytime they heard 'dattebayo!' or 'dattebane!' – which Hanabi had decided to shout as her own version of Naruto's nonsense – because it usually heralded one of two things – an explosion of paint or some other substance, or the two miscreants being chased by Sakura, Kakashi, Shikaku, or the ANBU, depending on who they had messed with that day.

Sakura had recovered – mostly – from her ordeal under Danzou, and her crush on Sasuke well and truly broken after seeing just how cruel the boy could be. She was overjoyed to have both Naruto and their sensei back in the village, and vowed to herself to never again complain about anything the blond boy or the jounin did – that vow lasted all of a day, when both walked to their team meeting spot sporting a familiar orange book. One couldn't spend four straight months with a certain toad sage without picking up his reading material, after all. The pinkette made it her goal to never let Hanabi be corrupted by their two other teammates.

Shikamaru and company had been released from Danzou's genjutsu while the two Sannin were battling the Hokage, and seemed to suffer no lasting effects. Almost. The genius kept glancing over his shoulder periodically and muttering something about blondes with fans who were out to get him, but nobody had any idea who he was talking about. After all, there were no blonde women wielding fans in Konoha.

As for Homura and Koharu, Tsunade decided that letting the two corrupt old advisors live was much more of a punishment than killing them straight off. They were handed over to the Torture and Investigation Department and Ibiki's tender care, with the understanding that any and all experimental techniques that needed testing were to be used on them as guinea pigs.


	245. Take Him Back

So here we have a dare from Addster, wanting to see Hana's reaction to a baby Kiba, and Tsume's reaction to that. (Or something like that anyway). Enjoy =)

* * *

Take Hm Back

Tsume sighed to herself as she readjusted her month old son once again in the crook of her arm. "Hana, I've told you, Kiba can't play with the pups yet. He's barely born."

The little girl scowled up at her mother and stomped her foot on the ground, causing all three of the pups that had attached themselves to her to come running. "But kaa-san, he's perfect for them to fetch!"

Tsume didn't know whether to laugh or bang her head against the nearest doorway. Her daughter was obsessed with training the Haimaru triplets as they were known, and saw Kiba as nothing more than a training tool. She didn't seem to understand – or want to – the difference between using a piece of cloth with a scent or her baby brother. "Hana, you can't…" she began, only to be cut off as her own ninken sauntered into the room.

Kuromaru looked around and sat down, scratching behind his ear lazily with a back paw. Immediately he was swarmed by the Haimaru triplets, each trying to nip at him playfully. With great forbearance, he ignored the three pups and looked at Hana with his one good eye. The little brunette girl always adored him. "Hana-chan, there are much better ways to train these nuisances besides using your brother."

She looked at him seriously, brown eyes wide. "But he's smelly, and he makes lots of loud noises! He's perfect!" As though on cue, Kiba stirred in his mother's arm and let out a loud wail that caused the girl to clap her hands over her ears – and Kuromaru to wince. Luckily he had gotten used to such noises quickly with Hana. She had an annoying habit in her terrible two years to bang frying pans together with all the strength she had. "Kaa-san, turn him off!"

Tsume snorted, rubbing her free hand over her face wearily. "It doesn't work that way Hana. What I would give for…" she walked off mumbling to herself, taking the wailing baby with her.

Hana turned to Kuromaru, pleading written all over her face. "Can she take him back?" She didn't _want_ a brother. That meant he was going to get a dog eventually, and it wasn't _fair_! All the puppies were hers, because she was the only child and the nicest and…

"Back where?" He was confused. There was no way Kiba was going back inside Tsume, and he had no desire to _ever_ hear her in that much pain again – or the threats that accompanied it. He was just glad he wasn't responsible for it.

"Back to the baby kennel!" Hana stated as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. And to her, it was. The puppies came from the puppy kennel, so Kiba came from the baby kennel! Duh.

Kuromaru choked on a laugh, wishing Tsume had stayed in the room to hear that comment. But from the smell wafting towards the kitchen they were standing in he didn't want to seek her out – not until Kiba was changed.

"Hana, Tsume got you from the same place she got Kiba." Not strictly true, but…

"No way! There's no way I was ever that ugly!" Hana stomped her foot again and the Haimaru triplets let off trying to climb Kuromaru to run around the girl again, yipping excitedly. "His face is all squashed, and he's red, and fuzzy…"

"He sounds like a ninken."

"Nooooo!" She drew the syllable out to show just how wrong the ninken obviously was. "Ninken are awesome, and he's just…just…Kiba!"

"Very persuasive," Tsume called out from where she was walking back into the kitchen with a much happier Kiba bouncing against her shoulder. "With arguments like that you'll be Hokage in a year."

Hana scowled upon seeing her brother once more. "Kaa-san, put him away!"

Tsume only rolled her eyes and hunkered down to her daughter's level. "Hana, see here. Kiba," she pointed to the baby, "is just like a pup now. He ain't been weaned and can't survive on his own. You know the blind pups in the kennels?" She waited until the girl nodded seriously. Hana spent all of her free time in with the dogs. "He's like that. He can't walk, talk, feed himself, or see, okay? So I need you to take care of him like you would a pup – don't drop him, don't leave him alone. Can you do that?"

"But doesn't that mean he's weak?"

"Hana, right now _you're_ weak." The girl bared her teeth at her mom, who bared her own right back. "You're growing, girl. Give yourself some time to get stronger. Then if you still think you're weak in a few years, we'll talk." Her grin was all fierce pride. "But no pup of mine is weak when they grow up, got it? You got the marks of an Inuzuka, show you got the heart!"

Hana launched a punch at her mother's arm, the one that wasn't holding Kiba. Tsume easily blocked it, wrapping her struggling daughter up in one arm as her other still balanced the baby boy who chortled cheerfully at all the movement. "Kuromaru."

"Yeah, I got it." The ninken walked up and grabbed Kiba by the scruff of his clothing, making sure his head didn't jar. Tsume let go and Kuromaru trotted off with his burden, heading towards Kiba's play mat. That left both of Tsume's hands free to deal with her daughter.

"As for you…" Wriggling fingers came into play, darting for the girl's sides as she howled with laughter that didn't stop as Tsume turned Hana upside down and threw the girl over her shoulder. "Inuzukas show no mercy!"


	246. Long Lost

So this was an idea from Star Josherson - based off her oneshot Nameless Observer, which you should _really _read because it's _really good!_ And it'll help you understand where this is picking up... fanfiction(dot)net/s/7376126/1/Nameless_Observer. Anyway, so this picks up at the end of that and is Tsunade's reaction.

* * *

Long Lost

Tsunade stared across the desk at the man – the stranger – in front of her. He was tall, messy brown hair that was cropped short and grey-green eyes that were piercing straight through her. "Na…Na…" she couldn't say his name. He was dead, he _had_ to be dead. She had _buried_ him for crying out loud. She had the necklace she had given him…the necklace that was cursed…Her hand clutched at it automatically, amber eyes staring fixedly straight ahead of her.

The man in front of her was holding an ANBU mask in one hand and seemed ageless. His body was toned from the requirements of being an elite, and his face was lined, but not aged. If she remembered correctly – who was she kidding, she never forgot – Nawaki would be in his late forties, forty-nine to be exact. How was he still alive after all ANBU required? How was he still alive…at all?

"Na…waki." His name rolled off her tongue strangely, like a forgotten word nobody ever used. "How…who…" She couldn't think enough to formulate a question, she was still centering on the fact _he was alive_.

Her baby brother looked at his sister, eyes sad. With slow deliberate movements he placed his mask down on her desk, face up towards her. Involuntarily, her eyes followed his hand, tracing over the mask as though it had the answers she sought. "I am Fukurou."

Golden eyes snapped back to his face, narrowing in until they were slits. "You were alive," she hissed, all traces of shock gone. In its place was pure anger, and not a bit of betrayal. "_You were alive. _All this time I've been mourning you, wondering what I could have done to change that day, _and you've been alive._ How long have you been ANBU?" Her face dared him to not answer the question, to lie.

"Thirty-seven years."

"Of course." Now her voice was mocking, mouth twisted into a sneer that couldn't quite hide the pain in her eyes, the restless tapping of her fingers. "It was all faked, wasn't it? All a pretty little lie to make me think you were dead. Who was in on it? Orochimaru? Sarutobi? Your team? Jiraiya?" Her voice rose a little higher and higher with each question until it was like a whispered scream.

"I did my duty by the Hokage." ANBU were handpicked by the Hokage, chosen for what they could do, or what they could aspire to. Sarutobi hadn't given him a choice, telling the twelve year old boy on that fateful day he had been chosen for the service, and no one could know his identity.

"To the Hokage." She spat the words. "I knew there was a reason I never wanted this dratted position. But I took it because of _your_ dreams. I did this for you, in your memory. And where were you _Fukurou?_ Watching like a silent owl? Watching me suffer and mourn you? Waiting for the right moment to reveal yourself –"

"I did my duty to this village." He knew what the village had cost her, had watched her grow more and more disenchanted with Konoha over the years as it took and took and took and gave nothing back. But he had spent thirty-seven years of his life working in the service of the village. Now she was back, and maybe some things could be set right. "I do my duty to you."

"I don't want your duty!" Tsunade was yelling and she didn't remember standing up from the chair she had been lounging in before the…man…had entered the room. "I just want my brother back!"

"Nawaki ceased to exist thirty-seven years ago." Or rather, they had tried to erase Nawaki from him, but there were always the vestiges of the boy who missed his sister.

The blonde woman tried to get a handle on the rushing storm of emotions inside her chest. Love, pain, happiness, betrayal, fear, hurt…they were a tangled mess that she couldn't separate. She couldn't deal with it. "Fukurou, don your mask." It was the voice of authority, not a sister talking to a long lost brother, but a Hokage talking to a subordinate.

Immediately Nawaki scooped up his mask from the desk between the two and placed it on his head, covering his face. "What is Hokage-sama's pleasure."

Tsunade drew a shuddering breath, both hands clenching white knuckled on the desk in front of her. "Bring me the classified records of one Senju Nawaki, deceased."


	247. Changes

I tried to make the ending as unambiguous as possible - and to get as much of the emotional turmoil and confliction in as I could. Sorry if it got confusing.

* * *

Changes

One month. It had been one long agonizing month since Tsunade had been instated as the Godaime Hokage, and since she had found out he still lived. He had brought her the classified records as she had asked, pieces of paper detailing his life that didn't officially exist. The elder Senju – no longer the only Senju – had buried herself in the paperwork required to get the village functioning at top capacity again, and tried to forget Fukurou – not Nawaki – existed.

She couldn't.

She would hear a twelve year old laugh and her head would snap to the side, looking for the ghost of the boy she had known all those years ago. She would walk past 'their' bench and look for the thatch of brown hair, unruly as always despite her efforts. He was long gone.

She _knew_ he was old now, just those six years younger than she herself was, but after having pushed back the memories of a twelve year old brother for so long, she couldn't just skip over time. No, it was as though there had been no time between then and now; it felt as though Nawaki hadn't aged at all.

When she looked up at the Hokage mountain, instead of seeing her own face carved into the cliffside, she saw a pink cheeked boy proclaiming his desire to be on that mountain. His finger was extended and his grey-green eyes were sparkling, and she _knew_ he would do it someday, that he would get up there.

* * *

Fukurou perched silently on top of his sister's head. It was odd, knowing that the woman who had so vehemently declared she hated Konoha and would never return – part of which was his fault – had come back to their birth village. It was even odder knowing she had taken control of the place, leading it out of the devastation of an attack.

He was invisible to anyone who might look up at the stone faces, blending in with the shadows from the ease of long practice hiding from unwanted eyes. The ANBU had watched and waited over the past month, just as he had done for decades. Tsunade thought nobody saw when she pulled a ripped and tattered picture out of her nightstand and brushed a finger over he face had once held, mouthing his name silently. She thought nobody saw her weep for the lies spun around a once guileless boy. She thought wrong.

The owl always watched, and nothing escaped his notice. He was the winged night, creeping in to know people's darkest secrets, and keeping them in confidence. He knew of the frightened boy who had been chosen to become an elite – not a choice at all but a pre-determined path. He knew of the sister who mourned for her dead brother, never allowed to watch him grow up. He knew of the holes left in the hearts of both. And he knew of the pain when those holes were torn anew.

* * *

Once again Fukurou stood in front of the Hokage's desk, at attention with his mask firmly in place. Tsunade eyed him, comparing the stranger in front of her to the picture of the twelve year old in her mind's eye. She couldn't see even the smallest similarity between the two. Brown hair cropped short so it was barely visible behind the mask, lean body with no baby fat at all. And his face…"Fukurou, remove your mask."

Even though she had braced herself for the shock once more, seeing her brother was like a punch to the heart. She couldn't delude herself into thinking it was some other person posing as Nawaki. Sure the pink spots on his cheeks were gone, his eyes were flat and emotionless as though he had seen too much heartbreak, and his face was lined and weathered, but it was Nawaki.

"What is Hokage-sama's pleasure?" To her the words sounded scripted and rehearsed.

"Nawaki…" He didn't react to his name, just looking at her with those eyes that she used to be able to read so well. "You aren't twelve anymore." The ANBU was silent, waiting for her to go on. "I…" Damn, why was this so hard? She had read the whole file, all the meticulous notes Sarutobi had kept about her brother's progress. There was no way that man was getting off easy once she joined him wherever he was. No, there was going to be hell to pay for hiding her brother from her. But she couldn't just move on as though he was another subordinate.

"Nawaki, I hereby relieve you of your duties as Fukurou. From this moment forward you are to don the alias Zairu and act as the Hokage's personal guard and advisor." She wouldn't regret this decision. She couldn't. She had to have her brother close to her, even if it meant undoing the work and purpose from three decades ago. "Your duties are straightforward – you will accompany me when I ask, and be my liaison between the office of Hokage and the ANBU. Is that understood?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

She twitched at that. It was like Naruto calling her Tsunade-sama – it rankled. "And stop with the formalities. If you're going to be working with me, just call me Tsunade." The blonde woman couldn't stand hearing nee-san from anyone's mouth – not yet. No, better to treat him as the stranger he was than the boy she had known. They were no longer one and the same.

Was that a ghost of a smile over Nawaki's – Zairu's – face? It was gone before she could tell.

* * *

Nawaki bowed to his sister the Hokage, and picked up his mask as he left the office. He didn't have to hide anymore. Nobody would know who he was except that one important person. And now that Tsunade knew, who could tell what the future held? The hidden smile on his lips widened. He would finally get to know his sister all over again.


	248. Winner Takes All

This is for a friend's dog, Pai. So most of Akamaru's experiences in here are based in some way on hers. =) Let the Pai channeling begin!

* * *

Winner Takes All

Five year old Kiba looked at the puppy in front of him, then up at his sister. "And he's really mine?"

Hana laughed, knowing exactly the feeling of incredulous joy her brother was experiencing, having gone through it with her own three companions. "He walked up to you, he's yours."

"Promise?" There was a wistfulness in his tone as Kiba's chubby hand reached out to stroke the pup, brushing over white fur.

"Promise. Forever."

* * *

Akamaru whined again as he paced the dark kitchen, waiting for his master to come home. He had gone out without the pup, running off to get into some mischievousness that "you can't come for Akamaru, you can't run fast enough and I can't carry you."

The pup had whined piteously and scratched at the door as Kiba left, but the nine year old wasn't going to cave. He had an important mission and there was no way he was going to get sidetracked. Anyway, by the time he got back, Akamaru was sure to be asleep.

Kiba pushed open the door to the kitchen quietly, knowing his mother and sister were asleep. He had a curfew – he wasn't allowed to leave the house after midnight, and two in the morning certainly qualified. But with luck nobody would –

Loud yapping shattered the silence as Akamaru launched himself at the nine year old, not nearly big enough to bowl his master over, but definitely scaring the boy. "Akamaru!" he whispered harshly, catching his companion as he continued to bark. "Shush! You know what will happen if Mom catches me!"

"Yes," came a low voice, hoarse with sleep and an undercurrent of restrained violence. "What will happen if Mom catches you?"

Kiba gulped, raising his head to look at the woman standing in the doorway to the kitchen, arms crossed and one foot tapping on the floor. "Ah…" Akamaru whimpered and buried his head in Kiba's shirt, not wanting to see or hear what would come next.

* * *

Akamaru followed the pig in front of him curiously – it had a shiny necklace of pearls around its neck, and certainly seemed to know where it was going. Tonton pushed open a door with his nose, sounding "Puhi puhi" as he did so. He knew his mistress was somewhere in the room…he just had to find her.

Akamaru followed obediently, having been bored of sitting in a room watching Kiba write a report for the Hokage. He sniffed, using the nose that had been trained by the Inuzuka clan far past what a normal dog could smell. Wasn't that the Hokage ahead of them? And with something else…

Tonton scrunched up his nose as he took in the smell that permeated the air around Tsunade. She was surrounded by some white bottles and a few white saucers as well, full with some mysterious clear liquid, swinging one of the bottles between her hands lazily.

Akamaru looked first at the pig that was settling itself in Tsunade's lap, then at the saucers on the floor. It was just water, right? Sure it had a funny smell, but it was clear. And he was thirsty. Approaching the dish, he sniffed again, trying to figure out what the smell was and failing, then sticking his tongue into the liquid tentatively. If it was by Tsunade it wasn't poisonous obviously.

It tasted funny, and it was thicker than water. But it wasn't unpleasant, and he was definitely thirsty. So he lapped a bit of it up. Then some more. And some more until it was almost all gone and Tsunade looked over at him. "Hey, you! Scat!" she growled, waving a hand at the pup half-heartedly. "That's not for you, it's a waste of perfectly good sake."

Sake. Was that was it was called? Well, he wasn't thirsty anymore anyway. Staggering away from the saucer, Akamaru was surprised to find out his paws didn't work quite right. The right two kept tripping each other up, and his left forepaw just didn't want to move forward…

"Akamaru!" Kiba's rough voice sounded, and two hands scooped him up to be placed on top of a familiar head. "I've been looking all over for you, boy! Why'd you wander off?" He yipped plaintively, expressing his boredom. "Yeah? Well lets go home now, I'm starved." Akamaru could agree with that.

When they got home the world seemed to be spinning, and Akamaru didn't know up from down. So when two large hands came up and transported him to the ground, the pup leaned a bit to his right into something sturdy. A nice tree, surely. Well, he definitely had to pee. So he did just that, raising a leg and watering the convenient tree. That talked.

"_Akamaru!"_ Kiba's outraged and startled yell shocked the pup in his drunken state. Oops. He had done something bad. When he did something bad he had to go! With that thought in mind the white ninken made for the stairs as fast as his coordination would allow with only two stumbles, and ran into Kiba's bedroom, diving under the bed to the furthest corner. He had been bad. He was going to stay there until they forgot he had been bad.

* * *

Akamaru prowled the house, not at all satisfied by his last meal. The dog was huge now, able to reach the table with ease, and while he knew better than to eat the people food off the table or Tsume would get him, he was just _so hungry_. It was Kiba's fault if he left the food there unattended anyways. What was his masters was his too.

Kiba had nabbed a plate from the kitchen and served himself up some chicken then been called away, placing the plate on a low table in the main room. Perfect. The big white dog could smell the tasty aroma of perfectly cooked chicken, lightly seasoned, and his mouth watered. Kiba wasn't there. Sure he'd suspect Akamaru but he'd have no proof. Not if he acted fast.

Just as Akamaru lunged at the plate, swiping up the chicken in one bite, Kiba trotted back into the room, catching the dog mid-act. "Akamaru!"

Uh-oh, he knew_ that_ tone of voice. Still chewing on the chicken firmly in his mouth Akamaru made for the stairs and the bad place. He hadn't had to go there in years, but he still knew exactly where it was. He turned a corner, claws slipping on wooden floors as he raced into the room, closely followed by Kiba, and dived under the bed, making for the corner.

Or tried to. Halfway under, he got stuck, head and front paws under the frame while his back, tail, and back paws stuck out from under the bed. Kiba stopped running and stared at his friend and companion, stifling back a laugh. The big dog looked as though the bed had fallen on him, back paws scrabbling for purchase to push himself further under the bed even as he munched on the chicken to try to swallow it. Just in case Kiba got him out and tried to reclaim his meal.

The laughter got the better of the man as he full out laughed, falling to the ground and holding his stomach. The noise drew Hana who had been in the workroom nearby, who stopped upon seeing the white rump that stuck out from under Kiba's bed and sending a glance at her younger brother. "One day he'll figure out he can't fit under there," she quipped, raising an eyebrow. "Are you going to help him?"

Kiba wiped tears of mirth from his eyes. "Nah, he'll get out eventually. Anyway, it's his punishment for stealing his own dinner."


	249. Masks

Freewolf17's idea

* * *

Masks

Kakashi looked through the eyeholes in his mask at the mirror in front of him. A white immobile face stared back at him, red and black lines marking the image of an animal. As ANBU, he was required to wear the mask, to conceal his identity. But it went so much further past that. He was one of a faceless number, recognized only by markings, without a personality and without distinction.

He slipped the ceramic off his face, looking at the man that lay beneath it. Silver hair, a black eye that was slightly hooded and held no expression, a blue mask covering the lower half of his face, a black headband covering his left eye. He was known as Kakashi.

He put on a smile, feeling the corners of his mouth turn upward underneath the mask even as his eye squinted shut. This was the face people saw when they looked at him. It was the face he put on to show the world, a covering of happiness that hid his true feelings.

One would think that being in ANBU would be easiest – he would never have to hide his expressions and show different ones, and he wouldn't have to act cheerful. But Kakashi knew better. Behind that white mask was a soldier, one expected to do their duty with no regrets and no outward signs of emotion – it was the hardest mask of all to don.

He looked down at the mask in his hand. He had been identified by the piece of ceramic for seven years, creating an identity behind it until he was feared for his skills and his lack of remorse. Every ANBU had a codename to their mask, and to all but a few select, that was how they were known. But it meant pulling on two masks every morning – the one that was Kakashi, and the one that was ANBU. It had been too long and was getting too hard, it was time to shed a mask.

Slipping the identity over his face, Kakashi moved lightly through the halls of the building he lived in, then out onto the street to mingle with the others who wandered through Konoha. In mere minutes he was outside the Hokage Tower, checking through the window to make sure the Hokage was alone before entering without a sound.

Sarutobi looked up as he entered and Kakashi stood at attention in front of the desk. Without a word, the ANBU reached up and slid the mask over his head, shedding the identity. In one fluid movement he placed it face up on the wooden surface, eyeholes looking at the elder man, before leaving just as silently as he came. It was the unspoken code between the leader of the village and his forces when an ANBU wanted to retire from the position – no questions asked, no explanations given.

Somehow he felt lighter walking along the street, hands in pockets as he moved through the crowds. He knew his destination – there were two people who had to be informed of his decision.

The clearing of the Memorial Stone was empty when he arrived, for which he was grateful. He didn't need anybody to be around when he dropped his final mask and became the person he had been since he was twelve. A man ridden by guilt and sorrow, never forgetting the past. Blaming himself for the death of his comrades and his teacher, his friends and family. There was one mask he had always worn throughout his life, and it was a piece of cloth covering his face.

He relied on it, trusting it to make sure nobody could read his expressions easily. Most of his face was covered, and it was the easiest mask of all to don. After all, a person can only have so many layers to hide themselves from others.

He was getting tired of wearing so many.


	250. Protect

Thanks to Addster for the dare and Kaiser969 for the idea of the gift

* * *

Protect

Itachi closed his eyes as he heard the screams once more. He knew what they meant, had been briefed on what his mother would be going through very soon. After all, he was one of the geniuses of his generation, and had a full grasp of the process.

That didn't mean he liked to hear her in pain.

His father was off on some mission, and Itachi himself had been kicked out of the main house by bustling midwives who insisted it was the women's domain at the current time, and surely he could go amuse himself somewhere else. The five year old was a little miffed. But one of them had also stuffed a wad of notes into his hand and distractedly told him to "go buy something", and perhaps that wasn't such a bad idea. He didn't have anything that he wanted for himself, but surely he could get his soon-to-be baby brother something nice.

It was with that mission in mind that Itachi set off through the clan compound, waving to those of his family who were outside tending their yards or mending their houses, each knowing what was happening up at the main house and wanting gossip.

"Itachi-kun, has he arrived yet?"

"Itachi, do you know what they plan on naming him?"

"Are you excited to be a big brother?"

He nodded to each and smiled politely, but kept his mouth firmly shut. There was family, and there was _family_, and he wanted his brother to belong to just the three of them for a few moments at least. Well, except for the woman at the corner house, who was always nice to him and made sure to have some fresh treats each time he stopped by.

"Itachi-kun, have you gotten him anything yet?" She sent him a knowing smile when he stopped and looked at her, small hand tightening around the notes.

"I was about to," he replied, nose twitching slightly as he smelled the scent of baking…something. She knew he didn't like sweets, so the woman who was like a grandmother to all of the clan would make buns instead. His stomach betrayed him, letting out a low rumble as he hadn't been able to eat before being hurried from the house.

"Would you like some, Itachi?" She sent him a gentle smile when he shook his head no.

"Thank you, but…"

"But you want to get it for him before he's born," she finished. "The buns will be here when you get back."

The five year old bowed politely to her before continuing on his way, nodding to each of the gate guards at the entrance to the compound. They let him through knowing he was allowed out of the compound unsupervised, which was rare for his age.

It was a quick trip to the marketplace, where the raven spent a few minutes deciding exactly which shops he wanted to go to first. The item would have to be something that wasn't too small that the baby could put it in his mouth and choke, but easy enough to grasp.

That meant small balls were out, and anything with parts, so he immediately discarded the toy shop. There were probably enough baby clothes in the house to keep his little brother warm for the next year without doing laundry, and he didn't know what to get clothes-wise anyway.

But maybe…Itachi moved towards a shop he normally wouldn't be seen in at all, having no use for the merchandise. A stuffed animals store. Inside the windows were piled with bears, lions, dragons, and almost any animal a small child would like to curl up with. They also took custom orders.

Itachi approached the counter silently, standing a bit below the mantle. The shopkeeper had seen the door open, and leaned over the counter to look at the boy. "Can I help you?"

The boy looked up at the man, and lifted a dragon he had picked up on his way to the front. "Can you embroider the Uchiha symbol onto this dragon?"

The shopkeeper blinked once, took in exactly which kid was talking to him, and looked at the dragon. "Sure, it won't take me more than an hour. You got the money?" Itachi silently displayed the notes in his hand. "Great. Come back in a bit and it'll be done."

Itachi didn't leave the shop, content to sit by the window and watch people pass by outside, pairs of siblings holding hands and dragging each other through the marketplace, parents walking by, shinobi strolling along casually. He was used to being patient, so when the shopkeeper called to him after almost fifty minutes, the raven shook himself out of his trance and moved to the counter again. He silently handed over the money and received the dragon in turn, then left the shop with the same measured pace he had entered with. His mother's labor should be over soon.

By the time he got back to the compound it was nearly deserted, everybody having given up on receiving any more news until Fugaku came home. He could still smell the buns though. This time when Itachi got to the door, he was welcomed in by one of the women who had arrived to help his mother, smiling down at him. "She's in the master bedroom with your brother if you'd like to go see them, Itachi-sama."

He nodded slightly to her and moved through the house, bare feet scuffing on the wooden floors. The door was open and he could see his normally serene mother lying in the bed looking rumpled with a bundle in her arms. "Itachi, come here," she called upon spotting him in the doorway. The five year old obeyed, approaching the bed and getting a better look at the baby. His hand was still clasped tightly around the dragon.

The baby had pale skin, already losing the traces of red it contained, dark black hair that seemed to be very fine, and black eyes that were staring aimlessly at the ceiling. "His name is Sasuke," Mikoto broke the silence, looking at her elder son. He seemed entranced by the newborn.

Solemnly the raven lifted his arm and placed the item on the blanket next to his squirming brother. It was nearly as big as Sasuke was, and a deep black with the Uchiha symbol on its back. As one wing tickled along the boy's fist, Sasuke's hand opened unconsciously and closed again around it, eliciting a happy sigh from Mikoto. "I think he likes it Itachi. Thank you."

The now elder sibling looked at his brother, up at his mother, then back down again. "I will protect him and make him happy."


	251. Dreaded Tests

_Don't_ kill me for bringing math into it! Please? After four exams in a week, I swear tests are the only thing floating around in my head, and two of them are math based. So that explains that. Thanks to Kaiser969 and Freewolf17 for the development =)

* * *

Dreaded Tests

Naruto stared at the test in front of him, then at the other kids around him who had started scribbling furiously the moment they had been handed the papers. There were _words_. He knew how to read sure, he even enjoyed reading. But for some reason, whenever he was in class, whatever question or explanation was on the page made absolutely no sense.

He sent another nervous glance around the classroom and picked up his pencil, tapping it lightly on the tabletop in front of him. As his eyes wandered he saw the proctor for the class glaring in his direction and flinched, head immediately lowering so he couldn't see the man. He was one of the many Academy instructors and villagers who hated the blond for no reason Naruto could determine. He hadn't even pranked the man!

He read the first question – and read it again brain trying to decipher the meaning of the text. "What is the velocity at which a kunai is thrown if it hits a target 100m away ten seconds after being released?" _Math._ It was like a curse word to him. For some reason, Naruto could _never_ keep those math formulas in his head, let alone solve anything with them.

He looked at the paper, then down at his hands. Maybe he could use his fingers…

* * *

Shikamaru sighed as the teacher passed out booklets of paper. It was _another_ test. Out of all the days he came to the Academy, he hated test days the worst. In class at least he could sleep and tune out the instructor, and Iruka had gotten quite good at ignoring the boy until he wanted to ask a question – and Shikamaru could answer it flawlessly. He didn't see why he had to come to class to begin with if he already knew the answers, but his mom had kept yelling at him and he hadn't gotten a moment's peace…it was easier to come to escape her nagging.

Maybe he could sleep here instead of the test…after all, when he actually started it, the thing wouldn't take very much time for him. So all he had to do was wake up five minutes before time was up…

The raven lay his head down on his crossed arms, welcoming the blessed blackness upon his eyelids, and had just started to drift off when a heavy hand came down on his shoulder. "Oi, you, start the test already. It's mandatory."

_Crap_. He raised his head lazily, blinking up at the man who was subbing for Iruka with not a little resentment and annoyance. "I'll do it." His head thumped back down onto his arms.

Apparently that wasn't good enough. "Now, boy, or I'll make sure to inform Iruka and your parents. Pick up that pencil and start writing."

Shikamaru grumbled under his breath, but raised his head and uncrossed his arms. It was definitely less trouble to take a test then to have to listen to one of Mom's lectures again…and after he finished he could go to sleep.

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto and Nara Shikamaru stood side by side in the Hokage's office, looking at the man in front of them with equally bored expressions. Behind her desk, Tsunade was resting her cheek on her fist and trying – not very hard – to not doze off.

The headmaster of the Academy, who was answerable directly to his very bored Hokage, coughed once more before continuing on with his lecture. "As you two have been chosen to become new instructors at the Academy, and I know Iruka put in a good recommendation for both of you or Hokage-sama would not have chosen you…" here glanced at the blonde woman who's eyes were currently closed and cleared his throat again, "you must become acquainted with the rules and regulations that come with being a teacher. First, attendance is mandatory. If a child skips once, they receive a warning. A second time, and they receive detention. A third time, and the parents are notified…" he trailed off as Naruto let out a snort. "Is something funny?"

"Oh, nothing, we just know all about the punishment system already. You could call it studying ahead," the blond assured him, stifling a grin. He waved his hand. "Go on, go on."

"Well then," and the man let out a small sniff of disapproval. "Testing occurs every two weeks on the subject matter that has been taught, and we already have pre-created and approved tests for each class. It is up to _you_ to make sure the material is taught so the students are prepared for the test. Understood?" Out of…somewhere, he produced a sheaf of papers. "These are the tests for the year." He divided the papers in half and gave the two piles to Naruto and Shikamaru. "I suggest you make yourselves familiar with it."

Tsunade stirred herself slightly, eyes striving to adjust to the brighter light as she looked at headmaster. "Thanks, Jiro, that will be all for now. You can go back to the Academy. I'll make sure these two learn the rest."

He sent a dubious look at the two males who were now glancing around the room and stifling yawns, then at Tsunade. "If you say so." He brought out one more thing. "This is the history textbook. Use it." Jiro pushed it into Naruto's hands and left the room.

"Baa-chan, why do we have to do this again?" Naruto immediately whined, sending puppy dog eyes at Tsunade. "Can't we just…do D-ranks or something?"

"Nope, we need more teachers, and you two fit the bill," Tsunade told him ruthlessly, then glanced at Shikamaru who was glaring at the tests in utter disgust. "Something wrong?"

"These are worthless piles of crap," he told her bluntly, handing his stack to Naruto. "If you want them to learn, don't test them."

"Hey, I don't make the rules –"

"Yeah you do!"

"Okay, I do make the rules, but I can't do anything about it. The council would have to approve any changes to the curriculum."

Naruto examined the papers and textbook again, then got a gleam in his eye. "Well, he knows we got these, so he can't know we're not using them. How about…" he grabbed the whole stack of tests and the book, placing them in a pile on the floor. "Kage bunshin!" A clone of the blond popped into existence and grinned at his creator. "Plan?"

"Plan." Naruto held out his hand and the clone's began to dance around it, a blue ball slowly beginning to form.

"Hey, Naruto, what are you doing?" Tsunade protested, standing up from her chair. "You can't…"

"Rasengan!" Naruto drilled his hand straight down at the papers and tests, and a flurry of white paper snow began to flutter about the room. "That's better. Nobody has to know." He flicked a finger along the side of his nose and grinned at Tsunade and Shikamaru. "Ja ne."

Shikamaru watched the blond walk out the door and shook his head in admiration. A neat solution to a horrible problem. Tests were the bane of his existence, as was structured teaching…"I'll be going too, Hokage-sama. Goodbye."

As he walked out of the room contemplating exactly he was going to get away with recess-only day _every_ day, he heard Tsunade yelling out behind him for one or both of them to come back, and _clean up the mess they had made in her office!_ He whistled cheerfully to himself. Maybe it wasn't going to be so bad after all.


	252. Chocolate Woes

So I was eating chocolate...yummy, by the way...when I thought, what would happen if Naruto was given chocolate? Which then changed to, what would happen if Tsunade was given chocolate as a kid? And this was born.

* * *

Chocolate Woes

Tsunade pouted, making pleading puppy dog eyes up at her grandfather who was standing in the kitchen, one hand in the sweets cabinet. "Pwease?" She deliberately lisped, knowing it added to her cuteness, and that the most powerful man in the nation…couldn't resist it.

"Tsunade-chan…" His voice was desperate, she could hear it cracking with the strain of not giving his granddaughter her way. "It's almost lunch time."

"But I'm hungry now!" She turned up the cuteness factor just a little more, winding one small hand in a pigtail and lowering her head. "But if you say so…" She could _hear_ his resolve shatter as Hashirama let out a low sigh. _Bingo_.

"Fine." Withdrawing his hand from the cabinet, the Hokage placed a bar of chocolate on the counter in front of him before fetching his own secret pleasure. Tsunade watched with narrowed eyes as he unwrapped the bar and broke it into bits, which he put in a bowl, before crouching down in front of her. The blonde's eyes never left the chocolate. "Remember, you can't tell your parents or your uncle about this, okay?"

Keeping the pleading expression on her face, Tsunade reached out both hands for the bowl and felt her grandfather's resistance about handing over the sugary treat. More action was called for. "T'ank you!" Hashirama couldn't help the happy grin that spread over his own face at his granddaughter's pleasure. He was a sucker for kids. His hand let go and immediately Tsunade scurried off, hunched over the chocolate.

Wait, was that an evil cackle floating back?

* * *

"It wasn't my fault, I swear!" were the first words out of Hashirama's mouth as his brother stormed into his office, his normally white hair bright green.

"Oh?" Tobirama's voice was deceptively calm. "Because to my way of thinking, spawning that little hellion you call a granddaughter is most _definitely_ your fault. Why exactly did you have to continue your genealogy?" One hand was clenching and unclenching unconsciously while the other dragged on a lock of hair, checking it's color _again_. And for some reason Hashirama thought it was slowly – very slowly – turning _blue_.

"Because if we left it up to you we'd be the last of the family?" he quipped back, getting up from his desk to go stand next to his brother. "Is your hair changing color?"

Tobirama pulled at the strand that was hanging next to his eyes and stared at it. "Your granddaughter," Hashirama noticed he didn't call Tsunade his niece as usual and it reminded him of their parents, "decided it would be fun to dye my hair _pink_. But since then it's gone through every color of the rainbow. And I don't know _how_ she died it pink, because she didn't _put anything on my head!"_ He sounded like a man who was trying to grasp at sanity and failing – dreadfully.

"I don't see what this has to do with me," Hashirama began, only to be cut off by his brother's finger swinging around to poke him harshly in the chest.

"I'm getting there. Now." He drew in a breath and let it out slowly. "Do you know what Tsunade was doing two hours ago? Don't answer that," Tobirama raised a hand to forestall the Hokage's answer. "She was bouncing around the family room licking _chocolate_ off her hands. Now. All of _us_," and he waved an arm in the general direction of the rest of the village, "know better than to give her sweets." His eyes narrowed on the now slightly cowering Hokage. "But _you_, she knows you're a sucker for puppy dog eyes. So I know you gave her chocolate. And because you're responsible for this mess, it's only right that you have to deal with her and clean it up."

"But I have work," Hashirama protested weakly, shooting a glance at the desk piled with papers. "I can't just…"

"I'll take over work here," Tobirama placed both hands on his brother's shoulders and steered him towards the door, "while you go fix home. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll be getting more done here than you will there." With a shove to the small of his back, Hashirama found himself out in the hallway with the door shut firmly and locked tight behind him.

"Coward!" the brunette shouted at the wood, trying to provoke a response from his brother. Nothing. "This would have worked out much better if I could just stay in the office…" he mumbled to himself, beginning the long – and very slow – walk back to the Senju Compound. The longer he took to get there, the more chance Tsunade's sugar high had worn off, after all.

No such luck.

He could hear the hyper screams well before he approached the main building, and the accusing glares sent his way by those few remaining of the old Senju Clan really weren't helping. They seemed to say 'This is your mess, you clean it up'. He didn't want to clean it up. Wasn't it his responsibility as a grandfather to spoil his grandchild rotten then leave the parents to clean up the mess? But no, obviously not in _this_ family.

When he stepped foot into the house he shared with his daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter…he covered his eyes and winced. The walls had _not_ been changing rainbow colored before he left, and neither had the upstairs mattress been laying on the stairs like a sled…and his blonde granddaughter had _not_ been dancing in a circle in the family room chanting at the top of her breath with what looked like chocolate smeared across her cheeks as war paint.

"Have mercy on me…" No mercy was forthcoming.


	253. Everything Has a Price

Continuation asked for by Addster...took a different route than I first expected. My favorite line? Potato.

* * *

Everything Has a Price

Tsunade watched the three adults in the other room warily. They stared just as cautiously back. The blonde girl was poised in the middle of the living room, bouncing up and down on the couch almost absentmindedly as she dipped her fingers into the bowl of chocolate in front of her and brought them to her mouth.

"You just _had_ to give her chocolate," Tobirama said for the fifth time in as many minutes, eyes never leaving his grand-niece. "Besides, this is supposed to be _your_ mess, so why are we here?" He gestured to himself and Hashirama's wife Mito who was standing next to the two brothers, ignoring them. The redhead was engaged in a staring match with Tsunade, eyes following the girl up and down as she bounced.

"Because if I try to catch her, she'll just escape," Hashirama explained patiently – again. "It'll probably take all three of us to catch her in a corner and calm her down."

Tobirama raised a skeptical eyebrow, shooting a glance between the blonde adolescent and his brother. "And this takes three _very_ strong shinobi…why?"

Hashirama pinned his brother with a stare. "You want to kill her?" Tobirama's mouth opened, and closed again without speaking. "Point. I'd use mokuton, but I'd probably ruin the house and Mito would kill me."

"Dead right," she interjected, one hand snaking out to the side and pulling on Hashirama's long hair. To his credit he didn't even wince, just narrowed his eyes slightly.

"She's got you whipped!" Tobirama laughed, only to cut himself off with a yelp as Mito appeared behind him and kicked him firmly in the back.

"Thanks for volunteering to go first," she smiled sweetly at him when the white haired man turned around to glare at her. "Now shoo and get your niece."

He grumbled at her, but obeyed the woman of the house and faced his niece who looked ready to bolt at the first sign of being approached. "Hey, Tsunade-chan, what are you eating?"

She grinned at him, showing teeth covered in brownness and waving chocolate covered fingers as her other hand held onto her precious bowl. "Potato!" It was all Tobirama could do to keep from slamming his head against the nearest surface. Did she _really_ think they would believe that? She knew she wasn't allowed to have chocolate after the last time.

"Tsunade, you know better than to lie to me." He tried to keep his voice stern, but one corner of his mouth kept creeping up. She looked so…cute – damn if he would let his brother know he was even thinking the term – with those wide brown-gold eyes and that innocent smile on her face. That is, until it morphed into a gleeful grin.

"Tag!"

"What?" He was startled by the change of topic before Tsunade ran past him, headed for the kitchen. "No!" He made a grab at her that she avoided, her child's laugh tinkling behind her. "Tsunade, come back!"

"Catch me!" she giggled, voice echoing around the corner; she was already long gone into the large complex.

Hashirama sent a withering glare at his brother. "So easy you say? You just let her escape, now we're going to have to hunt her down."

Tobirama rolled his eyes and brushed his brother off, waving a hand negligently. "Just let her run around upstairs for a bit, and she'll get off the sugar high eventually. No big deal."

Both adults turned to stare at the man who was more of a child than his grand-niece sometimes "Do you have any idea what is up there she can get into?" Mito asked, voice level despite her disbelief.

"She's up there all the time…"

A resounding crash and more laughter broke the conversation abruptly. Hashirama hit his brother in the back of the head harshly and strode past him to the stairs, stepping purposefully over the mattress still lying there. The rainbow walls – that they still hadn't found a way to change back even though Tobirama's hair had reverted to its natural color – cast colorful lights across his face as he climbed.

There really weren't too many things a child could ruin upstairs. They had child-proofed the house five years ago when Tsunade was born, and kept it that way since. But an inventive girl like his granddaughter could always find things to trash, no doubt. He followed the sounds as they led down the long hallway that bisected the house, through a few rooms with sparse furnishings…and into the master suite he shared with Mito. Sure, Tsunade knew how to get in there easily, but there wouldn't be a reason to go in there unless – she couldn't have.

He quickened his pace, hearing his wife and brother hurrying behind him, trying to catch up. He didn't wait for them to catch up. He had to check and see that she hadn't…

The three rounded the corner that opened out onto the bedroom itself and stopped. Tsunade lay in the center of the floor laughing ecstatically, surrounded by what looked like pieces of wood upon first glace. A second showed a hole in the wall behind the bed, and more 'wood' strewn across it.

"Hashirama…" Mito turned to her husband fire in her eyes. "You promised you had gotten rid of that."

"I…" he began backing away, only to bump into his brother. "It's Tobi's fault! He got them for me for my birthday!"

"Hey, leave me out of this!" Tobirama protested, shoving his brother back towards his wife. "It's not my fault you couldn't resist it!"

The sound of tearing paper broke up the argument before it could continue, and three pairs of eyes fixated on the blonde who was tearing eagerly into the prize that surrounded her.

"You know we're not going to get her calmed down for the next week?" Hashirama asked hopelessly, not bothering to make a move to stop his granddaughter. It was hopeless now. Any move on their part would only compound the problem.

"It's a good thing her parents are out of the village," Tobirama agreed, watching Tsunade take a huge bite of the special chocolate imported from Snow Country. That particular one was laced with espresso.

Mito pursed her lips into a thin line. "This is your mess. Clean it up," she informed the two. "And when she falls ill from the sugar overload, don't say I didn't warn you, and bring her straight to me."

"H-Hey, where are you going?" Hashirama asked as Mito turned to leave the room. "You can't just leave us here with her!"

"Oh?" One thin eyebrow arched in his direction. "And why not? It seems you two would be her best playmates until you all run out of chocolate." She passed through the doorway and slapped a paper tag on it, effectively sealing the two men in with the little girl. The redhead's smile turned malicious. "Have fun." She ignored the identical whimpers from the men as they turned to face Tsunade, who giggled and declared 'Play!'. Everything had a price, after all.


	254. Incongruities

When I look back on this and think about it...it sounds like a crack-fic. But since that's how my brain is functioning today (after 2 exams) we'll go with it. Should it be continued?

* * *

Incongruities

Kakashi eyed the blond boy in front of him who was starting to bounce faster…and faster…and…"_Why_ did you do this, exactly?" he asked the white haired man who was standing behind the hyperactive teenager, an idiot grin plastered across his face. "You of all people should know better!"

Jiraiya just shrugged nonchalantly. "Hey, he was hungry and it was all I had. Can you blame a man for wanting him to stop pestering?" To his credit, he didn't quail under the harsh glare Kakashi sent his way.

"You could have taken him for ramen or something!" the jounin hissed, eyes darting once more to Naruto who was beginning to…run in circles…around a shop. "Anything but sugar!"

"Oh come on, Kakashi, it can't be all that bad," Jiraiya began, only to be cut off by Kakashi's hand slapping across his mouth and dragging him close until he was staring directly into Kakashi's one eye.

"You have _no_ idea. If you haven't seen him on a sugar high before…" the jounin released Jiraiya so he could stagger back a pace, "consider this a learning experience. Naruto!" he called the boy, who immediately came running.

"Kakashi-sensei! Did you know they don't have _ramen_ flavored ramen?" His blue eyes were opened wide and Kakashi could see the irises shuttering back and forth minutely. "They have to fix that! You can't have ramen that doesn't taste like ramen!"

Kakashi sent a pointed look at Jiraiya as if to say, 'See?', and the toad sannin raised a skeptical eyebrow. "That's not that different from usual," Jiraiya scoffed, watching as Naruto ran off once more, jabbering to himself about needing to fix something and finding someone.

"No?" Kakashi asked darkly, rubbing a hand over his face. "This is just the beginning. Last time it took Iruka and a squad of ANBU to capture him…"

"Capture who?" Iruka questioned, walking up behind the two. "I just saw Naruto running by babbling about making a giant ramen for everyone to swim in…Kakashi, would you know anything about this?"

"It's all his fault!" the jounin replied immediately, pointing an accusing finger at Jiraiya who batted it away irritably.

"Look, just because I…"

"He gave Naruto ten candy bars!"

"You did what?" Iruka's yelp overrode whatever protest Jiraiya was using to defend himself. "Didn't you learn from the last time?"

"I wasn't _here_ the last time…"

"You knew his mother! You of all people…" Iruka trailed off, muttering under his breath. "We won't be able to lure him in the same as last time. It's going to be much harder. This calls for reinforcements."

Kakashi nodded sagely. "I was thinking Tsunade-sama herself."

"Perfect."

Ten minutes later found two worried and jittering men and one very indifferent and slightly confused sannin arrayed in front of the Hokage. The blonde woman sighed and resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands. "Jiraiya did what again?"

"He gave Naruto ten candy bars," Kakashi repeated, his one visible eye serious. "We should initiate procedure Prank Prevention immediately. It's the only way to stop the…" his voice trailed off, apparently unable to find words for the force of nature Naruto had swiftly become as he moved through the village."

"Procedure…what?"

"It should have been included with all the other emergency procedures," Iruka spoke up. "After the last time Naruto was given sugar, Sandaime-sama created protocol for just such another occurring emergency – although everyone with _common sense_," he shot a dirty glare at Jiraiya who raised both hands in defense, "knew better than to give him that much sugar again."

"Hey, I wasn't here!"

"That's no excuse," Tsunade told him absently, rooting around in a desk drawer full of labeled scrolls. "Here it is." She unrolled the bright red banded scroll on her desk and ran her finger down it. "Naruto was given sugar…he found a squirrel…decided all the squirrels in Konoha needed one huge nest…in the training grounds…" her eyebrow began to twitch as read further on and her voice got quieter until she let out a yelp. "He decided to put it in the Forest of Death!"

"It gets better," Iruka told her grimly.

She didn't doubt it. "ANBU couldn't catch him?" She glanced between Iruka and the scroll in disbelief. "He was a six year old kid!"

"A six year old full of sugar," Kakashi corrected her. "You knew his parents. Imagine a combination of the two of them on the highest stimulant you could give." He waited until her eyes had widened sufficiently in horror. "He kept waving at us and running off to collect more sticks. Every time we got him in a net or something he would wriggle out through some hole; we got chakra suppressors on him but they didn't do anything because he wasn't using anything. Kyuubi burned straight through any drugs we put in his system. He was unstoppable."

"And you couldn't just grab him?"

The jounin winced and rubbed a hand across his stomach. "Have you ever had a six year old sic his squirrel friends on you because you were keeping him from building them a home?"

Tsunade winced in sympathy. "Please tell me you at least moved the nest."

"We convinced him it was better to build it on top of the Hokage Monument," Iruka stated, shooting a glance at Jiraiya where the Sannin stood, looking at the two as though they were from a foreign planet.

"So how did you actually catch him?"

"Ahh…" Kakashi rubbed at the back of his head, making his already unruly hair stick up further. "We basically put him in a genjutsu that masked the trees in front of him, so he just ran straight into one and knocked himself out. But that won't work this time."

"He can sense genjutsu now, and his current obsession is with creating a giant ramen-flavored ramen," Iruka inserted. Tsunade's forehead hit the desk in front of her with an audible thump.

"Only Naruto…" she groaned, raising her head slowly to glare indiscriminately at all three males in front of her. "Okay, I have an idea. It's foolproof. You," One manicured nail pointed authoritatively at Jiraiya, "will help me because you created this mess. You two," the finger swung and another joined it to point at Kakashi and Iruka, "will make sure he doesn't destroy the village in the meantime. Got it?" She waited until all had nodded before barking "Dismissed!"

As Kakashi and Iruka left the tower to search for the wayward teenager, Iruka frowned. "How do you think she came up with a plan so fast?"

Kakashi muffled a chuckle. "Well you see, Sandaime-sama told me a story once…apparently Hashirama-sama let his very young granddaughter get into his chocolate stores…"

"Personal experience," Iruka nodded sagely. "Those two are _very_ alike."


	255. Fate's Plans

This is a bit introspective - the original idea was from Narutofan, and it was a wonderful prompt. =) Sorry if I repeat myself in here ideaswise...Thucydides killed my brain flatter than a piece of paper.

* * *

Fate's Plans

Mikoto laughed slightly to herself as her four year old son ran ahead – again – down the path to the park. Sasuke was always eager to go to the play area, babbling on and on about the friends he met there and how fun they were.

Rarely did she actually get to take Sasuke to the park; Fugaku insisted that Sasuke stay inside the compound most of the time, either training or studying despite his young age. Even when the younger Uchiha was given free time, he wasn't to leave the compound, because Fugaku didn't want him getting 'corrupted'. She grimaced. Her husband had a very derogatory view of a majority of the village, even though he didn't show it to anyone outside his immediate family.

Mikoto had argued with Fugaku – rarely, but it did happen – that Sasuke needed playmates his own age so he could learn how to socialize with them. Fugaku brushed it off as nonsense. As he put it, 'all the boy needs is to know how to talk and niceties, and he'll be fine'. That was one of the few times Mikoto had actually raised her voice to her husband, and resulted in this most current trip to the playground.

Sasuke reached the park a minute ahead of his mother, who slowed her pace as she drew closer. Sasuke was old enough he didn't need her to be keeping tabs on him at all times, so as long as she could see him a majority of the time, she was content. There weren't all that many children at the playground, partially due to it being lunchtime, and Sasuke made an immediate beeline for a boy with bright yellow hair. She couldn't remember seeing him around all that often, but she didn't leave the compound very much either.

There was something about him, though, that struck a chord as familiar. From four years ago…the way the other seven children on the playground avoided him, the three whisker marks on each cheeks…he was the Kyuubi child, Naruto. She vaguely remembered Fugaku coming home raging about how the child chosen by the Yondaime was allowed to live, about how council members were fighting left and right to be able to 'foster' him, or toss him on the streets. The latter had won out. Most were of the opinion the demon would take him over, but the Sandaime had issued an official decree no one was to mention the bijuu so long as they remained in the village, under penalty of imprisonment. But he couldn't imprison the whole village, and whispers, once started, were hard to stop.

Sasuke called out to the blond boy, beckoning him over to where the raven was digging in the sandbox, scratching symbols into the malleable material with a stick. It seemed they had played together before for Naruto immediately ran over and began gesturing wildly, grabbing the stick from Sasuke and making changes to whatever her son was drawing.

She was about to start over there to separate the two – for fear of Fugaku's reaction if nothing else – when the word 'dattebayo!' floated clearly to her ears. Mid step, the woman paused. A nonsense word, one used to emphasize the end of a sentence…and just like her best friend's 'dattebane!'.

Suddenly, like an old clip, a memory popped into her head. 

_"You have a girl yet, Mikoto?" _

_"No." She smiled down at the baby boy in her arms. "Another boy."_

_"What's his name?"_

_"Sasuke." She raked a glance up and down her best friend's body, noting the large swell of Kushina's abdomen. "Aren't you due soon, Kushina? You should pick out a name."_

_The redhead grinned widely. "We already have. Naruto! He and Sasuke will be the same age, I'm sure they'll be best friends." _

It was the last time Mikoto saw Kushina – the official press release from the Hokage had been that she had died due to the Kyuubi, and her child with her. She hadn't looked any further into her friend's death than that, even when a boy 'miraculously' bearing the name Uzumaki showed up in the village, an orphan. She flushed from embarrassment. She owed her best friend more than that, if Naruto was truly her son.

Now that she had a good look at the boy, she could see the resemblance a bit. Not so much physically, but in the way that he smiled, laughed by throwing his head back, and kept spouting that same nonsense word. It was as though Kushina's spirit had been reborn through her son.

It seemed fate had intended to bring those two boys together, Mikoto mused, watching Sasuke push Naruto's shoulder lightly, and Naruto stick his tongue out at Sasuke and throw a handful of sand, starting a war. Well, she wasn't about to deny Kushina's wish because Fugaku had some grievance with the Kyuubi. She would just have to make sure Sasuke didn't mention the blond until they were both in the Academy is all. She couldn't do anything to change the boy's circumstances – although how he survived when Kushina didn't brought up some questions she was sure would never be answered – and a child was never to be blamed for the death of his parent. It simply wasn't right. But Fugaku, and the rest of the village, would turn on her if she was seen helping 'the Kyuubi brat'. What children could do, adults could not.

So she would watch and wait, and if Sasuke could become true friends with the boy, all the better. She wouldn't interfere with fate's plans.


	256. Caged

Why is it that I can write a story of about 700 words in about twenty minutes, but it takes me twelve hours to get 800 of a 1800 word paper done? Something is very screwy here.

The idea is Addsters =)

* * *

Caged

He didn't remember how old he was when he first realized his parents didn't love each other. Maybe it was when he was seven and his mother silently cooked dinner for him and his father each night, placed it on the table, and waited to eat until the man of the household had taken the first bite. Maybe it was when he was five and he walked into his parent's room one early morning and found his mother sitting at the window, tears pouring down her cheeks.

Or maybe it was before that. He had never seen his parents engage in physical contact past the necessary. Oh, he knew they had to at some point or his younger brother wouldn't have been born, but he was convinced his baby brother wasn't created out of love. Never had he seen his father hug his mother, give her an affectionate kiss like she did to her two sons.

They never fought and never raised their voices – in every way they seemed a perfect family. The mother catering to her husband and children, the father off providing for the family so they would have a comfortable life. But very rarely were there smiles, his mother saving them only for times when her husband wasn't around to see. When he came home with bruises and lacerations from training, she would fuss over him until the head of the household returned, telling him to 'man up. You're supposed to be a shinobi, act like one.' And act like one he did.

He watched through the open window as his father spoke harshly to his mother, face cold and hard with hatred. He began to wonder why she didn't leave them all behind so she could escape from a place she wasn't happy in. And one night when he saw her standing at the window long after her husband had gone to bed, he realized. She was a prisoner, trapped in a cage with an open door, tethered to her keeper.

Without the clan she had no way to provide for herself, no family ties, and nobody to turn to. The sons belonged to the father, so she wouldn't even have that small comfort. Which was worse, the evil within or the evil waiting outside? She didn't want to take that chance.

So instead he watched as his mother weathered the cold glances, the harsh reprimands that were absent in the interactions of all the parents he saw, and served her family day in and day out. It was the side of her his father expected and cultivated.

There was always the glimmer under the surface though, a spark of who she had been before the golden cage wrapped around her so tightly there was no escape. He saw it when she cooed to the baby of the family as he grinned up at her, too young to yet understand the world of ice he had been born into. When she brushed a light hand over his head when she thought he was asleep, and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. A mother always cared for her children.

As he grew older, he learned to look for the times she acted as a shield between her husband and her sons. When he didn't excel fast enough to meet his father's expectations for a form or jutsu. When his brother spilt his food all over the floor because he refused to eat it. When he was late to a meeting because he had taken a few minutes too long on a mission. She took the brunt of the man's rage and redirected it onto herself.

Her husband never slapped her or pushed her around physically, and for that he was grateful for father or not, he would have killed the man. But in a marriage there were worse things a man could do than the physical. When his mother came to the table with her eyes downcast and served each male precisely, he clenched his fists in rage but kept his face blank. A loveless marriage was better than no marriage at all.

Because a caged bird had nowhere to go.


	257. Clone Barrage

So the mood is a complete 180 from last night's drabble. But then again I got a 102/100 on my exam! Which really helps for happiness. AND my evil paper was postponed by a week! Without further ado, this was inspired by the latest Naruto episode which I was told to watch by Addster. Kaiser969 and Freewolf17 gave me ideas to put in =)

* * *

Clone Barrage

"Bushy brows, look, I got it!" Naruto crowed to his instructor, not daring to even turn his head lest he disrupt the flow of chakra through his body. "I did it!"

"Well done, Naruto-kun!" Lee exclaimed, pacing in a circle around his student. "You have indeed opened up the Eighth Gate! You have surpassed my highest expectations, just what I would expect from my pupil!"

Naruto twitched, refraining from pointing out the discrepancies in that statement. He had learned early on not to take anything the bowl cut boy said at face value. Instead he concentrated on holding the immensity of chakra swelling through his body steady. "You think I can use it?"

"Yeah, how long do we have to stand like this?" piped up one of his clones – one of twenty to be precise. He had summoned them to do much as he had with his rasen-shuriken – learn how to manipulate his power better and disperse when they had.

"That should be fine, Naruto-kuns," Lee told the clones grandly. "Now that Naruto-kun has mastered the Gate, you can stop." With relieved sighs, all the clones stood up straight, some rubbing at sore muscles.

"Geez, how do you do it?"

A loud crack was heard as one clone stretched backward. "My back!"

"Our back," Naruto reminded him with a slight scowl. "Don't hurt it. I need to be able to dodge later."

"Yeah, yeah…"

The original brought his hands together into a cross seal and focused with the power of the Eighth Gate still running through his veins. "Disperse!" The expected clouds of smoke didn't appear. "What's wrong with you, disperse!" Again, there was nothing, even as he tried to force the chakra to obey his will. His clones stared at him as his face screwed up in effort.

"Can't he disperse us?"

"He can't disperse us."

"Does this mean we get to stay?"

"I don't know, do you disappear if I punch you?" This was followed by a socking punch to the jaw and a grunt of pain, but no smoke. "Guess not."

"So does that make us him now?"

"We were always him."

"But are we _more_ him?"

Naruto's eye twitched as he listened to his clones discuss amongst themselves. "Go away! I'm the original and what I say goes! Dispel!"

"No!" The response came from one of his clones who pushed to the front of the group. "You can't control us, so you can't order us around anymore!"

Naruto ground his teeth in frustration. "I created you! You're _me_! That makes me the boss!"

"Nu-uh!" And a tongue was stuck out in his direction. "You can't dispel us so we can do whatever we want!" A sinister grin snuck over the clone's face. "Like this!" Three hand seals later and Naruto was in a tree as his clones scampered away.

Lee looked up at the blond, bemused. "What just happened?"

"A mutiny," Naruto grumbled.

* * *

"Sakura-chan, go out with me!"

"No go out with me, I'm much handsomer than him!"

"I'm better than both of them, and smarterer too! You should choose me!"

The pinkette twitched, looking at the five identical faces surrounding her. "Naruto, get your butt out here right now and stop hiding behind your clones!" she yelled, spinning in a circle trying to spot the original. Not that she could differentiate between any of them.

"That loser's not here."

"We don't need him!"

"We're better than him!"

"Please go out with me?"

A clone tugged on the pinkette's arm and wrapped his own around her waist, and that was the last straw. "Shannaro!"

All five clones took swift flying lessons.

* * *

Teuchi looked at the three identical Narutos each eating identical orders of ten ramen bowls each. "Can you three even get full?"

The Naruto nearest to the ramen stand owner slurped up a noodle and grinned widely. "Nope! Keep em coming, jii-san!"

"You're paying for this how? And what will Naruto think?"

Another Naruto flicked a finger along the side of his nose. "What he don't know won't hurt him! And put it on the tab, he'll pick it up later!"

Teuchi sighed and turned back to his huge pots. Money was money was money after all, and Naruto – especially three of him – was his best customer.

* * *

Citizens took cover under awnings and in shops as six Narutos poured through the streets, throwing paint balloons at each other and laughing wildly. They had already used the rest of the paint on the monument to add some…artistic touches to the stone faces.

Parents covered their children's eyes at the sight of so many copies of the blond. One or two was bad enough, but six? Kami have mercy on Konoha.

* * *

Tsunade's eye twitched as she took in the seven Narutos arrayed in front of her. The office was packed to capacity and echoing with multiple of the same voice. "Enough!" she roared, having had _more _than enough of problems that day. This was just another one she didn't need to add to the list.

A Naruto pushed his way to the front. "Baa-chan, make them disperse! They're my clones, they have to obey me!"

"We don't have to!" yelled another, and the cry was picked up by the other five clones. "He's not our master anymore! He can't control us!"

The Hokage pinched the bridge of her nose tightly, trying to forestall the impending headache. The cacophony wasn't helping. "What happened." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. And it produced yet another series of yells.

"He created us and now he wants to get rid of us!"

"But we won't go!"

"Clones have rights too you know!"

"We shouldn't have to put up with this discrimination!"

Quick as a flash, Tsunade's hand shot out and slapped the Naruto in the front across the face. He was pushed to the side by the force of the blow and rubbed his now bright red cheek indignantly. "Hey baa-chan what gives! I'm the original!"

"I know," she responded, unperturbed. "Look at my village, look at my people, _look at my face_. You're responsible for this, and you're going to clean it up!"

"It was them not me!"

She cocked an eyebrow. "Looks exactly the same to me."

"That's not fair!"

"Think about that next time you create an army of clones!" Tsunade barked, losing patience. "Now, you are going to spend the next six months doing D-ranks to make up for this! Understood?" Her tightly clenched fist proved a deterrent for any more yells or protests. "Now take your herd of cattle and leave!"

"We aren't cattle, we're horses!" called out a cheeky clone as they left the office.

"D-ranks until Chouji wears a size small!" Tsunade's enraged yell echoed throughout the building.

"Thanks a lot," Naruto glared at the copies of himself. "Since you all won't dispel, that means you're helping me, understood?"

"She just said Naruto," countered a clone.

"Wait, we're Naruto too…"

"We shouldn't have to do D-ranks!"

"Then let's just dispel!"

"Yeah!"

"Wait…wha~?" Before Naruto could formulate a protest, one, then two, then four…then all of his clones were gone in clouds of smoke except one.

"We never said we couldn't dispel ourselves," the last clone sent him a cheeky grin and a jaunty two finger salute before dispelling as well.

"Why me…" Naruto sunk to the floor, holding his head in both hands. "Why…"

"Naruto!" Teuchi's gruff voice called the blond out of his stupor. "Just the person I've been looking for."

"Jii-san! Please tell me you need a ramen tester?" Naruto looked up at the older man with pleading puppy dog eyes. He could really use a free bowl at the moment…

A piece of paper was stuffed into his hand. "Your bill. Don't forget you have to pay it in a week or no ramen!"

As the old man left, Naruto looked down at the paper and his jaw dropped at the final figure. "Gama-chan's going to be on a diet for a long time…"


	258. Wall of Fire

A friend's idea, I can't tell you the specifics or it'll ruin the next part ^^

* * *

Wall of Fire

Tsunade ran through the forest, clutching at her head as though that would force the images away. She tripped over a root and fire flashed in front of her eyes, blinding her. It roared up, screening out the trees and replacing them with a vision of a village burning up, flames licking at the walls and open doors to the main street.

The village was disappearing in the flames and smoke rising up from the burning buildings, until all she could see was fire, fire, fire. The scene was oddly silent, no screams or wails echoing from the village, but she couldn't move from the path. She couldn't get any closer as she watched the village she had left and come back to burn fiercely.

Maybe there were survivors, she should go in and check…her feet stumbled over another tree root in the forest and the vision flashed, a huge explosion barreling up out of the center of the village and consuming all around it. Nobody could have survived that. Tsunade let out a choked cry as she stumbled through the forest. They were gone, all gone, and her body was telling her to run, run, run. So she did.

* * *

Jiraiya sent a worried look at the blond who was standing next to him in the empty Hokage's office. "Where could she have gone?" It had been a month since Tsunade had disappeared without a word, leaving the village one day to complete a simple errand and never coming back. Shizune hadn't had an inkling her teacher was going to leave, as Tsunade had asked to talk to her later that afternoon for arrangements regarding a party for Naruto. She wouldn't leave the boy behind.

But apparently she would. The Sannin had sent out all of the spies he had with their ears to the ground, trying to find a trace of her in any city or village in the five great nations. Their best bet was that she was gambling and drinking again, but there hadn't even been rumors of the Legendary Sucker resurfacing. It was as though she had disappeared off the face of the earth. The only proof they had that she wasn't dead was Katsuyu appearing one day, saying Tsunade had banned the slugs from coming to her, but she was alive, somewhere. Another way of finding her gone.

"I don't know," Naruto responded, just as worried. They had been over the same dialogue so often in the past month it had become rote. "She's not in Wind, Gaara would have told me."

"Or Earth and Lightning, she would be dead."

"Or Tanzaku Gai."

"Or…" Jiraiya ran a frustrated hand through his hair and down across his face. "Kami above, where could she _be?_ And why won't she respond to any messages?" He had left many at their secret contact spots, for when each was moving around the nations independently. The only reason she wouldn't check any of them was if she was trying to cut contact with the village altogether, but they couldn't figure out _why_. "I'll send out the toads again." Hopefully if they could get close enough to her position, the toads could find her. Hopefully.

* * *

Tsunade drew in a breath and shivered again. She was cold in the cave she had taken refuge in, but she couldn't – wouldn't – start a fire. Not after Konoha burned. She hadn't gotten too far away from the village before she had to stop and collapse in a rock outcropping deep in the forest, but even the next morning when she woke up tired – her sleep had been broken by flashes of flames – she couldn't convince herself to go back. There was no reason, she ought to go to see if anyone had survived miraculously…but she couldn't. There was no logical explanation, but nothing was logical.

She had left the village that morning and gone to visit an old friend who was visiting a village not too far away. When she had come back…there was fire. Fire everywhere. But she should have been able to see the smoke from where she had been. Nothing but a clear blue sky. A fire that large shouldn't have been able to consume a shinobi village that fast. But it had. There should have been villagers and ANBU and shinobi outside the walls, escaping the burning inferno. Nobody, not even a sound. It didn't make any sense, but she couldn't fight it. All she could do was run.

She knew enough past the fog in her brain to take shelter away from civilization. A kunoichi could easily live off the land if she found the right spot, and she knew a place deep in Fire country. To leave the border would be suicidal, but she couldn't go to the Daimyou. As the sole survivor, she would be accused of killing them all, Hokage or not. Wouldn't she? She couldn't risk it.

There was a cave close to the ocean she settled into, one with a spring nearby and enough wildlife she wouldn't go hungry. But she couldn't hunt because every time she tried to start a fire, her hands started to shake and she saw Konoha burn. Instead she ate roots and fruits she found around the cave, when she wasn't huddled up on the rock floor clutching her knees and desperately trying to banish the flames from her mind.

They were like an impenetrable wall that kept her from thinking and remembering – all she knew was run and don't look back.

* * *

"Gamakichi thinks he got a scent of her near the ocean, but he's not sure," Jiraiya announced, striding into the Hokage's room which Shizune had taken over in Tsunade's absence.

"You might have found her?" Naruto shot up from where he sat in the corner, shifting through papers to review for the raven. "Let's go get her!"

"Not so fast gaki," Jiraiya cautioned. "We don't know why she's there, and he doesn't have an exact location. We can't scare her away this time."

Naruto pouted but acquiesced. "Fine. But I'm going with you to get her." It wasn't a question or a statement; it was a fact.

"Yeah."


	259. Fire Alive

Continuing...=)

* * *

Fire Alive

Tsunade had decided to venture into the small village not too far from her cave down the coast for food one day, disguising herself in a genjutsu to look like a woman of sixty who wouldn't attract any untoward attention. Her hair was a non-descript brown, her clothes the color of the earth and dusty. Her eyes, too, were brown, and wrinkles that once would have pained her to add showed along her cheeks and the corners of her eyes.

She still couldn't sleep at night without seeing the flames rising and feeling the heat on her body, so she was just as glad the genjutsu hid the bags under her eyes; but after living in a cave she didn't care much for her personal appearance anymore. Her once nicely manicured nails had long since grown out and been gnawed off to keep from getting in her way, and her blonde hair hung loose down her back. In only a month she had gone from being the proud Hokage of a strong village to a lone woman hiding in the wilderness, unable to face her loss and others.

As she made her way through the streets she was surprised to see there were no cowering glances of fear, no hushed whispers that would have accompanied the fall of a shinobi village that protected a country. Nothing at all to indicate anything was amiss. Fools. If they couldn't realize they were bait now, the worse for them.

As she made her way to the market to see if she could beg any scraps, she heard a name pass a man's lips and jerked around, almost falling as she lost her balance. No, he was dead. _He was dead_. She clutched at her head as the fire bloomed once more.

* * *

"Are you sure we couldn't have borrowed Kiba and Akamaru to track her down?" Naruto groused for the tenth time in an hour, trudging along behind Gamakichi as the toad led them down a dirt trail. "At least they would have known where they were going."

"Hey, you want to find her yourself, be my guest," the toad shot back, irritated by Naruto's attitude. He flicked an eyelid in annoyance. "So step up or shut up."

Shut up the blond did, although it didn't keep him from rolling his eyes every time the toad had to stop. Made to be trackers, toads were not, but they had spent enough time around Tsunade they had an easier time of finding her than others would. All except the ninken, who were currently out on other important missions. Somehow Konoha had managed to keep Tsunade's disappearance a secret from the outside world – and most of the village itself – but that would fail soon enough.

"Osawa isn't too far away now, and it's close to a spot we used to meet at. Hopefully she'll be there," Jiraiya broke the silence, voice heavy. He seemed to have aged a year in the past month, and he rarely smiled anymore. He had gotten used to having Tsunade back only to have her ripped away again. "They already know we're coming, I saw a farmer going on ahead ready to gossip."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "It's not like we're important or anything, geez."

Jiraiya cracked a smile at that.

* * *

Jiraiya-sama. Jiraiya-sama. Jiraiya-sama is coming here. What did the peasant know? Jiraiya was _dead_, she had seen the village burn and known he was in it! Was it possible he had survived? No, she knew indubitably there had been no survivors, but she didn't know how she knew that. Mysteries she didn't want to pry into. Flames. Flames blocked the way.

Why was it always flames?

She stumbled against a nearby wall as she tried to regain her vision and see past the wall of orange, yellow, and red. It was as though her mind was clouded, leaving only one thought. Dead. Run. Dead. _Run_. Run she did, pushing people out of the way and disregarding their yells of outrage. That is, until her arm was caught by a burly man in the apron of a blacksmith.

"Now see here missy, you can't just go around manhandling people…"

She lashed out with a kick that took him low in the stomach, and as he doubled over wheezing wrenched her arm out of his grasp and kept running. Flee. They're coming to get you, they'll take you, they'll hurt you…who? Who was they? The voice was chanting at the back of her mind, but she couldn't identify it. It wouldn't be denied. The fire wouldn't let it be denied. It clogged her senses until she couldn't tell where she was going, couldn't hear anything but the crackle of sparks and the crack of wood under heat, smell the acrid smoke…but she could also smell the clean air and hear the bubble of noise of Konoha's streets. What was it?

* * *

They were close to the village when Naruto heard the hubbub of noise coming from near the entrance. A crowd was gathered around a burly man who was bent double, clutching his stomach, and an elderly woman was staggering away, half unbalanced and clutching her head, eyes blind to the world around her. She was trying to run for the exit, and as she passed Jiraiya he snagged an arm out and caught her, spinning the woman around so she was stopped by her own momentum.

"Let me go!" She let out a kick that he stopped easily with one palm – she hadn't put much power behind it, despite obviously having formal training. Her eyes weren't quite focused on him and seemed to be seeing something further away.

"Now, you can't just go around hurting these poor people," the Sannin told the woman sternly. "Why don't you just settle down and apologize."

She froze at his voice, brown eyes struggling to focus on his face even as she kept trying to tug away. "No. No. _No!_ Dead, hallucinating…fire…" she was rubbing at her ears now, eyes scrunched shut. "Dead. You're _dead!"_ She screamed the last word and lost her control, genjutsu melting away.

"_Tsunade?"_

* * *

How could he be here? She had seen him burn, _both of them burn in the village_. But Naruto was standing right behind Jiraiya, looking at her with a bewildered expression that seemed so familiar. Right on cue, an image of Jiraiya reaching a hand through Konoha's gate as he was burned up by fire sprang into her mind. But that wasn't there before! Naruto leaping off the walls, trying to smother the red eating up his orange and black coat. He hadn't been there. _What was happening?_

She didn't know. She didn't care. All she wanted was sweet oblivion, where nothing existed and nothing had to make sense. She could forget everything and just…_stop_.

The last thing she remembered was hearing Naruto – who was _dead_ – shouting her name.


	260. Memory Walk

I'm definitely crazy and partially mental...I should stop pushing myself so far, but...I can't stop. Ooops. ^^; So if any just insanity/discontinuity shows up in here, blame my lack of sleep and 5 hours straight of helping people study.

* * *

Memory Walk

"Tsunade…" the voice was insistent, worming its way into her head. She tried to ignore it, to dismiss the man's voice as a long forgotten memory. Just a memory. Just a…"I think she's waking up." There was no way he was real after all. It had just been a nightmare, one huge nightmare…

Fire flashed into her brain, startling her eyes wide open as she gasped for breath involuntarily. Somewhere close to her ear, a monitor began to beep obnoxiously.

"Hey, easy, relax," that same voice told her, a face coming into her field of vision. It took a second before she could see past the fire and smoke clouding her eyes, then a white framed head was in focus.

She tried to sit up and scramble back, only to find that her arms were strapped in restraints by her sides, and her legs in the same situation. "Let me go!"

"Not until you calm down," he replied solemnly. "And answer a few questions."

She shook her head violently, blonde hair whipping around her face from the action even as she tried to lever herself off the bed. "I'm not answering anything for you! You're…" she choked on the word, unable to say it still despite it echoing in her brain. _Dead, dead, dead._ "Go away! Let me be!"

"Not until you tell us why you left." In under a second his voice changed from caring to harsh, obsidian eyes glaring into hers. "You left a second time, and when we find you you're like this. What happened?"

"It burned!" The words exploded from her mouth. "It burned and I couldn't stop it!"

"What burned?"

She shut her mouth tightly, refusing to answer any more. It didn't make any sense. She saw Jiraiya, a burned corpse standing in front of her, but she also saw the man with a frustrated look on his face. It was disorienting and disconcerting. Her eyes roved the room, looking for any clue. She was in a white cube, a counter with a sink built in along the wall, machines hooked up to her body monitoring her heart rate, blood pressure…it looked like Konoha.

"_What burned?"_ Jiraiya raked an irritated hand through his hair, glaring at the blonde woman who was stubbornly refusing to meet his gaze. "Dammit, woman, I'm going to have to call Inoichi in on this if you won't tell us why. Sannin or not, you're the Hokage and we can't have you going rogue for no reason." Still a stony silence. "Last chance."

There wasn't even an inner battle. She just _knew_ she couldn't tell him what burned. It was a trick, it had to be a trick! And she had to keep the secret. She couldn't let them know…

Jiraiya sighed. "Fine. Yamanaka!" The blond man stepped into the room solemnly, long ponytail swaying slightly from the movement. "Scan her."

He nodded silently and approached the bed, reaching out to lay two hands on her temples. When she realized what he was going to do, Tsunade tried to fight back, tossing her head from side to side and snapping at his fingers more like a cornered wild animal than a woman. She didn't have any effect, being strapped down.

* * *

Inoichi walked through the paths of Tsunade's mind, noticing the fractures in the stonework beneath his feet. The signs of a nearly shattered mind, desperately trying to hold on. Here and there gouts of flame shot up through the cracks, trying to burn him alive, and he was extra careful to step around those. He was looking for anything that indicated Tsunade had communicated information about Konoha to their enemies officially, but Jiraiya had requested he also look out for psychological trauma to indicate why Tsunade had disappeared and apparently snapped.

He saw only the normal doors of memory, some locked tight away so she would never have to relive them, and others wide open to show recent recollection. But as he looked further down the corridor he noticed a flickering orange light silhouetted in one of the doorways, one that shouldn't be there. Even if a memory centered around fire, it didn't affect the memory corridor. Curious, Inoichi moved closer, and stopped in awe of the wall of fire rising in front of him.

It was easily clear someone had tampered with Tsunade's mind, now. The fire was placed closest to the present, interfering with even every day interactions and memories, and most probably affecting her current sanity with flashes of fire. Deep within the heart of the fire he could see a replica of their village and people milling about. Before his eyes, he watched a model of Jiraiya appear, run, catch fire, and fade right before the gate. Over, and over, like a fascinating play. Elsewhere Naruto leapt across the roofs, fighting off flames.

Where was Shizune? No sooner had he thought that then the apprentice appeared on top of the tower, battling a gout of fire determined to swallow it. She was lost as the tower blew up. A traumatic planted memory for someone who had already been through much; all he had to do was remove it, and hopefully she would regain a semblance of recognition of the reality she was living in.

He searched along the edges of the fire wall, looking for weak points he could detach. The base was strong, sending roots deep into the cracks in the stonework. The top was firmly across the ceiling. But the right side, near where Jiraiya stood burning, burning…was weak. He could barely feel the heat coming off it, and the Sannin flickered out completely twice. She was fighting it; well, he could help. With the ease of long practice Inoichi thought of a hose that spouted nonstop water and it appeared – as the dream walker, he could picture whatever he wanted and have it appear. This was no exception. Taking careful aim, he first sent the water at Jiraiya, then when the Sannin disappeared and didn't return, swept it out across the base of the flame, extinguishing it slowly. The wall of fire shrunk and shrunk, until finally all that remained was a scorch mark on the stone floor. Hopefully, his work was done. Gratefully now, Inoichi let himself go from the jutsu, disappearing from Tsunade's mind.

* * *

She was lying still on the bed ever since Inoichi had entered her mind, eyes closed and dead to the world. Her regular breathing and the slow rhythmic spike of the heart rate monitor was the only thing that let Jiraiya know she was alive.

It was nearly twenty minutes before Inoichi drew away from the prone woman, drawing a deep breath and letting it out with a sigh. Exhaustion reigned on his face and a pain was deep in his eyes that hadn't been there before.

"What happened to her?" were the first words out of the Sannin's mouth. Not 'Did she betray us', but asking about his teammate's wellbeing. Screw the old council members. They could prattle on all they wanted about how Tsunade was a traitor, but he knew better. It wasn't even a possibility.

"Somebody implanted a false memory in her mind that superseded all others," Inoichi replied, making his way over to a chair near the wall. He collapsed tiredly into it and looked at Jiraiya. "I removed it, but it may be a while before she's recovered. She'll always have a residual impression of it."

"What was the memory? How…"

"Genjutsu. You would…do better not to know the specifics," the Yamanaka sighed, closing his eyes. When a tongue of fire licked behind them, he wasn't surprised. He too shared the memories he walked in. "Just know she'll be much better in a week, and give her time to recover the rest."

The Sannin nodded seriously, eyes tracing Tsunade's form on the bed. It may have just been his imagination, but she looked more relaxed than she had when he and Naruto had brought her back unconscious from the village. It would be alright. He would make sure of it.


	261. Revenge

I think I'm going to leave it at this, with a bit of an air of mystery. =) *Don'thateme!*

* * *

Revenge

Tsunade blinked her eyes open, wondering why the thought that there was no fire in front of her eyes was significant. Instead, she saw white ceiling once more, and this time recognized it. The thought that Konoha was burned and gone shot through her brain, but she dismissed it. How could that be true? She was in Konoha right now after all. Although what she was doing in a hospital bed instead of at her desk like she should be…

The blonde woman sat up carefully, not sure why she was in the hospital, but not willing to risk jarring anything. Her body didn't hurt, and while her mind felt a little clouded, it wasn't much different from how she felt after a night of drinking. Perhaps that was it? But she didn't remember going out the night before. In fact…the night before was a bit of a blur. Something to do with a town, and a man…and…"Shizune?" she called, her voice coming out a little more plaintive that she would like. "Shizune!"

Someone came through the door, but it wasn't Shizune. "She's at the Tower, hime. So you're awake."

"Jiraiya what happened? Why am I here?"

"Well, let's see." The white haired man crossed his arms and leaned back against the doorway. "You were malnourished, halfway to crazy, violent…need I go on?" Her wide eyes told him he should do just that. "In short, if we had let you out on the streets you probably would have hurt somebody or yourself."

"But I was fine yesterday!"

"No," he counteracted, "you were asleep yesterday. And the day before that. The week before that you were about half a day away from Konoha, manhandling a blacksmith. Who we had to pay compensation by the way."

"…What?" She felt like cotton wool was wrapped around her mind. Nothing he was saying made any sense. "Yesterday I was filling out Naruto's request for a B-rank to test his skills on!"

"That was a month ago."

She couldn't believe it, wouldn't believe it. There was no way a month of her life had gone by, completely unremembered as though someone had swiped a hand through her mind. "Tell me everything you know."

Jiraiya sighed, moving from his position against the doorframe to a chair near her bed. "You won't like it, and we don't know everything. A month ago you left the village for a morning errand, and didn't return. We couldn't find you until almost a month later, near the coastline. We got you there and brought you back here, and Inoichi did a mind walk. He told me there was some sort of powerful flame genjutsu over a part of your mind, that interwove itself with all recent memories, and he destroyed it."

"I…don't remember. Anything." Her voice was shaking now. Something had happened to her, and she had no idea what it was. It was powerful enough that she didn't even realize there had been a transition in time. Her hands clenched in the white sheet covering her legs until she could feel the ridges of her fingernails against her palms through the cloth. "So…it took my memory with it?"

"So it would seem."

She could feel rage bubbling up inside her – rage that someone would _dare_ to tamper with her mind like that. Whoever it was, even if they were the most powerful person on earth, _they would pay_. Tsunade's eyes narrowed until they were golden slits staring at her clenched hands, then raised until they were fixed on Jiraiya. "You are going to get Shizune, and I am going to check myself out. Then you are going to use those famed contacts of yours to find out who did this to me. _Understand?_" She hissed the last word, the malice in her tone unmistakable.

To his credit, Jiraiya was unfazed, rising from his seat and nodding to her once. "Very well. But search your brain too, hime. You're the one with all the answers."

When he was gone, Tsunade swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. Firm. Her body was fine, apparently it was her mind that was damaged. Had she even seen her attacker? Did she know them? She could count on the fingers of one hand the people strong enough to even perform a genjutsu that complicated, but none of them should have been even near Konoha.

A flash of fire, and walls crumbling. She shook her head. What was that? Jiraiya had said a flame genjutsu. Was that what it did? Show her fire until she didn't know real from imaginary? Another flash, but this time hand seals behind it. She punched her own fist into the wall in frustration. She was fighting her own mind; nothing else could be as frustrating. A third flash, this one of trees rushing by, falling, falling, a man…fire. This time it didn't come back.

She would sort out the mystery – whoever the attacker was, they wouldn't escape. She swore that on the memory of her family. He would pay with his sanity first, in place of hers, and then his life. That she promised.

* * *

In a tree outside the walls, a flash of red in the dark shadows of the branches disappeared into the waning afternoon light. His revenge had been sweet while it lasted, but still remained unfulfilled. There would be time though, there was always time.


	262. For Love of Child

Addster's idea =) I realize that throughout my drabbles I change the age Tsunade was when Hashirama died, but I don't think it's ever really been confirmed. ^^;

* * *

For Love of Child

Hashirama lay on the trampled ground of the battlefield he had created, feeling his life bleed out of his side. It was a bit sad really, someone of his caliber being taken down by ten jounin the enemy had sent, but against such numbers he could only kill so many.

He let his eyes drift to the side, following the tops of the trees that he had created from nothing but his own chakra to swallow up his enemies. A lucky shot was all that had killed him in the end – well, mortally wounded him. A lucky shot from a new jounin who just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Luck could get a shinobi killed just as easily as skill after all.

A red-haired woman appeared in front of his eyes, a stunning contrast to the green foliage in a deep blue kimono that set off her complexion. It took him a moment to realize she wasn't real, that instead she was walking towards him from some sixty feet in the air. As she stepped, stonework began to appear under her feet, radiating outward until he saw none of the battlefield he was dying on, but instead the open pavilion and courtyard of his clan compound on his wedding day.

Mito walked towards him, a wonderful vision of blue and red with a light smile upon her face. He reached out and took her hand, drawing her up on the slightly raised platform so she stood beside him. With one bright smile she disappeared, though her hand remained in his.

Now it was squeezing his tight, so tightly he could almost feel the pressure in his true body. Her face was contorted with the pain of childbirth, and he could hear faint voices in the background cajoling her to let him go, that they needed him. He didn't want to be needed, he wanted to stand next to his wife and help her. But the Kyuubi was desperately trying to escape its bounds, and the weaker she became, the more it fought. He needed to reinforce the seal.

With one more pained squeeze she let his hand go, freeing him to save both her and her child, and the rest of the village. His hands raced through seals before coming to rest on either side of the black pulsing lines on her abdomen, pushing his own chakra in to restrain the bijuu. He wouldn't give up; he _refused_ to give up. Slowly the lines stopped glowing an ugly black-red and faded, leaving just Mito and their child who was about to come into the world.

Even though he was dying, he could still feel that same joy that had blossomed in his chest when he first held his daughter and looked into her then blue eyes. They had faded to hazel with time, but he always found them the most entrancing thing about her. She was his life from that moment on and he would do anything to protect her.

He felt that same emotion for his two grandchildren, starting with the moment he had heard the news his daughter was pregnant for the first time – which he took rather equably for being a father, he thought – to when he paced outside of her room in the compound, trying not to wince with every scream he heard. When he had been called inside two hours later, it was the second – or first – greatest moment of his life to look down at his granddaughter with her thin blonde hair and startling gold-brown eyes. He swore to protect her always, no matter the cost to himself.

That memory of Tsunade as a baby faded and reality returned as a cold hard truth sunk into Hashirama's bones – Tsunade was out there fighting, and he wasn't protecting her because he was lying on the ground, letting some little wound try to kill him. Well, hell if that was going to happen.

He got first one hand under his body, then another, pushing himself up into a sitting position and pausing as his head spun. Blood still poured from the wound in his side, but now it was a minor annoyance as the _need _to protect his granddaughter surged through his veins. Dying from blood loss could come _after_ he had made sure she was all right.

He didn't care when he staggered except to right himself and move on, travelling at faster and faster speeds as he honed in on the exact place he knew Tsunade to be stationed. He had made sure that all the younger genin and chuunin were nowhere near the front lines, but there was always a chance…

He saw her two teammates first, lounging on a tree branch while remaining alert for enemy shinobi. Sarutobi was off on the frontlines somewhere, he was too powerful to not be needed. Tsunade. Where was Tsunade?

"Hokage-sama!" Jiraiya was the first to notice him, leaping down from the tree branch to land in front of the profusely bleeding Hokage. "You need medical attention!"

No, what he needed to do was find Tsunade. That was first. What if there was an enemy shinobi nearby? She was a Senju, and their family had far too many enemies. As though to prove his point a fireball came barreling through the forest only to be extinguished by Orochimaru launching a stream of water at it. The boy stared intently down the path it had created, but nobody followed it.

"Ojii-san?" Tsunade's voice floated from behind him. "Ojii-san!" She rushed towards him, hands already coming together into the seals Mito had taught her for medical jutsu, and glowing green. "You're hurt! What happened?"

"Tsunade, are you all right? Are all three of you all right?" he countered with his own question. They bore no signs of battle for which he was grateful. Perhaps he could relax…

"Well, there was one guy who attacked us, but we took him down easy," Tsunade told him distractedly, hands already placed over the wound. "We have to get you to obaa-sama, you're bleeding too fast!" Her lip was caught between her teeth as she realized she couldn't do anything to stem the blood pouring from his side. It was well out of her abilities.

"Not…yet. Where is he?" Mutely she pointed to the base of a tree where a body lay slumped. Good. They really could take care of themselves. Maybe he didn't have to worry quite so much. But wasn't that his prerogative as a grandfather? To worry about his grandchildren and make sure they were safe. Even at the risk of his own health.

Tsunade was tugging insistently on his arm, telling him over and over they had to go see Mito. Her words faded into a background hum and he let himself be led away. No, maybe he didn't have to worry quite so much, but he would anyway.


	263. For Love of Family

Addster requested the same events but in Tsunade's view, so here we go. No flashbacks though ;)

* * *

For Love of Family

Tsunade suppressed the urge to yawn. Sure, they were in the middle of a battle that could get her and her team killed at any time, but it didn't keep her from being bored, bored, _bored_. A man had crashed through the undergrowth about an hour ago, but before he could even get his bearings – apparently having been flung in their direction by a Konoha ANBU – Orochimaru had blinded him with a genjutsu, she dealt him a punch to the diaphragm that knocked out his wind, and Jiraiya sunk him deep into the earth, leaving Orochimaru to cut the man's throat. It was the work of less than a minute.

She knew somewhere out there her grandfather and great-uncle were fighting, and no doubt beating all they encountered with ease. After all, they were _the_ two strongest shinobi of Konoha, despite people like Sarutobi-sensei and Danzou-san working their way up the ranks. She felt a flash of family pride. Nobody would beat a Senju!

With the impeccable timing fate seemed to possess, it was at just that moment Hashirama stumbled out of the trees on a direct line with Tsunade. At first she didn't notice his appearance, happiness blooming at seeing her grandfather for the first time in days, but that happiness swiftly turned to shock and horror as her eyes took in his hand clenched over a spreading deep crimson area on his side.

"Ojii-san?" He wasn't allowed to be mortal! Hadn't the fates been paying attention? The Hokage of the village was untouchable, an icon of what it meant to be a paragon of strength! He couldn't be wounded, let alone _dying_! "Ojii-san!" She immediately raced through the hand seals she knew so well after drilling them day in and day out under her grandmother's tutelage. "You're hurt! What happened?" Way to state the obvious there she chastised herself, but at the moment she didn't quite care how stupid she sounded.

"Tsunade, are you all right? Are all three of you all right?" he countered, not letting go of his side until she pried his hand off of the wound so she could place her own over it. Immediately she could feel exactly how deep the wound penetrated into his side, and the tendrils of poison that were trying to seep through his veins. She could burn out some of them, but others were more ingrained than her expertise allowed for. He needed emergency help, and fast.

As she focused on the wound, she explained about the foreign shinobi that had attacked them. The two boys had moved the body to slump by a tree so it was out of the direct line of sight of anyone else to enter the clearing. "We have to get you to obaa-sama, you're bleeding too fast!"

"Not…yet. Where is he?" Argh, why did he have to be so _stubborn!_ Didn't he knew he was dying? And he was just standing in the clearing…she pointed to the body and the moment he began to move she tugged on his arm.

"We have to go so obaa-sama can get the poison out! I can't do it, you're dying!" She fought back a tear that tried to escape. Tears had no place on a battlefield. Instead she made a beeline for the medical tents that were just a few hundred feet further back, pulling her grandfather along as he faltered, stumbling a few times. _No_. She wouldn't let him fall, let alone die.

Mito was stationed in a small tent set a bit apart from the rest, for specialty cases and shinobi so badly wounded no other healer could even think of healing them. The Hokage of the village – and Mito's husband – most certainly counted. "Obaa-sama!" Tsunade exploded into the tent, Hashirama stumbling once again behind her with his face screwed up in pain and a hand clenched over his side. "Obaa-sama, fix him!"

"Hashirama?" Mito looked up from the man who's chest she was hovering over, checking and tightening bandages. "What happened?" She was much calmer than her granddaughter, who was nearly vibrating in place.

"Obaa-sama, you have to fix him! He's bleeding, and there's poison, and it's in his chest and…" Tsunade stopped abruptly as Mito held up one hand in the universal signal. "Heal ojii-san! He can't die!"

"Tsunade, will you finish with this patient please?" Mito asked her granddaughter, eyes calm and direct as they stared at the jittering twelve year old.

She didn't _want_ to check someone else's bandages and wounds, she wanted to heal her grandfather! But she couldn't. Which meant her grandmother had to do it instead, and she couldn't help. So she would do it, but only because her grandmother asked.

Even as Mito pointed authoritatively at a bed and Hashirama laid down on it, Tsunade peeled back the white bandages covering the man's chest. The wound was bad, but if this was what it looked like after Mito had worked on it, he was lucky to be alive. Out of the corner of her eye, Tsunade saw Mito place both hands over Hashirama's side having stripped away both shirt and armor, and glowing blue, not green. What technique was she using? Certainly not one Tsunade herself had learned yet.

Well, she would. At that moment Tsunade made herself a promise that she would do everything she could to learn every technique in existence to heal people so they _wouldn't die_. If she could bring her teammates and family back from the edge of death, she would learn to do it. No matter how long it took to study and learn. They were worth it.


	264. Raindrops on Windows

Okay first off I'm pretty sure this doesn't make a lot of sense at all, and I apologize for that.

Second I really really wanted to do rain.

Third the italics are from Enya, Listen to the Rain.

* * *

Raindrops on Windows

Tsunade put down the book she had been reading, wiping surreptitiously at the lone tear that remained in her eye. Sometimes she just had to sit and read a book that tore at her heart, to remember that people actually did have pasts worse than hers. Not that _anybody_ was allowed to know she would cry over something like that.

She turned her head to look out the window that was misted over on the inside, droplets of rain trickling down the outside, and heard the patter of the sky's tears as they fell onto the window ledge.

"_Listen to the rain…"_ the line from a long forgotten song floated through her mind. It had been…decades, since she had heard it last. "_Here it comes again…hear it in the rain…"_

She got up, letting the book slid off her lap and back onto the bed, and ran a finger along the inside of the glass, drawing a clear line in the fog. It looked so out of place on the window, one clean cut line with tapered ends in the middle of a sea of confusion, rain droplets trying to become visible from the other side while she could see three clearly. Even as she watched one trickled down the glass, trying to make an escape and swallowing up smaller droplets in its path.

It couldn't break away from the glass. Pitter patter, more droplets appeared on the glass, taking its place and following the same well beaten trail down, down, down. It was a never ending cycle of hope and regret…just like life. A dream looked for, a dream pushed for…a dream never realized.

Without realizing it, she began to hum. "_I can feel the lonesome sigh, of the sky, as it cries…"_ How true those lines rang. Not only the sky crying, but all the spirits of those who knew their dreams would never come to fruition. Alive, dead, it didn't matter. They were all brought together by the same desire – a hopeless one.

Unconsciously her finger reached out, picking up the end of the line she had drawn – almost completely filled in with condensation once more – and drawing up, over down…across the previous line, back up again. Without lifting her finger she traced a few more idle patterns, watching as they took form against the rainy backdrop.

A circle with a line drawn straight through, not stopping there but continuing up to loop around at the top. A line with a squiggle leading from it, ending in yet another loop. Over the two, what seemed to be an umbrella.

Protecting…whatever they were…from the rain, perhaps? She had long since given up trying to interpret her doodles, instead choosing to let her mind wander. It wasn't as though they meant anything after all. They were just drawings. She didn't buy into that talk about the subconscious telling the conscious things through pictures…they remained separate. Always. The only bridge between the two was dreams.

She flinched, finger marring a line through her drawing, as she remembered the dream from the night before that had caused her to want to read that specific book this morning. Running, running, never catching up, laughter, twirling, rain, falling, falling, brown, lilac…yellow…red. An impression of images, colors, and even a few smells that assaulted her until she had woken up with a scream caught in her throat. She didn't know why, didn't want to interpret. It wouldn't leave her alone unless she read.

"_Late at night, I drift away…I can hear you calling…And my name is in the rain…_"

There may be a call, but she wouldn't answer it. The hopes and dreams of the spirits belonged in the sky, crying their sorrows down to the earth, but the living didn't answer. They never answered.

Because if they did, they too would lose themselves to the rain.


	265. Papers and Drool

Yeah no excuse for this one. We'll go with that I'm a mess mentally and it's coming out in the drabbles so they don't make tons of sense. Original idea was Addsters.

* * *

Papers and Drool

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sarutobi asked once again, looking at the blonde woman standing next to his desk with wary eyes. "You really don't have to, I can handle it."

Tsunade shifted the baby in her arms once more and nodded, narrowing her eyes playfully at her sensei. "We'll be fine! You deserve the time off, and if you don't spend some more time at home Biwako might just murder you." Her smile widened at the shudder that involuntarily passed over her sensei. "Scat!" Scat he did, but not without a few more backward glances just to make sure she wasn't second guessing her offer. "Sensei if you don't get out of here I'll set Naruto on you!" That got him far away.

"Now." Tsunade turned to the wooden desk next to her, laden with piles of papers that had to be done. "Why did I volunteer for this again?" She knew why – Sarutobi had been swamped with busy work that wasn't actually necessary to running a village, but had to be done anyways, and needed a break. She had graciously stepped up, offering first to Biwako to make sure her sensei wouldn't go all noble try to wiggle out of it. He did try anyway, but Biwako had him in an iron grip.

In her arms, Naruto giggled and reached towards the floor, trying to tumble out of Tsunade's grasp to reach his destination. "Not so fast, baby boy. Gravity isn't your friend this time," she chastised him, but placed the eight month old on the floor so he could explore around a bit. He immediately crawled off to examine the crack where wall met floor.

With a sigh, Tsunade sat down at the desk and pulled the first stack of papers and a pen towards her, scribbling her name in an illegible scrawl across the bottom of each document. Nobody looked at who had signed off on the things anyways.

Over the course of four hours Tsunade read over and scribbled on the papers, slowly working her way through piles of mundane requests for more of this, less of that, a complaint here and there about a genin's conduct…negligible stuff. Occasionally she would stop and play with Naruto, checking to make sure he wasn't hungry, and kept an eye on him as he took a nap on the couch set against the wall in the office.

At the moment he was crawling around somewhere in the office. She wasn't worried about it, knowing there was nothing dangerous around to hurt him and that he couldn't leave. Her eyes swept the room once, but that bright thatch of blond hair wasn't visible. Well, the baby was probably under something, but he'd come out soon enough.

Tsunade turned her attention back to the paper in front of her. A completely absurd request for funds in order to start a water shop of all things. What were they going to do, bottle up water from the stream and sell it? Maybe they'd need distillation apparatus or something, but asking for _five million ryou_ just so they could start? Absurd. It wouldn't get much business anyway with such a nearby source of water. She ripped her pen across the paper in an x shape, then crumpled it up and tossed it into the overflowing waste bin next to the desk. She pitied whoever had to empty it, and hoped they wouldn't get too inquisitive. Not that anything in there was confidential.

She had just started looking over yet another document when she felt something…wet…against her heel. Wet and warm. She shot backwards from the desk, chair wheels spinning and right foot kicking out straight to get away from whatever was causing that. _Ew!_

A giggle came from underneath the desk and cautiously Tsunade lowered her head so she could look. Naruto was sitting underneath the workspace, grinning widely at her with bumpy gums shining in the light. He hadn't begun to get any teeth yet, but his drool rate had certainly increased. Her foot was maybe a foot above his head, and her heel in her open shoe shining with the same gleam as his mouth.

"Oh, Naruto you didn't…" a grin and hands reaching to grab the heel of her shoe was the answer. Tsunade rolled her eyes, lowering her foot until his small hands could grasp it and try to guide her heel back into his mouth. "Naruto, that's gross. You don't know where it's been."

His only response was to wrap both hands around her shoe and hold onto it tightly. She drew her foot back slightly and he slid along the floor, giggling once more at this new method of travel. "What are you doing, silly baby?" When her leg got close enough she grabbed Naruto around the torso and lifted him off, separating him from her shoe with ease. "See here, I'm not a chew toy. You don't know where I've been, okay?" She tapped a finger on his nose only to have it grabbed and guided to his mouth. "So you aren't listening to a word I'm saying."

"They tend not to," came a voice from the doorway. Sarutobi stepped back into the room, eyes laughing at the scene in front of him. "All babies see is something interesting to put into their mouths, and what better than their mom?"

She sent him an exasperated glare and tried to detach her fingers from Naruto's mouth, but failed. "And this stops when?"

"Not for another few months at least." Now he really did laugh at the expression of dismay on her face. "Get used to being drooled on a lot more than usual."

"Sensei, do you want to watch him for a bit?" Tsunade was generosity itself, feeling her heel dry. A trip to the bathroom was warranted and soon.

"No, I thought I'd come relieve you from your duties so you could spend some more time with Naruto; I see you've taken that into your own hands."

"Yeah…" she muttered under her breath, but there was a fondness to the tone. "Well I guess we'll leave you alone here then." She scooped the baby up off her lap, finally getting her fingers out of his mouth. "Give jii-jii a kiss, Naruto." When she held him to the Hokage's cheek, he obediently stuck out his tongue and licked the most powerful man in the village. "Have a good day sensei." She barely managed to suppress the giggles at his dumbfounded expression until she had left the room.


	266. Civilian Playmate

So this was sparked by Star Josherson, and her question - What if Jiraiya was a civilian? Then my brain took off. ^^ I have at least a few timeskips planned for this, don't know how long it will end up. Not too long. Probably. But I've given up predicting, I keep getting surprised XD

* * *

Civilian Playmate

Tsunade raced through the streets, blonde ponytail flying out behind her. She had _just_ graduated from the academy, and couldn't wait to get back home to tell her parents. Her grandfather was going to be so proud! The tests had all been easy of course, even though she had been one of the two youngest in the classroom at six years old. Sometimes she wished there was a third kid their age, so the three of them could be a team, but as it was they would be placed with one of the older kids as well.

She didn't see the boy that stepped out in front of her, a cardboard box in his hands, and even her newly certified shinobi reflexes couldn't stop her from careening into him.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" the white haired boy exclaimed, picking himself up off the ground and scrambling over to check his box. "If they're hurt…" he flipped the lid and gaze at the contents, scrutinizing them for any sign of injury. Tsunade couldn't see what was inside it, but it was obviously valuable from how he was acting.

"You should have watched where you stepped!" she countered. Sorry wasn't in her six year old vocabulary after all. "Is it okay?"

"Yeah, no thanks to you," he grumbled, pushing the cover over the box once more. "Who are you anyway?"

Tsunade gaped at him. She had heard some odd questions directed at her even at her young age, but _nobody_ in Konoha had ever had to ask who she was. "I'm the Hokage's granddaughter," she told the boy as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. At to her, it was.

"Him?" The white haired boy jerked a thumb in the direction of the huge red building her grandfather worked from.

"Yeah! That makes me a princess," Tsunade boasted. Obviously he would realize that at any time now and offer to play with her…

"So what?" She gaped at him. _So what?_ That was all he had to say? "What's your name?"

Okay the civilian must have had muck in his ears for all his life if he didn't know her, let alone her name. Well, she decided to enlighten him. "Tsunade."

"Jiraiya," he told her, jerking his thumb at his chest. "Toads." The thumb moved towards the box. "You hurt them, you answer to me, got it?" With that he scooped up the box and strode purposefully off along the street, leaving a stunned Tsunade in his wake.

* * *

It was a few months before she crossed paths with the civilian boy again, but he had never completely left her mind. For all that he lived in a shinobi village, he didn't seem to care much about knowing who the best of the troops were, and who led the village apart from the Hokage. _He hadn't known her_, and that was something she had _never_ encountered.

Tsunade had just gotten out of training with her team, led by her grand-uncle's former student Sarutobi Hiruzen, when she spotted him crouching by the creek, staring intently at something. His white hair was a distinctive feature she hadn't seen on anyone but her uncle.

"What're you doing?" she asked, coming up behind him as quietly as could be and leaning over his shoulder. He was a civilian, so there was no way he could sense her coming, and she wanted to get satisfaction out of seeing him jump. No such luck.

"Shh, you'll scare them," he told her, eyes not leaving the two toads just sitting there on the bank.

The blonde looked first at the toads, then back at him, face conveying her disbelief. "What're they doing?"

"Talking."

He had to be crazy, because there was _no way _those dumb creatures were talking. And besides, they were _slimy…_ "Do you wanna come play?"

"Later."

Okay, this was getting ridiculous. What was so entertaining about watching a pair of toads sit there? "But I wanna play now!"

"Then go play," he told her equably. "I'm staying here."

It wasn't like she had any other friends – no, she corrected herself, he didn't even count as a friend. It was just that everyone else was busy and didn't have time for her, and she was b.o.r.e.d. So she'd just wait until he was ready to play, yeah. It wasn't like he was making her. She could get up anytime and just leave. Yeah. So she plopped down on the grass covered hill behind him and proceeded to wait.

It was a good half an hour before he was done watching the toads, but during the time he told her a bunch of things he knew about them. Not that she even pretended to care of course, she just listened because she was bored. Not because he was interesting, or intriguing, because he didn't bow all over her…

"So whatcha wanna play?" Jiraiya asked finally, standing up from the crouched position he had been in.

"Tag!" she grinned. There was no way he'd beat her, she had a kunoichi's speed.

"Better, hide and go seek!" he countered, darting forward and before she knew what he was doing had tagged her. "You're it, bridge is base, count to a hundred!" Then he was running away, distinctive white hair ruffled by the breeze.

"You-Wait-Not fair!" she yelled, stamping a foot and crossing her arms. He chose the game, he should be it!

"Close your eyes and count!" he shouted back, words almost whipped away by the air. Well fine, if that was how he wanted to play, she would show him she was better by finding him in less than five minutes. After all, she was a kunoichi.

Evening found the two sitting back on the same river bank, each sucking on a blue popsicle on a stick. They had gone from hide and seek to tag to fortress battles, and she had to admit – grudgingly – he wasn't just a wimpy civilian. She had dominated tag, but he was pretty good at hiding and a better fortress builder than she was. Even with her accuracy she couldn't take it down.

"Hey Tsunade," he broke the silence, looking at her with his blue ringed mouth curved up in a grin. "Wanna do this again?"

"Yeah!"


	267. Surprise

So I have a general outline for this...it just depends on what my brain feeds me next for details that determines how long it will be. Thanks to Star!

* * *

Surprise

She was tired, covered in muck, and longing for a hot shower and a comfortable bed to crash on. Thirteen year old Tsunade had had enough of the great outdoors for the next month after a two week mission that involved chasing a renegade mercenary non-stop for three whole days through the pouring rain and the blazing heat, not to mention trees, mud, fog…she was going to stay indoors for the next two days.

"Hey Tsunade!"

With a groan, the blonde stopped in her trudging path, not bothering to turn around. There was only one person in the village who would use that voice and it was…

"Catch!"

She dodged the toad he tossed at her instinctively, then snagged out a hand and caught the poor creature. The last time she had let it fall to the earth he had lectured her for _hours_ about how the toads were creatures too and they deserved just as much if not more consideration then people. The fact that he was the one chucking them around didn't seem to be a valid argument, as he said they liked it. Just not the landing. In the seven years she had known him, Tsunade still had yet to figure out _why_ he was obsessed with toads.

"Jiraiya." It was more of a statement then a response. "I thought you had to help out at the shop today?"

"Nope, the old man gave me a day off!" he grinned back, holding out a hand for the amphibian that she gratefully slapped into it. Even after seven years she still thought toads were slimy and a tad disgusting. "Knew you were coming back today too."

Tsunade didn't bother trying to question how he knew that either. For all that he wasn't a shinobi, Jiraiya seemed to know an awful lot about the goings on of the village, except when it came to certain things. Like exactly how she was related to the Hokage. "Well you can wait to see me until I make my report and sleep for three days straight," she informed him, turning on her heel to begin to walk away once more.

"Does that mean you don't want to see the surprise?"

She wouldn't turn around, wouldn't turn…wouldn't…"What surprise?"

"Now if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise would it?" he grinned at her, which only grew wider at her growl of annoyance. Being a civilian, he was one of the few who could tease her without expecting a fist to the head. And she didn't want to kill off the two remaining brain cells he had left anyway.

"Gotta catch me to get it!" He darted off, quickly ducking through groups of people outside shops and clustered on the street, and she followed. He was good at hiding, and she was good at seeking. Nobody blinked twice at seeing the two teenagers streaking through the streets; it had become a common place occurrence over the years.

She had lost the white haired boy somewhere. Well, it wasn't like their games of tag and seek had any limits on them, Tsunade mused, and with that took to the rooftops. Searching, searching…there! Moving towards the marketplace district where he worked. As though he knew where she was, Jiraiya turned around and stuck out his tongue in the direction of the rooftops, then continued running.

Why that cheeky…she put on a burst of speed, leaping over gaps in the roofs with the ease of long practice. She was getting close…drawing even with him…edging ahead…wait he had turned away! Tsunade frowned even as she ground to a halt. They always met up outside the pet store, where he'd give her a box of something small as a welcome back from a long mission, and she'd give him something she had picked up if they passed a town. But…he wasn't going there.

Her frown deepened as he slowed his pace through the crowds to make sure she didn't lose him. Where could he be going? There was nothing in this direction but a forest of trees bordering the stream that cut through the village. Well, she trusted him for all that he was an annoying brat who threw and talked to toads. She really was going to crack that mystery at some point.

He stopped at the base of a tree and waited for her to drop down next to him, rubbing nervously at the back of his neck. "Well I don't have a gift to give you this time, really…" he began, eyes shifting to the side to avoid looking at Tsunade.

"No gift, how ever will I survive?" she mocked, giving him a light punch in the shoulder. "Give it up, toad-boy. I'm a kunoichi, I don't need gifts every time."

"Let me finish!" he bristled, unusually serious. "Well I can't give you a gift this time, but I made you one, see?" He pointed upward, at what seemed to be a brown rectangle built against the tree trunk up on a branch.

"…What is it?" Normally she wasn't that slow, honest. It was just that after a mentally and physically draining mission, she couldn't quite grasp the significance of whatever was up in that tree.

"It's a tree house for you!" He seemed a bit indignant she hadn't been able to recognize what it was. "I built it so you have a place to go sometimes if you don't wanna stay at the compound!"

She blinked once, then stared at him. "You built it." He wasn't covered in bruises, contusions, scrapes, lacerations, or any other physical injuries. "You swear?"

This time he glowered at the blonde and hit her on the shoulder. "Why is that so hard to believe?" It was a rhetorical question. "Yeah, I built it…"

"How long did it take?"

He muttered an answer she didn't quite catch. One hard poke to the shoulder later – "Two weeks." A hard glare and another poke. "Fine, four months." That she believed. And the fact he had spent obviously a lot of time and a bit of his own hard earned money on it meant a lot more than anything she could do for him. But she would try.

"Hey Jiraiya…you like toads right?" He gave her a look that said 'No duh'. It wasn't her fault her brain wasn't really working! "What if I told you I could get you real toads that talked?"

The shining look in his eyes made her day.


	268. Keep Coming Back

Here we go with the next part! Not quite sure exactly how I'm going to develop the next bit of my outline, but I'm sure I'll get something going...

* * *

Keep Coming Back

Tsunade was twenty one and tired of missions and war. She was tired of being deployed on long term missions that ate up the years, tired of killing, tired of being tired. But it wasn't going to change anytime soon, and being a kunoichi was all she knew how to be anyway. It was too late to change now.

She made her way through the dark streets, nodding to the random passerby here and there on the nearly empty walkway. They nodded back, some smiling slightly as they recognized the Shodaime's granddaughter. She didn't bother to return the smiles, instead trudging on. She didn't really know where she was going, only that she wanted to lose her mind for a few hours.

Not many shops were open, which already limited her choice, and she hadn't been in the village for the past few months – businesses came and went even in that short a time due to the war. Lining the streets she saw very few businesses with lights from the doors, and she didn't want a cheerful place. No, she wanted somewhere she could just sit and nurse a drink, and not have to talk to anybody or pretend to laugh.

She walked past it at first, before backtracking and looking in the window. People sitting at tables in small groups or alone, not really talking. Someone stood in the shadows behind the bar, their back to the door, mixing a drink. Her kind of place.

Tsunade pushed open the door, striding to the bar and snagging a stool to straddle. A raised hand had a bottle sliding down the bar towards her on a saucer, and she smirked a little. Whoever ran the bar had style for sure.

For a few minutes she sipped and nursed her sake, staring into the depths of the rice wine in the hope that it would tell her something she didn't already know. Fat chance. All she saw was the bottom of a ceramic cup and two weary golden eyes looking back at her.

She was so engrossed in her thoughts she didn't notice when the bartender came over to lean on the wooden counter-top next to her, elbows on the edge and hands clasped loosely. "Well well, look who we have here."

She didn't recognize the voice at first, not until she looked up and saw the white. It was longer than she remembered, but just as unruly and spiky. They had lost touch over the years as she was called away on mission after mission, and he had to stay in the village to work hard. It was small wonder there were so many shinobi-civilian friendships. The lifestyles simply didn't work together.

"Yeah?" She didn't have the desire to say anymore, or to open that can of worms. One day she had come back from a mission to meet him, and he simply hadn't been there. Then when he tried to find her, she was already gone. Obviously the fates had been trying to tell them something.

"Seems you've been pretty busy," he stated, reaching behind the bar for a second to pull out a mug and a dishrag. He flipped the cloth over his shoulder and inspected the glass, not meeting her eyes. "Bad times?"

Somehow the fact that he was behind the bar now instead of running adventures with her made a difference. A huge one. "You could say that. The mission went bad and we lost the border." She winced as she remembered the panic on her teammates' faces as they retreated, dodging a hail of kunai and shuriken, dragging an injured member with them. She had been able to patch him up, but he wouldn't be able to use the leg without a crutch ever again.

"Mm." It was a noncommittal sound that coming from anyone else would make her want to punch the speaker, but somehow he managed to make it inviting, and she wanted to take the opening. And his face was so…open. Just like it had been when they were kids.

"How did you end up here?" she asked instead. She couldn't drain the poison from the wound just yet. But last she had known, Jiraiya was working somewhere in the marketplace, doing odd jobs for extra money he needed.

"Oh you know, wanted to be my own employer," he answered easily, starting to wipe down the mug in his hands. It looked clean enough to her already, but the movement seemed oddly natural to the white haired man. "Seems a lot of people just want a place to sit down and talk or think, and there aren't enough in Konoha now after all the problems with supplies. Figured I could get a pretty good business going if I could just get enough to keep the patrons stocked and a kinda quiet place." He sent her a crooked grin. "Doing better than most of the older places in the village."

She rolled her eyes and slapped him lightly on the arm, just like old times. "Try not to let that ego get too big, or I'll have to take a pin to it again."

"You'd try," he countered, grin widening when she managed one of her own. "You never could figure out how to get around your own ego first."

"Hey, I was the princess," she rolled her eyes again. "People bowing to you every day goes to your head."

"You mean until someone dunks said head in a lake."

Her eyes narrowed, "I never did get you back for that." In a swift move she grabbed her sake bowl and – with only a little bit of mourning for the waste of sake she could drink instead – tossed it over his head. Jiraiya stood there, rice wine dripping from his hair, eyebrows, nose, and chin, face screwed up to keep the liquid from reaching his eyes.

He looked so much like the toads he had worshiped that she couldn't contain herself and let out a whoop. "Not so proud now are you?"

"It's bad form to throw alcohol on a bartender," he countered, running the dishrag over his face in an attempt to get the liquid off. "Makes him not want to serve you anymore of the stuff."

"But you'll serve me, won't you Jiraiya-kun?" She placed emphasis on the honorific, giving him the puppy dog eyes he had never been able to resist. This was so much fun, why had they stopped being friends again?

Jiraiya glowered at her, but then his mouth began to curve up into another grin, ruining the effect. "Yeah, I suppose I will. On the house." He reached behind the bar and pulled out another bottle of sake. "To take with you." As she grabbed at it, he raised one finger and refused to release it. "On one condition."

"Oh?" She arched an eyebrow at him.

"That you keep coming back."


	269. Barkeep

This one was kind of hard, just because I knew what I wanted at the beginning and what I wanted at the end, but now how to connect them. *Sigh* Oh well, hope this suits. =)

* * *

Barkeep

Tsunade threw back her head and laughed, enjoying the bass chuckle she drew from Jiraiya across the bar. "It wasn't really that funny," he told her, but his eyes grinned in response.

"You can't tell me you didn't enjoy it," the blonde woman admonished, suppressing another giggle that threatened to bubble out of her throat. When his only response was to hum and shrug, she lost the minute control she had burst out laughing once more, gripping at the edge of the bar to keep from falling off her stool.

Jiraiya simply shook his head and looked at her, taking in the image of Tsunade relaxed with her blonde hair loosely framing her face, worry lines temporarily smoothed out by hilarity. He thought it made her look at least six years younger without the cares of the world resting on her shoulders.

"So," she finally calmed down again, looking at him with eyes that danced with suppressed mirth. "Have you been up to any other adventures recently?"

"Well there was that one time with the dartboard and a case of beer…"

* * *

He loved it that she kept coming back time after time, as she was sent away on missions and she returned covered in dirt and wearied with the world. Sometimes she was just looking for a place to sit and think quietly, sometimes for conversation to forget about the world outside his little bar. It was people like her that allowed him to stay open, where they tried to retain a sense of normalcy in a place they could sit quietly in and just enjoy the solitude.

This time when she walked into the bar with a wounded animal look in her eyes, he got a series of sake bottles ready and lined up at her favorite place at the end of the bar. Without a word she sat down in front of them and immediately poured herself a saucer, gulping it down and pouring another.

It was five saucers later before she even looked up from her alcohol, the rice wine having taken the edge off her pain. He knew what day it was. The whole village had known when the Shodaime's grandson had died this day six years ago, and how devastated his sister was.

Jiraiya didn't ask her the question 'do you want to talk' out loud, but it was apparent in the way he lingered near the bar, keeping an eye on both her and her level of alcohol. It was two bottles before she gave him a slight nod that told the white haired barkeep it was safe to approach.

"He would have been eighteen," were the first words out of her mouth, not even slightly slurred by the sake she had consumed. Her eyes weren't tear bright, he noticed, but rather hard with pain and wounds of the heart. "Eighteen and probably jounin by now, or maybe ANBU."

He remained silent when she paused, waiting for her to gather her thoughts and figure out what she did and didn't want to reveal or relive from her brother. As far as he knew, she studiously avoided talking about Nawaki with anyone, and the fact that she trusted him enough to bring it up told him a lot about how close they had become again.

"And Orochimaru, his _sensei_," she spat the word, "couldn't protect him. It wasn't his fault. It really wasn't." He could see her trying to believe that, but somehow it didn't fully take. There would always be a bit of her that would resent her teammate for her brother's death. "But Orochimaru betrayed the village." That wasn't as common knowledge, but anyone with an ear to the ground knew about it. "How do I know Nawaki wasn't just another part of his twisted schemes? How do I know…" Tsunade ruthlessly suppressed a sob and poured yet another saucer of sake for herself. "How do I know my brother wasn't just killed because Orochimaru didn't need him and didn't want the attention?"

He watched as she gulped down the sake in an attempt to keep the sorrow and agony away just a little longer. Bartenders were peoples closest confidantes, but that didn't mean they always knew what to say to make it better. Sometimes it was just better to have someone listening to you who you knew wouldn't judge you and wouldn't care what you had done or said. They were the last resort.

So Jiraiya kept quiet, keeping his expression blank. She didn't want a sympathetic face, she wanted a friend who acknowledged her pain, but didn't try to understand it or make it all better. Sometimes that hurt worse than the wound.

He kept the bar open extra late that night for her, when she was the last patron left there nursing a bottle, silent tears running down her face as he respectfully kept to the other half of the room, quietly cleaning up. Only when he saw she had finished that last bottle did he go over and gently pry it from her loose grasp, placing it with a group of others to take care of tomorrow.

"Let's go, Tsunade," he told her quietly, stepping around the bar to stand next to her. "It's time to go home."

"Home?" The word was repeated with a cruel irony behind it, but she didn't say anymore. He locked up and got her as far as the shinobi district before he had to turn back to his own apartment. She didn't thank him for his help or even acknowledge him, but he didn't expect it. That was just who Tsunade was.

* * *

A week later he was walking through the village streets, searching for some more ingredients to stock behind the bar for snacks, when he overheard a group of women whispering.

"Did you hear?"

"She left."

"I heard she was forced out."

"No, I heard she abandoned us."

He edged closer, trying to hear this newest gossip. As a barkeep he always got the juiciest tidbits eventually anyway, but news was best when fresh. And maybe he would have something interesting to share with Tsunade later in the evening.

"Tsunade-hime has left Konoha for good."

Jiraiya stopped dead in the street, feeling as though his heart had just plummeted far past his feet and deep into the ground below.


	270. Visiting

I like this one. =) I get to torture civilians.

* * *

Visiting

It was his fifth visit to the Hokage Tower and the first time he had been let inside. So few civilians ever got to see the Hokage despite the supposed equality in the village, because he was always so busy with shinobi affairs. But he had finally wrangled an appointment out of the secretary and there was no way he was going to let the chance to find out _why_ be taken from him by something as paltry as a _substitute secretary_.

"I don't care what that book in front of you says, I made an appointment two weeks ago and I _am_ going to go up to that office. So why don't you get off that lazy ass of yours and check with the Hokage himself?" Screw civil, Jiraiya had passed civil a long time ago when the man at the desk had informed him that he obviously did _not_ have an appointment because his name wasn't written in the little red book open on the desk. To which Jiraiya countered he didn't care what the book said, he had an appointment and no snot-nosed secretary was going to keep him from it.

He wouldn't have talked to the man sitting there if he had been a shinobi, but another civilian was fair game for him to unleash his temper on. The white haired man seemed to be riding the knife's edge since _she _had left, and damn if he wasn't going to get his answer _today_.

The secretary met the obsidian eyes that were glaring at him, and flinched. "I can't just go and ask him!" he almost squeaked, trying to curl into a point of nothing. "He's the Hokage!"

"Well, if I have an appointment, he's surely sitting there doing nothing right now," Jiraiya countered with awful patience. "And no doubt becoming irritated as I don't show up, which is all your fault." This time the secretary _did_ squeak just like a little mouse, and Jiraiya could almost picture little whiskers twitching on either side of his nose. But even that image couldn't break through the storm of anger woven around his brain. "_Scat._"

Scat the man did, scrambling up the steps next to the desk with a speed about as fast as the slowest genin. Jiraiya rubbed at his forehead, trying to smooth away the frown lines that were already giving him a pulsing ache in his head. He should have just passed the man by, not caring what the secretary said. _He_ knew he had an appointment, and so did the Hokage. Probably. The barkeep sighed, rubbing at his head again. Life seemed to get so complicated after she left, but that didn't make any sense. One woman shouldn't be able to turn his life upside down just because she wasn't there.

It wasn't very long until the man pounded down the stairs once more, a look of awe in his eyes. No doubt it was maybe the second time he had ever spoken to the Hokage in person. He also didn't look apologetic at all. "You can go up."

The white haired civilian rolled his eyes. Yup, suspicions confirmed, the man was an ass. Without a word to the man he walked up the long flight of stairs that led to the depths of the Hokage Tower. For all that it seemed complicated on the inside the building was actually a simple layout full of rooms with information and meeting rooms for officials, as well as the Hokage office on the edge facing the village. The stairs led to a hallway and the hallway stretched the length of the floor with different rooms branching off of it. Even the civilians knew how to find the Hokage's office.

He arrived at the wooden doors and stared at them for a moment. Imposing and plain, they shielded the most powerful man in the village. No pressure. Well, there was no turning back now. He knocked three times, loud enough he could hear the sound on his side. "Come in."

The door swung open easily at his touch and Jiraiya stepped into the large office, squinting his eyes slightly against the light coming in from the wall of windows opposite. A man was standing silhouetted against the light with his hands clasped behind his back, and for a moment Jiraiya forgot why he had come. Until he remembered exactly who the man was. "Where has she gone?" The question came out with more venom than he expected, but he was _pissed_. As the Hokage Sarutobi had to have _some_ idea.

The elder man was silent for a second, then turned around and met Jiraiya's eyes with a steely glare. "I will overlook that outburst because I know why you are here, but I will not tolerate it a second time."

Crap. Jiraiya closed his eyes and fought for a reign on his emotions, only opening them when he was sure he could speak civilly. "Do you know where she is?"

"Who?"

There was no way Sarutobi didn't know _exactly_ who, but Jiraiya answered anyway. "Tsunade."

"Senju Tsunade?" Damn it, he wasn't there to waste time and play games.

"Yes, Senju Tsunade. She left the village, _where is she_?" He couldn't keep a little heat from creeping into his words.

"Why would you care?" The question cut through the haze surrounding the civilian's mind and he stared at the Hokage. What? "She came to your bar, talked, had a few drinks. None of that merits this kind of effort into finding out where she has gone."

Jiraiya's mouth fell open. Was the Hokage saying he had no right or reason to inquire about Tsunade? From an outsider's standpoint, he didn't. But she was his _friend_, one of the few people in the world who knew anything about him apart from his hair color and name. She could make him laugh. She was his friend! "Please." Did he really just say please? He couldn't believe that word had come out of his mouth.

It seemed to do the trick. The Hokage lost his ridged posture and his shoulders slumped imperceptibly. "She has left without telling me where. She hasn't told anyone."

"Why did you let her?"

"It was her choice. I would not interfere."

"But –"

"Would you really make her stay when she was miserable?"

Jiraiya started, then met Sarutobi's eyes. "I would have tried my best to keep her from being miserable."

The old man sighed, eyes closing briefly before opening full of more pain than Jiraiya could imagine carrying. "Sometimes wounds of the heart are soul are not so easily healed. Even the best cure doesn't always work." He turned on a heel and faced the windows again, a clear dismissal.

Jiraiya stared for a moment at the Hokage's back, then left the office. Sarutobi had both said nothing and said everything. He just had to figure it out.

* * *

He stood outside the bar he had made his from scratch, sighed, and flipped the sign on the door. Closed. Forever. He didn't think he could continue to run the place now that she wasn't coming back. He had a nice bit of savings collected in a bank he could use for a while until he found some other way to make money.

He knew try as he might he couldn't erase the memories of the past, but maybe he'd at least try to find a way to move on. After all, she wasn't going to come back, that was obvious. And if she wasn't going to come back, she shouldn't have any more effect on his life.


	271. Ramen

This one is more of an interlude and set up. Thanks to Star Josherson for asking a couple questions and a few ideas that sparked a bit of this =)

* * *

Ramen

Jiraiya studied the blond boy engrossed in his training with an observant eye. The Hokage had pointed the boy out as a civilian orphan turned shinobi, and obliquely suggested the boy could use some guidance. Sure the boy had shinobi teachers, but he needed someone who could teach him about things outside of the life of a warrior as well. Or so the Hokage said. Personally Jiraiya thought it was an excuse to keep him from making his way around the women's bathhouses too often, but he wasn't going to complain. Much, anyway.

After closing down his bar he had moped around the village for a bit, doing odd jobs here and there just to keep his mind busy. It worked pretty well, except for the times he passed the forest where he had built a tree house, or his bar, or the Hokage tower. Then he hurried past, trying to blank out his mind. It wasn't right that she had so much influence on him still, when he had known her for maybe six years altogether, and most of that when they were too young to realize how different two lifestyles could be.

Well, she was certainly staying out of his mind – mostly – now that he had found a new passion. Writing. There was something enticing about creating a world out of nothing but an idea; character, plot, enemies, and all. And even better, the boy the Hokage had…assigned, for lack of a better word, to him was helping tremendously with his dreams and skills.

"Do that again Minato?" Jiraiya tapped the cap of his pen against his teeth as he watched Minato run through a series of move meant to incapacitate an opponent in close range. "Perfect." A few hastily scribbled words and he closed the journal he had been taking notes in with a deft movement. "What do you say to some ramen?" One of the events he had taken to doing with the boy was going out for lunch every couple of days. Minato needed not just a teacher, but someone to talk to and socialize with, the civilian had realized quickly. It probably would have been better if he was a shinobi, but take what you can get, right?

He even had a name ready for the book when he finally got it all written, just from listening to Minato's tales and ideas. 'The Tale of the Gutsy Shinobi'. A story about a hero who did everything in his power to fight for 'good' and his adventures along the way. It didn't hurt that he had modeled the main character after Minato either, but for a name change to…something. He hadn't come up with it yet.

"Ramen!" Minato exclaimed, immediately racing out of the field to catch up to the civilian who had already begun walking away. "Can I have five bowls this time?" It was custom for the blond to try to wheedle as much ramen out of Jiraiya as he could – and that depended on how generous Jiraiya was feeling with his wallet that day. After a good day of notes and writing, he decided it didn't hurt to splurge a little. Especially if the book sold as well as he hoped.

"Gaki, you can have six bowls." Minato's yell of glee could probably be heard all the way down at the ramen stand, and for a second Jiraiya pitied Teuchi, the young man who ran Ichiraku's, instead of his wallet. For a second. Looking around, the white haired man realized his mentee was already gone. "Minato! You can't get any until I'm there!" he hollered, then rolled his eyes. "That boy and ramen…"

He took his time getting to the ramen stand, stopping once to pick up a toad along the pathway. That was another reason he and Minato got along, their shared love, if not passion, for the creatures. Minato even had the summoning toad contract that Tsunade had convinced the previous holder into showing him once as a return favor. He had never forgotten getting to meet the boss of the talking toads, or the ginormous pipe the huge toad sported. It was definitely a reason – not the main one of course – for keeping a part of Minato's life. _Someday_, he would meet Gamabunta again. The great toad had said so.

By the time he arrived Minato already had a bowl in front of him and was slurping down the noodles as fast as he could swallow. When Jiraiya shot the stand owner a dour look, Teuchi just grinned and shrugged as if to say 'What can you do?' Yeah, what could you do when faced with an insistent hyper twelve year old boy who had his heart set on ramen? Feed him to get him to shut up.

"Just a miso," Jiraiya told Teuchi, slapping a wad of ryou notes down on the bar. He knew from experience just how much to pay for both their meals, and paying in advance would keep Minato from eating more than Jiraiya was willing to pay for. The ramen bowl slid in front of him and the civilian grabbed the pair of chopsticks resting next to the bowl. It certainly looked good, just as it had the first time he had come here for ramen with Minato to break the ice and he had ordered a miso, then prodded Minato into ordering the same when the boy looked lost. Apparently nobody had ever bothered to treat him to food before.

A circular shape caught his eye, and Jiraiya grinned slightly. A fishcake, the one part of ramen Minato seemed to love above all else. The one thing the blond gaki had said that first day was "Can I have your naruto?" It had been a start. He had handed them over and watched in surprise as the flaky accent was practically inhaled, with the last one left to be savored.

A hero eating naruto…for some reason, that image of Minato examining the last naruto stuck in his mind. Fishcake, naruto, maelstrom…spinning and spinning and spinning with an epicenter, a calm in the storm. A savior is the calm in the storm…"Naruto." Teuchi sent him an odd look and Minato stopped slurping his noodles for a second to send a questioning glance. "That's what I'll do, I'll call him Naruto."

The ramen stand owner just looked a moment more then turned back to his task, no doubt writing the comment off as an eccentricity, but Minato grinned. "A name?"

"Yup." Jiraiya grinned back, quickly penned it into his book, and went back to eating his ramen. His writing career was on a track to be taking off, all he had to do was finish the book.


	272. To Protect

Another bit of...I guess, randomness. I'm trying to figure out how to tie in the last scene I 'saw' for this little series, and I'm not quite to the point I know what I'm doing yet. ^^' Oh well, it'll come soon hopefully.

* * *

To Protect

Although the Tale of the Gutsy Shinobi hadn't taken off very well, he was still proud of it. Actually, more proud of it than he was of his new best-selling series, Icha Icha. There was something about writing about the trials and life of a character based on a true shinobi that outshone a series of romance novels in his opinion – even if those romance novels were raking in the cash like there was no tomorrow.

Minato always pretended not to know those novels existed, preferring to ignore the fact that his friend wrote and therefore at some point acted through the scenes in the books. Jiraiya secretly suspected he had read the books and had a copy of each stored under his bed, not that he would ever get it out of the blond.

Ten years after he had first been assigned to help Minato socialize, the gaki became the Yondaime Hokage, and Jiraiya could claim a connection to the most important man in the village. He relished it. Sarutobi may have been accessible and made some attempts to get to know the civilians, but he worked mostly with the shinobi. Minato, however, had gotten to know a great majority of the civilian population quite well as Jiraiya took him around the village, and so kept a sharp ear out for any concerns that would affect the non-shinobi class of Konoha.

His open door policy to Jiraiya didn't hurt in the white haired man's opinion, either.

When the author read through his books – after all, it didn't hurt to read one's own works to see how one could improve – one of his main characters struck a chord inside him. Blonde, long hair, amber eyes, always wearing high heels. Maybe there was some truth to the theory psychologists had about your subconscious affecting all that you do. But nah, there was no way it was based on _her_ – after all, she had been gone for over a decade and he had forgotten about her. It had to be coincidence.

The fact that she kept reappearing in the oddest places in the story, disappearing just as quickly, never knowing when she would pop up. How the main character kept looking for her, but never finding her. How her laugh would sound like bells tinkling on the wind, or her long hair draped over one shoulder as shorter bangs framed her face.

Jiraiya shook his head, determined to dislodge such thoughts. Maybe it was time to visit Minato – it was long overdue. And the gaki's – he never stopped thinking of the blond like that, despite how mature the Hokage was now – wife/girlfriend/lover was pregnant. He liked Kushina too, she was energetic and cheerful almost all the time, and deadly in her own right. How a civilian managed to make such friends among the elite of the shinobi…well it must be a part of his natural charm after all.

It wasn't a long trip to where Minato lived with Kushina, and he rapped on the door authoritatively. Not that he had any qualms of walking into the house after all, but being on the receiving end of one of Kushina's blasts of temper for such transgressions wasn't an experience he wanted to repeat.

The door opened not half a minute after he knocked, and Jiraiya was greeted by a beaming young – relative to him – man. "Jiraiya! I didn't expect to see you here. Come in, come in." He ushered his friend through the doorway and into the main room where a sturdy table stood with a couple chairs around it. "What brings you here?"

"I was wandering the neighborhood and decided to drop by," Jiraiya grinned, sniffing at the air appreciatively. "Is that ramen I smell?"

Minato let out a chuckle, sitting down and leaning back in a chair as Jiraiya did the same. "Yeah, it seems the little guy has a love of it to rival my own. It's all Kushina can think of – morning, noon, or night."

"I'm sure it's not everything," Jiraiya winked at his student, then clutched at the top of his head as something thwacked down on it. "Kushina, no fair hitting a civilian!"

"Then a civilian needs to learn when to keep his mouth shut," the redhead countered, but smiled at the visitor. "Would you like some ramen as well?"

"I already ate, but thanks." Unconsciously, his hands played with the book he clutched in them, his first novel. "Besides, just thinking about ramen always makes me think of Naruto now."

"About that…" Kushina moved to stand behind Minato, resting both hands on his shoulders. "We've been thinking."

"Dangerous at any time," Jiraiya joked, then ducked quickly as a chopstick flew at his head. "Hey, no projectiles!"

Minato rolled his eyes. "All joking aside, we wanted to talk to you about an idea we had." Kushina lightly squeezed his shoulders, offering support, and Minato took a deep breath. "We want to name our son after your character, Naruto."

Jiraiya stared. Minato did know that Naruto was named for him, right? He couldn't have forgotten to tell the boy that…right? Actually, now that he thought about it, he had never mentioned where the name for his main character had come from.

"You see, he is the embodiment of all we want our son to be," Minato pushed on, taking Jiraiya's silence as consideration. "So we were hoping you wouldn't mind if we used the name."

"Mind?" Jiraiya croaked, and cleared his throat. "Gaki, I'd be honored." The little tidbit about the name would be his own little secret, a bond to tie father and son together known to no one but the author himself. He also had a feeling the poor boy would be called fishcake more often than maelstrom, but that wasn't a fact to bring up to parents.

"We'd also like to ask you to be his godfather."

Okay, now things were getting a little out of hand. There was always a bit of balance maintained between civilian and shinobi – the civilians worked the village, and the shinobi protected it. Maybe there were ties and families, but…Hokage to civilian? Almost unheard of. "You sure?"

"Yes." Kushina answered this time. "You're actually a better pick than a shinobi, because you won't die an early death in the line of duty." All three faces tightened at that mention. "This way we can be sure Naruto will be protected if we're both gone."

"Well, when you put it that way…" Jiraiya scratched at the back of his neck sheepishly. "How can I say no?"


	273. Back in Time

Eh, not completely happy with the last paragraph of this, but at 2am I'm not fixing it. Nope. So this wraps up the civilian Jiraiya series that's been going, hope you liked

* * *

Back in Time

He couldn't believe it had been twelve years. Twelve _very_ long years when he was looking after a hyperactive blond boy, Jiraiya reflected. Years when he had to explain to the Hokage about the paint on the stone faces, the ANBU chases, the water balloons thrown at the instructors, the glue on the chairs…he didn't even want to remember that one incident that had Naruto heading to ground for two days to keep from being dragged back to an amused Hokage by an irate Mitarashi Anko. Even as a civilian Jiraiya knew better than to piss that lady off. Or was that especially as a civilian...

Either way, he was sure that if his hair hadn't already been white from birth, it would have turned so in the twelve years since Minato's death and he, as godfather, assumed responsibility for Naruto. The council pushed for the infant to be sent to the orphanage on account of Naruto holding the Kyuubi, but he and Sarutobi wouldn't hear of it. And as a very popular author, Jiraiya had some serious heft with the civilians that could make life very difficult for the council members, so they quieted, grudgingly.

There were some days he regretted fighting that hard – usually the days Naruto decided to practice a new prank on him – but it was extremely rewarding to have a boy look up to him and see a figure he could trust, just as Minato used to do.

But now it was quiet around the house what with Naruto finally being a fully accredited genin. He hadn't had any doubt the boy would succeed, despite his difficulties with mastering the techniques required for the test – Sarutobi had explained to the now shinobi-knowledged Jiraiya that Naruto had a harder time because of his huge chakra reserves. Well, it wasn't like he could do anything to help the boy with that, so instead Jiraiya began to work on other exercises with him, like using the tree-walking Sarutobi had taught the boy one day to paint the ceiling and roof. Good training and it got him out of having to try to climb that damned ladder.

The Hokage was dead and Jiraiya was taking a break from trying to repair his house, smashed as it was from the battle that had raked through the village. Something about one of Sarutobi's old students, Orochimaru, holding a grudge against Konoha. He vaguely recalled Tsunade – a shudder at the name – mentioning Orochimaru had betrayed the village over some kind of twisted act he wanted to perform, but all that had been told to the civilians was the man had defected. Very helpful.

So Naruto's team was sent on a mission to go find a new Hokage. The boy got along well with his teammates, Jiraiya had made sure he promised not to insult the Uchiha boy he was teamed with, despite how stuck up the raven could be, and Sakura had been invited over for dinner once or twice. It helped he knew her father well so she knew him and Naruto from before the time they entered the Academy.

The identity of the new would-be Hokage was top secret, and even the promise of unlimited ramen couldn't wheedle it out of the boy, it was that serious. He could see it had pained the boy deeply to turn that offer down, so Kakashi must have put the fear of A Thousand Years of Pain in him. Well, there weren't many potential candidates out of the village, but Jiraiya still didn't have an inkling, for all he kept his ear to the ground.

Well, that wasn't precisely true. He had an inkling, he just didn't think she would accept if approached, so they had to know better than to go to _her_. After all, she hadn't come back to the village in over two decades, there was no way she would return now.

With a sigh the white haired man put down the hammer he was using to fix the roof and leaned back against the shingling. A good days work, although much slower than if he had a chakra-using godson here to help. Well, that would change because he was due back any day now. In the meantime, it was a good day to just go sit on a bench and write, and that was exactly what he was going to do.

He was quickly absorbed in his work, sitting on a bench in the shade of a tree along a path. The plot was just getting to the point where the main character would make that singular discovery that would rock his world, one he had been hinting at for four books now and he was…

A hard covered book slapped down on his notebook, jarring his arm. Florescent orange glowed in his vision, marking the book as one of his. No doubt it was yet another fan, come to ask if he would autograph…

"Did you really think I wouldn't notice who she is?" came a contralto voice from next to him. Jiraiya stiffened. He would know that voice anywhere, and it's owner wasn't supposed to be sitting next to him. "She's pretty recognizable once you realize what to look for." His head turned an inch at a time to gaze at the blonde woman sitting there, looking as she hadn't aged a day. Tsunade cocked an eyebrow at his expression. "What, not happy to see me? I'm hurt."

He managed to roll his eyes. "It's not like you left for twenty some years without telling me. Why wouldn't I be happy to see you?"

Her amber eyes darkened. "I never meant to…" she trailed off before she could complete that sentence. "Never mind. The point is, you wrote me into a book that's basically erotica!" One manicured finger stabbed at the orange cover. Oh, this mood he knew how to deal with. They could fix the rest later. "For that you're going to pay!"

"Only if you can catch me first!" he called out the line they had used nearly fifty years ago, bundling up his manuscript and sticking it in his shirt. "Check page one oh three." Apparently she hadn't read the book that completely, because she picked it up and started flipping through it…and he took that time to get all the head start he could.

"You pervert!" was his signal to begin an all-out sprint down the streets, heading for the safest place he could think of – the Hokage tower. "You better get back here and _fix it_!"

Not a chance. There was going to be a whole lot of emotional baggage to sort through – for all he claimed to have forgotten about her – but for now he'd enjoy going back in time about thirty years and letting his inner child out.


	274. Alone Time

A present for Kaiser969 for being the best and most wonderful person ever. Hope you like it!

* * *

Alone Time

Neji pounded at the tree in front of him, hitting it with hand after hand.

One, two, three...he could feel the muscles in his arms rippling with the movement, sliding under the skin.

Four, five, six...he would get better, faster, stronger, just practicing, practicing, pushing his body to the limit.

Seven, eight, nine...his back was dripping sweat, clinging to the contours of his shoulder blades and spine, trickling down towards his pants waistband where it found it's journey arrested. Sweat he could ignore, a nuisance he had trained himself to forget about. Distraction could get a person killed, and he wasn't going to be that person.

Add variety. Duck, weave, dodge, strike. Double strike, duck again, spin, kick. He could feel his abs flexing, curling up as he ran through the movements, his long hair flying out behind him but still constrained by the tie he used at the end. Deep in his muscles was that ache that told him he was pushing himself to the limit, past the limit, getting stronger. He would always get stronger.

Survival of the fittest, and survival of the careful. He believed in both, although the last part had come from his own observations. Don't make yourself known until you know the situation, and don't try to garner the attention of others. You were more likely to get killed.

Under the tree branch, up the other side, striking at the fork in the wood, sweep under, slash. He wasn't like his teammate Lee, needing rewards and mental goals to keep himself growing stronger. No, it was something so deeply ingrained in his body, mind, and soul that he couldn't - wouldn't - ever stop.

Sweat soaked hair flapped against his bare back as he turned again, stopped on a dime, and placed his hands gently together to signal the end of this bout of training. Sweat dripped off him, highlighting the ridges and muscles of his torso the sharp relief of the waning daylight. Shirts were too cumbersome when training strenuously, although he made sure his shirts were loose enough so as not to confine his movements. But wearing a wet shirt was uncomfortable at best, and he saw no reason to suffer discomfort but that which he caused himself during training.

Instead, he reached for the towel hanging over a tree branch and hung it around his neck, the ends coming to rest just below his collarbones. It helped to cool him off slightly, absorbing the heat he was radiating as a byproduct of training hard. Even more so when he wiped the sweat off his face with a loose end, although it came right back. He could almost see the steam coming off his body in the slightly chilled air of autumn, although it never got truly cold in Fire Country.

Grabbing his white shirt from the branch as well, Neji lowered himself to the ground, lying back against the tree trunk and feeling it's rough bark on his skin. He didn't want to go back to the village yet, instead being content to just sit quietly in the clearing for a little bit, aware of each newly worked and stretched part of his body and absorbing the pain into himself. Pain made a shinobi stronger.

He cherished the quiet moments he could grab away from the training compounds of the Hyuuga. Yes, they were better than his clearing, but the clearing was _his_ and those compounds were _theirs_. Here he could be Neji, not Hyuuga Neji, and revel in it. He closed the tale-tell white eyes of his clan and was shrouded in darkness. Yes, he could activate his bloodline and see everything around him, but where was the good in that? This way he could hear a birdsong and figure out where the warbler was by sound, feel the breeze lightly playing across his bare torso and finally cooling off the sweat, smell the crisp autumn air without seeing the trees that released it. No, sometimes it was better this way.

He didn't know how much later it was, but the sky was dark when he got up, slinging the towel over his shoulder for the walk back. His time was over, and as he slid on his white shirt, he also donned Hyuuga Neji.


	275. The Unwanted

Bit strange...I was originally going to do it to a poem I wrote - aoarashi. deviantart. com/gallery/#/d4dcg08 - but then I realized it didn't quite work, so I made it into three different perspectives. Oh well.

* * *

The Unwanted

He kept his head ever turning, looking out for that person in the crowd with a mean look in their eye and a snarl on their lips. Looking for the hands that would be raised for blows, prepared to dodge. He never knew the why, only the action and it's consequences. A week long stay in the hospital, bruises that healed and faded overnight. Broken bones, pain, blood, pain. Avoid.

He dreamt of the day he wouldn't have to be wary of every little movement and every person around him; a rare task for a six year old. The safest place he knew wasn't even his own apartment, but rather Hokage's office or on top of the giant faces of the Hokages past. There the citizens didn't try to bother him, beat him up, exact their 'vengeance'. He was the damned brat, the demon. Why?

He held out his arms and examined them. Five fingers on each hand, no deformities in the fingers. Tanned skin, scars here and there from scraps and injuries inflicted. He raised his hands to his face. A nose, two eyes, no lumps on his head. Thick blond hair he couldn't get to stay down, so he let it up unruly. Two ears, a pointed chin, cheekbones in a too thin face from not enough food. He was always overcharged.

Just for extra measure, he checked on top of his head once again. No, still no horns. How was he a demon? It didn't make any sense. But he somehow knew they would never stop, no matter what others told them. He felt broken, and didn't know how to fix it.

* * *

Again and again and again she tried, but she could never be strong enough, fast enough, good enough for _them_. She was the failure, the outcast, the eldest but the weakest. They tested her, and every time she failed she lost more ground that she could never get back. She felt as though she were on a slippery hill where at the bottom lay in wait the worst danger of all - extreme disappointment and exile. She couldn't sink that low.

Again she threw herself into the training, beating at a target meant for a full grown man with small fists. Just a little longer, she would...

The opening of a door startled her, and her sudden twist to see who it was sent her sprawling to the ground. All she saw was a pair of feet clad in elegant sandals and the hem of a robe. She knew who it was.

"Otou-san..."

"I expected better." His tone was completely neutral, but she knew what was hiding behind it. Disappointment, loathing, hatred. The heir of the clan couldn't even go through the simplest of forms without messing up after a month. Worthless.

"I'll do better, I promise!"

He didn't acknowledge her, instead striding out of the dojo and shutting the door behind him, cutting off the meager amount of afternoon light to leave her in dim darkness once more.

Small arms wrapped around her torso as she sank to the ground, shaking with silent tears.

Never good enough.

* * *

She sat with her legs pulled up to her chest, head resting on her knees. Maybe if she hid it, they wouldn't see. Maybe if she hid it, they would leave her alone. Maybe...

Yeah, right.

Hands yanked at her short hair, tugging her head up off her knees. A finger poked the skin of her forehead and a cruel laugh met her ears. "Look at how big it is! No wonder she doesn't have any friends!"

The same insult, the same speech, the same everything. It never changed with the day, but it still hurt. She didn't do anything to them, she couldn't help that she was smart. She had tried doing poorly on the tests in the hope they would leave her alone, but all that succeeded in doing was having the teacher call her up to the front to explain why she had failed. It didn't help anyway.

None of the other girls joined in, but they didn't help either. They were simply silent observers in a daily ritual, all at her expense. Why? Why was _she_ the victim? Just for a moment she wished they would choose someone else, so she could be left alone. But no, she was their easy target, never fighting back.

The last time she had done that, they almost broke her arm.

The unpopular, the outcast. Who would want the smart girl with the large forehead? Certainly not them.


	276. Imperfect Date

A dare from a new reader, NarutoFictionWriter. I hope this suits!

* * *

Imperfect Date

Hinata paced back and forth in the front room of _her _apartment, not her family's. If it had been her family's compound this wouldn't be happening. She was scared...no, excited...no, anticipatory laced with a bit of apprehension. She had been waiting for this almost her whole life, since that moment in the Academy. It was finally happening.

Again she smoothed her hands over the dress she wore, making sure there were no creases or wrinkles forming. She had to look perfect. If not for him, then for herself, because if this night didn't go perfectly, she didn't know what she'd do.

Just as she checked her reflection - again - a knock sounded on the front door, closely followed by an exclamation of "Hinata-chan!" and the wooden portal opening. She spun where she stood, startled eyes looking at the man who barged in.

"N-Naruto-kun!" She had mostly broken herself of that dreaded stutter but for the times he did things just like this, surprising her. "You're supposed to wait until they say come in!"

"Oh..." he reached up to rub at the back of his head sheepishly, then consciously stopped the movement. "Sorry. But I was so excited, knowing where we're going tonight..."

The white-eyed woman smiled gently. It was his turn to pick, and despite his declaration every week that they would be going somewhere fancy...it was always ramen. She didn't mind. Honestly, she thought Naruto did much better in an informal environment then a stand up restaurant, and anything that made him happy made her happy as well. "Well why don't you show me?" she asked, holding out her hand to the man, who accepted it with a courtly bow she had never seen him execute. "Where did you learn that?"

Unaccountably, Naruto blushed bright red, which clashed with his vibrant yellow hair. "Um...I...asked Neji to show me..." the rest was lost in a mumble.

"What was that?"

"To show me how to be a gentleman." The words came out in a rush of breath, and blue eyes shifted away from hers in embarrassment. "You know...so I can..." Another sentence he couldn't finish, but she understood what he meant.

"Naruto-kun, you could never be a disappointment to be; never. Okay?" She waited until he nodded solemnly, then smiled so brightly she thought the room would light up. "Then let's go get some ramen."

"How did you know we're going there, I didn't tell you!" he protested, but faltered under her knowing look.

"We always go out for ramen on your nights."

"Not always! There was..." he trailed off, trying to find a time they hadn't gone to Ichiraku's when it was his choice, and failing.

"Always."

"Eh..." another sheepish smile. "Shall we go then?"

Hinata nodded wordlessly, leading Naruto out of her apartment and onto the nearly deserted road decked in twilight. It was nice evening to go out and eat, she mused, looking up at the sky. Not too dark yet, but the normal inky blue was covered with what looked like grey stormclouds. She sent a small wish that it wouldn't rain while they were out.

The date went smoothly, with Naruto restraining himself to only three bowls of ramen and making sure to talk after swallowing mouthfuls of noodles. The glances the two garnered from Ayame were oddly reassuring to Hinata, allowing her to relax. So far, so good. Not that any dates she went on with Naruto were ever bad, but usually something unexpected occurred at some point. She just didn't know what this time's event would be.

She didn't have to wait long. Just as Naruto finished up his third bowl, the first droplets of rain began to fall, pinging against the canopy of the ramen stand and falling to the pavement lightly. By the time the blond finished paying, it was a fully fledged downpour, beating against the road with a drumming rhythm. Hinata stood at the edge of the covered stand, glaring at the rain. _Almost_ perfect, it was _almost perfect_. Then the weather of all things had to go and ruin it!

Naruto walked up behind her, placing both hands on her shoulders. "Guess what I like about the rain?" he asked lightly, not waiting for an answer as he stepped around her and out into the downpour. "It makes everything ten times more beautiful." Again in that same courtly gesture he held out a hand to her, and she took it, giggling.

"Does that mean it makes me ten times more beautiful?" she asked as he led her along the road, spinning in place every few steps to walk backwards in front of her.

"Nope," he replied simply, blue eyes sparkling. She gave him a moue, and the blond chuckled. "Nothing could make you more beautiful than you already are." Now if that didn't melt her heart, nothing would. Suddenly the rain didn't seem like a curse, but rather as a blessing.

"You know what else I like about the rain?" Naruto continued, pulling Hinata closer to him. He stopped next to a bench, right in the center. "It makes a wonderful curtain at night."

And with that he kissed her. Knowing her dislike of PDA, he never kissed her in view of others during the day, and she was still a bit skittish of it at night. But here in the rain, where a person couldn't see more than five feet in any direction, they were perfectly cloaked. As she clung to him, droplets dripping off the both of them as he kissed her, she blessed the rain.


	277. Fork in the Road

An idea from Star Josherson. I hope it suits.

* * *

Fork in the Road

Sasuke looked around the classroom, bored. Everyone around him either stared at him admiringly, or flat out ignored him; it depended on who he had annoyed recently. Next to him, a blond boy yawned widely and stretched his arms behind his head with a grin. "So? How'd it go?"

Sasuke allowed himself a smirk, not turning his head to give his neighbor all his attention. After all, why give up observing the reactions of everyone else? They tried to pretend they weren't listening in, but he knew otherwise. They all wanted to know who the newest unfortunate was. "It went perfectly."

Naruto let out a yelp of glee, punching the air as he shot up from his reclining position. "I knew they'd work!"

This time the raven shifted is eyes to the side. "What are you talking about, dobe? It was all my invention, you just had the seed idea."

"No way teme, I designed them -"

"But I'm the one who figured out how to make them work." For a second the two boys glared at each other, then broke into matching grins. The rest of the class stared on in a mixture of amusement and horror. They still didn't know who the victim was.

"Delayed response this time?" Naruto continued, playing to their audience as they did every day.

"Yeah, they shouldn't feel the effects until lunchtime." Simultaneously nearly the whole class looked at their lunchs in suspicion, save for Shikamaru who just yawned, bored. He wasn't ever a victim, he was too valuable of a resource to the two pranksters. After all, how else was he supposed to survive their 'raids'? Better to join and live another day than be a prankee at the hands of those two.

Iruka walked into the classroom to the same scene he saw every day now - Naruto and Sasuke as the center of attention, pretending not to notice, and the class hanging on to their every word in abject horror. "Ahem." No response as the youngsters continued to mutter amongst themselves and send glances at the pranksters. "Ahem." Again, nothing. So he did what he had resorted to every day - yelling at the top of his lungs with a voice magnified by chakra. "Sit down and shut up!" Just as always, he heard the simultaneous bump of twenty seven children shooting down into their seats, and Naruto and Sasuke exchanging one more round of comments before looking at him expectantly. That dual stare was unnerving, no matter how 'used' to it he got. It reminded him of a fish in a tank, where he was the fish.

He sighed, missing the days Sasuke had been an attentive student, studious and focused on his grades and improving. Oh, the boy still paid attention to the jutsus and whatever part of class happened to interest him that day, but he didn't bother to do any of the assignments or homework. It had all started five years ago, and the Uchiha had compensated by befriending the outcast of the village. A more infamous duo hadn't been seen since the Sannin, and most of the village was still scandalized by their hero hanging out with their pariah. Well, they could suck it up and deal. He was just happy neither boy was alone, despite the ramifications in the classroom or on their classmates. "Now that I have your attention..." and class went on.

* * *

Sasuke walked along the road to his small apartment, next to Naruto's by choice - choice that included pranking the Hokage every day for a month until the old man had relented and leased it for him. Self-preservation, when influenced correctly, could get them almost anything.

He kicked at a small rock in the road, watching as it skipped ahead of him. It was almost the anniversary. The day that liar tried to get him to believe a story of falsehoods he refused to accept. Sure, all the proof was there, but there were two pieces of contradictory evidence that tore the whole fabrication apart for the 'last' Uchiha. A smile, and a tear.

There was no way Itachi would murder their whole clan - it was that simple. He simply didn't have it in him. The Itachi Sasuke knew was kind, always looking out for him even when the elder sibling didn't really have the time, and protecting him. That Itachi would exchange friendly words with almost everyone in the clan, giving out rare smiles that meant all the more for their rarity. _That _Itachi wouldn't be able to slaughter all those people, but he had tried to convince the seven year old Sasuke he had.

Then Itachi had forced him to relive the scene of his parents murder over - and over - and over again. Itachi stepping into the room, their mother's scream, his father's feeble attempts at resistance...but it seemed oddly blurred. And when he had come out of that seventy-two hour long genjutsu, he had seen one thing that tore the shroud from his mind - a tear glittering in the moonlight. Itachi _never_ cried, not ever. So if he was crying, it meant something was seriously wrong; he didn't kill the clan. He didn't know the _why_ yet, but he wasn't going to rest until he tracked Itachi down, pinned his older brother to the ground, and got a straight answer. End of story.

Well, not quite. He didn't want to remember the Uchiha clan. Sure, they were 'the greatest people in the village' according to almost any villager he asked, but he distinctly remembered Itachi's dislike of their clan's attitude. So he distanced himself from the ways of his family, choosing to voluntarily let his grades drop, and becoming friends with the least likely person of all - Naruto. The blond boy was actually lots of fun to talk with once you got to know him, and Sasuke quickly found himself drawn into Naruto's ideas of fun. It beat practicing the same move over and over.

Besides, it was nice to have another nickname in the village besides 'The Last Uchiha', which wasn't even really true. 'The Greatest Prankster' had a satisfying ring to it.


	278. Costume Party

Kind of trippy. I was casting about for topics and realized Halloween is very soon, and Halloween means costumes...and enter a very weird fic.

* * *

Costume Party

"Boo!"

Tsunade didn't look up at the yelling figure that burst through her door, arms waving. Instead, she frowned down at the scroll in front of her, and with a few swipes of her pen, changed a couple words to sound…not more official, but less blunt and insulting. Only because Shizune asked, of course. "Naruto, what have I told you about…" She trailed off as the figure approached, waving oddly shaped hands – no, not hands, claws – in front of her vision. The blonde let out a yelp, scrambling backwards in her chair until it hit the wall. "_What –"_

"Do you like it?" Naruto grinned at her through what looked like a cockroach head with a space for his face. "Ero-sennin helped me make it!"

"_Naruto!_" Her voice really shouldn't be that high, but for some reason she couldn't seem to lower it. There was something about seeing him in a huge brown bug costume, antennae sticking straight up and to the sides, little tendrils on either side of his face, enhancing the whisker marks…and those _claws_! She couldn't look at his hands, it was just..."Why are you dressed like this!" Maybe if she yelled at him she would feel better.

The look he gave her was pure mischief. "For the costume party of course. Ero-sennin told you, right?" Obviously he knew the pervert had done nothing of the sort. "It's in an hour!"

"Naruto I'm not coming to any costume party…"

"He said there'll be free sake." Okay, that was tempting, it really was but…

"Naruto, I have work to do."

"Are you sure? Ero-sennin had it shipped in special from Snow Country for today, and there's gonna be a buffet with dango, and ramen, and chicken, and…"

Tsunade held up a hand – to stop the boy from speaking anymore and making her mouth water. "I really can't, I have work." Right. Not that she wanted to do it, but if Shizune caught her at a party…

"Shizune-nee-chan said it's alright!" Naruto interjected, as though he could read her mind. It was scary when he did that.

That did it. "I'll be there in – "

"Well, as long as you wear a costume."

Pause. "What?" She didn't have a costume, and there was no way that she as the Hokage was going to dress up as something remotely as ridiculous as a _cockroach_.

"It's the rules," Naruto explained patiently. "It's a costume party! That means you have to wear a costume." She heard the unspoken 'duh' at the end of his sentence but chose to ignore it.

"Gaki, there is no way I'm wearing a costume."

"Ero-sennin said to tell you that if you don't you don't get any of the sake and have to eat the sashimi." Dammit, that man knew her weak spots…

"Let me guess: he also said 'Don't shoot the messenger', didn't he," the Hokage growled, glaring daggers at Naruto as he stood unfazed in front of her in his stupid brown cockroach costume.

"Yup!"

"Fine, gaki, let's go _get me a costume_." Oh, she was going to regret this, but Jiraiya would regret it even more when she was through with him.

* * *

Five shops and seven traumatized shopkeepers later, she had a costume. That didn't mean she was happy about it. "Brat, if you _ever _tell anyone else about this, _ever_…" she began.

"You'll cut off my ears, stuff them up my nose, make me stand in a corner on my head hanging by my ankles, and put a drop of water on my forehead ever minute for the next ten years," he recited dutifully. "Yeah, I know." The blond was still in that cockroach outfit, and Tsunade had found out it even extended to a hard shell on the back that made it extremely hard for the boy to fit through any doorways except for going in sideways. And had resulted in her buying about an eighth of a store that Naruto had knocked to the ground with an inadvertent swipe of a claw and the brushing of the edge of that shell. "C'mon, let's go!" He raced on ahead of her, which should have been impossible with that huge shell going down below his knees, but somehow the energetic blond managed.

"Yeah, yeah," Tsunade grumbled, taking one more look at the bag she was holding, shuddered, and followed him more sedately. No, she wasn't deliberately delaying getting to that party…right. Because they wouldn't laugh…right.

* * *

"Tsunade!" Jiraiya yelled the moment he saw her step into the large room in her own tower. "I knew ya'd come!" His words were already slurring slightly, even though she couldn't smell a hint of sake on him. He threw an arm around her and escorted her to the opposite wall of the room. "Where's your costume? Can't have anythin' without it," and he winked. Honestly, if she didn't know any better, she'd think he was drunk on…well, something other than sake.

Rolling her own eyes, Tsunade threw his arm off and pushed away from the wall. "It's here. And if I hear you utter one laugh…" she trailed her threat off, letting him imagine whatever it was she would do to him. Naruto would have had enough time by now to get to the party and relate her threat to the blond to her teammate. And he knew if she was willing to do that to Naruto, he'd be twenty times worse.

Instead, the white haired man grinned widely at her. "Put it on!"

Sakura, standing behind the pervert, took up the phrase. "Put it on!" Then Ino, next to her. "Put it on!"

And suddenly the whole party full of costumed people ranging from an acorn – don't ask – to a salmon were chanting "Put it on! Put it on!"

A single sweeping glare had them all silencing and waiting for her reaction. That same sweep caught sight of the refreshments table, and the nearly irresistible food and sake that rested there. _You can't have anything unless you're in costume!_ "Fine," she growled, spinning on one tall heel to stalk to the adjoining bathroom. She ignored the cheer behind her. They would all pay for this – oh yes, they would all pay dearly.

When she emerged two minutes later to stunned silence, she pushed through the throng to the sake and immediately grabbed a bottle, downing half its contents in a few swallows. Even Shizune was took shocked to offer protest.

"Tsunade?" Jiraiya squeaked, eyes nearly bugging out of his head. She had chosen _that_?

"Say one word and you die," was her growled response to the room as a whole, and she downed the remainder of the alcohol. She was going to get drunk and forget the whole sorry mess. It had better be worth it.


	279. Murphy's Law, Take Two

Continuation suggested by Addster, the last part of it will be tomorrow.

I firmly believe in Murphy's Law - it is the only certain point in my life. Like today for example, just when I thought my next two weeks couldn't get any worse, I found out something that made them about 3x worse. Yeah. That be my luck. Hello, Murphy's Law.

* * *

Murphy's Law, Take Two

Tsunade worked, and worked hard, trying to bury herself in paperwork. Maybe if she stayed up here long enough, they'd all forget it ever happened and that it ever existed and leave her alone…yeah, wishful thinking never got a person anywhere.

The blonde groaned and let her head fall with a thump onto the stack of papers before her. Shizune would be pleasantly surprised by her work ethic – once her assistant woke up from the near comatose state she was in. Another groan. That night was going to haunt her forever until she could block it out from her memory. And hopefully those of everyone else there too.

A knock sounded on the door, and she looked up expectantly. Surely it was Shizune recovered from the effects of the party and come to collect the paperwork. Then she would see how much was done and compliment Tsunade, saying now wonderful it was the blonde was taking an active interest in the internal affairs of the village, when she really couldn't care at all which family got a load of ingredients because they were running low…

When Kiba barged through the door without waiting for a 'come in', she was first surprised, then angry. But it was the gleeful expression adorning his face that made her wary. No, it wouldn't do to explode on a boy who looked like the cat who had swallowed a canary – or rather, a dog who had just gotten a _very_ tasty treat.

"Inuzuka, what can I do for you?" she asked pointedly, reminding him just how superior she was to his chuunin rank, and just how easily she could make his life hell.

The boy wasn't even fazed. "You'll never guess what I got!" he almost sang, waving a fist clenched around a manila envelope at her.

Tsunade's narrowed eyes followed the envelope as it wove in front of her, then switched back to the Inuzuka to try to glare holes through him. Very soon, the boy would remember she was his Hokage and could send him flying through the wall with a flick of her finger. But then again, he was an Inuzuka, and they needed a few lessons before it stuck. "You do remember who's office you're in?" she tried to ask pleasantly, but it came out as a growl.

The boy had the nerve to send her a cheeky grin. "Yup! And you'll be dying to see these!" With a flick of his finger the envelope was open and spilling it's contents across the desk.

At first she didn't realize what she was seeing, but then horrified recognition dawned. No. No way. No way was there _evidence_. She could destroy it, right? No one would need to know but Kiba. But then, someone had to print them…she could find that person too, and threaten them into silence. Destroy their stock if necessary. No…these couldn't exist…

Kiba laced his hands behind his head and grinned at Tsunade's horrified expression. Yup, he had her dangling on a line now. But he wasn't stupid enough to use that evidence as a leash to hold the Hokage, no. That was just asking for the most painful death possible. Instead…"So, ya remember it?"

Golden eyes snapped up to his, filled with an interesting combination of disgust, fear, anger, and…the last emotion was gone before he could figure it out. One manicured hand clenched around the proof on the desk as though trying to crumple it up and make it disappear from existence. "Where."

Another cheeky grin. "I got copies, you know. You can destroy those if you want." Which he had no doubt she'd do. "I happened to have a camera and…" he shrugged as if to say she knew the rest as well as he did. "I got lucky."

"Inuzuka, you're walking a fine line…" that's if he wasn't already in shark pit. If she had her druthers at the moment, he'd be six feet under. An already bad day was taking a swift nosedive, faster than a bombing hawk.

"Hey, I don't want anything." He started backing towards the door, always keeping an eye on her torso. First sign of movement. "Just wanted you to know I have them." Then he was gone, leaving Tsunade to stop bracing her hands on the desk to keep her body upright and crumple onto the hard surface, face resting against the evidence. There was no way to deny it had happened now. She had no doubt the Inuzuka really did have copies squirrelled away. _Wonderful_.

A stupid costume party, and a costume she had gotten on a whim. Well, not really a whim, but it had been the only one that remotely peaked her interest, and it was so far out of her normal attire…who would have known it would have _that_ effect? By the end of the night, she couldn't wait to get out of the damned thing, burn it, burn the ashes, dissolve them in water, and throw the water in the sea. No, that wasn't overkill.

She closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see _that_ looking right back at her. She'd burn the pictures. That would make her feel better. Yeah. Nobody but that damned Inuzuka would have to know about them, and she could go on with her life as though it had never happened. Yeah. Jiraiya was too out of it to remember anything, and Naruto had disappeared…somewhere, as had Shizune and Sakura – Shizune being mostly supported by the pinkette – and everyone else was too afraid of her to even bring the event up again, after the wall she had smashed into bits. Yeah. It never happened…yeah. Right.

Her head lifted slightly off the desk, a picture sticking to it, and hit the wood again with a resounding thump. Things couldn't get any worse, right?


	280. Revenge is Sweet

So you finally get to hear what Tsunade's costume was. Thanks to Addster and Kaiser969 for their ideas!

My brain eloped with my sanity to escape the next two weeks, so I am without either XD

* * *

Revenge is Sweet

Tsunade looked at the street again, trying to keep the movement furtive, then kicked herself mentally. There was no reason to be scared or paranoid, no reason at all. She hadn't done anything wrong, Shizune wasn't hunting for her head, and she was just going to sit here and enjoy a nice plate of –

"Hey Tsunade-sama!" Kiba slid into the booth across from her, and Tsunade remembered exactly why she was paranoid. That manila enveloped clutched in the Inuzuka's hand seemed to taunt her with its presence, an everlasting reminder…

The brunette seemed to sense where her eyes were drawn to and he grinned. "Oh, you want to see them?" He made as though to unfasten the envelope and immediately her hand shot out, slamming down onto the flap with an audible smack that drew eyes from around the restaurant.

She smiled weakly, then glared at the boy and hissed, "Keep them away you little brat. Or even better, burn them."

"Sorry, no can do." Indolently, Kiba leaned back in the booth. He wasn't foolish enough to try to get anything out of the woman for his evidence, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy holding a little power over her. Draping the arm holding the envelope – which he slid out from under her hand – across the back of the bench, he watched at her golden eyes followed it's movement. "You see, that would make it like that night never existed, but we all know it did."

"Then the knowledge should be good enough. Give me those."

She made a swipe and he made a quick exit, leaving her to stare moodily down at the food she was _going_ to enjoy, and most of the patrons of the restaurant staring at her before writing it off as a quirk of the Hokage and going back to their own meals.

It wasn't her fault, it really wasn't! Naruto had been dragging her from shop to shop – as well as gaining a few bruises from her fists – and there wasn't a single way she was going to put on anything pink and fluffy and frilly like he wanted. Hell, he was a _cockroach!_ He didn't get any say in costumes just because of that.

There weren't a lot of costume shops in Konoha either, and the few that were catered mostly to civilians, because what need did shinobi have of costumes? They managed strange enough just on a daily basis. So after the fifth shop where she had terrified most of the staff unused to dealing with an irritated Hokage out of their own shops, they had gone to that one last shop.

A princess shop.

She still shuddered at the memory of all pink, and how Naruto had seemed overenthusiastic in that brown hard-shelled costume of his, so out of place in the store. There was no way she was buying from there, until she spotted a _non-_dress costume in a corner. Well, she wanted the sake, so she'd play to the piper's fiddle this far.

The terrified shop owner had thrown it in a bag, taken the ryou notes she shoved at him, and stood against the wall as she stormed out of the store. Only when they were a few blocks away did she actually take a look at what she had purchased, and when she did, all the blood drained out of her face.

No, no way. She did _not_ get that. How did the man even have it? She remembered its first – and only – owner, and how proud he had been. Oh god. She seriously considered just turning around, incinerating the bag, and forgetting all about the stupid party, but the lure of free sake was too strong. She'd wear the damn thing, then make sure every single one of them swore to never, ever bring it up again.

Yeah, that worked well obviously.

Of course _he_ had recognized it right off the bat, and the moment he had picked his jaw up off the floor, the other Sannin was running around the room, yelling about how Tsunade was wearing _his_ costume. A well timed punch had shut him up – and crumbled the wall – but the damage was done. The horrid toad suit she was wearing was forever emblazoned in the minds of every single person at that party.

And Kiba just _had_ to have a camera to take pictures with. She should have snatched it from him then and there, but she hadn't noticed until it was too late and he was out the door.

Her head hit the table just to the right of her meal and she closed her eyes, trying to forget about the whole thing.

* * *

Tsunade stood on top of her grandfather's head, considering the distance to the ground below. If she jumped without chakra, what was the likelihood she would get amnesia and could claim deniability that the party ever happened? She could pass it off as an imposter or something. But her medical mind calculated the likelihood, came up with an answer, found it to be not satisfactory, and began again. What if she jumped _out _and down…?

"Tsunade-sama!"

She swore Kiba must be tracking her, because he had showed up _everywhere_ she went that day, reminding her of the pictures. He was getting far too much satisfaction from it, and it was time to put a stop. She waited until he got just close enough, then her left hand whipped out and grabbed his collar, her right tore the envelope from his grasp, and the boy was flying out, out…out…and down towards the village below.

Revenge was sweet. She didn't bother to watch where or how he landed, instead putting the envelope down on the stone beneath her feet and initiating a simple Katon jutsu. The ball of fire gave a satisfying glow as it consumed paper and pictures inside.

* * *

The next day Kiba limped into the office, nursing a fractured leg. Of course, neither bothered to tell anyone how he had received it. "So, Inuzuka…" Tsunade steepled her hands together, feeling like that cat that had swallowed the canary. "I heard you're on light missions only for the next four months."

The hunted look in his eyes gave her satisfaction, and his curt nod only fueled it.

"I have the perfect thing for you." She rummaged under the papers on her desk, pulling out a scroll emblazoned with the Fire Daimyou's seal. "It seems Tora has escaped again, and Shijimi-sama has requested a shinobi to be on twenty four seven call should he continue to try." Her smile widened. "Congratulations on your mission."

Next to Kiba, Akamaru raised his voice in a mournful howl that could be heard throughout the village.


	281. Projection

I am fully aware of the trippy-ness (and probably not-so-good-ness) of this one too, although it did spark an idea I'll work on later. Blame my eyes scanning around and landing on Anne McCaffrey's The Rowan when I was trying to think of ideas.

* * *

Projection

Tsunade sighed to herself, relaxing in a well-earned hot tub at the springs. A good soak did wonders for getting the stress of a long day of work out of the muscles and bones, and she knew for a fact Jiraiya was nowhere in the vicinity, so she didn't have to maintain her normal peeper watch.

However, that knowledge didn't keep her from feeling that slight tingle that told her there was a pair of eyes trained on her. Instinct trained over long years, if nothing else. "Whoever is there, you'll go away if you know what's best for you," the blonde called out, keeping her eyes closed and body relaxed even as all senses went on alert, trying to identify where the watcher was. Not a leaf rustled, and she couldn't even hear the sound of breathing.

The tingling faded, and Tsunade slowly began to relax, writing the sensation off as her imagination. That is, until it returned in full force again, accompanied by that same sensation of someone nearby. She didn't speak, instead focusing senses made keen by years of battle, but she still couldn't find even a hint of human presence nearby. Could it be animal? No, there weren't any animal sounds either, just the murmur of water over rocks.

Then a whisper of something, not physical, but mental, brushing against her mind. Tsunade started bolt upright, eyes snapping open, and the mental brush got stronger, until words not her own were projected into her mind.

_Nice view, hime._

"Jiraiya?" Her head whipped around, searching for any trace or sign of the white haired man and finding nothing. Nobody in the trees, behind the fence, at the edge of the pool. "Where the hell are you?"

A light chuckle filled her mind, a very odd experience to hear his voice projected to her brain instead of her ears. _Safe and far away from you, hime. But that doesn't keep me from seeing you…_

Okay, now that was just plain creepy. "Stop being a damn pervert, Jiraiya!" she shouted, no doubt startling whoever was in the next bath over. "Get your…whatever they are, invisible eyes, out of here!"

_I'm hurt that's all you think I'd do,_ and he truly did sound injured. _Think of it like sensei's crystal ball, always looking out for you, except I can talk too. _Suddenly a mental image of Jiraiya smirking was in her head. Most disconcerting. _But I promise I won't annoy you too much._

"I…you…what…" she was at a loss for words. From all indications, the contact was telepathic. Yes, it was technically possible for such contact to exist, through mind invasion and a special jutsu of the Naras, but for Jiraiya to be able to do it? And project _images_? No. It shouldn't be…_wasn't_…possible.

_You don't have to talk out loud you know, I hear what you think in your head,_ his voice came again, matter of fact. _And if you keep letting your mouth gape some enterprising fly will decide it makes a nice new home._ The Sannin's jaw shot up with a nearly audible clack and her eyes roamed around, desperate for something to fix on as _Jiraiya_.

_Well, if you really need it…_ and suddenly he was standing in front of her, except she could see the wooden fence behind – and through him – and his clothing was immaculate…and he was glowing slightly.

"What's up with the glow?" she asked dryly, the sentence being one of the only she could formulate. Honestly, the whole experience was too strange for words.

_Beats me, _he shrugged, examining his hands. Even though she could see his mouth move, the voice was still only in her head.

"Would you stop that?"

_Stop what?_ The white haired man grinned at her, and she could see a knot in the wood right through his smile. Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose and squeezed her eyes shut.

"It's only a bad dream, it's only a bad dream…I'll wake up to Tonton on the bed, Shizune with a stack of paperwork, and…"

_You do realize you're still in the spring, right? _Jiraiya's baritone laugh broke through her mantra and startled her.

"Pervert!" Tsunade splashed a wave of water at him, only for the liquid to fall right through his legs. "This is useless." She pinned him with a stern golden glare. "You are going to disappear. You are going to stop watching me. I am going to get out of here. If I feel you watching you won't live to see Naruto turn seventeen, understand?"

As usual, he didn't seem cowed at all, but nodded and disappeared in a flash of light. Tsunade rolled her eyes and waited a minute to be sure he had followed through before getting out of the water. "No good, lousy, inventive, confusing…" she muttered under her breath, stuffing one leg then the other into her pants, slipping her top on and belting it, and donning her jacket. "Always making life complicated."

_It's what I do best,_ his voice sounded in her head. _Would you love me otherwise?_

"I don't love you, you self-centered idiot!" she yelled, glaring around indiscriminately as her fists clenched tight enough to turn white.

_Your mouth says one thing but your brain says another…_and with that, his presence faded away, and this time didn't return.

"Get back here you coward! Don't you dare walk away!" Her threats sounded to the empty air around her where she stood alone in the hot springs house. Alone.


	282. What If

So this is my 'What if?' idea. What if the summons of the Sannin were switched around? Jiraiya got Snakes, Tsunade Toads, and Orochimaru Slugs. Would they have changed? Freewolf17 and Kaiser969 were instrumental in the development of this.

* * *

What If

"Sensei, this is really stupid!" Anko whined again as she trailed behind Jiraiya, tugging ineffectually at the strong material enclosing her body. "Why do I have to wear it?"

In front of her, the white haired man didn't even look back but instead rolled his eyes. "I told you, you'll see when we get there. But if you take it off now I'll make you summon Manda and explain to him exactly why you don't the promised meat." The promised threat made Anko shut her mouth tight, but it didn't stop her from trying to glare daggers in her sensei's back.

He could hear his teammates long before he reached their normal clearing, arguing once again of the same issue – Orochimaru's penchant for make-up.

"I'm telling you, it's a girl thing!" Tsunade was shouting, arms moving wildly as she made her point. One finger leveled at the man's face while the other pointed at the small slug sitting in his lap. "And you can't pass it off as part of having slugs, or I would be covered in warts!"

"Who's to say you are not?"

Tsunade's scream of rage was audible from Konoha itself, he was sure, and up close the white haired man was sure his eardrums had trembled from the force. With great effort, she reigned in her temper and glowered at the man sitting cross legged in front of her. "That purple eyeliner is _not_ normal, pretty boy! I don't care what you say, _you'll never convince me_!" With that she stomped off and away to her own clearing to train as Jiraiya and Anko entered the area.

The nine year old girl looked after Tsunade, interested in her flashes of temper as long as they weren't directed towards herself while Jiraiya snickered at his teammate. "Are you ever going to stop wearing that stuff?"

Orochimaru blinked slowly up at the snake summoner, revealing yet more purple coating both eyelids. "Why?"

"Because then she'll stop annoying you, duh."

"I see no reason to change myself just because Tsunade cannot accept eyeliner is not restricted to girls."

Jiraiya rolled his eyes. "Whatever, it's your headache. Anko, come over here and we'll leave 'pretty boy' to his meditation." With a chuckle he didn't bother to bite back he left the clearing, ignoring Orochimaru's gusty sigh as the raven closed his eyes and again focused his attention inwards. He was saddled with such troublesome and annoying teammates.

Tsunade sat cross legged as well, two small toads sitting on either side of her with their eyes fixed on her, reading the pattern of her chakra. They remained silent as she concentrated, molding the chakra within her body with a precision born of genetics and long practice. Finally, she opened her eyes to reveal golden pupils with horizontal irises, surrounded by a slightly red shading.

"You are entering sennin mode well," 'Ma' croaked from her right, and 'Pa' nodded as well. "Soon you will be able to enter and maintain it in battle."

"For now, split that rock in half." Pa gestured to a large boulder about ten meters away from Tsunade, twice as tall as she was. "Use the sage chakra."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes, focusing the new chakra she had molded within herself towards her fist and in a second was off the ground and shooting forward. Upon contact, a crack shot up the center of the rock, then branched out into tendrils that shattered the stone into tiny fragments.

"Good," Ma called from where she was sitting, but Tsunade didn't turn around.

"That felt…oddly familiar." The blonde stared at her fist, perplexed. "As though…" she shook her head, trying to rid her mind of the feeling. There was no way she had enacted such a move before.

On the other side of Orochimaru's clearing, Jiraiya was lying on the ground, 'slithering' like a snake…or so he proclaimed. To Anko, it more looked as though he was trying to see how much dirt he could grind into his clothing without moving his arms or legs from his sides. "Like this," he said again, demonstrated a wiggle that reminded the girl more of a landed fish than a snake. "Before you can summon your creature, you must become one with its movements."

Anko stared in abject horror at Jiraiya where he lay, then shook her head vigorously. "No way am I doing that, you're crazy!"

"If you don't, I'll have you summon Manda – "

"You can summon Manda yourself! There's no way I'm lying on the ground and flopping around like a fish!"

"You'll do what I say! You're my apprentice!"

"I don't care!"

Orochimaru twitched as he heard the strains of both forms of training from his position in the middle. Normally he could ignore them and focus solely on the application of his medical techniques, but this time they were being abnormally loud.

A loud crash followed by inventive cursing had him twitching again. "Would you keep it down?" he roared, not bothering to open his eyes.

Dead silence for a moment as both his teammates realized he had shouted, then Tsunade shot back "Nobody cares, make up boy! Go find a mirror or something!"

He didn't deign to respond, instead growling to himself and trying to sink deeper into his meditation.

* * *

A few miles away in the Hokage Tower, Sarutobi Hiruzen watched his team 'train' with a resigned expression. Honestly, how was it that three completely different and clashing personalities had worked together to defeat Hanzou of Ame? It was something that would always mystify him.

As Tsunade pulled out a powder compact and chucked it at Orochimaru with a cutting remark and Jiraiya wriggled on the forest floor, the Hokage's head hit the desk in front of him with a thump.

It was forever a mystery how they had grown up at all.


	283. Workaholic

Idea submitted by an anonymous reviewer, I hope it suits!

* * *

Workaholic

Minato looked down at his sleeping wife and newborn son one last time, brushing tan fingers over Kushina's cheek. He hated leaving them already, but a part of him longed to get back to work being the Hokage of the village. He missed the position and even the paperwork that came with it with an intensity that surprised him for all the grief it had caused him over the past couple years.

It was maybe five in the morning and he didn't want to wake either the boy or his mother up – lest he be delayed for another six or seven hours – and so slipped quietly out of the room, newly made sleeveless cape gliding as softly as his shadow. When he left his residence the streets were still shrouded in that same darkness, littered with pieces of debris and stonework that had been thrown about by the force of nature sweeping through their village.

And yet it still stood, a testament to the will of all the courageous shinobi of Konoha.

With the ease of long training in perception, the Yondaime Hokage skirted those remnants of houses and walls, making is way to his place of work. The building was still dark as it normally was when he arrived, as though nothing had changed. The doors were still unlocked and he waltzed in, passing by the secretary's desk and the hallway leading off to the T&I suite of offices.

The blond began humming to himself as he took the stairs two at a time, wondering what work had ended up on his desk after the attack. Surely at least a few dozen materials forms, some business licenses, and who knew what else. He couldn't wait to just immerse himself in his work for a few hours, maybe seven or eight, then go home to his wife and son. A good day it would be.

He pushed open one of the large wooden doors to his office and smiled at the clean room. Nothing out of place. Sarutobi must have come by and picked it up after he spent a frantic night searching every scroll he could find for some way to bind the Kyuubi. The retired Hokage was that kind of considerate man. His chair was turned with its back towards the door as though looking out over the village, just waiting for him to sit down. Well, he would oblige.

Minato crossed the room, anticipating the moment he sat down in the chair again. He reached out a hand, placing it on the leather back to spin the chair around, but it wouldn't move. Frowning, he tried harder…

"I knew you would be here."

Later, Minato was honestly sure he had leapt about three feet in the air and at least six feet back. Sarutobi would have it at four and ten, and told the story over and over again about how he had scared the most observant shinobi in Konoha out of his skin. The muffled _yelp_, not scream, didn't help the Yondaime's case either.

"What are you doing here?" Minato hissed the moment he was sure he could talk without squeaking, glaring with wide eyes at the old man sitting in _his _chair, long gnarled fingers steepled and leaning against his chest. The old man was even decked out in his robes, _hat and all_. His hat. Not the Sandaime's. His hat.

"I knew you would be here," Sarutobi repeated again, calmly. "It is in your nature to want to help others before you help yourself."

"What does that have to do with why you're sitting in my chair?" More than a little peeved, Minato crossed his arms and widened his stance slightly, trying to look like the imposing Hokage he was.

It worked until Sarutobi quirked an eyebrow and asked "Was Kushina-chan's aim that good?"

"…What?"

"Nothing, nothing…" Sarutobi waved a hand as though to dismiss the matter, a small knowing smile on his lips. "The fact remains you are here instead of at home with Kushina-chan and Naruto-kun. Why?"

The question flummoxed Minato. "It's my job as Hokage to do my duty to the people," he answered automatically, meeting Sarutobi's level gaze with his own blue one. "I'm their leader."

"Under normal circumstance, that would be true," Sarutobi acknowledged, making no move to get up from Minato's chair. "But these are hardly normal circumstances. You have a newborn son and a wife to tend to, and while the village requires attention from a leader, you are not the only Hokage in Konoha."

"But…" Minato shot a startled glance at the old man. "You retired because you didn't want to deal with the position anymore."

"And I am still retired." Those steepled fingers tilted outward until two index fingers pointed at the blond. "I am merely relieving my successor of his duties for a few days." As Minato opened his mouth to argue, Sarutobi narrowed his eyes almost imperceptibly and the Yondaime's mouth snapped closed. "This is not a choice."

He knew a lost battle when he saw one, but he still had to try. "I should at least…"

"Minato, you will go home now, or I will leave you to explain to Kushina why exactly you thought a day of 'research' with Jiraiya was more important than spending time with her and Naruto-kun."

"But sensei isn't here!"

A small smirk that looked out of place on the genial old man's face. "She doesn't know that."

Grumbling under his breath, Minato turned around until he was sure he had control of his emotions. "Very well. When am I allowed to return?"

Sarutobi smiled again, like the cat who had caught the canary. "I believe in three weeks will be sufficient, and shall give me enough time to remember why I wished to retire initially." He paused, then regarded Minato with a raised eyebrow. "You're still here?"

As Minato descended the steps, he began to feel a spark of joy burning away the ire. He was responsibility free for three whole weeks. Three joyful weeks he could spend with his wife and son. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all…

And he could always sneak in a little paperwork when they were both asleep. He still did have his pride.


	284. Trick or Treat

A Halloween drabble was Addsters idea, and a wonderful idea it was! I hope I did it justice =) I decided to do it the 30th (techinically) because most people will be reading it the 31st anyway XD

A few points - I hold no grudge against Whoppers, they are in fact my favorite candy.

Two, yes, Tsunade can fly. Because I say so. And she's just that awesome.

* * *

Trick or Treat

Naruto, aged twenty five, yanked on Tsunade's broomstick again. "Aw c'mon baa-chan, it'll be fun!"

As the blonde's broom again dipped, it's flight disrupted, she turned on the wooden handle to glare at the petulant man. "What did I tell you about touching the broom!"

"If I pull on it you'll fall," he repeated dutifully, more like a five year old child than the man who had become Hokage of their village. He looked the part too, in a golden-red fox costume, whiskers and all on either side of his face and soft ears on top of his head that had already had girls assaulting him to touch. Hence why he was standing next to Tsunade, because she cackled at anyone who came too close and threw – he wasn't quite sure he wanted to know what was in those balloons she had, but it wasn't pleasant – at the interlopers.

"That's right, and if I fall I'll make sure to get you with everything I've got," she told him ruthlessly. "Besides, I'm scouting."

"Scouting?" Those ears seemed to prick up and the 'fox' edged closer to the 'witch'. "Scouting what?"

She sent him a condescending look. "Candy of course. That way I know who to trade with later." A glazed look came into the woman's eyes and she almost drooled. "Kit Kat bars…" Naruto's snort drew her out of the daze. "What, gaki?"

"Trade? You're actually going to trade for that?" A smirk that could only be attributed to a prankster graced his face. "Please. Why steal when you can…acquire?"

She cocked a thin eyebrow at the man next to and slightly below her. "Acquire?"

"Well yeah." Rolling his eyes as though it was obvious, Naruto leaned back against the wall behind them and elaborated. "All you gotta do is…relieve them of the candy." He waved a tanned hand at the masses of people circulating the room, each with a basket or bag of candy. "It's not like they'd notice the difference, yeah? Besides," his grin turned wicked, "it is Halloween, and things have a habit of mysteriously disappearing on Halloween."

A matching light sprang into Tsunade's golden eyes. "Sure, why…"

"I hope you two weren't thinking about embarking on such an adventure without me."

Tsunade's broom whipped around on a pinpoint turn, her hand already outstretched to throw a foul smelling balloon at the interloper – a dolphin. Tobirama's white hair stood out distinctively from the deeper blue of his costume as he sent a jaunty wave at the two would be plotters.

"Uncle!" Tsunade narrowed her eyes at the Nidaime Hokage. "Tell me why I shouldn't make you smell like last week's trash." She hefted her hand demonstratively, even as she steadied her broom as it quivered under her.

"Because I hate Kit Kats and want their Butterfingers."

"Done."

"Hold up, hold up," Naruto interjected, hands raised. "What about my Whoppers?"

Both Senjus pinned him with a disbelieving stare. "You actually _like_ those things?"

He sent the same stare back. "You _don't_?"

"Yeah, you're welcome to them," Tobirama broke the stare-off, holding out a hand palm down to his two co-conspirators. "Break?"

Two more hands landed on top of his. "Break."

* * *

One hour of successful pilfering later, the three Hokages crouched in a small room giggling gleefully at their spoils. Around them lay empty and upended bags and baskets, candy spilling all around the room in a ring.

"The suckers didn't even notice!" Tsunade crowed, pulling yet another five red packaged candy bars from the mess. She already had a hefty pile of Kit Kats growing in front of her, but one could never have enough of the chocolate coated wafers. Similarly, she tossed all tan packages at Naruto, trying to get the disgusting Whoppers as far away from her precious as possible.

Tobirama was systematically moving around the room, pulling out all yellow wrappers and making sure they were Butterfingers, then sticking them in an empty bag he had picked up from the floor. He snickered, reaching down to pull another two peanut butter chocolate goodnesses out of the pile. "It's their loss for not being able to tell the difference between a bag of candy and a bag of gravel."

Tsunade picked up a Kit Kat, eyeing the perfect wrapper for a second before ripping it open to expose the candy inside. "And now we enjoy our just rewards." She took a huge bite of the chocolate, humming in delight. "Perfect, just…"

"Abominable," finished a man's voice from the doorway. Naruto spun around from his Whoppers pile, Tsunade's eyes shot open from their chocolate bliss, and Tobirama looked like the child with his hand caught in the proverbial – and literal – candy jar. "I can't believe you three would stoop so low."

Hashirama stood in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed and fingers tapping, flanked by Mito and Hiruzen. A disapproving scowl laced his features as he looked at the younger two of the group. "I can understand Naruto being tempted, and even Tsunade to a point, but you, Tobirama? You should know better."

His brother gave a sheepish shrug. "What can I say? I'm addicted to sugar." He began backing up towards the wall behind him where a window was ajar. "And now I say…adieu." Then he was out the window in a flash, bag of candy trailing behind him.

"Mito?" Hashirama sent a wry look sideways to his wife.

"It would be my pleasure." She disappeared in a flash of red, leaving the Shodaime and Sandaime alone with the Godaime and Rokudaime.

"You two would do better to give up now." Tsunade paused in her scooping of her beloved candy into a bag and stared up with doe eyes at her grandfather.

"But ojii-sama, I was so hungry…" she tried, hoping against hope he would be unable to resist her just as he had all those years ago. It seemed to be working too, until her sensei let out a snort.

"The time Tsunade refrains from stealing candy will be the day Jiraiya stops hitting on her."

The blonde shot a dark glare at Sarutobi as Hashirama shook off whatever grandfather-ly thrall had overcome him. "Tsunade. The candy. Now." He held out his hand, just as he had when she was five and had taken the family candy jar.

"But…"

"Now. You too, Naruto."

"Why me?" The boy let out his most pitiful whine, also edging backwards. The pile of Whoppers in front of him had vanished, although a telltale bulge along his waistline betrayed their location. "I…" he made to escape out the window too, only to be intercepted by Mito as she climbed in the large portal, a protesting Tobirama being dragged by his dorsal fin.

"Mito, lay off! You're supposed to be my sister-in-law!"

"Then it's my duty to relieve you of your candy," she retorted, knocking Naruto away from the window again as he tried to climb out. "Hashirama, if you would do the honors?"

"With pleasure." Branches snaked out of the wooden walls, twining around Naruto where he stood at the window, Tobirama in Mito's grasp and pulling him against the wall, and chaining Tsunade to the floor where she sat, clutching at her pile of Kit Kats. Then more branches grew and swept the candy into a huge pile in the middle of the room, out of reach of all three conspirators.

"If children are naughty," Hashirama began, stepping into the room and making his way for the candy with a gleam in his eye.

"They must be taught the error of their ways," Mito continued the sentence, also stepping towards the candy and sitting gracefully on the floor next to her husband.

"Through example." Sarutobi finished, joining the founder of the village and the Kyuubi's first container in front of the candy and reaching for a Butterfingers. With a wicked look at his sensei – accompanied by a whimper escaping Tobirama's mouth as he took in the candy – the Sandaime split open the wrapper and took a bite out of the sugary treat inside. "Delicious."

Simultaneously, Mito and Hashirama procured a Kit Kat and a Whoppers and followed the younger man's example, popping the chocolate into their mouths to the dismay of the three captured Hokages.

"Now, I don't believe any of this fine candy should go to waste, should it?" Hashirama asked the two adults sitting next to him conversationally, ignoring the way Tobirama fought to get himself free of his bonds and save his precious candy. "And these" he held up the yellow package, "should be the first to go."

"Most assuredly," Mito confirmed, a small cackle escaping. "After all, we must remove temptation."

Ignoring the whimpers, whines, and pleading of the three captives, the 'candy rescuers' set into their task with a gusto.

It was a good Halloween.


	285. Cookie Confrontation

An idea Addster cooked up, quite fun! Hope it suits =)

* * *

Cookie Confrontation

Tobirama grumbled to himself again as he stalked towards the large house set in imposing walls. There was no way he was going to let this happen. His brother deserved better! Hashirama was too nice of a man to see what was right in front of his eyes, and since he couldn't see it, the job fell to Tobirama as the younger brother to protect Hashirama.

He pushed open the wooden gate and stomped up the drive, fists clenched tightly at his sides. The woman would be able to pull the wool over _his _eyes. He'd see her for what she was, a powerful woman from the Uzumaki who would no doubt be able to walk all over his brother and push the new Hokage around. Well, he wouldn't sit by and let it happen!

The front door was open and a truly enticing smell was floating out, but he refused to be distracted. He had a few things to set straight, and eating that…scrumptious smelling…concoction…could wait until later! Yeah! His stomach didn't _need_ it…

No doubt the housekeeper Hashirama had assigned to the house was slaving away, trying to create something good enough for the _lady_. Well, he would fix that too while he was here, they were all starting anew, and nobody was…the white haired man stopped short as he entered the kitchen.

A woman with long red hair stood in front of the stove, her back to him, pulling a baking sheet out of the oven with a truly delightful looking array of cookies on it. Another tray of pastries was cooling next to the stove on the counter, and the icing dripping off of them made his mouth water.

The Senju snapped his mouth shut, remembering his mission with difficulty, and steeled himself to ask the woman with the keys to his heart and stomach in her hands where to find Uzumaki Mito.

Just then she turned around, still holding the warm tray of cookies in her mitted hands, and smiled at him as though she had known he was there all along. "Can I help you?"

His eyes were drawn to the cookies, shaped like shuriken and kunai and hitai-ate. She certainly had an interesting concept of good cookie cut-outs. Obviously for a housekeeper the woman had a strong shinobi background.

"Can I help you?" She repeated the question again, tolerantly, drawing Tobirama's eyes away from the cookies finally and up to her face.

"Uh, yeah…I…" he paused, trying to gather his thoughts from his stomach to his brain, but his eyes were drawn down again. _Cookies_.

The woman rolled her eyes. "Have a seat." She pointed authoritatively to a chair at the table a bit away from the stove, and without a second thought Tobirama sat. There was an air of…rightness…around her, that _made _a man want to follow her orders. Or maybe it was her baking.

"I was wondering if you knew where I could find Uzumaki Mito." Now that he wasn't in the direct line of sight of the sweets it was easier to think, although the smells were certainly distracting. "I need to…"

"Eat." A plate of pastries and cookies was plunked down in front of him by the red-haired woman and she sent him a sharp glare. "Then talk."

"But…"

"Eat."

Well, he didn't need telling twice. Tobirama dug into the mound of sugar in front of him, demolishing the plate in record time. While he did so the woman cleaned up her work area, then placed a few cookies on a plate for herself and sat across from him at the table. As he scarfed, she nibbled.

Every time he tried to start up a conversation as to where Uzumaki Mito was – in between bites – she deflected with an inane comment about the kitchen, cooking, and even different flavorings. Not that he was inclined to push hard on the topic until he had finished.

When Tobirama sat back with a sigh, plate clean but for crumbs in front of him, he pinned the woman with an inquiring gaze. "Is she really that bad?"

"Who?" the baker asked back, smiling as though at a secret joke he didn't understand.

"Uzumaki Mito. Is she really that bad that you won't talk about her?"

"Oh, she's not bad at all," the red-head responded, breaking off another corner of cookie and popping it into her mouth. "In fact, she's positively delightful, and doesn't intrude."

He sent her a look of pure skepticism. "Then why won't you tell me where she is?"

"Did you know this is a recipe from Whirlpool Country?" She deflected again, changing the topic so deftly he couldn't find a way to politely call her on it. "The woman you seek is one of very few who know it."

"That's very nice but…" he was growing impatient and tried to speak over her, only to be cut off again.

"It requires patience and exactness, as well as a little cajoling for all the elements to mix just right." She had a far off look in her eyes as though remembering a time she had created it before. Then those eyes sharped on the Senju until he was sure she could see right through him. "As does everything."

Well, that hint was hard to miss. "Look, I'm just looking for Uzumaki Mito! I only want to talk with her!"

"And that is all?"

Well, if she was anything like the housekeeper, he'd probably beg her for cookies then get out of her presence as soon as possible, but yeah, htat was all. The cookies had sweetened his mood until he was sure he could _probably_ talk to her without getting too defensive. And maybe he could convince his brother that this housekeeper from Whirlpool – obvious from her hair color – was a much better match then Mito. "Yeah."

"Then congratulations." Again the woman's mouth twisted into a smile at a secret joke. "You have found her."

"Where?" His head twisted in all directions, searching for another woman in the kitchen, until her hand slammed down on the table with a sharp slap. "…Oh."

"Senju Tobirama…" she sighed, looking the white haired man over with an observant eye. "You are…like a child."

Whatever he had expected her to say, it certainly wasn't that. And anyways, what was Uzumaki Mito, highest ranked woman in all of Whirlpool, doing _baking_ of all things? And looking like…well, like a housekeeper? It blew his mind. She wasn't anything like what he had pictured. Besides, as a man, he should take offense to that statement. "What do you mean a child?"

She sent him a knowing look, both eyebrows raised. "Easily distracted from your purpose by sweets, overly protective of those who don't need it. I am not here to rule over your brother." Damn, she was perceptive. "Neither am I here to bake for you." Damn again, he wouldn't mind more of those cookies. "I am going to be living here, and therefore would like to be treated as a sister."

"Does that mean you'll bake anyway?"

A sigh. "I will bake because I enjoy it, but yes, I will bake."

Tobirama stood up from the table, extending a hand to the redhead with a cheerful boyish grin. "In that case, welcome to the family!"


	286. Brother's Perogative

Addster's idea, since Tobirama is so much like a child, how much can he torture his brother by playing with his grand-niece? The blowing on the baby until she wakes up then hightailing it out of there was something my friend's aunt actually used to do to her. Just saying. ;)

* * *

Brother's Perogative

Tobirama peeked into the dark room his brother had just left, barely making out the silhouette of the crib against the wall. The baby had just been laid down for a nap, but he wanted to play _now_! And maybe…maybe she wasn't sleeping. Right? She was a baby, sure they slept maybe twenty hours of the day, but she had been sleeping all day already. Yeah. She wanted to play!

With that thought in mind the white haired man tiptoed into the dim room, barely lit by the light filtering in behind the blinds. His grand-niece was just a light-colored bump under a pale blanket, blonde hair forming a halo on her head. Her tiny fists were clenched, one lying near her face and the other resting on her stomach.

"Tsunade-chan," he whispered quietly, glancing at the door to make sure Hashirama didn't suddenly enter to demand exactly _why_ he was disturbing the baby. "Tsunade-chan…" The girl's eyelids flickered as though she heard the call, but the rest of her small body didn't even twitch.

Aw, come on. Now wasn't the time for sleeping! And anyway, he had to make sure she was fine, so Tobirama resorted to Plan B. Blow on the baby. He did just that, wafting ghostly breaths overtop Tsunade's face, watching as those eyelids flickered again and her eyebrows scrunched up in a frown that smoothed away the moment he stopped.

So again he blew, five puffs this time all across her forehead and eyes, making sure to aim away from her nose and mouth. Her hand came up as though to try and brush whatever irritant it was away, then her mouth opened in protest.

"Waa~aaa…" the cry started off feebly, then as he blew one more time for good measure, grew in volume. "Waa~aah!"

Well, she was certainly awake now, golden brown eyes open for a moment then scrunched shut to be lost in a face that was quickly turning scrunched and red in distress. It seemed she didn't want to play after all, and besides, she was Hashirama's responsibility! Just the thought of what his brother would do to him if he found the white haired man in the room with the baby was enough to have Tobirama hightailing it out of there.

As he tore down the hallway, passing a beleaguered looking Hashirama on his way towards the room, the younger brother chirped out "The baby's awake!" and sped on his way.

The dirty look Hashirama sent in his wake only spurred him on to faster speeds as Tsunade's wail echoed through the house.

* * *

Tobirama bounced his six month old niece on his knee, hands under her armpits to support her as she moved up and down, and up and down, giggling the whole time. One hand reached out, trying to grasp the face guards of his hitai-ate as she moved, but missed as her baby coordination couldn't account for the constant movement.

"Oh, do you like them?" Tobirama asked his grand-niece conversationally, lifting her off his knee and bringing the toddler closer to his face where she reached for the shiny metal again. A giggle and a happy smile was his answer. "Well do you know what happens to little girls who like shiny things?" He paused for dramatic effect, even though he knew she couldn't answer. "They get tickled!"

He placed the blonde girl down on the pillow in front of him and moved his fingers to her sides, prodding lightly and eliciting high pitched squeals from the baby. Her feet came up and he took advantage of the position, attacking her soles and heels as often as her sides and stomach until she was wiggling constantly on the pillow, giggling the whole time.

"How do you like that? And that!" He struck again and again, occasionally moving one hand up to lightly tap her on the nose or forehead as a distraction before renewing the barrage. "Or this! And…"

"Tobirama!" Hashirama's harried voice froze the younger Senju brother in his actions, one hand on Tsunade's stomach and another at her feet. "What did I tell you thirty minutes ago?"

Somehow the white haired brother managed to feel like a child all over again, one who had been caught up to some mischief and needed a way to get out of it. "To play with Tsunade?" he grinned hopefully, praying Hashirama forgot the rest of what he had said.

No such luck. "And that it was Tsunade's nap time over twenty minutes ago! You were supposed to get her ready and put her down for a nap." Hashirama's dark eyebrows drew together as he took in the state of his granddaughter.

Tobirama smiled winningly. "And I did, look! She's all ready for bed." The blonde girl was pouting, upset the fingers had stopped, and tugged at Tobirama's finger, trying to guide it to her mouth. "And…would you look at the time! I'm late for a meeting!" He glanced exaggeratedly at the clock on the wall behind his brother. "Sorry, you have to deal with her now!"

Scooping the baby up off the cushion he thrust her at his brother and began to leave the room, suppressing chuckles. Behind him, he heard Hashirama's exasperated sigh. "Why do you keep doing this to me?"

Oh, that was easy. "Brother's prerogative!"


	287. Promptness

This is for Ascaisil, I really hope she likes it! I feel kind of bad for beating up on Shino, but he was so fun to write, all icy and uptight...

* * *

Promptness

Naruto steepled his fingers, looking at the list of his meetings and mission briefs for the day. Three down, far too many left to count. Well, at least the next meeting should be short. Hopefully. "Come in!"

The door was pushed open with dignity and the cloaked man made his stately way into the room, exuding an air of calmness. He was stoic as ever, eyes hidden behind dark glasses and hair covered by his hood even inside.

"Shino! You're here!" the blond exclaimed, leaning back in his – very comfy and appropriated from a storeroom – chair, and lacing both hands behind his head. He swung the padded seat side to side slightly, making his blue eyes seem to shift in his face as they remained focused on the grey figure.

"Of course," the deep voice rumbled out from the depths of the hood. "To be late is to be disrespectful."

"But you're early," Naruto countered, swinging again and causing his slightly long blond hair to brush into his eyes. Cold silence met his remark as Shino seemed to glare out of his hood and Naruto shivered, stopping his chair's motion. "Ah, but we can begin before they arrive."

"To do so would also be disrespectful."

You just couldn't win with Shino, Naruto mused, rolling his eyes and leaning forward to eye some paperwork on his desk once more. The man was perfectly content to let the Hokage do his job while the Aburame stood off to the side quietly, but to actually get any pre-meeting work done without the full members of the advisory committee was out of the question. Contradictions galore. But then again, an Aburame never contradicted himself, each argument was logically and completely thought out. Maybe it didn't make sense at the beginning, but it always had a reason.

Not five minutes passed before the door opened again to let in one noisy man, one quiet man, and a _very_ irritated woman, shaking a fist at the leader. "Kiba! You can't just expect everyone to let it go that easily! You're supposed to be _intelligent_, and house trained! So just –"

Kiba cut her off with a laugh. "Oh lay off, Sakura. It was just a joke and everyone's forgotten but you."

If anything that made it worse and the pinkette looked fully prepared to unleash her full fury on the grinning man – but for a quiet voice that effectively cut through the argument. "You two may continue flirting elsewhere. Now is the time for business."

Sakura blushed beet red and immediately turned her death glare on the man leaning against the wall as Kiba laughed again, and Shikamaru sent him a grateful glance. Naruto just looked confused. "They were flirting?"

"_No! _He was – " This time Sakura was cut off by a shadow covering her mouth, and Shikamaru rolling his eyes.

"Shino is right, you can flirt later, but I want to get back to the clouds," he told her bluntly, ignoring the outrage and promised pain in her emerald eyes. "Will you stop yelling?" A muffled glare didn't release the shadow, and Shikamaru cocked an eyebrow. A reluctant nod answered, and he retracted his shadow until it lay dormant at his feet once again.

"But I want to know what's going on," Naruto whined, leaning forward at his desk. He didn't look at all like the leader of a powerful village so much as he did a twelve year old boy who had just been denied a tasty morsel of gossip. "C'mon, spill!"

Two fearsome gazes, one lazy grin, and a "mendokuse" at the end of a long sigh met his eager countenance. "Well fine then," he leaned back and crossed his arms, sticking out his tongue at all four. "I'll just find out for myself!"

Shino cleared his throat, the sound so rare for an Aburame the others' eyes all snapped to him. "If we may proceed?" he asked, a touch of irritation in his tone, just as rare. "I have other matters I must attend to at the compound."

"Aw, c'mon, lighten up Shino!" Kiba slung an arm around his long-time teammate's shoulders, and received an icy glare in return.

"Remove your arm."

"Hey, I'm just being friendly!"

"Remove your arm before I am forced to remove it for you."

Kiba snorted at that, but dutifully retracted the appendage. "Man, you need to get – "

"If you finish that sentence, I shall ensure you not have use for a week."

"Okay, okay, settle down," Naruto interrupted, waving both hands as though refereeing a match. "We have a meeting to run."

"I have other pressing duties I must attend to now," Shino informed the Hokage stiffly. "The next time a meeting is scheduled, take care that it should start on time." He made to leave through the still open door, a frosty aura surrounding his cloaked body.

"But Shino, we haven't – "

The look Shino sent the blond, even with his eyes covered and collar up, caused Naruto to falter. "I understand your desire to act like a child still, Naruto. Do not let it become overpowering. Business must first be completed, before you may play." Then he left, leaving Naruto staring at the door with his mouth hanging open.

"Did he just…"

"Wring you out and hang you up to dry?" Kiba stepped around the desk and clapped Naruto sympathetically on the shoulder. "Yup. You get used to it."

"But…"

Shikamaru moved back to lean against the wall, hands in pockets. "Does this mean the meeting's dismissed? I have some…things to go do…"

Sakura rolled her eyes at that. "Like laze around on a hilltop and avoid Ino? Yeah, really productive."

"But he…" Naruto was still staring at the door. "He…"

"He's Shino," Kiba summed it up. After all, he had known the man the longest. "He likes things all nice and orderly and concise, and face it Naruto, you just aren't."

With a grumble, the blond thumped back down into his chair. "Well fine. We can have a meeting without him." Suspicious silence met his declaration, and he looked up to see all three other adults looking at him in disbelief.

"Hey, I'm outa here," Kiba proclaimed, making for the door. "Shino's the one with all the info anyways." Shikamaru was hot on his tail, leaving Sakura alone with Naruto.

"Well, as long as I'm here, there are some things in the hospital budget I need to go over…"

As she started into a long rant about how little funding the hospital had for needed things such as replacement gurneys for the ones falling apart, Naruto groaned and put his head in his hands. Easy, yeah right.


	288. Reckoning

This is kind of my elaboration on the newest Naruto chapter, 562 (if you haven't read it, this is ALL spoilers! So avoid if you don't want it spoiled!) and I still haven't stopped squealing. It made me that happy. I hope this suits to Addster's vision of what she thought I could write, when I was looking the chapter over, I kept thinking 'there's no way I can get all these emotions portrayed in here'. But I tried my best. I also hope it has enough new stuff that it doesn't seem like a simple restatement of the...8 pages covering the topic. ^^;

* * *

Reckoning

Tsunade paced in the large room occupied by only five people, but it still felt too small. She felt caged, trapped from a battle she knew she couldn't interfere with yet, she was too valuable. But her troops were dying out there, as were shinobi from each of the other four great nations. And all they could do was wait and listen to updates from the Yamanaka as he was relayed information from all parts of the battlefield.

Again she spun on her heel, green coat whipping behind her body as she paced to the table, almost yanking out the chair awaiting her there and falling into it. In the background she could hear a murmured conversation between one of the Cloud kunoichi and the Raikage, but she focused her attention on her steepled fingers.

They knew Naruto was back, and he was helping at each battlefield. But whether or not he was enough to change the tide of battle…that was up to her blond brat. No, of course he was strong enough, she had told the Raikage just that, and Naruto had proven it. She wouldn't doubt him. He just…

Her thoughts were interrupted by the jubilant ring in the voice of their contact. "Unit Four has sealed the enemy! Unit Five has controlled their battle! Units One and Two have banded together against the enemy! Unit Three has turned the battle! The medical unit is under control once more!"

That was her boy there. Turning the fortunes of battle with a wave of his hand. Tsunade couldn't suppress the smirk on her features as Shikaku summed up the report in one triumphant sentence. "Seems he can be trusted, hm?" she asked, turning to the Raikage.

He had an annoyed grimace on his face, but all he responded was "Hmph." Nothing else, and she gloated internally over the fact. Now if they could wrap the battle up and hunt down Madara…

Hold that thought. "Madara is moving in the direction of the Jinchuuriki. No…Uchiha Madara has been sighted by Unit Four, through Impure Resurrection."

Shikaku frowned at the relayer, as Tsunade whipped her head back to stare in disbelief at the man, her blonde hair flying around her face. "Explain."

"Uchiha Madara's chakra and body have been confirmed by the Yondaime Tsuchikage at the battlefield of Unit Four. The man claiming to be Uchiha Madara is still moving in the direction of the jinchuuriki," the man elaborated, a droplet of sweat trickling down his cheek under the mask.

If Uchiha Madara – the _true_ Uchiha Madara – was on the field, the men in that unit stood not a chance. Gaara led that unit with his siblings, and Naruto would never forgive himself if any of them died. As though to prove her point, a second later the whole building shook as though trying to tear itself from its foundations.

"What's going on?" Shikaku barked at the relayer, and the reply sent a spear of cold dread straight through Tsunade's chest.

"All unit intels are reporting a rock large enough to block out the sky was dropped on Unit Four!"

"Tsunade-sama!" Shikaku turned his head over his shoulder, staring at the blonde Hokage with something close to desperation in his eyes. "We…"

That did it. She _refused_ to sit in a building as men were killed all around them by a man she held a personal grudge against, as well as the responsibility of Konoha's inability to suppress him all those years ago. Her golden eyes narrowing to slits and mouth tightening at the corners, Tsunade growled "I'm heading out."

It wasn't a request or a boast. A simple statement of a fact that no one would dare argue with. Her hands clenching, Tsunade pushed away from the table, storming away. She finally had a purpose besides sitting around, being a 'leader', and it was in every line of her body.

"You! Mabui, right?" The startled attention of the Cloud kunoichi told her she had the name right. "Get that teleportation technique ready!" The silly girl tried to argue, saying something about how her body couldn't handle the strain, but she would have none of it. She _would _get to that battlefield, no matter the cost, and nothing was going to stand in her way. Besides, she was the top medical kunoichi in the world. Short of the body being dissolved into atoms, she could fix it.

Shikaku too, tried to think of a way for her to arrive at the battlefield, saying something about Genma's squad. She knew the Yondaime had taught Genma and his two fellow guards the Hirashin through the papers left in the Hokage's office, but none of the three were able to use the technique on their own. It was one of Konoha's best kept secrets. But she didn't have time for a 'work around' when she had the power to bulldoze straight through. "You don't need to contact Genma," she overrode the Nara, sending a piercing gaze straight at him. "I'll be fine."

"But – "

"I'll use this." Her thumb brushed across the seal perpetually on her forehead, mirrored to look so like her grandmother's.

Out of the reactions she had expected, his groan and hand going to his forehead wasn't it. "Of course. But that's a huge gamble, and with your luck…"

That she took affront to. "Only when it comes to money," she snapped back. "When it comes to my own life, I win every time! I'm still alive, aren't I?" She wouldn't gamble any other life against time either, fate being a cruel mistress, and the whole charade was taking too long. "Mabui!"

"R-Raikage!" the girl turned to her leader, eyes pleading. "Make her reconsider!"

"Hm…" he paused, one hand cradling his chin as his eyes narrowed. "Mabui, prepare it for two."

"But~!" The silly girl stopped her protests under the steely glares of two Kages. The building had been chosen originally, and Mabui remaining, specifically for her technique. In the back of the room was a platform used as a launching pad for the teleportation.

"Shikaku!" Tsunade snapped out, eyes sliding to the Nara who gave her a brisk nod. He would deal with other reinforcements. She stood next to the Raikage on the stone pad, sensing Mabui's hesitation. "Do it!" she commanded, injecting all the authority of her position in the tone. It had the desired effect and the girl's face firmed, her hands coming together into the release seal.

The blonde felt the effects of the jutsu more than heard the release words. Her body felt as though it was being pulled in a million directions, her skeleton trying to escape the confines of her skin, pulling against the restraint of muscles and sinew. It hurt more than a thousand needles all being stuck in her flesh at once, but she refused to yell out, clenching her jaw shut with iron will. Madara was near Naruto, and that dead man had another think coming if he thought she would let him lay a hand on her boy.

No, if that traitor tried to get away with anything – Impure Resurrection or not – he would be nothing but a smear on the rock.

It seemed an undeterminable time filled with pain later when they 'landed' at the battlefield, the Raikage standing straight and without an injury on him, despite his face being twisted in a grimace of agony, and she activated the genesis seal, once again shortening her lifespan. Well, there were some things worth losing life for, and the while protection of the world they all held dear certainly ranked right up there on the list, protection of Naruto came before even that. So she gladly gave up that time, feeling her skin knit itself back together and the blood from the tears disappearing.

She heard Naruto's exclamation in the background as he registered her presence, an incredulous "Baa-chan!" He never would let that name go. Then the Mizukage's arrival elicited an even louder "Woah!" from the boy as he leapt back to avoid being landed on.

She took in his appearance in a half-second's glance, registering the deep wounds on his cheek, the way his right sleeve was torn up, the way one eye was nearly closed due to blood. Oh yes, Madara would pay, and she would love to finally exact that vengeance.

Next to her, the other four Kages gathered, presenting a united force to the man who through reputation alone was trying to cause the destruction of their world.

It was time for the reckoning.


	289. Caught in a Book

Idea from Maelynae, hope it suits!

* * *

Caught in a Book

Minato settled a little deeper into his comfortable couch, the punched pillow behind his head and neck molding to support them just right. It was the perfect time to read, a day off of relaxation where Sarutobi had generously offered to take over his duties for a day to allow the Yondaime a few hours away from the never ending paperwork. There was something about reading a book that just wiped away all the frustration of paperwork as though it had never existed – until he set foot in his office again, of course.

On this wonderful day, he had chosen a book written by his sensei almost a decade ago. Not one with a fluorescent cover, for that was just asking to be punched, kicked, sliced, and otherwise mauled by a wrathful Kushina, but one worn at the edges, pages slightly dog-eared, and with a dull cover. One he had read many times over the intervening years since Jiraiya had first given it to him.

Flipping the cover open as he had so many times before, Minato smiled at the inscription on the inside. _To Minato, my prodigious pupil. Let this be your guide, and I hope it embodies your achievements._ He couldn't help but chuckle at the slightly self-important words of the Sannin. But he did indeed try to live up to the example provided by the main character, Naruto, in the book.

With that thought in mind, he turned the cover page to look at the first paragraph of text on the first page, and with a mental sigh of happiness, prepared to read.

* * *

Kushina thought it odd that Minato wasn't at the door to greet her when she finally arrived home. He had made such a big deal of not having to work that day, and how it meant they would be able to spend more time together. Just for that reason, she had managed to worm her way out of having to do even more scroll filing on the excuse of having a few errands to run.

Well, maybe he was out. "Minato?" she called for good measure, listening for any small noises like a shuffle or a cough, or her boyfriend calling out "Welcome home". No such sounds. He _could_ have theoretically left for somewhere, but the blond had expressed a desire to remain indoors and relaxed that day, he wouldn't go out simply to walk the streets, let alone shop.

"Minato," she called again, feet tracing her on the well-known path through the sitting room to the right of the entrance, peeking into the kitchen and seeing the remnants of a hasty lunch, and back towards the stairs. Maybe he was on the second floor…

The slightest rustle drew her attention to the couch hidden in the corner of the room, under the window, and sure enough, there was Minato. His nose was buried deep in a book, to the point she couldn't even see the appendage, and the rustle was from the necessity of having to turn a page. Other than that, the blond was as still as a statue, only his eyes moving.

"Minato?" No response from the man on the couch save for _maybe_ the slightest flicker of one blue eye in her direction. "Minato." That got her half a second of attention, an acknowledgement of her being in the room, and a rushed 'Hi Kushina'.

The redhead rolled her eyes and moved closer to the couch, trying to see what engrossed the Yondaime. The cover was plain but for the title and author, and it appeared a bit beat up. Now that she thought about it, she had seen Minato reading that same book before, and each time he did his attention span seemed to narrow to a single point, all focused on the text he was holding. "Minato, what's that book about?"

There was a pause that she took as Minato registering she had talked, figuring out the words, and translating their meaning. "It's about…" he began, eyes still skimming the page he was on. "A boy…who…" A page turn. "Goes around…saving…people…" He trailed off, eyes widening as he read some paragraph, and she lost him to the book.

"Minato?" Nope, no response. It was like she didn't exist again, his consciousness was sucked into whatever world he was reading. "Minato, I'll make ramen for dinner tonight if you stop reading." Normally the mention of ramen had him drooling and begging her to make it _now_, but not even a twitch of a finger to that statement was elicited this time.

"I'm going to ask Jiraiya to name all our kids." A dire threat, and one he had protested – vigorously – the few times she had used it before. He could never tell if she was being serious. His eyebrows knit slightly, but his mouth didn't even open to speak out against the topic.

"I'll let Anko loose in your office." Well damn, still nothing. He was well and truly lost to that book, and nothing she could say or do would drag him out until he had finished it. Again. For the hundredth time.

With an exasperated sigh, Kushina paced away from the couch, deciding that some relaxing time of her own was definitely in the cards as long as Minato wouldn't be begging her to make food and she didn't have any more errands to accomplish. But she really just wanted to sit with her boyfriend and talk for a few minutes…or an hour…

It was as she passed the small closet at the foot of the stairs that she remembered. Yes. That may actually work. As a last resort, it was able to break _anyone_ from a trance. And it was guaranteed to get his attention. With a Cheshire cat grin, Kushina grabbed her favorite 'arsenal' and made for the living room once more.

Minato was in for an interesting, and possibly fun – for her at least – experience.


	290. In the Shadows

Yes, I'm writing a story about not sleeping while sleep deprived. I just have that kind of humor.

* * *

In the Shadows

Tsunade let out a frustrated breath, rolling over in her bed once more as the covers tugged at her body, restricting the movement. It wasn't a good night, she simply couldn't sleep. Oh she was tired, yes, but that blessed unconsciousness just wouldn't come.

Next to her bed, the clock numbers glowed red, telling her it had been an hour and a half of restlessness. Staring at the device, she felt her eyelids prickle with that feeling of absolute exhaustion, and begin to close on their own. Maybe she would be able…to sleep through…the night…

When her weary eyes blinked open it was two in the morning, and her stomach was rumbling. No, there was _no way_ she was going to leave her nice warm nest of a bed to grab some food she could just as easily get in the morning. Nope.

Hugging her pillow tighter to her head, Tsunade determinedly closed her eyes and evened out her breathing, already half asleep. Half asleep, that is, until she couldn't stand the dry feeling in her throat anymore. While hunger was ignorable, thirst was not.

The blonde let out a groan as she threw back the covers, flinching as the cold air hit her exposed skin, and padded on bare feet across the wooden floor boards to the stairs, and down to the kitchen. She didn't bother to flick on the light, knowing it would just cause her pain and probably wake her up even more than she wanted to be. Just being vertical was an annoyance.

She rustled through the cabinets, pulling out a bag of pretzels, grabbing a handful, a slice of bread, and a bottle of honey. Stuffing the salty snack into her mouth, she drizzled honey all over the bread with her newly freed hand and headed for the stairs once more.

Tsunade was halfway up before she realized she had forgotten the water.

Grumbling curses under her breath, the woman retreated down the stairs once more, licking sticky honey from her fingers as she yanked open the fridge door, grabbed the first bottle she saw – squinting against the bright glare of the light – and snatching a glass from the open cabinet to her right.

She honestly didn't care if she slopped liquid over the sides of the glass and onto the counter as she poured, she would just clean it up later. All she wanted was to go to bed, sleep, and not wake up until she was fully rested.

Draining the glass, Tsunade stuck it in the sink as she left the kitchen, grumbling to herself as she climbed the stairs. She could swiftly feel the sleepy feeling leaving her body, and she hoped getting horizontal again would encourage it's return.

The shadows hid most of the house from view, covering corners and steps and end tables in darkness as she navigated her way back to her bedroom. As a kunoichi, she thrived in the darkness, lived in it…but there was something about her house at night that made it unnerving. Rounding a corner, she could have sworn there was something moving at the edges of her vision, flickering.

An instant adrenaline rush flooded her body, bringing her senses sharp and wide awake as her sharp eyes searched for the source. Nothing, not even a moving curtain. She wasn't even sure anything had been there in the first place, or if it was just her eyes playing tricks on her.

Growling under her breath, Tsunade retreated to her bedroom, closing her door a little firmer than necessary, _just in case._ Her rumpled bed looked inviting, although when she slid under the covers she found it cold. _Crap_.

A quick glance at the clock next to her bed showed the time 3:08; it had taken her _an hour_. Where had the time gone? It hadn't seemed that long. With a muffled curse, Tsunade rolled over and buried her face in the pillow, looking for that elusive miracle known as sleep.

She was almost there – right on the border of sleep and waking dreams – when a scratching sound woke her out of her doze. Brushing it off as a onetime occurrence, she didn't even lift her head from the pillow, tired eyes remaining shut.

There it was again, coming from over near the window. It reminded her almost of nails on a chalkboard, grating at her eardrums until it was all she could hear, over and over and…with a frustrated growl, she shot up and out of her – once again _nicely _warm – bed, stalking over to the window with every intent of seriously maiming whatever was making the noise. Shoving the curtains aside, she peered out into the now predawn gloominess, seeing the faint outlines of trees.

A gust of wind rustled by, making the branches wave and one brushed across the stonework next to her window – the scratching sound. Honestly, what was it with everything conspiring so she couldn't get her night of sleep? The blonde threw open her window, shivering slightly as the damp air penetrated her room, and with a deft twist, snapped off the offending twig brushing her house and chucking it down to the ground below.

There. Now she could _finally_ get some decent rest. Slamming the window shut, muttering curses once more, she stalked back to her bed and glared at the clock reading 3:54. Pushing at the buttons on the top, she squinted at the red lights until they read 12:54AM, and gave a happy sigh. There. Time to sleep, and hell-be-unleashed on anyone who thought to disturb her earlier than eleven in the morning by _her_ clock.

The morning chirping of birds roused her at just after dawn, and the resulting crash shut them right up.


	291. Wish

The poem is mine, one of few out of the many I've written that I actually like after a year. ^^; I hope you guys like my 'insights' for Konoha.

* * *

Wish

_A sky so blue_  
_ A tree so green_  
_ A cloud so white_  
_ Is just a dream._

Konoha was an ideal to most people, she decided. A happy village, the strongest of five, where the clouds all looked like white cotton balls against a blue sky, it never rained, it never snowed, it never cowered in the ashes of fire and war. No. Konoha existed outside of time and reality, the dream home to many, even when they lived inside its walls.

The villagers went about their daily life unfettered by worries, smiling happily at any customers who stopped by, friends they knew on the street, laughing and comparing stories of what this child had done, this husband gifted, this friend had joked about.

The academy students were happy, joking with each other about what they were learning, never realizing how it was going to be applied later in life when faced with moral dilemmas.

Genin complained good-naturedly about their D-rank missions, begging for higher prestige ones where they would be allowed to show off their skills. They made up a good portion of the population on the streets, lugging around bags of groceries, painting fences, walking animals.

Off duty chuunin and jounin sat in bars laughing about their latest mission, a good joke they had overheard, that latest gossip in the ANBU headquarters. Their carefree attitude didn't seem at all forced, even though at odds with their job description.

Yes, an ideal they all tried so hard to keep going, because if they actually had to stop and think about the lives they were living, the threats around every corner, the people outside the walls – they would lose it all, and the dream would shatter.

What was life without a dream?

_In true reality_  
_ The sky is grey_  
_ The tree is brown_  
_ The cloud is black._

Just as the dream provided the mask, she could see the underneath, the truth of Konoha, that it was a harsh, dark, unforgiving place, where a child could be shunned for nothing at all but their name and their face.

She saw it in the children huddled on the street corners, abandoned children the orphanage had kicked out once they turned five or six to make room for more war orphans coming in. The way they begged for food or loose change in the alleyways, their thin clothes spotted with holes where they had been dragged across the cement too many times.

She saw it in the haunted look of the genin reporting back from their first true mission, the dead acceptance or horror of what they had been forced to do or see. The light of innocence would never return to those eyes, they would forever see the world in a bleak grey, looking for the horror underneath the happiness.

The chuunin, jounin, and ANBU who returned from missions, faces grim with ill news from the outside world beyond the walls, where strength and cunning weren't enough, sometimes simply numbers triumphed. Numbers that dwindled swiftly. Even in winning there was no joy, but in losing there was always fear.

The villagers always looking behind their backs, waiting for the next visiting relative to go missing, the next shinobi friend to not come back, the next child to be orphaned. They couldn't do anything but wait and hope. Their storefronts were covered in bright colors, draped with sparkling streamers and neon signs, but it was all just that – a front. The hushed conversations were covered by the too jovial renditions, but the covert glances as one looked for a friend or whispered a truth couldn't be hidden.

No matter how nice Konoha looked on the outside, she decided, it's truth always shone through, the dull colors slowly diminishing the bright until there was no difference between dream and reality.

But she would give anything, as would they all, for that dream to be real.

_And as the tears fall_  
_ You wish for the world_  
_ Where all is bright_  
_ Instead of dark._


	292. Card Games

I apologize for anyone who gets lost during the Euchre portion of this, but cardgames are my passion, and Euchre takes the top prize there. Also - that cow thing? Yeah. It exists, and my cousin does it all the time. It's _really_ fun to _beat_ him when he does it too, cuz he looks so deflated afterwards. Then I get to rub it in his face. =)

* * *

Card Games

"Hah!" Tsunade smirked across the table at her opponent, laying down her hand as she retained eye contact with him. "Four of a kind! Beat that!" she challenged, searching his face for any sign of anger or defeat. After all, there was no way her had a –

"Royal flush," Jiraiya smirked back, picking the cards out of his hand one by one and laying them down the table with little snaps for emphasis. Ten to ace of spades." As the blonde's expression clouded over, he added "Sorry hime, luck just ain't on your side tonight."

"Tonight?" she scowled, scooping all the cards towards her to get rid of that taunting hand. "Try ever. Luck is _never_ on my side." The unfortunate deck was rigorously shuffled, cards being bent harshly for a bridge.

Jiraiya frowned internally; while they had played cards many times before and Tsunade's hobby itself was gambling, she never seemed to take a loss this hard. Maybe it had been one too many times luck – or fate – was against her. He didn't want to lose his card partner to a flash of temper, he'd never get her back. As the woman began to deal out the hands once again, fine blonde eyebrows knit in fury, Jiraiya wracked his brain for any way to change the game.

He picked up his hand and groaned internally – two, four, five of diamonds, two and four of hearts. Definitely not a good start if he wanted to keep her in the game. No doubt she had some mix and match of each suit and different cards at least two ranks apart. The death glare she was giving her cards certainly helped to confirm that suspicion.

The mood only dropped even further with each discard and draw, Jiraiya desperately trying to keep the proverbial boat afloat by getting rid of any cards that seemed promising. But somehow the luck just kept coming to him – it was as though he was siphoning off all of Tsunade's luck and converting it to his own hand.

Just as he was fully despairing and it seemed as though his card partner was going to throw her hand on the table in disgust and cede the game, two people burst into the room. "Baa-chan!" Tsunade twitched at the nickname, and her hand slipped onto the tabletop, face up. Internally Jiraiya groaned. Indeed, she had only a one pair. Honestly. "Baa-chan you need – " Naruto cut himself off as his eyes caught sight of the cards on the table. "Woah, you're losing bad!"

"Thanks for stating the obvious, gaki," she snapped back, flipping her cards over with a jerk of her hand. "What is it?"

But his attention had been caught and now the blond wandered closer, Sakura moving behind him. She didn't seem to be in any hurry for whatever Naruto 'needed' Tsunade for to be mentioned and stood behind Jiraiya, eyeing first his cards than her shishou. "You have her beat."

"Don't remind me," he muttered back, smoothly scooping up both of their hands and the draw pile and shuffling. A brilliant idea had just come to him, and it was time to put it into action. "You kids, sit down." The two Sannin had been playing at a square table with four chairs, and it was perfect time to make use of them. Easily the white haired man shifted one seat to the right, sitting next to Tsunade, who gave him an odd look even as she fended off Naruto's questions about why she was doing so badly. She also looked on the verge of punching him. "Naruto, across from Tsunade and Sakura next to him."

With dual mystified looks the two teenagers did as they were told, and Jiraiya gave them both a grin full of promise and threat. "Now, do you two know how to play Euchre?" His hands were already deftly separating the cards by number, nine through ace in one pile, fours and sixes in another, and the remainder of the cards off to the side.

"Uh yeah, you taught me last year," Naruto replied, still staring at his mentor as though he had gone mental. "But you said…"

"It requires four players," Sakura finished for him. "Tsunade-shishou taught me one evening."

"And we have four players," Jiraiya inserted smoothly, sliding a set of score cards to Naruto and beginning the deal before anyone could protest. "So why don't we – " he flipped over the turn card "– play?"

Tsunade looked as though she were about to chew him out as she scooped up her hand, but the moment her eyes lit upon the cards she snapped her mouth shut and began to grin. "Why not?" Sakura still looked ready to protest the impromptu game, but a well-placed glare from Tsunade stopped her from speaking, as did the tightening of the Sannin's fist. A kick under the table stopped Naruto. "Pass." And the game began.

* * *

Two hours and four games tied later, Tsunade and Naruto were on their eighth point of ten while Sakura and Jiraiya were still stuck at two. "Trumped!" Naruto crowed, laying the right bower down on top of Jiraiya's ace as the white haired man cursed. "And that's another point to us!"

As he moved the score cards another point open, a sly gleam came into his eyes. "Hey, baa-chan, guess what?"

The blonde woman was in much higher spirits than she had been during Jiraiya's bridge massacre, and grinned right back. "What?"

"Moo." Sticking the two score cards behind his ears, Naruto interlaced his fingers and flipped them outward so his thumbs pointed downward. "Cow's in the barn!"

Sakura just stared at her teammate as though he had gone crazy, while Jiraiya rubbed a hand down his face to cover his eyes. One of his stupider ideas, teaching Naruto that gloating move to the game. And of course, Tsunade had taught him…

Full out laughing now, Tsunade reached out and tugged on each of Naruto's thumbs, proclaiming "Milk the cow, cow's in the barn!" to accompany Naruto's "Moo!"

"I'm surrounded by crazy people," Sakura stated, an expression of pure disbelief on her face. "Can we just get on with the game?"

"Aw, c'mon Sakura-chan, it's a lost battle now," Naruto smirked at her. "We've as good as won."

"We'll just see about that."

And they did see. The two blondes got all five tricks of the last round, winning the game 11-2. Jiraiya buried his face in his hands and groaned as Sakura stared at the final play. "They just…" Well, at least Tsunade would definitely play cards again, Jiraiya mused. Naruto must be the luckiest guy in the world to balance out her luck.

Tsunade had exploded out of her chair and was pointing fingers in every direction, laughing gleefully, while Naruto lounged back in his chair, score cards still behind his ears, and fingers laced behind his head as he gloated.

"Cow's in the barn and the gate's shut!"


	293. Palantir

I suffer from this other obsession known as Lord of the Rings. This marvelous plot bunny belongs to Kaiser969, who was so kind to lend it to me for the night. I apologize for any confusion for anyone who hasn't read LotR - a palantir is a crystal ball through which a wizard (Saruman) can see anywhere he desires, or contact Sauron (menacer of Middle Earth). Saruman's palantir went mysteriously missing (due to some inquisitive hobbits) during the series, and so what if he imagined Sarutobi had his palantir instead?

* * *

Palantir

Sarutobi Hiruzen, Hokage of Konohagakure, stared into the crystal ball in front of him with a pensive gaze. Everything looked to be going quite well in the village, with even Naruto actually attending class – he had to do a triple take just to make sure he wasn't mistaking something else for the boy's mop of unruly blond hair. But no, that was in fact Naruto sitting in the classroom looking bored at Iruka where the teacher stood pointing at the blackboard.

Yes, all seemed well, and the Hokage sat back with a contented sigh. Maybe today would be a day where he wouldn't be called on for any emergencies, and instead he could just relax…

Such contemplation was disturbed – violently – by a man striding into his office, banging the door open with a metal staff. "You have my palantir!"

Out of every single possible scenario Sarutobi could have come up with for his office being invaded…this didn't even make the list of remotely plausible. For Kami's sake, the man was spouting gibberish! "I beg your pardon?"

The tall man with the white and black streaked hair and long beard scowled ferociously as one hand gripped his staff firmly, and the other leveled a gnarled finger at the Hokage's torso. "My palantir! How dare you steal it! For such impudence, Sauron shall punish you!"

The man was quite obviously deranged, Sarutobi decided. He pushed his chair back from his desk inch by inch, freeing his legs and body so he had a full range of motion to avoid any attacks – or launch one of his own. One never knew what a crazy man invading a person's office could or would do, after all. "I'm sorry, you must be mistaken. I have no such…palantir," he stumbled over the unfamiliar word, "here. I can however escort you down to ANBU where…"

"You lie! It rests in front of you." The man seemed almost apoplectic with rage, and he stretched one hand out in a shaking claw towards Sarutobi's desk – and Sarutobi himself. The Hokage felt a flash of concern and slight fear at what the intruder intended to do – and why his ANBU had yet to rush into the office to apprehend the intruder. Indeed, how the intruder had gotten into the building in the first place. "Come!" the man barked, as well as a few other words in a spidery tongue the Hokage didn't recognize.

Whatever was supposed to happen, didn't. Bushy eyebrows knit in a thunderous scowl at the desk, and Sarutobi decided that was the time to make his move. In under a second he was out from behind his desk, pinning the intruder to the wall with a kunai to the throat and a hand right below his ribcage. Any false move and he wouldn't live to see another day. "Your name."

"You would _dare_ to lay hands on me?" the man's voice was scornful and his free hand – not holding the staff – shot out. Some invisible force tugged at the Hokage, not a wind jutsu of any sort, but an actual _force_, which pulled him away from the man. "Sauron will not forget this sleight to his power."

"_Who is Sauron?_" Sarutobi was fed up with the cryptic names and words he didn't understand or know. Obviously he couldn't kill this man straight out, but he would get all the information he could.

"Sauron, the lord of Mordor, the ruler of all his eye may see," the man proclaimed in a booming voice, arms stretched wide. "Sauron, creator of the one ring, your lord and master. Sauron, who's palantir you have _stolen_!" Again with the palantir. The other epithets meant absolutely nothing to the confused Hokage, but that apparently this Sauron fancied himself some sort of tyrant. But wherever this land of 'Mordor' was, it was nowhere near Konoha. "Wormtongue! Retrieve the palantir."

A man with greasy black locks scrambled out from behind the doorframe where he had been hiding, scuttling towards Sarutobi's desk and swiping his coveted – and only –crystal ball from the table. Now that was unforgivable. Faster than the eye could trace, Sarutobi moved and snatched the glass from the man's unsuspecting hands, and in the same move pinned him to the wall with four kunai. "I will not allow you to handle my possessions. This is your last warning – take your business and leave, or suffer the consequences."

"Saruman bows to no one but Sauron!" the man yelled back, incensed. Sarutobi did a double take at the name, so close to his own. "And no one defies Sauron, if they value their lives." With another fearsome scowl, he extended his hand and yanked it backwards, as though pulling an object towards him. The whimpering 'Wormtongue' was pulled forcibly from the wall and fell to the ground in a crouch in front of the…Sarutobi couldn't think of another name for him but wizard…sniveling. "Rise, you mongrel," Saruman kicked the smaller man in the ribs, and Wormtongue immediately struggled to his feet, cowering in front of his tormentor.

"You." The black beady eyes under bushy brows pinned the completely confused Hokage with a glare that promised retribution – for what, Sarutobi didn't know. "We shall return for our _property_," Saruman spit the word, "and when that day comes, you shall regret ever defying us." The intruder swept from the office, long grey-ish robes sweeping behind him, as Wormtongue cowered in his wake. When Sarutobi looked out the door two seconds later the mysterious duo were gone.

Completely mystified, the Hokage unclasped his hand from his crystal ball, which seemed to be all the strangers cared about. "How curious; what is a palantir?" he mumbled to himself and set the ball back on its stand, just as his ANBU charged into the room, a few minutes too late.


	294. Chemistry

This just seems to be my week to geek out. Chem major writing a story featuring chemistry. Here we go! ;) But anyway, tomorrow I get to play with some seriously dangerous chemicals. Muahahahaha...thanks to Kaiser969 for helping develop this!

* * *

Chemistry

Tsunade muttered to herself as she paced down the crowded hallway, students parting before her like a wave. She didn't even notice except to sidestep a particularly slow one as she leafed through the binder she was holding open before her. The blonde woman flipped through the pages, checking exactly what she had prepped the day before and making sure that…

"Senju."

She stopped abruptly, broken from her many mental lists by the call. Only one of the teachers in the miserable school would dare address her in that tone…"What can I do for you, Orochimaru?"

His voice came from behind her, low and a bit slimy. "Senju, I heard you are teaching the chemistry laboratory today."

"How well informed you are," she turned around slowly, taking in the too white skin, long black hair, and burning bright eyes in a thin face. "What's it to you?"

"Just a friendly warning." He gave her a parody of a smile. "After all, we can't have you falling victim as well."

"Victim?"

"One student. Uzumaki Naruto. Don't let him handle chemicals, or you'll regret it." For once the man actually seemed serious, not trying to pull some joke for his own amusement on her, but there was no real way to tell.

"Look, it's not like anything bad can happen with this lab," she told him impatiently, flipping another page in her binder to check the chemical concentration. Less than one molar, they couldn't even burn themselves.

"You think my skin is this white naturally?" Orochimaru changed the subject obliquely, gesturing to his face and arms.

That got a scornful laugh from the blonde teacher. "Not enough sun, too much World of Warcraft."

"Don't believe me at your own peril, Senju. You'll regret it…" his voice trailed off and the thin man turned to walk back the way he had come. "I'll hire you a substitute for tomorrow. Don't say I didn't ever do you a favor, Senju."

Scoffing under her breath, Tsunade wheeled around again and took those last few steps to the chemistry room where her students waited. "Okay, listen up!" The room fell dead silent. "Today we're making slime, you know the drill! Goggles, gloves, benches. Scat!"

As the students rummaged around the room, collecting their gear, Tsunade walked over to the cabinet set into the wall behind her desk and pulled out the two chemicals they'd be using, as well as a few packages of coloring. It should be a fun lab, one not even the worst student could screw up.

Right.

Unconsciously, her eyes drifted to the energetic blond boy Orochimaru had 'seen fit' to warn her about. He was laughing, goggles swinging idly from one tanned finger as he took a lazy swipe at one of his friends. Watch him, the previous chemistry teacher had said. Watch him for what?

Whatever. She shrugged it off, carting the two carboys over to the trays she had already prepared for them. "Okay kids, listen up!" she got their attention once more, and proceeded to lay out the lab.

Half an hour later, she was patrolling between the lab benches as the students mixed up their chemicals. It wasn't a hard lab, add a little sodium borate to the other, mix it up, add a bit of dye, and viola. Slime. Only an idiot could screw it up. No, she corrected herself. Only someone with worse luck and less observant than an idiot.

"Hey, is this supposed to be happening?" a student's voice carried across the room, sounding a bit excited with maybe a tinge of fear.

Her head turned trying to locate the owner of the voice, and saw the blond Naruto standing a little back from his bench, pointing at where his bright green mixture was…bubbling? No, she had to be mistaken. There was no way those two chemicals would mix to make anything boil, let alone…

"Hey!"

That startled exclamation was all the warning she had before an explosion of green rocketed up and outwards from Naruto's lab station. There wasn't much force behind the flying goop, but the as she ducked forward, she felt it impact her head; _slime_.

When she looked up two seconds later, none of the class was visible, and some green speckles dotted the ceiling above the affected lab bench. However, none of the…creation…was visible. It couldn't simply disappear, that was impossible. Just like making the batch boil…

Students began to emerge from under the lab benches where they had apparently sheltered, far more used to lab with Naruto than she, as a first time lab instructor for that class, was.

"Ah…sorry 'bout that." The blond boy rubbed sheepishly at the back of his neck as he approached Tsunade, eyes not leaving her head. "Ya see, I thought I had it controlled but…guess you got the same luck as Orochimaru-sensei."

What?

"Maybe you should go wash that out…"Naruto continued, pointing at her hair. "But last time, it was permanent…"

Instinctively Tsunade grabbed at one of the locks framing her face, pulling it before her eyes. Bright. Green. In fact, the same bright green shade as Naruto's concoction. "You…" Words failed her. She had been warned, and now she had _green_ hair. No. Just…no. Without a word to her student, Tsunade spun on her heel and stalked out of the laboratory, only to be brought up short by a bark of a laugh.

"I told you," Orochimaru smirked at the now green-haired woman. "It never leaves." And with that he sauntered into her classroom as she stormed down the halls, intent on scrubbing that vibrant color _out_.

The next morning, the chemistry class was sitting bored, waiting for their newest sensei to arrive. Everyone knew after one of Naruto's 'accidents', they got a new teacher.

The door opened slowly, and the few students slouching sat up a bit straighter, interested in who it was this time. A hand with one _very_ long nail curled around the edge of the door, to be followed by a man dressed in white, black, and purple.

"Your last…incompetent…teacher," he began with no preamble, shuffling slowly to the front of the classroom, "has called in absent for the day." He broke off, muttering to himself about sensibilities and morals. "So it falls to me to teach you little maggots _true_ chemistry. Get to your desks!"


	295. Dance

I was reading the Black Jewels Trilogy today, and I love the emphasis Anne Bishop puts on dance in terms of the give and take of politics and battle. Add in a pissed-off-ness at the world, and you get this.

* * *

Dance

Tsunade moved forward gracefully, tilting her head to the side to avoid the punch at her face, sweeping an arm to the side to knock the offender out of her direct path as she ducked under another man's stab and rammed her other elbow into his diaphragm. With a startled choke, the swordsman fell backwards and she moved on, pivoting on one leg to jab a kunai through his heart as she passed then sweeping a leg out to trip up the opponent behind her.

It was a graceful, deadly dance, perfectly choreographed where one misstep meant injury or death. It was what she had been trained to do, a give and take of power between men and women who had been honed to be the finest weapons. Just like the generations past, and the generations since, she would dance.

An arm out to block the woman who punched at her, other arm catching the leg swept towards her abdomen, and suddenly the attacker was spinning through the air to fall to the ground, Pivot on her heel to meet the next attacker, allow him to rush past and slice his hamstring so he fell onto his comrade. She left them struggling in the churned up battlefield behind her, moving on to meet the next attacker.

Just a lovely dance, each movement unique to the next situation, a split second decision on how to react. Block, thrust, spin, next. Duck, sweep, lift, pull. Using momentum against the attackers, never stopping lest she become even more of a target. They all converged on her, each wanting to be her next partner in the deadly sequence of steps.

_"Ojii-sama? Why do you always have to train?"_

_"It is the only way to become better, Tsunade-chan. Until you completely understand your body, you cannot utilize its utmost potential."_

_"But don't you get tired of it?"_

_"How could I get tired of discovering a new level I have never reached before? Of becoming a master of my skill, always reaching for the new unplumbed depths?"_

At that time she hadn't understood what her beloved grandfather was talking about in such flowery language, except that training made a person stronger. Indeed, even in her twenties when she had played the memory over and over in her head, she couldn't make heads or tails of his words when her mind was clouded by pain and regret.

But now she understood with a new clarity. He too, was always looking to take those graceful movements to a new level: an new application for a form, a new use for a jutsu. And every time he found another, it gave him another edge in battle to use against those unwitting partners.

How could training be boring when it was full of discovery?

_"Always follow through, Tsunade-chan. You must not let your opponent have the chance to return and stab you in the back. Until you know they are dead, they are a threat."_

_"Hai!"_

_"Remember, you are your best defense. Be completely aware on the battlefield and you will survive."_

Those snippets of advice echoed through her head as she exchanged a flurry of blows with a man in a jounin vest. His arm broke as she twisted it and he automatically flinched from the pain. Her opening. Her free hand darted out, kunai slashing across his throat and severing his jugular. Even as she dropped his corpse to the ground she was turning to meet the new threat from behind.

_"Pain is both a shinobi's best ally and worst enemy. When used against an opponent, it can give you the best opening. But just as easily, you can be distracted by your own pain at a crucial moment. Don't ever lose your focus. Pain is temporary, life is not."_

A line of fire opened along her forearm but she ignored it in favor of gutting the offender. It was a momentary discomfort, one that crippled that arm for but a moment. Crouching next to the man to make sure he was dead, one of her hands glowed a pale green and she ran it down the slice. At her will, the top layer of flesh knit until the wound had sealed. No muscle damage, no bone slice, just a shallow cut along her flesh. It just made the dance that more exciting.

_"Never lose your steps, Tsunade-chan. Always know where you are and where you are going next. Never falter, and you shall prevail."_

Yes, a lovely, deadly, choreographed dance. As she glided between opponents, redirecting attacks into others and incapacitating or killing with a swift flicker, she lost herself in the rhythm of the movements. Always a step ahead of her partner, the dominant and the leader, guiding each newcomer through the steps.

The elegant dance of the battlefield.


	296. Gibberish

...Eh. I have a feeling this could be much better than it is, but I'm honestly not sure what to change about it. But I really wanted to do something with gibberish...translations at the bottom. It really is a true language, but it's been a while since I reviewed how it's constructed, so some of the words may be wrong. The pig latin is right though. ;)

* * *

Gibberish

Tsunade bounced impatiently on the bridge as she waited on her forever late teammate. Honestly, after two years the boy should have gotten _somewhat _better at showing up to their planning sessions on time, but no, he was always thirty minutes late. At least. Of course she had adjusted, but that didn't mean the situation didn't irk her.

And besides, it was going to be their best plot yet.

Just then the white haired boy ran up, not quite panting, but definitely out of breath. "Sorry! Sorry I'm late! I was just…" Tsunade's narrowed gaze stopped the rest of his false apology before he could continue. Straightening from his slight crouch, Jiraiya grinned at his soon-to-be partner in crime. "So, we ready for show time?"

The best thing about their partnership, Tsunade mused as she grinned right back, was that nobody ever suspected them to work together. Of course, this mission would blow all that out of the water, but it would be epic.

"Othigif cithigou-ritihigise!"

"Pithiger-fithigect!"

And with those two lines the children 'broke', each heading in different directions to their assigned targets.

Tsunade trekked along the main street of Konoha, keeping an eye out for one of two people – Orochimaru or Sarutobi-sensei. The goal? Drive the two other members of their team batty. After one of them collected Orochimaru they would head to the Hokage tower to unleash their full potential upon the two other hapless males.

Tsunade seriously hoped she was the one to find the raven; what fun was plotting without a little bit of teasing thrown in? And besides, she couldn't risk Jiraiya giving away the whole plan before they had even gotten it fully in motion.

It seemed luck was on her side that day, because Orochimaru was loitering in the market, sizing up some fruit for purchase. "Hey, genius!" Coming from her it was an insult, but to his credit the boy didn't even flinch.

"Tsunade-san, I didn't expect to see you today," he replied levelly, not moving his gaze from the fruit in his hand. "I'll take these five."

She brushed off his dismissal, even though it was true that it was one of the few days where their team didn't meet. Everyone needed a break from each other sometime after all. "Whatever. Sensei wants to see us in the tower, right now! C'mon!" She yanked at his arm, pulling the smaller boy away from the stall and his fruit.

"Hey! My – "for once he sounded like an indignant nine year old, rather than a teenager in a small body.

"Forget your fruit! This is much more important!" Hauling the spluttering raven behind her, Tsunade took off for the tower, only stopping to tap twice on the mic hanging on her neck. Jiraiya would get the message it was time to begin the next part of their plan "Annoy Team Hiruzen, Redux".

It took a little longer to get to the tower that it would have had she been moving unencumbered by a resistant teammate, but Tsunade managed. The secretary was so used to seeing the three members of Team Hiruzen coming and going from the office at all hours that she simply waved the two through, not even raising an eyebrow at Orochimaru's growls of protest. If he had _really _wanted to free himself, it wouldn't have been that hard, but for some reason he actually seemed to _like_ being dragged around. She couldn't figure out why, but didn't particularly want to try to decipher the reason, either.

The great wooden door was already open and Jiraiya standing in front of their sensei, talking animatedly as the Hokage listened, smiling and nodding every so often. He had one of those tolerant 'I'm listening to what you're saying but not really understanding it' looks on his face, one commonly associated with anything Jiraiya.

"Dithigid yithigou githiget hithigim?" the white haired boy asked, turning around as Tsunade barged into the office. He took in the sight of the struggling raven. "Githigood!"

"Othigif cithou-rithigise!" Tsunade sneered back, dropping Orochimaru unceremoniously to the ground. "Withighat kithigind othigif shithigi-nithigo-bithigi dithigo ythigou thithigink Ithigi athigam?"

The other two males of the team stared at Jiraiya and Tsunade as though they were possessed and speaking in tongues – which in a way they were. Jiraiya had picked Gibberish up from somewhere and proceeded to use it – often and copiously – against Tsunade. That was, until she pinned him to a tree and threatened to punch him until he taught her how to speak it.

And so the plan was born. They would never, ever, teach Orochimaru or Sarutobi-sensei how to speak the language, but instead annoy the sanity out of them at every turn. This was just step one.

"Mithigy bithigad, mithigy bithigad," he told her, voice contrite. "Thithigink thithigey athigare cithigon-fithigus-ethigid nithigow?"

"Jitihigu-sitihigit mithigay-bithige," she smirked back, ignoring Orochimaru's strident demands to know what on earth the two were saying.

"Ee-say ou-yay omorrow-tay," Jiraiya suddenly switched the dialect, waving to the baffled Orochimaru and Sarutobi. The Hokage had buried his face in his hands and was peeking out between his fingers at the two irrepressible children in front of his desk who seemed intent on confusing him beyond all possible knowledge.

"Eah-yay," Tsunade agreed, waving to their two teammates as well. "Ood-gay uck-lay!"

After the blonde and the white haired boy had left, Orochimaru turned to his sensei, eyes wide. "Do you think they finally cracked?"

"I don't know," Sarutobi muttered, closing his fingers and trying to play the scene over in his mind without getting a headache. "That last bit sounded suspiciously like 'good luck'."

"Good luck with what?"

Eleventh rule of sanity – never ask what you don't want to know. Just as Orochimaru asked that question, a tape recording came on somewhere in the office, starting with "Dithigid yithigou githiget hithigim?"

Sarutobi's head shot up and his gaze darted around the office, trying to determine the source of the noise, but it seemed to be coming from every corner. And every wall. And his desk. "Those two will be the death of me…"

* * *

"Of course!"

"Perfect!"

"Did you get them? Good!"

"Of course! What kind of shinobi do you think I am?"

"My bad, my bad. Think they are confused yet?"

"Just maybe."

"See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, good luck."


	297. Fangirls and Biscuits

Idea sparked by my roommate talking about...fangirls and biscuits. Yup.

* * *

Fangirls and Biscuits

Sasuke glanced surreptitiously down the street behind him, ever vigilant. Just because he didn't see them didn't mean they weren't there, lurking in the shadows, just waiting for the right moment to strike. As more and more of them caught wind of their quarry, they would amass into a group large enough it was impossible to hide, and become an amorphous blob intent on…well, he didn't know what they intended to do because he had never let them get ahold of him yet, and he certainly didn't want to find out.

The first telltale squeal was let loose and he knew he was running out of time. Picking up his pace imperceptibly, the raven sent another quick glance back over his shoulder and saw two of them about a hundred meters down the road, pointing excitedly and shouting – not whispering, not conversing, shouting – that they had found him, everyone come quick!

No more time. Sasuke broke into a run, just as he heard the roar of the crowd as they pounded down the street in hot pursuit. Again, he knew from experience that it was nearly impossible to lose them in the twists and turns of Konoha's back allies – they just flowed through them like putty, taking up every nook and crevice he could use to hide. The only way he managed to stay safe while he slept was by never letting them know where he really lived.

Well, this time he had a plan.

Heading straight at the building in front of him, one he had carefully scoped out over the course of the last few weeks of walks, Sasuke leapt for the low hanging, from there onto the balcony, and then up again onto the roof. None of _them _could get him that quickly, at least not before he had executed his strategy.

Just as Sasuke expected, they pooled at the base of the building, a huge crowd of adoring women all looking up at him and calling out things like "Sasuke-kun! Come down, I just want to kiss you!" "Sasuke-kun! I love you!" "Sasuke-kun, marry me!" The same old lines each and every day. He suppressed an instinctive and involuntary shudder; he wanted them all as far away from him as possible. And that was just what he was going to do.

"Listen!" he shouted, his voice immediately sending the crowd into a hushed silence. Never before had he addressed them, and the boy was sure he saw at least three of them faint just from the word. Disgusting. "I have something for all of you." Again with the fainting, this time it was a good eighth of the crowd. Well, anything to thin the numbers. "And that is…catch!"

Plunging his hand into the bag he held by his side, Sasuke grabbed a handful of the items he had sent a couple days creating especially for this and skimmed them out over the roof, into the crowd. Immediately they all lunged for the prizes, climbing onto and over each other, grasping at hands and raking with nails in an attempt to get something touched by 'Sasuke-kun's' precious hands.

As he made good his escape, Sasuke couldn't suppress the next shudder to ripple through his body. Somehow he felt slightly violated just by giving into their demands for paraphernalia, but as he continuously told himself, his safety and sanity was better than losing a bit of dignity. A few streets behind now, he could hear the ripping and tearing of the silk-screened shirts he had made. All they had was a small SU on the top, but it was enough they would forever be boasting and showing it off. But at least he could escape.

So it continued for the next three weeks, the beleaguered boy giving out 'prizes' every three days regularly, in the hope it would decrease his following on the off days. No such luck. If anything, the plan seemed to backfire as the crowd grew larger and larger with each passing week. By the end of the third week it had tripled in size and he was running out of ideas.

This time he had biscuits imprinted with his face upon them, and maybe, just maybe, they would be distracted enough this time that he could get home without having to take any detours. Yeah. Again he leapt up onto the roof, avoiding the grasping hands of the fangirls, which was more of a token attempt. He was still better than the 'prizes', but they _really_ wanted the items for prestige among the other fangirls. Honestly, he was currency!

"If you're good fangirls," he called out, voice echoing across the rooftop he was standing on, "you'll get biscuits! If you're not," he paused, hearing their indrawn breaths as they waited in anticipation and fear. "No biscuits for you."

"We want the biscuits!" one girl cried out, voice rising high above the other murmurs. "We want the biscuits!" another picked up the rallying cry. "We want the biscuits! We want the biscuits! We want thee biscuits!" A mob, just what he needed. Well, there was only one way to disperse them.

"You want the biscuits? Then go and…" he swung the bag in a circle, working up momentum. "get them!" he released the cloth at the apex of its rotation, watching as it flew high and far above the crowds. Every single pair of eyes followed it, and just as all those times before, the mob prepared to rush off in pursuit of it.

That is, until another voice called out. "Why go after a cheap imitation when you can have the real thing?" Every pair of eyes snapped back to Sasuke who was standing there dumbstruck. No. No, no, no. They couldn't be…"Catch!" Out of nowhere at least thirty pounds of…something, fell onto the boy. He wasn't crushed, far from it, but he was also unable to move out of the way fast enough. The raven was trapped in by piles of…were those shirts with his face emblazoned on them?

"Go and get him!" the voice called merrily, and the fangirls needed no more encouragement. In a squealing swarm, they managed to push _up _the walls of the shop, spilling over the top and therefore over Sasuke and his numerous shirts. Forget the shirts, they wanted _him_. Before the poor boy could react, he was swept up in an embrace and a tugging war began over his body.

Out of the corner of his eye, the Uchiha caught a glance of a smirking figure perched on a lamppost, swinging it's legs happily. Seeing the raven's look, the stranger tipped an imaginary hat in his direction. "Enjoy!" Then Sasuke's view was blocked by the body of yet another fangirl trying to take him as a trophy. _Damn you, whoever you are!_


	298. Avenger

Don't hate me for doing another Sasuke one? I've had this idea in my mind since last night, it started with the origin of the fangirls, but ended up taking off in a different direction. Thank you for all the suggestions a few days ago, I shall certainly get to writing them up soon.

* * *

Avenger

Sasuke looked at his pale face in the mirror that was called his. Large black eyes, black bangs that brushed his forehead, hair sticking up in the back. Automatically he brushed his hand over the top of his head, trying to flatten the rebellious strands just as…_she_ tried, so many times. Ruthlessly, the boy brushed at the liquid that threatened to spill from his eyes. He wouldn't cry, crying was for weaklings, not avengers.

The mirror showed only what had been, not what was. Turning from it with a vicious twist, the Uchiha reached into the weapons pouch he wore, holding sharp kunai that didn't usually belong to an academy student. _Their _kunai. He had practiced for years, and now was the perfect time to use his skills. With three well timed and well placed throws, the kunai pierced the mirror hanging on the wall, and shards of glass shattered on the floor. The boy had expected to feel satisfaction, but instead he felt empty. Just another relic destroyed.

Against his will, a memory flashed before Sasuke's eyes. Itachi, blindfolded, leaping into the air, releasing kunai in all different directions towards targets nailed to various trees, and every weapon seemed as though it would miss. The elder Uchiha turning in midair until he was upside down, releasing another wave that redirected every single kunai so each thudded perfectly into the center of the targets. Skill. Skill the boy…traitor…had used to…

With a snarl, the preadolescent boy stalked out of the room that used to be his. Now it was just a relic of the past, a portal for memories. It had been two weeks, and it was the first day he was going to return to the Academy. Now instead of trying to get good grades for his father, he had a new single-minded purpose. Vengeance. Become strong enough to take vengeance. Anything and everything that did not pertain to that goal was useless and didn't deserve his attention.

The compound was eerily quiet and empty just as it would be for the rest of eternity. Sasuke kept his eyes determinedly fixed on the gate that barred the entrance to the network of buildings he had called home. Not even when he heard the rustle of feathers on a rooftop did he let his gaze stray from the wooden planks painted with the Uchiha clan symbol. He couldn't be sure he wouldn't lose his sanity if he looked to either side.

It was his first time out of the compound since he had been returned from the hospital after being checked over for injuries and mental trauma. The Yamanaka who had examined him had expressed hesitancy about his mental state, but the boy was allowed back anyways. And for the past week he had remained in the largest building, eating, sleeping, thinking.

Now it was time to begin his new existence.

For a moment, when he reached the gate, Sasuke paused just before the main street that ran outside the compound. Both feet still inside the place he had called home; the moment he left, he would be officially putting that life behind him. With a scoff at his own weakness, the raven strode confidently out into Konoha proper.

Out of everything he could have expected to happen – nothing – the squeals that grated against his eardrums weren't it. "He's here!" echoed down the nearly empty street, and a female, she looked to be a late teen, detached herself from a wall and raced towards the preadolescent boy. "Sasuke-kun! I'm so sorry to hear about your family! Let me give you a hug!"

The Uchiha stared at the girl, not registering what she was saying until she was almost upon him, then his reflexes kicked in and the boy shot backwards, desperate to get away from those outstretched reaching arms and cries. It was honestly scary.

Another girl replicated the same maneuver behind him, shouting the same proclamations. Eyes wide, Sasuke darted to the side, watching as both girls stopped and conferred with each other before watching him with wide eyes. "We understand you've been through a terrible time," the first girl announced primly. "But we'll be here for you always, Sasuke-kun! You can bet on it!"

The raven stared at them for another half a minute, during which the two smiled brightly back at him – obsessively – before turning and walking quickly, _not_ running, away from the two creepy girls. He had never had an experience like that, although he had seen girls do similar things to his br – that person. But…

The rest of the trip to the Academy was undisturbed but for the quiet whispers and pitying glances that followed the young boy through the streets. He didn't want their pity. Jamming his hands in his pockets, Sasuke paced down the streets, mind focusing on one thing and one thing only – how to become stronger the fastest.

The schoolyard was filled with children running around, yelling at the top of their lungs, and playing. But the moment the Uchiha stepped into the yard, a hush began to settle over the crowd in a wave, starting at the gate and moving backwards as they all realized the sole survivor of the massacre had arrived. The boys eyed Sasuke, not sure what to think or say, but almost every girl locked onto him as though the raven were a beacon.

"Hn." So many eyes upon him was unnerving, but Sasuke refused to let them see any form of discomfort. Turning away from the crowd, he slouched over to a shaded tree in the corner of the yard, leaning back against it and deliberately keeping his head facing opposite of the other children.

That didn't mean he couldn't hear the whispers.

"I heard his brother killed them all."

"Sasuke-kun is so brave, he stood up to his brother and almost got stabbed!"

"Mom told me he was tortured."

"He must feel so upset, being the only one left. We should go comfort him!" The boy twitched involuntarily at that suggestion, shoulders immediately hunching as though hiding behind a shield. No. They didn't affect him. He was above them, and would prove it by never reacting to anything they said. After all, he was an Uchiha, and the Uchiha were the best in the village.

He was the survivor and the avenger of the Uchiha clan. There wasn't anything they could do to keep him from his path.


	299. Legacy

This one ended up being nearly twice as long as usual, just because I didn't want to break it up into parts. The original idea was from narutofan, I hope it suits.

Also sidenote - I switch terms between boy and man a lot, but they're referring to the same guy. The 'boy' is just because that is how he would seem to Tsunade.

* * *

Legacy

He paced through the streets, desperately trying not to turn his head and gawk like a country boy in a village for the first time. Sure he'd been in some pretty big cities, moving around as they had, but a shinobi village? No, that was a whole different story. Sure there were markets and stalls set up along the roadsides, but there were also genin, chuunin, even jounin walking around as though it was the most normal thing in the world! And he supposed to them it was; but to a stranger from out of town, only used to seeing shinobi when they were hired for missions? It was a completely new experience.

At least his destination was very apparent, looming against the backdrop of five faces carved of stone into a cliffside. Idly, his eyes scanned over the visages, landing on the last one. She was who he was here to see; or at least, she would be able to point him in the right direction. His hand, deep in his pocket, fingered the papers that proved he had permission to be traveling inside the village. It had taken him almost six months to get the pass, after spending nearly ten years tracking down the reputation of an elusive man. Well, he was pretty sure he had the right guy now – no, not pretty sure, positive. It _was_ him.

* * *

Tsunade sighed to herself again, shoving yet another pile of half-done paperwork to the side. All the forms on top had her signature and stamp, but the others…they actually required thinking, and that was something she just didn't feel capable of that day. At least, not without a healthy dose of sake.

Well, since she wasn't supposed to have any meetings for the next few hours and Shizune was working shift at the hospital, maybe she could sneak away for a few well-earned – in her opinion – hours at the hot springs.

Pushing her chair back from the desk, Tsunade strode purposefully across the office and was just at the large doors before she remembered something even more important. Backtracking a little, she stopped next to the painting of her grandfather hanging on the wall, and grinned slightly. It was always funny to her that there was a hollow behind the montage, which she used to store sake. Somehow, she doubted the Shodaime would approve of her methods. Flipping the painting outwards, Tsunade gazed in happiness at the various bottles all lined up nicely by flavor. Maybe she would take some of that special peach sake Jiraiya had brought back for her five years ago from Snow Country…after all, it was time to honor his memory properly.

Just as she reached for the bottle a polite rap sounded out on the door, startling Tsunade out of her sake trance. "What is it?" the blonde snapped, spinning around and nearly slamming her grandfather's portrait back against the wall. She caught it at the last minute, easing the wooden frame the last few inches before scowling at the door. "You better not be here on a medical emergency!" Not that she wouldn't go, of course, but Shizune was supposed to be there to prevent just that.

"No ma'am, I would like to talk with you, if possible," a male's light baritone sounded through the door. "It's rather important."

Eyebrows knitting further and muttering under her breath, Tsunade stalked back to her desk, heels slamming against the floor. "Get in here then, and make it quick!" She _would_ get to the hot springs.

The right-hand wooden door creaked open, revealing a man of slightly taller than average height, broad shoulders, an unassuming face, and…shock white hair. Her eyes were immediately drawn to that hair, a shade she hadn't seen since her great-uncle and…her teammate. "What is it?" she barked, resting one hand on the wooden corner of her desk to mask her unease. "You aren't from Konoha."

"No," the man agreed, extracting one hand from his pocket and holding out a sheaf of his papers. "But I did get clearance to come and see you, Hokage-sama."

Eyes never leaving his face, Tsunade reached and took the papers, leafing through them quickly to see he had indeed been vetted by the ANBU and cleared. "You'd have to do some fast talking to convince them it was important enough to see me personally," she told him, narrowing her gaze on the young man. He seemed to be maybe in his mid to late twenties, and a bit shy.

He dropped his gaze to his feet, one shoe scuffing at the floor slightly. "It is; you see…I think your teammate may have been my father."

"…Come again?" It was taking all her willpower to keep her jaw from dropping, but Tsunade managed somehow. After all, the kid in front of her hadn't just said that…

"I think your teammate Jiraiya was my father."

Yeah, he had just said that. And Jiraiya of all people? Well at least that was more believable than Orochimaru. But still extraordinarily unlikely, for all the toad sage had been a womanizer. "Can you prove this?"

"Well…not exactly." Again that foot scuffed against the floor. "See, mom told me about the white haired man from Konoha who stayed at their inn for almost a year…and then left, and she never saw him again. And my hair…" he tugged self-consciously on a lock of it, then brushed the strands back, "it matches her story. I mean, how many people are born with white hair?"

"Not many…" Tsunade muttered under her breath, too low for him to hear. "You understand I don't believe you, correct? Such a claim is farfetched, and anyone could use it to try and gain some of his fortune."

"I thought of that," he replied earnestly. "I thought you could do a blood test or something, and then I can meet him. Please," his eyes pleaded with hers, looking eerily reminiscent of another young man she used to know, "just try it. If it's wrong, I won't waste any more of your time."

The Hokage closed her eyes for a few seconds, brain racing. From what she could see, his claim may not be as far off as it seemed – at least the physical signs pointed to relation. But anyone could cast a genjutsu or have one cast on them…however, blood didn't lie. And if the boy truly was Jiraiya's son, they couldn't just let him wander around the continent. No, this had to be confirmed or denied now. "Fine. Follow me." Heels clicking against the floor, the blonde woman brushed past the man and out of the office, hearing him fall into step slightly behind.

It was a short trip to the hospital, which was nearly deserted. Small blessings. Shizune wasn't anywhere near the front desk, but the nurse Tsunade stopped along the way informed the Hokage that exam room twelve was open for use. "Follow," the blonde snapped again, and obediently the man followed through the twisting corridors to the sterile white room. "Sit." She pointed authoritatively at the exam table.

Without a word, although with wide eyes as he gazed around at the few pieces of equipment around the perimeter, he did as he was told. It was all far more advanced than he could have pictured, even going to the cities as he had. Then again, a hidden village no doubt had to deal with many more injuries than the common town.

As he had looked around, Tsunade had prepared an iodine swab and three syringes. "I'm going to draw your blood now," she told him, swiping efficiently at the crook of his elbow with the orange-dyed cloth. "It shouldn't hurt." And to his surprise, it didn't, unlike every other time he had blood drawn. He didn't even feel the pinprick of the needle sliding through the skin.

Tsunade worked with the swiftness of a trained professional, drawing all three samples of blood in under a minute and binding up the vein. "It will be at least five days before the blood work can be confirmed," she informed him as she bandaged. "During that time, lodgings will be provided for you, meals are your own to get. Understood?"

He nodded, eyes fixated on the blood that would confirm or deny the stories he had heard all his life.

* * *

Tsunade buried her head in her hands, staring down at the charts that – once again – confirmed that boy to be Jiraiya's son. She had run the tests herself, five times to be sure. Each time, the answer was clear. Somehow, someway, Jiraiya had sired a kid. If he was around, she guessed, he would either be laughing at the great joke or heading for the hills. Probably the latter, although he had eventually matured a tiny bit.

"Bring him in," she called in a low voice to the ANBU standing by her doorway, awaiting instructions. When the man entered her office half a minute later, she was sitting professionally at her desk instead of hunched over the results, hands clasped in front of her.

"The results have been completed," she began, not missing the hopeful anticipation on the boy's face. "And the tests all say…you are indeed Jiraiya's son." Her mouth twisted into a wry smile against her will. "Kid, you've got to be the biggest improbability to ever exist."

"I am?" He looked as though Christmas had come early, and felt as though the joy inside his body couldn't be contained. His mother _hadn't _been lying! He finally knew who his father was for certain! And now... "When can I meet him?" He was unprepared for the way the Hokage's face closed off, and the flash of pain in her eyes.

"You don't know?" For all the order barking the woman had done recently, her now too gentle voice was scaring him.

"Know what?" His eyes searched for any explanation behind the quickly masked sorrow and pity that flashed across her face.

"There's no easy way to say this." Again with that too gentle voice. "Jiraiya has been dead for three years now."

What? No, she hadn't just said that. He finally knew who his father was, and he wouldn't even get to meet the man? He stumbled backwards one step before regaining his composure and standing straight once more. "I…see. I am sorry for your loss." Because it was her loss more than his, as if the stories were true, she had known Jiraiya for nearly fifty years.

"If you wish, you may stay in Konoha for two months, and live at his apartment," Tsunade spoke up, and that _wasn't_ a catch in her voice. "It belongs to you by right now."

"I would like that," he replied formally, bowing once to the Hokage. "If you might excuse me?" Without waiting for her acknowledgement, he turned and left the room, that telltale white hair brushing against his collar.

After the boy had left, Tsunade collapsed back in her chair, losing the persona of the strong Hokage. The past five days had opened up emotional wounds that had never truly closed, but for once it wasn't just hers. A boy who never knew his father, and now it was too late. Her heart went out to him as it so rarely did, battle-hardened as she was. What was that line, 'better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all'? Well she wasn't sure it was true, but it damned well hurt as much either way.


	300. Those Days

So, guess what this is? The 300th drabble! Yay for another landmark! And we're almost to 300,000 words as well, I can't wait! I have a feeling I'm going to break 1000 pages before this is through.

A huge huge huge thank you goes to Addster for thinking up this magnificent topic for this 'momentous occasion', it's perfect!

* * *

Those Days

Jiraiya leaned back against the lone tree on top of the hill, feeling the weariness in his bones. He had forgotten just how much energy it took to train a kid, and they were only halfway through their allotted two years.

Naruto was convinced he had gone off 'researching' again, so the brat wouldn't expect him back until at least the next morning. He hadn't done anything to correct the assumption, instead taking the uninterrupted time for some musings of times gone by.

It was more years now than he liked to count. So long ago they had been a team, as close as the three leaves of a clover.

He didn't sigh, that wouldn't be manly, but he did release a slow breath as he tilted his head to look up at the sky. So many stars danced up there, and the darkness was clear of clouds to leave their brilliance unobstructed. So many times they had stared up at the sky together…

_Sarutobi-sensei had already left their training field for the day – closer to dusk in fact – but they hadn't. Instead, the three of them had sparred a little longer, enjoying the freedom of the movement in the crisp night air, no holds barred and no alliances._

_Afterward, they hadn't separated to go home. No, the three had instead decided to just collapse on the grass in a circle, feet pointing outwards and heads almost touching as their arms stretched to the sides. It was a pretty common experience for all of them, just enjoying being in each other's' presence after a grueling day._

_For a time they had been quiet, staring up at the stars. Jiraiya had felt as though he was falling into the never ending light speckled darkness, until a low voice brought him back._

_Orochimaru was talking about the stars and their stories, myths that he had read in scrolls all those times in the library, on his right, and Tsunade was actually quiet and listening attentively on his left. _

_That had been how a team was supposed to be, _Jiraiya mused to himself, head still tilted back to look up at the stars. Just them and the world, and nothing could break them. He reached a hand up towards the stars.

* * *

Tsunade leaned back against the cliffside above the head of the Sandaime Hokage. It was a rare day, all the work done in a quiet day at the office. It afforded her the time to escape and think at night, when Shizune wasn't looking to pester her, no late meetings, and no hospital emergencies.

The sky above was brilliant in its clearness, the light of the stars shining down on the village below, only emphasized by the moon. Her fingers tapped to a non-existent beat as she gazed up at it, feeling a rhythm only she could sense. Over the rocky crest that made up the top of her sensei's head she could see the wide field, always overgrown with grasses, that bordered the river cutting through Konoha.

A bittersweet smile touched her lips. She remembered those days of the past, when the sun played warm across the grasses and the laughter of three children echoed, carefree.

_She grabbed for both of their hands, laughing when the two gave similar exclamations of disgust, but completed the circle anyways. Pulling to the right, she began to walk, then to run and they did the same, her ponytail being pulled out behind her by the wind and Orochimaru's long black hair whipping around his face._

_Jiraiya couldn't stop laughing at Orochimaru's tsk of irritation, laughing even as he tripped over his own feet and fell backwards breaking the circle. He was immediately pulled back up by Tsunade and Orochimaru grabbing his still upstretched hands and the circle began anew._

_Spin and spin and spin and spin, leaning backwards against the pull as they ran, facing each other and seeing only the other two faces as the surroundings blurred behind them, testing their balance to the limits until they all fell out and backwards from the strain, laughing too hard to keep their grip._

_The sun drenching the field warmed right into their skin and bones as well where each lay sprawled, bantering back and forth._

The days of being a happy child with two great friends and teammates who knew her inside and out. They were so long ago, but seemed to be just yesterday as well. And just in contrast to those sunlit days was the nighttime, holding the whispers of secrets and promises.

The tear trickling down her cheek sparkled in the starlight.

* * *

Orochimaru paced down the dark corridors of his lair, the muted lights on the wall doing little to improve sight. He didn't want to see, instead preferring the darkness that cloaked so much of his life now. The rock walls and dripping water that sometimes pervaded them reminded him of the sewers he used to frequent in Konoha. He both exulted in and loathed those days, when he was just beginning his great work and seeing its potential, but at the same time pushing his team away.

Hiruzen's shocked face appeared in front of the Sannin's eyes, disgust and sadness mixing on the wise features. That had been the last expression Orochimaru saw from his sensei, but what overrode it all was the disappointment. As he moved his hand to brush the image away, the elder man's face was replaced with a much younger one, framed by a nimbus of white hair. The expression was eager and Orochimaru remembered the first time he had seen that particular look.

_They had just graduated and been formed as a team, so of course he had to tell them where he lived. But he had never expected to two outgoing six year olds to show up at his door and grin._

_Jiraiya was the first to move, reaching out and grabbing hold of the orphans arm, tugging at it insistently. When Orochimaru didn't move Tsunade joined in as well, taking hold of the other arm and helping to tow the raven outside. _

_He saw the boy's expression as though he were an outside observer, looking down at the three children from afar. On the young orphan's visage there was a touch of a smile, out of place for a face that had been somber for so long. Even when they were outside the orphanage the other two didn't let go, and that smile grew a little more._

_The scene flashed and they were sitting around a campfire, shadows playing over the four people in a circle around it. Tsunade was throwing water on something she had been trying to cook while yelling at Jiraiya, who had fallen off the log he was sitting on and rolled on the ground laughing. The raven was laughing too, not as loud or demonstratively, but definitely laughing. _

_It was late at night and the boy was perched in a tree with the stars shining down upon him, keeping watch over the camp. Below he heard the snores-that-weren't-really-snores from his white-haired teammate as well as the little snuffles Tsunade made, and a gentle smile touched his lips._

Orochimaru couldn't remember smiling as a child, but there had been an innocence in those looks that couldn't be anything but truth. It had been so long, and he so withdrawn from the world after severing all ties…

He felt that tugging from the memory at his hands again, trying to pull him through the corridor. The Sannin followed it, walking the well-known twists and turns until he arrived at a little-used passage – the way outside. When he stopped, the tugging became more insistent just as it had all those years ago.

Orochimaru moved to the end of the corridor, pushing open the door that hid the entrance to his complex, and stepped out into the cool night. The moment he did, the tugging stopped and he tilted his head to look up at the stars that shown down, just as they had all those years ago upon his team, back when they had all been one.

* * *

Thunder rolled in the distance as the clouds, masking the light of the stars, moved in to cover up the clear sky. The thunder echoed again and those days were gone, never to return.

Jiraiya lowered his outstretched hand.

Tsunade wiped the lone tear from her cheek.

Orochimaru turned to go back inside.

Those days were gone.


	301. Bets

My sleep cycle is getting absurdly self-destructive. That aside, I can't wait til break! And this chapter makes 300k words! Woot!

This idea was from watermoona, hope it suits!

* * *

Bets

Tsunade stood on one side of the poor couple, and Jiraiya on the other, each brandishing fingers at each other and then at the subject of their attentions.

"I'm telling you, it's going to be a boy with blond hair! You can't tell me that isn't genetic!" Jiraiya exclaimed, frustrated with his teammate. "First Minato, then Naruto, there's no way this kid won't have blond hair!"

"And I'm telling you genetics says otherwise," Tsunade shot back. "Blond is recessive, baka, just as your albino white is!" Immediately Jiraiya's hands moved to his hair in indignation. "The Hyuuga's don't have a blonde anywhere in their line, it just won't happen!"

"You don't know that," Jiraiya stuck his chin out mulishly and crossed both arms over his chest. "If people can be born with pink hair anything can happen!"

The Hokage rolled her eyes, exasperated. "Fine. You know what? We'll place a _bet_." She didn't miss the excited way her teammate's eyes lit up at the prospect. "And," she held up a warning finger, "nothing that can't be delivered, because _I'm going to win_." She ignored Jiraiya's incredulous snort.

"Now hold on a second, baa-chan…" Naruto spoke up from where he was standing next to his wife, both heads moving back and forth as though they were watching a tennis match. "You can't just bet on what the kid is going to _look_ like. I mean, that's been set in stone for nearly nine months now."

The wolfish grin she sent the man did nothing for his nerves. "That just makes it better. It means _he_ can't cheat."

Jiraiya affected a wounded posture, one hand on his chest and his face a mask of disbelief. "Me? You're accusing me of cheating? Why, I'm offended!"

Tsunade jabbed him in the stomach with an elbow and he deflated. "The past tells no lies, baka. I remember the chicken egg bet…"

"Hey, you never said they couldn't be hardboiled!" the white haired man defended himself, but she wasn't having any of it.

"A bet is a bet, and you better honor the terms of this one, got it?" A gleam entered her eye. "Or I'll put pervert alarms around the hot springs."

The toad sage rolled his eyes at the threat, but held out his hand. "Deal. Shake on it." Without hesitation Tsunade stuck out her own hand, shaking firmly once up and down. "Sealed. Now, the terms."

"Hair color," Tsunade told him immediately, "and eye color, and gender."

"Bloodline too," Jiraiya countered, staring at Hinata as though he could see right through her. The Hyuuga heiress colored slightly until the man's intense gaze moved restlessly around the room. Alighting on Naruto, something gave him pause. "Kyuubi?"

Tsunade didn't miss a beat. "Shouldn't affect the infant at all, Minato knew what he was doing. We did enough tests too, there's no sign of the Kyuubi's chakra anywhere."

"Fine. Your bet?" Out of his pocket Jiraiya pulled a notebook and pen, two things he always kept on his person, and looked expectantly at Tsunade, hand poised to write.

"Oh no you don't, how do I know you'll record it correctly?" Tsunade glared at the man, suspicious.

"Oh for…"

"I'll do it," Naruto interjected, smoothly reaching forward and pulling both journal and pen from his sensei's hands. "Unbiased."

Mollified, Tsunade began. "Black hair, blue eyes, female. Date and time as well?" She looked expectantly at Jiraiya, and he gave an affirming nod. "Closest wins. Twelve days from now, nighttime."

Naruto dutifully recorded each of her guesses, then turned to Jiraiya. "You?"

"Blond hair, blue eyes, female," Jiraiya grinned at his student when Naruto made a sound of dismay. "Ten days, morning."

"Aw, c'mon, why don't you guys think it'll be a boy?" Naruto mock-pouted, scribbling down Jiraiya's choices as well. His pen stayed a little longer on the paper than necessary. "I'm not going to be outnumbered!"

"Kid, this is you we're talking about," Jiraiya laughed, then couldn't help the guffaw that escaped him at the irate look on Naruto's face. "But hey, we'll have our answers soon."

"Stakes?"

Jiraiya stepped closer and whispered something in Tsunade's ear, too low for the couple to hear. Whatever it was, she nodded a few times then looked at the 'bookkeeper'. "Agreed."

"Signed and witnessed," Naruto announced, snapping the book closed. "I vote Hinata gets care of it to make sure you two don't cheat."

* * *

"I don't believe it…" Tsunade said slowly, looking down at the tiny bundle in the new mother's arms. "The improbability…"

Jiraiya couldn't wipe the smirk off his face. Yeah he had been wrong too, but it was worth it to see Tsunade stumped. "Well since neither of us got it right, who wins?" he asked, looking at Hinata. "Where's the book?"

"Whoever got closest," Tsunade remarked absently as she searched the nightstand Hinata indicated. "Here we go." She flipped it open to the page they had recorded their bets on a few weeks ago…and stared. "That double-crossing underhanded…"

"What?" Jiraiya snatched the notebook from her hands. "He didn't."

"He did."

"Did he win then?"

"He wasn't part of the bet originally…"

"But it's right here, and he's completely right. Signed and witnessed."

Tsunade shook her head. "At least we never told him what the stakes were. Imagine if he tried to claim them…"

Jiraiya shuddered. "We'd never hear the end of it."


	302. Oldtimers

Eheheheh...I plead insanity defense? Now for the exam I have in 5 hours...Anyway, thanks to Kaiser969 for the ideas!

* * *

Oldtimers

She had finally relented to time, allowing her body to age with the seasons and her hair to turn white as snow, and as white as his. She had more wrinkles now, enough that she was no longer immediately recognizable as the Hokage who's face had been carved into the mountain all those years ago.

But hey, she hadn't lost _all_ her vanity. She still used her constant genjutsu, just at a much lower rate. Besides, it was so much fun to mess with the children.

They had become accustomed to taking long walks through the village together, not necessarily talking – or ogling – but just enjoying being surrounded by people who didn't stop and stare every time they passed by, and didn't run up begging for her to fix this problem or that. Now that was Naruto's burden to bear, and she relished the freedom.

A group of children ran by the two Sannin, boasting about how each of them could climb the big tree the fastest and _they_ would win. Jiraiya just let the conversation wash over him as always until one of them mentioned that he could "climb the tree faster than Ero-sennin!"

As always, he winced at the name Naruto had so kindly bestowed upon him, and all of the children had picked up as a nickname for the great shinobi. Such an ignoble passing of time…

"Jiraiya, don't do it," Tsunade turned her head to look at the man next to her. A smirk was growing on his face, and she knew exactly what that meant. "Remember? You're _old_ now."

The grin on his face when he faced her was full of glee. "Aw, c'mon, it'll be fun!" For all he was a couple decades older, more around Sarutobi-sensei's age towards the end of his life, Jiraiya could move _fast_.

"Hey, gaki," the white-haired man called out, catching up to the children just as they reached the tree.

The tallest of the five turned to face him, arms crossed and a sneer on his face when he saw the old man walking towards them. "Yeah? What you want grandpa?"

Jiraiya brushed off the boy's attitude like water, moving forward until he was level with the tree. "You say you can climb as fast as Jiraiya?"

"What's it to ya?"

"Just wondering…" Jiraiya leaned back against the tree nonchalantly, folding his arms loosely. "Can you prove it?"

"Hey, I don't gotta prove nothing to you," the boy countered, sending a quick glance back at his friends before facing Jiraiya again. Then almost as an afterthought, he added "I can climb faster."

"Oh? Tell you what…" Jiraiya pushed his body away from the tree, feeling his bones protest the movement slightly. "I'll race you up the tree, and if you beat me, I'll believe you. Deal?"

"Oh for the love of…" Tsunade muttered to herself, finally reaching the tree as well. "When are you going to stop this nonsense?" she asked her teammate, raising an eyebrow at the man.

He sent her a grin full of mischief. "When I can't stand up of course."

The kid stared at Jiraiya for a second, then began to laugh. "What, you? Climb this tree? Come on grandpa, I bet you can't handle the stairs, let alone this." He patted the tree proprietorially.

"That's a shame, I was going to put up some nice stakes too," Jiraiya trailed off artistically. "And if you won't race an old man up a tree, you're really a coward. But if you don't want to I guess I'll…"

"Fine," the boy snapped, looking behind again at his friends who were clustered a few feet away. "I'll race you, and when I win you have to tell the whole village I'm faster than Jiraiya, the greatest shinobi ever!"

Jiraiya's smirk grew at that declaration, and Tsunade had to stifle a snort. Honestly, the man's ego was huge and kept getting fed. "You got yourself a deal kid. And to top it off," he paused for dramatic effect, "I'll climb it without my hands."

"C'mon old man, stop trying to show off!"

"What, you don't believe I can do it? Those are the stakes, take it or leave it."

The kid rolled his eyes. "Fine, you're loss."

"On the count of three then," Tsunade interjected, sending a warning glance at Jiraiya. He winked in response. She waited until both had readied themselves, the other boys standing further back, and raised her hand. "Three, two, one, mark!"

It wasn't even a contest. Jiraiya waited until the boy had climbed about two branches up, then nonchalantly walked forward and began up the tree as easily as though he were walking on the ground. Time hadn't dulled his skills.

Apparently the bragger hadn't seen a shinobi up close, for he faltered in his climbing ad stared as Jiraiya walked right past him on the way up, turned around, and began back down again. The white haired man even sent him a two fingered salute as he passed by. "Guess you can't beat Jiraiya after all, kid."

The boy straddled the branch he had stopped on and glared. "That's cheating! Jiraiya wouldn't cheat like that!"

The Sannin let out a bark of laughter. "Oh? I'm sure he would."

"You don't know that!"

"Actually gaki, I do. I'm Jiraiya." He revealed it with a flourish as though the fact were the greatest secret ever known.

Silence met his statement.

"No you ain't! Jiraiya's tall and huge and goes around on a huge toad! Tou-san said so!"

"I think I'd know my own name, gaki."

"You ain't him! Besides he always goes around with the Godaime!"

Tsunade cocked an eyebrow. "And what am I then?"

"An old hag!"

Oh that did it. Her fists clenched tight as she felt her chakra bubbling up inside, just ready to be released. Jiraiya began to edge away. "What as that, gaki?"

"I said you ain't the Godaime, you're too old! She's young and pretty and – "

_Crack_. Tsunade had whipped around and slammed her fist into the tree trunk, creating a large split that travelled the length of the trunk and jostled the kid so hard he had to cling to the branch he was on.

She slowly pulled back her fist, examining the knuckles as though what she had done wasn't at all out of the ordinary as she heard a whimper from above. "Would you like to rephrase that, gaki?" He mutely nodded his head, still clutching onto the branch for dear life.

From behind Tsunade heard a laugh. "C'mon, baa-chan, stop showing off to the poor kids. I think you've scared them enough for one day."

Grinning, the Godaime turned to face the teenager standing in the road. "You think? Blame Jiraiya, he's the one that started it."

Another laugh. "Yeah, that's what you said last time. Don't forget, tou-san said if you damage any buildings this time you have to pay for it yourself."

"Get on with you," Tsunade rolled her eyes. "I'm done here anyway. Jiraiya, stop cringing I'm not going to hit you."

With that the two walked away, leaving five awestruck and slightly terrified boys in their wake.

Who knew getting old could be so fun?


	303. Circles Within

This was an interesting idea I was pondering over a few days ago, existential stuffs. Makes my head hurt. ^^; Reasons why I'm not a Philosophy major...thanks to freewolf17 for helping me to organize it.

* * *

Circles Within

"Are you ready for this?"

Jiraiya turned his head slightly to look at the woman who was grinning at him, a competitive edge to her expression. "Only if you're ready to lose," he countered, hands tightening around the plastic controller.

She scoffed. "Oh, please. Let the record speak for itself, twenty-five to two."

"The first thirteen of those were because I walked into a bomb!"

"You should have learned after the first two then. _It never moved_."

"Yeah, well…" he had no response to that. "Just start!"

Tsunade stuck her tongue out at him for a second before acquiescing and pushing the start button, and the countdown on the screen began.

* * *

She bowed to her sparring partner, brown hair flowing around her face from her high ponytail. He did likewise, long-ish hair brushing his collar and flopping into his eyes. Straightening, they both gave a nod and paused for a second, each gathering their wits.

It was as though a countdown sounded inside their heads. Three, two one…go!

She moved first, launching into a kick at his stomach, coupled with a punch at his abdomen. He leapt backwards with impeccable timing, barely missing he swipe of her foot and ducking under her extended arm. Pushing off the ground as he landed, her opponent managed to get a punch into her diaphragm, knocking her backwards.

The next few moves passed in a flurry of blows, each trying to land a hit that would make their opponent hesitate and create an opening. No such luck. The two separated again, circling each other with wary eyes.

He feinted, she jumped into the air and launched kunai that flew over his head. As she fell back to the ground, he rushed forward in an attempt to catch her off guard, only for her to flip backwards in midair and shoot downwards for a kick. It sent him sprawling into the dirt.

She tried to follow up, but her attack was deflected by a kunai spearing towards her head as he pushed himself off the ground and moved backwards, again putting distance between the two opponents.

A clone popped up behind her and grabbed her arms, immobilizing her as he ran forward. One, three, four strikes to her stomach before she was able to wrest free, dispelling the clone with a vicious kick backwards. Inside her body, she could feel the power tingling and growing with each hit she landed. Almost there…

Running forward she got a lucky punch off before he hit her two times again, and then they were both glowing. Again circling, more wary than the last time now that they knew this was the deciding factor. Whoever got this attack off was the winner.

She feinted and he moved.

Running forward he sent a punch laden with power spinning towards her head even as a clone kicked from her right side. With a tilt of her head, the punch missed, grazing past her ear, and he was done for.

She grabbed his arm, popping him up into the air with some pressure on the limb and shooting up after. Appear on his other side, kick. Again put on a burst of speed, and kick him back in the opposite direction. He flew through the air, unable to defend or block because of the speeds as she played with him like a ping pong ball, moving around and around and not touching the ground until she was sure he couldn't move.

When he landed on the ground, sprawling on his back in the dirt, she landed just above him, crouched, and with her fist pointed straight at his throat.

"I yield.

* * *

"Make that twenty-six to two," Tsunade announced smugly as Jiraiya threw his controller across the room, as far as the wire would allow. "You really suck at this."

"It's not my fault you play it obsessively day and night! No wonder you're better than me!"

"This is my third time," she countered, smirking at him. "Sorry to burst your ego. Naruto tells me you lose to him too."

"Grah!" Throwing his hands into the air, Jiraiya stormed around the perimeter of the room, occasionally stopping to glare at the television scream brightly proclaiming Tsunade's win. The blonde woman fell backwards onto the floor, laughing at his childish behavior.

"You know what?" the white-haired man finally proclaimed, pointing a finger at the blonde. "We'll settle this the right way! Video games are based on luck, a _true_ duel is based on skill."

Tsunade sat up off the floor, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. "You saying you can beat me in a spar now?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"You're on then." In a fluid movement she was off the floor and leading the way to the door. "Rules?" she called back over her shoulder.

"Same as usual."

"Excellent."

They stood facing each other in the clearing. She bowed to her sparring partner, blonde hair falling around her face. He did likewise, spiky white hair falling into his eyes.

* * *

She turned to her friend, a grin on her face as her hands tightened around the controller. Her favorite character was the blonde, something about her just clicked. "You ready?"

He grinned back, equally as cocky. He was almost unbeatable with the white-haired man. "You're on."


	304. Clue

Honest to god crack fic. Sorry if the dialogue gets a bit confusing at points ^^;

* * *

Clue

"I say it was…Mr. Green in the dining room with the candlestick," Jiraiya announced, consulting his sheet and hand once more. "C'mon, I dare you to prove me wrong."

To his left, Sakura examined her own hand. "I'll take that dare. You two, shut your eyes," she told the two blondes at the table, leveling a stern glare at both of them. "No cheating."

"Aw, come on Sakura-chan, I can't believe you think I'd stoop that low," Naruto complained, pouting at his teammate. "Me!"

"Especially you," she countered. "Shishou, don't think you get out of this either!" Tsunade rolled her eyes pointedly turning her head to the side. "Naruto?"

"Fine, fine…"

"And no kage bunshin either!"

"Aw, come on!"

"Can I just get my clue?" Jiraiya interrupted, rolling his eyes. "It's not like this is the Chuunin exams."

"Hey, our lives could depend on knowing what's on that card," Naruto countered, hands firmly clasped over his eyes as Sakura shared her clue with Jiraiya.

"Gaki, if your life depends on this you're dead," Jiraiya rolled his eyes, marking the item off on his paper.

"Oh so it's a weapon then," Tsunade grinned.

"I never said that!"

"You implied it."

"You can't just – Sakura, go."

With a long suffering sigh, the pinkette did as she was bid, scooping up the two dice and casting them to the table. "Seven, I think I'll go to the library. And…" she cast a glance around the table, settling on a face. "It was Mr. Green in the library with the candlestick."

"Why is it always me!"

"Oh, I don't know Naruto, you're just suspicious and know a hundred ways to kill someone."

"Yeah, well you know more!"

"Ah, but nobody would believe it's _me_. How could they say that to this face?"

"That's disgusting."

"Sakura, why did you say the candlestick as well?" Tsunade frowned at her cards, then up at the pinkette.

"That would be telling."

"I _told_ you it wasn't a weapon!" Jiraiya crowed.

"She could be trying to throw us off the trail."

"Is one of you going to prove me wrong or not?" Sakura interrupted, looking pointedly at Naruto sitting next to her.

He raised his hands defensively. "I can't."

Tsunade scowled. "Me either."

"Leave it to the gallant Jiraiya to foil the sinister plots! I have, in my hand, the one card that – "

"Get on with it, baka."

He sent Tsunade a wounded look. "That's not a nice way to talk to someone who's saving the game." Her narrowed eyes had him reaching for his hand. "Fine, fine…close your eyes."

"This is stupid, we all have morals," Tsunade muttered even as she placed a hand over her eyes. "Honestly."

"Oh?" Sakura jabbed an elbow backwards and there was an audible pop as a clone dispersed. "Naruto, what did I say about the kage bunshin?"

"But that was only last time!"

"New rule – no kage bunshin for the rest of the game."

"Not fair!"

"Why not?"

"Because…because…Ero-sennin can use his toads!"

The other three players all stared at him. "Really?" Jiraiya asked, incredulous. "That's the best you got? I thought I trained you better." Naruto had the grace to look abashed.

Tsunade scooped up the dice, rolling to forestall any more comments. "Snake eyes. I'm staying right here." She was residing in the study, surrounded by various weapons. "I choose Mrs. White with the wrench."

"Where?"

The blonde rolled her eyes. "In the study, baka. Just like I have for the past three times."

"How do you kill someone with a wrench anyways?" Naruto asked, thoughtful. "You can hit them on the head…"

"Crush their throat?" Jiraiya suggested. "But you'd have to close it really fast."

"Break their neck?" Sakura pondered, setting down her hand. "If you swung hard enough…"

"Doesn't work."

"How do you know this?" Jiraiya accused, staring at his teammate. "It's not like you tried it."

"How do you know I didn't?" She grinned at his involuntary shudder. "So can anyone prove me wrong? Anyone? Any…one?" She trailed off as the others all looked at each other uncomfortably. "No one, really? Does that mean I won?"

"No, you have to accuse not guess to win," Sakura, the ever knowledgeable, informed her. "So technically…any of us can use that guess and win." A dark scowl lit the features of the Hokage, even as a brilliant smile spread over Naruto's.

"That's not fair at all, it's my guess!"

"It's not like you copyrighted it."

"Who's to say I didn't?"

"The game."

"No fair I lost!" Jiraiya exclaimed, and Sakura's hand slammed into her forehead.

"Naruto, just go."

Obediently, and gleefully, the blond scooped up the dice and rolled. "_Two?_ I can't get to the study with two!"

Tsunade's smile wasn't at all nice. "Guess you can't win then."

"My turn!" Jiraiya stole the dice from a protesting Naruto, and rolled. "Eight! I think I'll pay a visit to the study." With exaggerated movements he brought his piece over to the room and paused to smirk at Tsunade. "I'd like to accuse…Mrs. White, with the wrench, in the study!"

"Now you get to look at the file and if you're right you win, but if you're wrong you're out of the game," Sakura informed him, sliding the envelope over.

"Oh, I'm going to win."

"Are you so sure about that?" Tsunade asked sweetly.

"Wait. I'd like to…"

"Too late, you have to look!"

"But – "

"Rules."

Swallowing, Jiraiya pulled the three cards out of the envelope and scowled. "Wrong! You tricked me!"

"It's the name of the game," Tsunade replied smugly. "You took the bait." With a disgusted huff, Jiraiya slid the cards back in and crossed his arms.

"My turn then…" Sakura rolled and got a three, which she used to travel partially to the hall. "Your turn shishou."

"I'd like to make an accusation," Tsunade announced grandly.

"What?"

"Not fair!"

"Everything's fair in Clue and war. I'd like to say it was Mrs. White, with the rope, in the study. And," in one grandiose gesture she emptied the envelope and fanned out the cards, "I'm right!"

"She cheated!"

"No, she lied."

"I didn't lie, I just manipulated! It's not my fault you believed me."

"That means you lied!"

"No, it means _you believed me_. Stop making excuses for your own stupidity."

Sakura sat back and watched as the three other players squabbled back and forth. "I wonder what it would be like with Monopoly…?"


	305. Forgotten

Addster's idea, hope it suits. (And sorry it was late)

* * *

Forgotten

It was just a normal day. An ordinary, boring, normal day. So maybe she was a bit brusque to everyone, and maybe a bit sharper than she should be, but damn it, she was the Hokage and she could act however she wanted. Because it was a normal day.

"Tsunade-sama, there are three new submissions…" Shizune trailed off as she took in her mentor's narrowed eyes and pursed lips. It was rare for the Hokage to be _this_ angry; irritated or pissed off, yes, but purely angry without a reason? It scared her. Tsunade on a rampage was never a force she wanted to deal with in the first place, but this version…

"Well? Get on with it," Tsunade snapped when Shizune had been quiet for more than a second. "I don't have all day." As though to prove her point the blonde shuffled the papers on her desk pointedly.

The raven flinched at the tone and looked down at the papers in her hand. They were shaking just the tiniest bit, nearly invisible tremors. She _hated_ being scared of Tsunade. "The clan heads sent in the files you requested." Shizune stepped closer to the desk, holding out the stacks of papers. "They –"

Tsunade cut her off by snatching the files and slamming them down on the desk. "Is that it? Then I'm sure you have important work to do. Go."

Shizune flinched again and her dark eyes opened wide, staring at her mentor in shock and hurt. Without another word she scurried out of the room, leaving the blonde alone with her bad temper.

Tsunade growled to herself and pushed the stacks of papers around on her desks, nearly making one tip off the edge. Slamming her hand down on it before it could scatter and make a mess on her floor, the Hokage scowled and pushed back from the desk to go stand at the window. The world outside her office was far too sunny, with little birds chirping happily and people moving around in a bustle on the streets below.

With a snarl she turned away, pacing into the darker recesses of her office. Her bad mood had a reason, but she wouldn't – refused to – think of it until the day was over. Because anger was better than _that_, and it kept everyone away and terrified. So she would stay angry, and woe be to anyone who got in her path.

With a very muted punch that nonetheless shook the walls of her office, Tsunade sat down to tear her paperwork apart.

The hours passed by in a flurry of muttered curses and angry slashes of the pen, and it was nearly five before Tsunade realized no one else had come in to disturb her and provide an outlet for her wrath. Shizune must have warned them. Scowling even harder, Tsunade buried herself in an attempt to forget the world until it was dark.

* * *

The stars were all shining brightly by the time Tsunade left the Hokage Tower. She had cut a swath through the paperwork that had built up over the past few weeks, and now her desk was clear of the overload. At least she could do something productive, a fact no doubt _he _would get a kick out of.

She had forgotten.

How could she have forgotten? Even when she was a drunk traveling on her own, she had always managed to remember that one day and give a small toast in recognition. But not this year. No this year the day had passed by in a flurry of meetings and mission briefings, until she had realized this morning as her heart clenched in shock and sorrow.

There was a saying that the dead weren't truly gone until they were forgotten, and she had sworn to never forget. So it wasn't anger that consumed her but rather self-loathing, and she wanted everybody to just _leave her alone_. At least that part of her day had worked out.

Tonight she would try to make it up to him the best she could, and she hoped that he accepted it.

Her rooms were dark when she arrived and she didn't bother turning on the light, preferring to make her way through the blackness to the window where moonlight was shining onto the carpet. Before leaving that morning she had set out a few items, placing them on the seat in front of the window. Now she grabbed them up, opening the window so she could sit half out of it and stare up at the sky unobstructed.

Her fingers fumbled for the matches as she held the candle between her knees, trying to get a flame. It took a couple tries but she got the candle lit, shielding it's light from the tendrils of wind that drifted on the night air. "You said you'd be here forever…" she began, staring at the small flame where it clung with tenacity to the wick. "But you aren't. And I'm sorry I forgot, you'd probably sic Bunta on me or something…" She gave a small laugh. "But you aren't forgotten. Happy birthday Jiraiya."

She bent down and blew the candle out, watching the small trail of smoke be carried up to the heavens by the wind.


	306. Itinerary

Thanks again to Addster for the idea, I wrote it a bit strange, kind of like how I would write procedure for a science lab. Also, as of this drabble, I have officially broken the average of 1k words per chapter! And this is considering the first few are around 300-500 words ^^

* * *

Itinerary

8:16.

Walk into Tsunade-sama's rooms and throw the curtains wide open, letting sunlight fall on the bed. Ignore the muffled curses and groans emanating from the comforter as the light hits. Take note of the hiss as a new reaction, but don't say anything.

8:30.

Try to wake Tsunade-sama up, _again_, and remind her of the very important meeting she had with Hyuuga Hiashi and Inuzuka Tsume. Not a pleasant prospect to look forward to on the best of mornings, and this one definitely didn't qualify. Dodge the pillow thrown at her head, as well as the sake-laced coffee nearly hurled at her face until Tsunade got a whiff of the beverage. Quickly leave the room before the blonde decides of more ways to try to weasel her way out of the meeting.

9:00.

Make excuses for the Hokage to both Hyuuga Hiashi and Inuzuka Tsume, try to avoid the man's cold glare and biting tone as Tsume baits him. Escape before either of the leaders decide to take the absence out on her. Find Tsunade still in her rooms, rubbing at bleary eyes and mostly dressed. Yell at her to get a move on because there is important business to be done and it _won't wait around all day. _Try to shrug off the intense scowl and promise of later retribution aimed in her direction while dragging her mentor out the door.

9:42.

Knock cautiously on the door to the Hokage's office with a stack of papers in hand. Try to ignore the very real killing intent seeping out from behind the door. Open slowly and wince as an empty sake bottle shatters on the doorframe next to her. It isn't a good day at all, not if there's already an empty bottle. And that means she wasn't able to find all of the stashes the day before. It's going to be a late night.

11:34.

Work her shift in the hospital far away from any other people, scrubbing viciously at the floor while repeating a litany of curses against Tsunade-sama, including how she takes everything for granted, is a no-good sake-drinking slacker, and is obviously a vampire who no doubt would love to suck her blood. Wonder where that idea came from, then disregard it as the imaginings of an overwrought mind. Only stop after noticing the floor shines like a mirror and she's almost late for her next shift at the office.

4:56.

Walk into the office with yet another three stacks of paperwork to find Tsunade curled up on the floor in the fetal position, whimpering. Immediately drop the paperwork so it scatters everywhere and rush to her side, begging to know what's wrong. Almost slam her own head into the floor when told there's too much paperwork, and it's all submitted by Jiraiya-sama for a law banning gender-segregated hot springs. Suppress the desire to hunt down the toad sage and burn him alive for creating more work. Assure Tsunade-sama she'll get it taken care of immediately and help the blonde woman up from the floor.

5:12.

Curse Jiraiya for all the work that has to be fixed, vow to make him do it next time. Or Naruto, because the other half of the paperwork is for a new ramen stand called 'Gama-chan'. Don't the two have anything better to do than make more work? Apparently not. Suggest to Tsunade-sama that they should both be put on the Tora mission.

5:15.

Walk back into the office to find Tsunade secreting another bottle of sake behind her desk. Demand the alcohol and receive a petulant 'no'. Rub temples to attempt to alleviate the pain building there and fail. Explain to Tsunade-sama – again – that she cannot go into a meeting with the elders with alcohol on her breath. Receive a long-winded and very thought out line of reasoning on why it's not only feasible, it's beneficial. Shoot the idea down and engage in a staring match. Win.

5:56.

Field Naruto's questions about whether a new ramen stand will actually be built or not. Attempt to move past him with arms full of completed paperwork to be filed. Trip over his foot. Papers fly everywhere. Resist the urge to bury head in hands and instead ask Naruto to help pick them up and organize. Bad idea.

6:43.

Finally get all the paperwork in order and leave the room just in time to intercept Team Asuma, reporting back. Direct them to wait outside the office and look in to see if Tsunade is there. Office is dark and empty. Repress the urge to curse loudly and ask the team to wait a moment. Immediately engage in a search for the missing Hokage.

6:44.

Find her somewhere not expected – in the archives with an old medical tome. Be unable to reprimand Tsunade for going missing when she's working for the betterment of the village instead of lazing around. Inform her of Team Asuma's arrival and steal a glance at the tome left open in the blonde's wake. Medical jutsu pertaining to sealing energy on the body.

9:41.

Send Tsunade home after finding her asleep at her desk. Finish the remaining clean-up for paperwork and organization while repressing yawns. Happen across yet another sake stash and appropriate it. Leave a note in its place.

11:11.

Arrive home, note the time, and make a wish. Doubt it will come true. Make a very late dinner and wonder if Tsunade has gone to sleep yet or if she is wrapped up in memories. Chastise self for thinking of the Hokage after hours.

11:39.

Fall into bed ready to face another grueling day tomorrow.


	307. Hokage

For/from UzumakiKid - I'm not sure if you wanted what would have happened if Kakashi had become Hokage for that specific part of canon, or if he was just Hokage in general. For this one, I did the second. If you want the first, just ask and I'll do it later. ^^

* * *

Hokage

Kakashi leaned indolently back in his chair. Tsunade-sama had decided to go on a training trip with Naruto and Sakura – those two would be scary when they returned – and left _him_ in charge. Of course he had protested the change in position, it meant he couldn't come and go as he pleased, he actually had to do _work_, and worst of all – he shuddered – he had to be _on time_. Every day. For every meeting.

That is, of course, until he had found a way to avoid all of that. Simply exercise the powers of the Hokage and reschedule! Indefinitely. He could tell Shizune, the poor thing, was growing very weary of his actions, but honestly he was getting the work done…just not certain parts of it. Besides, she seemed to need as much of a rest as the rest of them, probably more so from having to deal with Tsunade for years on end.

"Shizune-san," he announced as she walked into the room, arms loaded with papers. "You should take the day off." The poor woman gaped at him, obviously never having been told such a thing before, and it made him even more determined to get her out of the office. "Go on, I'm perfectly capable of handling the village myself for a day." His relaxed posture with his feet up on the desk and hands clasped behind his head belayed the statement, but Shizune seemed too flummoxed to notice.

"I…Hokage-sama, I shouldn't – "

"The village won't fall apart in a day," Kakashi told her persuasively, eye-smiling. Inside he was chanting _take it, take it, take it…_At her continued hesitation he added, "why don't you go to the hot springs to relax for the day? I'm sure you could use a day just for yourself."

"I…" she seemed troubled still, but acquiesced. "Thank you Hokage-sama." As she left, Kakashi was sure he heard the raven mutter "If only Tsunade-sama was as gracious," and he stifled a snort. Oh, if only she knew.

The silver haired man watched to make sure Shizune was well on her way to the springe, spinning his chair around in a couple circles to keep from getting completely bored. Five minutes after she had disappeared from sight he deemed himself safe and grinned, reaching into a desk drawer to his right and pulling out a crystal ball. "Now, let's see what this village has to offer…"

It was completely Tsunade's fault for leaving the crystal ball there, Minato-sensei's fault for teaching him how to use it, and the Sandaime's fault for having the thing to begin with. At least, that was what Kakashi told himself as he skimmed the image over the marketplaces and houses of Konoha, finally coming to rest right over…

The Inuzuka compounds.

Nobody would have suspected it on the jounin, that he would forgo peeking on women as Jiraiya so often did, but long ago he had decided reading was much better than being a voyeur. And was less likely to get you injured. Besides, he had promised Pakkun that he would keep an eye out on all the ninken in the village, even if they did belong with the Inuzuka and were therefore guaranteed to be treated right.

His watching didn't last very long as it was the middle of feeding time for the dogs, and they all looked well-fed and fit. One promise down and one more to go. Kakashi looked distastefully at the stacks of paperwork lumped all over the desk. He was honestly tempted to torch each and every piece of paper – after hearing two Hokages grouch about the workload how could he want anything else? – but refrained from doing so. Partially because he did actually love the village and doing such a thing would only harm it, and partially because Tsunade had threatened to tie him to a post and leave him out for Anko and Ibiki to play with if he did anything that she would have to clean up.

While he was certain of his ability to deal with Anko – when both his arms and legs were free, there was considerable running room, and a he had a decent head start – the two of them together was a force worthy of a horrified shiver. What the pair lacked in brute strength – which in Ibiki wasn't much – they made up for with vindictiveness and inventiveness.

With a resigned sigh the jounin began leafing through the top few stacks. What was the point of giving Shizune the day off if he was still going to work? He cast a quick glance at the door. Oh yes, it meant she wasn't constantly bringing in _more _piles of paperwork to replace the stacks he had already finished. There was something extremely demoralizing about watching all of your progress slip away like that. How did Tsunade do it and not go insane?

Kakashi rethought that statement for a moment and smiled behind his mask. Well, she had voluntarily gone on a trip with both Naruto and Sakura, so maybe she had cracked. Or – and this thought was scarier – that trip was actually better than the paperwork. He eyed the stacks with a new wariness, as though at any moment they would reach out and bite his hand off.

Well, no time better than tomorrow to get it done, right?

Rubbing his hands together, Kakashi lazily got to his feet from the admittedly comfy chair. He had done his fair share of work in the past week, approving businesses and bookstores, restaurants and requests for materials and ingredients. And making a few changes to the quantity of certain books located in said bookstores, but that wasn't anything that would come to light for Tsunade in the next few months. Or the new rule that free copies of a certain series were to be given to all jounin who asked for one before the official release date.

Or that a hyperactive kid and an emo kid were to _never_ be put on the same team. Ever. For the sanity of the jounin instructor. He was sure Iruka wholeheartedly agreed on that one.

Whistling under his breath, Kakashi sauntered out of the Hokage Tower at just past noon, and decided a nice trip to the bookstore was required just to test that new decree.


	308. Without

Sorry Tsunade, it's for your own good XD I feel kind of bad for torturing her though...

* * *

Without

Shizune mumbled to herself as she wandered into the Hokage's office once more, a bundle of scrolls clutched to her chest. "Four C, two B, one S…"

Tsunade was sitting at her desk, head downcast and staring at her hands in her lap, her pen resting on the edge of an open scroll as in slowly dripped onto the important document.

"Tsunade-sama?" Shizune paused in her recitation, staring at her mentor where the woman was slumped. "Tsunade-sama!"

The blonde gave a little start, shaking her head, and looked up at Shizune, eyes blurry and red-rimmed. "Don't talk so loud, it hurts…" she grumbled, narrowing her eyes to focus on the raven. It didn't work very well, and Tsunade put a hand to her temple. "What time is it?"

Shizune's own eyes narrowed. "Are you drunk?"

"No I'm…" the Hokage seemed to have trouble forming the words, or even thinking of them, "not drunk."

"I can smell the sake from here." The assistant dropped the scrolls unceremoniously on a chair and glared at her mentor.

"Not so loud…"

"Tsunade-sama, you can't go getting drunk every day! You have a job and an image as the leader of this village." Her voice began to rise, frustration with her mentor boiling over. Tsunade had shown up to work every day for the past week with a hangover and sake on her breath, and she was _done_.

Tsunade groaned and held a hand to her head. "Quiet, it hurts…"

"If you didn't go out and get plastered all the time it wouldn't hurt!" Shizune snapped back even as she approached, hands glowing green. "Stay still, then you can get back to work."

Before her hands made contact with the blonde's head, Tsunade jerked away, then hissed at the injudicious movement. "Work, work, work, that's all you ever tell me. I get to have fun sometimes too, you can't keep me from it!"

The green glow faded from around Shizune's hands and she snapped back as if stung. "Work? You're the Hokage, of course you have to work! It's your _job_."

"Well you do most of it anyway," Tsunade sneered at her apprentice, hoisting herself out of her chair with a visible wince. "So why should it be my job? You take it." In a nearly fluid motion – broken by her fumbling at the items – Tsunade swept the hat and robe of the Hokage from their spot behind the desk and held them out to Shizune. "Go on, _take it_."

The raven took one step back, then two, then three. "You…" she couldn't get the words out. Tsunade was glaring at her, daring her to take the clothing of the Hokage, and her job. Screw that, she didn't want the job! The only, _only_, reason she did so much around the tower to begin with was because Tsunade would never get nearly as much done on her own, and she actually wanted to help her mentor. But whoever was in front of her right now? She wasn't worth helping. "No. I…"

"Why not? Isn't that what you've always wanted? Running around like a helpful little bee, learning everything about the job?" The spiteful words seemed so out of place with the woman she knew, even though Tsunade had been drunk most of the time they spent traveling.

Shizune drew herself up, glaring daggers at the Hokage in front of her. "If you feel that way, then do the job yourself, I'm leaving." She spun on her heel, marching for the door. Tsunade would realize soon enough exactly what she was throwing away, when she was sober once more.

"Fine! I can do this better than you ever could!" Tsunade shot back, forgetting her earlier claim about hating the work. "I don't need you!"

"No? You don't need me."

* * *

Tsunade moaned to herself as she took in the stacks of paperwork covering most of her office desk and floor. She had never realized just how much Shizune did. Filing scrolls, taking missions, sorting and classifying them, organizing the paperwork so priority came first and mundane could be left for later…these were all duties she had to do now before she could even _get_ to the tedious work of signing off and approving all the requests. There wasn't nearly enough time in a day, and she had no idea how all the previous Hokages had done it before her.

A knock sounded on her door just as she finished sorting out mission scrolls from requests, and she looked up irate. "What is it?"

"Tsunade-sama! Team Kuja is here for their debriefing," announced her secretary through the wooden door.

Tsunade cursed under her breath. She had forgotten all about the debriefing, another thing Shizune handled – her schedule. "Tell them to come in!" She stood up from her place on the floor as the three chuunin filed in, and sent a piercing glare at each as they twitched in disbelief at the state of her office. "Well? Start talking."

* * *

She struggled to stay focused as Hyuuga Hiashi outlined yet another complaint for why his daughter should be withdrawn from Kurenai's team. Normally Shizune was able to head him off well before he got to her office, but since the raven had been gone for nearly a week the man had taken advantage of Tsunade's disorganization and distractedness. She hadn't even had time to get in a sip of sake before the clan leader showed up.

"Look, Hyuuga, I don't care what your reasons are right now, I have bigger things to deal with than your petty pride," she finally snapped, slamming both hands down on her desk. "So unless you have a bottle of sake and another assistant on you, _get out_!"

More than a little miffed, Hiashi did as she commanded, although not without sending her a glare that promised repercussions later. She couldn't care less. If she had thought the job of Hokage was bad before, doing it on her own was ten times worse. "I just want Shizune back…"

As though summoned by some magic, the raven strode into the office, a bottle of sake in hand. Tsunade's eyes immediately fixed on the bottle, then slowly traveled over and up to Shizune's face. "I thought you quit."

"I decided the village would collapse around my ears if I didn't come back to help," Shizune told her without preamble. "So here are some ground rules or I leave for good. First – no sake in the mornings unless it's the weekend. Second – no showing up drunk to work. Third – you have to actually _finish _the paperwork I bring you. Fourth – "

"But – "

The warning finger Shizune held up stopped the Hokage cold. "Fourth – I want a pay raise just for dealing with you."

Tsunade scowled at that one, but nodded reluctantly. "Fine." Anything, _anything_, including almost no sake, was better than the hell she had been going through.

"And," Shizune smirked, holding up one last finger, "you have to tell _everyone_ you couldn't do it without me."


	309. Thanksgiving

Hahaha, an American Thanksgiving in a Japanese universe...oh, contradictions. Sorry, Addster, I couldn't figure out how to continue off of your prompt...^^;

* * *

Thanksgiving

Tsunade muttered to herself as she moved around the kitchen, twisting a knob here, checking a pan there, sniffing at a liquid on the stove, eyeing the temperature in the oven. It was all nearly done.

The whole thing was going to be a huge surprise for her boy, and Jiraiya had decided it was a good idea as well. Not that his approval meant he would be helping in the kitchen at all, or that she would let him. At least her culinary efforts were somewhat edible, while his were just abysmal. For her own survival, as well as Naruto's, she banned him from the kitchen and instead set him to setting up the table.

The stuffing was done and she pulled it out of the oven, checking the turkey as she did so. Almost done as well. The gravy would wait until the turkey had been finished, and the cranberry sauce and corn were finished and waiting to be served. Jiraiya had placed a basket of rolls on the table – at least those she didn't have to make – as well as three plates, sets of silverware, and glasses. She even had some crisp apple cider for them all to drink, instead of sake.

"Jiraiya, will you go get Naruto?" the blonde called as she pulled the turkey out of the oven, the button on the device she had stuck in the bird 'popped' to show it was done. "It's almost time to eat."

"What if he won't come?" the white haired man asked, popping his head into the kitchen and nearly having it swatted off when Tsunade turned around, carving knife in hand. "Hey, be careful with that thing! You told me not to tell him why he has to come."

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Be inventive or something. You're supposed to be good at that. Just don't lie, okay?" That was one thing she was big on, never lying to him. Unless it had to do with sake or IOUs.

"Yeah, yeah, I don't see why you can't get him…" Jiraiya muttered to himself, eyeing the array of food out on the counter just waiting to be served. "Besides…"

He was pinned with his best glare. "The deal was one cooks and one fetches. Unless you want both of us and probably yourself to die from food poisoning, _you_ will go and get him, understood? So get out of here."

"You didn't even ask me for that deal."

"So you don't want to eat with us? Fine. I guess the pumpkin pie will be just for Naruto…" She trailed off, turning back to the turkey to cut at it with precision, trying not to sever the wishbone. She had plans for it.

"No, no, I'll go get him," Jiraiya backtracked hastily. "Give me ten minutes, then you'd better be ready."

"I won't need but five."

* * *

He found Naruto out in the training fields as usual, drilling his rasengan over and over into a tree that was covered in spiral shaped markings. "Hey gaki."

"Ero-sennin!" Immediately the boy dropped his attack and turned to face his sensei, a happy grin on his face. "Baa-chan told me you were out of Konoha for a month!"

"Yeah, well, I came back 'cause I missed her punches," Jiraiya joked, walking a few steps closer to the blond. "So, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

"Training," Naruto answered immediately, wiping at the sweat on his forehead with one sleeve. "Just like every year."

"What, you're telling me Sakura doesn't try to drag you home and feed you?" Jiraiya pretended astonishment, but Naruto met his eyes.

"Nah, she has her family to eat with, they don't want me around. And I don't know where the teme disappears off to, and Kakashi-sensei is off doing something…somewhere. So I'll train!" The happy grin he sent the man was at odds with his words. "Just means I'll get stronger the faster, and I won't be fat for the next couple days from overeating." He sent a pointed glare at Jiraiya's stomach that the man shrugged off.

"Hey, what can I say? Good food is good food is good food."

"So why're you here anyway?" Naruto asked, again wiping his sleeve over his forehead. "You're usually at the hot springs or something when you're in Konoha."

"Tsunade asked me to come and get you for something, she wouldn't tell me what." He gave a helpless shrug. "Who am I to argue with her?" The knowing grin Naruto sent him didn't help matters. "Don't give me that look, gaki, let's get moving."

"She's got you whipped," the blond muttered under his breath as he passed the sannin, and he dodged Jiraiya's slow punch.

* * *

Tsunade looked at the food arrayed on the table in front of her with satisfaction. Everything was cooked to perfection and arranged nicely so they could all reach whatever they wanted. Now all she needed was…

"Hey, baa-chan, what gives?" Naruto sauntered into the room, not really noticing his surroundings. "Why aren't we in your office? Where's…" he paused, nose sniffing at the air appreciatively. "What're you cooking?"

"You mean what's been cooked," Tsunade corrected, exasperation in her tone with the blond's unobservant nature. "Sit."

"Sit?" Naruto looked at her questioningly until Jiraiya walked in after him and gave the boy a shove between the shoulder blades towards one of the three chairs surrounding the table. "Hey! What's this?"

"Thanksgiving," Tsunade replied simply, sitting down next to Naruto as Jiraiya sat across from her. "For all three of us."

"But…" Naruto seemed slightly troubled, trailing off as he looked first at the food – an array he had never seen but through a window pane – and then at the two sannin. "What do you mean?"

Jiraiya gave a sigh. "We want to spend Thanksgiving with you, gaki. Who knows why, but we actually like you." He flinched as Tsunade kicked him under the table.

"_I,_" she sent a glare at Jiraiya he just grinned at while Naruto still looked confused, "want to say thanks for you being in my life. Without you I never would have gotten the courage to come back to Konoha." She twitched slightly at how sappy it sounded, but it was the truth. "Don't think that means I'll say it often," she added hastily, trying to regain some even-footing. Then she nudged Jiraiya.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I want to say thanks for…well, for all the pretty ladies." The smirk on his face was quickly wiped off by a wince. "And that I finally got to meet my godson, and he's better than I could have ever imagined."

Naruto blushed slightly at each statement, looking between the two Sannin as though they were competitors at a tennis match. "I…" he began quietly when both looked at him expectantly. "I'm just glad…I'm thankful I have friends now, and baa-chan, and Ero-sennin…and I've never had a Thanksgiving dinner before…" he fidgeted, "so I say thanks for all of that." Then he seemed to get a bit of his spirit back. "And for baa-chan not burning the food!"

"You little brat, I'll have you know I could do this in my sleep!" Tsunade shook the serving fork at Naruto who grinned unrepentantly. "No pumpkin pie for you!"

"Pumpkin pie? What's pumpkin pie?"

"_You've never had pumpkin pie? _Gaki, how do you _survive_?_"_

"Ramen."

"But it's pumpkin pie!"

"You can't miss what you don't have."

Tsunade intervened in their banter by plopping the first serving of turkey onto Jiraiya's plate. "Eat up, both of you, then we'll talk pie. And if I don't see every scrap of food eaten…" she trailed off, leaving the threat unspecified.

Naruto sent her a grin and went back to laughing at Jiraiya, one of his true smiles on his face. She was thankful for his presence in her life, all right. He was like a ray of sunshine that made everything better. So she was glad to do this little thing for him.


	310. Returned

This is going wayyyyy back to right after the Sand invasion...I was reading a fanfic today where Tsunade makes some brief appearances, usually medical, and decided I really wanted to do something with that. This one didn't end up quite in the style I wanted, but maybe it's continuer (tomorrow) will. I hope. Just have to get my brain to work right. Anyway, hope it doesn't seem too repetitive to canon ^^;

* * *

Returned

Her hands ghosted over his back again, feeling the paths of the nerves wound about his spinal cord as they moved towards his arms and legs. She had a deep look of concentration on her face as she followed the bundles, searching for the beginning of the damage she knew ravaged his body. As she sent her chakra through his body, mind receiving and deciphering all the information sent back, she knew when she had reached it. His arm and leg didn't glow the healthy blue in her mind as the rest of his body did; instead, it was as though neither existed, two black gaps in the human body.

She went a little deeper until she could feel the shards of bone embedded in the muscles there, some of the severed nerves. While he may regain limited mobility, she wasn't positive – to the point of being completely certain – he would never be able to use them fully again. What had been done to him was cruel, but not outside the norm of a shinobi lifestyle.

Only when she was positive she had gathered all the information she could did Tsunade withdraw her chakra from his body, feeling him shiver slightly as the tingling feeling of the energy passed through his muscles. She waited a second longer after she had finished the examination to gather herself before she told him to turn around. The boy did so, a puppy-dog longing on his face to hear news she couldn't give.

Schooling her face into a neutral expression she had long ago perfected, Tsunade looked at Lee and prepared herself to crush his dreams. Before she could begin, he interrupted her. "Tsunade-sama, can you fix it?" There was no passion in the tone; from what she had heard from Naruto the boy used to be bouncing with energy at all times. Now he seemed more like a shadow of himself.

"She's the best medic-nin in the world, Lee, I'm sure Tsunade-sama will be able to!" Maito Gai interjected. She didn't miss the desperation in his tone either. It was one of the reasons she both loved and hated her profession. Loved, because sometimes they could pull off the impossible or make a difference in someone's life, but also hated because there were times the knowledge just wasn't enough, or the injury was too great to heal.

She refused to let the clenching of her heart show on her face, and instead put both hands on Lee's shoulders where he sat on his stool. "Lee-san, I could heal the nerves, but there are miniscule bone fragments embedded throughout your muscles. If I heal the muscles around them, you will never regain the strength in your arm and leg to move fully."

"But…he can still be a shinobi, right Tsunade-sama?" Gai was almost crying, his eyes pleading with her to say yes.

She had taken an oath to never lie. "I am sorry, Lee-san, it would be in your best interests to forget ever becoming a shinobi again." Tsunade turned on her heel and walked away, but not before she saw the tears begin to fall from Lee's eyes.

* * *

At least her treatment of Kakashi had gone better. After her clan's dealing with sharingan techniques for so many years, she knew how to counteract the effects of the mangekyou sharingan on a person's brain. Naruto had practically dragged her to his sensei's room after she had looked Lee over, and she had welcomed the chance to make a difference.

Naruto's teammate, Sakura, was sitting in the corner, staring out the window when Tsunade arrived, and watched intently as the blonde formed the seals necessary and placed her hand on Kakashi's head. All she was really doing was breaking down the mental barriers built up around Kakashi's 'self' that kept him locked in his mind, but it required a finesse of healing that even the Yamanaka for all their skill in mind-walking couldn't emulate.

When she withdrew her hand, Naruto pestered her with questions. "Neh, neh, baa-chan, will he be alright now? Did you heal him?"

Tsunade turned to him, looking at those puppy dog eyes, and seeing a flash of Lee's face overlapping. "Yes, he'll be fine now; he just needs rest. When he wakes up, tell Kakashi he has to stay here for a week, no skipping out before hand, you got that Naruto? I'll send a nurse to check on him in a few hours." At the blond's vigorous nod, Tsunade left the room to be immediately found by an orderly.

"Tsunade-sama, there's an emergency on floor four!"

As soon as she had returned to Konoha Tsunade had taken a trip to the hospital, taking charge of the management and going over the various treatments used on a daily – and not so daily – basis, making changes where she thought they were required with absolute authority. No one had dared question those changes because of her reputation, and it was already beginning to pay off. She had also reinstituted herself as a part of the staff, putting herself in surgery rotation, intensive care, and on call for all medical emergencies. An experienced set of eyes was always needed everywhere.

* * *

It wasn't until much later that night that she had a chance to think of the black-haired boy with the damaged limbs again. From what his sensei had told her, he had been in a fight with Suna's jinchuuriki and both appendages had been crushed. What made it so much harder to heal was the time that had passed and the body's natural instinct to heal damage as it could. Some bone fragments were buried so deep in the muscle she didn't think they would ever come out.

When she closed her eyes to rest them, leaning back in the chair she was sitting in, a blond boy, streaked in blood, appeared on the field of her vision. His heart muscles had been torn to shreds, and she was losing him fast. His chest gave one last flutter beneath her hands and grew still, and she knew he was gone. That was life.

Until he coughed and opened his eyes once more, a medical impossibility. In their world, almost anything was possible.

A thought niggled at the back of her mind, a mostly forgotten memory of a scroll or a tome containing an old medical procedure. A diagram of the body and the chakra points, the nerve connections, the muscle bindings. Maybe…


	311. Fixed

This is more towards the style I wanted yesterday ^^; Also, it's being posted about 7 hours after I wanted to due to uncooperative internets!

* * *

Fixed

Lee looked down at his ruined arm and leg, both wrapped and covered in plaster. Slowly, methodically, he raised his legs up onto the table and rotated a quarter turn, lying back onto the bed in the room he had been assigned for nearly two months. Today was the day that was 'make it or break it', as Tenten would say.

"Lee, are you sure you want to do this?" Tsunade asked for the last time, leaning over the boy where he lay on the wheeled hospital bed. "If it fails, you lose any possibility of ever becoming a shinobi. The chance of success –"

"Is greater than fifty, even if by one percent. Tsunade-sama, I will take whatever chance I can get, even if it means losing my career. I know you will do all you can." He could feel the thin material of the hospital gown against his legs and chest, and the bright lights of the ceiling were shining directly into his eyes. He closed them, blocking out Tsunade's face where she stood next to the bed as orderlies swarmed around.

"Very well then." The Hokage's voice was even and commanding. "Prep him," she announced to the nurses in the room, and spun on her heel to go get ready for the surgery that would change his life.

With his eyes closed, his other senses were heightened. Lee could feel the nurses sticking pads onto his chest, attached to wires that led to machines; place a cuff around his arm; stick something under his tongue that beeped. When all the bustle stopped, there was only one nurse left in the room, a kindly lady who stood close to his ear.

"I'm going to put you under now, okay?" she told him, voice gentle. "I need you to take ten deep breaths, then when you wake up it will all be over." A mask was placed over his nose and mouth, and despite his shinobi instinct raging at him not to inhale, Lee obediently began to breathe deeply, smelling the light cherry scent laced into the gas.

By five he was out cold.

* * *

The operation didn't start the moment Lee was wheeled into the room. On the gurney his body was limp, and the plaster casts had been cut off of both his arm and leg. Instead, Tsunade spent a few more minutes checking that she had prepared everything she needed for the surgery within easy reach, and that nothing was missing. Check and check.

With a deep breath to steady herself, she gave the signal for the orderly standing at the side of the gurney to tighten the restraints that bound Lee's arms and legs, as well as torso and cranium, to the bed, in case he moved in his sleep. If he did, all her work would be wasted, and she could possibly end up injuring him worse. "Increase oxygen flow." Another orderly standing by the machine flipped the switch to pump some more oxygen towards the boy's nose.

Brushing blonde bangs back from her face with a manicured hand, Tsunade moved forward to look down at the defenseless boy whose whole way of life depended on the next few pivotal hours. No pressure.

Hands glowing green, the Hokage placed them down on Lee's chest to begin one of the most exacting surgeries she had ever done.

* * *

Lee slowly blinked his eyes open as the effects of the anesthesia wore off. Above him was the same white ceiling with the same bright lights, and even the same sunlight coming through the window to his left.

"Did it work?" were the first words out of his mouth, slightly slurred as his tongue didn't quite cooperate, and his dry mouth and throat put up a protest.

"Drink first, talk after," a voice ordered, and a paper cup filled with liquid was held to his lips.

Obediently Lee drank, swallowed, coughed as the liquid soothed the scratchy feeling in his throat, and drank again. Only when the cup was empty did the voice's owner take it away, and Lee turned his head – not daring to try moving any other part of his body – to look at his tender.

Tsunade had her back to him, writing something down on a clipboard she was holding, and Gai-sensei was sitting in a chair right next to the bed. Since he wasn't holding any paper cups, Lee guessed it had been Tsunade who had made him drink.

"Did it work?" he tried again, and this time his voice came out much smoother. He looked to Gai-sensei for an answer, but the jounin only shrugged helplessly.

"She refused to tell me until you woke up," the older man responded, much subdued from his normal exuberant manner. Both pairs of eyes moved towards the figure in the green coat that didn't turn around.

"The surgery was very complex," her voice floated back to them. They couldn't see her expression. "Never have I attempted anything like it before." She turned around and Lee could see the serious look adorning her face. "You almost died three times on the table, in twelve hours."

His face began to crumple, knowing that she hadn't been able to save both his limbs and his life, when she raised a finger. "But." Golden eyes bored into his own black ones. "I was able to remove all the bone fragments in the muscle tissue and connect all the nerves."

Gai's gasp of joy broke her speech, and tears began to stream down the jounin's face. "Hokage-sama! You have healed my youthful student!" Lee didn't notice his sensei's antics, every fiber of his being straining to hear the words from her lips that would confirm it all.

"If you undergo all the physical rehabilitation I set, you _will_ become a shinobi again. It's a long hard road, but it can be done."

Now he had tears of his own spilling out of his eyes, tears of disbelief and joy. He could still prove himself to be _someone_. He could still be a shinobi.

As Gai moved to embrace his student, Tsunade slipped out of the room, leaving the clipboard behind on a chair. They would get to it soon. At the doorway she looked back to see Lee hunched over on the bed while Gai rested his forehead on the sheets, both weeping openly. Every hour she had put in past midnight, every minute spent pursuing every possibility, finally paid off. The impossible became possible, and the proof was right there in that room.

That was why she was a medical kunoichi.


	312. Hero Worship

Thanks to Addster for suggesting I watch the latest Naruto...not very productive for essay writing, but what can I say? Stupid fillers, it's the first episode I've watched since August and it's _still _not canon! Anyways, griping aside. I kind of wanted to take Tenten's hero-worship to realistic view of Tsunade and write it from Tsunade's perspective instead. Tell me how good/bad I did? ^^;

* * *

Hero Worship

She was well aware of the rumors, the facts, the legends. Hero worship. She had done much in her life, rising in power and knowledge above many other shinobi until she stood on a golden pedestal in the mind of the village; not human, but something more.

Even before she left the village, young girls idolized her, wearing their hair in pigtails, trying to become stronger in taijutsu. The number of kunoichi attempting to learn medical ninjutsu swamped the hospital, and almost all were sent away with disappointment on their faces when pronounced unable to use the techniques.

They wanted to train under her, act like her, look like her, _be _her.

Foolish.

Didn't they know a woman couldn't be a goddess? A woman was fallible? No. Instead they saw only the appealing sides, twisted by word of mouth to seem perfect.

She had monstrous super strength.

Had they ever felt bones crack under their hands, a person's last breath coming out in a sudden exhalation as their diaphragm was crushed? Taijutsu was a much more intimate form of killing, where one couldn't escape the dealing of death no matter how hard they tried.

Most shinobi killed from a distance using techniques and weapons, staying away from the corpse in its last moments of life. The burden was less heavy that way.

They didn't even understand the amount of precision required to release the chakra at the right moment; most didn't even know chakra was the main component. Instead all they saw was the flash and the glory of knocking down trees, splitting boulders in half, punching a person so they flew over a hundred feet through the air.

Dreamers.

She was the best medical kunoichi in the entire world.

Yes, she knew many, many techniques, and most of them she had invented. But it wasn't for her own pleasure that she did so. No, instead they were created out of necessity, trying to find more ways to keep Konoha's shinobi from dying during bloody, vicious wars.

For every two she saved, five more died.

As the years passed, she worked away at that number until she had at the very least contingency plans should a treatment fail. Always know what to do next to save the patient's life. And still sometimes it didn't work. There had been times her consciousness and chakra were fighting in the patient's body as it shut down, and the sensation was indescribable. Feeling the life seep from the person as their body stopped living, on the most intimate level.

It was worse than killing could ever be.

And what had pushed her to become as she had? Fighting to keep loved ones alive, trying to protect more from dying. Failing again and again and swearing the next time, _it wouldn't happen._

But the dark sides of her life were hidden from the young idealists, and after she left the village the myths only grew. There was no one she couldn't beat, nothing she couldn't heal. They didn't know _her,_ her personality, her likes and dislikes, her _self_.

Only her accomplishments.

In the villages they traveled through, she would sometimes her name would be mentioned in passing with regards to events long gone by, how valiantly she had acted, what feats she had undertaken. How brave, how strong, how _wonderful_ she was.

Fools.

When Naruto convinced her back to Konoha, she knew what she would come across. People who idolized her for the past and what she represented, who had unrealistic expectations of the kindly woman who could fix anything. It was only exacerbated by the state of the village. Well, she wouldn't cater to them.

When there was harsh news, she delivered it without the sugar coating. When people finally realized all that had come about in Konoha, she didn't offer false comfort but told hard facts.

She had long ago sworn not to lie about life.

And when she didn't fit the mold that had been created for her over the years, instead shattering it like so much glass, worshiping girls finally shook their head free of unrealistic dreams and discovered she wasn't a goddess. She was a woman.

She wasn't a hero.


	313. Interest

Interesting concept from Addster. Star, I still have your ideas!

* * *

Interest

Mito muttered to herself as she brought the damp rag over the top of the wooden table once more. Honestly, two grown men and neither appeared to know how to clean up after themselves, even after all the years they had lead the clan. Which, of course, meant she was left with the job of cleaning up after them if she wanted the family home to look at all decent.

The village was still new, and so was the house; although having a mokuton user for a husband meant there wasn't any sawdust in nooks and crannies from construction, something Mito definitely appreciated. However, since Hashirama was 'on call' at almost any time for the clan leaders – who usually came to the house looking for him – the least Mito could do to keep her ego happy was clean it.

The Uchiha were the main ones to use that time however; especially Uchiha Madara. Both the Senju and the Uchiha remained wary of each other, despite the peace brokered by the two clan leaders. Hashirama was working hard to get Madara to trust him more implicitly to the village could run smoothly, but the Uchiha leader was holding out, she could feel it. She never felt completely at ease when he made his late night visits.

A knock on the door broke the redhead out of her thoughts, and with a slight frown Mito put down the rag to make her way to the front hallway. Hashirama was at a meeting with the civilian members, and he hadn't told her to expect anyone.

A quick peek through the windows to the left of the door showed Uchiha Madara – spiked black hair, plate armor, and all – standing on her front step, glaring at the door. As she watched, he raised his hand and knocked again authoritatively.

She didn't want to let him in, but to refuse to was hardly an option. So with a sigh, Mito smoothed her hands over her dress and opened the door with a _very_ small bow. "Welcome, Uchiha-san."

"Uzumaki-san." He had never taken to calling her a Senju, yet another mark against him in her book. Without waiting for her to move aside, he strode into the house with all the pride and arrogance of his clan.

"If you are looking for Hashirama, I am sure you know he's in a meeting," Mito began, still holding the door open, a clear indicator.

He ignored it.

"No, it's you I want to speak to." His voice was gruff, the cruel edge underlying it as always. The raven moved forward and Mito stepped away from the door; he took the opportunity to close it.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait until Hashirama arrives," Mito told him serenely, but her hand slipped into the pocket of her dress, gripping the kunai there. Even if he was vital the continued success of Konoha, she wouldn't hesitate to gut him. The man just had that sleaze feeling.

"That won't be necessary." Before she could withdraw her hand, his eyes flashed red and she was mesmerized, caught by the power of the sharingan. Even though she saw him move, there wasn't anything she could do to stop it. Oh how she hated those eyes. "Now, why does Hashirama get one such as yourself, exclusively?" the Uchiha murmured, his face far too close for comfort to hers, and one leg planted on either side of her own.

She couldn't even turn her head away as she felt one of his hands go to her waist, the other to the side of her neck. "After all," he continued, moving slightly closer with each word, "you could be with me instead." His lips covered hers, but his eyes broke contact.

As the power of movement returned to her body, Mito didn't waste any time. Her right leg came up with all speed, impacting Madara where he straddled her, as her other hand whipped the kunai out of her pocket and held it to his throat. She kept her eyes closed.

She sensed the Uchiha trying not to double over, and moved forward a step as the kunai pressed against his skin. "I believe you have overstayed your welcome." Her voice as no longer that of the pleasant housewife, but contained the deadly force of a trained kunoichi. "I suggest you leave."

Hissing in rage, Madara made another grab for her that Mito sensed coming, and moved to the side. In her free hand she gathered her chakra, shaping it into a scalpel. "I won't let him have you," the raven growled even as he backed up towards the door. "You're mine!"

Only when she heard the door slam closed and felt his chakra leaving the premises did Mito relax and open her eyes. That had been an unexpected encounter.

* * *

It was that evening before she had occasion to broach the subject with her husband. He was sitting at his desk, reading over a scroll given to him earlier that day, and she stood by the window, looking out at the fledgling village. "Uchiha Madara stopped by today."

"Oh?" His question was more of an automatic reflex to the name. "What did he want?"

Her mouth twisted in a wry expression. "Apparently, me."

It took a few seconds for the words to process, then Hashirama spun around in his chair, eyes blazing. "He wants what?"

"He made advances on me," Mito told her husband calmly, although she didn't feel calm. "I kicked him." Her mouth quirked.

Hashirama's normally even brown eyes looked like a raging storm, and the hand clenched on the desk sported white knuckles. "If you would excuse me," he bit out the words, standing up from his chair with precise movements, "I have a meeting I must attend."

* * *

Doors didn't really exist for a reason – at least, not in Senju Hashirama's lexicon when they stood between him and his target. For the doors' sake, they were lucky Uchiha Madara was outside, looking at the stars.

"I wondered how long it would take you," the man remarked idly, not looking away from the sky. "I must say, she doesn't deserve you if it takes you this long."

"You have no right to decide that," the Hokage growled, voice like warning thunder. "Such business is between Mito and myself. You are encroaching where you hold no power, Uchiha."

"Between you and her, is it?" Madara pushed away from the fence, moving to confront Hashirama. "And I suppose it has nothing to do with the alliance between Senju and Uzumaki, the one that created your betrothal contract?"

Hashirama was baffled for a second by the change in topic, but his anger still burned. "It matters not how or why we were wed, but that _she is my wife_."

Snapping onyx eyes glared at him. "And she never had a choice. What if she were to choose me over you? Hm? Would it be a blow to your Senju pride then? Kissing me, instead of you, sleeping in –"

Hashirama's incensed roar cut him off as the Hokage lunged forward. He was normally calm and diplomatic, trying to work any issues out to the benefit of all parties involved, but now Madara had gone a step too far. The Uchiha relished it.

He met the Senju's charge with his own fist, chakra already whipping between the two most powerful men in the village. This time, the line had been drawn. This time, it wouldn't stop until one of them was dead.

* * *

From their house in the Senju compound, Mito watched from the window as blue chakra flared in the distance, ever moving away from the village as Hashirama gave chase to the Uchiha. So in the end she had been the catalyst the pushed the two men over the edge.

Drawing in a weary sigh, she turned away from the scene and walked downstairs to see Tobirama still awake and sitting at the kitchen table.

"It's tonight, isn't it."

"Yes."


	314. Two Looks

...Why is it so hard to write to near-gods fighting? Gah. It's like I don't expect them to do the normal hit hit block, go flying, stab,etc. Thanks to Addster for the elaboration here, and next up tomorrow for your reading pleasure an idea by Star Josherson!

* * *

Two Looks

All it took was two looks.

One questioning, asking 'Should I go? Should I intervene?' and one cynical response, 'You think you won't? Nothing could stop you'.

All it took was two looks, and she was out the door, following – not chasing – the two men who were out for each other's blood. There was no panic in her gaze, only determination as she pushed chakra through her legs to speed faster. The remnants of their rage lingered on the air, creating a clear path for her to follow. One running and the other giving chase through the forest, looking for the best spot to stage a battle.

In the far distance she could hear a roar of rage, the cry not from a human throat. Knowing its creator, Mito moved faster through the woods, leaping from tree branch to tree branch instead of running along the forest floor. She didn't doubt her husband's ability to take care of himself, but Uchiha Madara was no weak opponent. The two clan leaders rivaled each other in strength, and it was a fight with no holds barred.

No matter what she had thought to see, emerging onto a battlefield stripped of trees with a stream cutting through the center, a man on either side, and a red mass of chakra dominating the area behind the Uchiha, was disconcerting.

The two men had paused in their attacks for a moment as they each felt her approach, and two very different pairs of eyes locked onto her. One, filled with a desperate, despairing longing, mixed with a cruel edge. The other, warm and kind and worried, telling her to stay away. She would do no such thing.

"You will stop this nonsense this instant," the redhead called out commandingly, her voice carrying over the broken field. The bijuu behind Madara let out another roar of rage, punctuating her statement. They had always known about the Kyuubi nearby, as well as the Uchiha's capabilities of controlling it. But there was a reason it was never used in the wars between the clans.

Hashirama was the first to break the ringing silence after the sound faded, blood running from a gash on his right arm and dripping off his hand. "Nonsense it is not. This must be settled here and now."

Madara turned with spiteful eyes back to his opponent, sharingan blazing in his sockets. "Settled you say? There is nothing to _settle_, only to be won!" He lunched forward, hand blurring through seals and fire pouring from his mouth, shaping into a dragon that arched up into the night sky. As it reached its apex, the creation turned and arrowed downwards straight towards the Hokage, who leapt to the side while calling a large amount of water out of the river next to him.

The dragon sizzled upon contact with the liquid, steam shooting off its body, but did not halt in its descent. Madara attacked the Senju from behind, racing at the man's back with a kunai as a large stone plummeted to the ground, hidden inside the dragon.

Hashirama didn't have time to escape the impact; instead, he was blown to splinters as two hands melted out of the ground at the Uchiha's feet, grabbing his ankles to pull the raven into the ground.

Before he could be submerged in the earth, Madara leapt up and away from the ground, landing on the other side of the river once more. "Woman, you will be mine!" he shouted, dark eyes never leaving Hashirama's form as it emerged. "You don't belong with a weakling who spouts peace at every turn!"

The Senju's eyes flickered with hatred and rage. Without even a movement, vines shot out of every tree surrounding the clearing, weaving around Mito, and converged on Madara, wrapping him in a cocoon. A light flared inside the plants and they stretched and broke, a purple figure in armor with burning flames for eyes surrounding the Uchiha protectively. Susanoo.

"Madara, if you continue with this path, you will destroy Konoha," Mito tried convincing the man. Not that she minded if her husband kicked the snot out of the guy for what he had tried to do to her; but their fledgling village _had_ to survive, no matter the cost, and it needed two good leaders.

"Konoha?" His laugh was tinged with madness. "Konoha is a dying ideal already! Senju and Uchiha will _never_ cooperate, the hatred runs too strong!" Red eyes opened wider and the black rings spun faster. "I will show that the peace you search for has never existed!" He shot into the air, running through three hand seals. Susanoo formed them as well, great skeletal hands moving laboriously. "And if I can't have you, dear Mito…" He stopped, hanging in midair as a giant chunk of rock began to appear behind him, "why should I let anyone else?"

The projectile was getting closer at an alarming rate, aiming straight at Hashirama where he stood; its diameter made the man look like an ant. "Mito, back! To the village!" the Senju shouted, wooden tendrils already beginning to weave around him, creating a protective shell.

The Uzumaki woman didn't move, instead keeping a wary eye on the meteorite as it grew ever closer.

"Oh, I won't kill her; I'm simply eliminating the competition," Madara yelled from his position on air. The first rock slammed into Hashirama a moment later.

Mito couldn't suppress the yelp that escaped her as she watched the scene, unable to help. Intervening in a battle between two near gods was suicide. Then a second rock, and a third, collided with the first, creating a huge impact crater and spraying massive shards of rock everywhere. She was forced to dive under the ground, shielding herself with a wall of chakra as the floor of the forest shuddered and shook with each collision.

When the vibrations stopped, she emerged from the earth to see a completely different scene. Now there was no stream cutting through a flat clearing. Instead, it poured off the edge of a sharp stone bluff, plummeting nearly four hundred feet downwards into what was swiftly becoming a deep pool. The landscape was irrevocably changed. There was no sign of Hashirama.

Madara was standing at the top of the cliff, the Kyuubi still tethered behind him. His dark gaze sought her out across the new made cliff site, ordering her to come to him. She glared back, conveying all her rage in that one look. He sneered. "If that is your choice –"

The water of the newly made cascade bent back on itself, directing the full force of its power at the Uchiha. From the pool far below Hashirama sped, dripping wet, panting for breath, and covered in gashes, but very much alive. He vibrated with fury as he caught sight of his opponent fighting off his newest attack.

"Playing hard to kill, Hashirama?" Madara mocked once the torrent had subsided. He held an arm tight across his ribs, as though the force of the water had broken a few. "I'm done toying with you. You claim to be as strong as an Uchiha…prove it!"

The Kyuubi let out a bloodcurdling growl, and its eyes changed from the normal menacing pupils to Madara's sharingan. Behind it, nine tails of fire lashed, taking down trees left and right as though they were flies. Before it could even move, wooden posts grew out of the earth, winding around fore and back legs, holding the beast in place.

Whatever battle next happened was invisible to Mito – it seemed more a battle of wills between the two mortal enemies. Each remained frozen where they stood, the only moving creature on the battlefield being the Kyuubi as it howled and fought at its bonds.

It was an indeterminable time and yet only a few minutes that the battle lasted. Either way, Mito knew something had to be done to intervene in the battle of the two powerful men. Yes. She would intervene.

The Uzumaki clan was well known for its skill with fuinjutsu, and she was no exception. In her mind, the curls and script of the seal were already forming, writing themselves upon the template of her consciousness. Concentrating her willpower, Mito began to channel her chakra for the seal that would end the titan's battle.

Hashirama broke away first, wooden pillars retracting from the Kyuubi as its eyes changed from sharingan to dark pupils once more. Its coughing bark echoed through the forest as Madara stumbled, nearly pitching over the cliffside. "No! It is mine, you will die to me!" the Uchiha howled, fixating swirling eyes on the Hokage.

"The Kyuubi…" Hashirama's voice was labored with the strain of imposing his will over the great bijuu, "will never be yours."

Before he moved to talk again, Mito released all the chakra and intent she had been building up. She needed no words and no designs, for the jutsu was that of the mind and the molding. Power flowed from her to the Kyuubi, connecting the two with a bridge.

The first touch of the Kyuubi's power inside her soul was a strange, alien feeling. Its malice was palpable, as was its rage, but also felt was its hatred for control and restraints.

Both men froze as the bond between the bijuu and Mito became visible, the red chakra disappearing into the woman. "No!" Madara screamed, lunging towards the Kyuubi as though he could hold it there by touch. A giant tail – still moving – slammed into him from the side, sending him flying. Then the beast was gone, disintegrating away faster and faster as it flowed through the air into Mito's body.

It felt as though she was on fire for a moment before the sensation was replaced by an odd shifting in her abdomen, then nothing at all. After all, she had designed the seal to create a container for the Kyuubi, not to become a vessel.

That was right before she collapsed.

Hashirama was at her side in an instant, Uchiha Madara forgotten as he checked her pulse. So he didn't see the raven pick himself up out of the trees in the background, didn't see the hate filled stare he directed at the two. Didn't see the near tangible declaration of vengeance.

Instead he only saw Mito's pupilless eyes as they stared straight ahead, trying to assimilate the differences she now felt.

'You shouldn't have done that, I had it under control', his look told her, reproachful. 'You couldn't have stopped me if you tried', her eyes said back.

It ended with two looks.


	315. Blackmail

They keep ending up so long...O.O Can I channel this towards my history paper instead? So here is Star's wonderful idea, all written up and elaborated, I hope it suits!

And this concludes our Mito Specials! Tomorrow we shall return to your regularly scheduled Tsunade ;)

* * *

Blackmail

Tobirama walked down the mostly paved main street of the village, smiling around at the various fledgling shops and stalls that dotted the edges. People bustled between the businesses on errands, baskets on their arms. It had taken some of the clans time getting used to not having to provide completely for themselves and instead relying on the civilians of not just their bloodline, but others as well.

He had to get out of the compound; Hashirama was being all mysterious about a visitor from Ushiogakure – namely, his wife, who the elder brother had met and married in his travels to the village. _But_, he was being annoying about the whole issue, refusing to tell his brother the woman's name, appearance, or even date of arrival; all he knew was the woman was an Uzumaki, and that was all. Not that it helped, with the Uzumaki clan having sent a whole group of carpenters and other craftsmen to help with the establishing the village. Almost every one in ten people he saw on the street had the trademark red hair.

Well, if his brother could get a wife, he certainly could at least snag a girl. Or so the white haired man told himself. Besides, there were plenty of single women around the streets, and he was practically royalty what with being the Hokage's brother. Add in his irresistible charm, and you had a concoction no woman could deny.

With that thought in mind, Tobirama squared his shoulders, donned his most charming grin, and marched towards a striking redhead who had caught his eye. She was standing near the entrance to the village, looking around at the hustle and bustle slightly bemusedly.

On the upside, that meant she hadn't heard of his reputation yet. Perfect.

Meeting her pupilless eyes with his own dark ones, Tobirama sent her a lazy two fingered wave as he approached. "So, you new here?" he asked without preamble, stopping next to her with easy grace.

She had vibrant red hair that characterized her as Uzumaki, put up in two buns from which seal tags dangled as decoration. Her clothing was rather formal, with a high necked kimono, and she had a serene, if closed, expression on her face.

"I am," she replied, turning her head slightly to the right to continue to meet his eyes.

"Here to visit our great village, I bet," Tobirama laughed, waving an arm at the half constructed settlement. His brother had done wonders with the houses, but it still looked a bit ramshackle. "I don't suppose you have an escort." He winked at her, slightly extending his left arm, elbow leading, in her direction. "I would gladly fulfill the duty if need be."

A polite, if amused, smile touched her lips. "I would appreciate that greatly, thank you…" she trailed off, a silent invitation for his name.

"Tobirama. Senju Tobirama, brother of the Hokage," he supplied with a roguish grin. It never hurt to banter around the power behind his name and relations.

"It is nice to meet you, Senju Tobirama." Was it just him, or did she hide a quiver of laughter in that polished tone? Well, no matter.

"Where would my lady like to go today?" the white haired man asked gallantly, indicating the village with a flourish. "There's a lovely little tea shop by the outskirts, secluded and quaint…" His voice grew deeper as he talked, gaining a seductive edge. "I'm sure you would find it to your liking."

"Why, I don't believe you know my name either," she countered, voice polite. "It is only proper to know one another before considering such arrangements." Her voice sent shivers down his spine, it was so cultured and melodic and…

"Then, I do believe it is up to you to enlighten me, my lady."

"Uzumaki Mito. It is a pleasure to meet you, Senju Tobirama. However, I am afraid I must decline your invitation; I have a prior engagement I must be getting to." She extracted her arm from his, with a light pat on his elbow. Tobirama sent her his best puppy dog face, but she wasn't swayed. "I look forward to seeing you around the village." Without a second glance, she turned and walked into the crowd, straight backed and graceful among the milling people.

Tobirama watched her go, admiring her posture. Well, she was in the village for a time, no doubt he'd get a second chance.

* * *

It was after dinner that night Tobirama decided to once again interrogate his brother on the identity of his wife. "C'mon, Hashi, it's not like I'll never meet her. You're setting me up for failure here!"

"I prefer to think of it as keeping her out of your clutches," his brother returned lightly, clasping his hands in front of his body. "Who knows what you'd do when you learned her name."

"Give me a bit more credit than that," Tobirama whined, rolling his eyes as he came up behind his brother. "It's not like I'd steal her from you."

An exasperated smile touched the corners of Hashirama's mouth. "Fine, since you're so persistent, and I know about the chocolate you hid in the office just to bribe me." Tobirama winced slightly. "Uzumaki Mito, one of the strongest women of the Uzumaki clan."

An expression of panic flew across Tobirama's face. Of all the luck in the world! He had to get out of there, before Hashirama ever found out about who exactly had flirted with the newcomer to the village…

"I just remembered, I have to go and…check on the stream!" the white haired man blurted out, rushing away before his brother could question him.

* * *

Hashirama sat in the main room of the large house he had created, staring contemplatively at his fingers. Tobirama had fled like a man with the hounds of hell on his heels, but for all his thinking, the Hokage couldn't find a reason why. Nothing was burning, there had been no complaints of a pervert at the public baths, all the chocolate was accounted for…

A knock on the door broke him out of his thoughts, and the brunet got up to answer. After all, tonight was the night he was expecting his wife, and he had wanted Tobirama to be there to meet her. Oh well, with his brother, plans never went as they were supposed to.

He greeted the woman at the door gladly, inviting her into the large room. "Mito, I trust your trip went well?"

The refined woman in front of him smiled – not the polite smile she gave to anyone she met, but a true expression of happiness meant just for him. "It did. I had a most interesting encounter with a man styling himself Senju Tobirama this afternoon."

"Oh?" Hashirama cocked an eyebrow at his wife. "So you had the pleasure of meeting my brother already? I hope he hasn't scared you off of all Senju men?"

"On the contrary, he was quite charming," Mito replied. A hint of laughter danced in her eyes. "As one would be to a lady he wished to woo."

The Hokage chuckled, able to picture the scene of his brother approaching the collected woman with that familiar smirk on his face. "Did he now."

"I must confess I am surprised he did not recognize my name…?" Mito inquired, cocking her own eyebrow.

"I can't spoil all the fun, can I?" Hashirama grinned like a little boy in a candy shop, then rubbed his hands together and placed one at his wife's back. "Would you be adverse to…messing with my brother's mind?"

A hint of sharp humor shone through the smile. "Not in the least.

* * *

Tobirama eyed the lit house from behind the low wall, searching the windows for any silhouettes. Uzumaki Mito was in the village, and there was no doubt she had gone to see his brother. After all, she was his wife.

The white haired man kicked himself internally. He had flirted with his brother's wife! Alright, he didn't know it was her at the time, but that wouldn't stop Hashirama from taking it out of his hide! The younger Senju could almost hear his brother's angry yells, picture the wooden branches snaking towards him…he knew from long experience that trying to dodge them was futile. He winced. The longer he delayed going back, the worse it would be no doubt. No use psyching himself out with – highly realistic – scenarios of pain.

Or the taking of his chocolate.

Pushing the blasphemous thought out of his mind, Tobirama squared his shoulders and approached the door of the house he shared with his brother with all the dignity of a man going to his final battle and death. At least he could say he went willingly, without Hashirama having to drag him out of hiding. Been there, done that, been laughed at.

He pushed the door open with a slight creak, peering around the wood to see if his brother was in the sitting room. The coast was clear, although there was a light on in the hallway to the kitchen, as well as murmured voices.

He crept down the hallway on cat-soft feet, stopping just outside the rectangle of light on the floor. Sure enough, Uzumaki Mito, the woman he had hit on that day, was sitting at the table holding hands with his brother. Of course at just that moment, Hashirama looked up and saw the younger Senju.

"Tobirama…"

To the white haired man, the word sounded low with rage, and he could almost see the frown knit on the normally calm features.

"It wasn't my fault!" he cried, speeding into the kitchen, which was a much wider space for maneuvering and escaping. "I didn't know! You didn't tell me! How was I supposed to know _she_," he pointed a quivering finger at Mito whose expression was blank, "was your wife? You can't take my chocolate, I won't let you!"

At that the redhead raised an eyebrow, sending a questioning look towards her husband, who squeezed her hand. As Tobirama continued ranting, Hashirama spoke over him. "Uzumaki Mito, meet my brother, Senju Tobirama."

Tobirama stopped in his protestations for a moment, perplexed. "…Eh?" Not the smartest thing to ever come out of his mouth. Surely the woman had told his brother how he had hit on her…

"We've met," Mito nodded politely in his direction once. Hadn't she told him?

"Tobi, I'm glad you decided to help Mito become acquainted with the village," Hashirama told his brother calmly, but Tobirama heard the underlying laughter in the tone. His brother could never hide anything from him!

"You know! You know and you're just making fun of me and," He pointed an accusatory finger at Hashirama, eyes wide in disbelief. "You aren't killing me!"

"Now why would I do a thing like that?" Hashirama sent a crooked grin at his brother who interpreted it perfectly. "I need you very much alive Tobi." Mito's smile was more refined but just as edged with amusement.

"…You're never going to let this go."

"On the contrary, I don't believe anyone need know of the incident," Mito supplied smoothly. "No doubt you agree." The implication of her words was crystal. Blackmail.

With a resigned sigh, Tobirama ran a hand through his hair. "Anything I can do to convince you out of it?"

Hashirama's gleeful expression was that of a brother on Christmas Day.

"Nope."


	316. Coma

I wanted to write Tsunade's time in a coma from both Shizune and her own perspective...I hope I did it justice, because it is a really powerful sequence, for all it's maybe two minutes long altogether.

* * *

Coma

It was an interesting sensation, feeling your body shut down piece by piece, Tsunade decided, collapsed against a rock. Her chakra, encompassing most of her life force, had been drained from her body, sent to help the villagers who were dead or dying and protect the rest. Her duty as the Hokage.

Her mask, her shield against the world, melted from her body as she felt her energy drain even more. Well, at least she had done all she could, unlike the last time she had left the village to its fate. This time, she could take pride in her actions, instead of running away as a coward.

Limply, her hand extended towards her apprentice, Sakura, who was crouched beside her where she slumped. The last thing she saw before her golden eyes closed was Sakura's worried expression.

* * *

Shizune's return to consciousness wasn't the languorous journey of waking up from sleep; it wasn't the sharp adrenaline filled awareness of attention. No, it was painful, drawn out, and very confusing. The last she remembered was standing in the streets watching as the one who called himself Pein floated above them…then imploding walls, roofs, streets…then nothing.

It was different from being unconscious and waking up to a change of scenery. No, it felt as though an indeterminable amount of time had passed that she hadn't been aware of at all. And even when unconscious, a shinobi knew the passage of time…

What was even stranger were the people standing up in the ruins around her. Some she knew should have been dead, but not a single one had even a scratch on them, despite rents and gashes in their clothes. Some were crying and hugging their neighbors tightly, others looking at limbs and appendages with dumbfounded expressions.

"Shizune-san!"

The raven was knocked off her feet by the flying tackle as Ino slammed into her. "I thought you were – we thought you –" The blonde cut herself off, shaking her head as her blue eyes closed tightly. Taking a deep breath, she opened them again, somewhat in control of herself. "I was so worried. I'm glad you're back among us."

Shizune frowned, filing that particular sentence away for investigation at a later date. For now, the last thing she remembered was…"We won?"

Ino's expression brightened noticeably. "Yeah! Naruto came back and saved us. He's gotten really strong." The pride in her voice for her friend was obvious. "Just in time too, Tsunade-sama was challenging Pein…" And just like that the happiness was gone. "Shizune-san, Tsunade-sama…"

Her heart contracted tightly in her chest. That tone and those words were _never _a good combination. Fighting back the breathlessness the feeling caused, Shizune locked eyes with the blonde. "Where is Tsunade-sama? Is she alive?" The two most important questions. She could handle the answers. She could.

"Tsunade-sama survived the attack," Ino began, a hand reaching out to grasp Shizune's elbow firmly as people milled about the pair. "But…you have to come, Shizune-san. Sakura has done all she can."

* * *

There wasn't any time, any light, any sound, any…presence. She drifted, where she was didn't seem to matter, nor exist. It was as though she was simply 'there', although she didn't know where 'there' was. It didn't matter either.

There were times when it seemed as though she were moving upwards, although that was hard to judge when she had no sense of body or direction. Sometimes there were sounds, voices faint that grew louder as she strove to hear them.

"She still hasn't recovered; all we can do is wait."

"But do you have any idea on when she'll wake up?"

"None."

Closer, and softer, she heard another voice. "If she wakes up…it all depends on her."

Then she lost touch with reality again, slipping back into that muffled cocoon where nothing mattered.

* * *

Shizune paced in the tent she had inhabited with Tsunade for the past two weeks. Her mentor, surrogate mother, protector, friend…lay behind her, supine and limp on a futon with the covers drawn up to her chin to hide as much of her body from view as possible.

At first, it had been more of a shock to see Tsunade at her true age, her body showing all the lines and wears of the world, than to find her in a coma. Even when sleeping, the Hokage never let the image fall. For her to do so truly meant that her mind was no longer there.

Then it had registered Tsunade was in a coma of severe chakra depletion, so low her vitals were barely registering. Sakura had pumped part of her own chakra into the blonde, but it did little more than stabilize her. There were no techniques for healing patients from comas; they still didn't understand the inner workings of the mind.

It was very possible she may not come back.

That scared her more than anything. Tsunade had been the rock in her life – a hard to deal with rock, sometimes exasperating, enraging, painful – but a rock nonetheless, a constant presence she could always count on.

Moving over to sit near the blankets Tsunade lay under, Shizune gazed at the lined face. She looked older than her true age, just as the genjutsu made her seem so much younger. Life had been hard. It felt almost wrong to see her true image, as though she was intruding on something sacrosanct. With a barely steady hand, Shizune reached out and brushed a lock of long blonde hair from Tsunade's forehead, revealing the still unblemished skin. Her purple diamond was gone, and it looked just as strange for it to be missing.

"Please come back, Tsunade-sama, I need you here…"

* * *

It wasn't a conscious – or even unconscious – choice to leave her mindscape. After floating in and out of time and conversations, it seemed her mind had decided arbitrarily that it was time to wake up.

It felt strange to go from weightlessness to feeling gravity pushing down upon her body. But at the same time it felt right, being able to sense the chakra in her system once more as a warmth that fought off the bitter cold she hadn't realized affected her until it wasn't there.

There was a tingle on her forehead that signified her Sozo Saisei seal returning, as well as a sensation of her skin settling back into place. All it took was a conscious thought for her body to remember.

Then her chest was compressed tight.

* * *

Shizune sighed inaudibly as she sat in the room they had moved Tsunade to as she continued to show no signs of waking up. Yamato had made the building for all the remaining injured and frail victims of the attack in an awe-inspiring show of strength.

She missed Tsunade more than ever, more than she would have suspected based on her continuous irritation with the woman. Especially with all the events going on in the village and the world, Tsunade was needed as a strong leader. But she was also needed as a person.

There was a soft sound behind her, a change in breathing pattern. Startled, Shizune held her own breath and listened hard; yes, the breathing was faster, and hitched. Could…?

Whipping around, she stared with wide eyes at her mentor, who was looking up at the ceiling. She was _awake_. The raven threw herself forward, needing to hear, to _feel_ that it wasn't a dream. Her ear was by Hokage's mouth as she listened hard, hearing the breathing patterns of the conscious.

"Someone! Anyone! Come, you have to come!" She wasn't sure how she got the words out around the tears, but already she could hear the feet pounding towards the room, the door sliding open. "Tsunade-sama…"

As the medics clamored to question her, Shizune pulled away, barely, wiping at tears that streamed down her face. Everything was so surreal, her emotions slipped their tight leash. Taking a deep breath to try to control herself – and failing – Shizune scrubbed her wrist across her eyes. "She's…Tsunade-sama…"

Unable to hold herself together, the raven fell back across her mentor's body, clinging to the woman tightly. Her full weight rested on Tsunade's chest as one arm slipped under the woman's neck, cradling her head close. Tsunade was too weak to do anything but stare past Shizune's shoulder as she sobbed.

"Tsunade-sama…" She was awake. She was actually awake. Shizune hadn't realized how much she had expected her mentor not to wake up until she had. It was as though a great pit of dread had simply vanished, leaving behind a rush of emotions too entangled to decipher. So instead she sobbed, releasing all the pent up weeks of worry and sorrow.

* * *

Tsunade looked at the ceiling above her, feeling her apprentice's weight pushing across her body. Her weak muscles protested even the slightest movement, but the weight was beginning to put pressure on a body not prepared for it. "Shizune…you're hurting me…"

Shizune shifted her body slightly, not releasing Tsunade's head from where it was being hugged. If she released it, no doubt the blonde would lack the strength to keep it up. It was disconcerting to feel as weak as a new sapling, but even more so to be alive. Not that she minded.

After all, she had done her duty to her village and could die with no regrets; but she was happy not to be. Now, there was too much to lose and leave behind.

As she felt Shizune's body shaking with sobs against her own, tears gathered in the corners of Tsunade's eyes, but didn't spill over. She wanted to raise her arms to comfort her apprentice but couldn't. But at least she was alive.


	317. Different

Thanks to freewolf17 for coming up with and helping me develop the idea =)

* * *

Different

From an outsider's perspective, they looked like the very definition of a separated family; one with no talking, laughing, interaction. One working at the table, one reading in the corner, and one moving around the room, cleaning under this, dusting that, or simply embroidering and knitting.

But to them, it was a comfortable silence, when words weren't needed to pass the time and instead a person could think. It was something Orochimaru had learned to appreciate from an early age, when he saw the other children his age running around screaming and yelling all the time. He could retreat to his house where his parents didn't try to cajole him into talking, curl up with a book in the corner, and listen to the rhythmic clack of needles or the sound of sandpaper being scraped over wood.

Praise wasn't given freely in the household, making it all the sweeter when it was earned. More often than not things were expected to be done, and he wasn't coddled. Keep his room neat, get good grades, eat everything on his plate. Rare were the times received praise, but it was always for something exceptional.

But there were times of laughter and carefree enjoyment as well. When he was four, his father – taciturn and stern as he seemed – had organized a picnic, even going so far as to made and pack all the food. It had been a surprise, as Orochimaru walked back with his mother from that day's visit to the shops, to find his father with a basket in hand waiting at the doorway.

Barely giving the two time to drop off their purchases, he hurried them away from the house, leading his wife and son to a grassy knoll by the river where a blanket already awaited.

That day the small boy had played in the water, watched as his mother teased his father with food and a bracelet of dandelions, learned how to skip rocks until they bounced all the way across the river. His father openly smiled, and even laughed a few times. The food was all meant for bare hands: sandwiches, slices of ripe watermelon – a rarity for their family – rolls, and even a treat of dango. His mother had pulled a dango off the stick and tossed it into the air, seeing if he could catch it with just his mouth. Then it had become a contest, Orochimaru tossing them to his father, father to mother, and mother to him. They had made it to eight rounds before they ran out of dango.

Those uninhibited times were like fireflies in the night, a joy to behold and remember, surrounded by the consistency of the dim sky. But there were more frequent flashes of family bonding, every night.

With a carpenter for a father, wooden furniture was everywhere. But his true passion wasn't the construction of tables and beds, but that of instruments. His mother played the violin, a sweet toned instrument hand crafted for her by her husband on their anniversary.

Orochimaru's father had also crafted a beautiful koto out of a sweet-smelling wood, imported from somewhere past Stone Country. On it, he taught his son how to read music and play its thirteen strings so a beautiful melody emerged. Once he understood the basics enough to play on his own, the fun had truly begun.

Every night without fail, before retiring to their bedtime tasks, the three gathered in the main room of their small home, instruments in hand. His father would pull out a wooden flute he had carved and engraved, holding notes for his son and wife to tune their own instruments. Once that was done, they began to play.

Sometimes it was traditional music, written down for all generations to enjoy, and other times it was pure improvisation, Orochimaru picking out a basic melody and the strains of violin and flute weaving intricate arpeggios and runs around it.

The experience was more than peaceful, it was a way for all three to enjoy each other's company without the necessity of words, and to take joy in the music as it cleared their minds. Any emotions that had disturbed them during the day were channeled into the notes, until all three were serene.

When he was six his parents died, taken from him by bandits on their way back from a trip to one of his father's suppliers. A senseless murder that should have never happened, he swore. And now those peaceful evenings would never happen again. The house was disturbingly quiet, no longer filled with the easy companionship and comfortable silence that had inhabited it before. He had tried picking up his mother's violin once, only to hurl it away the moment the bow touched the strings. It sounded wrong. Tried to play the koto. It felt wrong.

That same night he brought both instruments out to that grassy knoll by the river, and struck a match. As he watched them burn in bright merry colors, the sweet smell given off by the koto penetrating the night air, he swore he would never forget.

At the funeral a week later, Orochimaru fingered the last remaining instrument, his father's flute, where it rested in his pocket, fingers running over the intricate engravings along the shaft. He wouldn't cry for them because he knew what his father would say. But he would remember.


	318. Monopoly

Well, I did say I'd do Monopoly eventually...^^;

* * *

Monopoly

"Why do you get to be the banker?" Jiraiya's incredulous exclamation had Tsunade looking up grinning from where she was counting out the money.

"You snooze, you lose, baka. Besides, you were too busy arguing with Naruto over who gets to be the moneybag."

"Hey, I'll have you know it's a very important piece, and only the best – and eldest – player gets it!"

"Oh, so you're calling yourself old now."

"Baa-chan, that makes you old too!"

"Naruto, you don't tell people that!" Sakura admonished, setting up her own rearing horse piece at the Go square.

Tsunade turned to the blonde, eyes glinting. "Got something to say to the banker, gaki?"

He smiled at her cheesily. "Yeah, gimme my money!"

She grumbled for a few moments, but slapped down a pile of bills in front of each of the three other players. "Here, enjoy your riches while they last."

Jiraiya fanned his bills out, appreciating the many different colors. All of them…"Hey, you short me $500! Lousy banker you are!"

"I did no such thing," Tsunade countered, affronted.

"Yeah you did! Look, I only have one!"

"That's because you're stepping on the other." Sakura pulled the golden bill out from under Jiraiya's sandal. "Don't try to cheat the game."

"It was an honest mistake!"

"Whatever, just let Naruto roll the dice."

"Yeah!" The blond boy scooped up the white cubes and tossed them onto the board, watching intently as they rolled to a stop next to the chance cards. "Seven!" He picked up the moneybag – he had won the argument while Jiraiya was distracted berating Tsunade – and moved it forward until it stopped on a big red question mark. "Take a ride on the Reading," he read off the card, and grinned. "Yeah, free money!" Moving his token backwards two spaces, he grinned innocently and held out his hands to Tsunade. "Money please!"

"Hey, why does he get paid?"

"Because the card said so," Naruto stuck his tongue out at Jiraiya.

"It didn't say that, it only said you read!"

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "He went all the way around the board and passed go. Now get a move on, it's your turn."

"Hey wait a minute, I want to buy it!" Promptly, the blond handed the two hundred dollar bills back to Tsunade as he took the deed to the railroad.

She stared at them as though they were snakes. "Why'd you make me take it out then?"

"Um…"

Jiraiya picked up the dice and shook them. "Ten." He moved to the next corner. "This is boring."

Sakura was the next to follow the trend, rolling her eyes as she scooped up the dice. "Eight." She moved her piece to the light blue property. "I'll buy Vermont for $100." She handed over the light yellow bill to Tsunade who stored it appropriately.

"My turn," the blonde grinned, scooping up the dice and rolling them onto the table. "Double sixes!" Her battleship moved forward to the Electric Company, and $150 made it into the bank under Jiraiya's watchful gaze. "Double threes!" Tennessee Avenue was bought.

"Why does she keep getting to go again?"

"Because doubles gives you an extra turn."

"That's so not fair! I bet you just made that up to help her!"

"Gaki, why would I want to help her?" Naruto's significant look had Tsunade hitting him across the head, hard.

"Hey, baa-chan, that hurt!"

"So?" She grabbed the dice one more time, throwing them onto the board. "Crap, double fours!" Picking up her piece, she placed it in jail next to Jiraiya's thimble. "Why'd you choose the thimble? I didn't know you were a girl," she poked at him, eyebrow raised.

"Why'd she go to jail?"

"Hey, men can know how to sew too! It's a valuable life skill…"

"Why'd she go to jail?"

"So I'll find a flowery apron in your closet, tailored 'just right'?"

"_Why'd she go to jail?"_

"Because she got doubles three times," Sakura finally answered Naruto, who was leaning over the board between the two Sannin, arms gesturing dramatically.

"…Eh?"

"Just go with it," she sighed, passing him the dice. "Your turn."

Five rounds of the board later and things were finally happening, to Jiraiya's eternal happiness. He, of course, had two monopolies through judicious exercises of luck…and bribes. Naruto had managed to grab three of the railroads, with Sakura obtaining the last, and Tsunade was left with Boardwalk, both utilities, and one each of red, orange, and purple. And no money.

"I'll take nine houses!" Jiraiya announced brightly, handing over the pertinent amount of money to Tsunade, who glared at it as though it were a rat about to bite her. The green houses were slapped into his hand hard enough to dent the skin, and were duly placed three each on the yellows.

Sakura eyed them warily from where her piece sat on the B&O Railroad. "Come on…six…" No such luck. Her dice landed her squarely on Marvin Gardens, the most expensive of the three. "I don't suppose you'll take a check?" she asked, shelling out the money.

"Not a chance," Jiraiya gloated, adding the bills to his already large stack and running a possessive thumb over the edges. "Tsunade, how much money you have over…what are you doing?"

Tsunade didn't look up from where she was writing something on a piece of paper. "Being the banker."

"I thought the banker only gave out money?" Naruto asked, confused.

With a grin, Tsunade plopped a nice sign in front of herself, grabbing $3000 from the bank. "No one said there can't be loans."

"You can't do that, it's cheating!"

"The bank authorized it, it's not cheating!"

"Monopoly doesn't have IOUs!"

"How would you know, it's your first time playing!"

"If you get loans, we all get loans!"

"Banker says no," she stuck her tongue out at the pinkette. "Deal with it."

"Fine. If you get an IOU, I want the utilities," Naruto announced, holding out his hands. "It's not like you're using them anyways."

"Fine." Tsunade scribbled out the number on the paper, wrote in a larger one, and handed over the electric and water companies. "So Jiraiya, what do you say to $1000 for Illinois and Kentucky?"

His eye twitched. "You can't do that!"

"So you don't want the money?"

"I never said that," he snatched the floating bills out of the air.

Sakura sat on the side, looking distraught at the blatant rule breaking. "But you can't do that!"

All three other players turned to grin at the pinkette, competition evident in their eyes. "Whoever said we had to play by the rules?"

Naruto turned back to the board. "I'm landing on North Carolina next...who was drunk when they came up with _that_ name…"

"You say something gaki?"

"Only that you owe me for gracing your hotel with my presence, Sakura-chan!"

"It doesn't –!" Sakura cut herself off before she repeated herself. "You know what, forget it." She grabbed the remaining properties in the middle of the board and threw her cash at Tsunade. "Play away, I'll take my dues when they come."

Jiraiya eyed her with a modicum of respect. "Now you're getting it!"


	319. Nyan Cat

Again thanks to freewolf17 for a fun idea ^^ I feel the need to say I love cats, I would never do this to a poor cat, and I intend to go pet seven of said cats the moment I get home. And Kabu is Tora's ancestor =)

* * *

Nyan Cat

"Tobirama-sensei, I'm _bored!" _Koharu whined, rolling her back against the tree she was leaning on. "Why can't we do something _fun_?"

Tobirama rolled his eyes from where he sat cross-legged on the grass next to Homura, testing the boy's chakra control. "We can't go on a mission outside the village because Hashi has to work," he informed the girl…again. "And you didn't want to go to the forest."

"That's because the forest is boring!"

"What's so boring about giant snakes trying to eat you?" Sarutobi wanted to know from where he was hanging upside down from a tree branch. "I don't see why sensei decided to make them so big in the first place…"

"Because it never changes," Koharu retorted, crossing her arms. At the corner of her vision, she saw a flash of brown and red, moving along the border of the path back to the village. "Hey, it's Kabu!"

Immediately Tobirama shot up from his place on the ground, looking around wildly. "Demon cat? Where?"

Homura opened one eye to send a glare at his sensei. "Calm down, it's just a cat."

"It's not just a cat, that malicious furball nearly took out my eye!"

Sending a glance between Tobirama and the cat, Koharu began to grin. "Sensei, do cats always land on their feet?" The white haired man sent her a puzzled look.

Sarutobi released the chakra in his own feet, turning in the air and dropping to the ground lightly. "Why?"

"I know the perfect way to test it. Sensei," she officiously pointed to Tobirama who raised an eyebrow at the much smaller girl who was supposed to be his student, "will trap Kabu, then we'll drop him from the top of the Hokage Monument!"

"Wait, why do I have to deal with the demon cat?"

Sarutobi stared at his teammate for a moment, and she just grinned back, a devilish glint in her eye. "That could be called animal torture…but I hate that cat. I'm in."

From his position on the ground, Homura glared up at both his teammates. "I will have no part in this. You two can get in trouble on your own time." In a fluid movement, he stood up and began walking away. "I'm going to go visit Hashirama-sensei."

"Stick-in-the-mud!" Koharu yelled after him, voice mocking. The brown haired boy ignored her, continuing on his way determined to find some plausible alibi so as not to get caught up in his team's punishment when they were inevitably caught. He had learned that lesson the first time. "C'mon sensei, don't wimp out now!"

Wondering how he seemed to be bossed around by his young student when _he _was supposed to be the one in charge – not that it was much fun to take that role, it was much easier for him to let Hashirama be the 'leader' and just play along – Tobirama advanced towards the cat, signaling Sarutobi to get ready on the left.

Before the unsuspecting victim could react, he dumped half a pond of water on the cat, which yowled and jumped straight up into the air – to be snagged by a flying net sent by Sarutobi. Easy. "Now what?"

There was nothing nice about Koharu's grin. "Now we make it easy to see."

* * *

Ten minutes later the trio were standing on top of the Hokage Monument, Sarutobi holding a squirming rainbow monstrosity in his hands. Each had taken part in painting the poor cat a variety of colors, until its fur was dyed in every possible shade. Sarutobi had even gone so far as to put a clown grin on its muzzle, making the cat look like a hideous nightmare from some child's dreams.

"Who's going to check it actually landed on its feet?" Tobirama asked doubtfully, staring the long distance down to the ground. "Or that it even survives."

"Thanks for volunteering sensei!" Koharu clapped him on the lower back, the only part of the man she could reach above his waist. "Remember not to catch it though!"

"Now wait just a minute –"

"You wouldn't leave us poor defenseless genin to Kabu's ravaging claws, would you?" she asked innocently, doing her best 'cute child' pose. It always worked.

Grumbling under his breath, the white haired man took one more look at the distance to the ground, then a precautionary one at his brother's office window to make sure they weren't being watched. "If the cat dies, I'll make sure you're on D-ranks for a month," he informed Koharu. "Don't think I won't."

"That means you'll have to do them too!"

There was nothing nice about his grin either. "I'm the Hokage's brother." He reappeared at street level far below his brother's face jutting out from the rock. "Ready to drop?"

"Ready!" Sarutobi called back, lugging the still struggling cat closer to the edge. "Three…two…now!"

He let the feline go, and immediately Kabu dropped like a stone, protesting his treatment loudly the whole way down. He fell fast, rainbow body flailing and turning in the air. It was only a few seconds before he made contact with the ground, and didn't move.

"Did it work sensei?" Koharu called, cupping both hands around her mouth.

"The furball landed on his feet alright," Tobirama called back. "I think he's stunned though!"

"Wake him up!"

"The things I do for these kids…" he grumbled to himself, running through a few hand seals again. About a bucket's worth of water appeared above the cat and fell onto the stunned feline, causing it to shoot up into the air, soaked and screeching protest. Then Kabu's eyes locked on the target in front of him. "Oh no you don't you wretched cat! Get off me! Get off!"

* * *

High above at his office window, Hashirama had been alerted by the cat's yowl as to something going on outside his office, and turned from the intellectual conversation he had been having with Homura. He was just in time to see a rainbow blur fly past his window on a quick descent. He got to the window just in time to see Tobirama dump water on the poor feline, and it attack his brother.

"The things he does to that cat!" Narrowing his eyes, Hashirama turned to his student. "Excuse me, Homura, I must deal with my brother." He stalked out of the room, already formulating plots in his head on how to best punish the younger Senju. His favorite was binding Tobirama to the floor with branches and letting the cat go at it for revenge.

Homura merely sighed and shook his head, grabbing a scroll from the bookshelves nearby and settling down to wait. It was going to be a while.


	320. Marry Me

Strange experiences are strange. The interesting situations life throws at you that you can turn into hilarious stories...

* * *

Marry Me

The first time, she was just shocked.

Sure, as the Shodaime's granddaughter, Nidaime's great-niece, and Sandaime's student, she had always had admirers around just for her connections. As she grew out of her preteen years the boys began to flock about her even more, but she brushed them off as nuisances in the way of her training.

From time to time the foolish males would ask her out on a date or try to woo her affections with presents or flowers, but they quickly learned the folly of such actions. Senju Tsunade did not have the time to devote to such mundane concerns. No, she would accomplish greater things.

So accustomed was she to the rhythm that when it was disrupted, all she could do was stare at the perpetrator. "What?"

"I asked, would you," he repeated, looking around nervously at the few other boys gathered around the two, "Senju Tsunade, marry me?"

He couldn't be more than fifteen to her sixteen, and here the boy was, having the gall to kneel on knee before her and ask her to _marry_ him! She didn't even recognize him! She was sure her jaw had dropped and her eyes were wide with disbelief – both at the question itself as well as the ridiculous situation.

It took her a moment to regain her senses, and when she did, disgust and anger swept through her. "No, of course not!" She stalked away, leaving the boy there surrounded by his now laughing friends.

* * *

The second time, she was flattered.

She was recognized throughout the village for more than just her lineage now, and her accomplishments were being talked about around the continent. Konoha's Slug Princess, they called her, up and coming medical specialist. Soon, she would take her place in Konoha's hospital.

She had just met a nice man, a little older than herself, who didn't seem interested in her for her power and wasn't stupid enough to spark her anger. Her little brother liked him too, always a huge mark in her book.

They were sitting by the river when he leaned over and caught her hand in his, garnering her attention. "Tsunade…"

"Dan?"

"I've only known you a few weeks now, but I can already tell you're the one for me. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Tsunade froze. Sure he was nice and all, but it had only been a few weeks, not even long enough to tell if she wanted him to stick around for a year. But then again, he actually knew the real her and seemed to be serious.

Extricating her hand, Tsunade laid it on Dan's cheek. "I'm flattered, I really am. But I think it's a bit too fast to even think about that step yet. Give me some more time?"

And like the gentleman he was, Dan smiled and said "All the time that you need. The offer still stands."

* * *

The third time she was incredulous.

"Kisuke-san, I think you must be delusional."

"I'm no such thing!" the middle-aged shinobi defended, shaking a scarred finger at her face. "I know you're the nice girl who's been taking care of me all these months, you've got a nice touch!"

"Be that as it may, Kisuke-san, that does not mean that –"

"Put that clipboard down and come over here!"

Tsunade let out a breath. "Kisuke-san, I'm just here to check up on you. If you're feeling better –"

"I'll feel better if you come over here and listen to me!"

Rolling her eyes Tsunade did so, keeping her clipboard up to ensure Kisuke remembered why she was there in the first place.

"Now," the elder man began, tugging on the blonde's sleeve, "you're the nice girl who's been taking care of me, and seems to me you've got a gentle touch and a good heart. My wife's been dead these ten years, and it's lonely around my house. I need a woman to keep things straight, you know?"

Tsunade screwed her eyes shut. That was what she thought he had said the first time. She pulled her arm away from his grasping fingers and took two safe steps away from the bed. "Look, Kisuke-san. I'm sure you know the gossip, and I'm dating someone right now." She held up a hand to forestall his comment. "That means I'm not going to be marrying _anyone_ for a few years at least. I'm glad you're feeling better and I'll give your paperwork to the desk. Have a good day."

Before he could respond she left the room, trying hard not to mutter under her breath about old men who were attracted to a kind hand.

* * *

The fourth time it was an effort to keep a straight face.

"Now, young lady, you seem fresh outa your little village and sure you could use a guiding hand," the man slurred, slinging an arm over Tsunade's shoulders where she sat at the bar.

The downside of constantly looking young, she mused, especially at a place men were constantly drunk, was she got mistaken for a young girl new to the wide world. Nothing could be further from the truth.

"Sorry, I'm not looking for an escort," she told him, easily unwinding his loose grip from around her neck. "Why don't you go find your buddies and get another bottle going."

"Now that ain't the way for a pretty girl like you to talk," he countered, somehow managing to get himself onto the high stool next to her. "See, I know me way around this place, and sure you could use a safe place to stay the night." He winked. "It ain't a cold one either."

Somehow the situation just seemed a bit ridiculous, and she fought against the urge to laugh. There was something downright hilarious about a woman of her past being hit on by a drunk at the bar.

He mistook her silence for consideration. "Tell you what, I'll up the ante. You come on back with me, and we'll get you a rock, a house, mebbe even one of them small yappy dogs to take care of."

It was definitely a struggle not to let her face betray her. "That's a kind offer," she choked out, hoping he was too drunk to notice the change in her voice. "But I'm sure my brother wouldn't take kindly to me up and marrying the first strange man I met. If you asked him instead though…" she pointed across the room to a very large muscular man who was slamming down his saucer and calling loudly for more sake, "I'm sure he'd consider it."

The drunk blanched. "Sorry hon, you ain't that much of a catch." He ambled away back to his buddies, and Tsunade rolled her eyes. Honestly.

* * *

The fifth time she fell off her chair and couldn't stop laughing.

Jiraiya stared at her, puzzled, as Tsunade slid off the hard wooden surface of her official seat and splayed on the floor, her body convulsing with mirth.

"It really wasn't that funny…" he told her, confused. "Honestly, Tsunade, if you can't take it seriously –"

"Do you…have any idea…how many times…I've been asked that now?" she managed to gasp, blonde hair falling across her face as she struggled for breath against the onset of more laughter.

He stared at her, still confused and a little hurt. "If that's it then…" he turned to leave the office, but she slowly pulled herself off the floor, relying on the desk's sturdy edge for balance.

"Look, Jiraiya…" she caught herself as another bubble of laughter escaped. "It's not that it wasn't eloquent or romantic, but you're the fifth guy to say that to me." Another flare of hurt and a bit of anger flashed into his eyes. "Besides, yours beats most of the ones I've gotten." She rolled her own golden eyes. "Trust me."

"Oh?" he asked, unable to fight the curiosity despite his heart telling him to get out of there.

Tsunade raised a hand. "There was the fifteen-year-old who did it to impress his friends, Dan after three weeks of dating," she ticked off on her fingers. "The sick guy at the hospital, the drunk at the bar looking for a young girl to take home, and now you." He stared at her, one eyebrow quirked in disbelief. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure you rank near the top."

It took a few seconds, but their eyes met and Tsunade burst out laughing again, Jiraiya joining in after a few seconds at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. He had imagined second, maybe third at most, but fifth? Apparently she was more popular than he had thought. Besides, perhaps after so many rejections…

From her place leaning against the wooden desk, a grin tugging at her lips, Tsunade told him "I'm still not going to marry you."


	321. Innocent

Idea by Star Josherson =) Thanks so much, this was tons of fun to write!

* * *

Innocent

"Should I tell her?"

"You know how she would react."

"But doesn't she deserve to know?"

A sigh. "I won't advise you one way or the other; just be careful."

"I don't know…"

"Just don't let her find out from someone else."

"You're right. I'll tell her tomorrow."

"Good luck." _You're going to need it._

* * *

Tsunade stared at the young woman in front of her, fighting valiantly to keep from yelling bloody murder. Instead, her right eyebrow twitched rhythmically, the only outward sign of the raging battle in her mind. _She did not just say that. I know she did not just say **that**_**.**

"Sakura, would you care to repeat what you just said?" the blonde asked, voice honey sweet.

Already wary, Sakura took another step back towards the door behind her. "Shishou…I'm pregnant."

"And who would the father be?" Again with that tone that made Sakura look as though she wanted to run for the hills. Tsunade wasn't pissed at her student and surrogate daughter, oh no. It was whoever touched her that was going to die a slow and very painful death.

"Shishou, I don't think –"

"Sakura. Give me a name."

"Tsunade-shishou, it's not really his fault, you don't have to –"

The glare Tsunade pinned the pinkette with was enough to make her stutter to a halt in her defense of the unknown male. "Listen to me and listen to me well, Sakura. You will tell me the name of whoever…" she twisted her face in a grimace, the usual clinical terms failing when used with someone she cared about, and was saved from having to continue when Shizune walked into the office. "Shizune!"

The raven looked up from the files she was carrying and saw Sakura standing in front of the desk, hands nearly white from wringing them so hard. "Oh…"

The Hokage jumped on that small word. "You knew too? How long have you both known? Weeks? Why wasn't I informed? And for Kami's sake, who is the father?"

Shizune sent a guilty look at Sakura, then turned to face her mentor. "It was Sakura's business, Tsunade-sama. With all due respect, she had to become accustomed to the news first, and I was the one to examine her."

A finger was leveled at the assistant. "That doesn't tell me who the father is!" Without waiting for either to answer, she continued "if neither of you will tell me who he is, I will simply have to find out myself!" _And heaven help him when I do, because nothing else will save him. _In a sweep of green she was past the two younger women and striding out the door, the promise of pain radiating off her threateningly.

Sakura sent a panicked look at Shizune. "Do you think I should warn him?"

"That would lead her straight to him," Shizune replied, voice trembling a little. Tsunade's reaction was a bit stronger than either had anticipated. "If you want to keep him in one piece, don't even approach him."

* * *

Tsunade stormed up to Naruto, gripping her boy's collar firmly in both hands. "Was it you? Gaki I swear you had better not lie to me or you won't be eating solid foods for a month!" She shook him for emphasis, manicured nails digging into the tough fabric.

"W-Woah! Baa-chan!" The blond tried to edge away, but his feet were barely touching the ground as it was. "What did I do? I swear I didn't prank anybody, and I even paid for Ero-sennin's ramen!"

"Don't play dumb!" Another shake and a fierce glare. "Sakura! Was it you?"

"Is Sakura-chan hurt?" Immediately concern imprinted itself on Naruto's features. "Is she in the hospital? Baa-chan, what's wrong with her!"

Instead of answering, the Hokage searched his face, scrutinizing it for any sign of dishonestly or withheld information, but found only radiating worry. "Well if it wasn't you, who was it then?" she muttered to herself, dropping Naruto to the ground and turning away…only to run straight into Jiraiya.

"What were you doing to Naruto?" the toad sage asked, frowning down at his teammate. "He didn't do anything today, let him be."

Perfect, someone who knew a little about everyone. Channeling chakra into her hand, Tsunade grabbed Jiraiya by his jacket and dragged a few hundred feet away from a very confused looking Naruto. "You're the spymaster, tell me you knew about this."

"Knew about what?" he asked, exasperated and irritated. "Woman, you aren't making any sense."

Sending a glare back at Naruto to make sure he stayed out of earshot, the blonde hissed "That Sakura is pregnant!"

_"What?"_

Well damn, apparently he didn't know. "Come on, you must have heard _something _with all that peeping you do," Tsunade almost pleaded, still not releasing the toad sage. "I just need to know who did it."

"So you can beat him into a bloody pulp that won't leave the hospital for a year?" Jiraiya asked shrewdly. Her silence was enough of an answer. "I can't believe you think I'd betray my own gender like that. And what about Sakura? What will she think if you do that?"

Tsunade's fist tightened as her eyes narrowed. "Right now I don't care what my darling apprentice thinks. _Someone_ did this and until I find out who, heads are going to roll! And if you think that by playing valiant you're going to escape…"

"Hey, it takes two to tango, you can't just take it out on the guy," Jiraiya raised his hands. "Besides, it's not like taking a punch would be new for me."

Her fist was halfway on its journey before she forcibly stopped it. "Fine. But don't think I won't find out! I always do." With that threat hanging in the air, Tsunade stormed away towards the village, protective fury radiating off her tense body in waves.

* * *

"Is it safe to come out now?"

"Yeah, just don't go back to the village for a few days, maybe weeks."

"But Sakura's there!"

"Gaki, did you see her? You show your face and she finds out, she'll rip you limb from limb."

"But Sakura –"

"I'll tell your girl; you work on staying alive."

"Isn't she overreacting a bit? Sakura's pregnant; I'd have thought she'd be happy."

'This is Tsunade we're talking about. All she sees is her surrogate daughter isn't innocent anymore. There's nothing more dangerous than an enraged mother."

"Especially with chakra punches."

"Exactly."


	322. Interrogation

I've been meaning to say this for a couple days now, but this story has finally reached over 100k hits! 6 figures! I am so happy, I could hug you all ^^ Thank you so much for reading!

In other news, this is the continuation of yesterday's story, and there will be one tomorrow =)

* * *

Interrogation

Tsunade's pen tapped an irritated rhythm on the desk, channeling her fury and annoyance at the lack of answers she had received that day. She knew Sakura was pregnant; after storming through the village in an attempt to find the father, she had insisted she check out her pink haired student herself. Sure enough, there was a tiny chakra signature nestled within the younger woman.

If only a technique had been developed to tell a child's parents through chakra signature…her world would be complete. But it was not to be, Tsunade mused as her pen tapped even faster. Well, if people wouldn't tell her, she'd just have to find out herself.

"Shizune!" she called, head snapping up from the blank scroll she was looking at. "Shizune!"

"Hai, Tsunade-sama?" Shizune's reply came floating through the wooden door, half a minute before the woman herself. She took one look at the blonde behind the desk and inwardly cringed. Nothing good happened when her mentor got that look in her eye.

"Shizune, I need you to get me Naruto. Now."

"Tsunade-sama, he's training with Jiraiya –"

"Did I phrase that as a request?"

"…Hai, Tsunade-sama." She just prayed the blond wouldn't give anything he shouldn't away; they were on thin ice as it was. At least she'd be able to warn Jiraiya that Tsunade was about to start her search.

* * *

"Now, Naruto, I need you to tell me everywhere you saw Sakura go in the past couple days."

Eyebrows furrowed over bright blue eyes. "Will this help you figure out what's wrong with her?"

Tsunade suppressed a smirk. "Yes, I think I can safely say this will help a lot with me figuring that out."

"If you're sure…" He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, lips moving as he thought. "Well, she was at the training grounds with Neji's team, and she was at the barbeque place, and…on that hill Shikamaru goes to." He opened his eyes. "That's everywhere."

Tsunade quirked an eyebrow at him. "You follow her around all day or something?"

The blond fidgeted, tugging at his jacket. "Ero-sennin said it would be good practice for me, to make a clone and have it go around all day. So he told me to follow someone!"

The Hokage fought to keep her predator's grin from spreading even wider. "Believe me; I think it's helping plenty."

* * *

The double doors of the barbeque joint slammed open, letting in the blonde whirlwind. Green coat billowing behind her, Tsunade stalked up to the large teenager sitting in a booth, carefully turning his beef kabob, and gripped him by the scarf around his neck.

"So, Akimichi," she began conversationally, not seeming to notice the wide eyes he turned on her at her sudden appearance. "I heard my Sakura-chan came here a few days ago. Is there something you'd like to share?" He stared at her, too stunned to even open his mouth. "No? Not even why she came here in the first place?"

"I promised I'd treat her to some barbeque." The words fell out of Chouji's mouth as he arched upwards slightly, trying to release some of the strain on the scarf. "I lost a bet!"

"Is that all? You aren't perhaps leaving out the fact that you and she are in a relationship?" Chouji's face immediately flushed red and he began to sputter.

"I-I…w-we, no! Sakura isn't interested in me, and besides I…" he cut himself off, blushing even more furiously.

Tsunade was disappointed. Her initial guess had been wrong, but where was the fun in being right the first time? It obviously wasn't Chouji. Without another word she left both booth and restaurant, leaving a still stammering Chouji in her wake.

Her next stop wasn't very far away at all, and her prey was easy to find. Shikamaru blinked his eyes open as a shadow blocked the light from reaching them, and saw Tsunade glaring down at him. _Mendokuse_. "Can I help you, Hokage-sama?"

"You can tell me why Sakura was here, and if I even think you're lying you'll be on D-rank missions for a month, Nara."

Oh, nothing about that was good. Black eyebrows furrowed in thought as Shikamaru tried to place why Tsunade would even be asking, but drew a blank. So he didn't hold anything back, not that there was much to tell. "She came here to ask if Ino was in the village, because she wasn't at the flower shop. She said something about running an errand for Lee." He gave as expressive of a shrug as he could while lying flat on the ground. "That's it."

Tsunade ground her teeth. So far, the two boys she had talked to seemed pretty smooth with their explanations. Maybe it was time to up the ante a bit. "Very well," she bit out, turning on one tall heel in the grass. "And Nara, you had better not be late for your debriefing tomorrow." She ignored his muttered curse.

_Finally, a bit of luck_. Not only were all three members of Team Gai present at their normal training field, but Kiba, Shino, and Hinata were there as well, visiting their friends. _Four birds with one stone._

"Hokage-sama," Neji acknowledged as he saw Tsunade's approach, bowing slightly at the waist. "What may we do for you?"

Tsunade gave the expectant teenagers a crooked grin. "Well first off you can answer me something, Hyuuga. Did you get Sakura pregnant?"

Hinata's soft gasp cut through the silence that followed that question, and Neji's normally imperturbable expression cracked. "Excuse me?"

"Guess not. Inuzuka, was it you? Aburame?" She pinned Lee with a look. "You? One of you better start speaking now, or heads are going to roll." To emphasize her point one heel stomped the ground and the earth split slightly. Tenten and Hinata stared at the blonde woman with identical shocked expressions.

"Hokage-sama, it is highly unlikely any of us are the father of Haruno-san's child," Shino spoke up, voice emanating from the depths of his hood.

A vigorous nod from Lee confirmed that statement. "While it is quite youthful for Sakura-san to be participating in the miracle of life, I for one must deny any involvement!"

Neji was still staring at the Hokage, white eyes wide, as Tenten's glare switched between the Hokage and her teammate.

"Well if it wasn't any of you, then –"

"Ano, Tsunade-sama…" Hinata's soft voice broke Tsunade's rant. "I know Sakura-san has been meeting Sai-san recently and often. Perhaps…" she trailed off, too shy to finish the sentence.

Sai? Yes, that was possible. She hadn't sent the artist out on any missions recently, and he was on Sakura's team as well. From what she had seen, the pinkette was finally warming up to the blunt teenager. Well.

She turned on her heel and stormed away, determined to track down the Root artist, as Tenten's voice began to rise in the background, questioning Neji on exactly _why_ the Hokage had thought he was the father!

It was only afterwards that Tsunade realized Kiba hadn't said a word the whole time.


	323. Inherited

No I didn't flat out give you the name of the guy, that'd just be too easy! But I think I did leave enough hints you should be able to tell which of the two it was ^^ Sorry for the non-people-name conversations...too fun to resist!

Hope you guys like it!

* * *

Inherited

"You shouldn't have come!"

"Sakura, this kind of worry isn't good for you or the baby."

"I'll be more worried if she finds you and you end up in a coma for a year!"

"I won't let it come to that."

"Do you know Tsunade-shishou at _all?_"

* * *

"One way or another you're going to tell me what you know."

"It's not my place to disclose Sakura's information. Doctor-patient confidentiality –"

"Screw doctor-patient confidentiality! This is my apprentice, and my employee, and I'm the head of the hospital! You _will_ tell me!"

"If you want the answers that much, you know where the files are."

"_Those don't tell me who the father is."_

* * *

Tsunade was completely fed up with the mystery surrounding her apprentice. She wanted _blood_ and one way or another she was going to find her victim, be it the Inuzuka or the Root boy. If no one was going to tell her which one to hunt, then she would just have to find out from the source.

Sakura, beware.

Muttering, the blonde ran her finger down the hospital shift schedule, knowing Sakura was signed up to be on sometime during that day, if for shorter hours than usual. Under protest, the pinkette had accepted her reduced work schedule, something Tsunade had handed her the day after the announcement.

_"You don't get to pick and choose which parts of this situation you want."_

_"But shishou –"_

_"I don't care what you say Sakura, you aren't working twelve hour shifts anymore. Either you accept these hours, or you stop working at the hospital altogether until the baby is born."_

_"Shishou!"_

_"Take it or leave it Sakura."_

Reluctantly, Sakura had agreed to the hours although she had made her position very clear. She still had eight hours a day at the hospital however, which somewhat mollified the younger woman.

Perfect. She was on duty right now, which meant Tsunade knew exactly where to find her. Doing rounds in the – ironically – neonatal unit. "Shizune!"

"Hai, Tsunade-sama?" the raven looked up from the scrolls of new potential missions she was sorting through.

"I'm going to the hospital. If anyone needs me, they can wait, understood?"

Shizune narrowed her eyes at her mentor. There was absolutely no reason for the Hokage to go to the hospital unless she still meant to pursue the matter of whoever Sakura's baby's father was. Trying to stop the woman was pointless, and Sakura knew how to take care of herself. "Hai."

The anticipation and irritation left in the woman's wake as she stormed out, heels clicking against the floor and blonde hair bouncing against her back. In the now silent room, Shizune let out a sigh and watched the door close behind Tsunade. _Sakura, you had better hope he's gone by the time she gets there._

* * *

By the time she reached the third floor of the hospital, Tsunade had pretty much cooled off. Yes, her Sakura was pregnant; yes that meant _someone_ else was partially responsible for the state. But Sakura had at least seemed happy about breaking the news, so if whoever the boy was made her happy…where was Tsunade's own right to make his life miserable? Nowhere, that's where.

She owed it to her apprentice to at least accept the pinkette's decision and relationship, even if it didn't make her happy as both Hokage and the woman who had looked out for Sakura these past six years. So she could do this. She could ask politely after Sakura's health, and get a full answer to who the father was as long as she didn't act violent.

Ahead of her in the long hallway, she could see the pinkette standing with a clipboard in hand, hair bound up in a tight bun to keep it out of her face. She was talking to someone in dark clothes, too far away to see a face or any distinguishing features. Just a patient probably, or someone visiting a friend in the hospital, it happened all the time.

At least, those were the thoughts going through Tsunade's head right before whoever it was leaned forward and kissed Sakura lightly, and rested a hand on her stomach.

The Hokage saw red. "_You!"_ she roared, hands immediately clasping into tight fists as chakra flowed through her extremities. Oh, that boy was so dead. "You're the one responsible!" The blonde charged down the hall, honey eyes fixed only and solely for the one who had _dared_ touch her apprentice.

"Tsunade-shishou!" Sakura turned, an expression of shock and anxiety on her features. She reached out a hand and stepped to the side, trying to block Tsunade.

Her beau didn't waste any time either, whispering something quickly to the teenager before turning and fleeing in the opposite direction. His dark clothes and long sleeves and pants were a distinct contrast against the white walls, providing a perfect target for Tsunade's rage.

She sidestepped Sakura who desperately tried to slow or stop the Hokage's progress. "Tsunade-sama, please don't!"

Tsunade paused for only a second next to her student, eyes still tracking the boy who was fleeing her wrath. She had no doubts about her ability to catch him and make his life living hell. "You'll understand in eighteen years."

She took off, green coat flapping behind her as she tore through the hallways of the hospital. There was nowhere he could run that she wouldn't find him.

* * *

"Were you able to get him out?"

"That boy is lucky you told me she went hunting, she was right on his tail. If she'd caught up to him…"

"He wouldn't be leaving that hospital for months, and she'd keep Sakura from checking on him probably."

"Yeah. One place you don't ever want to be is on the wrong side of Hime's temper. But the gaki is safe for now. Fool move if you ask me. I'll keep him from going back for a few weeks; give her time to settle down."

"Like that will happen until the baby is born."

"Hey you can always hope."

"Sakura told me he thought he could deal with Tsunade."

"Really? Boy's more stupid than I thought, and that ain't saying much after how he fought Naruto."

"He'll learn eventually."

"Yeah, if he survives long enough to see his kid born. I swear that stupidity is inherited."

"…"

"Oh Kami, that poor kid."


	324. Rumors

Possibly a little confusing because I'm trying to set it up for tomorrow without giving anything much away. So - there's a rumor in the village, and it has something to do with Tenten. Ino, the gossip queen, offers her help. Hope that clears up any confusion.

* * *

Rumors

Tenten twitched again, watching the tenth person that day pass her by with a sidelong glance, probably thinking the kunoichi wouldn't notice the interest.

Fat chance of that.

Not when it had started with the whispers and the furtive looks, people running around the street to murmur in their neighbor's ear, stopping in their path to eye the brunette with interest.

Her only consolation was that apparently _he_ wasn't aware of it yet, and this was only made better by the fact he had been out of the village for the past four days. Since one day before the rumors had started.

Lee and Gai weren't aware of them either, although how much of that was attributed to people just not wanting to approach the spandex-clad duo as their innate ignorance capabilities was up for questioning. No doubt if they had gotten wind, things would be a whole lot worse by now.

Well, if people had nothing better to do than gossip about matters that didn't concern them, she would just ignore them. They weren't worth her time and effort, and frankly only one of them had a decent proficiency with sharp pointy objects, and it wasn't the gossipers.

Right.

That plan would have gone great if _Ino_ of all people hadn't walked up to Tenten where she stood in the center of Team Gai's training grounds. Of course in retrospect she shouldn't have been surprised it was Ino; after all, the girl was Konoha's gossip queen, but still.

The surprise did come in what the blonde said. "Who started it and who do I have to take over?"

Tenten stopped from where she was readying her bo staff for another series of strikes at the tree in front of her. "Pardon?"

"Oh come off it; there's no way you haven't heard the rumors going around." Ino waved her hand dismissively. "So who started it? Don't try to tell me you don't know."

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about," Tenten retorted, lunging forward with her staff to hit at the five marked points on the tree. Dead on for each. "You must have –"

"Does this sound familiar?" Ino leaned forward and whispered five words in Tenten's ear. And the brunette saw red. Ino watched Tenten's reaction, noting the clenched fists on the length of wood in her hands and the absolute rage that overtook her countenance. "I guess you do know what I'm talking about." The Yamanaka quirked an eyebrow.

"Fine," Tenten ground out, turning her head incrementally to glare at the younger woman. "What do you suggest?"

The smile that spread over Ino's face was anything but nice. "This is my domain of expertise. You can't just go out and hit it with a stick."

Tenten screwed up her eyes in annoyance, but nodded her acquiescence. Ino was right; you couldn't hit a rumor with a weapon of any sort. It was like a malignant cloud of poison, always growing bigger and infesting more people while at the same time proving impossible to combat with physical means. Oh, you could hit the people spreading it, but that didn't do any good except to get you arrested for aggravated assault. Something she definitely didn't need.

"So, sit down and tell me everything you know about it."

"Not much," Tenten admitted, settling cross-legged in front of Ino on the training ground grass. She idly picked up a kunai sticking out of the dirt and began to clean under her fingernails. "I don't know who started it, and I don't even know where they got the information. Which isn't true!" _Not that I don't wish it wa_s_._ But that was a matter for another time. What mattered now was that Neji never got wind of what people were saying.

Ino pursed her lips. "That's not much to go on. Luckily for you, I have some contacts in the village. Give me a day and I'll have a name, a reason, and a juicy rumor to combat the whole thing for you."

Tenten raised an eyebrow at the blonde. "What will it cost me?" She knew better than to even think Ino did anything out of the good of her own heart. Well, that wasn't strictly true. Ino did many things for her friends, but anything to do with gossip came with a price, blatant or not.

"Me?" The Yamanaka raised an offended hand to her chest. "I can't believe you would accuse me of something like that." She waited a beat, then smirked when Tenten didn't stop looking at her. "I want all the juicy details of course."

"There won't be any," the brunette warned, flicking her kunai up into the air and watching as it thunked down perfectly next to her knee in the grass.

Ino smiled condescendingly, reaching over to pat Tenten's knee. "Oh, trust me honey, there will be."


	325. Counter Rumors

Hopefully this clears up anything from yesterday...Thanks to Kaiser969 for the idea =)

* * *

Counter Rumors

"Young lady, what have you done?" Hiashi's cold voice broke through Tenten's concentration as she stabbed viciously at the target in front of her.

She froze, katana poised mid slash. Oh. Oh snap. She had been so focused on Neji's reaction to the rumor running rampant in the village when he returned, that she had completely forgotten Hiashi was _in_ the village and would hear about it.

"I'm waiting," his voice flowed over her again, and the brunette screwed her eyes shut, withdrawing her katana from the air and sheathing it before turning to face the Hyuuga patriarch.

"Hyuuga-sama," she bowed, making sure not to meet his eyes. The man had always scared her with his chilly demeanor and apparent lack of emotion. From what she had heard from the two Hyuuga cousins, he wasn't any better to family. "I apologize; I know not what you are referring to." One thing Neji had impressed upon her was the necessity to speak formally to Hiashi unless one wanted to fall even further than dirt in his eyes. She wasn't sure it was possible.

"I am referring to the current rumor circulating the village." He bit off the words as though each had offended him. "Whatever your motivation for formulating such a crass suggestion, I can assure you it shall not succeed."

Tenten's face blushed a hot fierce red as she struggled not to try attacking the man where he stood. He thought _she_ had started that wretched thing? The gall! If she could, she would erase the entire idea from existence. "I don't know where it came from, but I _assure_ _you_ I have it under control," she growled, not daring to look up at Hiashi. Instead she stared at his feet.

There was silence for a second, then those feet turned to walk away. "Be sure you take care of it."

Only when she was sure he had left the training ground did Tenten curse and throw her again unsheathed katana at the tree, watching as it buried itself halfway to the hilt. Ino had better get a move on with that plan of hers before more of the wood hit the fire. And before she had to run for her life.

It wasn't that she didn't _want_ the rumor to be true, it was more that there was no doubt in her mind each and every Hyuuga – except for perhaps Hinata – would want to exact vengeance in blood for even such an idea being suggested. A boy of the Hyuuga Clan, even that of the branch family, bribing his way onto a team because of a mere crush? Impossible. Obviously, it had to be her fault the whole rumor was started.

She considered herself lucky it was only Hiashi so far, as bad as it was.

* * *

"I did it!" Ino ran up to Tenten where she sat at the dango stand, munching on a stick of the dumplings. "You don't have to worry about a thing anymore!"

Oh snap. Tenten swallowed the food in her mouth before looking over at the blonde, not a little worried. "You did what?"

"I fixed it!" Ino flounced onto the stool next to the brunette, flopping dramatically. "It was Lee you know, he didn't mean to. But you know how he says almost everything he thinks, and he said it _really _loud, he feels really bad."

Tenten paused a moment to sort through the mess of words spewing from Ino's mouth until she was sure they all made sense. So Lee was the one who started the rumor, albeit accidentally. She would have to make sure he didn't try to apologize to Neji or punish himself for 'causing distress to both his youthful teammates'. That would just create more of a stir, and she _really_ didn't want Neji getting wind of the goings on. "Wait, what did you say instead?"

"Well…" Ino looked at the counter, one finger tracing through a puddle of condensation on the wood. Oh, this wasn't good. "I had to make it believable, alright? And close enough that people would change what they were saying."

"Ino."

"." The words came out in an unintelligible rush.

"Come again?" She could feel her hand itching for a kunai, but it was a very bad idea to draw one. Tenten settled for twirling the sharped wooden dango stick between her fingers.

"I might have said Hiashi made a bribe so Neji would end up on a team with people that didn't suck," Ino repeated, eyes downcast. "It's an improvement, right? Now nobody thinks Neji has a crush on you!"

That bit was a bit loud for comfort in Tenten's opinion, but nobody was paying attention to the two. Wait. "You said Hiashi bribed someone?" Tenten hissed, pure panic taking over her tone. If he was out for revenge before, he was going to be out for _blood!_ And she had said she was going to take care of the matter. "Are you _insane_? Hiashi is going to murder me! No, _us_!"

"What? Why?" Ino looked genuinely confused.

The brunette's brain was on hyper-mode. No doubt the clan patriarch would take some of his anger out on Neji as well, and her teammate was due back at any time now. They had to get out, _quick_, before he found them.

Grabbing Ino's wrist where her arm rested on the counter, Tenten shot away from the stand, leaving behind a couple ryou notes to pay for her meal. "Hey, Tenten, what are you doing?" Ino yelled from where she was being dragged after the weapons mistress.

"Getting us out of here before we're toast," Tenten called back, taking a sharp turn around a corner towards the main gate. Maybe if they could intercept Neji on the pathway –

The green blur that appeared in front of her was too fast to stop before. She careened into her teammate, knocking the boy down from where he was running on his hands and throwing herself off balance. "Sorry Lee!"

"Tenten!" Lee immediately shot into a standing position, looking beseechingly into Tenten's eyes. "Can you forgive me? I did not mean to cause such problems with my unyouthful suggestion! It was most wrong of me!"

"Yeah yeah," Tenten mumbled, looking behind distractedly for any sign of Hiashi. The man could be on their tail at that very moment. For that matter, he'd probably come after Lee too. "Come with us!" She grabbed his wrist as well and continued on, dragging both Lee and Ino behind her.

She could hear Lee asking something and Ino answering as she made a beeline for her goal. They were almost there, almost to freedom! Then they just wouldn't come back for a few days, let Tsunade-sama threaten Hiashi, and everything would be well!

The person in white at the gate was nearly knocked over as well by Tenten's momentum, only increased by Lee and Ino running into her back as well.

"Tenten."

Oh, she knew that voice. Cursing under her breath, Tenten looked up the few inches at her second teammate. "Neji."

"May I inquire as to what you are doing?" He raised an eyebrow at the two other Konoha Eleven members behind her, and at her hands gripping their wrists.

She thought a second. "Nope." Before his face could register any more surprise, she had released Lee and pointed at Neji. "Lee, get him. We're going." Without missing a beat, the raven scooped up the Hyuuga branch member and stood waiting for any more instructions.

A roar of outrage had the weapons mistress glancing back nervously at the streets they had just left. The deadly aura had her moving. "Come on come on come on!"

Oh, Hiashi was _not_ going to like her after this.


	326. Puppy

So this is case in point on now NOT to leave your new puppy in your house alone...and what not to feed it. ^^; I don't have a dog, I've just heard the stories XD No puppies were harmed in the making of this fic.

* * *

Puppy

"Baa-chan, baa-chan!" Naruto bounced into Tsunade's office, arms full of a wriggling bundle. "Guess what?"

The blonde woman looked up from the paperwork she had been focusing - or not focusing - on, rubbing at her temples with two fingers. It took her a moment to register exactly who and what had entered her office, and then the boy had her undivided attention. "Naruto, what did you do?"

He sent her a hurt pout. "I didn't do anything, honest! It found me!" A furry tail popped out of the gap between the blond's arms and it uttered a woof. "Can I keep it?" His blue eyes widened until he seemed to be channeling the cuteness of the creature in his arms.

Tsunade let out a gusty sigh, one hand moving from he temple to rub at the corners of her eyes. How was she supposed to resist that look? But it wasn't as though she knew anything about taking care of dogs either. Not that she would let Naruto know _that_. "Why are you even asking me?" she twisted the question on him, raising one eyebrow. "It's not as though I'm your mother or anything."

"Well I thought when I went on missions and stuff you could take care of him!" Naruto explained earnestly. "You know, take him for walks and stuff!"

Woah, hold on a moment. "Naruto, I'm _busy_ all day, I'm the Hokage. I don't have time to go and take care of a mutt," Tsunade explained patiently, firmly set in her decision. Until he pulled out those damned puppy eyes. With the welling tears and all. Damn Minato and his charismatic genes. "Fine. I'll _try_," she stressed the word. Then she remembered something Naruto had said. "Him?"

"Yeah! See?" And Naruto opened the poor puppy's legs, showing Tsunade exactly what he meant.

"Okay okay, put the dog down." This was going to be an interesting adventure, she could tell already. "Until you're assigned a mission that takes you out of the village, you have to take care of by yourself, okay? Feeding, walking, everything."

"Yeah!" Naruto cheered, pumping his fist in the air. The puppy barked with him from its place cradled against the orange jacket.

If she had anything to say about the matter, he wouldn't be leaving the village for a long time to come.

* * *

Of course, life never worked out the way it was planned. Not a week into the puppy adoption venture, Team Seven was called out specifically for a mission by some lord who had been quite impressed by their diligence and poise. Where he got the latter, Tsunade had no idea.

Either way, that meant it was Tsunade's turn to fulfill the promise she had made to the blond boy.

Woe be her.

Before leaving, Naruto had stopped by to give her a key to his place, insisting she keep it 'just in case'. "I put the food in the cupboard above the fridge, and he has a water bowl I filled up, and a teddy bear too!"

Over the years Naruto had learned how to take care of himself, so no doubt he had all the necessities to take care of a dog figured out, right? Wrong.

The first thing Tsunade smelled when she stepped into the house was a _very_ odd mix of the distinctive scent of dog mixed with ramen. The first thing she saw was the torn apart cardboard box on the floor, the strewn noodles, and the yellow puddle by the stove. "Oh dear Kami."

A happy puppy bounded up to her, wet fur in ringlets as it bounced around her feet. "Pup, what did that boy do now?" A jingle around its neck alerted her to the fact the dog had a collar now, and it appeared to have been torn from a suspiciously orange sleeve. "Kuuro? He couldn't get more inventive than that?" She sent a look at the nearly pure white body of the dog. "Then again…"

Kuuro whined, pawing at Tsunade's shoe and nuzzling her ankle. "What, are you hungry? I can't believe the gaki didn't put you in a cage so you wouldn't destroy the place…"

As though he knew what she was talking about, the pup led the blonde over to his food bowl, pushed into a corner by Naruto's television stand. Tsunade took a look into it and didn't know whether to laugh or be appalled. The plastic was upside down and underneath seeped out ramen broth, completely with noodles.

As she watched, Kuuro sniffed at one of the noodles and bared his teeth, trying to snap the pasta up. He couldn't quite get to his food, and ended up bumping his nose on the ground instead.

"Okay okay, I get that you're hungry," Tsunade told him, looking around for any sort of leash. "Walk first, then food, okay?" Maybe the leash was in Naruto's room; it wouldn't surprise her in the least.

The Hokage had to choke back a laugh as she stepped into the gaki's sleeping space. Normally it looked as though a whirlwind had gone through it for all his meager possessions, but now the bed was torn apart, pillow feathers scattered on the floor, and futon emitting a very distinct odor. "He'll definitely learn about the crate," Tsunade laughed to herself, spotting the leash hanging across the lampshade of all things. Taking care to step around the anointed mattress, she grabbed the length of leather and snagged Kuuro's collar with her other hand from where the pup had followed her. "You are a good lesson for the kid. Maybe he'll actually learn something when he comes back and finds all this."

Kuuro gave an agreeing whine and tugged his way towards the door, Tsunade following obediently. "You know," she remarked to both herself and the dog as they stepped out onto the balcony, "I never promised I'd clean up after you at the house. And if he comes whining…" she grinned. "He should try taking care of Tonton some time."


	327. Puppy Demolition

A sequel was requested, and now delivered! Also, that puppy anointing floor in happiness thing? Yeah, happens to me pretty often. Most recent occurence? Last Saturday. XD

In other news, I have officially hit 902 pages on the word document I write this thing on. HAPPY DANCE! Don't think I'll make it to 1000 though XD Now if long papers were only this easy to write...

* * *

Demolition

The sun was shining brightly, the birds were chirping merrily, the people were moving around happily…and Tsunade the Hokage was hung over. The laughter of happy children grated on her ears and pounded in her head, and she couldn't wait to get to the blessed silence of her office where she could sleep the morning away until Shizune came in to chastise her about not doing any work.

The stairs up to her office were long and arduous to the blonde, but she knew the reward was worth it. Just five more and she could stop and sit down…two more…what was that strange noise? Almost there…

She pushed open the door and whatever sound it was got louder. For some reason, the rending of fabric came to mind, as well as muffled…yips? It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the brightness of the office after the darker shadows of the stairwell, but when they did it was all she could do to keep from sinking to the floor in abject dismay.

"Baa-chan!" Whatever else was shouted at her was lost in the…no longer yips, but barks of a half grown puppy who scrambled towards her on wobbly legs. "Kuuro!"

Not even hesitating at the sound of his 'master's' voice, the pup proceeded to leap up at Tsunade, only reaching just above her knees with his front paws. A long shred of what looked to be couch cushion fabric dangled from his jaws as he opened them wide and tried to lick/mouth her hand. When he missed the first time he leapt again… and again…and…

Anointed the floor.

Oh for crying out loud. "Naruto! Get your dog under control _now!"_ Tsunade yelled without any regard for her pounding headache as she squeezed her eyes closed, hoping for the whole thing to just be a nightmare. The barking and panting didn't help with that fantasy. "Now!" she repeated, jabbing a finger at the floor when the sound didn't abate.

She heard the scrambling of the blond getting on his knees next to Kuuro and no doubt soothing him, and the barks died off, leaving blessed quiet and whimpers of eagerness in their wake. Only when she was sure she had her headache under control once more did Tsunade open her eyes, bracing herself to take in the destruction of her office.

In comparison to the state she had found Naruto's apartment in a week ago, it wasn't that bad. In comparison to its normal state? The place was a disaster zone.

Her desk was an untouched oasis of calm in the center of a storm, with couch stuffing and fabric lying on the floor, obviously from playing tug of war with an overactive puppy. Her curtains were gone to the same game, and the bottoms were shredded completely. What few scrolls had been on the bottom shelves of her bookcase were strewn across the room, some sporting inky puppy prints marring the text.

And there was the matter of the new puddle in the middle of her doorway.

"Naruto." Her voice came out very calm and level, not a hint of rage in it. "What are you and Kuuro doing here?"

"Kuuro wanted to see you Baa-chan!" Obviously the blond was as obtuse as normal. "He missed you after you took care of him, so I figured I'd bring him here!" Now Naruto paused. "But you weren't here and Shizune said I could wait…"Chalk another victim to the list. "But Kuuro got all excited and I couldn't stop him, honest!" Naruto looked up at her with pleading blue eyes.

"You mean to tell me that you, as a fully-fledged genin," she pointed at the blond, "couldn't stop him, a half grown puppy," the finger moved to the black dog who was still wagging his tail and panting in the circle of Naruto's arms, "from tearing up _my office_?" That hand moved in a swift gesture to the destruction that had overtaken her work place.

Naruto opened his mouth to reply, then shut it again. "Sorry?" The word came out meek, so unlike his normal responses and accompanied by penitent blue eyes that Tsunade felt her rage all melt away. Damn boys and their puppy dogs…and puppy dog eyes.

No, stand firm. Her office was in shambles and there was dog pee on the floor. "Naruto, you're going to go tell Shizune I need a new couch and new curtains. Then you're going to come right back here and tell me what was on those scrolls. Then you're going to clean _all _of this up. Understood?"

He nodded, arms still tight around Kuuro. "I'll do it!" Determination in every line of his body, the blond stood up and headed for the door…leaving the puppy behind still sitting on the floor.

"Naruto! The mutt!"

"Baa-chan, I can't take him with me to see nee-chan, he might destroy something else!" Oh, there was something so wrong with the justification of that statement, but she couldn't refute the logic. "Can he stay here with you?"

Damn those puppy dog eyes and the cute whimpers the pup was still emitting as his tail wagged slightly. "Fine. But you hurry right back, you hear!"

"Got it baa-chan!"

Walking over to her desk, Tsunade rubbed at her temples feeling the hangover beginning to leave her system. Just as well, it was promising to be a long day despite the apparent lack of paperwork. When she sat down, Kuuro came over and hopped up into her lap, settling himself comfortably there in preparation for a long stay.

Somehow she felt she was going to have to invest in a dog bed for the office.


	328. Make Up and Medicine

I swear most of this wrote itself. Thanks to Kaiser969 for the original idea and Addster for elaboration. Don't kill me.

* * *

Make Up and Medicine

"And now for our next example…" the voice announced, excitement and glee all wrapped up into one package. "We have Mystic Maroon!"

She couldn't stop staring. It was too hypnotic. It burned her eyes and hurt her brain, but she couldn't stop staring. Jiraiya paraded in front of her, showing off a compact to the crowd of two – one of whom was mercifully unconscious.

That wasn't the worst part however. No, the worst part was his _face_. He no longer looked like the rugged boy she had known for years – now he had _blush_ on. Blush!

"And don't forget the Vivacious Grape!" came another voice, and Tsunade cringed, knowing what came next but unable to move to escape. She was too horrified.

Orochimaru moved in from the side of the room, holding a tube adorned in bright purple. And his eyes were popping with that same color all around, luminescent against his pale skin.

Make up. They had designed their own _make up. And they were wearing it._

Unknown hands pulled at her shoulders, guiding her backwards through a doorway and into a room that was blessedly quiet and empty. Especially empty.

"Koharu-san…" she made a weak protest, too shocked to do more.

"Leave her there."

A cup was being pushed into her hands and guided to her lips by someone with hands just as shaky as her own. "Drink up."

"What is it?" she managed to ask, staring down at the clear liquid in the cup. It seemed somewhat familiar and the smell was burning her nose, but she couldn't place it.

"Medicine," the gruff voice told her. "It will make the pain stop."

For that she'd do anything he told her. Upending the cup, Tsunade let the liquid pour down her throat, burning the whole way. But when it had finally settled, she could already feel the comforting warmth spreading through her stomach all the way to her fingertips. "Good medicine," she told him, tilting her head with eyes still unfocused in his direction. Then she cringed as she caught a glimpse of something purple. "No, no, no –"

"Have some more." Another dose of liquid medicine was splashed into her cup and obediently Tsunade drank. Now her head felt fuzzy too, and it was all starting to get better. What was starting to get better? No...don't ask what, ask…ask…what was she asking about? A giggle escaped her.

"Homura, what did you do to my student?" Sarutobi's voice cut through the happy fog in her brain.

"Sensei! Sensei guess what!"

The Hokage turned from where he was glaring at his teammate to look at his student. "What, Tsunade-chan?"

"Hi!" she exclaimed, then fell over giggling again. It was too funny!

Sarutobi stared at her for a second, then switched his focus back to Homura. "Well?"

"Better to ask what your students did to her," the other man told him, wincing as he ran a hand over his head. "I just made the pain stop."

Somehow, he couldn't quite call shenanigans on that explanation, especially not when he clearly heard his other two male pupils in the adjoining room. "Very well. Don't think I won't be back."

"I'll be ready," his teammate muttered, reaching for a white porcelain bottle and a cup.

There was some kind of music playing in the background with a heavy beat, and both boys had their backs to him. Their legs were apart as though bracing, and both heads were bobbing up and down.

"Jiraiya are you ready?" Orochimaru asked, voice with more excitement than Sarutobi had ever heard at one time.

"Yeah!" the white haired teenager shouted back, pumping a fist in the air. "Final presentation! The ultimate –"

"Radical –"

"Unbelievable –"

"Superb –"

"Flaming peacock!" they shouted in sync, both spinning around and striking a pose.

Sarutobi took one look at their faces and didn't know whether to try to scratch his eyes out or laugh hysterically. Never in a million, billion years had he _ever_ expected to see something so…scarring.

Homura had given Tsunade medicine? Oh, medicine wouldn't be enough to ever wipe that image from his brain. Only a Yamanaka could and he wasn't sure the poor soul would survive the experience.

"What do you think sensei?" Jiraiya cocked a thumbs up at him, grinning. "Awesome, yeah?"

"…A-Awesome," Sarutobi choked out, backing towards the doorway on shaky legs. "I'll just…go…consult Tsunade…"

"Yeah! She saw us before!" Oh yes, medicine all right.

Ducking back through into the other room and shutting the door tight behind him as though to keep all nightmares out, Sarutobi stared at his teammate with wide eyes that threatened to pop out of their sockets. "Make it stop!"

His hands were wrapped around a cup and he immediately brought it to his lips, seeking the oblivion promised. The first wasn't enough, nor was the second, the third, the fourth…

"I said you'd be back," Homura told his teammate sagely as he took in Sarutobi's slumped frame on the couch next to his passed out student. "There are some things you can't unsee."

He shuddered, and downed his own cup of medicine.


	329. Ping Pong

So I play ping pong (or table tennis, whichever you prefer) and I have a ping pong partner/rival who claims to be unbeatable. As of tonight, at game 9 of 10, I beat him for the second time. (Out of over 100 games, but we won't mention that). SO IT CAN BE DONE! Then again, this took an hour from midnight to 1am when I have an exam tomorrow. Self preservation? Anyways, I decided a drabble must be done.

* * *

Ping Pong

"Rally for serve," they said at the same time, and Jiraiya launched the ball with a flair of his paddle, the white object bouncing light and high across the tabletop to Tsunade's side. She returned it just as easily, both getting into the routine of getting their reflexes warmed up for an all-out match.

By the time the ping pong ball had made fifteen rounds of the table it was speeding up, flying lower and faster over the net, just barely grazing the top edge sometimes. "Ready?"

"Ready."

Tsunade slammed it, her ping pong paddle coming down hard and fast on the ball from above so it bounced off Jiraiya's side and away into the wall behind him. "My serve," she smirked, holding out a hand for the ball.

He handed it over without even a grumble, bouncing the plastic off the green table and into her waiting hand. "Ready?" she asked again, holding the ball out slightly over her end of the table, paddle poised to slice. Hit him hard and fast the first few rounds, she figured, then ease off and he would never know what had happened.

Jiraiya settled his feet further apart and bent slightly at the knees, paddle in front of him. He spun it in one hand a few times, then stopped. "Ready."

The first serve came fast and hard just like he thought it would, and with a flick of his wrist he returned the ball, sending it sailing low over the net – and right into the path of Tsunade's already swinging paddle. The ball flew askew though, and it was his point.

"Zip serving one."

Another four similar volleys and it was his serve at "Three serving two."

Tsunade was annoyingly much better at returning his own serves so he couldn't get to them than she was at parrying his returns. Time and time again she sliced it at the edge of the table, never quite going over.

"Seven serving three."

"Five serving ten."

"Fourteen serving six."

"Eight serving seventeen."

Okay, this was getting out of hand. Jiraiya banged his paddle on the table top twice in frustration, and grabbed the ball out of midair where Tsunade had tossed it in preparation for his serve. "Eight serving seventeen, first serve."

He sliced the ball, watching it bounce on his side of the table and barely make it over the net, retaining its distance above the table. It looked as though it was going to miss the edge, barely, and he held his breath as Tsunade stepped back, a look of glee on her face…and let out the breath in relief as the ball caught the edge, again barely, and bounced off.

The blonde's face fell in disbelief even as she grabbed the ball and tossed it back to him. "Nine seventeen. Don't think you're getting lucky, the luck's all mine tonight."

Oh? Well, they'd have to see about that.

"Seventeen serving fourteen."

"Eighteen serving seventeen."

Tsunade's growl was becoming audible as she wasn't able to score another point on Jiraiya, all his serves and returns barely catching a corner or edge of the table. Coincidentally, hers kept _missing_, falling to the side or just beyond what made the ball live.

"Game!" Jiraiya crowed as he slammed yet another ball off the corner. Tsunade had reached for it, only for the damned thing to spin out of reach. "Twenty-one seventeen, take that!"

"Best two out of three like always!"

"Oh? Someone's impatient tonight," Jiraiya teased as he hung onto the ball. Tsunade's dagger glare and _very_ audible growl had him cocking an eyebrow. "Okay okay, my turn to serve anyways."

Waiting a beat for her to get ready, he sent the ball spinning out, prepared to bounce off the table and curve in a completely different direction. Until it hit the net and caught. "Zip one."

"Now who's cocky!" Tsunade crowed, pointing her paddle at Jiraiya as he fished for the ball. "I'm going to win this one, it's in the cards!"

"The cards never served you that well," Jiraiya responded flippantly, setting for another serve. The ball skimmed out of his hand, barely kissing the green table before bouncing just over the net. Tsunade managed to get her paddle under it before it could bounce a second time and flipped the ball up, but it flew too far.

Or did it? For just a moment, she could have sworn the table had moved backwards slightly. No, she had to be seeing things. Tables didn't move. "Ones."

Back and forth they played, Jiraiya always maintaining a sizable lead despite his numerous fails while serving and net plows. "Game!"

"Three out of five!"

"C'mon Tsunade, you just don't have the luck tonight," Jiraiya smirked, resting his paddle on the tabletop nonchalantly. "Give it up and come back another day." Then he winked at her. "Then again, you are the Legendary Sucker, pretty sure you aren't ever going to have the luck."

Oh that did it, she was going to prove him so wrong. "Give me the ball," she ground out.

"Sure, sure." He tossed her the plastic ball and she caught it, barely restraining herself from crushing the fragile object in her hand.

"Zeroes." If the ball could have broken the sound barrier it would have, so fast did she shoot it across the table. "Point, me." Again she plowed the plastic over the net, barely bouncing off the end. "Two zip." She managed to get a straight five, all so fast Jiraiya couldn't return any of them.

He was frowning as he fingered the ball, paddle rapping in annoyance on the table twice. "Zip serving five. First serve."

The first serve floated across the net, so slow she couldn't get to it, expecting a fast ball. "One five." The second one was more in her ballpark, enough that she slammed it so hard it dented and crumpled inward where it hit on the tabletop. "Temper, temper."

When the third serve once again _barely_ hit the corner, Tsunade knew she had seen something. Temper? She'd show him _temper_. Just wait..

Yes, on the forth serve the table definitely moved slightly to the right, she could feel it where she pressed against the edge. He thought he could get away with such shenanigans? Think again.

Never once had she had to retrieve the ball, always having a new one thrown to her by her ping pong partner. Well, obviously there was a reason for that.

She bent down, pigtails flopping, as though going to retrieve the most recent escapee. "Tsunade, I have it…" Jiraiya faltered, stopping his protest and taking two discreet steps backwards as he felt the killing intent rolling off his teammate.

Two bright blue eyes surrounded by tan skin and with a shock of blond hair blinked up at her, and the figure sent her a cheesy grin with both his hands plastered firmly to the underside of the table. "Hey there baa-chan…"

"You both have three seconds. Then I'm not responsible for how the hospital finds you," Tsunade said quietly, voice rolling with menace. "Three, two…" The table hit the ground with an audible thump as Naruto shot away, easily catching up to and passing the toad sage. "One." Her voice jumped from that scary soft tone to one that threatened to send the males stumbling to the ground clutching their ears. "Luck? I'll show you luck, let's see how _lucky _you are with dodging!"


	330. Dodgeball

Idea by Addster and Star Josherson.

So I say I won't sleep until I write this - then I procrastinate it, then won't go to sleep...never ending cycle. Hence this coming out at nearly 4am when I have my last exam at 1:30. Because I totally have self-preservation instincts.

* * *

Dodgeball

Hashirama hefted a medium sized rubber ball in his hand, sizing up its mass and dimensions. Perfect throwing material, just as they all were. He looked across the median line, eyeing his team's three opponents.

The three children stood apart, each taking a portion of the court strategically according to Orochimaru's instructions. Jiraiya at the front and a bit to the right, Orochimaru in the middle left, and Tsunade in the back center. Each were staring right back at their own opponents, determination in every gaze.

"Hashirama, the ball goes in the middle of the court," Mito's calm voice flowed over the court, breaking the Hokage's concentration. With a pout reserved solely for his wife, the brunet tossed the rubber ball towards the center line, cheering inwardly when it rolled to a perfect stop on the white marker.

"You boys too." Everyone was a boy to Mito, even if they were grown and considered to be some of the most dangerous men in the land.

"Aw, Mito, do I have to? Just look at those brats, I'm sure they'll beat old me to the balls," Tobirama whined, sending a pleading look at his sister-in-law.

He received and implacable glare in return. "Follow the rules or be disqualified."

Sarutobi tossed his ball at the center line as well, grinning at the white haired man. "C'mon sensei, stop trying to cheat. It's not like you don't need the practice anyways."

"You're supposed to be on my side!" But obediently Tobirama tossed one ball, then another, a third, and a fourth at the middle line carelessly, so they rolled into a clump a bit beyond it. "I call shenanigans! They clearly have the advantage!"

Mito rolled her eyes, barely letting out a long-suffering sigh from putting up with Tobirama's antics. The redhead moved out to the center line, straightening each of the rubber balls so they rested squarely on the middle divider of the court.

Throughout the whole thing three members of the younger team didn't even move to confer, instead keeping their gazes focused on each of their opponents. Tsunade stared down her grandfather, Jiraiya quirked an eyebrow at Tobirama, and Orochimaru gazed calmly at his sensei.

Hashirama bet his granddaughter's eyes steadily, the only acknowledgement of her tactic being the smallest twitch of his mouth. Mito walked back to her spot at the sidelines, temporarily breaking Jiraiya and Tobirama's eye contact, and the elder man unexpectedly flinched as it was renewed. "Gaki, that's creepy, you know that?"

Jiraiya's grin widened.

"It won't work, I'm telling you now. You'll be the first one out. I'll make sure of it. Don't think you can escape, because you _can't_," Tobirama rambled, unable to look away from Jiraiya's penetrating stare. "You hear me? You can't!"

Mito rolled her eyes, and raised her hand. "On the count of three…" All participants tensed, although eye contact wasn't broken. "Three, two…" Jiraiya twitched forward, making Tobirama flinch backwards. "One, begin."

They were there and then they weren't, all six shooting forward to the six balls in the center. Tsunade scooped up two and backed away as fast as she could, determined not to be an early casualty.

Sarutobi got the next ball, immediately throwing it at Orochimaru as the raven neared his own target. He barely ducked to avoid the projectile, snagging his own ball and holding it in front of his body protectively as he retreated. Sarutobi leapt back as well, leaving his thrown ball as lost despite its position on their side of the line, having bounced off the wall and rolled.

Hashirama and Jiraiya got a ball each, leaving Tobirama to grab the previously thrown ball and join his teammates at the back of their side of the field.

"They have four and we have two," the white haired man stated the obvious, sending a glare at his grand-niece who grinned cheerfully. "Who's bait?"

On the other side Tsunade balanced her extra ball in one outstretched hand, gripping the other ball tightly. "So, plan?"

Jiraiya's grin was feral. "Easy, peg 'em."

"Orochimaru?" The blonde girl turned to their quieter teammate where he was holding his ball in front of his chest with both hands, eyes narrowed at the adults.

After a pause he replied. "Yes, peg them."

That was all the invitation Tsunade needed to hurl first one, then the other of her rubber balls at her uncle's feet.

His curse as he barely registered their presence was audible from where she stood, as was his shout when Jiraiya's ball found its target in his back. "That's cheating!"

"Tobirama, to the side," Mito's voice overruled him and the white haired man sulked his way to the border line of the court.

"Hashi, you'd better get the little devil out!"

"Now, is that a nice thing to call your grand-niece?" Tsunade asked cheekily.

"Not you – no wait, you too – him!"

"Tobi, don't call her a devil!"

Any further banter was cut off as Orochimaru hurled his ball and Sarutobi threw his in response even as he ducked. It only bounced once before Jiraiya picked it up and threw it at Hashirama, who bounced it off his own ball to his partner then proceeded to throw his own rubber ball at his granddaughter – hard.

"Jii-sama!"

"You aren't exempt either Tsunade-chan."

"Yeah! I'm back in!" Tobirama crowed, immediately scooping up the ball Sarutobi had dodged and chucking it at Jiraiya. The whizzing sound was audible as the white haired boy ducked quickly to avoid being brained.

"Tobirama, tone it down or I'll remove you from the game."

"Mito!"

"No arguments."

Jiraiya's retaliation shot at the Hokage's brother, barely missing his leg. Then the game picked up again, balls flying everywhere as Tsunade stood tensely on the side, just waiting for a chance…

A smack echoed through the room as Orochimaru caught a fast flying ball in both hands, cradling it to his chest. "Sensei you're out!"

Tsunade's whoop had half the males rubbing at their ears.

"Yes, Tsunade, you're back in," Mito smiled slightly. Then her eyes shifted to the girl's sensei who wasn't moving. "You. Out." Meekly Sarutobi walked to the side and sat down cross-legged, for all the world a compliant student.

The peace lasted all of ten seconds before Tsunade launched the next blow, her ball slamming into the ground just before it reached her grandfather.

Five calls for unnecessary force and one violation of boundaries – Tobirama crossing the mid-line – and it was three on one.

Orochimaru's eyes shifted to the side, eyeing his room. Hashirama hefted a ball, Tobirama idly juggled his two balls, and Sarutobi lounged with both hands empty, grinning at his student, two rubber balls on the ground in front of him.

Orochimaru had one ball, and it was apparent it was his move.

"C'mon, you got this!" Jiraiya shouted from the side, only to be hit lightly on the head by Mito.

"Quiet."

"But –!"

Now Tsunade smacked him too. "Don't distract him," she hissed, eyes focused on the raven as he judged the distance between himself and his nearest opponent.

For a moment it seemed as though he wouldn't move, but with a lightning move his arm flashed forward, the ball flying at speeds that would have gotten him called for a violation but that he was the only one left.

The smack of rubber echoed through the room.

Tobirama winced and rubbed at his cheek where his own ball had slammed into it, having been hit by Orochimaru's. "Sorry gaki, by proxy doesn't count, does it Mito?"

"It does not."

"Obaa-sama!"

"The rules are the rules Tsunade-chan."

Orochimaru gulped as he stared at the six balls now facing him down.

Game over.


	331. Memories, Take Four

Point one - I'm home! Finally! Fall semester is over!

Point two - I just had to bring back the memory compartment once more, it was too good to resist. Hope you guys like it the fourth time around...^^;

* * *

Memories, Take Four

Minato ran one hand through messy blond locks once again, sighing as they fell into his eyes a moment later. Honestly, he had to ask Kushina for a haircut soon…when she wasn't having mood swings, that is. He suspected having a buzz cut wouldn't do anything good for his looks.

It was late at night, and he didn't really want to go home quite yet, just because that would mean disturbing Kushina when she needed all the sleep she could get. He'd rather stay awake all night than deprive her.

Well, he didn't want to do work either. Actually…his fingers brushed over the top of his nice old wooden desk, feeling the smooth wooden grains under his hands. The desk held stories and secrets, passed on from generation to generation.

His hand moved under the desk, pulling at the little catch in the top right edge, and he heard the snick of the hidden drawer popping open. A secret passed down by the Sandaime, who had heard it from the Nidaime, who had been shown by the Shodaime who had created the desk. Inside were treasures from his little over two decades, including one he had just put in not a month ago.

The black and white photo slid out first, its small image nearly bringing a tear to his eye all over again. He didn't want to be stereotypical, but there was something about seeing that small human being surrounded by a vast space that just tugged at his heart.

Kushina had laughed at him when his eyes misted; she had just looked at the ultrasound screen and let out a small breath of awe and clutched his hand tighter, she hadn't cried. Nothing to cry over, she said. Hey, she only had a small human growing inside her that would eat, cry, and poop like the rest of them. Nothing new. But he had seen her brushing a hand over the picture later and whispering to it.

The next item was a strip of worn cloth, its silkiness still apparent for its threadbare state. It had been after he had rescued her from those Kumo shinobi that she had commented on how her hair was like a red string of fate. So of course the girl had taken it upon herself to buy him a red ribbon symbolizing just that when they started dating.

And had made sure to tie it around his wrist and proclaim loudly that if he ever took it off, she would see that as breaking her heart. Needless to say he had kept it on for three years before she laughed and finally told him he could untie the red ribbon. By then it meant so much to him, he had kept it in his weapons pouch for a while.

When Minato reached into the compartment again, his fingertips ghosted over the worn front of a hardcover book. He couldn't stop the slow smile that spread over his features. Jiraiya-sensei had given it to him when it was first published, even signing the front cover after extracting a promise to _never ever sell it_.

He needn't have worried. While the book wasn't as popular as Jiraiya's fabled Icha Icha series, it had still sold well with the kids. But Minato wouldn't have sold it for any price. Flipping the worn cover open, he traced his fingers over the messy scrawl on the inside cover and grinned. The toad sage's one non-pervy book, and he had only ever signed one copy. It made the blond feel important. You know, not that the job didn't already do that.

The last item in the drawer was a bittersweet one, not happy like all the others. Minato drew out the plain wooden picture frame, taking in the four faces behind it. Three young and happy, full of life, and one older grinning behind them, eyes shadowed with knowledge of the world. Try as he might, every time Minato searched those faces for any hint of the tragedy to come, he could never find it. They were all so naïve back then, thinking they'd become the best in the world.

Only one left.

He brushed a finger for remembrance over his two dead teammates' faces, smiling sadly. So young when they had both died, leaving him Jiraiya-sensei's only pupil. Even now, he would go and lay two roses at the memorial stone every month, to let the two other orphans know they were not forgotten.

It was late enough now that Kushina shouldn't be disturbed even when he slipped into bed. And if he didn't leave soon, no doubt Jiraiya would start teasing him again about how he lived at work and had to get out to experience more of the world.

Not remotely in Kushina's hearing of course.

Sliding each memento one by one into the compartment once more, Minato shut the wooden panel with an audible click, locking away the memories for another time.


	332. Undercover

Thanks to freewolf17 and her friend for this...strangeness. Yup, enter another slightly crack-fic.

* * *

Undercover

Sasuke looked down the street again, turning slightly to look over his shoulder. It had been a relatively fangirl-free day compared to the norm, with him only getting ambushed twice before finding his way onto the secret path he had mapped out to take him home.

Normally the girls couldn't follow him when he arrived at it, but this time someone had been trailing him the whole way back, unshakeable even with a few kawarimi. Normally that would make him think the person was a shinobi student, but he hadn't seen them at the academy at all.

The raven frowned and moved faster, taking corners so quickly he was running along the walls. When he was sure his trailer was out of sight, he ran all the way up the low wall, ending up on the opposite side of the roof beam of the building. Surely the creeper wouldn't be able to find him there.

"You should be able to pick a better hiding place," came a light voice behind him, and Sasuke spun about with a yelp. He hadn't even heard the kid approach! But there he was, perched on the tiles as though he hadn't a care in the world…or hadn't been following the Uchiha for the past twenty minutes.

"What do you want?" the ten year old demanded, for once dropping his emo, emotionless persona and glaring full force at the pale skinned black haired boy sitting opposite and gazing at him with the weirdest eyes.

The creeper looked puzzled for a second, although his face didn't change at all. Then he plastered an obviously fake smile and said "Can I have your autograph?"

"…_What?_"

"Didn't I say it right?" Again that puzzled look. "Can I have your autograph? Or touch you?"

Okay now Sasuke was _completely_ creeped out. "What…no! That's disgusting!" He edged backwards along the roof, groping for the edge. "Why are you following me?"

"Isn't it obvious? I want to touch you. No…I want…you to kiss me?"

He really had to get out of there, but somehow the strange kid had found him every time he tried to evade. So maybe he could distract the stalker long enough to escape for real. "How did you find me?"

He had expected the boy to look smug or something, but his expression didn't change at all. "You hid like an amateur. You will die within your first week of graduation, if you manage to pass that low barrier."

Sasuke's fists clenched with rage, all thoughts of creep forgotten. Where did the boy get off thinking he could insult the Uchiha? He was top of his class! Best to come along in years since…_that_ man. He was the _last Uchiha._ "How dare you!"

"Did I wound your pride?" The question was nonchalant as though the owner hadn't a care in the world.

"Did you…" Sasuke spluttered, completely forgetting how to 'play it off'. "You stalk me, ask me to _kiss you_, and then question my ability!"

The boy opposite the Uchiha cocked his head. "Do you not want to kiss me?"

Oh dear Kami. He had to escape. This had to be some strange nightmare and when he woke up, he would have fallen asleep in the training fields again as he was wont to do. One hand surreptitiously pinched the opposite arm, but apart from a near negligible lance of pain, nothing happened.

He couldn't think of a good way to get rid of the boy. "Why do you _want_ me to kiss you?" Sasuke asked desperately, hands curling around the roof edge once more. Obviously he couldn't make a plausible run for it if the kid was insulting a prodigy's ability.

"…Because that's what they say."

"…Who?"

"All those females."

Light bulb. "You should go ask them why they want to kiss me."

"That makes sense." Again with the fake smile. "I shall be back."

Then he was gone and Sasuke was heading as fast as he could in the opposite direction, praying he got back to his apartment before the strange boy escaped the fangirls.

* * *

"Sai, today you will work on your impersonation skills."

"Hai, sensei."

"Find a group of those mindless villagers and blend in, emulate them perfectly. I expect nothing less."

"Hai, sensei." Sai bowed his head, looking down at floor beneath his hands as Danzou left the room. The assignment shouldn't be too hard, on the rare occasions Danzou-sama had taken them out into the village for observation he had noticed a large group following a boy home each day. They were quite loud as well; no doubt he would be able to hear them perfectly.

It wouldn't be hard to copy what they said and tell those same things to the boy, right?


	333. Hit the Slopes Hard

Oh the skiing stories I have...my bro boards, and I ski, so that right there is a wonderful combination for getting on/off the lifts. Which can be crazy, forreal. I haven't fallen in years, but I've definitely come close to having my skis cross/etc while getting off...and don't even get me started on almost dropping my poles. Then there's the whole thing about snowboarders getting across flat ground where my bro borrowed my pole and tried to pole his way across as though he were a gondola...yeah, that doesn't work. Neither does towing someone when they're only twenty pounds lighter than you. You don't actually move anywhere. XD

And that moose encounter? Yeah, I had one on skis. Now _there's_ a story.

* * *

Hit the Slopes...Hard

"Baa-chan, give me the pole!" Naruto held out his hand authoritatively, the posture ruined as he wobbled once more and nearly fell down on his butt. "C'mon!"

Tsunade hid a snicker behind a gloved hand as she dutifully handed over the long length of metal, end first. Naruto tugged at the pointed pole, frowning and almost losing his balance – again – when it didn't come loose. "Baa-chan! Get it off your wrist!"

Tsunade planted her other pole in the ground as she watched the blond struggle to stay upright while holding onto her ski pole for balance. "Yeah, yeah, cool your jets." She tugged the metal back, not batting an eyelid when the movement caused Naruto to topple forward this time, adding yet another dusting of snow to his winter jacket and face, and began to work the strap up and over her ski glove.

Another snicker to their right caused both blondes to whip their heads around and glare at the perpetrator. Jiraiya was standing in his ski boots, both skis locked together and in one hand, poles planted on either side. "You two are hopeless."

"You're one to talk, you don't even have your skis on," Tsunade snarked, finally getting the stubborn black band over her glove and tossing the pole to Naruto, who had given up standing and instead sat on the ground, his board out in front of him.

"Baa-chan, help me up!"

"Hey, I gave you my ski pole, didn't I? Get up yourself." She turned back to Jiraiya, eyes narrowing. "Trying to act all pro?"

"Hime, compared to you two, I _am_ pro." He brushed aside the snow an irate Naruto threw at him before the blond tried to heave himself to his feet, only for the board to slip out from under him. "See?"

"Look Ero-sennin, just because it's not your first time on these…things," Naruto wrinkled his nose at the piece of plastic that was binding his feet to one plane, "doesn't mean you're an expert."

"No it doesn't," Jiraiya agreed equably, taking two steps to stand behind the boy. "But it does mean I can stand up on my own." In one swift move he grabbed the back of Naruto's jacket and hoisted the boy up, only putting him down when he was sure the snowboard was level with the ground.

The minute he was vertical once more Naruto flailed out with his – Tsunade's – pole, stabbing desperately at the snow in front of him as he tried to remain upright. Only when he was sure he was stable did the blond look up at Jiraiya with bright blue eyes. "Race you."

A push of the pole and a well-timed jump had him starting across the flat snow towards the lift, where the line was almost non-existent. Tsunade sent a knowing smirk at the white haired man before pushing off with her own one pole, struggling slightly to keep herself upright at the unbalanced momentum before she found a rhythm. Jiraiya watched them get to the lift line as he grabbed his poles, muttering.

It was an interesting experience getting both skier and snowboarder onto the lift, as first Naruto had to sit down and unbuckle his left foot, Tsunade had to reclaim her pole and then go through the laborious struggle of getting him upright while still maintaining her balance on two thin strips of plastic, and then getting the momentum to sit on the far-too-quickly-moving ski lift chair as it hit the backs of their knees, forcing both to sit down quickly. Yes, that was interesting alright, but they had managed to not slip off the chair, Tsunade not to lose her poles, and the safety bar to come down before any mishaps could occur.

"Baa-chan, what do you bet Ero-sennin doesn't even have his skis on yet?" Naruto asked, tapping his board against his soft boot in an attempt to dislodge snow. Some fell on the head of a skier below, who didn't seem to notice.

Her laugh rippled in the cold air. "Gaki, we'll probably get back down to the bottom of the mountain and find him still there. He pretends to know what he's doing, but really he's only skied once before."

Their chair bumped over the wheels of one of the lift poles, jostling Tsunade and nearly causing one of her poles to slip out of her gloved hands. "Crap!"

"Hey, baa-chan, I need those!" Naruto grabbed at the metal as well, holding them steady until she could get a better grip on the ends. "You know, in case I fall."

"You mean every ten feet?"

"I'm not that bad!"

"Gaki, I have a video."

"I was just learning," Naruto pouted, then his head turned to face the front once more. "Almost time to get off!" He lifted the safety bar up, mindful of Tsunade's poles, and turned his hips on the seat so his right foot with the board pointed forward. "Ready?"

"…No…" the word was so quiet he couldn't hear.

"Go!" With a shift of his weight Naruto was up and off the seat, left foot coming to plant firmly on its bindings as he boarded down the ramp of snow leading from the lift, once he was far enough away, he turned and looked back at the lift, expecting Tsuande to be beside him.

Nope. She was somewhere at the bottom of the incline, cursing vividly and pushing at the snow with both poles, skies tangled under her. The attendants stopped the lift and one came out to help her up, ignoring her protests that she could "get up perfectly fine myself, I'm not an invalid!"

He didn't move from his spot, instead sitting down on a bench and grinning widely at Tsunade when she finally made her way over to the seat. "Not a word," she growled, eyes deadly serious. Naruto dragged two fingers over his lips, twisting them in a locking motion at the corner.

"So, we going to wait for Ero-sennin?"

"Now why would you do that after so graceful a dismount?" his low voice sounded from behind the two, and Naruto jolted so bad he slipped off the bench and onto the ground, banging his head in the process.

"Itai…"

"You!" Tsunade whipped around, glove hand extended as her pole flew with the movement, almost smacking an unsuspecting passerby in the face. "How did you get up here?" Her face burned red that he must have seen her fall. "I'm holding sharp pieces of metal, choose your words carefully."

"Do you know how long it takes me to put on a pair of skis?" Jiraiya asked conversationally as though he hadn't just been threatened. "Twenty seconds, give or take a few if there's snow on my boots. Do you know how long it takes you two to get on a lift?" He smirked. "Two minutes."

Naruto stood up once more, using the bench for leverage. "Can we go down now?" he asked plaintively, gesturing towards the slope everyone coming off the lift was heading towards. "I want to board!"

Both adults smiled at his enthusiasm, putting aside all sniping for now. "Let's go," Jiraiya announced, holding out a pole to Naruto. "Grab on, gaki."

"Sweet, shuttle service!"

"Don't get used to it." At the top of the – very shallow – slope, Naruto looked at Tsunade, Tsunade looked at Jiraiya, and Jiraiya simply smirked. "You two first, I'll teach as we go. This ain't something you can learn out of a book."

Twelve falls, three runs, and one encounter with a moose later, they were starting to get the idea.


	334. If You Give a Moose a Snowboarder

The animal trails were definitely the best part of skiing, and they really are that bumpy and twisty. I'm a pretty accomplished skier and more than once I found myself having a meeting with a tree, or a snowbank...one time a creek...or a moose. I really did run into the tail end of a moose (back leg/thigh) but all it did was look back at me like 'wtf?'. Hightailed it away from there for sure. They really are animal trails ;)

I also took flying lessons at the end of one trail where I managed to leave both my skis at the bottom of the hill I was _supposed_ to be going up, and ending up at the top of the thing with both poles still attached to my wrists...damn I miss skiing.

* * *

If You Give a Moose a Snowboarder

It was on their first time down the ski slope that Naruto noticed the small path leading into the forest. He thought nothing of it, figuring it to be an animal trail through the snow or something, and therefore not fit for skiers or snowboarders. Instead, he concentrated on not falling over forwards or backwards down the slope, something that proved hard to do when one was balancing on the edge of a piece of metal and plastic. More often than not his hands came out to balance his body against the rise of the mountain as he would tip forward, although neither Jiraiya nor Tsunade seemed to notice thankfully.

The blonde was too busy trying not to careen down the slope out of control while Jiraiya provided a failsafe in front of her should she miss her next carefully mantra-ed 'powder, powder, powder' turn. She would plant her pole above the next patch of powder and spin around on that – although more than once she overran the end of her pole or forgot to pull it from the ground, resulting in a tip over and more cursing.

Jiraiya was trying not to fall over himself from laughing too hard at the both of them. This was the bunny slope; he would love to see them on the blues, let alone the blacks. Then again, he'd probably have to show them how to hike down…

It was on the second time down the slope, when he was becoming more sure he wouldn't fall over every three seconds and could actually complete a series of turns without losing his balance, that Naruto saw a skier head down that tiny trail, poles tucked under his arms as he disappeared between the trees.

"Ero-sennin, what's that?" the blond asked when he had settled himself balancing heel-edge on the mountain face, so as not to unexpectedly move. His finger extended towards the gap in the trees so the older man couldn't miss what he meant.

"Eh?" From his place slightly downhill from the boy, Jiraiya planted both poles firmly in the ground and shaded his ski goggles with one hand, squinting in the direction Naruto indicated. "Oh, that? That's an animal trail."

"An animal trail?"

"Yeah, they're paths through the forests on the slopes that cut from one to another through the trees. Pretty narrow and fast, lots of curves. Hell of a ride though."

Naruto's eyes took on the shine of adventure, blue irises glowing even brighter in anticipation. "I wanna go!"

The white haired man shrugged, grabbing both poles back up and looking down-slope to where Tsunade was speeding straight towards the lift, poles tucked under her arms. She could handle the last quarter of the slope perfectly at least. "Fine by me, gaki. Might as well follow you through there too."

"Yeah!"

So it was on their third trip that the two stopped before the entrance into the forest, Tsunade having declined – forcefully and not uncertainly – joining them. She also mentioned something about waiting at the bottom for the two with neck splints.

Naruto sent a look at Jiraiya, who just gazed enigmatically back, then gestured with a pole. "Your idea, you first gaki."

"Sure, throw me to the wolves," Naruto muttered under his breath, staring at the narrow path that took a sharp right turn not twenty feet in. "Here goes."

He leaned forward, using the momentum of his body to get his snowboard moving across the tamped down snow. Far too quickly. The trail steeped downwards for a moment before rising in a bump that Naruto almost fell over, brushing a tree for balance as he tried to slow his already-too-fast pace. Behind he could hear Jiraiya's snort of laughter as the man made his way more sedately along the trail, using each turn as a way to cut his speed.

It took the blond a few tries to pull himself out of the various powder drifts he found himself in – while he had begun to master the slope, this trail thing was a whole different kettle of fish where he didn't have room to maneuver. More than once Jiraiya had offered a pole to pull the boy out a deeper drift, and they weren't even too far along the trail yet.

But he did get the hang of the action of swinging around the curves, bending his knees and crouching to move with the hills and bumps in the path until his was flying down them, enjoying the wind rustling through his hair. At a split he took the right hand one without even a hesitation, hearing Jiraiya curse under his breath and swing around on a planted pole when the man was too close to the left hand path.

It was perfect, so much better and more exhilarating than the slopes.

"Told you I could do it!" he called back to the white haired skier behind him, ignoring Jiraiya's grunt.

"You said no such thing."

"Did too! I'm the _master_ of these – " Any further words were cut off and muffled by something hard and coarse pressed into his face. He desperately tried to backtrack, but his snowboard wouldn't let him do any such thing, and he began to lose his balance.

"_Naruto_." An arm yanked around his middle and pulled the boy away from whatever it was he had run into, his vision first filled with brown, then slowly solidifying into…a moose?

"_I ran into a moose?"_

"Shut up!" Jiraiya snapped, side stepping with his skis and keeping a wary eye on the horned animal. It didn't seem to have noticed their presence, which was all for the good.

Naruto's eyes were wide and still fixed on the moose when Jiraiya prodded him in the back to get him moving. "_Now, _gaki, before it decides to gut you." That got the boy moving, and Jiraiya poled quickly after him, relieved to get away from the creature.

"You two get lost in there?" Tsunade called out as first Naruto, then Jiraiya, shot off a small hill at the end of the path and received a bit of airtime.

"I ran into a moose!" Naruto shouted the moment he righted himself from the pile he had become upon landing.

Tsunade turned skeptical eyes to Jiraiya, but he only shrugged and nodded. "Big thing, too."

Immediately the blonde woman fell to her knees – or rather butt – next to the boy, skis awkwardly splayed to the side, and began checking him over for any rips in his clothes or cuts. "And you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," he batted her hands away. "It didn't even notice. It was so huge…" His eyes were still round, visible behind tinted goggles. "Ow!" Tsunade had smacked his head, hard. "What was that for?"

"For not watching where you were going and _running into a moose_! Honestly." Two attempts and she was standing once more, brushing snow from her jacket. "Well if you can come out of that unscathed, I guess you can survive anything."

"Yeah! Does that mean we can try the blues now?"

"Oh Kami no."


	335. Goldfish

Partially based again off my own experience, where a friend thought I was talking about actual goldfish when I meant the cracker...thanks to Addster for helping me expand it.

* * *

Goldfish

"Mommy I want some more!" Jiraiya heard as he opened the door to their home after a long day of work. "Pwease?"

"And what are they called?" Tsunade's voice came from the kitchen. Jiraiya smiled at her patient tone, the voice she so often used with their son when she was trying to teach him something, be it manners or words.

"Fishies!"

Fishies?

They had pet fish, living in a tank upstairs, three nice pretty medium sized goldfish…she wouldn't, would she? No, surely not. But just to make sure…

Jiraiya mounted the steps, not even noticing that they didn't make a sound, as heavily carpeted as they were, and strode down the hallway towards the lit tank at the end of it. "How are you today, Gama-chan, Ryuu-chan, Toto-chan?" The inside of the tank had a castle for the pets to swim in and out of, brightly colored gravel on the bottom, and various plants strewn throughout for aesthetic effect.

Usually at least Toto-chan was visible, lurking near the bottom of the tank eyeing the gravel for more food, but this time Jiraiya didn't see him anywhere. "Toto-chan?" He tapped lightly on the glass, trying to lure the fish out of wherever he was hiding. Not even a flicker of a fin.

"Ryuu-chan?" The darker goldfish usually hid inside the castle, so Jiraiya reached into the tank and the somewhat warm water, lifting the pottery sculpture up enough so he could see underneath. Nothing. No, surely the fish was playing hide and go seek. The white haired man lifted the castle even higher, until it was completely out of the water.

Nothing. The tank was completely devoid of goldfish.

The white haired man blanched, turning to stare down the stairs. She would.

He took the steps two at a time, barreling down them and into the kitchen just in time to hear "eat all the goldfish up, Naru-chan!"

"Tsunade, I can't believe you would feed our son goldfish! How are we supposed to instill the value of keeping pets alive when you're _feeding_ them to him! Let alone that they're _family_! You're teaching him to eat family! And if their family that's like cannibalism! Don't turn him into a cannibal!"

Tsunade looked up at her husband from where she was sitting at the kitchen table, hand outstretched to Naruto as he picked at the snack she held with saliva-coated fingers. Every time he selected his next victim, loud crunching noises ensued.

Jiraiya jabbed a finger at her, eyes only seeing the blonde and nothing else. "Besides, pet fish aren't safe to eat! They're tiny and have tons of tiny bones! He could choke! They probably have tons of diseases and stuff, not like farmed fish! We'll have to go get his stomach pumped, and then make sure he doesn't have any bones in his mouth, because he could _die_ Tsunade! And it's all your fault! You don't feed a three year old pet fish!"

Chest heaving, he didn't register Tsunade's laugh at first, golden eyes warm as she looked at him. "What's so funny? This is serious!"

"You." Her hand was empty now, and those wet fingers were probing at her palm in search of any more food.

"_Me?"_ Jiraiya took another deep breath, prepared to rant again, when the intervening silence was broken.

"Mommy, can I have some more?"

"May I have some more, Naru-chan."

The boy pouted. "May I?"

"Yes, you may Naru-chan." Tsunade reached her hand into the orange and white box sitting next to her on the table, drawing out yet another handful of orange crunchy crackers.

She watched as Jiraiya's eyes were drawn to the box, and couldn't suppress yet another laugh as he deflated completely, watching their son eat the goldfish crackers with relish.

"Goldfish?" he croaked weakly, sagging where he stood.

"Goldfish," she confirmed, brushing her free hand across her mouth to try to conceal the smile nesting there. "Not the swimming kind."

The white haired man snagged a chair and straddled it, resting both arms on the back. "But…" He looked completely confused and disconcerted.

"That was quite an interesting explanation you had."

Tsunade watched as her husband straightened once more, eyebrows knitted. "But then…where are the goldfish?"

"Upstairs."

"But I checked the tank! They aren't in there! So I thought you were feeding…" he waved a hand weakly in the direction of their son, who was currently engaged in having two of his goldfish fight each other, one with a smile and one without.

Again Tsunade snickered. ""We were cleaning the tank, and the water isn't done adjusting yet, so I thought I'd give Naruto a snack. Your timing is impeccable as always."

He had to be sure. "So the fish are still alive?"

"Yeah, they're in a bucket in the bathtub." Tsunade stood up, wiping her hand on her pants before holding out both arms to Naruto. "How about we go show daddy where the fishies are?"

"Fishies!" Naruto cheered, stuffing the remaining two goldfish in his mouth and reaching up to his mother to be picked up.

Jiraiya followed his family out of the kitchen, muttering under his breath. "Goldfish and crackers and snacks and bathtubs…how do they expect a man to deal with this?"


	336. Play or Eat

Just a strange idea that popped into my head. The game I have them playing is called SWAT if you're interested...^^;

* * *

Play or Eat

"Naruto! Time to eat," Tsunade called from the kitchen, her voice echoing through the open doorway to the common room next door. "Jiraiya!"

"Yeah, give us a minute!" Jiraiya called back, eyes fixated on the flashing lights and blur of motion on the television. The sound of plastic on plastic echoed after his words as his hands tilted to the side, the controller within grasped tightly in tense hands.

Next to him on the couch, the blond boy glared fiercely at the screen, one thumb rapidly pushing a large button on his own controller as the two characters fought. "Take…that! And that!" The screen began to glow a brighter red color on the bottom half, and Jiraiya let out a strangled yell.

"Not again!" In disgust the white haired man threw the controller on the ground and glared at the smirking boy next to him. "Cheater!"

"Naw, you just suck," Naruto informed his mentor with relish. "It only took a minute to beat you."

"Gaki, I'd be nice to me or your next training session will be hell," the toad sage warned, scooping up his controller. "Again. We got time."

"You just don't want to lose! It's about ten rounds too late for that."

"Shut up and shoot!"

Again the sounds of rifle fire filled the room punctuated by silences as the two snuck around trying to find each other on the map. "Where are you hiding, Ero-sennin? You know them buildings aren't safe." A loud blast punctuated his statement, and a burst of fire shot off one of the many roofs in the game.

"Missed me!"

"Boys! Get your lunch now, it's getting cold!" For once she decides to do something nice for the two of them, and they ignored her. Honestly.

"We'll be there in a minute!" Jiraiya shouted, glaring stubbornly at the screen where Naruto's character had just disappeared from his sight. "Where are you hiding yourself, gaki?"

"Now that would be telling," Naruto smirked, panning around his area and spotting the small figure hiding up on a cliff. "Ah."

"Kuso," Jiraiya cursed under his breath after sending a quick glance at the kitchen door to make sure Tsunade wasn't standing there. He quickly backed his character away from the edge of the cliff he had been peering over, scanning rapidly to try to find where Naruto was hiding. "Take this!" and a grenade went flying over the edge.

"Missed me," Naruto stuck his tongue out, taunting. Then his own screen flashed red as some stray bullets Jiraiya was sending in every direction connected. "Crap!"

"Hah!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Get in here now and eat!" Tsunade yelled from the kitchen, at the end of her patience. Whatever food she had put on the table had lost its steam, and was sitting cold.

This time they didn't even respond, too wrapped up in their little shoot 'em up battle. Naruto snuck up behind Jiraiya on the cliff, gunning the man down from behind.

"Traitor!"

"Only if I'm your side to begin with!"

"I swear I'll get you!"

The battles passed in a whirlwind of color and sound, plastic clicking and squeaking in their hands, and eyes glued to the television screen. Tsunade leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen to common room portal, glaring daggers at both males.

"Last warning," she hissed, all goodwill gone. Not even a flicker of attention in her direction.

The blonde uncrossed her arms, fists clenching themselves tightly. So that was how they wanted to play it?

Over the roar of exploding grenades they threw at each other, the rattle of bullets and Jiraiya's exclamations of "I've got you this time, gaki!" Tsunade stalked into the room, stopping just out of their vision for a moment.

"No!" Naruto yelled, seeing his character about to die. Jiraiya crowed with glee, anticipating the moment he saw the final screen detailing his kill in official text.

"You're going to owe me, gaki! You lose the bet!"

_Smash_. Tsunade's fist planted itself right through the television screen, covered by a protective shield of chakra to keep any stray electricity or glass shards from harming her. The image on the screen immediately flickered and died, leaving behind only a grey-black blankness and shattered glass on the carpet below.

Deliberately, the woman removed her fist from the screen and eyed the apparatus on top of the television. Ah, the humming device. Just as deliberately, her hand came down hard on the PlayStation sitting there, crushing it into a pile of plastic and chips.

"What did you do that for?" Jiraiya yelped, staring at the controller in his hand which was attached to the now useless electronics. "You killed it!"

"Lunchtime." It was a statement as Tsunade turned to glare at both boys, fists still clenched and coated in chakra. She wouldn't hesitate to use them on one or both if they didn't shift their asses to the kitchen _immediately_. She had been nice and made them lunch, damn it, and been _ignored_. Well, they'd learn they couldn't take her for granted.

Naruto hauled ass quick, having been the receiving end of her temper far too recently to want to tempt it again. Besides, because of her, he won the bet. And it wasn't his game system or television.

"You killed my television!" Jiraiya was still incredulous, obviously forgetting the pain that could ensue by disregarding his teammate's rage.

"Yeah. So?"

"You –"

"Jiraiya I swear to you if you don't get in that kitchen _now_ and eat, the television won't be the only broken thing in this house."

"No, the PlayStation will be too!" he sniped back. He quickly had to dodge up and off the couch as her fist smashed right where he was sitting. "I'm going, I'm going!"

In the kitchen, Naruto had already started in on the cold food. "This is great, baa-chan!" Liar.

Jiraiya plopped down sullenly next to the blond boy, grabbing up his chopsticks and picking at his food. "This is blackmail, making us eat by threats."

Tsunade's glare pinned him until he shoved a few pieces in his mouth. "You'll eat and you'll be happy about it." She pulled her own plate out of the still warm oven and set it down, steaming, on the table as well.

"You –" Jiraiya began incredulously, then quickly shut up as she snapped a dangerous glower in his direction for even thinking of commenting on how _her_ food was still warm. "Eating."


	337. Jenga

We make another return to the world of games. In another note, I'm now obsessed with the music to the musical (not movie) Billy Elliot. Especially Solidarity and We Once Were Kings. Heading to Ohio tomorrow for Xmas, so it should promise to be a long day...^^;

* * *

Jenga

Sakura frowned with concentration, reaching forward and pausing with her hand hovering right next to her chosen target. Her fingers brushed the ridged edge of the piece and paused again, eyeing the tower for any wobbles. Only when she was sure there was nothing structurally unsound did she prod at her chosen piece, poking it out to the side and back until she could draw the wood out carefully.

"Score!" She waved the block in front of Naruto's face gleefully, watching his blue eyes follow the piece before she placed it firmly on top of the stack. "Your turn!"

The blond boy scowled at her, although his smile belayed the expression. "You stole my piece!"

The pinkette stuck her own tongue out, scrunching her nose at her teammate. "You have tens of other pieces to choose from, there's no way that piece was 'yours'."

"Was too!" He pointed a finger at the hole left in the piece's wake. "It was perfectly loose, and there aren't any blocks taken within four levels of it!"

Tsunade let out a scoff, punching Naruto lightly in the shoulder. "You actually put that amount of thought into your choice?"

He grinned back, all whiskers and mischief. "Nope."

"Enough tactics," Jiraiya interrupted, reaching his own hand forward. He poked one index finger at a block halfway up the wooden stack, pushing it out the other side towards Tsunade. When it started moving back, the white haired man frowned and poked at again, shoving the wooden piece most of the way out of its confinement.

Tsunade hid a grin behind her hand, placing one finger on the other end of the block and pushed as well, stopping the Jenga piece from moving any further.

"It's stuck!" the man exclaimed, lowering his eyelevel to stare at the piece intently. "I won't…" he reached around the tower, careful not to jar the precariously placed pieces, and bumped into Tsunade's hand. "Hey!"

She gave the piece one more push, sliding almost all the way back into its original position before letting go. "What?"

"That's cheating!"

"Is not, I didn't knock the tower over."

"You tried to! I could have made the whole thing fall down!"

"Then you would have lost, it wouldn't have been my problem."

"Would so! Your fingers!"

"Children, children," Sakura announced, placing a calming hand on each knee. "Just finish the turn."

Tsunade raised a mocking eyebrow at her apprentice, but took her fingers away from the block and let Jiraiya draw it out completely. He sent a glare her way before placing it on top next to Sakura's own piece, and sitting back with his arms crossed. "There. Your turn, hime." He drawled the last word.

She smirked right back at him, manicured nails easily prodding out a piece on the level above Jiraiya's, making both males catch their breath as the tower wobbled slightly. The stack was already filled with holes from their half an hour and counting long game, and no doubt it was only going to get worse. They had forsaken the pieces at the bottom already as holding far too much weight to even think of moving, but they couldn't move pieces within five rows of the top either. "Your turn again, Sakura."

The pinkette narrowed her eyes at the tall tower, nearly twice as tall as when they had begun. There were so few good moves left, every single one was strategic. She scanned the pieces, biting her lip when she spotted the slightly jagged one. It was skewed slightly outwards, showing itself as loose. The silence was so deep, she flinched when Naruto yelled. "Go, Sakura-chan!"

"Naruto!" Her immediate reaction was to try to slap the boy, but he was on the other side of the Jenga tower and she almost toppled it instead. Only a quick grab from Tsunade kept her hand from hitting it.

"Watch it, Sakura! You that tired of us already?"

"Naw, just of you Tsunade."

"I would think a pervert holds much more of an annoyance factor."

"Just for you, hime."

"Oh, you don't have to."

"You're turning down my undying –"

"If you value your head, you won't finish that sentence."

Jiraiya clasped his hands dramatically to his chest. "You wound me, hime." The muffled giggles from the two younger shinobi brought smiles to both Sannin. Sometime during the exchange Sakura had made her move, and sat back with a relieved sigh.

"Naruto's turn. Don't you make it fall, gaki!"

"Don't jinx it!" the blond shot back, glaring fiercely at Tsunade. She gave him an eloquent shrug in return, 'your luck isn't my fault'. His tongue protruded from between his narrowed lips as he eyed the structure, probing lightly at a few blocks to search for any loose ones. No such luck, every brick was stuck fast in place.

When it took him more than a minute or two, Jiraiya poked him in the side. "Go on, gaki. Half the fun is making it fall anyway."

"If you say so…" again that mischievous grin made its appearance, and Naruto grabbed the edge of one of the blocks. "In that case…_Jenga!"_

The other three shouts of Jenga echoed over the loud clatter of falling wooden bricks.


	338. Intervention

Addster's idea, I hope I didn't make it over-dramatic ;) Used some of her lines as well. Why do I keep wanting to spell 'Intervention' with an S?

* * *

Intervention

"I'm really worried about him."

"This isn't healthy in the least, he needs to see it."

"But he's been doing it for so long…"

"That's what makes it so dangerous. This needs to happen."

"You're right, I suppose."

* * *

Naruto walked into his apartment, reaching blindly for the light switch. The sun had set long ago, even though it wasn't all that late in the evening. For some reason baa-chan had made him take a pretty time-intensive mission, having him run all over the village trying to do things that really could have been put off for a bit longer. But that was the price he paid when he had bargained for ramen money.

For some reason the light switch didn't work, but that didn't surprise him. For a while now the landlord had refused to fix the circuits in his apartment, despite Tsunade's threats that he'd better or lose pretty much all income. The blond moved forward a few steps, not fazed by the darkness, but stopped when the lamp in the corner clicked on of its own accord.

"Ero-sennin? Baa-chan? Sakura-chan? What are you guys doing here?" Naruto frowned, taking in each of his three friends. Tsunade was standing with her arms crossed, Jiraiya leaning in the corner next to the lamp, and Sakura was sitting in his reading chair. All three looked at him with sad eyes. "What happened?"

The white haired man let out a sigh. "You happened, Naruto."

"Eh?"

"It's you and the ramen, gaki. It's got to stop."

"You want me to starve?" Naruto gasped, taking a step back and one hand flying to his heart. "C'mon Ero-sennin, you trying to renege on your promise to me? You said you'd buy me ramen for a year if I mastered Hirashin!"

"I know, and I was wrong." Jiraiya ran a hand over his hair, taking a step forward. "Don't you see what it's doing to you?"

"Naruto," that was Tsunade, uncharacteristically soft as she uncrossed her arms and moved towards the boy, "it's ruining you."

"You keep saying that," Naruto grinned uncertainly. "But it's so good." Out of sheer habit he moved over to the stove and put the kettle on to begin boiling, then pulled a cardboard cup out of his cupboard. Before he could even tear it open, it was ripped out of his hands by his teammate. "Sakura-chan?"

"I can't watch you do it," she told him, emerald eyes brimming with tears. "I can't just sit there and watch you destroy yourself."

Again the blond grinned, warily eyeing each of his friends. "Great joke guys, trying to take my ramen. But seriously, I'm hungry, c'mon Sakura-chan." He made a swipe at the box, but the pinkette had already backed away, holding it tight and shaking her head slowly.

Then suddenly Tsunade was in front of him, holding her boy tightly next to the oven. "Think about what you're doing to yourself! If you keep eating only ramen, you'll give yourself diabetes and high blood pressure!" She moved away, holding him at arm's length by the shoulders for a moment, during which he could see a tear track its way down her cheek, before pulling him in tight to her chest once more. "Your health is more important than your wants."

Now Naruto frowned; he didn't like seeing the elder blonde cry. His arms were restrained by her hug, but over her green-clad shoulder he could see Jiraiya nod solemnly.

"Gaki, do you have any idea what you've paid to eat ramen every day?" He moved closer, putting a hand on the blond hair where it rested on Tsunade's shoulder. "I've been writing best-selling books for years, and you've nearly drained my accounts. Not to tell of your own funds."

"I have enough money to get by," Naruto insisted stubbornly, fighting to get one arm free so he could wipe that distressing tear from Tsunade's cheek. She refused to let go, however, keeping him there.

"I know exactly how much you have, and it's barely enough to pay the rent," Jiraiya told him seriously. "I know all about your 'ramen fund' too, and it's empty. You think Tsunade didn't tell me about your bargain?"

The boy looked abashed, burying his red face in Tsunade's neck. Her hand went to the back of her head, keeping him there.

"Naruto." That was Sakura again, moving forward and tossing the instant ramen in the trashcan as she passed it. She placed a hand on his back, completing their circle. "Look at what it's done to you. Please."

"But…but it's so tasty." Now he was confused, feeling their pain for him but not understanding it. After all, it was food right? And cheap food at that. And so delicious…

"You can spend your money on better things. Imagine if you had enough money, you could go get barbeque," Jiraiya pleaded, obsidian eyes not tearing up, but laden with seriousness. "Isn't that even better?

"But…the ramen…it's so good."

"But it's not good for you," Tsunade cried, hugging him even tighter for a moment before releasing the boy. Now there were two tears running down her face, and that disturbed Naruto even more. Raising one hand, he wiped his thumb over the liquid, obliterating it from existence.

"You're...really worried for me over ramen?"

"Yes!" Sakura reached into the still open cupboard and flung the other door wide open as well, revealing column upon column of ramen boxes. "This, this isn't healthy for you! Naruto, you need to eat other things, or…" she broke off, choking on the words.

He was so far out of his depth. Everybody needed to stop crying. "I'll stop, I promise!" Anything to make them feel better. And Gama-chan had indeed been feeling the drain of ramen every night.

"You swear?" Tsunade's voice should never sound that watery, the blond decided.

"I swear. I'll eat whatever you want!"

"Just not the ramen, gaki. Anything but the ramen."

* * *

"Do you think we were soon enough?"

"I don't know, only time will tell. It's possible the ramen stunted his growth as well."

"You mean he might get taller than me?"

"What, scared of your student surpassing you in more way than one?"

"No…I just want what's best for him. The ramen had to go."

"Poor Teuchi, his stand just might close without Naruto paying half of his income."


	339. Merry Christmas

Again, thanks to Addster's magnificent genius! A Merry Christmas (or 4th? night of Hanukkah) to all of you!

* * *

Merry Christmas

Maybe there would be laughter and teasing. Maybe there would be bright streamers and bright lights winking on a Christmas tree, a tinsel war over presents and even a sprig of mistletoe hanging from a doorframe for them all to sidestep around. Frosted windowpanes and snow on the ground, just like in the fairytales. A snowball war outside, with icicles hanging off the eaves of a pretty house set in a yard. The storybooks had it all right, after all.

Naruto took another bite of his cereal, the milk cold in his bowl and his grip loose on the metal spoon. The sun wasn't even up yet but he was, looking through the windowpanes that were indeed frosted just as the stories told, but that frost would leave as soon as the sun rose, just as it did every morning in winter. Konoha was too warm for a proper white Christmas.

Maybe there would be other presents under a tree bigger than his own measly one, laughter echoing through the room as they exchanged gifts and joked over what was given. Maybe it wouldn't just be a single present to himself, the same thing he got himself every year.

What he wouldn't give for a family on Christmas time; sure he had friends in the village, but they all had their own families to spend it with and he wouldn't begrudge them the happiness. No, he would spend it alone just as he had each and every year since he could remember.

No, that wasn't quite true. Those three years with Ero-sennin had included two Christmases, where the pervert had gotten him a small gift and treated him to a meal, usually ramen. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to a boy who had never had anyone to spend the day with.

A soft sound behind him door broke the blond from his thoughts, but he dismissed it as the wind. After all, the wind often caused the old door to creak and move, sounding as though there was someone there. But no one would visit him today.

Again that same noise sounded, a little louder and more impatient, and he dropped the spoon back into the bowl, wondering who would visit him so early in the morning, especially on this day. He couldn't draw a name, but opened the door anyways.

"Hey, thought you'd be alone," she greeted him, her own blonde hair glittering in the predawn light as her breath misted in front of her and the cold bit at his nose. She wasn't even bundled up, just in her normal coat and heels, he noticed, before she took a step closer. "So, can I come in?"

Only after he had shut the door behind her did he notice the bag in her hand, not absurdly big, but large enough to hold a box or two. "Why are you here?"

She sent him a crooked smile, moving over towards the corner where his sad little Christmas tree stood, its few lights winking bravely in the grey predawn glow. "Didn't think you'd be doing anything either." From the bag she took three small boxes, placing them underneath the sparse branches.

He watched her actions with unblinking eyes, taking in the sight of actual presents joining his one lonely messily wrapped gift to himself underneath his tiny tree. It wasn't the picture painted by the books, but it was perfect to him. Bows tied neatly, corners folded crisply, even a note on one, addressed 'Naruto'. "I don't have your present wrapped yet…" he scuffed one foot on the floor, eyes downcast unable to meet her gaze. "I didn't know that –"

"I would come over?" she finished for him, moving forward those few steps and poking him lightly in the shoulder. "Then go and do it, I'll wait here." When he didn't move, she gave him a slightly harder push and said again "Scat."

While he was gone she looked around his sparsely furnished apartment, taking in the lack of decorations except for the tree and some attempted lights around the window. They winked sadly at her, more than half of them not actually working, just as the tree did. Her boy really hadn't had a true Christmas. He had told her as much that first year she was back in Konoha, but then Jiraiya had taken him away before she could celebrate a proper one with him. Well, now was the time.

When he came back, it was with a crudely wrapped package in his hand, tape being the thing holding most of the paper together. "Sorry, I haven't really had to wrap things much…" he trailed off, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly. Without a word, she plucked it from his fingers and set it underneath the tree, right next to her own gifts.

"So, have you ever had a Christmas ham?" she pulled the one other item she had brought from her bag.

They spent the day in a companionable friendliness, two lonely people on a holiday meant to be spent with others. They laughed, joked, threw wrapping paper balls at each other when they finally ripped the coverings off their gifts – Naruto more easily than Tsunade, due to his tape job on her present – and exchanged ideas of what they would do with their new items.

The only thing missing from his dream was the snow, but it was so insignificant compared to his joy in the current moment. He wasn't alone on Christmas.

It was nearly dark outside when she took his hand and tugged towards the door, leaving behind the mess they had made in his room. "What is it?" he asked, confused as to why she wanted to leave. It was cold outside, and there wasn't any snow.

"Trust me."

And he did. That was why he let her blindfold him when they were getting near the training grounds, why he let her guide him the rest of the way to wherever she had in mind, why he didn't ask 'why'.

When the ground changed from the hard dirt to something that went crunch under his feet, he was surprised. He had heard that sound only one other time in his life, three years ago. When she finally untied the blindfold, he couldn't believe what his eyes were telling him for almost a minute.

The first thing he noticed was the glittering white all around, encrusting the leaves of the large trees bordering the field, sprinkled all across the normally green grass. Not a blade shown through, and his own feet gave lie to the depth of the covering, nearly six inches. _Snow_.

Then he saw all of them. All of his friends, his teammates, his classmates, his _friends_, standing there in the field, all waving at him with silly grins wreathing their faces.

"Merry Christmas, Naruto!"

And he couldn't stop the laugh bubbling up inside until is escaped, eyes alight with joy as he turned to the blonde woman behind him, putting both hands on her shoulders. "Thank you."

"Don't look at me," she grinned back, her own eyes sparkling. "It was mostly their idea. Merry Christmas Naruto."

"Merry Christmas, everyone. And thank you."


	340. Natsuhiboshi

Possibly a bit confusing...^^; I loved this lullaby in the anime, so I decided it had to be given some worship.

* * *

Natsuhiboshi

Tsunade smoothed her fingers over the grass stems next to her once more, feeling their rough texture give underneath the pressure. A balmy spring night, and she had nothing better to do than sit out on a hill under the stars. No, that wasn't quite right. She had other, probably better, things to do, but she would rather not think instead of doing them.

After all, why willingly subject yourself to heartache?

So instead, she leaned back against the hill, feeling the dirt cold under her back and head, letting her hands lace loosely across her stomach. Above her the stars glittered in a nearly jet black sky, endless gems that looked as though they went on to infinity. No matter how many times she saw it, the effect was breathtaking.

"Nee-san?"

The teenager was broken from her musings by the soft call, her eyes drifting to the side until she could see the thatch of brown hair making its way towards her. The boy was six years old, and rubbing at his eyes with a clenched fist.

"What is it, Nawaki?" But she already knew, even as she sat up and reached for the small boy, drawing his unresisting body close.

"I had bad dreams," he mumbled, burying his face in her shirt, eyes closed and one fist clenching a fold.

She didn't have to ask what they were about either, knowing all too intimately why he couldn't sleep on tonight of all nights. They shared the same nightmares, always watching two people who had promised not to leave walking away and never looking back. Logically, it wasn't their fault, but when were dreams logical?

He didn't cry, even though his face was screwed up as he tried to make the pain go away. Tsunade brushed a hand over her brother's hair, the same way she had to the grass, and felt him relax incrementally against him. Only when he had released his grip on her shirt collar did the blonde lie back on the grass once again, letting her brother slip to the side until only his head rested on her stomach, also looking up at the stars.

Her fingers played with his hair, winding between the coarse strands that stuck out at all odd angles. "Nawaki, do you want me to sing?"

His small hand found her other free one, gripping two fingers tightly. He didn't say anything, or even nod her head, but she knew it was an answer.

It was a lullaby their mother had sung to them when each had bad dreams, sitting on their bedsides and running her own fingers through their hair, her voice a comforting murmur through the darkness, chasing away all the fears and monsters. A year ago.

"Natsuhiboshi, naze akai? Yuube kanashii yume wo mita."

Already Nawaki was relaxing even further, the tension leaving his small body as he snuggled even deeper into his sister's side. The familiar words were soothing, even if the voice wasn't quite the one he – or she – wanted to hear.

"Naite hanashita. Akai me yo."

The stars above weren't disturbed by even a single cloud in the sky blocking them out, shining clear. If she really searched, eyes moving across the sky in a slow sweep, she could even think she saw that red star her mother had talked about as residing there. That it wasn't actually a fairy tale. That maybe they were there.

"Natsuhiboshi, naze mayou? Kieta warashi wo sagashiteru."

It was the wanderer of the sky, or so she had been told, never staying in one place, and never tethered. Wasn't that the perfect place for those who had wanted to escape all the responsibilities thrust upon them? Forever free to roam. Maybe she could go there too.

No, Nawaki needed her, and it had been their reward.

"Dakara kanashii, yume wo miru."

Maybe eventually the nightmares would go away: he would stop waking up crying in the night, she would stop waking up with her heart pounding as she relived it.

Her mother had told her the lullaby came from a faraway village she had visited once, that it was for those who needed the reassurance they had more than nothing left. Searching forever for someone, something, with a red star to guide their path. And when those searches brought nothing once more, they slept in the same sorrow as every day before.

Nawaki broke the silence that had fallen once she stopped singing, her hand still slowly combing through his hair.

"Nee-san? We didn't leave right?" Underneath the question was his true query – you won't leave me, right?

"No," she gave him that reassurance, keeping him tied to their life and not lost to fears. "We didn't leave." I won't leave.


	341. Blood Ties

Again, Addster's wonderful idea, although this time my brother decided to make the process of trying to write as painful as possible by making it impossible for me to concentrate. Two hours this took, which is completely absurd. I'm really sorry if it doesn't live up to expectations, but at 3am I'm not about to go back and reread it...^^;

* * *

Blood Ties

"You only visited for the women, didn't you?" Naruto pointed an accusing finger at his sensei, eyes narrowed.

"I did not!" Jiraiya defended himself, shoving the boy lightly in the shoulder. "I was researching!"

"Yeah, the women."

Tsunade rolled her eyes, trying to ignore the squabbles of the two males at the front of their little group by examining the scenery of the main path they were travelling. They had been bickering over this small village Jiraiya had mentioned for the past hour, and she was tired of it. They had only left Tanzaku three days ago, and it was at least another week to Konoha.

"Look, gaki, the women of Odani aren't the reason I went there!"

"Odani, you say?"

A passing couple had stopped and was looking at the group of travellers with interest. The man nodded to Shizune and Tsunade, then continued "You been there?"

"Yeah." Jiraiya quirked an eyebrow at the man. "Why d'you ask?"

"Did you see them growing crops?" For some reason, the man seemed inordinately excited while his wife clutched at his arm, nodding furiously. "We've heard the stories, you see. Crops that just spring out of the ground at will, not even with water added or anything."

"It's said they can control the growth just with their mind," his wife added, leaning towards Jiraiya conspiratorially.

Tsunade tensed, even as Jiraiya laughed and clapped the man on the shoulder. "That I didn't see. I was too busy…researching…other matters."

"_I knew it!"_

"Shut it, gaki."

"That's too bad, I'd love to watch it sometime." The man nodded his head again to the ladies and stepped back. "Y'know, it's almost like magic, how they control the plants."

Tsunade stopped dead where she had begun walking away, and Shizune took a few more steps before realizing her mentor was no longer with her. "Tsunade-sama? Are you alright?"

"Y-Yeah, yeah." Making an effort not to shake herself or whip around and question the man further, Tsunade forced herself to look at her apprentice. "I was just thinking about what it would be like to be back in Konoha again."

"I can't imagine what it will be like after all these years either," Shizune sympathized, laying a hand on Tsunade's shoulder. The blonde tried not to flinch under Shizune's touch, she was still so on edge. "It's probably so different now."

"Mm."

Taking her lack of response as a reluctance to talk about the place of her birth, Shizune gave her mentor one more comforting squeeze on the shoulder and moved away, engaging Naruto in a conversation about ramen, a surefire way to get him to talk. Tsunade paced on ahead of her companions, crossing her arms tightly in front of her and rubbing her forearms. People who could grow their own crops with just a bit of concentration? Without a need for water, or time?

"So, about that research…" Naruto sent a glare at Jiraiya, and they were off again.

The only reason they stopped so early in the evening was for rations for the rest of their journey, and Jiraiya insisted there wasn't another town within decent walking distance – his definition being within a mile of a stream. Tsunade refused to come into the outpost with him, knowing for a fact that he would try to flirt with the owner's daughter in there while Naruto tried to drag him away. Besides, it gave her time to think, leaning against the wall of the building with her arms crossed.

Senju. Those people could possibly be Senju. No other clan had ever been known to have that precise control over plants but for her family, and _they were all dead_. Never had her grandparents, grand-uncle, or parents ever mentioned even the remotest possibility of there being other clan members anywhere but the village.

But. But the Senju didn't necessarily have a monopoly on the ability to grow plants, or the tales could be exaggerated. From mouth to mouth, a rumor grew the juicier it was; her own reputation as the 'Legendary Sucker' was a prime example. Anything out of the ordinary to a passerby got magnified and told again.

"Ya sure we got e'rythin'?" A man's rough voice came from around the corner, pitched low as though so no one else should hear it. "Gotta move t'night."

"Yeah, yeah," came another voice, impatient. "Don'tcha worry. Odani ain't gonna have nothing left by the time we done with it."

"Them gotta be rich though. How we gonna take it all?"

"Dumbass. Take some of them growing people, and we got a goldmine. Destroy the crops too, take the goods and the money. Ain't that hard."

"Yeah, then we'll be the rich!" She could hear the malicious glee in both voices, as they talked about enslaving helpless people who from all apparent information were simple civilians. Senju or not, talented civilians or farmers, no village deserved to be ripped off and destroyed by men who were simply out to make a profit.

The men moved on just before Jiraiya and Naruto came out of the outpost, arguing over some brand of rations the toad sage had bought and why they were all cardboard flavored, and Tsunade pushed herself away from the wall. What they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

None of them noticed – for all that they were trained shinobi – the drug cocktail she slipped into their tea, especially notable that Jiraiya didn't considering he had been dosed with it in the past few days. Some spymaster he made.

Regardless of whether or not the people actually were related to her by blood – which would be a whole other degree of mind-numbing that she didn't want to think about yet – she had to warn them. Preferably without them noticing her.

The blonde woman was a wraith in the night, slipping silently through the shadows leaving three snoring people in her wake, and in search of an obscure village not too far away.

Maybe.


	342. Great Man

The continuation you all were begging for - I was planning on it anyways! ^^ I'm not so cruel I would set up a plot like that and leave it hanging. Again, this whole idea is Addster's masterpiece!

* * *

Great Man

It was early daylight by the time she reached the village, having procured instructions after getting lost in the area two times during the night. Even shinobi weren't infallible when it came to finding places they hadn't been before, only compounded by being in a completely unfamiliar area trying to find a place that wasn't marked on a map.

Light was barely creeping over the fields when she stopped nearly half a mile from the village, surveying it. True to the various descriptions, it was surrounded by crops fields, all bare of growth currently which left very little cover to approach from. Well, she was a kunoichi, subtle shouldn't be a problem for her. In such a remote village, nobody should even recognize her by description. Even the big cities had proven that if you didn't draw attention to yourself, nobody would double check to see if you were someone 'famous'.

From her vantage point at the top of a gentle rise, she could see a few people moving slowly about the streets, even this early in the morning. Well, she could pass herself off as a weary traveller easy enough, and maybe not even be noticed. With that plan in mind, Tsunade slumped her shoulders, shortened her stride slightly, and moved towards the village.

The roads of the village were a little busier than they had seemed from the outside, people bustling to and fro carrying baskets of groceries and a few bolts of cloth among other small commodities. None of them gave her even a second glance, and Tsunade felt secure enough to glance around. There was still no sign of crops growing in the village, indicating their only source of income was those fields outside the main center. If they were clean now, it was quite possible the rumors about their ability to make them grow straight out of the ground was true.

But neither did the villagers seem to be Senju clan. Her clan wasn't exactly known for their total similarities, but they all had a certain structure to their face, a certain shape to their eyes, and especially a certain feel to their chakra. She couldn't even sense any chakra coming from the people around her. Their hair color ranged from black to nearly pure white, their skin cast following a similar spectrum.

"Hey, you," came the calm voice from her right, and Tsunade was broken from her thoughts, immediately on hyper-alert. She made as though to keep walking on calmly, not looking around so as not to seem suspicious, but the voice came again. "You, blonde lady."

Oh. Tsunade turned her head, pasting a quizzical expression on her face, and saw an older woman, grey hair falling loosely to her shoulders sitting on the front stoop of a building, waving her over. "Obaa-sama," she bowed formally to the lady, keeping her eyes down from the figure. "I don't know what you could want with me, I'm just a passerby…"

"You can't fool me, girl," the woman laughed, and Tsunade closed the distance between the two if only to get her to lower her voice. "I know why you're here."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm flattered you…"

Again the woman cut her off, waving her hand dismissively. "Come, come, you have his eyes you know." His eyes? She must have vocalized the question unknowingly for the old woman nodded knowingly. "Yes, the savior, you know. It was years ago now, more years than I care to remember." She gave a little chuckle. "But he was the one who saved us from starvation. The great Senju."

It shocked Tsunade to hear her family name coming out of someone else's mouth, especially when not attached to her own name as had been the case for so many years now. "So you aren't Senju?" She had to know.

"Heavens no," the elder shook her head with a smile then reached out a hand, poking Tsunade in the shoulder. "But you are." The blonde's startled expression showed on her face. "Like I said, you have his eyes."

"Senju…" Tsunade hinted, curious for anything more. If what the lady was telling her was true, a Senju _had_ been by, and that would explain the plants. And the only Senju with enough fabled control over the plants was…

The old woman shook her head knowingly, but answered anyway. "Senju Hashirama. Tall, dark hair, dark eyes. Just like yours," she repeated again.

"So you say he taught you?" Finally she stopped standing in front of the house and sat down on the steps next to the old lady, lacing her fingers lightly and resting both elbows on her knees. "Without chakra?"

"We don't need chakra for what we do. It's a connection with the plants, not quite like you have, but a connection nonetheless."

"I don't have it." Tsunade's voice was flat, masking her feelings on the subject. Plant manipulation was supposedly a bloodline of her clan, one that seemed to have died out with her grandfather.

"But you understand how it works. Chakra we may not have, but he taught us to _feel_ the plants, and created the link between us. One that is passed down generation to generation. Our land used to be barren and dry, but we had nowhere else to go and kept trying to coax life from it." The woman's eyes had become unfocused, looking at a different time. "Our land was dying, and so was our village bit by bit. But this one young man was passing through the country…he never did say why he came. A nice man too, he took one look at our fields and asked to meet with our elders. Nobody knows what he discussed with them, but when he came out he started teaching everyone, person by person, how to talk to the soil." She sighed, one filled with longing and remembrance. "It was as though a piece had been missing all our lives and suddenly restored. We could _feel_ the earth under our hands, could coax one seed into growing with just a touch of will. Our village wasn't dying anymore, with just one man."

"He was a great man," Tsunade said, her voice faraway as well, remembering the stories and pictures she had of her grandfather. The memories. "Through everything."

The old woman patted her on the knee, drawing the blonde back to the present. "I'm glad to hear that, dearie. It's good to know."

Tsunade opened her mouth to say something else when a scream echoed from the far side of the village. It was swiftly followed by other piercing screams and shouts, moving in a wave towards the two women's position. "What…"

The sound of rending wood created a silence so deep nothing could break it for a moment, before all she shouting began again, followed by other sounds of cracking wood and shattering glass. Large men made their way along the main street of the village, breaking down doors and windows and dragging people out of their beds and houses by the arm or slung over a shoulder, too disoriented to defend themselves.

They weren't warriors.

Those who were awake and moving around, and those who had heard the commotion were gathering in the wide square at the center of the village, eyes wide and clutching at whatever first came to hand – anything from books to fans to shovels. Tsunade and the old woman pushed off the steps, being absorbed by the crowd as well.

Tsunade's eyebrows knitted finely. Those men, who had been planning to 'take the village for all it's got'. Could they have arrived already?

With a touch on the old woman's shoulder and a whispered word, Tsunade excused herself and began to slip towards the front of the crowd, determined to intervene if necessary.

A man with scars crisscrossing his face and garbed in travel-worn clothes, holding a broadsword easily in one hand, was standing facing the crowd, eyes narrowed. He didn't seem to find what he was looking for, for he opened his mouth and roared "We hear the great Senju live here." He stabbed his sword down into the ground and opened his arms wide. "We wanna meet your leader!"


	343. Old Friends

So...this ended up much longer than I thought it would. What can I say, fight scenes in my head keep getting longer? ^^; This is the last part of Addster's wonderful idea, and I took some of her suggested lines =)

* * *

Old Friends

Whispers filled the air as people stared in fear at the man who was looking around, eyes squinted. "What's wrong?" he called, crossing muscular arms over his chest. "Ya scared? The great Senju?" He waited a moment, then turned his head to the side and spat. "Pah. A bunch of cowards. Ain't worth –"

He broke off as Tsunade stepped out of the crowd, eyes blazing with fury at the slight to her family's name. "I am the leader."

Again the whispers filled the air behind her, this time quizzical and confused.

"The leader? Who is she?"

"Our elders are still abed."

"She's a stranger to our lands, who is she to call herself our leader?"

One voice hushed all the others, strength infused in its tone. "_She_ is a Senju. She's the embodiment of our savior, the man who taught us."

"How can you be certain?"

"Can't you see it in her face? Watch. We are saved."

Tsunade paid no heed to the murmurs going on behind her, glaring daggers at the rogue in front of her. "Oho, so we do have a taker," he mocked, unfolding his arms and resting one hand on the hilt of his great sword. "Feeling brave, lady?"

"Brave? I don't need bravery to send you running out of here like a puppy with his tail between his legs," Tsunade retorted, sliding her right foot back slightly on the ground to shift her center of balance lower. "Or would you like to call for your buddies first to make it a fair fight?"

Immediately the smirk left the man's face, to be replaced with a thunderous rage. "Nobody insults me and gets away with it, blondie. You think I need _them_ to beat you?" He gestured to the other men behind him in a sharp movement, their own arms loaded with spoils with a few villagers huddled on the ground behind them. "I'll do it in five minutes."

"Tch. I'll give you five moves." Tsunade relaxed her posture, confidence radiating off of her body from the set of her shoulders to the quirk of her eyebrow. "Then it's my turn."

That stabbed his ego just enough. With a howl of rage the would-be-bandit ripped his sword out of the road and shot forward, sweeping the giant blade in an up-hand sweep meant to carve her from hips to sternum. Instead of waiting for the sword to come to her, Tsunade stepped inside his swing instead, one hand coming out to the side to push his right elbow outwards and redirect his strike sideways. The citizens on that side hastily backed up, not wanting to get caught in the fight.

The bandit wasn't fazed, instead turning his strike into an attempted hit with the handle of his weapon, trying to knock the blonde off balance where she stood, not half a foot away. She saw it coming and turned her shoulder to take the blow, deflecting it slightly with the slant of her body and instead receiving a glancing impact from the sword as she spun away, breaking his left-handed grip on the two hand blade. "That's two."

He stopped for a moment, resting the sword tip on the ground and allowing Tsunade a moment to try to figure out his next move, before he charged forward again, this time sword left behind sticking up straight from the ground. His right leg made a sweep at Tsunade's own and she dodged backward, planting one hand on the ground for balance as his fist swept through the air where her head had just been. Her shoulder twinged where it had been hit, but she ignored it. Her body could put up with far more punishment. "Three."

A whirling kick and a flurry of blows that she used her palms and forearms to deflect, each time redirecting the power of his hits to the side, and one meaty smack into her palm from his elbow aimed at her neck. She could see the muscles of his biceps, clearly visible where his sleeves had been ripped away, ripple with each movement. Arm muscles weren't nearly as good as chest muscles for reading movements however. "Four."

He howled again, obviously infuriated by his lack of progress against her and the apparent ease with which she was deflecting his hits. He sent a punch out at her abdomen, right leg sweeping around in a kick meant to take her legs out from under her, and he was too close. She had no room to dodge. When you can't move backwards or forwards or to the side, where do you go? Up.

As she bent her torso to the side, feeling the punch graze her ribs – possibly cracking one – Tsunade planted one hand solidly on the man's shoulder and the other on his outstretched arm and pushed up, throwing her whole body into the movement as she channeled chakra into her feet. She somersaulted over him, blonde hair hitting him in the face as she did so. Almost every pair of eyes followed her movement as she tumbled through the air, not all that far off the ground but impressive enough to civilians who hadn't seen a display of chakra in years and bandits who were watching their boss be beat.

With the instincts and training a kunoichi of her years possessed, Tsunade landed perfectly perched on the cross guard of the man's sword, facing away from him. "Five."

"Boys! With me!" her opponent roared, obviously done with fighting fair. "Take her down!"

Three of the other bandits hesitated, looking at the loot in their hands and the prisoners behind them, but the other four dropped their items and rushed in, already swinging. In one fluid movement Tsunade was off the sword and grabbing it by the handle, swinging the giant blade around to block an incoming fist with the flat of it, then pushing back against the man's momentum to break his arm and send him flying backwards into a building. The next man caught the tail end of that movement, the sword slapping him hard across the ribs and enhanced by a swift kick to the diaphragm to leave him curled up on the ground, gasping for air.

She had to step over him, avoiding his head, to block the dual daggers the next attacker, a woman, swung at her. A tap of two fingers to the bandit's inner elbow had one arm dropping uselessly, and Tsunade ducked under the other, then grabbed the offending attacking appendage and twisted it up behind the bandit's back.

She was shoved into one of her friends, and Tsunade knocked them both across the head, sending them unconscious. Then the bandit leader rushed her, determined to get his sword back and fists swinging at her abdomen. A sidestep and he clocked his own guy in the face, sending the man backwards reeling to the ground, and Tsunade knocked the leader across the back, also prostrating him. Before another bandit could rush her, she rolled him over with her foot and held the sword blade to his throat, pressing hard enough to draw a line of blood. "Come any closer and he dies."

It was always a gamble with bandit groups, whether threatening a member would do anything. Apparently this was one of the times she got lucky, for immediately all other attacks stopped. "Good. Now, you're all going to back up that way," she let one hand come up and point their way out of the village, "and when I think you're all gone, I'll bring this sucker," she nudged him hard with her knee, extracting a grunt from the man at her mercy, "out to you. Understood?"

They didn't answer, but their movements spoke enough. She had deliberately pointed in a way opposite from the citizens still gathered in the square, along the path of destruction previously caused by the bandits. When she was sure they were gone, Tsunade removed the sword from the leader's throat and pulled him up by the collar, then gave him a hard shove in the back. "Get running. And if I see you anywhere _near_ here again, you'll be begging for me to stop by the time I'm done."

He didn't stick around long enough to give an answer.

Tsunade looked around the square, now that she could spare the attention. Even without enhancing her strength all that much, she had still killed two of the bandits that attacked her, their bodies sprawled on the dirt-packed ground.

There were more whispers coming from the crowd, and no one seemed eager to approach either her or the bodies. Tsunade stood there awkwardly, leaning on the broadsword her opponent had left behind.

"Is she safe?"

"She was defending us, but we don't know her."

"How can we trust that she's…"

There was a disturbance from the crowd and someone pushed their way to the front, shoving people out of their way. The old lady Tsunade had been talking to before stepped out into the large space between Tsunade and the villagers, and held out her hands to the woman. "Thank you, Senju." The murmurs increased at the name. "Once again, one of your blood has saved us, and for that we owe you our thanks."

"No, you don't," Tsunade countered, feeling awkward with all those eyes fixed on her expectantly. "I just helped out."

The old woman just smiled knowingly.

It took about three hours to clean up the square from the battle and redistribute what possessions had been looted. The houses themselves and the structural damage to them wasn't even a minor inconvenience to the people, for they simply place their hands on the outside wall and the holes and rends mended themselves.

Tsunade stood by the steps she had been sitting on before the attack, little children surrounding her and playing with the hem of her long green coat. "I just came here to find out if you were Senju," she told the old lady, apologetically. "I really should be heading back."

"Yes, yes, of course you should," the woman agreed, giving a young girl a light push in the back when she tried to decide the elder's dress made a good plaything. "But before you go…" Reaching into a pouch by her side, she brought out a small colorful item, and pressed it into Tsunade's hand. "It should be passed on now. It is time."

Tsunade opened her palm and it took her a moment to figure out what she was holding. A small wooden doll, dressed in a forest green garment, with – "Thank you." It had been so long since she had seen the Senju clan symbol anywhere; she never returned to the clan compound.

"He gave it to me when I was a young girl, you see." The old lady winked. "Such a kind young man, looking out for everyone. Now, get on with you."

* * *

When she got back to the inn, Naruto, Jiraiya, and Shizune were groggily awake, her dosing having just worn off.

"Where'd you go?" Jiraiya slurred, voice not quite clear as he tried to get his tongue to work properly.

Tsunade felt the wooden doll pressing into her hand, and smiled. "To visit some old friends."


	344. Fire and Ice

I blame all my essays recently for making me think existentially, and hence this came. Props for figuring out who I'm talking about, but it's pretty darn obvious.

* * *

Fire and Ice

Alone on a winter's night.

Fingers clutched firmly around a warm mug, steam rising from the liquid inside upon the frosty air. There was no heat in the little hut the elder stayed in, save for from the small fire flickering in the grate. Just large enough to warm hands knobbed with age.

Outside the window was snow piled high, pushing against the one window frame set next to the door. Snowflakes swirled past the glass, nearly invisible in the lack of light of nighttime, but the howling wind gave voice to their presence. The noise was reminiscent of those times long ago, and the figure lifted the cup to their lips with a soundless sigh, blanket slipping off their shoulders from the motion.

How many years had it been now? Far more than should be counted, faded in the mind like a picture bleached by the sun. Times of happiness, then sadness and sorrow, of purpose and conflict, of deceit, of betrayal. Then the moment it all started over, the past wiped away and given a clean slate. That was the most remarkable of all, as easy as a hand brushing over the top of the snow and smoothing away a footprint.

The figure raised a hand and from the mug, a tendril of water rose as well, sinuous as a snake. Fingers opened wide, spreading the palm, and likewise the water flattened into a disk hovering in the air, not more than a millimeter thick. Through the water the flames shown in brighter oranges, their light magnified and playing across the elder's face and the walls behind.

A clench of the hand and the disk crumpled upon itself, ceasing to exist but for one small point of compressed water. So gone was the past, forgotten but for the memories stored in an ancient brain, ones not dragged out of their dusty box in a corner for the longest time.

Raven hair, still dark even after all years gone by, fell into his eyes and obscured his view of the flames. Fire. It burned away all the lies and the cobwebs until the truth was visible. But just so it consumed everything in its path. A flick of the fingers and that small ball of water flew into the fire, sizzling until it was nothing more than a memory itself.

He remembered being a small child, sent out to gather the wood so they could have a fire on cold winter days and nights just like this one, building the flames high until they licked at the metal bottom of the pot. Meager meals when all the plants were buried, shared around the fire with rags wrapped around their hands to keep them from getting too cold.

Playing with the water, watching it shape itself to his will until there was yelling, yelling, pain, blood, screaming, screaming, death. Blackness.

Sitting and watching people pass by, huddled in rags against the driven snow, becoming one with the element. Frozen, unmoving, empty, nothing. It was nothing, he was nothing, but something to be stepped on, ignored, forgotten. Until him.

Like a torch burning away all the nothing and the blackness, giving him a purpose, teaching him how to become a weapon. He would gladly be that weapon if it meant not being alone, because being alone was to be nothing, and to be nothing was to not exist.

Although those years were the good years, when he lived to belong to one and one alone, he tried not to remember. No personality, no identity, simply to be a tool to be used to an end.

And then the even larger wildfire had set him free, consuming the torch and burning away his restraints, showing him he could be more. He didn't just have to be used, he could _be_. Not a tool, a person with thoughts of his own, ideals of his own, a _purpose_ besides someone else's.

That was the hand to wipe the snow clean, to brush away his past. Again his own hand rose from his lap and a string of water followed the movement, but this time it solidified into a star of ice. He had followed the stars through cold nights, trudging through the snow that had no effect upon his body, so attuned to the element was he.

His life after that, he didn't know where it had gone. Settle down peacefully, where nobody looked twice at a strange boy-turned-man with long black hair. Seldom use the gift that had ruled his life up to that point, only when he needed that sense of comfort and a reminder of the flame.

His hand extended towards the fire and the star followed his movement, hanging in the air right before the heat of the blaze, not even losing a hint of its shape to the fire. His ice would not melt to the flame, instead proving itself to be resistant and strong. He had taken a lesson from his power, and learned to be himself.

With a sigh, he let his hand go limp and the ice-turned-water splashed to the hearth below. And now he was alone, just as he had been his whole life.

Alone on a winter's night.


	345. Eggnog

Definitely a bit strange, the original idea of spiked eggnog was freewolf17's. Hope it works well...^^;

A few points.

First off, Tales of the Leaves had officially reached 2000 reviews! I think I died of happiness, for real. Addster was the 2000th reviewer, you get _anything_ you want! I swear! Thank you so much to all who have reviewed up until now, especially those who have reviewed every chapter! You mean so much to me that you do it ^^

Point two - yes this is a bit early for New Years (falling on the day of the 31st) but this is for a reason. I won't have time (most likely, to the point of 99% positive) to write a story tomorrow. Or probably the day after. This is for a reason...

Which is point three. I'm going to Japan for a Wintermester class, 20 days long, which is coincidentally 13hrs timezone-wise and 20hrs by plane from where I live. So this straight off means I'll be incommunicado during the trip. I _can_ and _am_ bringing my laptop along and there will be wireless some places, but not others. Also, I'll be hiking the mountains so chances are at the end of the day I'll be exhausted. _Due to this_ I will not be writing a story every day probably - I can't promise when I will and won't write them during those 20 days.

Which leads to point four. My goal with this story was to update daily for a straight year. Now this hasn't happened straight off the bat, and obviously won't be every day in the coming three weeks. But I _will_ be stopping after 365 stories. This means Tales of the Leaves is beginning to draw to a close, with twenty stories left. I'm definitely going to miss it, and I have no idea what I'll do after it's done. But I feel I should tell you all of this now, instead of dropping the bomb later.

* * *

Eggnog

Her special eggnog, laced liberally with a special sake she had imported from Snow Country, mixed to perfection to taste just right, set aside to chill in the refrigerator until she took it out two hours before the party, labeled 'special eggnog' in the kitchen and set in a corner next to the regular eggnog – which in retrospect was just asking for trouble – was _gone_.

And she had just the idea who the suspect was.

He was blond, stood maybe six feet tall, male, tan, broad shoulders…and had breath that smelled of her divinely tasting sake. All of which she had put in that eggnog. Oh, he would _pay_.

Tsunade stalked out of the kitchen, a decidedly empty cup clenched tight in her hand, a white paper sign with the words 'special eggnog' flapping off it to fall to the floor behind her. Cursing under her breath she backtracked two steps, scooping the paper up with a quick snatch of her hand, then continued on her way with eyes narrowed. There was her target, leaning against a wall laughing about something.

Except there wasn't anyone else in the room.

Well, that would be fixed. And then maybe she would take great pleasure in shoving him under a cold bucket of water to sober the kid up before the party that night.

"Baa-chan!" Naruto shout-greeted as she entered the room, moving like a predator who had sighted her prey. "I don't –" he pushed away from the wall, stumbling slightly despite a shinobi's fabled balance, "where are all the people? It's party time!" He slung one arm comradely over her shoulders, and she could smell the fruity tang of _her_ sake on his breath.

"Naruto," she responded to the greeting with false cheer, ducking out of his arm and watching as he stumbled a couple steps forward. That sake had been blessedly strong, enough to even knock her after her years of drinking for a loop – to someone who hadn't had more than a taste of alcohol before? Devastating. "Can you tell me what this says?"

He squinted at the piece of paper she shoved in his face, one hand coming up to clumsily grab it and pull it away from two inches from his eyes to a more readable distance. "Special eggnog."

"That's right, special eggnog," Tsunade told him pleasantly, and her smile was anything but nice. "And it was in this cup." She pushed the – rather nice in her opinion – large glass into his hand. "Why did you drink it?"

"…Eh?" Apparently she had reached the limit if his cognitive abilities while drunk. "Whaddya mean? I drank eggnog 'cause I was thirsty, and it was…" his brow furrowed in thought. "It smelled funny. But I haven't had eggnog before." He shrugged and his whole face brightened. "It tasted good!"

It took all her willpower not to smack her hand to her forehead at that very moment. "Of course it tasted good, because it was _my_ sake eggnog. And why were you drinking it anyway? You know the eggnog is for the party tonight!"

"But I was thirsty," he whined, nearly slipping sideways and tugging on her sleeve for balance.

"_Then you drink water_."

He sent her a hurt look, blue eyes full of reproach. "You don't drink water on New Years!"

"It isn't New Years yet." If that was the best excuse he could come up with he'd be as black and blue as the plums used in her sake had been.

"But it's tonight! And…and…hi Ero-sennin! I did it!"

What?

Tsunade spun around, glass still clutched in her hand to see her white haired teammate step in through the door to the suite of rooms they were using for their big New Years party. The big question, was why was he there early, and what did Naruto do that the pervert knew about.

"What did you do Naruto?" Jiraiya asked, placing down the large plate he had brought on the table against the wall of the room. He didn't seem to know what Naruto was talking about, so maybe he was safe from her wrath…

"I drank the eggnog!"

"Good for you!"

Maybe not.

Her hand tightened more on the stem of the glass she was carrying, until she was almost sure it would break under her grip. "You told him to drink my eggnog?" Her voice was low and venomous, promising trouble and pain for anyone who answered affirmative.

"Hm?" Either the white haired man hadn't noticed the wrath in her voice or he was completely oblivious as he uncovered the food he had brought. "Yeah, I told him to have the eggnog. You know, just to make sure."

Make sure? Make sure she didn't drink it and _enjoy_ her own special mix? Make sure her New Years was _miserable_? "Make sure of what?" Tsunade hissed, taking two steps towards Jiraiya.

Now warning bells went off in his head and the sage looked up at his teammate, eyes wide. "H-Hey now, if I knew you were so possessive of your sake, I wouldn't have –"

"Possessive?" She shook the glass in his face. "_Possessive? _He drank my whole stash!"

"You only have a cupful? Geez, how did you expect to share with the rest of us?"

What?

He had thrown her for a loop and apparently it showed on her face, for he closed the remaining distance between them and put a condescending hand on her shoulder. "Eggnog? For the party tonight? For us to toast the New Year?"

Oh. "He didn't try _that_ eggnog," Tsunade shrugged off the hand, her tone disgusted. "The idiot drank my special eggnog instead. More than half sake."

Whatever Jiraiya had been going to say was cut off as he choked and shot another look at his student wo was waving his hands in the air and making airplane noises. "He did what? And he didn't save some for _me?_"

Tsunade punched him hard in the shoulder, although not enough to make him fly backwards out the door. "Forget you, I didn't even get to _taste _it." To her eternal sorrow. It would have been wonderful…

"Hold up a minute. So Naruto is flat out _drunk_?" Oh, he knew the kind of sake she would put in her drink. More potent by far than anything they sold in a bar.

"Oh yeah."

"What would you say to…" he drew closer and whispered his plan for revenge in her ear, and she couldn't stop the sinister smile that spread across her features. Oh, he was good. Tonight wouldn't be a night Naruto would soon forget, drunk or no…although she still wanted to punch him all the way to Snow Country so he could get her another bottle.

Maybe after.


	346. Retrospect

I get a huge kick out of the fact that on 12:00am 1/1/2012...this story had 2012 reviews. That is just wonderful. Also, I forgot to put this in the last story, but the character I was writing about in Fire and Ice was Haku, for those of you who were confused.

I really didn't mean to let it be almost the whole trip before I put up a chapter here - internet has been spotty but that's no excuse - although I've been crashing at *gasp* 8-9pm most nights just because I'm so tired from everything we're doing here. But I did finally sit down and pound out a chapter, because I'm _determined_ to have posted at least one from Japan ^^ The idea is Addsters!

* * *

Retrospect

In retrospect, reminiscing in the middle of the Hokage Tower wasn't his smartest idea ever. But hey, it wasn't his fault! After all, that's where the pictures were, and it had been a complete accident he saw them in the first place. If Tsunade hadn't left that cabinet open, and if he hadn't seen the flash of something shiny, and hey, if she had shown him what was in there in the _first_ place, he wouldn't be sitting on the floor surrounded by pictures of a time he had nearly forgotten about.

Right in front of him was that all-important picture he had just _begged_ Sarutobi-jii-jii to make a copy of and give to him, and he had hung it above his bed so he could see it every night as he went to sleep. Of course the old man had just given him that gentle smile and ruffled his hair in one of the only kind gestures the three-year-old knew. And all were from his one and only friend in the whole village.

That day was oh-so-clear in his mind, one of the few bright moments he had as a child. He had burst into Sarutobi's office as usual, the secretary hot on his heels in determination to get the 'little hellion' – a phrase often used in place of demon in the Hokage's presence – out before he interrupted the all-important meeting Hokage-sama was currently engaged in. The four clan heads that were in the room with the Hokage had turned to stare at the little boy who raced between their chairs and hid under the Hokage's large wooden desk in various states of disapproval and amusement. The secretary made a quick retreat.

Naruto had vaguely known they were important people from seeing them around the village, but the only impressions he had of them at the time were '_scary, creepy, danger, lazy'. _Hyuuga Hiashi, Aburame Shibi, Inuzuka Tsume, and Nara Shikaku in that order watched the blond with either frowns – or in Tsume's case a bark of laughter – before Hiashi broke the silence. "Hokage-sama, why is the…" he paused to search for the correct word and when Sarutobi raised his eyebrows at the man in a silent warning, the Hyuuga continued with "…child, in an important meeting?"

"Naru-chan?" Sarutobi asked gently, placing his hand on the boy's back and not missing when Naruto flinched in automatic response. That told him more than he needed to know. "I am sorry, my friends, but we must postpone this issue until another time. Perhaps tomorrow?" For all that it sounded like a question, the phrase was an order that wasn't to be argued with.

Naruto watched as the four clan heads filed out of the room before finally coming out from underneath the desk and clinging to Sarutobi's hand. "Jii-jii!"

"Naruto, you know you can't just come into my office at any time," the Hokage lightly chided the boy, but his heart clenched at the signs of tears – always unshed – that wavered in the blond's blue eyes. "I have a job to do as well."

"I know…" and Naruto did that small gesture all children do that makes adults just want to pick them up and hug them, tucking both hands behind his back and scuffing at the floor with one shoe, eyes downcast. It didn't fail on Sarutobi either. In a movement he had scooped up the boy and placed him on the wooden desk he had been hiding under with no regards for the paperwork currently inhabiting the spot. "But I wanted to see jii-jii!"

Of course that wasn't the real reason, but the Hokage abided by the rules they had created time and time again. "Then how about some ramen?" For once the offer didn't have the boy jumping up and down with glee. "No? A picture perhaps?" That garnered a beaming smile from the boy.

"Yeah!"

He never forgot the days the Hokage would skip his own work to make the blond's days better, especially on the very common occasions the villagers decided to make his days hell. But slowly over time, Naruto got older, and then a new variable was entered into the equation.

A grandson.

* * *

"Naruto?" Tsunade asked again, shaking the boy from his reverie. Naruto looked up at her, still holding the photo of his three-year-old self beaming at the camera and putting bunny ears behind the most powerful man in the village.

"Yeah? Whaddya want baa-chan?" Naruto quickly put down the picture, shuffling it in with so many other memories of the old man so she couldn't pick it out. He didn't know why he was acting so defensively, except that those memories were _his_ and he didn't want to share them with anyone. Just as the later pain was _his_.

"Oi, gaki." Again Tsunade waved her hand in front of Naruto's vacant eyes, drawing the blond back to the present. "What are you doing messing around in my cabinets?" She didn't seem mad, Naruto decided after hearing the tone in her voice. More worried. About what? "Hey, don't you disappear on me again. What's wrong?" Okay, apparently about him.

The blond sent her his automatic happy grin, blue eyes squinting closed from its force. "Whaddya mean? I'm fine!"

She snorted, rolling her eyes. "Sure, and I'm the daimyo. You know better than to lie to me, gaki."

"What, can you smell it on me or something?" Naruto shot back, his hand – that still hadn't let go of that one photo – clenching reflexively. He felt fingers skim across the back of his hand and then pry his fingers open, pulling the photo from his grasp.

"Nice shot," Tsunade commented, taking in the happy smiles of both subjects. "You know he only let you get away with the ears because he liked you, right? Jiraiya tried to do that once and he ended up in the creek." Just as she had intended, the statement drew a true grin from the blond in front of her, one that faded quickly as whatever thought had been pulling him in dragged at his mind. "Naruto" – she used his name for once – "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing, really." Nearly invisible eyebrows knit in confusion. He didn't even know why it was affecting him so much _now_. "Just memories." A hand hit him on the back of the head and he jerked forward, then glared at the woman. "Hey!"

"Spill," she replied placidly, sitting back and crossing her arms, although the fingers of one hand twitched as though they wanted to repeat the action. "And don't be cryptic about it."

"Fine." His mouth thinned into a line for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. "I was just thinking about how when Konohamaru was born, the old man didn't spend as much time with me. Happy?" Naruto sent a belligerent glare at the now-Hokage.

"Why?"

"Why?" the blond repeated, not understanding her reaction. He had expected some kind of teasing, not a question in response.

"Why were you thinking about that?" Tsunade elaborated a little too patiently, arms remaining crossed.

That drew him up short. "Because…" he paused, searching for the reason, "because it meant we didn't do things like _that_ anymore." He gestured to the photograph. "He stopped caring as much."

"I know that isn't true." The words and the tone were calm, and Naruto found himself resenting them.

"Oh yeah? And how's that?"

"Because I felt the same way when Nawaki was born."

"No you didn't!"

"Oh? I dare you to tell me this isn't true. When Konohamaru was born you were jealous because you felt replaced. You hated the baby and you hated Sarutobi-sensei for spending less time with you and more with the kid. You ignored him when he did have time to spend with you because you wanted him to feel the same as you did." She took in Naruto's wide eyes and slightly open mouth. "Sound familiar?"

"But – !"

"Kid, you pretty much felt just like an older sibling." She waited a moment for Naruto to digest that statement, and she knew he had when his face relaxed from startled into thoughtful. "But you know what? Eventually you get over those feelings."

"Yeah…" he drew the word out, getting his thoughts in order even as he uttered the sound. "I mean now, Konohamaru really is like my kid brother, just as annoying as one too." His face twitched into a good-natured grimace. "But I didn't get to know him until right before the old man died."

"You know when I realized I loved Nawaki and didn't resent him for taking away the attention from me?" Now it was Tsunade's turn to look vacantly into the distance. "It was right after my parents had died and I was the only one he had left. When he clung to me in the middle of the night crying for them just like I did, but he hadn't known nearly as much from them as I had. He didn't know that secret smile tou-san had just for me, he didn't know kaa-san's secret recipe. There were things they had kept just for me, and he hadn't been old enough for him to have his own. It wasn't that they drew their attention away from me – just that it was _different_."

Naruto listened in silence, his hand unconsciously moving out and recovering the photograph of that happy day in the office, where Sarutobi had wiped away all the worries of a small child and replaced them with happiness for a small time. And he remembered all the times he had found his cupboards miraculously restocked with ramen, all the times Teuchi had waved off his money, saying someone else had already paid for him, the kind smile sent _just to him_ when the Hokage visited the Academy to give a lecture every once in a while. The times he had been summoned to the Hokage's office for no reason at all but to find a steaming hot bowl of ramen and a small gift waiting for him there. That's how he got his frog wallet and his sleeping hat after all.

"Maybe jii-jii…did the same thing. He did care as much the whole time." He hadn't called the old man jii-jii in so long. It felt good to finally bring that title back.

"It sucks that we only ever realize it after their dead, huh?" Tsunade smiled sadly, and Naruto shrugged one shoulder in a 'yes'.

No, maybe sitting in the middle of the Hokage Tower reminiscing wasn't the smartest idea in retrospect, at least with regards to dredging up old feelings. But it was definitely his smartest to date with regards to putting those old feelings to rest.


	347. Impossibility

This doesn't quite match up with the tone of the chapter but - I'm BACK! I'm back from Japan after 32 VERY long hours of travel, and damn but it's good to eat American food again, not that Japanese food isn't wonderful, but there's something about _pizza_. Yum. But oh, the stories I have to tell...and how rude Americans are in comparison. But that's another rant.

This also means I'll be doing dailies again until we hit 365...*sadpanda*

This idea is from Ella Unlimited - welcome back!

* * *

Impossibility

The rain felt like an icy finger down his spine, tracing the trail of bone where it was hidden under his loose sodden shirt. "Overconfident as always…" he whispered under his breath to the timing of a crack of thunder that swallowed his words.

The rain masked his tears admirably, but that didn't take away the pain that came with them, a soul-wrenching and heart-rending stabbing agony that he had anticipated for years, waking up screaming in the middle of the night from nightmares consisting of just this scene. But he had foolishly hoped it would never come to pass.

He had been too late after all: she had insisted on going out on her own, responding as the Hokage to a mission that didn't seem to strenuous. _"I'll be back for lunch, you worry too much." _By the time more information reached him from his spy network and he raced out after her, she had already been wounded.

A drop of blood fell on her forehead from his own wounds and mixed with the rain beading there as he bent over her body, two fingers automatically searching for a pulse as though a miracle could happen and the facts would change from just a few minutes ago. But no, there was no pulsing against his fingers, no movement of her life force throughout her body.

She was dead.

In the years since she had returned – nearly a decade now, they had become even closer than they were as children. Every wound she had put onto his heart up to that point – intentional or not – had healed during those years, salved over by a friendship that neither could define. All he knew was to him, she was the air, she was the water, she was the light, she was the darkness…and now she was no longer there.

The thunder rolled in the background again, as though calling out to him for a response. And respond he did, throwing back his head and keening his sorrow and pain to the heavens, ignoring the rain that fell upon his upturned face and washed away the blood upon it. The water mixed with his tears as the salty liquid burned in his wounds, wounds he had received trying to protect her damaged body from the rest of the attack. Too late.

_Words from so long ago. "Promise me that you won't cry for me." He shook his head at her request, rolled his eyes at the impossibility of it. "You know I can't do that." _

Not when finally there was someone who knew him better than he knew himself, and he her. Someone he loved more than – not life itself, for as a shinobi he knew how trivial life could be, but more than his sanity, his heart, and his soul.

Another bout of pain – both physical and emotional – wracked his body and he fell from his knees to supporting himself on all fours, one hand planted firmly on her chest…which didn't move.

It was too much.

His hand, covered in mud, worked its way under her head and neck, bringing her limp body closer to his warmth; somewhere in his mind lurked the hope that maybe if he could get her warm, keep her warm, maybe she wouldn't really be dead. An impossible hope.

_"It's just a message delivery, honestly." Her tone was exasperated as she took in his posture, arms crossed over his chest and an implacable look in his eyes._

_"Look, it's just that I know I've heard those names before somewhere."_

_She scoffed. "You're being paranoid, or…" her eyes narrowed, "Shizune put you up to this. Well, I need a break from all the paperwork, and this is as good a way to take it as any."_

_He knew better than to argue with her when she was in that mood. "Hime…"_

_"I'll be back for lunch, you worry too much."_

That one line continuously ran through his head as he cradled her torso in his lap, limp strands of sodden blonde – she wouldn't let it streak grey just yet – hair falling over his arm. "Hime…" The word came out so broken, his self-control broke with it.

Another scream tore its way out of his chest, echoing through the trees until it returned to him, sounding more tortured than when it had left. "Please! Please, just bring her back…for me…please. It's all…I'll ever ask…"

He waited a hopeful moment, wanting logic to be proven wrong just this one time, but when she remained just as lifeless as before, her pulse still in her body, something inside of him shattered, and time held no meaning.

At some point in those indeterminable hours he had shrugged out of his rain sodden coat, and it had ended up wrapped around her torso. Her hair had fallen to cover part of her face, and to all appearances it seemed as though she were only sleeping.

At some point, he had stopped cradling her in his lap and ended up prone next to her on the ground, looking up at the clouds that were slowly clearing to show a sky so dark the stars in it seemed to be so numerous as to be infinite.

At some point, he had grasped her hand in his, his thumb resting over the inside of her wrist as he prayed with everything he had inside that she return, no matter how impossible it seemed.

And at some point, when he was idly trying to count the stars and wondering if she was among them, he felt it faintly underneath his fingers.

A pulse.

Somehow he found himself leaning above her, one hand resting on her throat to make sure he wasn't imagining it. No, the blood beat sluggishly through her veins, a proof of the impossible. The stars held no appeal compared to staring at her face and waiting for the slightest movement.

He choked back a sob when her eyes slowly opened. "It's after lunch."


	348. Manners, Class, and Other Useless Things

Gah, LONG! Longer than I expected. Proof that I'm still on Japan time - it's 4:40 in the morning and I feel wide awake. This isn't helpful...

The idea came from Addster, who was kind enough to give me a _very_ nice outline to expand upon. ^^

* * *

Manners, Class, and Other Useless Things

Tsunade muttered to herself under her breath as she strode towards the main gate of the village, going over the itinerary in her head. Meet the man, make small talk about how wonderful the village was, lead him along only the largest streets, and get him to the Hokage Tower where they could safely talk business without any interruptions. Easy enough. Her eyes darted towards the sun once again, paranoid that she would be even a minute late. No, she had to impress this diplomat, failure was _not_ an option. They had agreed to meet at twelve noon, and from the position of the ball of fire in the sky she had ten minutes to get there. Easy, it was already in sight.

Villagers were bustling around on the streets, some deliberately hanging about the gates to their village, looking for a glimpse of the man she had warned not all the shinobi, but the civilians as well to be on their best behavior for, because he would change the future of their village. Naturally, the curious people wanted to catch a glimpse of such a man and whisper the tales through the streets that _they_ knew the truth. She rolled her eyes when she heard two men get into an argument over whose cart had bumped whose not fifty feet from the designated meeting point. All it took was a loud cough and they looked over at her – a pointed glare, and the two were shaking in their boots and bowing and apologizing. She had only given them a few rules after all – no brawling, no cursing, and no _mentioning_ their current economic state. It wasn't that hard, was it?

She wasn't standing at the gates very long – guards at attention and not lazing around as they normally did – before he showed up with his own escorts, walking primly to the entrance and looking around with a perfect polite expression. Unconsciously, the blonde woman held her breath as she awaited his initial judgment. It was true what they said, first impressions were the most important.

The man seemed to know she was tense, for he paused a moment, took a second look at two ladies who were walking by and giggling under their breaths and sending covert looks at him, before meeting Tsunade's eyes and giving one of those polite smiles she was sure politicians practiced in a mirror. "Hokage-sama, it is a pleasure to see you and your village. I am gladdened to see it in such a dignified and delightful state."

Tsunade fixed the smile to her face, inwardly cringing at his flowery language, and extended her hand. "Diplomat Kahei, I'm pleased you could join us today." She sent polite nods to his guards who stood at rigid attention, and gave a slight bow to the man who possessed all the money. "Shall we go?"

"Yes, let's." With a flourish that made Tsunade almost wince, he extended his arm towards her like a 'true gentleman', and like a 'gentle lady', Tsunade took it – promising all the while to herself that she was going to go tear the training grounds apart after this whole ordeal was over. "I must say, after the rumors I had heard, I expected your village to be much more…" he paused delicately and searched for the proper word, "uncouth."

The Hokage bristled slightly at that, but hid her reaction well. They weren't a fancy city after all, they had people who actually _worked_ for a living, and their lives weren't all pansies and roses! Instead, she gave a light laugh. "Well, you can't always believe what you hear, can you?"

"No, indeed not." The diplomat paused for a moment to observe a transaction between a shopkeeper and villager who both bowed to him the moment they caught sight of the pair, then continued on. "They are most polite. It may be slightly hasty to say this, but I believe our city shall profit quite suitably from our arrangement."

Oh, she hoped so too. Tons of money pouring into their treasury in return for protecting one of the more important cities in the Fire Nation? Easy money the moment the deal was struck.

They were only four or five blocks from the tower and the man attached to her arm was making noises about almost no negotiations – something she only appreciated all the more – when the first sign of trouble struck. After all, with her luck, nothing could ever be that easy.

"_Baa-chan!"_

Crap.

Drawing in a soundless breath, Tsunade plastered her best smile on and turned to Kahei who seemed quite confused as to who the _idiot_ charging up to her was referring to. "Excuse me a moment."

She was hoping to do damage control, maybe draw Naruto off to the side and get him to shut up in _private_; but then, he had been practically the only one in the village to somehow miss the news of the important visit.

No such luck.

Before she could even disentangle herself from the diplomat's arm, Naruto had rushed up to her and was babbling on and on about how Ero-sennin was off peeking at the springs _again_, and he really didn't want to be responsible for being called a pervert when he went to go tell the man something and he just _happened_ to slip off the tree branch and fall into the baths, it really _wasn't_ his fault! And so no matter what she heard, it was all untrue! And of course he did this with many liberal droppings of that epithet she had forever tried to erase from his vocabulary, to no avail.

That is, until he finally trailed off in the middle of his high speed ramblings and saw their intertwined arms. "Eh, baa-chan, who's the old guy?"

Even as Tsunade screwed her features up in a wince and balled up her free fist, desperately trying _not_ to deck the boy in front of her who seemed so desperate to ruin any chance their village had, she heard Kahei's offended gasp. Oh, nothing good could come of this. "I beg your pardon?"

Naruto ignored the man. When Tsunade didn't answer him right away, too busy trying to find her voice within her desperate desire to _strangle_ the boy, he continued "I mean, it's not like you got another husband, right? What would Ero-sennin say?" She _knew_ she shouldn't have told him about that drunken shotgun wedding that lasted a day…

"Another husband?" The man seemed practically scandalized. Oh god, it was time to go on damage control before the situation spun completely out of her hands.

"Excuse him, he thought my previous boyfriend was actually my husband," Tsunade managed to speak through her teeth to Kahei, pasting what she hoped was a sincere and understanding smile on her face. Then she disentangled her arm from his and turning to Naruto asked sweetly, "Naruto? May I introduce you to Diplomat Kahei, one of the advisors of the Daimyou?" _Please_ let him get the message.

"Him? The old guy?" No, apparently he was a bit too dense to censor his language.

"No, Naruto." She could feel the man stiffening in outrage until she was sure she could hit him and he wouldn't bend. "This man has come to view our village. I know we will all be _very_ kind to him."

"Oh…" he drew the word out, raking his eyes over Kahei. And before he could get another sentence strung together, Tsunade had taken Kahei's arm and was walking swiftly in the direction of the Hokage Tower, determined to put as much distance as possible between them and the blond bringer of destruction as she could.

"I don't think much of your son," Kahei commented stiffly when they were a suitable distance from Naruto.

"I do apologize for Naruto, he was hit once too many times in training," Tsunade injected her tone with as much sincerity as she could. "And thank you for the compliment, but he is not my son." Thank god. He wouldn't have survived his preteen years if he was.

Kahei quirked an eyebrow at that, but as manners dictated remained silent on the topic. "Regardless, it does not show an awareness of propriety to simply march up to those in conversation unannounced, let alone," he made a grimace of distaste," at such volume. We who are raised to possess manners and dignity know that and much more. This does not refer to you, of course." Yeah, not that he was insulting her or her village at _all._ Damn Naruto and his big mouth, she knew she should have sent him out on a long mission!

Well, they were almost to the Tower and home free, where hopefully she could just smooth everything over…

"Yeah see I told you! She's with this really rich guy, I bet she's trying to get enough money to pay off all those IOUs."

No. No no no. No no no…Tsunade was all for continuing on as though she hadn't heard that statement, but Kahei had stopped right in his tracks. _Crap_.

He turned and she had to turn with him, just in time to see Sakura turn as white as her own face must have been and clap a hand over Naruto's mouth. "Idiot! Have a little bit of decorum!" the pinkette hissed, staring wide-eyed at the diplomat who she knew was there to bring coffers of money into village and who had the Daimyou's ear.

Maybe, just maybe, her trusty apprentice could do enough damage control and get him away…

Then she heard Sai speak up as well, and knew it could only get worse from there. "Well he must be much better than you in bed to have that much money."

Tsunade actually heard a _squeak_ be emitted from Kahei's throat in sheer disbelief and insult. She was pretty sure that if she could make a sound, it would be something much more violent.

"You take that back, dirt bag!"

"It's not my fault you can't accept the truth."

As usual Naruto threw the first punch, hitting Sai square in the jawbone in plain view of the man who was to see that in Konoha, all was calm, orderly, polite, peaceful…she ran out of adjectives to describe the ideal image that was clearly shattering around her.

Sakura hit him for his stupidity, and a brawl was born.

Tsunade couldn't even move from her spot, rooted to the street in front of the Hokage Tower in pure incredulity as Team Seven 2.0 descended into a whirlwind consisting of fists and insults that crashed along the street, into the first row of carts. Merchants curses rang out into the air, all semblances of 'polite' and 'refined' forgotten in the face of their property being destroyed, and the chaos spread from there. In less than five minutes Konoha sounded normal again, the yelling and sounds of breaking wood extending all the way to the walls.

She couldn't do more than wince at the sound of an explosion and the resultant column of smoke in the distance.

Mouth open, she turned to Kahei weakly, but he beat her to the punch. With a stunned look that conveyed all of his horror at the _mess_ and _vulgarity_ he snapped his fingers and immediately his escorts, who had hung back the entire time an exact ten steps behind, surrounded him and moved towards the exit of the village, making sure to skirt the majority of the mess.

All Tsunade could do was stare at his back and watch all that easy money walk away, courtesy of one loud mouthed blond.


	349. From the Shadows

This was born of my annoyance at how so many people portray Sakura's mother as an annoying civilian who hates Naruto with a passion. I always refer to her as 'she', so it may get a little confusing, but...^^;

* * *

From the Shadows

She was a mother, but that wasn't all she was. Unlike so many of the other women she had grown up with, she hadn't felt that burning desire to become a kunoichi. But neither had she felt the need to be defenseless to whatever fate threw at her. She had older sisters that she had pestered into teaching her techniques – how to hide herself, how to transport herself out of danger, how to throw projectiles so she could hit a target nine times out of ten, how to heal basic injuries. But those abilities weren't something she used to rule her life; rather, they were a last resort.

Her ability to heal had come in very handy as a mother to a young child who seemed determined to fall off everything imaginable and trip over the smallest bump, coming home more often with skinned knees and palms than not. When she could appease his crying when he fell off the bed and hit his head, slammed his nose into the wall, jammed his fingers in the door. And when she had watched other mothers trying to console their children who cried over a small cut on their hand, she had never been more thankful she had insisted on learning. It had even been worth all the blackmail.

She didn't find that ability quite as useful nearly ten years later when her daughter was born, and her genin son was in the wrong place at the wrong time when the wall fell during the Kyuubi attack. No matter what rudimentary healing skills she had, there was nothing she could do to bring back his soul into a body with punctured lungs and a broken neck.

She couldn't put her own hand on her heart and heal the tearing pain there.

Her daughter provided a balm, of sorts, and she could lose herself in the care and raising of her second – and now only – child, which she took to with a ferocity born of a desire to forget. Not to forget her son, but rather to forget the pain his absence caused.

But just as she hadn't conformed to the stereotypes within her family when she was younger, neither did she conform to the silent expectations of all adults to spit upon, look down upon, and harm a defenseless child who, in her opinion, had done absolutely nothing wrong. It wasn't his fault her son was dead.

She had never known Kushina personally, but that didn't keep her from noticing the woman's features immediately in Konoha's demon orphan. Oh, there were many orphans after the Kyuubi's attack, and her heart ached for each and every one of them, but none of the children was drawn to the attention of the villagers so much as Uzumaki Naruto was. _Demon child. Monster. Spawn._ Those were only a few of the epithets used by the boy's tormenters to describe him, and she wondered how they could be so blind. They lauded the accomplishments of Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina, but it seemed none of the idiots that she considered a plague upon her village could rub two brain cells together and see that Naruto was not the reincarnation of the Kyuubi, but rather the son their heroes.

But just as she hadn't wished to be at the forefront of the battle when she was a child, neither did she step forwards and challenge each and every one of those irrational civilians. No, instead she took a lesson from her child self and remained in the background, unnoticed and unobserved, neither putting herself forward nor being completely passive. Instead of starting battles she couldn't win, instead she worked on negating their influence, speaking to the Hokage and ensuring the boy had a place to retreat to where he could be safe, that he had an ANBU guard at all times to deter most of the attempts to harm him, that he had a decent stash of money from which to buy food and other necessities.

She didn't like seeing a four year old wandering around on the streets by himself with no caretakers, and cringed at the very thought of her daughter being in just such a position – a thought that made her treat the girl all the more sweetly, never raising her voice and always showing her love. Never once did her daughter doubt in her kindness and willingness to open her arms to anything from a stray kitten found in a trash can to the occasional genin – once classmates of her son – who ended up at her house, knowing from experience that she would heal minor wounds without the hassle of a hospital.

So when Sakura brought home the little boy the first time, bleeding from a cut on his cheek, eye swollen shut, and with a broken arm, she wasn't surprised.

"Kaa-san, can you heal him?" the girl asked sweetly, and her heart melted at the sight of her daughter holding Naruto's uninjured arm protectively with her own small hand. She had always taught Sakura not to judge a person by other people's actions, and here was the proof she was doing something right.

She didn't miss the way the boy seemed tense and ready to bolt at any moment, as skittish as a deer, so when she reached out her hands she did so slowly, talking in a calm voice just as she did with Sakura's kitten who now resided happily above the stove. "I'm not going to hurt you, Naruto-kun, I just want to see your arm." He seemed wary of her still, but started at hearing his actual name coming from an adult.

"See I told you kaa-san would help," Sakura smiled at him, oblivious to her new friend's desire to run in the opposite direction. "She can heal anything, onetime I tripped on a rock and broke my hand and she made it all better!" As the girl continued to talk on, saying more to the boy in a few minutes than she had ever heard the child speak to anyone her own age in her life, she placed glowing green hands on Naruto's face and arm and concentrated.

She felt him flinch away then relax as his pain slowly receded when she knit the bones and flesh together, and when she withdrew her hands he stared at her with those bright blue eyes, so like those of the late Hokage, in shock. She was probably one of very few adults who had ever shown him a form of kindness after all.

It was a lifetime of helping from the shadows that had her healing the boy, but it was pure motherly caring – something she knew Naruto had never known – that had her holding a hand out to both children and asking, "Would you like some snacks? I just made a batch of cookies."


	350. Acceptance

Mmm, this one feels a little jumbled for the idea I wanted to get across with it, I may do one or two more to kind of 'explain' it later. When I can get my thoughts in order.

In other news, we're slowly regressing backwards in posting times! I'm _adjusting_ to USA time again! This is good ^^

* * *

Acceptance

Naruto closed his eyes before stepping into his apartment and shutting the door behind him, taking that one extra moment to brace himself for the damage he had long since come to accept as a part of life. He hadn't had the will last night, or the time in the morning, to clean up after the most recent incident. All the proof of the attack upon his body was already gone, healed up by Kyuubi's regenerative powers – powers that were both a blessing and a curse.

It was great that the evidence was never visible to anyone else, but somehow he suspected if his injuries lasted just a bit longer he would have more of a break before his tormentors decided to come back again.

The attacks had been going on for so long, he considered the events normal and could probably even chart them on a calendar – yet he never tried to avoid them. Long ago as a child he had tried to run, had tried to hide, had tried to scream, had tried to fight.

It only made things worse, and he had learned to stop resisting.

He had never done anything to deserve the attacks and as a child had cried himself to sleep so many nights, wondering why they hated him. Now he knew the reason, but that changed nothing. And he couldn't blame the civilians, really; they too suffered emotional pain, and he was the outlet. So he took it upon himself to help them by shouldering their burdens, even at the cost of himself.

In all honesty he wasn't sure which hurt the most though – the attacks that after so long seemed to be a pounding upon a cement wall he had erected around his soul, an unceasing batter of hatred and disgust at his very being, or the complete ignorance everyone around him seemed to possess.

Every time the second thought came up, he dismissed it from his mind immediately. He didn't want them to know, didn't want to be a burden upon their thoughts. After all, friends didn't push their troubles upon others – no, they helped everyone around them. His troubles were his own to deal with, and nobody else's.

The only person who ever came somewhat close to finding out back then that anything was wrong was Iruka-sensei, and the chuunin had long since learned to stop asking directly after Naruto deflected him with cheesy smiles and innocent blue eyes.

Deception was the name of the game.

Now the blond was pretty sure Iruka at least knew about the consistent break-ins, maybe the somewhat current beatings, but by tacit agreement his old teacher never told the Hokage or anyone else, and never tried to interfere. For that Naruto was grateful.

With a sigh, Naruto opened his eyes and got to work cleaning up the torn curtains from when the villagers had pinned him near the wall, slashing, the splinters upon the ground from where they had broken his lock – again – and slammed the door into the neighboring wall, the cheap lamp he had bought at a discount store because he knew it wouldn't last long. He didn't keep anything he truly valued in his apartment after all, except for his Team Seven picture. That, at least, they never touched.

It took a bit of doing to get the blood drops off the floor, scrubbing on his hands and knees at the now brown stains. The remainder of the curtains and his last night's set of clothes, as well as the sheets they had decided to use to restrain him this time – despite the fact he never fought back – were easy enough to bundle into one big ball to take down to the laundry later.

Within two hours it was all cleaned up and his apartment was left looking as bare and spotless as before, a testament to how often he had cleaned up and made it seem as though the event had never happened. And to all intents and purposes it never had – except in his head.

Sakura had never noticed when he came to the bridge masking his limp from an attack, when he didn't answer right away when she asked him something. On the rare occasions she did notice something was wrong, he deflected her with a cheesy smile and a hand rubbing the back of his head, then she'd write him off and go back to talking about Sasuke or something else. After the Uchiha had disappeared, she had been too wrapped up in her own world, and that had suited him just fine.

Kakashi had never noticed, too engrossed in his book and training Sasuke, handing Naruto around like a toy. It irked the blond that he could never seem to get his sensei's attention, but it also meant the jounin never noticed those few times Naruto would completely disappear for a few days at a time, needing solitude to calm his mind and regain his equilibrium after a particularly bad attack. Besides, he knew for a fact the jounin had his own demons to fight, and the blond wasn't about to add to the list.

Jiraiya had never noticed because Naruto never gave him the opportunity to find out. The little time Jiraiya had spent training him in Konoha wasn't long enough for the blond to let anything slip with all the practice he had at covering up over the years, and then the toad sage had never been in Konoha for more than a few days after they brought Tsunade back.

Sarutobi might have noticed, because he asked Naruto piercing questions about his days and what he ate and how it was living on his own, but the old man never did anything about it. Naruto never approached him for help.

Tsunade…Naruto was sure Tsunade knew at least the generalities, but out of all of them he also knew she was the one who understood the _why_ the most. Why he wouldn't tell anyone what went on, why he wouldn't seek help. When he stepped into her office for a mission or just to talk, grinning broadly and talking loudly as he did to cover up his thoughts, he would see a flash of helplessness in her eyes, one that she kept well hidden except for when she thought he wasn't looking.

The inability to help him, because even if she stopped the villagers, she couldn't undo the rest of it. He could tell she hated seeing him hurt – signs only a medical shinobi would notice left over from wounds mostly healed – but when he wouldn't tell her that she could interfere, she stepped back and respected his decision. Even if it hurt her in return.

When he faced the next group of villages a few nights after the most recent attack, Naruto kept his hands at his sides as they hit at his body, dodging the worst of the blows and keeping his face blank so they wouldn't gain any more than their own relief to emotional pain from the event.

But he could swear when they finally left his apartment after half an hour, that he heard a faint scream and a woman's low curses.


	351. Resignation

This is an elaboration on the previous drabble that hopefully brings more of it to sense if it didn't make any - it's more what I was trying to express the first time around, but I think both were needed for the full idea.

* * *

Resignation

If he had any sense of self preservation, Naruto thought idly, he wouldn't be walking along a little traveled alleyway all by himself. But then again, to his mind, it was a much better place to be ambushed than in his apartment where he'd have to clean up the mess later. If he made himself available, then they didn't bother to seek him out.

Earlier that day had been exhausting physically and mentally, and he was glad of it. With his mind fully absorbed with something else – in this case a low-ranked C mission that had them back in Konoha by the early evening – _just in time_, his mouth twisted into a grimace, he didn't have to think about how his friend and rival had abandoned them like trash left too long on the doorstep. For _power_.

He put on a smile and promised Sakura that he would do his best to bring their teammate back, but he could tell from the sideways glances Kakashi shot him when the jounin thought he wasn't paying attention that their sensei doubted Sasuke would ever come back. And despite every effort to the contrary, Naruto thought the same.

Maybe that was why he let the villagers attack him still – why he didn't fight back. In a way, it was punishment for his failure to keep a promise he had made to another. It was alright to break promises to himself – he did so every day when he swore he wouldn't let their glares and insults get to him – but one to someone else was sacred. What was the point of being their friend if you couldn't even do something for them?

Sakura was too caught up in her own grief over losing Sasuke to notice any change in his own demeanor, or any injuries he may come to the bridge with that even Kyuubi couldn't heal in a night. After all, that was where long sleeves and pants came in handy, hiding injuries. They had gotten worse since Sasuke left as the villagers blamed him for that too, and he stopped dodging their hits quite as much; in his own mind, he deserved it as well.

The blond let out a sigh and shifted his stance slightly as he heard the first noises of the group as they came down the alley. _It was almost like a date_. He snorted at the thought.

"Hey, demon, what're you laughing at?" one of the men demanded, sending a glare that would strip paint from walls at the boy. "There ain't nothin' funny here!"

Naruto didn't respond, and one of the other men let out a laugh of his own. "Seems he's scared mute! You wanna _be _a mute?"

Naruto shook his head, never taking his eyes off the men as he backed up slowly. Some nights were more dangerous than others, and this seemed to be one of them. No matter his acceptance of the situation he wasn't a masochist, and at the end of the night he still wanted to be able to travel home with as few injuries on his person as he could get away with without them following him.

A third man appeared from behind the other two, tossing a lead pipe he had picked up from the side of the alley from hand to hand like a brawler. _Crap_. As a shinobi, he had made it a self-appointed rule to never, _ever_, harm a civilian. But they made it damned hard sometimes.

When they rushed him, he ducked the first couple punches but had to take a knee to the gut, and then that pipe came crashing down across his back. He rolled with it, coming up on his knees with his arms crossed in a defensive block against the kick someone had aimed at his face, but had to twist before the first man punched his ear. He supposed he should consider himself lucky they didn't have a knife this time…his eyes caught a glint of light off a metal edge. Maybe not so lucky.

They only brought a knife when they were out for blood, and that was when Naruto knew he was in trouble. He couldn't draw a weapon to deflect, and he couldn't break the man's arm to make him drop the knife. He'd have to take a hit and make it seem bad enough they would leave him alone; it was always a dangerous game to play. But in the game known as survival, it was the better option.

When the knife was slashed towards him, Naruto rolled with the strike again and felt it open a line of pain along his bicep. No muscle damage, just a flesh wound that would bleed. He let the next punch take him in the eye, and the pipe across his stomach, stealing all of his air. Then he lay on the ground, rolling enough that he could see the knife with his non-swelling eye and keep track of it in case it wasn't enough to satisfy them. But it seemed they hadn't drunk quite enough to want to murder. Besides, if they killed him, they wouldn't have a punching bag later and then people would actually know and find them, something they didn't want to risk. All to his benefit.

So the three just spat on him and stumbled off down the alley, leaving Naruto on the grungy cobblestones. He waited a few minutes before getting up, taking inventory of his wounds. Long cut on his arm, bruised abdomen, black eye, maybe a fractured rib from the pipe. All in all, nothing he couldn't recover from in under a week. He might have to make up an excuse about walking into the door again, but nobody ever bothered to question him when he said it with a cheesy smile on his face.

* * *

Tsunade had to suppress the immediate fury she felt when Naruto walked into her office with that ever-happy grin of his pasted on his face, blue eyes large in his too-pale face – just like the rest of his team's, when none of them had been getting a decent sleep since Sasuke left. But what stood out glaringly on the blond was a ring of deep purple around his eye that was swollen half shut, and had to be painful. She didn't miss the way he didn't quite draw in a full breath either, her trained medic's eyes taking in every irregularity in his normal movements. When he raised his arms to cross them behind his head, she saw the involuntary flinch and catch in his right arm that hinted at a wound up near his shoulder.

Kakashi always had his nose buried in that damned book, and for all the perceptiveness he was known for, he didn't ever seem to notice his student's injuries. Personally, Tsunade thought he had just retreated even further inside himself after Sasuke left, another reminder of his failure to protect his other Uchiha teammate. Sakura was just oblivious, too wrapped up in her own personal pain to even think about looking for Naruto's.

He might have them fooled, taking advantage of their distraction to hide the wounds he got every so often, but she knew better. From the first time after he had brought her back that he came in with a bruise flowering across his cheek and passed it off as falling off his bed in his sleep, she had been suspicious. Two more incidents had her shadowing the boy during the evenings, and that was the first time since she had come back that she saw the dark side of the village she knew existed. It had taken all her willpower not to intervene, but as she watched Naruto not fight back, and the defeated slump of his shoulders after they were done, she knew that wouldn't solve anything.

One lone woman intervening, no matter her power, wouldn't change the minds of the many. And in the end, it would only make the attacks worse.

She also knew she could never confront Naruto about it. Somewhere inside, he was shamed by the attacks. To be told that someone knew about them, that someone had _seen_ them, would probably open yet another wound on his soul and she couldn't do that to the gaki who had healed her own.

He probably knew that she had some knowledge of the attacks – she couldn't completely hide how helpless to fix the situation she felt every time she saw him – but it was a completely different matter to be _told_ than to _know_. She had been a doctor long enough to recognize that.

That didn't mean she couldn't exact her own revenge on the ones who chose to attack him later, though. Everyone needed someone fighting for them, somehow.


	352. Kinsmen

I didn't expect this to turn out as long as it did - and I haven't even gotten to what could be termed I suppose the last two thirds. I'm making a mix-and-match of an idea Star Josherson sent me as well as one I came up with as well, which is probably contributing to it's length. So there will be at least one, maybe two more chapters after this one on this topic.

* * *

Kinsmen

Keichi didn't draw a breath in awe when he saw the magnificent gates of Konoha, nor the great monument faces carved into the cliffside above the village. He nodded politely to the two chuunin – he could tell by the strength of their chakra and the signature jackets they wore – at the front gate and signed a piece of paper stating his name, purpose, and estimated time of visitation, presented the chakra stamped piece of paper that showed he had permission to be traveling in the Land of Fire and that he hailed from the Land of Waves, and placed his thumbprint in blood at the bottom of the page. He wasn't fazed by the amount of people in Konoha's streets, nor by the impressive Hokage Tower with its large kanji stating 'Fire'.

He had seen and lived in grander.

As a middle aged man he wasn't unknown to the ways of the world, and especially not when it came to the politics required to run a village. But he was hoping a few hints dropped here and there might grease the wheels, as the right information was wont to do. So when he stepped into the Hokage Tower, showing his pass to the ANBU on duty who immediately looked him over due to his lack of a Konoha hitai-ate, he went over to the desk and told the secretary waiting down there "Uzumaki Keichi to see the Hokage."

"Do you have an appointment?" The question came out as rote and she didn't even look up from the schedule she was currently penning something in on.

"No."

"Then I'll have to ask you to wait until there's an opening in her schedule. This may not be today. Do you understand?"

"Hai."

"May I take your name?"

He was used to the give and take of information with secretaries by now, and gave his name again at the end of a silent sigh. "Uzumaki Keichi."

The woman began to scribble it down on a notepad, then paused and her head snapped up to stare at him. "Uzumaki?"

He arched an eyebrow at the much younger woman – she couldn't be too experienced as a secretary if she let something as simple as a name faze her. "Hai."

For a moment her brown eyes seemed fixated on his hair, as though checking for something special about it, before she finished writing down his name and gave him that traditional secretary I-know-you'll-be-hanging-around-here-for-a-while-and-it's-my-job-to-be-nice-to-everyone smile. "If you could just have a seat over there," she gestured to a row of somewhat comfortable looking chairs lined up against the wall, "I'll see what I can do to get you in to see her. If I may enquire as to the purpose of your visit?"

"Personal," he grunted, then made his way over to his perch for the next few hours if he was right.

Apparently he had underestimated the power of his name in Konoha. Within an hour a medium tall raven lady had rushed in the doorway, arms filled with scrolls that threatened to tumble out of her hold, who the secretary beckoned over frantically. A whispered conversation took place, with much gesturing to a piece of paper on the behalf of the secretary and a few not-so-hidden glances in his direction. Again with the looking at his hair, as well.

Whatever decision they came to, the raven woman headed up the stairs with her load of scrolls, and Keichi sat back to enjoy his wait as much as he could – it wasn't as though he had all that much time to relax back home, so he might as well make all possible use of the free time. Taking out his ever present pad of paper and an ink pen, he began to scribble out a design that had been pushing at his temples for a few days now; it seemed like gibberish to the casual observer, but to someone who had been trained…

"Uzumaki Keichi?"

He hadn't noticed the raven return, let alone that she stood in front of him with a slightly awed look in her eyes. Putting his pen down for a moment, he gave her his full attention. "Hai?"

"If you could come with me, the Hokage will see you now."

Frowning, he cast a glance at the clock conveniently mounted on the wall; no, his internal time sense wasn't wrong, it really had only been an hour and a half. Well, if she had the time now, all the better to get the meeting over with. Then he could find out what he had come to, and leave. "Very well." Standing up, he slipped both paper and pen into a pocket on the front of his weather-worn jacket and bowed slightly. "Please, lead on."

With one more askance glance at his hair – honestly, red couldn't be _that_ rare in Konoha, could it? – she turned on her heel and headed for the stairs with him following. It wasn't a very long walk to reach the Hokage's office, just a flight of stairs and a hallway that led to a pair of wooden double doors. The raven knocked on them quickly for a second, and a "Come in" sounded from inside. She pushed open one leaf and gestured for him to step in, then followed. "Uzumaki Keichi to see you, Tsunade-sama."

His first impression of the Konoha Hokage was that she was a force to be reckoned with – he had long ago learned to discard any impressions based on body type, something one of his cousins back in Wave would be dismayed to know, the pervert – and his second was that she was could probably pack a killer punch. Only after did he recognize that she had long blonde hair and eyes that promised no beating around the bush, visible over steepled red nails.

She didn't start off with the customary "Can I help you?" either. No, her first statement was "You aren't blond." Granted, that took him a little off-balance for the topic he intended to discuss. Then she continued, "Well, seeing as you aren't blond, it makes sense you're a redhead. Uzumaki, hm?"

"Yes, I am of the Uzumaki Clan." What was left of it. He decided that since she seemed to have no interest in the pleasantries, she wouldn't be offended if he got straight down to business. "And that is the business I come on. One of my kinsmen was sent to Konoha right before the Second War, and I would like to find out what I can about her."

Those piercing amber eyes seemed to see right through him. "Uzumaki Kushina, correct?"

"Hai." He spread his legs a little to make his stance a bit more comfortable and clasped both hands behind his back. "I understand much will be considered confidential to the village, but I would like to know what I may."

Tsunade seemed pensive for a moment, one finger tapping at her lips before she leaned back in her chair. "I knew Uzumaki Kushina. But first, I would like to hear what you knew of her."

Keichi raised an eyebrow of his own at that point. He hadn't expected to be told to relive his memories. "What purpose would that serve?"

There was a slight gleam in the Hokage's eyes. "How well you knew her will determine what information you receive."

Well, he couldn't quite argue with that, so he sent his mind skimming back over the decades since his little cousin had been sent to Konoha and Ushiogakure's demise soon after.


	353. Uzushiogakure

Enter part two. This is in the past, just in case that point is confusing at first. I made up the relation of Mito to Kushina, because honestly we don't know, and we don't know exactly how/when Ushiogakure fell except that it was during the Second Shinobi War. So hence what I came up with! ^^

* * *

Uzushiogakure

"Keichi-nii-san!"

Keichi turned at the sound of his younger cousin's voice; at age four, Kushina was already aware of both her place in the Uzumaki Clan as well as a general control over her chakra. There was talk about her possession of some of the special traits that seemed to appear in maybe one clansman each generation, a special form of chakra that was able to be manifested into chains. Even the Uzumaki, as skilled as they were, couldn't figure out why its appearance was so rare. The last known person to possess that trait was Kushina's paternal great-aunt, Uzumaki Mito, and she had gone to Konoha to marry the head of the Senju – which only further cemented the allegiance between the two clans.

"Keichi-nii-san!" The redheaded bullet crashed into the preteen's legs, nearly knocking him backwards, and latched on with all the strength in her small hands. Out of all of her cousins, Keichi was the one she spent most of her time with and was her equivalent of a brother, that is when…

"Kushina-chan, did you sneak out of your sealing lesson again?" The suddenly innocent expression on the face of one of the worse child pranksters of the Uzumaki Clan told the story perfectly. "'Shina-chan, you know those are important," the equally redheaded boy chided his younger cousin gently. Reaching down, he disentangled her arms from around his legs and lifted her up so she rested against his hip. "They're the legacy of our clan, and the knowledge is very important."

Kushina widened her blue eyes and pushed out her bottom lip – an expression she had mastered by the time she was two. "But nii-san, they're _boring_." Her face screwed up in a pantomime of her uncle – Keichi's father. "'Each brush stroke must be delicate and perfect', 'You must not rush, sealing is an exact art', 'See the image of the puzzle and dissect it as you would a flower'…"

Keichi suppressed a snort at his cousin's imitation. Her voice was almost dead on for his father, and it sounded quite hilarious coming out of a little girl's mouth, but it wouldn't do to encourage her. Shifting her up suddenly so she squealed at the unexpected motion, he tapped Kushina lightly on the nose. "I know it's boring, but you wouldn't be able to do half your pranks without knowing some sealing. Just imagine if you know some more of it, you can make even better pranks!"

From the sudden light in her eyes, he could tell Kushina hadn't thought of it that way. "Really?" The way she drew out the word suddenly had him worried, but he put on a smile. After all, she had never used those pranks against _him_.

"Really."

A sudden shiver ran down the spines of every other member of the Uzumaki Clan.

* * *

"Keichi-nii-san!"

Just like two years earlier, Keichi turned at the sound of that voice as its owner crashed into his legs, the only difference being that the fists clenched into his pants a bit higher and the head was buried in his stomach. "Kushina-chan!"

"Nii-san, I don't want to go!" When she pulled her head out of his shirt, he could see the tear tracks running down her face. For the past two months Kushina had known about being taken to Konoha to live there – for reasons that hadn't been explained even to her – but it was only now on the day of departure that she seemed scared of leaving.

"But Kushina-chan, you'll get to see Mito-obaa-sama," who neither of them had met, "and just think, the people there won't know anything about any of your pranks! They won't suspect a thing." He felt kind of bad, throwing the population of Konoha to the wolves like that, but hey, anything to cheer his surrogate sister up was fair game.

Sure enough she perked up slightly, but the tears kept pouring from her eyes and she used his shirt to wipe them away. "But…"

"Kushina-san!" One of the men who was supposed to guard her came running up – obviously she had escaped the final preparations. "We really must be going soon, and your parents would like to say goodbye!" Looking at the man, Keichi could see the tension buried in his eyes; as a chuunin, the boy knew exactly what the guard was worried about and why he wanted to get Kushina out of the village as soon as possible, but that didn't keep him from clinging to his cousin for a moment longer.

"Promise me you'll write, yeah?" he asked, placing both hands on Kushina's smaller shoulders and pulling her away from him for a second. "You know those messenger birds are the best in the business, and I'm sure Mito-obaa-sama will help you mail a few."

The little girl nodded, sniffing fiercely and wiped at her nose with her sleeve. "I promise." The words were slightly muffled as she buried her face again in Keichi's shirt, but he refused to let her stay there.

"You have to go now, Kushina. Remember, they don't know what's coming!"

As she was led away, the guard's hand on her back as much to guide her as to make sure she didn't run again, Kushina sent a purely evil smile back over her shoulder.

In Konoha, the population felt a sudden feeling of dread.

* * *

It had been a few years since his young cousin left, but during that time the events the Uzumaki Clan – and all of Uzushiogakure – had feared finally came to a head. The other shinobi villages had always been wary of them for their extensive and powerful sealing techniques, and the possibility they might be turned against any of the five great powerhouses. Despite all of the suspicion, Uzushiogakure tried to keep its head down, but it seemed that wasn't possible anymore. A second great shinobi war had broken out, and each of the villages save Konoha had decided Uzushiogakure was too powerful to leave alone.

Keichi had been at the meeting held by all the shinobi of his small village, composed mostly of the Uzumaki Clan, when they decided on a plan of action. Rather than trying to fight the overwhelming force brought to bear against them, what remained of the village after the various skirmishes leading up to the full war had decided to disband and scatter, in the hopes that the villages would leave them alone finally.

He looked around what people remained of their forces – only thirty or so shinobi, genin included, and twenty-seven 'civilians' who also knew various sealing techniques. In Uzushiogakure, nobody was defenseless if they wanted to survive. The purpose of the meeting they were attending today was who would go where, so as not to have too great a concentration of their people anywhere to draw undue attention. As each country was called out, various members of his family both young and old, veteran jounin and fresh genin, raised their hands on where they would prefer to be.

When the country of Waves was called, Keichi raised his own hand, noting that his father and second cousin with his family of two young children also raised their hands. Their names were marked down, and the call went on as Keichi relaxed. That was the group he would be traveling with.

It was only two days before the whole village began to head out. First those who were moving furthest away left, taking sufficient rations with them to last at least a week, and slowly others left as well until it was just Keichi and his traveling companions; they had the shortest distance to travel and were also the smallest group so as not to attract any attention. They made sure the treasured scrolls and knowledge – those which hadn't been deemed as too dangerous to fall into others' hands by accident and were destroyed – were hidden well and under blood seals tied to the Uzumaki lineage. No matter what the other villages tried, they would never find those secrets. Just in case it ever became safe for an Uzumaki to travel back to the abandoned village, so their legend would not be truly lost to time.

Only a few hours after they had left the village for good, leaving behind an empty husk that Keichi couldn't bring himself to call his home, his father called a halt. The teenager was confused for a moment before the man made a gesture for silence and gestured back the way they had come, where the village was still in sight. Keichi looked in that direction just in time to see the first jutsu hit the tallest tower, and send it crashing to the ground. Before he could see the next attack, he closed his eyes and turned away.

The final destruction of Uzushiogakure had begun.


	354. Fables

This was a bit strange to get out, I hope it flows well. Also I realized I had used obaa-sama in the last chapter to stand in for great-aunt, which it doesn't mean...but I also couldn't find what the term for that was. So I made a plausible explanation here I hope...*fingerscrossed*

* * *

Fables

"So you knew her quite well then," Tsunade commented, having leaned back in her chair and interlocked her fingers while Keichi recounted a condensed version of the past. Her voice was pensive as her eyes roamed over the ceiling, trying to sort out which pieces of information she could disclose and which were considered village secrets.

Keichi cocked a sardonic eyebrow at the Hokage, leaning back in his own chair that he had taken partway through his story. "You could say that. She was only my surrogate sister at all."

"Yes," Tsunade's mouth twisted with amusement at his words. "Well, you asked for what you could know about her life here, so I shall tell you what I can. Kushina came here at age six as you said, and was immediately put into the Academy to be taught about Konoha's history and techniques. I've been told when being asked what her goal was for introduction, she declared at the top of her voice she wished to become the next Hokage."

Keichi couldn't suppress the solitary laugh that burst out of his chest at hearing that. "She always was a bit precocious."

"Indeed," Tsunade smirked. "Needless to say, that statement made her some enemies by the end of her first week, and she acquired the nickname of Tomato." Most of her information had come from Kushina herself at a later date, but Nawaki had seen some of Kushina's feats at the Academy during his time there. "By the end of the second week, she had beaten those…" she paused for the proper word, "…perpetrators, into a heap. That was where she got her second nickname – the Bloody Habanero."

This time the redhead didn't even bother trying to muffle the guffaw. "That was _her?_ I'd heard descriptions about a woman nobody wanted to get mad lest they lose their lives or worse, but I never made the connection to my _sweet_ cousin."

"Sweet? That girl terrorized the village with her pranks. Before or since, nobody had seen the level of skill with which she wielded seals to trap her victims." A suddenly vicious smile came over Tsunade's face. "The Uchiha were her favorite targets."

"I must take responsibility for part of that." Keichi seemed anything but repentant though. "I did tell her you would be 'unsuspecting sheep'. She came by her pranking gene honestly, though. You should have heard some of the stories father would tell about Mito-obaa-sama…"

That had the Hokage raising an eyebrow in surprise. "Oh? Do share. I would love to know some more about my own fabled grandmother. As well as why you call her that as well when I know she was your great-aunt."

"You didn't know? Mito-obaa-sama was famous for her pranks on the elders and adults whenever they tried to control her. I'm told once she bleached everyone's hair so it turned pink for a year because they had tried to make her marry someone from a foreign village. Then six months later she married Senju Hashirama of her own will."

"That would explain… they must have done something seriously bad." Tsunade rubbed her hand across her mouth to try to wipe out the smile that lurked there. "Here obaa-sama was known for her level head and logic. At least in her later years…and as for why you call her grandmother?"

Keichi shrugged. "Well that's what she was seen as by the time I was growing up, especially since her own sister had died pretty early on. I'd heard tou-san was raised by her when he was a babe, right before obaa-sama left for Konoha. So it kind of just got passed down. What did you mean, 'they must have done something bad'?"

"Oh, just a bit of village gossip…" Tsunade waved her hand to dismiss the matter, then turned her head to look out the window as though expecting something. Now that he thought about it, Keichi realized it was the fifth time she had done so. "Back to Kushina. I was around the village for a bit when she was a chuunin, and she was deadly. She combined her ninjutsu with some kenjutsu and seal work for a vicious style that nobody could replicate. Factor in her pranking style with anyone who annoyed her and you had someone even Sarutobi-sensei was afraid to piss off. That didn't keep her from finding a suitor though…"

At that moment, Shizune burst through the door panting for breath, and Keichi recognized her for the woman who had brought him up here in the first place. "He's coming Tsunade-sama! And Sakura-san is with him!"

"Sakura as well? Why is she…" Tsunade didn't have a chance to continue before Shizune was propelled out of the doorway by a blond bullet who shot into the room and immediately ducked behind Tsunade's chair, not noticing her visitor.

"Baa-chan! Save me! She's gone crazy, and I didn't do anything!"

A pink haired teenager spitting fire pounded in after him, a fist that was faintly glowing raised in preparation of a punch. "Naruto! How dare you even _think_ such a thing! When I'm through you won't be able to – "

"Sakura, that is quite enough," Tsunade commanded, standing from her chair and placing both hands firmly on the desk. "This is not how you comport yourself in front of a visitor to our village."

Immediately whatever tunnel vision had clouded Sakura's vision faded and she noticed Keichi sitting near the wall, a very amused expression on his face. "So this is what you meant," he commented lightly to Tsunade, who nodded with a half-smirk. "And who would that be, behind your chair?"

The half-smirk grew, and the Hokage reached behind and pulled out the blond by a fistful of orange jacket. "Oi, gaki, we have company see? Keichi-san, meet Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura."

Keichi's eyes widened in shock, then narrowed in speculation. "'Not blond', hm?" he murmured, fingertips coming together to steeple just under his chin. "Now I see. Tsunade-sama, is there a reason not to mention this particular development before?"

Releasing the squirming Naruto to sulk over to Sakura and attempt to explain the situation with Shizune making sure they didn't destroy the office, Tsunade gave a curt nod. "The information is not well-known, and no inferences have been made. Even by the subject."

"Hm." His eyes cut to the blond in the orange and black paneled coat, sporting the Uzushiogakure symbol on his back. A fitting symbol. "Will such facts ever be revealed?"

"When the time is right." With that finality, the conversation was ended. "I trust you found this visit helpful, Keichi-san?"

"Most enlightening." Keichi stood from his chair, bowing respectfully to the woman in front of him who had told him more without words than he had ever hoped to learn. "I wish you the best with all your endeavors, Tsunade-sama."

Skirting the two figures still arguing in the middle of the Hokage's office, Uzumaki Keichi followed Shizune out of the office and down the stairs back to the front of the building, lost in thought. _Kushina-chan, it seems you had quite the productive life even outside of our home village – if you had stayed, things would not have gone nearly so well for you. And maybe when the time comes, I can seek out your son and lead him back to Uzushiogakure…_


	355. Lineage

So freewolf17 wanted to see when Keichi (I'm REALLY liking him as an OC!) took Naruto to Uzushiogakure...so here goes. One more after this to cover it, then I'll lay it to rest ^^; Also, moving back to school tomorrow which means..._homework_. Ew.

* * *

Lineage

Tsunade massaged at her temples as she stared at the boy in front of her desk who was continually pestering to know what his mission was. "C'mon baa-chan, you could've told me already! It's gonna be kickass right? A B-rank? No, A-rank! I haven't had one in _forever_, and you promised I would – "

"Naruto!" Enough was enough, and the only reason silence fell wasn't from her shout, but rather from the rock she had thrown at his head. After a few experiments with paperweights and whatever happened to be laying on her desk at the time, Tsunade determined it was much less costly – and much easier to hide – throwing stones at the boy to make him shut up, and easier to stockpile. "Naruto," she repeated in a quieter tone, eyes still fixated on the blond who was clutching his cranium in pain. "I didn't call you here for a mission."

"But!" In his eyes was the wounded innocence of a child who didn't get their favorite sweet. "But you promised!"

"This isn't an _official_ mission," Tsunade changed her words quickly, knowing exactly how bad a pouting Naruto could be, even at seventeen years old. "This is a personal one, just for you, but I promised I wouldn't say any more until your guide appeared."

"Guide? I have a guide?" Immediately the sadness was gone from his blue eyes to be replaced with a hyper glee. "So I haven't been there! Has anyone else been there? Is it really secret? Did Ero-sennin know about it?"

"Mm, he probably knew about parts of it, but not where you're going. And I can't tell you anymore because Keichi-san isn't here yet. Naruto, do you remember the man I was meeting with a year ago, when you and Sakura so…rudely interrupted?"

"Eh?" The blond scratched at his head, eyes squinting closed and face turning up towards the ceiling as he tried to think. "Was that the time you gave us D-ranks for a month?"

"No."

"Tora for a week?"

"Good guess, but no."

Naruto thought a second more, then his eyes popped open. "Oh! That was the time you made us scrub the whole office by hand! You said something about 'proper conduct in front of long lost members'…"

"I knew you had a brain somewhere under that mass of hair," Tsunade remarked caustically, although her tone was light.

"Hey! What's so important about him anyways? He was just a redhead right?" Despite his constant forgetfulness, Naruto never ceased to amaze her with his retention of the smallest details even when he wasn't paying attention.

"Yes, the redhead. And I'll let him explain exactly why he's important." A knock on the door came perfectly timed. "That will be him right now. Come in!" The door opened to admit first Shizune, lugging another armful of scrolls for Tsunade to deal with that she drew a moue at, followed by a redhead who seemed slightly amused by the situation.

"Hokage-sama," Keichi bowed to the blonde who was glaring in distaste at the work that had invaded her room. When his voice interrupted her staring contest with the scrolls she looked up, all serious.

"Uzumaki Keichi, may I introduce you to Uzumaki Naruto. Naruto, this is your cousin."

She hadn't been able to think of a better way to drop the bombshell on him than to just say it straight out. After everything with the Kyuubi she knew Naruto was aware of exactly who his parents were and that his mother was Uzumaki Kushina and how she came to Konoha, but he had never been told there were other clan members still alive. For his part, Keichi seemed completely at ease leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed, looking levelly at the blond who had been reduced to an open mouthed statue. No doubt he was well-versed in how to deal with an Uzumaki temper and reaction.

"C-Cousin?" Naruto finally stuttered out. "How're you my cousin?"

"Well, first cousin once removed, technically," Keichi corrected cheerfully, not moving at all. "But what's a degree between two survivors of a clan?"

Behind his shocked face, Naruto's brain was racing and the first conclusion he came to was exclaimed. Loudly. "_You knew my mother!"_

Tsunade raised a surprised eyebrow. "That boy will never cease to amaze me; the first thing he got out of a statement of having a cousin was that he could find out more about his mother?" she muttered to herself, pulling out a bottle of sake to watch the show. Said bottle of sake was confiscated not five seconds later by her irritated assistant.

"You have work! And they have to go somewhere private to talk anyways," Shizune sent a brief glare at her mentor.

"Here is perfectly private!"

"_No_."

"Fine, fine," the Hokage grumbled, snapping her fingers to gain the males' attention. "You two, there's a room down the hall Shizune will show you to that's been soundproofed. You can talk logistics there, and be on your way by nightfall. The gate guards already know to let you out. Now scat before I decide you're more worth having than _paperwork_…And Naruto?" She waited until he looked at her, blue eyes still wide with astonishment and shock. "When you come back…remember you had more than one parent."

He didn't get to ask what she meant before Shizune shooed him out of the room, Keichi following with a bemused smile.

* * *

"So where were you?" Naruto asked eagerly the moment they were situated. "And what's my mission? Baa-chan wouldn't say. And you knew kaa-san?"

"Yes I knew your mother, she was my youngest cousin, I was in Wave – not far from the Great Naruto Bridge, coincidentally – and as for your mission…we are going to reveal a part of your heritage which has lain dormant and hidden for over thirty years. We are traveling to Uzushiogakure."

Naruto filed the first two pieces of information away for later questioning and focused on the last one, which included _movement_. "But everything we learned in the Academy said it was destroyed and so was every clan in it."

"The village itself was torn to rubble, but our clan took precautions for its heritage. Every clan has its own secrets it would die to keep, after all."

"No way, we have _secrets_?" Naruto couldn't have been more thrilled by the turn of events. He was finding out more about a family he had thought didn't exist for most of his life, and it was turning out to be _exciting_!

"I cannot tell you anymore here, but we leave now for Uzushiogakure. The mission will last a week, and at the end of it most if not all of your questions will be answered." Keichi pushed away from the wall he had been leaning against – it really was a comfortable pose – and quirked an eyebrow at the blond in front of him. "Care to lead the way out?"

"Hell yeah!"


	356. Heritage

Yes I'm really that mean and not revealing what they are. It would take a lot more space than is one chapter to do that, and with only...9 left (sadpanda!) I want to try to cover as much new material as I can. Four other chapter topics have already been determined, but that leaves five others if anyone really really wants to see something.

* * *

Heritage

Naruto didn't quite bounce – no, he was too mature for that – but he didn't quite walk either, it was more of a bouncing walk as he and Keichi made their way to the east and north where Uzushiogakure was located. It had already been two days and the redhead predicted they would arrive in the afternoon, leaving a day and another morning to explore the ruins and prepare for the trip back home with the knowledge.

The older Uzumaki had some kind of scroll he had shown to Naruto on the first night, covered in ink marks that looked more like gibberish and spider webs to Naruto than anything with meaning. By appearance he knew them to be seals, but that was the extent of his knowledge. "Did you get that off Ero-sennin?" After all, the toad sage was the only seal master Naruto knew, and it was possible his long lost relative had met up with the pervert at some point.

"Who?" Keichi had looked startled for a second, then relaxed as Naruto explained who he meant. "Ah, no. I made this myself."

"_Nani?_" Naruto had leaned forward so fast he nearly hit his head on the ground, nose almost touching the paper as he stared at the minute, intricate lines. "_You? _But Ero-sennin said there were maybe three seal masters in the _world_!"

The redhead had looked unfazed at the outburst, leaning back against a rock and tilting his head up at the darkening sky. "Perhaps three _known_ seal masters. Each member of the Uzumaki clan was trained in the mastery, and usually obtained it before the age of eight." His eyes had closed for a second, remembering a small redhead who had an exceptional grasp of the skill. "Some earlier."

"Eh? So you mean kaa-san was a seal master too?" Naruto's eyes couldn't have become any wider.

"I think before she left the village, Kushina was better than I."

That had stopped Naruto's talking and instead the teenager had lapsed into silent contemplation, rolling that bit of information over and over in his mind. Through the next day he had asked questions out of the blue, inquiring as to different aspects of his mother and the clan as a whole. Keichi answered as best he could, not withholding any information from someone who would probably be doing the same someday as well.

"Will you teach me seals?" The question broke the silence the two had been traveling in for hours, walking along a road that was surrounded by rocks and many streams. They were getting close.

"Ah…no," Keichi replied after a pause, not taking his eyes from the path in front of him.

"Why not? You said it was something each member of the clan learned, and kaa-san knew it…and tou-san and Ero-sennin…" the blond's voice trailed off, and Keichi pretended not to notice the surreptitious scrub of his sleeve across the area above his nose.

"I won't teach you sealing because it would take much longer than the time we're spending together. Instead," he held up his hand to cut off Naruto's interjection, "I will let our clan scrolls teach you."

That had the teenager shutting his mouth.

When the ruins of Uzushiogakure came into view over the top of a hill, Keichi forced himself to look at the stones which had once been his home. He hadn't warned the blond, not wanting to lessen the impact, so when Naruto stopped stock still it didn't surprise him. Neither did the sharp intake of breath, and he knew the blond was picturing his own home in such shambles. "Where do we go from here?"

"The village is another half an hour away on foot, and after that…it is better shown than spoken."

They made a silent procession, the redhead man in the lead picking his way between large bodies of water, some of which Naruto could see had whirlpools in the distance. They stopped in front of one of the largest lakes Naruto had ever seen, with the village right on the other side. "There is no end to it," Keichi answered the unasked question. "The line of whirlpools was our own defense against attack." His mouth twisted bitterly, remembering seeing the towers fall. "For as long as they could." He made five hand seals and held the last one, slow so Naruto could see them, and began walking out onto the water, balancing with ease over the swells. The blond followed, and watched in wonder as the whirlpool directly in front of the pair shrank into nothingness and leaving only calm water in its wake. The moment they stepped onto dry land on the other side of the water, the whirlpool reformed slowly. "Sugoi!"

Keichi sent a small smile at his cousin, and walked into the ruins of his village. He had a lot to show the boy.

* * *

"How was the trip?"

Naruto smiled at the blonde sitting at the desk in front of him, a true smile. "It was great." And that was all he said. Tsunade understood why, having her own clan secrets that she knew only for her and wouldn't share for anything. But that didn't mean she didn't have her own news.

Keichi had departed the day before, and that left Naruto free to learn the second part of her earlier speech. "Naruto, do you remember how I said you had more than one parent?"

He cocked his head at her, blue eyes inquisitive. "Of course I did, everyone has two parents…as a medic you should know that baa-chan." Her mouth quirked in annoyance and he grinned at having gotten a successful dig in. "Uzumaki Kushina was my mom, and Namikaze Minato was my dad."

"Very good…" She gave him a gimlet eye for his remark. "In your case, having two parents means you have not one, but two legacies."

There was a pause of a beat, then Naruto opened his mouth wide. "_Eh?"_

"Not only did the Uzumaki leave you their history and secrets, but your father did as well – the difference being he didn't have any family to pass them on, and so he confided them in whomever the next Hokage would be." Tsunade paused for a moment to relish Naruto's dumbfounded expression. One would think after all the surprises the blond had been through in his life, he could take something like this in stride, but it seemed he never quite recovered his equilibrium from the last. "That kid was an annoying little gaki at first, too."

The last statement shocked Naruto out of his stupor. "Hey don't call my dad a brat!"

"I'm telling it like it is," Tsunade shot back, although she grinned at his fiery defense. "When I first met Minato he was an academy student and he was a little pansy. Those were Kushina's exact words for him too. But then Jiraiya got his hooks into the boy and suddenly he started shaping up – didn't do anything for his idealism though. The fool believed he could change anyone or anything if he worked hard enough at it…but that's what made him a good Hokage. After sensei got a dose of realism into him."

"He wasn't just good, he was the best!"

"Hey, watch who you're telling that to," Tsunade flicked a rock at the boy, annoyed, but soft enough he could actually see it coming. "Current Hokage here you know. You remind me of him, with your loud mouth and promises that you'll save everyone; promises you actually keep. You grew on me too, just like he did. Of course, it took him a few years where it took you a week, but your measures were much more drastic." She paused to examine his expression and figured her boy was keeping up well enough. "Now, onto your heritage. I know you got to talk to your parents and I don't know what they told you about what they left behind…but here's a message that's been in safekeeping here in this room for the past seventeen years." The blonde withdrew a small scroll from a desk drawer – having retrieved it from the safe it had been kept in earlier – and pushed it across the desk until it rested right in front of the boy. "Everything that you should ever need to know about the Namikaze name and it's owners is in there, and anything related to it."

"But baa-chan, don't you know?" He didn't reach out to take the scroll just yet, instead staring at its unassuming appearance against the wooden top.

"Us shinobi are a suspicious lot; it wouldn't do to bandy too much secret information around, even to a Hokage. Imagine if Danzou got ahold of that," she gestured to the scroll. "Anything in it would be lost to you, because you can bet the dirt bag wouldn't share any of it. No, Minato was very close-mouthed about anything personal, and I know for a fact that scroll is locked with a blood seal that requires both Namikaze and Uzumaki blood. It's meant only for you."

With hesitant fingers Naruto reached out and carefully picked up the scroll, half expecting it to disintegrate in his hands. When it didn't, he let out a silent sigh of relief and slipped it into his weapons pouch with an extra pat to make sure it stayed. "Tsunade-sama…thank you."

She decided the moment she heard it that it was really unnerving to hear Naruto refer to her formally. Not that she would ever tell him, because the gaki would never let her live it down. "I'm just doing my job."

"No, you're doing much more than that." Tsunade wasn't the only one who could be cryptic, and it was his turn to catch her off guard. In a movement faster than she was prepared for, Naruto came around the desk and gave the woman who was returning so much to him a tight hug, letting go before she could react. "Now stop worrying so much. Can't have you getting any more wrinkles than you already do!" He danced back out of range before she could grab his collar and hurl him out the window, making for the door. "Ja ne!"

"Naruto, get back here you little brat!" the blonde hollered, but her heart wasn't in it. At least he was happy, and there were finally no more secrets surrounding her boy. It could only get better.

* * *

Naruto placed the small scroll reverently in the hole next to the larger one Keichi had given to him, all of their clan's papers, history, and artifacts sealed up in it for perusal at his own leisure. Most he had at least glanced over. Now he had both his legacies before him and he didn't have to wonder about any of it anymore.

It was worth all the questions before to have that moment.


	357. Raiden

Okay, it feels a bit corny at the end, but you know what? I can do corny. Yeah.

This was requested by Star, and it's a continuation from a two parter so long ago...140 and 141, We Regret to Inform You. I hope it suits!

* * *

Raiden

"Mommy?" Tsunade looked up as Raiden padded into the kitchen, his five year old feet bare on the tile floor. He looked adorable with his short white-blond hair sleep mussed and one fist rubbing at a nearly closed eye.

"Raiden, what are you doing up?" It was nearly nine in the evening, and her son should have been fast asleep; she had tucked him in herself not an hour ago. Usually the boy was good about sleeping through the night – he was a good child in general, never making a fuss unless necessary, not trying to burst her eardrums with sound…a large sight different from his father at that age.

"I woke up." He stated it as though it were an obvious fact, which it was. Another thing he was good at, reasoning things out and stating them as they were. The boy padded a few steps closer to the chair his mother sat in and looked up the few feet separating their faces. "I didn't like sleeping."

Tsunade took one look at her son's small face and couldn't resist. In a smooth movement her arm came around his waist and hoisted him up into the air until he was settled on her lap, back pressed to her abdomen and head resting against her arm. "Why didn't you like sleeping?"

He snuggled into the hold for a moment before looking up at her seriously. "My dreams weren't nice. I saw someone and he was leaving and I asked him to come back but he wouldn't and I saw you crying and then he was gone and you were alone and you didn't see me and then you said my name." His guileless dark eyes bore into hers. "Is he my daddy?"

Tsunade didn't answer for a moment, trying to make sense of the tangle of words that had come out of her son's mouth. He may be intelligent for a five year old, but he could also speak like one. When she boiled down what she had heard, it sounded as though his subconscious had finally decided to take note of the fact that his father was missing from the picture. Without letting her expression change, the blonde winced. It was a topic she had tried to avoid as long as possible, putting off the inevitable. But now that he was asking she couldn't evade any longer.

Images flashed behind her eyes – Sarutobi announcing the beginning of the war, Jiraiya giving her a kiss and turning away to leave for the front lines, Sarutobi's ever grim face as she visited him for news, the stark contrast of the messenger's face against the street behind, spiraling downward and downward…a polished and cut stone glistening in the rain as another series of names was inscribed on it, bright lights that hurt her eyes, then a pair of dark eyes that she recognized staring into her own.

"Your daddy left to go fight in the war," she began carefully, her other arm coming up to loop over Raiden's waist and hold him there tightly. Just as those five years ago, his presence calmed her and brought her back to reality. "But he didn't come back. Do you remember the war they taught you about at the Academy?"

Raiden nodded, bangs brushing across his forehead at the movement and making the tuft of hair sticking up at the back of his head bounce. "Konoha fought against Iwa and Kumo and Kiri with Suna on our side. We beat Iwa first and Kiri then Kumo signed the peace treaty. The heroes were Jiraiya of the Sannin, Uzumaki Kushina, Namikaze Minato, and Uchiha Itachi for their part in the most important battle. Only Jiraiya of the Sannin never returned," he rattled off, proud of his knowledge. "Jiraiya was your teammate right kaa-chan?"

"Yes Jiraiya was my teammate." She had told him stories about her genin team and all the adventures they got up to when putting him to bed – her son seemed to love those best. "But he was also your daddy."

She loved watching his eyes, and when they widened in amazement her heart melted all over again. "_Really?_ But he was super strong and, and…you promise?"

The question was so _Raiden_ that she had to laugh even as she bit back the tears. "Yes, I promise." What she didn't expect was for his small arms to come around her waist and his face to be buried in her stomach.

"I'm sorry," she could make out the words he mumbled into the cloth.

"Raiden, why are you sorry?" She pushed at his shoulders, trying to get him to pull back and look at her; his behavior worried her. Crying she had expected, even maybe anger for keeping it from him, or happiness for finally knowing who. He had long ago figured out that his father was dead, and come to terms with it. When he did finally look up, she could see his cheeks were wet with tears.

"I'm sorry he's dead because you knew him forever," the boy explained solemnly. "I'm sorry for you kaa-chan."

She had nothing to say to that and let her hand wander to his back, rubbing absently in an age old gesture of comfort. Her son was worried about _her_; wasn't it supposed to be the other way around in parenting? "Raiden, I accepted the fact he was dead years ago," she finally said, meeting her son's eyes so he'd know she told the truth. "I just wish he was here to see you."

"Can we see him instead?"

"Raiden…"

He took her larger hand in both of his smaller to get her attention. "Can we?"

She hadn't understood what he meant at first, but it became clear with the repetition. "Yes, we can go see him."

That's how the two, mother and son, ended up standing in front of the Memorial Stone, each holding a stuffed toad because they had agreed flowers were too common for such a man. Raiden moved first, placing his orange offering down on the small platform and stepping up to run his fingers over the name of his father, Tsunade moving behind him to do the same.

No words were spoken.

Then Tsunade picked up her son and they walked away, leaving behind three items at the monument – two larger toads and a small necklace with a bolt of lightning around both of their necks.


	358. Rasengan Scooter

Yes, it's just as strange as the title. This idea was modified from one given to me by freewolf17 and TwinFans...and I got the idea for the rasengan scooter from Avatar the Last Airbender. Because it's awesome like that. Meant to be funny, but we'll see how that turns out since I wrote it with a fried brain ^^;

* * *

Rasengan Scooter

It was going to be his all new method of transport, and darn it Ero-sennin would be blown away by how utterly _cool_ it was that he could modify a jutsu the pervert had taught him! It all started with Konohamaru, of course.

The boy had been messing around with a ball he found near the Academy and decided to show off for his 'boss'. Honestly Naruto wasn't all that sure what cool new trick someone could do with a _ball_ of all things that hadn't been done at least twenty times before – even he himself had been unable to incorporate the object into any new pranks. But like any good boss, he sat down to watch the show and cheer the kid on.

Both of them had to admit that the first few attempts weren't promising at all; Konohamaru ended up on his back more often than not as the ball bounced away and either Udon or Moegi had to go fetch it, but after some more experimentation, the brunet had gotten down something Naruto would have thought impossible. He was moving around by walking on the ball. Sure it was shaky and Konohamaru had fallen off the first few times, but soon – probably much sooner than a civilian due to his Academy training – he could easily walk around the road on the large plastic ball, no small smirk on his face.

That was when the idea hit Naruto, an overlay of watching a small cat bat around a little plastic ball like a play toy shadowing the image of the Sandaime's grandson. He didn't just have to have a ball, the blond could _make his own ball_. And if he made his own ball, he could use it as a mode of transportation! It might be slower than running, but it would definitely be a lot more fun! Why didn't more people try things like that? The fact that it would cost an enormous amount of chakra that most people didn't have didn't even factor into his mind.

And that was the birth of the Rasengan Scooter, take one.

He found that his first problem was the size of the rasengan. Sure he could easily make one about the size of the palm of his hand with the help of a clone, but when he had tried to ride it – and yes he had to try – the weight of his body merely drove the swirling sphere into the ground and created a crater. Not at all what he wanted.

Which led to the second problem – contact. Because of that crater, Naruto decided he needed a way to protect the earth from his attack, because what was the use of going places if you couldn't go back that way too? And it would get all the civilians mad at him. That was when Konohamaru, observing his attempts from the side of the training ground, suggested a chakra shield around the ball. A thin enough one so it would move, the boy said, but enough the swirling wouldn't rip it apart.

Genius.

After achieving that, it was all a matter of size. He kept pumping more chakra into the ball, but that didn't end up making it bigger, it made it denser. So he had to find a way to make the modified rasengan large enough to sit on…and that idea came in the form of a ball of yarn. What if he made a base rasengan and had some clones wrap chakra around it until it was really large? Maybe that would even take care of the whole ripping up the ground thing, and if he controlled the direction of the rasengan inside the wrappings he could change direction at will!

Somehow it seemed his true genius only came out when fighting and dealing with jutsu. Also, the fact that wrapping solid chakra should be impossible just didn't register.

Of course he hadn't taken into account the amount of control required to keep all that chakra wrapped up in a ball, even before he sat on it and had to hold both hands between his knees, resting on the surface of the ball to try and moderate the chakra. Nope, it didn't work, the ball would unravel itself and send him shooting off in a random direction clinging on for dear life. He had learned the hard way the first time that releasing the chakra got him blown back up into the air – usually for a fast meeting with a tree. At least getting on the darned contraption was easy.

It was then that Konohamaru again provided a valuable suggestion. Why not have two clones run on either side to stabilize it? The idea was gold.

And so the Rasengan Scooter Version 3.0 was born.

Naturally, Naruto had to take his new creation to the streets. What better way to show off his new accomplishment than to demonstrate it to the masses? And that as how he, two clones, and the Konohamaru Corps ended up in the main square that bustled with people and was surrounded by shops.

"Ready boss?" Konohamaru called. He and Udon and Moegi were in charge of directing the clones if they felt a spot of the ball was becoming too neglected with the wrap job.

"Ready!" Naruto yelled back, gesturing to one of his clones to start helping with the base rasengan. In merely a few seconds, it was ready for the second stage. The other clone approached and both focused chakra into their hands, moving around and around the chakra attack to make it larger. That was when the first civilians noticed what was going on and edged out of the way. Self-preservation instincts for the unknown were a quickly and highly developed skill among the non-shinobi population.

Moegi and Udon danced around the ball, guiding a clone here and there to fill in a gap until they were satisfied. When they both stood back…

"All clear boss!" Konohamaru gave Naruto a thumbs up then backed away as well as the two blond clones moved into position. "Run her!"

The scooter started forward slowly, Naruto balancing precariously on top of it as his clones guided the ball. As they began to jog, the modified rasengan picked up speed until he was moving along at a decent clip, the three Konohamaru Corps running ahead to clear those people who hadn't noticed his progress along the street out of his way. They weren't needed as people began to see a blond boy clad in bright orange on top of a glowing blue ball headed towards them. That was more than enough incentive.

"It's working!" Naruto cried, raising one fist off his magnificent creation to pump into the air. His biggest mistake. Immediately the ball began to list to the side and collapse in on itself as it lost the constant support of chakra, and the clone on the right tried to make adjustments…right before their heads banged together and dispersed the clone. His rasengan scooter was officially out of control.

The sudden influx of chakra dispelled his second clone and even the Konohamaru Corps had to leap out of the way to avoid the ball as it shot forward, shedding chakra as it went. The stray flares left a trail behind the blond, tearing up the pavement in an ever-broadening trench. Naruto frantically tried to regain control of his ball by dispersing and evening out the chakra, but it refused to be tamed. He suddenly careened sideways, scraping the wall of one of the restaurants lining that part of the street and gouging out an impression. Then the rebellious ball made him bounce –_ bounce – _off the house opposite, and Konohamaru was barely able to pull a civilian out of the way in time.

The next five seconds were a blur of motion that was abruptly halted as his momentum jarred to a stop – a good thing, right? Wrong, he found out the moment the first planks of wood crashed down upon his head.

When the loud sounds finally ceased and Naruto dared to uncover his cranium, he noticed he was inside a building at the far end from the door, where a large hole was busted in the glass. "Oops."

"Oops?" a menacing voice laden with so much malice the boy froze and didn't dare turn his head came from somewhere to his right. "Oops?"

The click of heels – just as ominous as the voice was – announced the movement of its owner. "Oops?" Tsunade stood in front of the dazed blond, hands planted firmly on her hips and the promise of retribution of a thousand hells in her eyes. "_Oops?_ You and your _creation _wrecked my favorite bar!" The faintly visible outline of blue chakra around the fist she curled up and drew back didn't bode well for the blond.

Somehow he didn't think she would care he was pioneering a new mode of transportation. "Ah…sorry?"

"You _will_ be."


	359. Every Battle

A mix of ideas from an anonymous, UzimakiShadow, Kaiser969 and freewolf17, and Addster to tie them together. Thanks to all of you, I hope I do this justice.

Also, I just broke 1000 pages on the word document tonight! Yay!

In other news, it is almost 3am and I have to get up at 7am for an 8am class. Can we say crazy?

* * *

Every Battle

There was nothing more terrifying than seeing buildings crash down around you with no visible cause. He was just lucky that the whole block had fallen away from him instead of towards, otherwise he'd be pancake on the ground at the moment.

He didn't have a shinobi's reflexes, instincts, or most importantly, power, which all made it very hard to survive when a shinobi battle was occurring right over your head and all around you. Yes some of the civilians had been evacuated, but he wasn't one of the lucky few.

Another series of rumbles and shouts sounded around him and the man curled deeper into the gap between two large pieces of stone that had once been walls. It was his only protection and so far, it had held up quite well. But civilians never had that kind of luck for long he had learned.

Sure enough there was a high impact thud against one of his protective stones, and the whole block – which must have weighed a ton – shifted slightly. He held his breath, hoping against hope it would hold and even holding his breath to facilitate. There was more movement on top as whoever it was that had been sent flying stood and leapt away, then silence but for the sounds of battle once more.

He let out the breath.

One of the stones cracked completely in half and fell on his legs as he tried to scramble out from underneath it.

The pain was excruciating as he lay trapped on his stomach, legs crushed beneath the block, and he was pretty sure he passed out for at least a minute. When his vision refocused, he had a clear view of an area that had been completely wiped of everything but for the hard packed dirt beneath with a man dressed in a strange black and red cloak standing in the center.

The attacker seemed to be conversing with someone or something, and that was when he saw her. Their Hokage standing proudly on a building, yelling something he couldn't hear at the man. She looked magnificent and regal, far more inspiring than even the Sandaime as she stood there, green jacket flapping from the disturbances caused by other battles. Determination radiated from her face, and he could feel his own confidence grow despite his situation.

Then she attacked and the man held out his hand, and he held his breath.

He kept holding it as they exchanged a flurry of blows, but even to the untrained civilian eye it was apparent the Godaime wasn't in top form. But still he rooted for her silently, afraid that if he opened his mouth he would scream and accidentally distract her.

The breath shot out from his mouth on a violent exhale as Tsunade was hit with a force that didn't seem to exist and flew backwards to bounce across the earth and land – oh so ironically – on the ground in front of him, resting against one of the stones that had provided his shelter.

It was probably the closest he had ever been to the Hokage. Her eyes were closed and there was a trail of blood trickling from her mouth; there didn't seem to be any other injuries on her but he could tell by her labored breathing something was wrong.

But she was the Hokage! She wasn't supposed to be injured or die, she had been one of the Sandaime's students and she was _strong_. She protected the village. Without her – without a Hokage – there would be no one for them to turn to. The Sandaime was dead, Jiraiya was dead, and now…

When her normally smooth skin vanished, leaving in its place an older and more wrinkled version of the woman tales said remained ever-young, he couldn't stop the bolt of cold fear that shot right through his body, even masking the pain of his legs.

* * *

Sakura had looked up from checking on the next civilian she had found – dead – just in time to see Tsunade challenge Pein. Her breath had caught to see her mentor standing there so proudly after everything else she had done – including sending most of her chakra to the shinobi and civilian population to keep them alive. The woman truly was someone to be feared and admired as one of the strongest kunoichi of the times. That, however, didn't mean she was infallible as Sakura knew from all the nights she had listened to her shishou in a drunken haze, reliving the memories of the past. That same knowledge had her moving as quickly as possible towards the scene, hoping against hope that she would get there in time to reinforce Tsunade.

The exchange of blows the two went through in mere seconds was breathtaking, but even from a distance Sakura could tell Tsunade was tired. _Shishou, just hold on a little longer, you don't have to fight everything alone…_and yet even as she thought that, she wondered why no one else had entered the fight to help their Hokage. A second later the reason was apparent as it became clear the man had been _toying_ with the Sannin.

A high pitched keen sounded in the air as the blonde was thrown backwards by an invisible force, hitting the ground far harder than even her chakra-enforced body would be able to withstand easily. The sound startled Sakura as she stood frozen, watching the body of the woman who had taught her everything skid to a stop at the base of a huge rock, and it was only when she tried to look around to find the noise that she realized the source – herself.

The chakra flooded her legs without a conscious command, sending the pinkette shooting forward to the place her mentor lay, unmoving. She was a medic kunoichi, surely Tsunade had enough chakra left to heal her own injuries, surely she had kept enough in reserve…but deep in her mind, Sakura knew the Hokage had given everything she had and more to the people she was tasked to protect. There was nothing left for herself.

She saw only Tsunade when she landed in a crouch, unconsciously ducking behind the rock next to her shishou in an instinctive move to hide herself from Pein's vision. As though he even cared, all he wanted was Naruto.

With shaking fingers she reached for Tsunade's wrist, determined to check her pulse and find she was still alive – but for the raspy voice that stopped her.

"Sakura. Enough." A hand that looked so much older than it had two years ago reached out limply and rested on Sakura's knee. The pinkette picked it up and cradled it gently; no longer did an aura of confidence and strength surround the Hokage. Now she was just an older woman…dying.

The knowledge brought tears to the younger woman's eyes. "But shishou, I can – !"

"Who taught you? I know what can and can't be done. Sakura…you can't win every battle."

The words tore through her like a knife, the same phrase Tsunade had told her right after Naruto had left and she had felt broken without her team. The blonde had never said them again unless she was so deep in sake she didn't remember the next day, but they burned in the pinkette's mind.

So she didn't say anything in reply, she just knelt next to her shishou, the woman who had taught her everything and become her second mother, clasping Tsunade's hand until it went limp.

* * *

He had never seen someone so…broken. The girl didn't cry, but the expression of raw agony on her face was crystal clear. He knew vaguely that she was the Hokage's apprentice and was the next medical prodigy, most easily identified by her hair color. And it was clear she was not just broken, but shattered by the woman's death.

Tsunade's chest was no longer moving, and he could barely make out the words Sakura was mumbling under her breath. "The one battle I should have won…" The phrase made no sense to him, but he was a civilian with no knowledge of the shinobi…and two crushed legs.

Whatever willpower had been keeping him silent before lost to the overwhelming pain, and he couldn't restrain the groan of agony that slipped out of his mouth. Sakura whipped around at the noise, easily spotting him lying on the ground, body half under the giant rock.

It did her huge credit in his eyes that despite her own emotional trauma she put down her mentor's hand swiftly and rushed over to him – at least, when he reviewed the scene in his mind when he could think clearly without pain clogging his thoughts.

The pinkette didn't even speak, instead immediately placing both hands on his temples and suddenly he couldn't feel anything, not the rock, not the ground, not even her hands. His brain fogged for a moment and when he could concentrate again he was being moved – and the rock was gone.

"I'm taking you to the emergency care tent," her voice slowly floated through his head as he was scooped up, head lolling as he couldn't support it. His eyes, staring straight ahead, were looking right at the Hokage where she lay against the rock, looking almost as though she were resting but for the trickle of blood and the rents and dirt in her clothing.

"Hokage…" he managed to get out weakly. Whatever was making his body numb also made his head feel fuzzy.

There was a pause. "You are the priority."

Maybe, he mused as they traveled and he lost his consciousness to the sky and rumble of battle behind them, even with the last student of the Sandaime gone his ideals would live on in the village, keeping it the welcoming and friendly place it had always been.


	360. Serenity

Based on a dare from Ella Unlimited, I hope it suits ^^

As of this chapter, there are now only 5 left before this series ends. :(

* * *

Serenity

He enjoyed watching the waters in their calmness, undisturbed by the world around the river. Some portions were smooth as glass, everything above perfectly reflected, while others undulated lightly, slightly distorting the view of the rocks below the surface. He dropped his hand into the water, disturbing the surface and causing a pattern of ripples to spread from his wrist as he enjoyed the cool feel of the liquid against his skin.

It was one of the few consistencies in his life, the feelings of nature upon his skin. They weren't affected by the fickle moods of the people around him, the ones that smiled one day and scowled the next, either giving him a treat and calling him cute or shooing him away with threats of violence. Those people flickered around like wildfire, never remaining constant or even giving a sign of how they would act the next day.

No, the river always flowed the same way the next day and the day after, adapting to the obstacles put in its path by following the same patterns each time. He curled his fingers around one of the smooth rocks on the riverbed and withdrew his hand from the river's grasp, which released it with barely a sound.

The stone was smooth in his hand and he stared at it, blue eyes examining the object carefully. He had spent many hours in just such a pose, crouching on the river bank and trying to pick apart the secrets of the rocks, how they were so indifferent to everything thrown at them. The only way to break them as he had long ago found out was to throw them at something harder than themselves – a lesson he had tried to take to heart without success.

Somehow, he could never make himself the harder person.

Instead, people were more like the little pockmarked holes he sometimes found on the rocks, drilling away at the casing and the protection until it was weak and there were gaps through which the insults and the pain could burrow and nest until they broke the shield apart from the inside, rendering it useless. Those rocks, he had found when he tested them, broke against the slightest pressure to the right area, shattering into large fragments that were roughhewn on the inside and matched together perfectly when he pieced them back together. But it didn't mask the fact that they were still broken, and that there were visible cracks on the outside.

The rocks were never whole after that.

He had tried to glue it back together once, taking his favorite rock of all the ones he had found to ojii-san and begging the man to help him. The Hokage had taken a brief look at the rock and then at Naruto's earnest face, and shook his head slowly.

"Naruto, even if you glue it back together perfectly, the rock will never be the same," he told the boy seriously, watching as the blond's face fell. "It will always be scarred by its trauma, and even all the glue in the world can't take that away."

"But then it won't break!" he had protested, taking the pieces back from the Hokage and cradling them tightly together until even he couldn't see the seams anymore.

A much larger hand was placed over his two smaller ones and pried them apart gently until the rock pieces fell apart into fragments once more. "If you seal these cracks away from the world forever, it will just develop new ones. Once the integrity is broken, the rock is never quite as strong again."

Back then he hadn't quite understood all the references the old man had been making, but now they were all too clear. Even with all the glue in the world, the burrowers still got behind the shield and made new cracks, sometimes even prying open the old ones.

He had taken one of those rocks he had glued together even against ojii-san's advice and thrown it at the ground again, trying to prove the Hokage wrong. Instead, the rock had split along the same seams he had patched, the only difference in its previous appearance being the remnants of the adhesive left on the rough edges.

Now Naruto looked at the still whole rock in his hand, its flat surface polished smooth by the passage of the river over it, no flaws marring its surface where something could take advantage and break its shield. The ideal and the dream.

Drawing back his hand, Naruto skipped the rock across the water, once, twice, three times, before it sunk beneath the calm surface. Three circles of ripples radiated from the points of contact, disturbing the water for a few moments when they overlapped before dissipating.

If only all disturbances were so fleeting.


	361. Trust

The one word dare by Addster, and guess which word it was? Yup, that's right, trust. Just so you don't get confused the middle part (that doesn't have anything to do with falling) takes place in the village, while everything else is on a mission.

* * *

Trust

_Trust_, was the only word sounding in his mind as he fell downwards, looking up at the clouded sky above as the air rushed past his body. It was all a system of trust. That your back would be watched, that your life would be protected, that if you could do nothing to save yourself, your teammates would do everything in their power to save you. That was the whole idea behind team exercises after all; a way to build up trust in the three people whose hands you would place your life, and to ensure you worked together seamlessly and without doubts as to another's effectiveness. For one hesitation could mean death.

It was trust on which he based the rationale of his mind overcoming his body in the struggle not to move, not to turn and try to meet the ground and hell with it if he broke some bones in the fall. No, they had a plan, and even though timing was everything, they _would_ come through for him. They always had before.

How else would they have gotten away with so much in the village?

Most people knew _someone_ was responsible for all the strange occurrences that happened around the village once in a while, but the perpetrators had never been caught. Of course, the days on which those events happened, oddly enough, coincided exactly with Team Sarutobi's free days, but since Tsunade was the princess, nobody even made the connection.

All the better for them.

With Orochimaru's penchant for planning, Tsunade's charm she could turn on at will – with everybody except himself of course – and his own skill with basic seals and traps, they made a formidable team that struck whoever had unfortunately garnered their attention that day. More often than not, the target ended up being Tsunade's great-uncle for the simple reason that he had the most entertaining reaction of all of their 'subjects'. If even one of them faltered in their duty Tobirama would have hung them up by their heels, brother and Hokage be damned for the consequences. Of course the white haired man knew exactly who was messing with him, but without the proof they so painstakingly hid and without catching any of them in the act – as they all ran interference for each other – he could never justify the action.

Running down a hallway and _knowing_ Orochimaru would set off the trap behind him the moment he was clear, in that split second gap between prey and pursuer. _Knowing_ Tsunade was waiting just around the corner to pull him into an already disguised alcove, one he would never have been able to find on his own, and watching as their target scratched his head in confusion from just two feet away.

Trusting his teammates to execute their portions of Operation Mud Splatter at the exact time as he finished the final painstaking lines of the seal in an excruciatingly public area and hightailing it out of there when the ANBU were distracted.

Knowing the other two would cover for him and he for them when Sarutobi quizzed them with that knowing glint in his eye as to what they had been up to the day before.

There was something about the thrill of having one's life not in their own control, but rather depending on others to fulfill their own parts. Who said life had to be boring after all?

He caught his breath sharply as someone grabbed him by the shoulders, not stopping his downward fall but rather redirecting him at an angle so he flew not perpendicular to the ground but more diagonally, the direction change helped along by an upward flip that bled off velocity. He had already felt a lessening of his speed even as he saw his next catcher waiting on a tree branch. As he neared the boy's position his teammate leapt into the air, catching him by the shoulders and absorbing more of his momentum by bringing him around in a half circle until he headed back the way he came, moving a bit lower all the time until he was a mere hundred feet off the ground instead of the nearly seven hundred he had started at.

He was still going too fast to catch himself, but the third and final member of their team stood waiting on yet another tree branch, anchored with chakra he could see surrounding and bracing their legs all the way up to the knee. Doing his own job, Jiraiya oriented his back towards the man and when he felt two strong arms grasp around his waist and chest – as well as the quite forceful impact of his back into his sensei's chest – the white haired boy knew it had been a successful maneuver. He has survived the fall without even a single injury thanks to his teammates.

"Good job, all of you." Sarutobi set Jiraiya down on the branch next to him as both Tsunade and Orochimaru arrived from their two posts. "Tsunade, Orochimaru, your timing was perfect and your aim right on target, I don't think Jiraiya even brushed a twig. And Jiraiya…" The boy looked up into his sensei's serious brown eyes. "You handled the situation with more poise than I've seen in experienced chuunin. You never once struggled and you trusted your teammates to catch you without any doubt. The greatest achievement in this mission belongs to you."

He couldn't stop his chest from puffing out with pride. All it took was trust.


	362. Demon's Angel

Suggestion from Kaiser969, based on Acceptance and Resignation, except this time we're throwing another character in the mix. I hope it suits...

* * *

Demon's Angel

She was the silent, the unexpected, the unknown. She watched from the shadows, a place she inhabited so frequently no one ever noticed any longer. What was seen from the shadows was never forgotten, never escaped its retribution.

She was the vengeful angel for the one who had no other.

Since she was a child she had always been more comfortable in the shadows than in the spotlight, preferring to watch those who liked the attention and observe their actions and ploys. Any time someone approached her, she would bow her head and try to hide behind her hair, deflecting their interest with stammers and nervous gestures until they simply left her alone, figuring her to be weird or just too shy to talk to. She truly was.

When she discovered _him_, however, that shyness was put to a better use. She could see he was just as lonely as she was on the inside, and he hid in the shadows as well, but different from her. His shadows were deeper and darker and not self-inflicted. His shadows wounded him and hurt him and there was nothing he could do to change it.

The first time she had followed him home she had seen him fight back to try and deter them. The civilians simply kept coming, too inebriated to feel remorse or pity for what they were doing. That first time horrified her. When he just picked himself up after the attack, tearing off a strip of a rag to bind around his wounds and taking the few more streets back to his dingy apartment, she was shocked. Why did they attack? He hadn't been doing anything wrong, and they called him things she didn't understand, the same thing her father had told her time and time again. But she didn't understand. He was just a boy, right?

She followed him every day for the next week, taking scrupulous measure to not draw any attention to herself from her family or anyone else. As long as her duties were done, they didn't care where she went. The civilians never noticed her either, hidden in the shadows of the alleyway and blending in with the darkness.

The second, third, and fourth times she had followed him were uneventful, but the fifth she saw him curse and kick at the wall outside his apartment before entering. Only when she was sure he wasn't coming back out did she creep closer and manage a peek in the window. The inside was trashed – curtains ripped down and balled up, graffiti scrawled on the walls, dishes lying on the floor and she suspected the only reason they weren't broken was because they were plastic. Food was scattered around as well, and all the eggs had been smashed.

Who would do such a thing? The little girl began to suspect she knew.

The seventh day the attack came again and this time he didn't fight back, merely tried to dodge the blows and escape. Escape was impossible until they left. When the drunks finally stumbled away, leaning on each other and laughing, she watched as he lay there curled into a tight ball, shoulders shaking with silent sobs and silent tears. Having cried that way herself all too often, she knew he never wanted anybody to see him that way, and so she stayed in the shadows.

What had her curled in a corner pressing her little hands over her mouth was the identity of one of the attackers – she knew him as a chuunin, one her father had told her was exemplary and a person to look up to always.

The civilians she could maybe forgive for being possibly uninformed – a chuunin she could not. It was then she decided she would become his angel and protector from a distance, never letting him know of her existence but punishing those who dared harm him.

From that point on she tried to avoid his attention whenever possible, the most out of all the people in the village. He noticed her anyways, but when she would blush and look away he would quickly lose interest and head off to whatever seemed exciting. She was glad he didn't change.

Eventually she witnessed him stop fighting the beatings and the vandalism, only dealing with the aftereffects. Never once did he let slip that he was being beaten regularly; never could she tell he was actually injured but that she had seen the injuries occur the night before. He was the true master of hiding, and she only a disciple to protect the worthy.

The first time she truly thought herself ready was the day after the genin test. They had all passed except for Naruto, but a rumor was flying around the village that he had passed by proxy and when he showed up to their class, she believed it. And just as all the examples before, she knew that when there was a major event involving him, they would strike the hardest.

Just as she thought, he was in his house, making dinner when they arrived. He still put up traps, but somehow the villagers had enough skill to get past them even in their drunken state. She would swear they were all Academy drop outs. She waited outside the apartment as she heard his voice within. "Let's get this over with."

She clenched her teeth and recited the mantra over in her mind – "Vengeance is the justice of the lonely. Vengeance is the angel." Her mind sharpened, her senses focused, and her anger that no one would ever believe she possessed became such an edge she nearly trembled. They opened the window not a foot to her right and clambered out, laughing with each other and alcohol fumes on their breath as they joked about how "next time we'll give the demon his true dues".

She waited until they were a block from the apartment before vanishing as silent as a whisper and appearing in front of the four, blocking the path with her slight form, head bowed.

"Oi, it's a kid," one commented unnecessarily, staring at her in confusion. "Whatcha doin' out so late kid?"

She didn't answer, raising her head with her eyes closed as she focused all her determination into them.

"Hey kid, he asked a question. Your parent's will be…" The second man trailed off as she spoke without opening her eyes.

"You are the scum of the earth. You prey upon the lonely. Vengeance is the justice of the lonely. Vengeance is the angel." Her eyes snapped open, emotionless with the strength of her purpose. "I am the angel."

They didn't have time to scream.

For months she enacted her justice undiscovered, always intercepting the attackers after they left Naruto behind. She could not and would not interfere with his battle, but she could fight her own after. They never learned, although they whispered of the silent figure in shadow, called her the demon's angel, but they never stopped. Nobody said they were smart.

When she left their bodies lying in the street for someone to stumble upon, who would no doubt come to the conclusion they were simply too drunk, she caught sight of them. The golden eyes that gleamed in the shadows as well, watching. They shared one long look, pale and gold, before the observer gave one long blink and vanished.

It was approval.


	363. Brethren

Alert, alert, alert! Spoilers from the newest Naruto manga chapter! Don't read if you don't know or want to know yet!

Now that that's out of the way, this was suggested by freewolf17 and Kaiser969. So...we'll see how well I did with it, definitely a bit of a strange one.

* * *

Brethren

His first conscious thought was of pain, and his second was the realization of an identity. His third was of a name: Kurama. His fourth was of a body, a mind, and senses of his own. No longer was he 'one', a 'one' he had never been aware of until he was not 'one'.

The darkness seemed familiar and unchanged, but now there was a warmth that was comforting and moving around him. Somehow he knew without knowing that opening his eyes would show others like him. And when he did so, he was confronted with eight others who did look like him internally, where he could see their selves. But apart from their unique exterior appearances, there was one other thing that set them apart. The amount of tails that lashed behind them.

He counted – something else he knew from before – the numbers one through eight where the others like him were huddled, all pressing against each other in confusion. So when he twisted in an attempt to see his own tails…

"You are nine," came a low rumbling voice from the position next to him, where the largest of those he could see sat. "You are Kyuubi."

For some reason that name didn't sit quite right however, and he shook his head irritably, feeling his long ears move with the motion. "I am not." I. It was a strange concept.

The strange bull octopus mix growled at him. "You are Kyuubi and I am Hachibi."

"It is not all we are," spoke up a light blue slug from his right, its six tails moving slowly. "We are more."

It was then, before the octopus could start in on the slug, that a light flared into existence – and only then that he realized he could see his fellows without the light because they glowed. In the center of their circle, one they were all sitting in, a man stood. A shiver of recognition ran through all nine of them, a knowledge of who was in front of them and what he meant to them.

The Sage of the Six Paths looked around at the beings he had split from the being that had become if not his friend, an acquaintance, the Juubi. And from the Juubi who was too dangerous, he had created nine lesser beings into the world. He looked at the tanuki, the cat, the turtle, the ape, the dog, the slug, the larvae who would become a horned fly as it grew, the octopus bull, and the fox. "You are more."

All of their attention was focused on him. "You know from whence you existed, and you know what you are now. You know your names. Tell me." It wasn't a request, it was a command from one who knew what they were capable of and how to control them.

The raccoon was the first to speak up. "Shukaku."

Next was the cat. "Matatabi."

"Isobu."

"Son Gokuu."

"Kokuou."

"Saiken."

"Choumei."

"Gyuuki."

The Kyuubi paused for a moment, searching the inside of his mind as the man in front of him said. A voice echoed back from the confines of himself, whispering. "Kurama."

The sage nodded decisively. "You who are brothers and sisters, were created from one. You will always be together, even if you are separated. And one day, you will all become one once more…" He broke off and met each of their eyes individually, the baby bijuu he had created. "You are each different. For now you must separate across the world to grow, but there will come a time you will meet again."

The black painted seal they all stood on glowed blue for a moment as the Sage raised his arms, bracketed by the two lit torches on either side of his body. Without a word from the man, it flared higher, and then Kurama found himself in a place of forests and mountains, with none of his so named brethren in sight.

Even though he didn't know them, he already felt alone.

* * *

_Kurama_. The word brought the Kyuubi out of his slumber, raising his head for the first time in a century. Without the need to eat, he was content to simply sleep the years away as his body slowly grew, feeding the chakra that nested inside it into a shape. When he was bigger, he decided, then he would venture the world and see what he found.

_Kurama_. The word sounded deep inside his mind again, and suddenly he wasn't lying amongst the trees and giant boulders he called his home but rather standing on a flat white plain, where the others of his siblings gathered.

"Good, you joined us finally," stated Matatabi, two blue tails whipping back and forth. Just as he had grown so had they, appearing bigger and more dangerous than they had as 'babies'. "It took long enough to find you."

"What were you doing?" rumbled the low voice of Kokuou, where he rested with his head on his front paws. "I have found a den of humans. They are strange creatures."

"Sleeping," Kurama retorted irritably, jaws snapping to make his point. "And I would like to continue doing so."

From next to him a heavy foot came down on one of his nine tails, and the fox yowled in pain, swiping instinctively at the perpetrator. "You will stay here."

Teeth bared, Kurama glared with hatred at the Hachibi. "Why?" he growled out, a paw made out of chakra exploding out of his chest to push the octopus bull backwards and off his tail.

"Because the humans have captured Kokuou," Isobu spoke up, his three tails undulating slowly. "They have sealed him."

"It is not our problem." The cold crisp voice was Choumei, hovering above the group on nearly transparent wings. "He was stupid and tried to eat them. When the container dies he will be free once more."

"They're irritating," the dog whined, scratching at his nose with one paw. "They do nothing but move around and sting at me with attacks. And now I am in dark and can't move."

"You are just as we were before," Son Gokuu spoke up, his voice one of the deepest of them all. "When we were one. We are all one."

The eyes of the bijuu met, looking for the connection that meant they were not separate, that there would be change in all of them.

The rest of the Sage's words sounded in Kurama's memory. _"You will meet again with different names, in different forms than you exist now, and unlike when you were within me, you will be led down the right path. When the time comes for you to know what true power is…" _Back then, he had felt the old man's sorrow and a tear – something that should not exist in a mass made completely of chakra – trickled from his eye.

"True power."

Shukaku scoffed. "There's no power but our own. We are the greatest power!" The Rokubi and Nanabi seemed inclined to agree with him, but Kurama shook his head fiercely and let out a growl that silenced anything they would say.

"He told us we would find the true power that would bring us together, and we will."

No one spoke after that and one by one they faded from wherever they had created to meet, finally leaving just Kurama sitting there, awake. Just as when he had been younger, he felt that same sorrow welling up inside and again, a tear trickled from his eye. "A hundred years already, old man. How long will we have to wait?" Fading from the mindscape as well, Kurama felt a despair and hatred kindle inside. _I won't wait forever…_


	364. Resemblances, Take Two

So, it was Ella Unlimited's idea to have me 'rewrite' one of my earliest drabbles - in fact, her first dare to me. The drabble is number 15, if anyone is interested in wanting to claw their eyeballs out at how bad the writing is. ^^ I certainly like this version better.

Tomorrow - the last story of this whole long saga, idea kindly given by Addster as her reward for the 2000th review. It will be epic.

* * *

Resemblances, Take Two

The path was worn and well-traveled underneath their sandals although not dusty, to Tsunade's eternal gratefulness. To be coated in a film of dirt from the simple act of walking would make their return trip after so many years that much worse. Although granted sending jibes at the man next to her took her mind off their destination.

"You didn't go back to Konoha for seven years and the first thing you do is get mauled by a band of angry women?" The blonde smirked at her teammate who was obviously regretting bringing up the story. "Honestly I think their punishment was a bit lacking in imagination."

"Mostly unclothed women," he corrected firmly, trying to override the chuckles that were emanating from the woman beside him. "Besides! It wasn't the punishment that mattered, it was what they called me!"

"'A weakling perverted creeper'?"

"_No,_ the Yondaime's sensei!"

"Oh yes, because every woman you peep on will instantly make the connection that _you_ taught the great, powerful, well-loved Yondaime. While beating you into a pulp."

Out of the corner of her eye, Tsunade saw Shizune move forward on the path to catch up to Naruto and engage the boy in conversation, determinedly ignoring the two Sannin behind her. In some ways her apprentice was still so innocent, despite years of travel. Well, a few more weeks in the company of Jiraiya should fix that.

Instead of retorting, Jiraiya cleared his throat and cast a glance towards the two younger students ahead of them. "So…what do you think of Naruto?"

She pretended confusion at his question, crossing her arms tightly. "What do you mean what do I think?"

"What was your first impression of him?" Jiraiya clarified so she couldn't escape the inquiry. "And don't you dare bow your way out of this one, hime. You knew his parents as well as I did."

The blonde pursed her lips. "Not nearly as well as you did, but I knew them. Why are you asking this now?"

The white-haired man gave an eloquent shrug of his shoulders. "What can I say? I'm a curious guy. And it's not as though I can ask you this when we get back to the village, so spill."

"He's…remarkably like his father in looks," she finally acquiesced to his demand, eyes staring at the neon orange back in front of the pair. "Right down to the eyes and the hair. From what you've told me, I'm surprised the village and everyone else didn't make the connection, but I suppose the idiots will see only what they want to see." Her mouth twisted in disgust. "But his attitude? It's all Kushina. Right down to the affinity for picking up impossible challenges, and winning."

_She watched as the blond boy across from her began to fidget the more she decried the position of Hokage. He could have it for all she cared, a useless title to come with a useless position that only got people killed. Besides, no way the kid had the guts to stand up to her._

_Somehow, though, she wasn't surprised when he shot up after a particularly vicious comment on her part, shouting at her loud enough to be heard across the crowded bar. Sure she could admire his courage, but the gaki was insulting her, one of the Sannin, and claiming that he could beat her. She would love taking him down a few pegs._

_Sending him flying with a mere flick of her finger did much to ease her rage, but watching the irrepressible kid push himself up and out of the split she had created in the earth irked her. Why did he even bother getting back up? Didn't he know by now it only added to the pain? Either that or he was too dumb to learn the lesson._

_When he proclaimed he could master the rasengan in a day, she couldn't keep the laugh. No, if he wanted to play the impossible game, she'd humor him. There was only one other person who she had seen pull off impossible feats, and that woman was long dead._

"He was an overconfident little brat, something I'm sure you only helped along." Tsunade nudged Jiraiya in the ribs with a not-so-gentle elbow. "You have a talent for cultivating recklessness in your students."

"Hah! Students! You admitted it!"

Eyebrow twitching slightly, the blonde sent an incredulous look at her teammate. "I never said Minato _wasn't_ your student, I just said he obviously learned more by himself than from you, what with your 'researching' habits. No doubt you did the same thing to Naruto; honestly I'm surprised the kid learned the rasengan at all."

"It's not just a habit, it's a valuable information source –"

"For perverts."

"I'm the world's super pervert!"

"Jiraiya, I swear to sensei that if you _ever_ make that boy into a pervert like you, there won't be a force on, above, or below this earth that will save you."

The killer intent leveled at the man was enough to have him gulping and backing away slightly, even after all his experience with deadly opponents that would have taken down lesser men. This was a whole new level. "H-Hey, I couldn't corrupt Minato, right…? Naruto won't…"

"He told me about that jutsu of his. If I didn't know you hadn't been in Konoha…"

"You can't pin that on me!" He was _not_ hiding behind a blond brat that was the source of his troubles, no, he had only run up to Naruto and moved in front of the boy because…because the view was better without all the orange in the way! Yeah, that was it.

The gimlet eye Tsunade was giving him didn't help matters. "You'd better remember Jiraiya, or it'll be a one way ticket and you won't be writing anymore."

"Ticket?" Naruto perked up, having missed the total conversation and the fact that Jiraiya had noticeably paled. "Where's he going? Are we going too?" Next to the boy, Shizune dragged a hand across her face, obviously trying to forget the conversation she had just heard and Naruto's obvious obtuseness. Some things were better to not remember.

"Trust me Naruto, you don't want to go on this trip." Seeing the boy's face fall noticeably, Tsunade closed the few yards between them – ignoring the fact that Jiraiya edged the same distance away from her – and ruffled his blond hair. "Besides, we're going back to Konoha now, so why don't you fill me in on everything I've missed?"

As the boy immediately started in on a discourse of all the pros and cons of ramen and why Ichiraku's was obviously the best in the village and also the whole Land of Fire, Tsunade felt herself relax bit by bit and simply enjoy the journey. He may have seemed an idiot, overconfident, idealist, and naïve brat – and actually was all of them – but she could also tell he had the courage and willpower to accomplish everything he set out to do. In that manner, he was just like his parents, and that more than anything but his own personality convinced her she was doing what was right. Besides, if someone else didn't look out for the kid, who knew what Jiraiya could get up to with his malleable mind.


	365. In the End

Here we are at the end of a very long (little over a) year. Tales has now run for 365 chapters which, while not my original goal (I had none) when starting out, I decided upon about halfway through. It has proven an excellent way to gauge my progress as a writer, which is very apparent when going back and reading (and cringing) at my earlier writings. Writing a story every day has been both a wonderful and nerve-wracking experience. Some days I had to dredge my mind for anything to write, but in the end I always managed something...and I also discovered the more sleep-deprived I am, the better it seems to get. Strange, no?

I would like to thank four people in particular for sticking around for this whole long journey - Kaiser969 and freewolf17 for being part of the catalysts who created the beginning of this, and urging me to continue writing those first few days which turned into a daily story. Addster and Ella Unlimited for promptly jumping in soon after and providing me with ideas and encouragement throughout this past year. Without the four of you I can almost guarantee I would not have made it this far.

Everybody else who had a hand in this, no matter if it was once or many times, thank you. You all are the reason I kept writing these stories, and I owe it all to you. There are too many to list without boring everyone, but I will mention a few - Star Josherson, for hopping into the story about halfway through and also reviewing practically every chapter with something new each time, DarkShadowRaven for your inventive ideas, maxridelover for your reviews that made my day, Good boy-chan for your encouragement, and narutofan (the anonymous) for also reviewing every new chapter since you joined the story and giving me some very interesting thoughts to write out.

To everybody who favorited and alerted this story over the time it was being created chapter by chapter, thank you so much. Those let me know new people were finding my story and enjoying it as much as those already reading it were...and as much as I was.

I really will miss writing a chapter every day, even though at some points it drove me towards insanity. I'll miss trying to think up a new theme every day...but that doesn't mean I'll stop writing. I have a few other ideas in the works, which will come out in both long and short stories. So keep an eye out. ^^

Again, thank you to everyone and I hope you enjoy this last chapter, whose premise is Addster's brainchild.

* * *

In the End

The bed wasn't very hard or very soft – she had lain in it so long that it just _was_. Personally as a kunoichi she hated that she couldn't move without assistance anymore, but the medic within her accepted the reality she was living and even looked forward to the next stage. After all, everyone had some curiosity as to what happened after death. Around her bed were grouped all the young people whose lives she had touched in some way since returning to the village, with those closest to her standing near the bed.

She could make out Shizune standing by the foot, now a middle-aged woman who hadn't followed her mentor's example and hidden her age – not that the jutsu worked for the retired Godaime anymore. The once jet black hair was now streaked with silver, but rather than making her appear aged it simply added a distinguished look to the medic. Next to her and a bit closer was Sakura, holding one of her children on her hip as the boy gazed solemnly around the room. Luckily he hadn't inherited his mother's unique hair color. Konohamaru stood on the other side of Shizune, all grown up and a jounin in his own right, although he still called Naruto 'boss'. Shikamaru stood beside the brunet; ever since the genius's first mission, the two had created into a mutually intellectual friendship, simply enjoying each other's company and not having to explain every thought running through their minds as the years went on. And the boy – he would always be a boy to her – had needed a confidant every now and then, and she was perfect to fill the role.

The one who occupied most of her attention, though, stood closest and where she could see him the best; the rest of the crowd was just a blur. Naruto had positioned him right next to her bed throughout the weeks, and now it was unofficially his spot alone. His hand was grasping hers lightly, as though afraid to break it, although she had told him time and time again she wasn't _that_ fragile.

She could feel it coming, creeping up on her the way the water moved out before a wave arrived at the shore, ready to enfold her into its embrace. Taking the last chance she had, Tsunade looked up at Naruto and caught his bright blue eyes, the clearest feature on his face to her, smiling weakly. "Don't you worry, it'll be okay," she breathed out, voice barely audible; her hand squeezed his lightly to impart the message. "I'll be watching…" She didn't get to hear his reply.

Death wasn't quite what she expected – which was impressive, considering she didn't have any expectations. There was no scene of floating over her body and looking down at all the people gathered around her bed, nor was there a bright light for her to follow. Instead there was a sense of floating and the delicate smell of flowers invading her nose, a far cry from the spice bundles Shizune placed around her home.

"About time you joined us." The unexpected and familiar voice had Tsunade's eyes snapping open, to stare into a face leering over her. If she hadn't been lying down she would have scrambled backwards to get away from Jiraiya's too close visage, but instead settled for the next best thing.

Her arm was caught before the slap could make contact, and another voice sounded from off to her left. "Now, that isn't the way to greet your old teammates is it, Tsunade-chan?"

Hello, Orochimaru.

Somehow when it came to death, it didn't take her by surprise that her two teammates were there; if anything, she supposed she had expected such a thing in her subconscious. They couldn't escape each other in life, why should death be any different?

Death.

The whole knowing about death thing _while_ being dead was proving a bit harder to grasp than she had initially thought. She could feel, she could smell, she could see, she could hear…she wasn't going to test taste, but no doubt that sense worked as well. But she was dead. And she was _younger_, more around her thirties than anything if how she felt was any judge, but from what she could see of her skin she looked the same age as she had for most of her life – timeless.

Seeing Tsunade's breath quicken, Jiraiya reached out an arm and gave her a tight hug around the shoulders, not one that could be misconstrued as any attempt at groping on his part and therefore result in a flying punch. "Don't worry hime, you'll get used to it pretty quick. We did, and anything we can do, you can."

"After fighting it out," Orochimaru injected in his dry tone, sending Tsunade a sympathetic smile that catapulted her back to their genin days before the genius had gone evil. That more than anything relaxed her enough to follow the raven's pointing finger to a patch of the endless field that was torn up and trampled. "It turns out we can't use jutsu up here, although chakra is readily available."

"So we brawled," Jiraiya elaborated simply. "Worked too. It gets pretty old just fighting over and over again, so we cleared the air, I guess you would say."

The whole thing was still a bit over Tsunade's head, which was still spinning with the fact she was stuck forever with her old teammates. Who were in a field of flowers – why were the boys in a field of flowers? – and acting as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. And she supposed for them, having had twenty years go by on earth while they were stuck up here, it really was ordinary by now.

"Baka, let Tsunade go and show her the pool," Orochimaru told Jiraiya, although without the normally caustic tone he has used in life. "It might help her understand things the best."

"Oh, yeah!" Jiraiya sent a flashing grin at the blonde, giving her one more squeeze around the shoulders that she promised herself she would exact payment for later, and releasing her. "You'll love this."

In a daze she followed them across the flowers – that same question nagging at her about their area choice in the afterlife – until they both stopped at a large pool of water in the middle of a clearing. It didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary until Orochimaru motioned her closer to the edge so she was looking directly down into the water instead of across it, and she couldn't quite suppress her gasp.

There below her, through what seemed to be a pane of glass, was Konoha in perfect detail. "We can focus the water wherever we want," Orochimaru explained softly so as not to break the spell that had fallen over the kunoichi. "But we usually keep it on Konoha."

"Except for the times teme here has to go check up on those precious labs of his," Jiraiya interjected, refusing to let his teammate hog all the explanation. "Which is about every year or so. He's like a mother duckling."

"I am not," Orochimaru snapped back, pale cheeks coloring slightly. "Besides, what about all those detours you make to the womens springs in Konoha and everywhere else on the continent? You think that isn't creepy?"

Without looking away from the picture that showed her beloved village with the citizens she knew wandering around about their daily business, Tsunade shot out a fist and hit Jiraiya in the head, utilizing her chakra to send the man flying. She didn't bother to see where he landed.

"Should have expected that," the sage's grumbling floated back across the field to them. "But don't think I'll let you get off scot free, teme. You ever tell her about that time when we were twelve and –"

"That was different!" Now it was more than a light blush raging across Orochimaru's face and he refused to look at Tsunade. "Besides, it was all your fault and –"

All arguing stopped as Tsunade sent her patented look at the two, the one that promised pain if they didn't cease at that exact moment. Even after all the years that had gone by since she had first used it, the look retained its effectiveness. It probably had something to do with the fact she was sure her two boys hadn't aged a day mentally from the time they were thirteen, for all the world had put the three of them through.

Her eyes were drawn back to the pool, trying to find those who had been closest to her. A pale hand reached out and touched the surface of the water lightly, sending ripples across the surface as the image wavered and changed. Now they were looking at the Hokage office, a familiar blond sitting in her chair with a group gathered in front of him.

"All it takes is a thought," Jiraiya spoke up quietly from next to Tsunade, having walked back to the pool without her noticing. "Time doesn't move quite the same up here either, so you never get tired or bored of watching things happen down there, no matter how mundane. You can speed it up and slow it down as you wish."

Already she knew she would try to watch every moment of their lives, keeping an eye on all the people that meant so much to her who she would never see them again. It was one thing to know and trust she had left the village in good hands, but there was something indescribable about watching those she had put her faith in prove it.

She didn't notice when the two males walked away, discussing something quietly under their breaths, or when they broke into another taijutsu match in that trampled down field behind her. She was engrossed in watching the present play out in Konoha, in watching the village grow and prosper under the leadership of her friends and surrogate family.

It didn't just take a Hokage to make Konoha what it was, after all.


End file.
